What makes Darcy so appealing as a character?

I think one of the reasons we love Darcy is that we, like Elizabeth, start out disliking him so very much because of his conceited aloofness and his self-absorbed sense of superiority, but grow to understand and love him as we see his more gentle and caring qualities spill forth. It is in his more unguarded moments with Elizabeth after her reproach of him and his subsequent letter to her that he allows himself to express the warm, generous, & loving parts of his character that he keeps so rigidly in check "Neither of us perform to strangers." I think he always wanted to express to her (especially at the Netherfield Ball) that he was not this cold, unfeeling clod but never got the chance because Elizabeth's preconceived notions about his character prevented him from opening up to her. Initially Darcy's door was closed to Elizabeth (She is tolerable, I suppose.....", but at this point her door is closed to him based on his alleged treatment of Wickham. SORRY if I'm rambling.....

No, Linda -- you make complete sense. I must confess, that I saw the show before reading the book. I too thought Darcy too proud, all the way through until Pemberly...just as Lizzie did. Then each time I re-watched the parts where I had previously thought him to be rude, I understood what the man was about and he seemed endearing. Upon first viewing, I thought him to be a complete jerk at the first proposal...now I can't help but exclaim out loud "Poor man! He is suffering so!"

He muddles socially, his bravado and superiority are only covering up his accute shyness and inadequacies in social settings. When we learn this, he becomes more real. When he is kind to Lizzie and the Gardners at Pemberly, we'll fogive him anything he's done wrong in the past.

I think what I like most about Darcy, what is really most attractive about him, is his love for Elizabeth. The fact that he remains so tortured by the thought of her, by the thought of his ungracious proposal, and by the knowledge that she is (presumably) lost to him forever is powerfully attractive to me. It goes beyond "oh, he's so vulnerable" into the realm that to be loved with such devotion, even when she's not behaved in a way which would engender such care and concern, means that he loves her so otally and completely that he can allow her the luxury of being less than perfect. It's also his struggle to bring himself up to her standard of gentlemanly behavior, yet not expecting her to change. He loves her for what she is.

I think what I love most about Darcy is his compassion--how he saved the Bennents from disgrace with Lydia, with his sister,etc. And also how much he loves Lizzy. One of my favorate parts is when he has just finished fencing and says "I must conquer this". That to me is just sooo sweet that he loves Lizzy so much that it's tormenting him that she turned him down.

I think what I love most about Darcy is his compassion--how he saved the Bennents from disgrace with Lydia, with his sister,etc. And also how much he loves Lizzy. One of my favorate parts is when he has just finished fencing and says "I must conquer this". That to me is just sooo sweet that his love for Lizzy is so great that he is in pain.

I love Darcy the most during the Pemberley scenes. He is so eager to prove to Elizabeth that he's not so mean as to resent the past. And of course-when he goes to London to track Wickham and Lydia down. He does it for her and let's Mr Gardiner take the credit. That's terribly romantic.

And Cassandra, don't you think all the effort he took with the Gardiners must have been difficult for him? (I mentioned this in another thread). He was so painfully shy that he was rude at the Meryton ball, but when her realizes how wrong he has been, he makes a great effort to show Elizabeth that he has taken her words to heart. And for a shy person, it must have been hard to be so outwardly polite with the Gardiners. I love that about him. And it IS so romantic that he lets Mr. Gardiner take the credit. If Lydia had never blurted it out, Lizzy might never have known!!

Oh my, what makes Darcy so appealing...hmm. (please forgive me if I make a fool of myself, this is my first time here). What makes Darcy so appealing, to me at least, is his undying and unfaltering love for Elizabeth. Sure, he didn't start out on the right foot with Lizzy, but just the way he persisted, and changed his attitude for her. I think he became the "tortured soul" quite well. The scene where Darcy forcefully chanted "I will conquer this" (or something of the sort) after he completed fencing (am I right?) pops into my head. He just was not willing to let her get away. You've got to love a man who is willing to do anything for the woman he is in love with. I love his eyes too. Yes, I know it's Firth I'm talking about, but I just *had* to say it.

Darcy's great appeal to me, (in addition to his cleverness, integrity, and devotion to family and friends), is his independence of mind and magnanimity. His independence of mind is evident in the manner in which he reverses his feelings toward Elizabeth. After initially snubbing her, Darcy becomes intrigued when she twice declines to dance with him (once at the Assembly and later during Jane's illness at Netherfield). A truly proud and less independent- thinking man would have remained resentful and not ventured the humiliation of an almost certain third rejection. Only a secure individual could find playfulness in Lizzy's direct verbal assaults: "now despise me if you dare.'' Darcy's magnanimity is demonstrated when, after Lizzy's bitter rejection of his first proposal, he listens to his heart and acknowledges to himself the truth of her accusations concerning his pride and incivility. In parallel with Lizzy's self-discovery, Lizzy's rejection shocks him into seeing for the first time just how shallow his wealth and social status have made him. As he admitted to Lizzy after their engagement: "You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You shewed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.'' When teasing Darcy after their engagement, Lizzy neatly summarizes the reason for his becoming attracted to her: ... The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike them. Had you not been really amiable, you would have hated me for it; but in spite of the pains you took to disguise yourself, your feelings were always noble and just; and in your heart, you thoroughly despised the persons who so assiduously courted you.'' For all his wealth and social status, Darcy chose not to submit to the familial claim of fortune and the societal claim of honorable class connection; but rather chose to recognize what was truly valuable and took an independent path. By avoiding resentment and by owning the justice of Lizzy's complaints, Darcy followed his heart and developed a truly magnanimous spirit. That to me is a very appealing individual.

Don't you just love determination in a man.

Strong, silent, respectable, appreciative and passionately loyal in his affections. Wow, what a combination.

Passionate is defintely the correct word! Also, enigmatic and complex. One thing is certain-Lizzy won't be bored married to Mr Darcy!

Well, (sorry Amy) but if Darcy was to resemble Colin Firth in any way, guess she'll be leaving the lights on..

...each time I re-watched the parts where I had previously thought him to be rude, I understood what the man was about and he seemed endearing. Upon first viewing, I thought him to be a complete jerk at the first proposal...now I can't help but exclaim out loud "Poor man! He is suffering so!" ...don't you think all the effort he took with the Gardiners must have been difficult for him? (I mentioned this in another thread). He was so painfully shy that he was rude at the Meryton ball, but when her realizes how wrong he has been, he makes a great effort to show Elizabeth that he has taken her words to heart. And for a shy person, it must have been hard to be so outwardly polite with the Gardiners. I love that about him. Double ditto. Candace and Lynn, you made it really easy for me and said it much better than I could have. These are the things I love about him, too.

I think it is partly the fact that he grows so much in the course of the story. We all like to think that we can change the men in our lives, this just playes into that fantasy.

Okay you guys, I am making a list. Here�s why I like this character so much. Sorry if I make any repetitions, looks like it�s going to be a long one. I truly believe that JA sat down and made such a list of every possible characteristic that women love or look for in men and created Darcy ;-) Anyway, here is my list, not necessarily in the order of importance, since I don't know which side of him I admire the most : ) 1) He is honest, sincere and truthful, even with himself. 2) He is open minded and willing to admit his faults and mistakes. 3) He is willing to improve himself and alter his behaviour for the better. ( I don�t mean this in the sense of the traditional argument between men and women, that women want to change men. I don�t think he truly changes for her. He just realizes that he has been misrepresenting himself in social settings. Although there are no men likely to read this, I just thought I should clear it up and not cause any arguments. Men tend to be very sensitive about this issue. I don�t know why ;-)) 4) He is respectable, trustworthy and truly noble. 5) He is generous. 6) He is very much capable of unconditional love. 7) He respects the woman he loves. 8) He has a strong sense of responsibility and a powerful conscience.( He can�t live with the possibility of his mistakes costing anyone any pain or unhappiness.) 9) He is intelligent and well educated. 10) He is decisive. He knows what he wants and goes after it, no matter what. 11) He is a problem solver. 12) He is caring and concerned for the well-being of people around him. 13) He is passionate. 14) He is vulnerable. 15) He is realistic. 16) He is observant, fair and objective. 17) He admires her 'for the liveliness of her mind'.(prefers meaningful relationships) 18) He is very mature, capable and self-reliant. 19) He is handsome, rich and tall. 20) He is a true gentleman with a gentle and courteous soul. 21) He has a good sense of humour. (just the right amount) 22) He does not have any bad habits. Did I leave anything out?

"Although there are no men likely to read this" Henry, Bill, Ian, Eric and even Mike might like to dispute that.

I think Darcy's 'humaness" endears him most to me. Perhaps I have read the book too many times to see his rudeness now. I love the fact that Darcy is able to put aside the social and familial pressures of marrying "below him" if you'll allow me. His love for Elizabeth is unwavering. All the romantic broo-ha-ha is very valid (I know I'm rambling - please bear with me) However, Darcy shows himself to be a man in the true sense of the word. Until he professes his love to Lizzy and she so harshly rejects him, he felt his class, money, and his own self esteem was enough to endear ANY woman, much less a woman of a lower class. I don't believe he ever saw himself through any one else's eyes (except Caroline Bingley's) until Lizzy voiced her opinion of his pride and arrogance. So far, Darcy has exhibited every characteristic known to man (as a gender). However - Darcy grows S OO much! He is able to self -examine and realize the consequences of his previous actions and appreciate that others see may see him differently than he sees himself. Henceforth, Darcy's actions, and later words, show us that he has been able to recognize his faults and has endeavored to overcome them. Does any of this make sense? I guess, in summary, Darcy makes a concious effort to recognize his faults, account for them, and grow to overcome / adapt to them. Yet one thing remains constant, and that is his love for Lizzy. What more could a woman want?

Sorry Ann, I am new and didn't notice that there were that many men in this conference. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Anyway, it's late, I am sleepy and obviously making mistakes. Please disregard that remark. Megan

Megan, you can do no wrong in my books now after that complete summary of Mr Darcy, that poor man who suffered so humiliating a rejection and came out a better person for it. Yes, Ann, if the only thing he did was to change for Lizzy, it would be enough for me. Amy, I can't stay away from this topic, I have been in love with Darcy since I was 12 years old, this sounding more and more liike a hopeless case the older I grow.

I cannot help but think of the truely mean things Darcy says in the beginning. Like: To stand up with company such as this would be utterly insupportable and I would as soon call her mother a wit. Is this his insecurty talking? If he is basically a kind person, why would he say things like this, even to his closest friends? I think the slams dished out to Caroline Bingley at the end are a little more civil, for some time I have considered her one of the handsomest women of my acquaintan e. Any opinions about this?

Who can resist responding to this topic? And who can really disagree with most of what has been said? He is handsome, passionate, kind, generous. Further, what were previously perceived as major flaws of pride and arrogance are later revealed to be endearing qualities as he seeks to overcome them for Lizzy. I would like to add one big one for me--as we finally see Pemberly--its glories, its size--he is the "master" of Pemberly and "There is not one of his tenants or servants but will give him a good name." To be adored by someone like this! Heavy sigh!

Dina: I cannot help but think of the truely mean things Darcy says in the beginning. Like: To stand up with company such as this would be utterly insupportable and I would as soon call her mother a wit. Is this his insecurty talking? If he is basically a kind person, why would he say things like this, even to his closest friends? I think the slams dished out to Caroline Bingley at the end are a little more civil, for some time I have considered her one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance. I tend to attribute much of that early "cutting" wit to the influence of Caroline Bingley. She is always making snide comments concerning others to Darcy; ostensibly for his enjoyment. I believe he did enjoy acting that way at first (to cover insecurity? maybe), but as he is made aware of Lizzy's good qualities, and his own failings, snide comments become tiresome and he makes an effort to improve. At any rate, blaming Caroline makes me feel better! ;)

"To stand up with company such as this would be utterly insupportable" When Bingley insists on Darcy's dancing his complete statement is: " I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not other woman in the room, whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with." Before I say anything, let me warn you that I am one of those people who immediately liked Darcy. Yes, even at the beginning, long before Pemberly. So, I'll probably sound like his advocate here. This sentence shocks me a little but what I understand from it that this person is not comfortable in this particular social setting. He doesn't know anybody. He is not used to be around people of this type of social or economical background. (Mrs. Gardiner later states that they moved in different social circles, for example). He feels a little out of place. Yet he is there, if he was a proud person, truly thinking low of that community, he would not have come. His pride here is sort of a form of ration lization of his own discomfort, I think... I cannot blame him for wanting to only dance with women he knows. Actually, I respect him for that. He sticks to this policy until the very end. This just means that when he dances with a woman, he is truly singling her out, pays her a complement. In Bingley's case for example, the distinguishment is in how many dances he dances with each partner. If he dances two with Jane and one with Charlotte, it means he likes Jane better. But for Darcy, when he asks a woman, it is much more than a casual event. Beca se of this comment, and also the two refusals on both parts, the dance scene at Netherfield is so powerful. (I also find it very amusing. Something to laugh at in a man who is not to be laughed at.) Regarding, "She a beauty!- I should as soon call her mother a wit" Lizzy is not supposed to be beautiful in the general sense. This is his first impression of her and he is truly honest. But don't we all admire him for going beyond the first impressions and find the true beauty in her, the everlasting one? Something Lizzy failed to do at the beginning and couldn't see beyond his so-called pride. She also couldn't see what Wickham was all about. So, Lizzy couldn't handle her first impressions and prejudices as well as Darcy did. I see this sentence as a proof of one of hi admirable traits. As, for calling her mother a wit, well, he is right isn't he? Although impolite, he is still fair and honest. We can always blame the rudeness and the mockery on the bad influence of Bingley's sisters, after all he says this in their company. :) Well, seriously, sometimes honesty comes out rude depending on the company. I see both of these remarks as a way of emphasizing his wonderful characteristics that are revealed later on, which happen to be extremely hard to find in men. The big difference in his civility between the beginning and the end of the novel gives us a measure of the magnitude of the many capabilities of this man and increases the intensity of our appreciation of him. It is because of comments as these, we understand that his love for her is deep and true and forever... Megan

Hey, Tracey! I see you got to blame Caroline before I did, when I was busy writing. ;) I guess we think alike, huh?

Megan, I'm with you on your take on Darcy. I've also always liked him from the very beginning. I always think of him as shy and uncomfortable in strange surroundings, yet he went to the Assembly because his friend asked him to, which to me shows his kindness to his friends. In the TV series, when Mrs. B. tells him "you will not find prettier partners or livlier music" he merely bows and turns away and holds his tongue, although if he had been truly rude he could have said a lot to contradict her! Can you really blame him, considering her look at Lizzie and her tone of voice? I can't! He may have seemed proud to the Meryton people but he never seemed that proud to me -- just reserved! But then, he's been a perfect hero since I first read P&P at about age 12 or 13!

Megan, WOW! I don't agree with all you said, but you made some excellent points I had not thought of. Just because what he said about Mrs. B. is true doesn't make it o.k. to say it that sharply. I think I want to see him more insecure as he appears later. Or if he is the man you describe in #12 & 20 above, why did he behave so rudely (do some of your wonderful characteristics seem contrary to one another)? Thanks for you comments. I love Darcy (of course, or would I be here!?!?). Tracey, I am not ure I can buy into the Carloline thing, yes, she may have influenced his comments, but that doesn't necessarily excuse his behavior. I guess I just see him too "superior" and want him to fall a few notches, which he does. I just think he is a bit too rude, not shy.

Perhaps Darcy had just came through a few city/towns like London with all their superflourous fineries to be found amongst that set of stylish people and behaviours to match. He became uncomfortable with woman in general and chose to hung out only with ladies he knew. Maybe he was shy and hiding behind that arrongant facade. Coming to Meryton was a change to country folks and by the time he was at Lucas's party, he began to accept the 'simplier' people for what they were, and Lizzy's beauty and simplic ty began to work on him. Afterall, they were relatively harmless.

Also, Darcy has simply never met another woman like Lizzy before, with her "pert opinions." I love the scene at Netherfield where she has just commented on being astonished, with the array of demand he makes for such a thing, that he should know "half a dozen" ladies of accomplishment. When he turns around in his chair and studies her, really studies her, you can tell he is thinking, "What a truly extraordinary girl!"

Megan - I guess we do think alike! I like the way you put your "defense;" well done! I, too have been predisposed to like Darcy, but in my case it was because I saw the adaptation before I read the book, and CF managed to convey hints of underlying conflict/reserve/discomfort so well that you can see where he's coming from before Lizzy can. Dina - Indeed, Caroline's influence cannot excuse Darcy's behavior, and I would not have it so. I guess my line of thinking is that if you're constantly exposed to such unrestrained cattiness, it rubs off on you in subtle ways; and that the influence of company such as Caroline's, coupled with Darcy's naturally high opinion of himself, and even his reserve or shyness resulted in his rudeness of address.

Very nicely put, Meagan! You have just taken me to a review of the first tape (yet again!). It strikes me that at the assembly, the somewhat botched introduction of Darcy to Mrs. Bennet and her presumptious comments put Darcy ill at ease and caused his retreat. Her loud denunciation of him within earshot of so many (himself, especially), put him in an even worse humor. It is no wonder to me that he would want nothing more to do with "country manners". His remark that "he would as soon call her mother a w t" reflects, I believe, nothing more than that his is still in very bad humor over the evening's events. This incident clearly shows his later self assessment to be on the mark: he is somewhat easily provoked toward resentful feelings.

Bill, that is perfect, that makes me understand him. I think his reaction perfectly natural now. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!