The Bennets: A Credible Family?

I can accept Mary - I have seen teens deliberately chose an area in which to excel. Mary is too plain and socially clumsy to compete with her sisters, so she chooses to be accomplished. She works so hard. It is a pity nature (or Mr. Bennet) could not have given her a little help Jane - that's another story. I love her. Her generosity has not encumbered her with difficult or tiresome friends. Like Melanie Hamilton Wilkes, she is kind and understanding with everyone - see dignity in everyone - but manages to hold herself apart from the errors of the people she defends so we know that there is a strong core of unspoken resistence to folly and meanness. I cannot explain Jane. I have known people like that - one was an only child about whose family I know nothing, the other two were "second children" in difficult families. The "seconds" had learned by "horrible example" not to behave like the older sibling and perhaps learned patience and forbearance because of their need to love their difficult parents. At the moment, I like the idea that Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were better parents to their first two little daughters than they were to any of their children by the time the novel opened. Things happen to change us all. The Bennets started out sure that they had no financial problems that could not be resolved. Jane and Eliz arrive, beautiful, bright, engaging. The elder Bennets are enchanted and loving. Then fretful, awkward Mary and fretful whiney Kitty arrive. Still no son. Mr. and Mrs. B are getting orried - the household is growing large and confused. Tension and division begin to dominate family communication. the clone arrives. Mr. B. is alienated. Mrs. B has found her consolation prize.

I was under the impression that Jane and Lizzie spent alot more time with the Gardiner's then their younger siblings. This alone could explain their differences in regard to society than their sisters.

Katy, I love your description of the arrival of the Bennet children, and I think you have a good point there. But, as Candace, says, I've always thought that Jane and Lizzie had the benefit of Mrs. Gardiner's advice and example and were better as a result of their frequent visits to London.

Inko and Candance: Of course you are right about London. I am sure the Gardiners friends in London are superior to the Merryton set. Jane and Elizabeth must have gained much poise in that environment. But where did Jane get her loving disposition?

I think you already have answerd that qustion. Remember how the gardined COULN'T think ill of Wickham, even after he and Lydia ran away? well, isn't that sort of Jane behavior?

The Gardners and Jane - yes you have made the link. I have know people like Jane: they try to see good in every one, but they seem to choose the best people for their intimate acquaintances. There is an unspoken discrimination in their judgment that preserves them from being imposed on by unworthy people. In fact - perhaps that is the key to Jane's sweetness: most of us are so afraid of being imposed upon that we look for error and weakness everywhere. The Janes and the Gardinars and the Charles Bingleys do not have that fear. Yes, Charles' sisters do seem to impose but perhaps, has head of the family, he has a duty to allow such imposition.

Another psychological factor to consider in judging the five Bennett girls is that siblings often react against other siblings if they don't like what they see. For example, I was a straight-A student, Valedian, blah blah; my sister determined NEVER to try in school, because she felt she couldn't compete. I didn't care about fashion; she was a total clothes-horse. So I can understand how plain Mary would retreat into books; and how the younger B's turned out silly & flirtatious, cause they probably fou d L & J too boring for their tastes...

Mr. Bennet predicts that ``You are each of you so complying that nothing will ever be resolved on, so easy that every servant will cheat you, and so generous that you will always exceed your income.''

Henry reminds us that Mr. Bennet predicts for Jane and Bingley that ``You are each of you so complying that nothing will ever be resolved on, so easy that every servant will cheat you, and so generous that you will always exceed your income." I thought of that as I wrote my last. At the moment, I am inclined to think that it is his own fear of being imposed upon (he is imposed upon constantly) that he is voicing. My fellow cynics and I are terrified of being taken advantage of, and we are sure if we ever let down our guard that we would be. We cannot imagine that open, kind people can survive, but they do - and survive very well.

Even in L.A.?

I think that the sheer number of children, coupled with the disintegration of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's relationship, caused the last three daughters to suffer maladjustment. As stated earlier, Mary latches herself onto books, abandoned midstream in her developement as is Kitty, while almost no attempt whatsoever is made with Lydia. I see Mrs. Bennet, upon Mr. Bennet's retreat from parental responsibility, indulging Lydia (the baby), while Mr. Bennet takes refuge in the achievements he has made in his oldes daughters. Mary is thereby left to her books, and Kitty - intransigent as she is, abandoned at an even more critical moment, is swayed in the direction of her mother and younger sister.

"Variation in the Bennet girls character and personalities" Although this is an old discussion topic, often read by me, I have yet to share my thought with you. So here I go. As the father of five daughters, I am not the least surprised by the Bennet girls' widely differing personalities. In fact, I have found that to be one of the joys of bringing so many daughters into the world. Moreover, on the basis of my friendship with several other parents of large families, I would expect such a variation, not only in appearance, but also in character. It is very easy for me to identify with Mr. Bennet's behavior as a father. To be sure, he makes all the mistakes so common to most of us: leaving all too much of the day-to-day child-rearing responsibilities to his wife, showing a favoritism to one child (who no doubt most closely resembles him in character and is recognized as such by the other children), and, upon arousement to action, responding with bluster and threats that all too often are not followed up. On the other hand, Mr Bennet, does partici ate in the family gatherings (at meal time and at their leisure in the parlor). He does listen and talk to his daughters. And most importly, he does come across as one who loves his family (albeit they are silly girls like all the rest of them) and as one who is interested in them. As for Mrs. Bennet, I have very little to say other than she is his wife and as such deserves Mr Bennet's respect and support.

Thanks Don...reality check. Were we getting too obnoxious and nitpicky in our psychoanalyses? ;)

As I was tidying up in my kitchen, my thoughts went back to a lovely scene from FoF:s creative list. It made me think of Lizzy's not being able to ride, and Jane only performing it once on a rather large horse. They had no riding-horses at Longbourne or just one for Mr Bennet? How was it that lively Lizzy, so fond of outdoor exercise, had never learnt? And why could Jane do it? Though she did not appear to be all that good at it. So much for my equastrian ponderings. (Notice my self control on this matter.) Next minute, I was really surprised to experience a feeling of gratitude towards Mrs Bennet(Imagine that!!) She is the actual cause of Lizzy's muddy walk with all it's proceedings. Were it not for the arts of Mrs Bennet, Lizzy and Darcy would not have spent several days under the same roof. And he would not have had the chance to enjoy so much of her easy, witty conversation, to be intrigued by her obvious indifference towards him and not have had all those hours to secretely watch her from behind his book, his billiard cue, his towels or whatever... Have we been giving the credit that is due- despite the low and scheming nature of her mind - to the always sligthed Mrs Bennet.

I too, have given some thought to why Lizzy does not ride. It probably starts with the fact that her father may not have a lot of interest in doing it just for sport. You never hear about him going riding - he probably rides only for necessity. So Lizzy, having always loved playing out of doors as a small child. never had an interest sparked for getting on a horse to go somewhere. If the family had only one mount, it would not have been conducive to learning to ride, even if she were interested (and i probably why Jane doesn't do it well). Then when she is older, she may not have been as comfortable with the idea, so didn't even attempt to learn as much as Jane did. (Jane's not riding well also leads me to believe that she didn't learn until the she was older - I can't ski as well as my seven year old neice.) Lizzy herself didn't care one way or another whether she could ride or not, and she didn't care what others thought of her for not being able to. And it might not even have been a big deal to others. I don't recall 'riding' listed amoung the many accomplishments of a young woman listed by Caroline and Darcy. But I am convinced that our dear Lizzy is not so afraid as to not be unwilling to learn, with the right inducement - riding out with her husband over his vast property.

Excellent points, Sharon. Parental encouragement is a big part of it, I think. Mr. Bennet probably never gave much thought to getting his daughters riding lessons. After all, how was he to afford it? Horses can be a dangerous and expensive experiment. I had to bribe, beg, and bully my dear mother, at the age of seven, to let me try riding. For twelve years, she paid through the nose for lessons. And watched my mess up my face in a jumping accident. But I wouldn't have given up the experience for a ything! Perhaps if Lizzy and Jane had been adamant about riding, he would have acquiesced, but since they weren't, why should he have pressed the issue?

I too have always wondered why Lizzie never rode, given her bent for healthful exercise. I suppose if the Bennets had been able to afford her a horse of her own, she would have become an excellent rider. Do y'all think that the elegant Bingley sisters were horsewomen, or was anything but a carriage beneath them?

I didn't mean to hit the submit response; but now that I have done it, I feel obligated to respond. "...when Jane testified such concern in parting with her that Miss Bingley was obliged to convert the offer of the chaise into an invitation to remain at Netherfield". It doesn't seem to matter whether Elizabeth rode horseback or walked to Netherfield; she still would have been invited to stay. The question "Why didn't she learn to ride a horse?", in view of her penchant for athletic activities, is an interesting thread.

WE are all allowed to create "new topics" Donald. Go for it!

As P&P2 shows Mr. Darcy as such an experienced horseman and the book depicts Lizzy as no horsewoman...Can you not evision Mr. Darcy singing to Lizzy the Jackson Browne song "Let me swing you up into the saddle...Honey, can I introduce you to my red-neck friend".

LOL, Candace! True, maybe Darcy would spring for one of those London masters once he & Lizzie are married, and she can enter show jumping competitions!