{"conf": "sex", "generated_at": "2026-04-26T08:00:02.954878Z", "threads": [{"num": 0, "subject": "", "response_count": 0, "posts": []}, {"num": 1, "subject": "introductions", "response_count": 52, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "jan28mar2", "date": "Wed, Nov 27, 1996 (13:14)", "body": ""}, {"response": 2, "author": "dag44", "date": "Mon, Dec  9, 1996 (08:24)", "body": "Hello, this could be an interesting area, and I am interested in what form this forim will take. I will visit often"}, {"response": 3, "author": "MEgabiT", "date": "Tue, Dec 17, 1996 (10:38)", "body": "I've always been very open about sex. I am curious about Americans... So far, just a couple of responses. Hey people, don't be shy. I for one have the wildest dreams to share. The fact is though I've been realizing them with my own lovely wife (so far)"}, {"response": 4, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Dec 17, 1996 (20:55)", "body": "OK. I had an erotic dream with Sissy Spacek."}, {"response": 5, "author": "CrazedLoc", "date": "Mon, Dec 23, 1996 (01:18)", "body": "I've been a reader of xxx stories for 7yrs now. i had a collection of over 3000 some good some bad. All I want is to start reading again. Is there annyone that can tell me a site for this kind of info I am waiting for the dealer to have my hard disk repaired. Then I can continue to read my stories. But in the meanwhile I have seen one site that has XXX stories check it out.! http:://www.adultstory.com"}, {"response": 6, "author": "prp1", "date": "Mon, Dec 23, 1996 (20:32)", "body": "Paul Chan.. Have you adult picture ?"}, {"response": 7, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, Dec 23, 1996 (22:14)", "body": "Perhaps Paul you can suggest some good stories to place on our adult story website."}, {"response": 8, "author": "MEgabiT", "date": "Tue, Dec 31, 1996 (11:56)", "body": "I've been waiting for some interesting input to this topis, in vain. Terry, if you do not consider it unethical, I could paste some dialogs from a sex NetMeeting conference (names of participatns changed). Maybe this would stimulate this topic?"}, {"response": 9, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Dec 31, 1996 (17:03)", "body": "You might want to get permission before reposting something."}, {"response": 10, "author": "wachter", "date": "Thu, Jan 30, 1997 (22:53)", "body": "Sex is great but friendship is better."}, {"response": 11, "author": "Limey", "date": "Sun, Mar 16, 1997 (10:25)", "body": "sounds good to me ......."}, {"response": 12, "author": "chinaman", "date": "Sat, Apr  5, 1997 (03:01)", "body": "Sex is indded the best if you have the right friend"}, {"response": 13, "author": "chinaman", "date": "Sat, Apr  5, 1997 (03:03)", "body": "Sex is indded the best if you have the right friend"}, {"response": 14, "author": "ginnygal", "date": "Fri, Jun 13, 1997 (02:52)", "body": "Can be yummy!"}, {"response": 15, "author": "pelles", "date": "Sat, Jun 21, 1997 (12:45)", "body": "Rockey Horror Picture Show's elbo sex is fun. No sickness here but lot's of good fun with special friends."}, {"response": 16, "author": "yoda", "date": "Wed, Jul  2, 1997 (07:40)", "body": "does any body know how to get a programm to look at JPG pic`s I only got a programm that can down load GIF pic`s OH yeah, sex is really nice thing to do. Yoda."}, {"response": 17, "author": "yoda", "date": "Wed, Jul  2, 1997 (07:46)", "body": "Does any body knows how you`re own e-mail adress works. Every time I wanna click on some body say pelles the computer respons with: you must specify a return address in mail and news preferences. Where the HELL are they I can`t find them. My E-mail address is Yoda@d215x31.fe.hanze.nl I`m from holland and i`m 21 years old. my hobbies are drawing, climbing playing paintball and play on my sega saturn. Yoda."}, {"response": 18, "author": "terry", "date": "Wed, Jul  2, 1997 (11:06)", "body": "I'll tell pelles."}, {"response": 19, "author": "gaby", "date": "Sun, Jul  6, 1997 (21:48)", "body": "Who is Sissy Spacek?"}, {"response": 20, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Jul  6, 1997 (21:55)", "body": "Who is Cissy Spacek! Did you really ask that question? I thought everyone had heard of her. She's a very well known actress. Been in many major movies."}, {"response": 21, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Oct 29, 1997 (10:13)", "body": "The coal miners daughter!!!"}, {"response": 22, "author": "Cuchu", "date": "Mon, Nov  3, 1997 (22:09)", "body": "friendship can be better than sex, but sex is much more healthyer!!!"}, {"response": 23, "author": "maddog2", "date": "Mon, Nov  3, 1997 (23:24)", "body": "Sex is a must,but it can drive you mad!"}, {"response": 24, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Nov  4, 1997 (10:24)", "body": "You make that sound like a negative. WER"}, {"response": 25, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Nov  4, 1997 (12:01)", "body": "This morning I'll put my vote in for the sleepy, half dreamy lovemaking with your best friend and lover. Somewhere around 2am when parts of you are wide awake and your eyes and mind would like to remain suspended in dreamland... a rub here accidental contact there... Pretty soon you realize all those surreal moans are coming from very close by (your own throat) and you find yourself in an odd, but not at all uncomfortable position... After you're fully roused and can't get back to sleep, I advise an early breakfast with eggs, hashbrowns and OJ. *dreamy smile*"}, {"response": 26, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Nov  4, 1997 (23:02)", "body": "Very nice. WER"}, {"response": 27, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Nov  5, 1997 (10:41)", "body": "yes, it is."}, {"response": 28, "author": "mischa", "date": "Mon, Dec  8, 1997 (19:49)", "body": "this is a very interesting place i am new on computer but hope totalk to some neat people and here their view on things e-mail mischa@1cust65.tnt18.atl.da.uu.net"}, {"response": 29, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Dec  9, 1997 (10:24)", "body": "welcome mischa!"}, {"response": 30, "author": "Netsnack", "date": "Thu, Dec 25, 1997 (01:01)", "body": "In all respects to those who indulge in the fantasy of maybe relizing how intriguing sex is. It is in my opinion one of the greatest forms of human contact we will feel in our existance. To say it simple ( It's SWELL)"}, {"response": 31, "author": "ginwa", "date": "Fri, Mar 13, 1998 (07:54)", "body": "I would like to talk to you . do ypu mind sendig me a massage"}, {"response": 33, "author": "johnknee", "date": "Thu, Apr 16, 1998 (22:30)", "body": "da"}, {"response": 34, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Apr 20, 1998 (00:17)", "body": "welcome johnny!!!"}, {"response": 35, "author": "RUTGERS", "date": "Thu, Jun 18, 1998 (03:41)", "body": "here's johnny, and thanks for the greeting!"}, {"response": 36, "author": "RUTGERS", "date": "Thu, Jun 18, 1998 (03:44)", "body": "stacey vura, thanks 4 da greeting! -johnny"}, {"response": 37, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Jun 25, 1998 (20:53)", "body": "er, your welcome."}, {"response": 38, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Jun 26, 1998 (01:28)", "body": "Where has Johnny gone? Tired of us already?"}, {"response": 39, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (00:14)", "body": "Good morning, Riette, How are you this morning? How was the lunch with your partner? I eagerly await the recipe for the sauce for the snake salad."}, {"response": 40, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:16)", "body": "You're up! Good late night, my friend! I'm very well, and you? Lunch was marvellous, and we came up with some brilliant idea during the course of it.... I'll phone Mum around noon - during her lunch break, because our phonecalls tend to be pretty melodious....they linger on, if you know what I mean!"}, {"response": 41, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:24)", "body": "I am doing just fine. I know exactly what you mean. I have an aunt that stays on the phone for a couple of hours each time I call her. During a good lunch, you should savor the food, not do buisiness."}, {"response": 42, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (00:54)", "body": "Art isn't business! At least not proper business. I sometimes think about how it's such a lie to call one's 'business' art. I mean, you sit and make pictures all day! It should be called one's 'play'! I didn't get Mum on the phone yesterday, but manage to send her an e-mail, so I guess she'll mail me the sauce either today or on Monday. Damn, I wish there were snakes here - haven't had snake salad since January! I could always pay a visit to the nearest pet shop..... NO, HOW HORRIBLE OF ME!"}, {"response": 43, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (00:56)", "body": "So what is horrible, food is food, wherever you find it"}, {"response": 44, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:31)", "body": "It IS horrible though! I wouldn't like it if I knew somebody went into a pet shop, and bought little guinea-piggies to fry them for dinner!"}, {"response": 45, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:31)", "body": "True, but then you wouldn't like the idea of someone eating guinea-piggies, anyway, whether or not they got them at a pet shop."}, {"response": 46, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:31)", "body": "That's true. But the idea of buying an animal in a pet shop to EAT, is so creepy - I still wouldn't do it!"}, {"response": 47, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (00:45)", "body": "I'm not so squeamish about that. I guess that it's because, when I was taking care of a snake called julius, sometimes I bought food for her at a pet shop. Constrictors only eat live prey, won't touch anything dead."}, {"response": 48, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (03:38)", "body": "Food is food, and everything has to eat,"}, {"response": 49, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Dec  9, 1998 (22:41)", "body": "be it man or plant or beast."}, {"response": 50, "author": "Carys", "date": "Sat, Sep  9, 2000 (13:33)", "body": "What a strange point in the conference in which I choose to introduce myself. Well, I'm Carys, this seems an interesting topic, and I'm too, err, embarassed to go on further..."}, {"response": 51, "author": "carolinaboy", "date": "Wed, Sep 20, 2000 (13:50)", "body": "What a strange conference to make a point in. Like it thiugh! Hi, my name is Tom, or T.C."}, {"response": 52, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Sep 20, 2000 (15:23)", "body": "Aloha Tom! For your more edifying moments there is Geo (no rock comments, please...) It is mine and not as boring as it may seem! Creative minds need many outlets. This is just one of them. E komo mai and aloha! http://www.spring.net/yapp-bin/restricted/browse/geo/all/"}, {"response": 53, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Sep 21, 2000 (16:25)", "body": "Now that I have your attention: A moment for a serious subject - the maintainance of Spring. Yesterday, the entire Spring shut down. I felt as though someone dear to me had died. There was NO was to see Geo or anything else in any of the other conferences. As one fellow conference host put it, I have spoken with the woman who wrote the Yapp software and she has explained why we have some periodic site losses in the afternoon, which btw corresponds to midnight GMT. It has to do with the number of hits we experience daily and the fact we are exceeding them. Just FYI, it doesn't matter if you do or don't post at Spring because lurkers generate hits as well. She has generously offered to bump up the license limit if the old license is paid for. BTW, the license is a one-time thing. Therefore, folks, this is a request for donations. All payments should be mailed to: Spring Accounting Department 182 Clover Road Cedar Creek, TX 78612 Checks and money orders should be made out to \"The Spring\". Be sure to include the login ID of the account. Please help if you can! Thanks for helping keep spring flowing and this conference alive! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 10, "subject": "erotic stories", "response_count": 4, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Mar 15, 1998 (13:01)", "body": "We've got competition! I have a contract to write an erotic series of stories for \"Erotasy,\" a new online salon of erotic writing. I will be writing twelve interlocking stories over the next year, and my monthly story will be serialized each week and will be the \"free\" story upfront for the entire site. The better to entice folks to come on in and then pay for the many other wonderful stories available on a pay-per-story basis. I hope: ) The site will be open on March 1 at www. erotasy.com. There is an open call for submission of erotic stories, which I am posting below, because I suspect there are many wonderful writers of erotic tales in every corner of the Well.. These are good people and an exciting new venture. ************************************************************** Erotasy - Writers Guidelines \"Erotasy\"-a new on-line salon has been announced by WeAm Press, a San Francisco publisher of erotic literature, and is soliciting submissions from writers. ***Erotasy is scheduled for launch at www.erotasy.com -on March 1, 1998*** We need excellent unpublished short stories (1500-5,000 words), for a collection to be marketed online, as well as in print. This is NOT the stereotypical slam-bang porno-for-pinheads that is free (and worth it) all over the 'net. This is literature that recognizes our sexuality as full of mystery, suspense, longing and taboo, as well as humor and excitement. Straight, Gay, Casual & Committed- stories will be accepted. NO non-consensual or under-age stories. NO sleazy porn. Erotasy looks for erotic stories as smooth as silk, intriguing from the start, stimulating and provocative, without beating us over the head. Give your characters some depth, no-one is all-good, all-bad and rarely all-night. New writers must read some of the listed examples, there are many kinds of erotica, from \"one-handed\" letters-to-Penthouse to cerebral tomes that never mention a body part. Choosing neither extreme, we seek the category of provocative literature. Compensation will be a small upfront payment of $25.00 AND royalties on the sale of each and every copy of the story on-line. WeAm will ask for exclusive rights to market the stories on-line for one year. A collection of the most popular stories may be print-published, with a separate publishing contract and compensation. A few examples of the kind of literature we will publish follows: +In the book by Anais Nin titled \"Delta of Venus\", the stories \"Linda\" and \"The Basque and Bijou\" +In Susie Bright's - \"Best American Erotica '94\" the stories \"C is for Closet, Crevice and Colossus\" by Marianna Beck, and \"Better Safe\" by Michael Lowenthal +In Isabel Allende's - \"Stories of Eva Luna\" the story \"Simple Maria\" +In Lonnie Barbach's \"The Erotic Edge\" collection, the stories \"Waiting for Claire\" by B. Zimmerman and \"Other Men\" by E. Buskirk From this list, you can get an idea of the style and quality we are looking for. Send us your best, we promise to give it a good read. Send submissions by *snail mail* only, please. Include a SASE for our reply. Unaccepted originals will be recycled. We Am Press 3145 Geary Blvd., Ste. 17 San Francisco, CA 94118 *************************************************************"}, {"response": 2, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Thu, Mar 19, 1998 (11:13)", "body": "oo-er terry, you kinky bugger"}, {"response": 3, "author": "autumn", "date": "Thu, Mar 19, 1998 (12:31)", "body": "Is there anything this man doesn't do??"}, {"response": 4, "author": "jdot", "date": "Sat, Mar 28, 1998 (22:20)", "body": "I checked out the site metioned and found an unfinished site better luck nex time.J.J.M."}]}, {"num": 11, "subject": "erroneous erogenous zones and preferred alternate destinations", "response_count": 41, "posts": [{"response": 2, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Apr 20, 1998 (00:17)", "body": "and I could write a book!"}, {"response": 5, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, May  4, 1998 (11:31)", "body": "A rapidly evolving site!"}, {"response": 6, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (22:23)", "body": "come on, come on - where should men not put their willies?! Where should women not ask as a destination?"}, {"response": 7, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (00:36)", "body": "Men should defenitely not put their willies in thermosflasks. There was a hilarious case when I was 18 or so, of a guy who was brought to hospital with a thermosflask stuck on his willy. Turns out he was trying to masturbate into the thing, created a vacuum, and got sucked in."}, {"response": 8, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:06)", "body": "That's very funny :-) The things we men do...*grin*"}, {"response": 9, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:57)", "body": "I know! At least with us things don't get stuck in akward places. Or so I hope!"}, {"response": 10, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:58)", "body": "Never even considered it."}, {"response": 11, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:00)", "body": "That's good. It's no use being kinky if it's going to cost you the use of that wonderful piece of equipment, is it?"}, {"response": 12, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:07)", "body": "Yep, no brainer."}, {"response": 13, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:12)", "body": "Good. So at least we all agree upon one thing!"}, {"response": 14, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (04:33)", "body": "I guess, in this context, \" free willie \", takes on an entirely different meaning."}, {"response": 15, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (13:45)", "body": "ha-ha!! That's how I prefer them too..."}, {"response": 16, "author": "autumn", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (22:12)", "body": "Good one Tim!"}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (15:40)", "body": "Thank you Autumn. It took me a while to figure out what a willie was. I just wasn't familiar with the term. This was just my way of pointing out that, until just recently, the only willie that I knew of, was a whale."}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:28)", "body": "OH! And what do Americans call Willies?"}, {"response": 19, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:28)", "body": "(You can whisper, if you like....)"}, {"response": 20, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (04:51)", "body": "Right now, Americans call Willie, President of the United States."}, {"response": 21, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (04:55)", "body": "Other names for the same thing: wang, dick, turtle, cock, penis. There are others, but that's all I can think of right now."}, {"response": 22, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:50)", "body": "Turtle! ha-ha!!! That's hilarious!!! Like, ejaculation could then also be called, 'spitting turtle syndrome'."}, {"response": 23, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (12:21)", "body": "I suppose it could, but think of the ramifications of, \"snapping turtle\". It gives new meaning to the term, \"quickie\"."}, {"response": 24, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (00:54)", "body": "\ufffdshaking with giggles\ufffd Turtle Power!"}, {"response": 25, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:20)", "body": "A turtle stays hard all the time."}, {"response": 26, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (16:34)", "body": "A turtle sometimes mutates...."}, {"response": 27, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (17:13)", "body": "OOOH a mutated turtle. KINKY!"}, {"response": 28, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:03)", "body": "Yeah! A condom would fit a mutant turtle like a glove, if you catch my drift..."}, {"response": 29, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:13)", "body": "Oh you mean the soft shelled variety. I'm familiar with soft shelled crab, never encountered the other."}, {"response": 30, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "ha-ha! If you were granted a single question to Monica Lewinsky, what would your question be?"}, {"response": 31, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "OOOH BOY!!! You did miss your profession. With a question like that, you should be a talk show host. MY question would be: \"Why did you confide in a woman you hardly knew?\""}, {"response": 32, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (00:55)", "body": "Good question! I think I'd want to know how big Clinton's ding-dong is."}, {"response": 33, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (00:58)", "body": "According to the press, there is any number of women you could ask that question"}, {"response": 34, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:34)", "body": "Yes. But have you noticed how UGLY the bitches are he did it with??? Really, how horney can a person get??? Paula Jones is any teeny's braces nightmare, and Monica Lewinsky's middle name should be Bus. If he had to cheat on his wife, couldn't he at least have done it with women PRETTIER than me?? If my husband ever cheated on me, I would take even greater offense if the bitches were even uglier than me. What a stab in the back that must be!"}, {"response": 35, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:35)", "body": "Yes. But have you noticed how UGLY the bitches are he did it with??? Really, how horney can a person get??? Paula Jones is any teeny's braces nightmare, and Monica Lewinsky's middle name should be Bus. If he had to cheat on his wife, couldn't he at least have done it with women PRETTIER than her?? If my husband ever cheated on me, I would take even greater offense if the bitches were even uglier than me. What a stab in the back that must be!"}, {"response": 36, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:35)", "body": "Riette, lets get this out of the way first: YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!! YOU ARE NOT UGLY!!! I really hate to see you cut yourself down like this. As far as Clinton goes,(and ithink that we can all agree that he goes too far) the operative word is, \" available\", he is just grabbing whatever is around him that can,t run faster than him."}, {"response": 37, "author": "terry", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (22:06)", "body": "Really, Hillary's better looking that all of them except maybe Kathleen Willey and the Little Rock night club singer, what was her name?"}, {"response": 38, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (00:57)", "body": "For some reason, these postings are not showing up."}, {"response": 39, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:00)", "body": "How do you mean?"}, {"response": 40, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:14)", "body": "On my hotlist when the glitch was fixed yesterday, it erased all the postings."}, {"response": 41, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:09)", "body": "Oh no! Computers can be so silly sometimes!"}, {"response": 42, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:19)", "body": "They sure can!!!"}, {"response": 43, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (00:48)", "body": "Your turn."}, {"response": 44, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (10:23)", "body": "It would seem that anyplace on the body is fair game. However, I would shy away from anal sex. because most women don't like it sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 12, "subject": "What makes a great adult web site?", "response_count": 128, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, May  4, 1998 (11:32)", "body": "Lesson 1: www.scoopy.net (as you know)"}, {"response": 2, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, May  8, 1998 (14:24)", "body": "three that I like: http://www.netlabs.net/hp/jimr/art/flash.html http://www.erotic-writing.co.uk/ http://pfmly.com/pfmly/screech/"}, {"response": 3, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (11:12)", "body": "two more: http://www.yoni.com/ http://www.sensualsource.com/"}, {"response": 4, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (21:45)", "body": "the first thing that makes a good adult web site is protecting it from naughty under-age eyes. drop in to www.adultcheck.com"}, {"response": 5, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 18, 1999 (21:52)", "body": "Most likely more than two guys talking to eachother. You start with a black background... http://www.lingam.com/"}, {"response": 6, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 20, 1999 (12:45)", "body": "go on..."}, {"response": 7, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 20, 1999 (22:21)", "body": "I did not think anyone would come her to see what I had written. I shall have to give it some thought - much as you are doing in the corner unobtrusively in 72. I shall think about this, do a little educational research and get back to you."}, {"response": 8, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 20, 1999 (22:45)", "body": "okay!"}, {"response": 9, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, May 22, 1999 (18:55)", "body": "William, we have not heard from you in 72 and we are posting pictures like mad. Go wash your hands and tell the ladies whether you want hot links, thumbs or the full picture (low KB, I know!). I see you have been in the garden a lot. Are you growing crudite's for Gi's shower?"}, {"response": 10, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, May 22, 1999 (23:12)", "body": "I've seen...I can set up a page to put everything on, but I don't want to step on anyone's toes, either...which other conferences do you wander around in?"}, {"response": 11, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 23, 1999 (16:31)", "body": "Let me go and suggest that - or we can move to the Heide aborted-first-try Drool 111 on which there are 3 postings, the lengthiest of which was the cut'n'paste version of a chat which was requested that I put there. You are surely welcome to delete the three postings and rename it. However, we are on 72 which is Odds and Ends...and that is just about what it covers! I have but recently gone away from Drool in Spring to see what else was happening. A plethora of thoughts on just about anything are out there. Of course, I tried sex first (don't we all?!) and was amazed at the clever teasing of riette. Having read all of them - they mysteriously stop about the end of 1998. Do not know why. Almost in mid-thought. Then, upon seeing a mention that riette had gone to arts, so did I. Too intense for me now. I am far too involved in Drool at the moment. I shall read hem all in arts later. I only know of your gardening by who has posted recently, and Wolf is seriously into things that are \"out there\", is he not! I need to read the history and psrticipate - and philosophy...but...time. You do not have a life elsewhere either, do you;) I am getting neglectedly grouchy comments from my SO, thus my hesitancy to take on another board. I am the kind who cannot just lurk. If I am to be there I must participate. To do otherwise I think is dishonest - at least, for me. More later. Lunch and gentleman call!"}, {"response": 12, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, May 23, 1999 (17:00)", "body": "enjoy...and Wolf is a she, btw...see ya later!"}, {"response": 13, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 23, 1999 (17:26)", "body": "BTW, your comment on not wanting to step on any toes was a well-considered. Even some of the most seasoned ladies in Drool are able to throw a fit of high dudgeon on occasion. Springfolks is my least favorite thing to do, however. Gi and I were left to \"manage\" the site while Renate is on Holiday. Lovely, except we have been downgraded to \"moderator\" and stripped of just about any meaningful utility. The mysterious Sergio must be contacted for anything to get done. We can accept or reject a posting hey do not recognize, and subscribe new people, but so can everyone. I do not quite understand how they are running it, but according to Nan, the price was right. Free, I believe. It was to make us free from lurkers for broadcast postings, but there are more malicious lurkers in there than in Drool. But, that is another story and not for these pages."}, {"response": 14, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, May 23, 1999 (18:16)", "body": "sure it is...just change the names to protect the \"innocent\"..."}, {"response": 15, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 23, 1999 (19:50)", "body": "You are amazingly clever. Let's see, we could, for example, mention how nosy a certain Hawaiian resident is - one sees her postings everywhere ! Who does she think she is?! Of course, no one would know of whom we were speaking...=)"}, {"response": 16, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, May 23, 1999 (22:11)", "body": "exactly what I was talking about! and, so that we remain topical, check out: http://www.gwnn.org/"}, {"response": 17, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, May 24, 1999 (15:21)", "body": "Re your URL: Beautiful opening page which makes you wait until it is fully loaded before you know just where you go next. Sorry, but the second page is miserable (humble opinion, of course). I did not go farther...my least favorite thing is to be humilated and hurt. I got enough of that as a little kid with two older sisters and a strict father. However, still on topic...my favorite sites would include a variety of enticing activities - all lavishly and tastefully presented in glowing and non-fuzzy graphics No music please. Pop-ups are bad enough. No, they are the worst. Some spawn windows faster than you can hit the little X in the upper corner to cancel them. Hate that."}, {"response": 18, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, May 24, 1999 (15:39)", "body": "the url was mostly for the opening page...wasn't really judgin' the context...and I agree completely with the pop-ups (well, those on the monitor, at least...)"}, {"response": 19, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 25, 1999 (17:30)", "body": "Indeed! Banners with animated gifs are killers, too. It takes forever before you see anything useful - meanwhile the gifs are too small, so you have to put on 2 pair of glasses to watch them...! (Not that I know anything about these things...)"}, {"response": 20, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, May 25, 1999 (18:52)", "body": "of course not, you're just saying"}, {"response": 21, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, May 25, 1999 (18:54)", "body": "http://www.carolcox.com/pictures/female.html http://www.cateyes.com/"}, {"response": 22, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May 26, 1999 (19:47)", "body": "Pepto-Dismal pink is not my favorite color, and those augmented ladies do notdo much for me....however, in the interest of diversity and fairness, I offer you http://perso.club-internet.fr/tlefebur/sexymen.htm There is not much out there for straight women. Most is for old men with pedophile or gay proclivities. Bummer...!"}, {"response": 23, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 26, 1999 (20:05)", "body": "the background was nice, I liked that rainbow thing it had going on... way too many things on one page for any kind of load speed, though"}, {"response": 24, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May 26, 1999 (20:22)", "body": "I enjoyed the rainbow thing, too, though I still think graphics are set-off best on a dark background. It didn't have too many things on one page...they were not ads, they did not dance around or try to take your money. I though they looked very nice - especially after those pneumatically endowed \"ladies' on the ones you recommended."}, {"response": 25, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 26, 1999 (23:35)", "body": "there was, however, a pop-up...and where in nature are there that many body-hairless, perfectly defined gentlemen without a little help from this or that to enhance their allure?"}, {"response": 26, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (09:42)", "body": "what's the 'this or that' you'd be referring to WER?"}, {"response": 27, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (09:46)", "body": "body-building, shaving, waxing, cosmetic dentistry, etcetera..."}, {"response": 28, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (10:12)", "body": "I'll give you all those EXCEPT body building... anything you work that hard for is yours!"}, {"response": 29, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (12:43)", "body": "and anything you work hard enough for the money for isn't?"}, {"response": 30, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (12:56)", "body": "not in my opinion actually..."}, {"response": 31, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (13:02)", "body": "okay, so there are only two classes of body modifications then, right? 1. artificial/surgical 2. physical manipulation (ie. exercise, binding, stretching, etcetera)"}, {"response": 32, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (15:20)", "body": "does piercing fit into category 1?"}, {"response": 33, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (16:34)", "body": "initially, yes, however enlarging the \"hole\" purposefully would fall into the second (kinda of a touchy categorization, this one)"}, {"response": 34, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (19:29)", "body": "Please somebody check Drool 72 and delete the obscenity"}, {"response": 35, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (19:37)", "body": "Oh, and BTW, you can have those effete mirror-posers. I like the natural man with curly stuff all over him and the way God made him. Yup! But, that was the only straight all-guys page I could find in an hour's search with all of the \"right\" engines. Someone needs to get creative for the other half of the happy couple."}, {"response": 36, "author": "nan", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (20:14)", "body": "I've got it, Marcia. I've deleted the posts but I don't know how much good that'll do. I'll find Terry and Wer..."}, {"response": 37, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 27, 1999 (23:33)", "body": "Thanks dear!!!"}, {"response": 38, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (17:03)", "body": "Question! I do not know where else to enquire. Why are postings on the internal boards inaccessable by the general populace of Spring published where all can see them? It is as though there are mean-spirited people ^up^ there bragging about having access to everything and we can just watch as chosen individuals are allowed entre. Surely this is not the intention, but you are beginning to look like an elitist organization when you do that. Surely there is another way to let those who post in the inner anctum that a new message is there. And, what really makes me wonder, why is \"Life with Riette\" not available for the members? Is she living some sort of sordid life behind the guise of Spring with you guys? Surely not, but that is how you are coming across!"}, {"response": 39, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (17:46)", "body": "may I contemplate some before answering thee? (I hope so, 'cause I'm going to anyway...)"}, {"response": 40, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (17:47)", "body": "Question! I do not know where else to enquire. Why are postings on the internal boards inaccessable by the general populace of Spring published where all can see them? It is as though there are mean-spirited people ^up^ there bragging about having access to everything and we can just watch as chosen individuals are allowed entre. Surely this is not the intention, but you are beginning to look like an elitist organization when you do that. Surely there is another way to let those who post in the inner anctum that a new message is there. And, what really makes me wonder, why is \"Life with Riette\" not available for the members? Is she living some sort of sordid life behind the guise of Spring with you guys? Surely not, but that is how you are coming across!"}, {"response": 41, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (17:50)", "body": "Of course, William, contemplate away. I was baiting you in a way. I think I know the answer, but there must be some out there who wonder what is going on and why they cannot participate. I also do not know how I got a duplicate post with your comment between them...but there are some things I would just rather not know. Thank you for your time and cpmtemplation!"}, {"response": 42, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (21:52)", "body": "Is this background bothering anyone else's eyes?"}, {"response": 43, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (21:53)", "body": "It sort of reminds me of little kid's pajamas. Without the writing on it."}, {"response": 44, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (22:30)", "body": "I've been wondering how long it would take for people to get tired of this background... wonder what I can find this time..."}, {"response": 45, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (23:26)", "body": "Something more uniform...not too dark unless you change the type color - then some people have problems reading it. A muted ivory with texture or embossing of the same color...blue, gray, anything like that. How about a stony texture? Sandstone is good. Nice honey-colored sandstone."}, {"response": 46, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  2, 1999 (23:30)", "body": "I went into the music conference for the first time and found this wallpaper there. I was afraid I had inadvertantly brought it with me. You must have gotten a real bargain with it if you did more than one confrence in it!"}, {"response": 47, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Jun  3, 1999 (08:11)", "body": "now I'm confused...music has a different wallpaper...which one do you see in here? This one should be the same as the one on main..."}, {"response": 48, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun  3, 1999 (20:22)", "body": "The one I see here, and it is here today again, is white background with purple notes and eyes all over it. The yellow one with the sort-of-lemons on it was fine. This is too much."}, {"response": 49, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun  3, 1999 (20:30)", "body": "Make that yellow with ghostly leaves on it on the Main Page. On the Sex Topic All page I find this eyes and notes wallpaper, also. Don't get me wrong. This would make great pajamas. Wallpaper? No! (MHO)"}, {"response": 50, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Jun  4, 1999 (08:08)", "body": "when did the eyes and notes wallpaper start showing up for you in here? or, has it always been in here for you?"}, {"response": 51, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Jun  4, 1999 (14:10)", "body": "It showed up on Tuesday. I think that is the day I went into the music conference to see what was happening. You do not see it? On Drool I see Nan's blue moire silk. Is this wallpaper contageous?"}, {"response": 52, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, Jun  5, 1999 (12:53)", "body": "nope...in here I get the default leaves..."}, {"response": 53, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun  5, 1999 (18:35)", "body": "Oh dear...that is very odd, indeed. I still see the wallpaper looking back at me. Now what do I do to see it through your eyes? I wonder if *anyone* else sees eyes and notes?! Anyhoooo, it does not make good wallpaper for an adult site."}, {"response": 54, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jun  6, 1999 (01:23)", "body": "this is true...try clearing your cache, that might fix it... (although it is going to make the loading slow on your other stuff for awhile...)"}, {"response": 55, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Jun  6, 1999 (15:16)", "body": "Oh, William, it is hopeless. My disk cache and memory cache are emptied each time I close out. If I am busy on the net, I dump it as I go. The eyes are still here. Now I am feeling paranoid about them staring at me like I am some sort of cyber-oddity beyond all hope of redemption. Like one of those surrealistic movies from between-wars Germany which were all allegory and nightmares. Aaaaaaah!"}, {"response": 56, "author": "aschuth", "date": "Sun, Jun  6, 1999 (15:42)", "body": "Somebody called me?"}, {"response": 57, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Jun  7, 1999 (07:42)", "body": "*laugh* and you haven't even seen the eyeball in screwed have you, Marcia?"}, {"response": 58, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jun  7, 1999 (16:44)", "body": "Novice that I am in anything but Drool, I do not even know where to look for said eyeball. Is it something I should avoid? Lest it follow me everywhere like those icons which come with guilty-conscience-causing stares?"}, {"response": 59, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jun  7, 1999 (19:53)", "body": "I get pansies on the garden pages, silk moire on the Drool pages, default leaves on the main pages, but eyeballs on the music and here pages! (I wonder if I mess with it if I can put CF all over it instead???)Not to worry...I would not!"}, {"response": 60, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Jun  7, 1999 (21:03)", "body": "what do you get in art, food, and restaurants? (the background in screwed is clouds in a beautiful blue sky... the said eyeball is at the bottom of the page!)"}, {"response": 61, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Jun  8, 1999 (18:56)", "body": "Screwed, I get the beautiful blue sky w/clouds and the eyeball at the bottom of the page (*that* is where all of those topics went!!!) In Art, I do not have such colorful nightmares, but if I did they would resemble the checkboard art in the upper right with green&red and black&white squares and a guy and his dog (head only for both). Background is vivid colors striped as orange and teal and fuchsic and yellow and green. Restaurants has a mauve background with slightly darker mauve outline drawings of food on plates or whatever they are! Food has wood planking (looks like limed oak). But this place still has eyes and notes! I noted that you and Terry live a very busy cyber-life May I thank you for that!"}, {"response": 62, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Jun  8, 1999 (19:33)", "body": "You're welcome...hmmm, don't know what else to tell you for now... I'll try and find a suitable background for in here and we'll see what happens then!"}, {"response": 63, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Jul 25, 1999 (19:16)", "body": "It has been a very long time since we talked in here. Things have changed (have they ever!)and I now get the planking from food in here because I deleted music from my hot list which got rid of the eyes and notes. Now, I think of eating something when I look in here. Perhaps I should stay on topic and get some nice adult sites for your inventory. Nothing else much going on today...!"}, {"response": 64, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jul 25, 1999 (22:33)", "body": "and once again, the connection between food and sex is made..."}, {"response": 65, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Jul 25, 1999 (22:41)", "body": "I wondered if you would notice that...may I peel you a grape?"}, {"response": 66, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Jul 26, 1999 (20:44)", "body": "as long as grape isn't a colorful euphemism, in which case, no thanks, they don't need to be peeled..."}, {"response": 67, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jul 26, 1999 (20:51)", "body": "No euphemism...was just going to serve them to you in a most interesting way."}, {"response": 68, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Aug 26, 1999 (16:54)", "body": "as to your comment....OUCH! Sorry you declined...it would have been interesting at the very least...*smile*"}, {"response": 69, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Oct  8, 1999 (17:49)", "body": "....Oooh! But, you did not decline...declotege stuffed with grapes for your delectation...*smile*"}, {"response": 70, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (22:09)", "body": "Would anyone like to take up the conversation again about what constitutes a great adult site? I am ready to have a conversation with anyone willing to talk."}, {"response": 71, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (22:18)", "body": "Sure, no problemo."}, {"response": 72, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (22:18)", "body": "Help us fix adultstory.com."}, {"response": 73, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (22:59)", "body": "what does it need?"}, {"response": 74, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (22:59)", "body": "(I know - go and see what it Does need! Sorry...)"}, {"response": 75, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (23:25)", "body": "Ok, I went there and was very interested in the message boards, so I began to read. I get all ready to take notes for future use and suddenly the following links do not work. I cannot summon up the instructional video which might be helpful if I ever need to know what they show. Now I shall never know. That's for beginners..."}, {"response": 76, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (23:34)", "body": "I went the long way around and found the video in question. Are these boards (and we called them 'boards' with threads to distingush them from postings like on The Spring) currently active? I have some really good information to add, but it is not for here..."}, {"response": 77, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (23:52)", "body": "Anyone out there lurking who might like to join me in this little discussion. I think adultstory.com is doing just fine without me. I would much rather discuss those things one-on-one with my lover rather than the population of a discussion board and whomever happens by. Any other suggestions? And you may talk to me now!"}, {"response": 78, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (23:54)", "body": "...it is lonely in here...and I need a hug...and no one here to do it...*sniff*"}, {"response": 79, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (23:59)", "body": "I'll go take a bath and get all clean and soapy and soft. By the time I get back I hope someone else has added a comment...else, I will take my toys and go home...*smile*"}, {"response": 80, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (00:42)", "body": "G'night, Sweetie. *Hugs*"}, {"response": 81, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (08:53)", "body": "It sure needs work, but what?"}, {"response": 82, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (11:51)", "body": "I guess I am not sure what you intend to have in adultstory.com. I thought it would be stories of adult content. Some of what is already there should be considered for adult-check...or is it sufficiently hidden that you think it will not be lurked by the underaged?"}, {"response": 83, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (21:37)", "body": "24 hours have elapsed and I have seriously considered deleting my posts from last night. There is nothing quite so deadly for a topic than someone left to talk to him/herself. I try to keep that from happening everyhere on Spring that I know about. The only way to know how workable or good suggested ideas are is to bounce them off of people. I have gotten no feedback whatever. I gather I am expected to pull my rabbits out of my own hat. Genbtlemen, please help me with your comments...please?!"}, {"response": 84, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (21:46)", "body": "None of the inhouse links work, and the email comes back as undeliverable. No one will talk here. Kill it and me, too."}, {"response": 85, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (21:52)", "body": "Make it easier to find your stories - you have to go to the tiny \"comments' place to find them. Someone real, please talk to me...the page needs to be rearranged, though you prominently feature an offsite favorite of mine - which I do recommend highly."}, {"response": 86, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Mar 28, 2000 (22:22)", "body": "http://www.totse.com/ Is a great looking site like we discussed before. Have not checked the links...."}, {"response": 87, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (03:01)", "body": "OK, so the first step is to make the stories more accessible? Bigger fonts? What else?"}, {"response": 88, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (14:03)", "body": "If you are serious about resdesigning adultstory, let's start with what the surfer sees first. That plum wallpaper is too intense for the little information on it, lacks texture which would break up the intensity a bit, and the electric green writing is great, but not on plum wallpaper. I'll go check and see what else I think might be of help."}, {"response": 89, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (14:09)", "body": "The plum will suffice just fine if you make it about two shades darker....or even more. And, Please work on the Title of the page. Those every-which-way letters do not denote anything but a kiddie's page to me. Wrong message, I think."}, {"response": 90, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (14:23)", "body": "Actually, the entire front page is pretty bad. That banner across the top better be paying you hugs amounts because it is just plain ugly! Perhaps a \"gold\" frame around it might make it more esthetic if it must be up there. I like the red flash behind the www.adultstory.com but the font must go! Yeesh! Another thought...all of those little names and words at the bottom are dark and irritating unless you highlight them. Then they are just plain annoying. What was the point of it? You also need to put a graphic of some sort or a table down the right side for the links...perhaps. But, unless that is your personal magnum opus in the wee italics, lose them!"}, {"response": 91, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (14:24)", "body": "Oh, and the horizontal bars in poetry conference would look fantastic there. I noted that you used none of them - at all. Any particular reason?"}, {"response": 92, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (14:43)", "body": "That site hasn't ever paid one penny."}, {"response": 93, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Mar 29, 2000 (14:52)", "body": "Get rid of it then and find a more enticing graphic to put up there. Btw, all of my comments are merely suggestions. No one died and left me in charge...! I would like some feedback and how-abouts from the other side. Thanks for your comments so far. I think better if I have challenges or what-ifs from another poster."}, {"response": 94, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Mar 30, 2000 (00:26)", "body": "Actually, that plum color is the color of the Alexandrite I am wearing..."}, {"response": 95, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Mar 30, 2000 (00:27)", "body": "Oh...that is under incandescent light. In sunlight it is a lovely tourmaline green and on a cloudy day it is a steely gray...but that is off topic...!"}, {"response": 96, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Mar 30, 2000 (19:04)", "body": "Out to a ballgame tonight, gentlemen... I love you, but you will have to entertain yourselves as best you can. Will you miss me *grin* U"}, {"response": 97, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Apr  1, 2000 (17:22)", "body": "I'm back...Shall I table dance for you or would you like to continue the discussion at hand?! I went into adultstory.com and there was nothing changed. That must mean I have to get that program Terry wants me to use and see what is possible - unless I'm gonna get help? Please?! You would not leave a nice person like me out here to founder unaided, would you?!"}, {"response": 98, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:04)", "body": "A great adult site must first be defined: words and erotica or pictures and porn? Both have something to reccommend them. My favorite adult site is the one that happens when I take a beautiful woman in my arms and forget about the rest of the world. What's yours?"}, {"response": 99, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:13)", "body": "Might I get to partake of your vision some time? It sounds incredible...!"}, {"response": 100, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:20)", "body": "If so, let's not tell the others. They might get jealous."}, {"response": 101, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:21)", "body": "Ok...*sneaking out right behind you*"}, {"response": 102, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:23)", "body": "(wonder where he'd taking me - don't know much about these things...)"}, {"response": 103, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:25)", "body": "Come wis me to ze Casbah, leetle girl. Ah will make you zo 'appy!"}, {"response": 104, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:29)", "body": "* S I G H * .....coming....(running to catch up with this man who promises so much....I am gonna learn stuff tonight!!!)"}, {"response": 105, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:31)", "body": "Is this gonna be show and tell???"}, {"response": 106, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:33)", "body": "You show me yours and I'll tell you how beautiful it is."}, {"response": 107, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:35)", "body": "Don't I get to see yours, too? I am not an exhibitionist, in most cases. I usually am in the background watching the big kids play."}, {"response": 108, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:37)", "body": "You're just gonna look?"}, {"response": 109, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:43)", "body": "At first. Then, playtime begins. You can then play with a wonderful new toy all you want. Then, I'll set up the web cam...."}, {"response": 110, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:45)", "body": "Filming for SpringCam, are you, or did you have something else in mind?"}, {"response": 111, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:53)", "body": "Live action Pay-per-View! Come see the amazing Virgin getting violated by an amazing trouser snake over, and over, and over again! If that doesn't perk up an adult site, nothing will."}, {"response": 112, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (21:56)", "body": "Trouser Snake? *lol* Never heard of that before (Yes, I know I lead a sheltered life.) Sounds fantastic...! Shall we be serving hot stuff, too?"}, {"response": 113, "author": "lance8", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (22:01)", "body": "You."}, {"response": 114, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (22:01)", "body": "Aloha, Lance - it was fun AND educational...*blush*"}, {"response": 115, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (15:05)", "body": "Back on topic...this is a wonderful adult site with a great bunch of links to amazing stuff. http://www.passiononline.co.uk/ Thanks for recommending it, M *grin*"}, {"response": 116, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, Dec  3, 2000 (09:42)", "body": "That is a fun site :-) I think I just found where to buy Christmas presents for certain people..."}, {"response": 117, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Dec  3, 2000 (19:29)", "body": "ok, who is the benefactress (or is that plural) of those stick on nubbins? Nah, we don't need to know....enjoy! Ho ho ho heheheh"}, {"response": 118, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Dec  4, 2000 (00:01)", "body": "*wish I were on his list...*"}, {"response": 119, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Thu, Mar 15, 2001 (19:03)", "body": "Life grows more complicated by the day :-)))"}, {"response": 120, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Fri, Mar 16, 2001 (07:08)", "body": "What do you think of these, Mike? http://www.cleansheets.com/exotica/slowtrains1_02.07.01.shtml"}, {"response": 121, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Fri, Mar 16, 2001 (16:41)", "body": "not too bad...I think i've probably read better, though."}, {"response": 122, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Fri, Mar 16, 2001 (16:41)", "body": "over-use of the word \"Baby\" definitely spoilt it :-)"}, {"response": 123, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 10, 2001 (17:20)", "body": "We need to kick start this one again. Is adultstory.com still on spring? Did those Christmas toys Mike was buying do what he hoped they might? Inquiring minds... get into BIG trouble!"}, {"response": 124, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, May 10, 2001 (21:47)", "body": "Yep, needs reworking. No ideas on Mikes toys."}, {"response": 125, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun 21, 2001 (03:23)", "body": "Maybe if we can get to the photomat andhave a willing exnibitionist with him he can take over adultstory.com and turn it into Mike's Babes and ...well, details and educational bits of him too. Fair is fair! Somehow all I can envision is a lot of silly-cone females with different accents. Sound bites mogh tne nice too. Mike? are you up to it?"}, {"response": 126, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Jan 23, 2004 (19:51)", "body": "This is not OT, but the nature of Spring allows for such events. I need someone to inform me if a seriously depressed PTSD male person can ever regain his sexual appetite. He eats food just fine and gets hungry. But just not for me. Help!!!"}, {"response": 127, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Jan 23, 2004 (19:52)", "body": "(BTW, I never did get the funny cross-problem with wallpaper when I got rid of my old PC.)"}, {"response": 128, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Feb 10, 2004 (21:25)", "body": "I can answer my question and I helped a friend in the process. It is YES! Happily! It just takes time and patience and understanding. Doesn't everything?! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 13, "subject": "Female Ejaculate", "response_count": 134, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (02:05)", "body": "You mean weeing?"}, {"response": 2, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (09:13)", "body": "nope"}, {"response": 3, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (11:11)", "body": "girl cum"}, {"response": 4, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (11:33)", "body": "Really? Perhaps I could get CHRIS pregnant next time."}, {"response": 5, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (11:35)", "body": "lemme know hoe that works... sounds interesting!"}, {"response": 6, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "Yah know, with that extra womb I plan to attach to his stomach - he'll think he's just beginning to get a old guy's belly, and then one day: POP goes the baby!!! I'll have my little boy, and the whole world will be cool!"}, {"response": 7, "author": "wer", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (09:36)", "body": "From: BraceRunr@aol.com Reply-to: thegspotlist@incontinet.com To: thegspotlist@incontinet.com The ureter is not a single-use/single-function organ. It is merely a sluiceway. A conduit. Paraurethrals do exist and can be dissected in autopsy lab. Male and female develop from the same \"bud embryo\", secondarily differentiating. I discern a completely different, nectar-like substance in my ejaculate. I have very strong pubococcygeal complex as marathon runner and sprinter and have been able to have very forceful and copious ejaculations for many years. I am sorry for Madman and believe that he needs to be pointed in the right direction by someone who knows. Either that or take a trip to Uganda where the tribeswomen train their daughters to be \"marriageworthy\" by teaching them to shoot across the room and hit the wall -- with ejaculate in a spontaneous burst, not with a steady stream of urine. The tribespeople have been practicing this for thousands of years, Madman. There really is nothing new under the sun...lol I really enjoy the postings, especially Celine's sensitive nature...Sherryl"}, {"response": 8, "author": "wer", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (10:01)", "body": "see also Dr. Gary Schubach's Bibliography on Female Ejaculation http://www.incontinet.com/articles/art_sex/ejacbib.htm"}, {"response": 9, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (15:31)", "body": "I CAN DO STUFF LIKE THAT?!"}, {"response": 10, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (15:37)", "body": "well, i don't know. that's the question we're all asking!"}, {"response": 11, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (22:51)", "body": "From: BraceRunr@aol.com Reply-to: thegspotlist@incontinet.com To: thegspotlist@incontinet.com Having amazed myself lately with many episodes of F.E., I am here to report my findings...it seems as if the fluid emission amount is directly proportional to my hydration level. if i drink a beer or wine before stimulating myself, the emission volume is low. if i plan ahead and drink plenty of water, the emission is forceful and copious. I have observed it squirting (with the aid of a strategically placed mirror) about five inches high in a brief spurt that is not a stream. it is an explosion. it is an amazing phenomenon and one that i repeat regularly. gives me great satisfaction..tasting it gives me a nectar flavor...it is odorless yet very sweet to the taste and clear...wow what an incredible thing this is...."}, {"response": 12, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (23:29)", "body": "Read behind the lines, she drank a sixpack of Squirt."}, {"response": 13, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Aug 29, 1998 (00:37)", "body": "ha-ha!!!!! I have only four questions: Why is this woman so preoccupied with her woodly-doo? Doesn't she get enough from a MAN?? She has to do it on her own? And why does she EAT the stuff - can't she afford to buy yoghurt? And I've figured out what this femal ejaculate stuff is. It's not a SPURT at all. It's more like a fluid that just sort of drops out all at once when one has an orgasm. It's very pleasant, but sure as hell doesn't hit the wall across the room!"}, {"response": 14, "author": "terry", "date": "Sat, Aug 29, 1998 (17:00)", "body": "What bad aim?"}, {"response": 15, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Aug 30, 1998 (01:20)", "body": "Oh yeah, maybe THAT'S it. Maybe mine just doesn't have that rocketing thrust. And I'm glad it doesn't - 'cos imagine what would happen if it backfired...."}, {"response": 16, "author": "stacey", "date": "Sat, Sep  5, 1998 (01:43)", "body": "...laughing my fu*king ass off Ree-head! Thanks for the visual..."}, {"response": 17, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Sep  5, 1998 (01:56)", "body": "\ufffdhumble grin\ufffd"}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Sep  6, 1998 (02:05)", "body": "Isn't there a song that goes, 'Pop goes the Beaver'?"}, {"response": 19, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Sep  6, 1998 (02:21)", "body": "Leave it to Beaver."}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Sep  6, 1998 (02:33)", "body": "And what about those two cartoons - 'I.R. Beaver' and 'Beaver Juice'?"}, {"response": 21, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Sat, Oct 31, 1998 (16:10)", "body": ""}, {"response": 22, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  1, 1998 (00:28)", "body": "You wanted to say something? No? You're the quiet type? Although, if you don't say anything, how are we supposed to find out about that grey stuff of yours?"}, {"response": 23, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Sun, Nov  1, 1998 (11:24)", "body": ""}, {"response": 24, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Sun, Nov  1, 1998 (11:32)", "body": "Dear Riette, soory. Hope this works. I think if a man can give his woman a FE, he should be very happy. I have experianced FE two times only.First was with a woman i met on a ferry between Denmark and Norway. We had no condoms, so we stimulated each other without having intercouse. Suddenly she squirted so violently it hit the cabin door. i was very scared thinking i had her her.I did no know what it was. Many years later i dated a sex therapist and she explaind and we had a wonderful relationship with many FE. Wonderful tasty sweet liquid onderful smell. The FE was most times achied by stimulating her Clitoris and G-spot. I hope I will experianse it again sometime. Malcolm"}, {"response": 25, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov  2, 1998 (00:58)", "body": "It hit the cabin door?? That's what I call excellent aim! But what does it matter whether it squirts out the door or not? Why so obsessed with technicalities? To me making love is something that makes me forget about the whole worrisome world around me; I don't care what hits the door, and the last thing I worry about is impressing a man with orgasmic canon balls. Where the fluids go isn't something that changes the quality of love-making; it is what goes on between the lovers that makes it great or miserable."}, {"response": 26, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Tue, Nov  3, 1998 (21:20)", "body": ""}, {"response": 27, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Tue, Nov  3, 1998 (21:21)", "body": "try"}, {"response": 28, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Tue, Nov  3, 1998 (21:24)", "body": "Dear Riett walton, i wrote a long answer but it was not accepted. i will submit it in pieces."}, {"response": 29, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Tue, Nov  3, 1998 (21:25)", "body": "i give up"}, {"response": 30, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov  4, 1998 (03:25)", "body": "That's okay - I have a good idea about what that answer might be... It won't change my mind though. I'm no macho woman, and I don't go for macho love-making. It never satisfied me."}, {"response": 31, "author": "autumn", "date": "Wed, Nov  4, 1998 (20:18)", "body": "Malcolm, sorry you're having trouble responding. Has the server been having problems here, guys?"}, {"response": 32, "author": "milwaukee", "date": "Thu, Nov  5, 1998 (11:26)", "body": "While I've read about FE, I've never been lucky enough to be with a woman that experienced it."}, {"response": 33, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Nov  5, 1998 (14:11)", "body": "You any relation to the Thomasson's of Clinton White House and Hollywood fame?"}, {"response": 34, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (03:06)", "body": "Now if I were a man, and knowing what I know, and I had sex with woman, and that woman did the woosh!-spurt!-sploosh! thing, I'd think to myself, '$hit!'"}, {"response": 35, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (08:38)", "body": "Dear Riette, The two women who I had the honor and pleasure to enjo a FE with, both said the FE orgasm is so many times stronger and so much deeper, that they do not want to experiance any other type. it is a great pleasure for a man to give his woman a pleasure many times more pleasureful than she has ever experianced before. The physical phenomenas you you so profanely describe are a result of a wonderful act between a woman and a man. It is not something desired by itself. hearing you elaborate over FE sounds like someone explaining french quisine and has only eaten hamburgers I hope will al my hart that you will once experiance this. malcolm"}, {"response": 36, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (11:20)", "body": "Don't worry, Malcolm, I'll survive - really!"}, {"response": 37, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (11:25)", "body": "You will survive-----But how"}, {"response": 38, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (11:39)", "body": "\ufffdlaugh\ufffd I somehow get the feeling you have a suggestion in mind... I thought about what you said - you know about my being like somebody who eats only hamburgers? I suppose that is a pretty good metaphor. My husband is pretty jealous, so I can't really switch to 'corn-on-the-cob' or 'fried sausage' that easily. Good thing I'm addicted to junkfood, huh? ha-ha! Hey, Malcolm, are you going to come to the other conferences as well? SCREW, might satisfy your verbal needs as FE does your other appetites...."}, {"response": 39, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (11:50)", "body": "Soory my communication is bad. The hamburger was meant allegorically Where is SCREW Stay with the juncfood(\"dribble\") Malcolm"}, {"response": 40, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (11:56)", "body": "ha-ha! Your communication isn't bad at all. If you go to the index of conferences, you'll see that long, long list of conferences. Screw is about the last one on the list. Philosophy is also fun, and Food too. And does that mean you're here to stay?"}, {"response": 41, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (11:59)", "body": "yes I will be here at least until you say\" I missed the door it was wonderful\" Malcom"}, {"response": 42, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (14:57)", "body": "\ufffdlaughing like a nun on a carrot truck\ufffd That's a great response! Are you American, Malcolm?"}, {"response": 43, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (15:26)", "body": "I was born in Sweden came to USA 1979. and have been here ever since. I live in Houston Who are you besides feasting on dribbling hamburgers?"}, {"response": 44, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (16:05)", "body": "Every woman is different, every experience is different. To repeat the same things over and over is boring."}, {"response": 45, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Fri, Nov  6, 1998 (18:53)", "body": "Tim a true polititians answer go for it Dear Riette I should aplogize for falling in the qute trap playing on words I do not \"care\" if you never find a G spot and a FE function. I HAVE experianced it two times . I will always look for a woman who I can experiance a G spot FE with. You cannot advertise a \"food\" noone knows about. (sorry) The ad \" looking for a woman who has FE \" noone would answer. I would marry her in an instant. We would go to work every morning with a wonderful smile and try to both get home early. A dream I know. We all have our dreams. So have I. I thought likr you I know lovemaking as you think you do until I met my sextherapist in Phoinix , who ex[plained all. That was the moment i understand I know nothing. The stage were you are today. (sorry) the comments by women like Sheryl, we men can talk until blue in our face. She loves her FE. (shery I hope you have exlained all for your man so he can enjoy as much as I did.) Malcolm"}, {"response": 46, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (01:05)", "body": "Funny, people always say that politicians bull$hit alot - I become more and more inclined to believe it! I'm surprised that anyone can talk like this while keeping a straight face! My husband is twice my age, a fantastic lover, and though I don't care about G spots, FE functions, and all the other nametags put on female sexuality, I never said I didn't experience orgasm - which I do thoroughly, thank you very much. For us variety is what makes it great - different positions, different locations, differ nt moods. There is just so much more to it than the manner of flow. If you think marital bliss lies in whether a woman can ejaculate like a spitting cobra, then you've got a thing or two coming. No intelligent woman is interested in a man who expects of them to perform like some circus animal every time they get intimate. Leave that to women who are too braindead to be anything but submissive to a man's wishes. Intelligent omen want guys with whom they can be completely at ease, who don't tell them what they should an shouldn't experience, and when, and who can manage ood sex without having to see therapists. Futhermore I ca6n for the life of me not imagine what difference it makes whether the fluids merely descend, or whether they spurt. I also take it that for it to spurt you have to masturbate, rather than have intercourse. I mean, I've not noticed my husband hit the door when he has a climax - but correct me if I'm wrong. And I'd have to say that given the choice between sex and masturbation, I'd always choose sex. I like going all the way with the real thing, rather than be poked at with a finger no t icker than a candy stick - if you catch my drift. I am just rather sorry that there are women as well, who promote this kind of narrow minded attitude towards sex and sexual fulfillment."}, {"response": 47, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (10:30)", "body": "a nun in a carrot truck?"}, {"response": 48, "author": "pmnh", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (12:06)", "body": "lol (yeah wondering that myself... though i'm afraid to ask what it means)... just read through this whole thing... particularly enjoyed 'orgasmic cannonballs'... ('woosh!-spurt!-sploosh!') never been to this conference before... um yeah.. (riette, you're amazing) (oh, and i think what you said, you know, the last thing, summed it up really well... very cool)"}, {"response": 49, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (15:32)", "body": "Thank you, Nick - that's really nice, coming from you. 'Laughing like a nun on a carrot truck' is an Afrikaans saying, going, 'Ek het gelag soos 'n non op 'n worteltrok.' That's the one thing I love about it - it's such a graphic, earthy language. You can say precisely what you mean. Sometimes I can't resist translating it into English, because 'Laughing one's ar$e off' just doesn't describe the way a woman laughs when hilarity strikes."}, {"response": 50, "author": "autumn", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (16:27)", "body": "Idioms are fun!"}, {"response": 51, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (20:56)", "body": "why thanks! oh, i thought you said \"Idiots are fun!\" and, yes, riette is amazing."}, {"response": 52, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (22:02)", "body": "I'm glad the lights were off the only ever time I made a girl quirt, because the look on my face would have been hilarious! Kind of light: wuarrhhhhhhhhhh?!!!!!!! Guys: terrific - make her do it , it's a superb ego boost :-)"}, {"response": 53, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (00:40)", "body": "Now, correct me if I'm wrong here. I am quite willing to admit that girls are indeed able to squirt. But if squirting happens so rarely among girls, what does that tell us about guys? I mean, I've not yet met a woman who was NOT able to make a guy squirt. So why is it that guys rarely make girls squirt? Could it be that guys simply don't have the same kind of BALLS for making love than girls have? Just stating the facts here. And I know every guy on the spring is now going to claim to be able to do it, so don't even try that one! I got you now!"}, {"response": 54, "author": "Malcolm", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (00:48)", "body": "Dear Riette, sorry for having upset you. I will keep my wonderful experianses for my self. It does not do any good telling about them, they only get twisted. I will from now on only try to find a woman who has experianced FE before and ejoyed it. Rather trying to convinde a woman who has not. \"Every one is happy in her/his way\" a Swedish saying. I will not leave I will stay on but not battle with you, we do not argue in the same plane. I will find my woman and you will be happy with your man Malcolm"}, {"response": 55, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "We do not argue in the same plane? From a person who cannot spell simple words correctly, that sounds a pretty hilarious statement to me."}, {"response": 56, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:57)", "body": "Come on you guys. You both have fascinating viewpoints and I'm enjoying both your commentaries."}, {"response": 57, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:02)", "body": "I don't mind a different point of view. I mind being patronized."}, {"response": 58, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:08)", "body": "OK then maybe there can be a different tone issue from this."}, {"response": 59, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:14)", "body": "Oh well, I don't really care. I've said all I have to say."}, {"response": 60, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (11:07)", "body": "OK Ree, what else is going on?"}, {"response": 61, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (00:40)", "body": "Nothing else. Don't worry, I don't suffer from FE trauma!! But here's my thing. I don't see the point in a discussion where people claim to be arguing on 'a different plane' when they can't come up with a better argument than sheer egotism."}, {"response": 62, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (03:19)", "body": "Well, I must admit, FE trauma sounds interesting. Why do we have to make each other respond? Isn't the response voluntary? Are we trying to say, that, if the man fails to ejaculate, then it's the woman's fault?"}, {"response": 63, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (10:43)", "body": "What you're saying makes sense to me. Response is voluntary, and I'm tired of talking about FE now. Male ejaculations is much more interesting anyway! No, I don't think it's either the man or the woman's fault if he fails to ejaculate. He's probably just having a bad day, or tired."}, {"response": 64, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (03:21)", "body": "That is exactly what I meant."}, {"response": 65, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (13:52)", "body": "But giving a 'good performance' seems to be a big deal amongst males. Why is that do you think? Primal instinct, some sort of insecurity or a macho-thing?"}, {"response": 66, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (22:32)", "body": "Aren't those three the same thing, Ree? (And, no, I have never \"helped\" any of my partners squirt...*frown*)"}, {"response": 67, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (03:41)", "body": "\ufffdsmile\ufffd (Thank God for that!! It sounds so sleazy to me.) Are they the same things? I can't judge, since I'm not a man. You'll have to explain..."}, {"response": 68, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (14:03)", "body": "I think that both insecurity and macho are a part of primal instinct. i also think that females experience both insecurity and macho, although to a lesser extent than males do. furthermore, it's been my experience, that when a woman is not allowed to express her macho side, she becomes very insecure."}, {"response": 69, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:29)", "body": "Just like me! Insecurity oozes from my every hole...."}, {"response": 70, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (04:59)", "body": "If you\"re insecure, then we're all basket cases."}, {"response": 71, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:26)", "body": "ha-ha! Then you're a basket case every once in a while."}, {"response": 72, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (06:04)", "body": "That's true."}, {"response": 73, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:51)", "body": "Of me too. The insecurity bit, I mean. Of course I'm NEVER a basket case...."}, {"response": 74, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (12:29)", "body": "Of course... You've got it all together. It's just that sometimes you forget where you put it. Right? Seriously though, sometimes I am a basket case. Although not very often, in fact, very seldom, and I have wonderful friends that I can turn to when this happens."}, {"response": 75, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (00:57)", "body": "So do I - except I don't. Which is a real pain, because then I (STOOPID) start feeling lonely and unloved, and lock myself away for weeks on end. Not that I'm a basket case or anything.... Feel free to lecture!"}, {"response": 76, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:25)", "body": "Why don't you go to your friends when you are feeling down? They are the ones who understand you best. My friends sometimes understand me better than I do."}, {"response": 77, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:26)", "body": "also no feelings are ever stupid. If that is how you feel, then that is how it is. It is reality to you."}, {"response": 78, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:55)", "body": "And the reality of it is that I just can't seem to cope with admitting it when I feel bad. The worse I feel, the more I joke around my friends. Then I do the retreat thing instead, because my weaknesses make me very nervous."}, {"response": 79, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (03:24)", "body": "Are you German? My grandparents were exactly the same way. My father's father was diagnosed with in operable cancer. The doctor told him he had three months to live, he went on doing things as before until he could not get up any more. then he told someone. Five days later, he was dead. Trust your friends. Allowing them to help is good for everybody. You and them both."}, {"response": 80, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (16:37)", "body": "ha-ha, NO! But my father is a rightwing Afrikaner - does that explain anything??? I know it is good to allow people to help - I just feel stupid asking. I can't just go up to someone and say, ahem, sorry to bother you, deary, but I feel like $hit. Know what I mean?"}, {"response": 81, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (17:25)", "body": "I did not think about you being Afrikaner. Yes that explains a lot. I can tell my friends exactly how I feel when I'm down, and they are supportive. I don't know how your friends would take that, specially if they come from the same background as you. But you can come here, and tell how you feel when you are down, and I will be supportive. I am reasonably sure the others will be also."}, {"response": 82, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:07)", "body": "I know, and they are, and the fact that one doesn't have to look them in the eye when telling them, helps a heck of a lot. I'm afraid my last contact with an old AFrikaner school acquaintance occurred three years ago. I ran into him on the street, and we were immediately invited to a barbecue. Good fun, we thought, and went. And fun it was, until this guy and my husband started talking politics. And at one point this guy says: 'Oh, sure I hate the Kaffirs, but actually I'm pretty liberal.' !!!!! At which point we were overtaken by hysterical fits of laughter, and were thrown out!"}, {"response": 83, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:18)", "body": "Good one!! We had a TV show on in the 70's where the main character kept putting his foot in it like that. It was called: \"All In The Family\", and the name of the bigot was Archie Bunker. Still, it's much more funny in real life."}, {"response": 84, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (02:17)", "body": "You can say that again! Especially as the guy didn't for one second consider what he had said - he truly, truly believed it!"}, {"response": 85, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (02:57)", "body": "That is just like the character \"ARCHIE BUNKER\", they still play reruns of that show. when you come over here you'll have to watch at least one episode."}, {"response": 86, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "I will - tape an episode, and keep the crisps and coke ready."}, {"response": 87, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "O K..... I will do that. In fact I'll do one better..I'll tape several episodes and box a synopsis with each, so you can decide which you want to watch."}, {"response": 88, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (02:29)", "body": "I'm not good at making decisions like that! We'd have to stay up all night, and watch the whole bunch. Which means we'll have to go shopping for LOTS of things to eat beforehand...."}, {"response": 89, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (02:58)", "body": "Not a problem, several restaraunts in the area deliver. and that Thai place is right around the corner for carryout."}, {"response": 90, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (08:12)", "body": "Oh, cool!!! Then a Thay&Archie night it will be!!!"}, {"response": 91, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (08:19)", "body": "\"All in the Family\" (the show with Archie BUnker) is probably my all time favorite tv show. they replay it nightly on a cable network called \"Nick at Night\" here in the states, riette. you might want to see if you could catch it off of someone's cable or dish where you live!"}, {"response": 92, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (10:34)", "body": "Looking forward to it, Riette, Maybe by then We'll have another microwave and we can make popcorn also."}, {"response": 93, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (00:59)", "body": "I LOVE popcorn! Can you make coloured popcorn? I like orange popcorn. But I'm not picky - white will be fine too; with lots and lots of butter. And comfy pillows! No, no, I promise I won't get arrogant in a strange man's house! Really! And, Tim, what would it take from me to get you to take me for a ride in your little vehicle?...the truck, that is. Ray, we're thinking about getting a dish - you think the Archie argument will help me do the final convincing of the old man?"}, {"response": 94, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:08)", "body": "I can make orange popcorn. I was just thinking tonight that you might like to ride along to the restaraunt to pick- up the thai food."}, {"response": 95, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (11:54)", "body": "i think you should definitely get a dish. we just got one and it is a lot of fun!"}, {"response": 96, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:37)", "body": "Then I must too. But how will I convince the old man??? You CAN, Tim??? And we're really going to go in your truck to buy thai food in the next State? I can't WAIT!!"}, {"response": 97, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:37)", "body": "All right then, It's set. Just let me know which state you want to go to, I'll make some orange popcorn and we'll head out. Actually, I had intended to just go around the block, but if you want to go to the next state, or any state on the continent, I'm game."}, {"response": 98, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:00)", "body": "Actually, I really kind of miss the open road. The only thing I don't miss is the separation from my friends."}, {"response": 99, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:03)", "body": "No, I was just kidding! But if you feel the urge to travel a few hundred miles, I'm game too! But I'll probably only be able to come for a week, so I guess we can't go see Mexico?"}, {"response": 100, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "Want to bet? Laredo is only a little over 3 hrs away."}, {"response": 101, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "Mexico is closer to us than New Mexico, and about the same distance as Oklahoma. I'm game if you are."}, {"response": 102, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:11)", "body": "YES!!! MORE than game - I can't wait!! In your big truck??? Going to take my camera, and my sunhat, and off we go, into the blazing desert! My sister is going to be so jealous!"}, {"response": 103, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:21)", "body": "It will be fun. Riette. I can hardly wait myself."}, {"response": 104, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (00:49)", "body": "honk honk!!! Ice Ice Baby!"}, {"response": 105, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:01)", "body": "Off we go into the wild blue yon........... OOPS!!! wrong song."}, {"response": 106, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:24)", "body": "ha-ha! But I know what you mean! Cool cool cool!"}, {"response": 107, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (07:55)", "body": "Yeah, Riette, It's definitely the same feeling. Even now, I can hardly wait. Up until I started talking to you, the only desert rats I knew were male. This WILL be interesting."}, {"response": 108, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (10:52)", "body": "And I've never met ANYONE who liked being in the desert. And it's one of my favourite things in the world! It's going to be totally unreal being with someone who loves it too."}, {"response": 109, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:37)", "body": "Riette, when I was in the military, I spent 3 years with 175 guys that felt like I do about the desert. You are the first woman I have ever seen, who even remotely,likes the desert."}, {"response": 110, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:10)", "body": "How strange! But it's good to know there ARE people who like it; I sometimes think I AM as crazy as they say!"}, {"response": 111, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (14:10)", "body": "No, Riette, you are not crazy!! People that don't like the desert are just ignorant. They have never taken the time to get to know it."}, {"response": 112, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:10)", "body": "Well, I guess it is harder to get used to than the more obviously pretty places."}, {"response": 113, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:16)", "body": "Riette, It takes understanding. An obviously pretty place doesn't."}, {"response": 114, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:24)", "body": "Yes, that's probably it. I never thought of it that way. I grew up that way, and so I never thought of 'understanding' it. But I think that must be up. One usually understands the things you grow up with quite automatically, and naturally. Now I also know why the greenness over here makes me feel suffocated sometimes. Perhaps I just don't understand it well enough yet."}, {"response": 115, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:38)", "body": "Riette, It's the sameness of it that bothers you, It's always green and never changes."}, {"response": 116, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:47)", "body": "Yes, never! When you sleep in the desert, and there's a wind, you wake up in a brand new landscape the next morning! And the colours and patterns change all the time as the sun rises and sets - that doesn't happen here!"}, {"response": 117, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:54)", "body": "Well, Riette, You wanted to know what it was that bothered you. It's just boring."}, {"response": 118, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:49)", "body": "It's just boring. Right now nothing is boring anymore."}, {"response": 119, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:55)", "body": "Riette, that's just great. I'm glad."}, {"response": 120, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:20)", "body": "ME TOO! Are you having snow over there too? Here it looks rather magical outside. Everything is covered in thick layers of snow. That means only one thing: tomorrow the girls and me are going sledging!!!!"}, {"response": 121, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "Riette, It's 28C here. a bit warm for snow right now. It would be nice to get some later."}, {"response": 122, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "Does Austin GET snow during winter?"}, {"response": 123, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "Only about every 3 or 4 years or so Riette."}, {"response": 124, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:09)", "body": "I like snow, but I prefer places where it doesn't snow. It's so slippery! And then, when the cars drive over it, it turns to black slush - not aesthetic at all!"}, {"response": 125, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (10:32)", "body": "I suspect that what ever may happen during sex, it ought to be discussed before it happens. Because certain surprises may adversly impact on sex, It would be a good idea to discuss things first"}, {"response": 126, "author": "gene", "date": "Tue, Jan 12, 1999 (22:33)", "body": "I and my partner have experienced this \"phenomenon\" just two or three times, and I have no clue how to trigger it. It is a delightful experience to feel the sudden rush of fluids wetting her, me and the bed. I also had this experience a handful of times with my previous partner. Before that never, ever, and did not even have a clue FE existed for many years. Every woman is very different and unique in her own way, and extremelly high levels of pleasure can be reached without having to experience FE. For example, if you rearly come at the same time as your partner, when that happens it is a joyful occasion, but it would be detrimental to aim for that all the time, as it is likely to cause frustration. There are women that can come continuously the whole time you are making love, other women come a few times, and there are others that tend to come once, just like a man."}, {"response": 127, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Jan 12, 1999 (22:39)", "body": "that should read, \"..., just like most men.\" Welcome, Gene!"}, {"response": 128, "author": "PT", "date": "Wed, Jan 13, 1999 (14:46)", "body": "I'll agree with that."}, {"response": 129, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Jan 13, 1999 (18:12)", "body": "just as long as you get to watch, right?"}, {"response": 130, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (03:57)", "body": "\ufffdburst of giggles\ufffd"}, {"response": 131, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (16:33)", "body": "Whether or not."}, {"response": 132, "author": "a9503128", "date": "Sat, Dec 23, 2000 (10:59)", "body": "HI all im new to this site the topics are cool and open my eyes to sex ie more that just doing it one hole and a few positions reply to me via e mail if you are UK based"}, {"response": 133, "author": "a9503128", "date": "Sat, Dec 23, 2000 (11:00)", "body": "and i must say the Female shouting her muck is a must see for me"}, {"response": 134, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Dec 23, 2000 (13:39)", "body": "You may have to go further afield then England! Good luck, Alex! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 14, "subject": "The other spot", "response_count": 67, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Sep  3, 1998 (01:03)", "body": "(oops, typo above, should say thegspotlist...) Date: 98-09-01 18:27:22 EDT From: hwalker@total.net (hwalker) Reply-to: thegspotlist@incontinet.com To: thegspotlist@incontinet.com Hello all, My girlfriend and I have recently (3 months ago) discovered another spot. Let me give you some background: We've been together for almost 5 years. We discovered her G-spot over 4 years ago and she has been able to FE easily since then. What we've discovered lately is a new spot way up past her G-spot, where her uterus meets her vaginal wall. Can you say push-button orgasm? Wow! I stimulate the spot with one finger and she has an instantaneous orgasm! She does not FE but she is totally spent and weak in the knees! Has anyone else experienced this? H"}, {"response": 2, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Sep  3, 1998 (01:12)", "body": "Date: 98-09-02 10:46:47 EDT From: jlmiller33@hotmail.com (Jim Miller) Reply-to: thegspotlist@incontinet.com To: thegspotlist@incontinet.com In a message dated: Tue, 01 Sep 1998 18:04:23 hwalker (hwalker@total.net) stated, -My girlfriend and I have recently (3 months ago) discovered another -spot. Let me give you some background: We've been together for almost -5 years. We discovered her G-spot over 4 years ago and she has been -able to FE easily since then. What we've discovered lately is a new -spot way up past her G-spot, where her uterus meets her vaginal wall. -Can you say push-button orgasm? Wow! I stimulate the spot with one -finger and she has an instantaneous orgasm! She does not FE but she is -totally spent and weak in the knees! Has anyone else experienced this? H, Can you elaborate as to the location of this spot? I suspect 'where her uterus meets her vaginal wall', would be the cervix, but is this spot on the top, bottom, sides or straight on? Some more description would help us in our efforts to provide our ladies with the pleasure they so richly deserve! Thanks for the post. Jim"}, {"response": 3, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Sep  3, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "Date: 98-09-02 14:33:14 EDT From: DryDoc@ibm.net (John D. Perry, PhD) Reply-to: thegspotlist@incontinet.com To: thegspotlist@incontinet.com hwalker had written: - -What we've discovered lately is a new - -spot way up past her G-spot, where her uterus - -meets her vaginal wall. - -Can you say push-button orgasm? And Jim comments: - I suspect 'where her - uterus meets her vaginal wall', would be the - cervix, but is this spot on - the top, bottom, sides or straight on? As Jim notes, the uterus protrudes into the vagina anywhere from 1/2 to 1 inch, and that portion of the uterus is called the cervix. Traditionally women have had very diverse reactions to \"cervical bumping\", ranging from extreme pleasure to extreme pain. It sounds like your wife is at the happy end of that continuum. I hope you will continue to explore this and share your experiences with the list. The G Spot (1982) ended a 40 year fad among sexologist who thought the vagina was worthless as a source of pleasure. Any new information would be helpful. John D. Perry"}, {"response": 4, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Sep  3, 1998 (02:09)", "body": "She's either faking it, or she's an elevator! I don't believe in G-spots. I would find it so humiliating! I don't need some silly button-pressing in order to come like some sort of cappucino maker - it is the way he makes love to me overall that brings on an orgasm."}, {"response": 5, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (22:14)", "body": "I've experienced what |I would guess to be the \"g-spot\" with two different girls - certainly made them come very strongly."}, {"response": 6, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (00:51)", "body": "Either you come or you don't come. G-spot doesn't make a difference, I don't think. Sometimes I come alot stronger than other times, for instance when Chris has been away for a few days, and I haven't had it for a few days, because of my own desire or mood - guys are so desperate to flatter their fragile egos that a girl comes in one way or another because of what THEY do. It never occurs to them that girls are largely responsible for their own sexual behaviour. We girls are so secure about our abili y to give guys a good time, that we don't need that, you see. I think the reason why guys are so insecure is that they can't SEE a woman's turn-on unless they look VERY closely. You can't kiss a woman and feel her get a hard-on. So you worry about whether she's faking desire or not, and that's why you look for special spots or whatever. Fact is, sometimes when you hit that 'G-spot', you'll merely have hit a girl who can fake particularly well. And at others when you feel she's too quiet or not satisfi d enough, she'll have had the greatest orgasm imaginable. For me that's the brilliant thing about being female - guys will never REALLY be able to figure us out. I mean, there is no way a guy can fake it, but with a girl you JUST DON'T KNOW. That's what power is all about. HA-HA, so there!"}, {"response": 7, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:59)", "body": "You haven't heard of fake erections?"}, {"response": 8, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:03)", "body": "NO! Only viagra."}, {"response": 9, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:09)", "body": "See, then you don't know all then."}, {"response": 10, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:16)", "body": "And how, may I ask, does a guy fake an erection? Some women CAN tell the difference between flesh and cucumber, you know."}, {"response": 11, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (11:08)", "body": "It's a secret."}, {"response": 12, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (00:41)", "body": "ha-ha! For a minute there I thought you were being serious!"}, {"response": 13, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (03:32)", "body": "Actually, I've heard of it being done, although I've never done it myself. I know how it's done."}, {"response": 14, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (10:45)", "body": "You're $hitting me, you two, and I know it! You can't fake an erection, I'm sure of it! Or can you?"}, {"response": 15, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (03:39)", "body": "I just told you that it could be done. Use your imagination. it won't be too difficult to figure out how."}, {"response": 16, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (13:54)", "body": "It IS too difficult for me! I've been lying awake, wondering how, but I haven't a clue. Come on, Tim, tell me, will you? And I hope we're talking a faked erection on a NAKED willy here. I know it's easy to stuff a polony down one's pants - I can fake an erection like that too!!"}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (15:28)", "body": "All right. Look at the mechanics of what causes the erection physically to occur. By either shorting the circulatory loop or the neural pathways, an erection can be faked. Like I said before, I know how to do both, but have never done either. There are rather unpleasant side effects."}, {"response": 18, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (15:32)", "body": "Haven't you ever heard of priapism? This is a medical term for a fake erection, oof a type that I would not even consider."}, {"response": 19, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (00:11)", "body": "How are we defining fake?"}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:32)", "body": "Sounds to me like you bind a piece of elastic tightly around the willie, thereby blocking blood flow in one direction. BUT: do flesh coloured elastic bands exist? Because I think I'd probably notice a green one..."}, {"response": 21, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:33)", "body": "Oh, and tell us the gory bits about the side-effects! You know, the bit where brain damage occurs, and all that!"}, {"response": 22, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:02)", "body": "Most of the elastic bands sold in this country are flesh colored."}, {"response": 23, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:05)", "body": "As far as side effects go: Binding up a certain part of the anatomy is how a bull becomes a steer. The affected organs shrivel up and drop off."}, {"response": 24, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:52)", "body": "With some men that IS the equivalent of an erection...."}, {"response": 25, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (12:41)", "body": "How awful! Not so much that they have no erection. Everything has to go sometime. But, what a terrible thing to inflict on your partner. How inconsiderate. For a man, in that condition, to even attempt sex, shows a complete lack of concern about his partner's feelings."}, {"response": 26, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (00:59)", "body": "Yes, the dick(less)head!"}, {"response": 27, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:30)", "body": "Dick(less)head! What a concept. I think you may have something there. Perhaps a title for an adult film."}, {"response": 28, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (16:42)", "body": "Yeah, for someone who is determined NOT to make any money! ha-ha! Look away! My husband is staring over my shoulder....ffffffrowning(!!!) that frown that gives him so many wrinkles. HA-HA!!! No, you don't have many wrinkles yet, darling - just when you do that nasty frowning thing! He says I should stop flirting with the boys, and come to bed!! BAAAAAHHH - now he's tickling stop - I must go now. See you tomorrow, Tim - have a good day!"}, {"response": 29, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (17:36)", "body": "When you read this, It'll be tomorrow, but, sweet dreams, anyway, Riette. I still think that the film title, \"Dick(less)head\", would sell. Think about it. It's an anatomical impossibility. People would buy the film just to see what it was about."}, {"response": 30, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (21:38)", "body": "'Tis true..."}, {"response": 31, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:09)", "body": "So, shall we do it?? We can film it when we have the spring party. And the big question: who gets to play the hero???"}, {"response": 32, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:23)", "body": "There is someone signing on here, in one of the conferences, with the login, \"Don Quixote\". Poetic justice. Don't you think?"}, {"response": 33, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:31)", "body": "That or wistful thinking...."}, {"response": 34, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:36)", "body": "What I meant was, he would be the perfect choice for the leading role. With a name like that, it'd be perfect."}, {"response": 35, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:01)", "body": "OH! Yes! Sorry, I'm a bit slow at times. Yes! ha-ha! With a name like that, he'd have to have four rotating arms though...."}, {"response": 36, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "Or that could be the reason he's dickless."}, {"response": 37, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:39)", "body": "\ufffdSHAKING with hilarity!!!\ufffd chop-chop-chop!!!! ha-ha, It's too funny to bear!!!"}, {"response": 38, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:39)", "body": "Actually, it's chop-chop-chop-chop. Four blades, remember? Little donny boy with his pole removed. I believe that will cure him of jousting with windmills Or, do you think that it'll piss him off, and make him redouble his efforts?"}, {"response": 39, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:04)", "body": "Of course, if he's going after windmills, he'll be headed for california. there are thousands of them there."}, {"response": 40, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:06)", "body": "HOLLAND, more likely! I only made chop chop chop, because I thought he might have the sense to run off after having two balls and his turtle chopped off by the first three...."}, {"response": 41, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "Somehow Don Quixote and sense, seem to be mutually exclusive ideas."}, {"response": 42, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:14)", "body": "Yes, if having those bits cut off by a windmill can't knock some sense into the poor bugger, nothing will! So, let's see what we've come up with - this IS for our blockbuster film, remember? A dick(less)head minus two balls and a turtle, named Don Quixote. I think we're defenitely on the right track here..."}, {"response": 43, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:23)", "body": "Definitely sounds like academy award stuff to me. Now, we need to come up with a couple of adventures for him."}, {"response": 44, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (00:51)", "body": "I vote for a transplant!"}, {"response": 45, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:02)", "body": "Yeah, we could use the tool from his donkey. Then his donkey really would be sore!"}, {"response": 46, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:25)", "body": "ha-ha!!! And really pi$$ed off! But he'd be taken care of for life by beautiful jail babes, I'm sure!"}, {"response": 47, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (07:59)", "body": "Donkey Heaven?? I'm not sure where he'd be getting the jail babes from, Riette. But the idea is sound. Except, I don't think that they would be imterested in him minus the equipment."}, {"response": 48, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (10:54)", "body": "Oh, I never thought of that. They never got to cut it off themselves, did they?"}, {"response": 49, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:39)", "body": "Riette, that is an interesting concept. Talk about a prison riot!!!"}, {"response": 50, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:11)", "body": "ha-ha!!!! Shh! My kids are sleeping - I don't want to wake them! Snip Snip!"}, {"response": 51, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (14:14)", "body": "HA! HAA! HA! HA! Riette, Shhh, Snip! Snip! Indeed! What's this? Be quiet while You do your Lorena Bobbit imitation?"}, {"response": 52, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:11)", "body": "Lorena Bobbit??? I never do that alone!"}, {"response": 53, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:18)", "body": "Riette, It's difficult to do a solo lorena bobbit."}, {"response": 54, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:25)", "body": "Because what does it involve?"}, {"response": 55, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:40)", "body": "Riette, Lorena Bobbit chopped off her husband's penis with a kitchen knife."}, {"response": 56, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:48)", "body": "Hey ho, ho hey!!! No wonder her surname is 'Bob's Bit'!!"}, {"response": 57, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:56)", "body": "Good one, Riette, I thought I'd heard everything out of this, but I never heard that."}, {"response": 58, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:50)", "body": "Aren't there any awards one can win for that??"}, {"response": 59, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:56)", "body": "Undoubtedly Riette, I'll look them up and arrange a presentation."}, {"response": 60, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:21)", "body": "What's the prize? An underwater hairdryer? An egg beater?"}, {"response": 61, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:28)", "body": "Hey Riette, I like the concept of the underwater hair dryer. Good choice!"}, {"response": 62, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:28)", "body": "I know - I'm known for my practical talents. One could say I'm practically talented!"}, {"response": 63, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:28)", "body": "Very talented, Riette, and Pretty too."}, {"response": 64, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:10)", "body": "All this flattery! Okay, okay, of course I'll sleep with you, Tim!"}, {"response": 65, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (10:41)", "body": "I think that, in order to really exite a woman, you have to start by asking the woman what it is that excites her. First do that, then experiment and see what else may do the trick."}, {"response": 66, "author": "MrBombastic", "date": "Tue, Nov  6, 2001 (01:41)", "body": "I disagree. it depends on ur ability 2 be sensitive 2 a womans response, not how loud she screams or how fast she thrusts her hips its just something special u can feel & know its right. i blame movies 4 this confusion. a sensitive guy can tell if a woman fakes an orgasm (im sure a woman can tell if another girl fakes it). but it works both ways,i can also fake it, ha-ha! ps. if a woman feels she has 2 fake it shes in the relationship 4 the wrong reasons."}, {"response": 67, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Dec  5, 2001 (18:20)", "body": "Ah for a real man in real life to be so sensitive. I thought you were an extinct species, Dude! Aloha! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 15, "subject": "Oral Sex - girls and boys", "response_count": 85, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (00:58)", "body": "Best time (one of): On an african Safari two years ago when Chris faked sunstroke, and the guide left us behind in the bush while the others walked up-river to find some zebras. The minute he was gone, Chirs seduced me in the back of the truck. I love it when he does those tricks, and the best thing is, he ALWAYS catches me unawares - I never ever expect it, so that's a real turn-on. Worst time: One night stands used to make me miserable."}, {"response": 2, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (03:56)", "body": "Actually, I've never had a bad experience with oral sex, either giving or receiving."}, {"response": 3, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (13:56)", "body": "Why is that?"}, {"response": 4, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (13:57)", "body": "Oh damn, I'm way off the track! I forgot we're talking about oral sex - sorry! Yes, oral sex is fun. I find it hard to stick to that though. It's nice as foreplay, but then I really want to go all the way."}, {"response": 5, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (14:11)", "body": "So, who said that you had to stick to oral sex? It is just a part of the great variety of sexual expression. Sticking to any one item is not only boring,but can make you sore. you also ought try oral sex as part of afterplay."}, {"response": 6, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:36)", "body": "Why thank you, doctor Freud. Sometimes one isn't in a location to take oral sex further than just that, is what I meant. That's when I find it very akward, because you can't just mount your man when you reach that level of excitement."}, {"response": 7, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:06)", "body": "Why not?"}, {"response": 8, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:07)", "body": ""}, {"response": 9, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:54)", "body": "Because you might be in a place where it just isn't possible, and you need to be able to get your clothes back together very quickly."}, {"response": 10, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (12:55)", "body": "I've never been in a place where it wasn't possible. Difficult, yes, but not impossible. Let me rephrase that. I've never started something that I wasn't in a position to finish. Anything worth doing, is worth doing well. don't misunderstand, I'm not talking about not being spontaneous. Just think things out a bit first, and by first, I don't mean right before starting to do something. I mean a little bit of prior planning can pay dividends. I have had sex in some unusual places, spontaneously. Allowin for the need for a place beforehand meant planning locations where it could happen, if the mood was right."}, {"response": 11, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (13:09)", "body": "Just because I know you will ask. Some examples: on the main staircase of the Hilton hotel in OK City; in a creekbed under a highway bridge; in several cemetaries; on top of the Minolta tower at Niagra Falls; in a creek next to the highway; in the median of Interstate 10, five miles out of Lake Charles, LA, (in a traffic jam at night, during a hazardous chemical spill); in a church choir loft during the service."}, {"response": 12, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:04)", "body": "All of those sound great, except for the cemetary thing! Boy! I would feel like I'm being watched all the time! Oh, and how does one do it on a staircase, and how do you sort of plan that? An embarrassing one for me was once when we did it on a train to Germany, and forgot to lock the door of our compartment. Then the ticket guy came...."}, {"response": 13, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:40)", "body": "The staircase has very thick carpet, and wide treads, and, it was 2am. The staircase was a viable choice and it was available and we were there. Cemetaries around here tend to be well off the beaten path. What did you do about the ticket guy? Did you look him straight in the face and say, \"Do you mind?\"?"}, {"response": 14, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:14)", "body": "I was too busy cumming... ha-ha, NO!!! I was shocked to spasms! But my husband (then oldmanfriend) remained quite unfazed, reached for the ticket on the little table, gave them to the ticket guy (not letting any of it interrupt his motions), took them again, and reminded him to close the door properly behind him! When it was over, I laughed myself to bits! Only then did this thought enter the old pumpkin: HE's USED TO THIS SORT OF THING! But he wasn't - or so he said. He said, 'Baby, at my age nothing is worth getting a heart attack over ' (And he was only 45 at the time!)"}, {"response": 15, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "I agree with his reasoning, besides think of the poor ticket guy. He had to go into the next compartment with a straight face, and go about his buisiness."}, {"response": 16, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:33)", "body": "Yeah, he's probably still laughing his ar$e off, telling his cronies about the time he walked into the pervert-compartment!"}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:39)", "body": "Maybe later on, but he was in the middle of his job. He could not just go about the rest of his rounds chuckling to himself."}, {"response": 18, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:07)", "body": "Just imagine him, in the next compartment, he hears a noise prior to opening the door. The look on his face, just before opening the door."}, {"response": 19, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:07)", "body": "Yes, I wonder what one would call that look. Dismay? Horror? I can never tell..."}, {"response": 20, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:21)", "body": "I would venture to say, amusement at the situation."}, {"response": 21, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:15)", "body": "That was defenitely NOT the look on his face - except afterwards perhaps. At that moment it was defenitely more along the pain lines!"}, {"response": 22, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:16)", "body": "So, what was your most embarrassing sexual encounter?"}, {"response": 23, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:44)", "body": "Let's see, I don't embarass easily. But I did have an Interesting, potentially embarrassing moment while I was in the army. When I was stationed at presidio, Monterey, CA, I used to hang out with this female Marine. We used to go camping in unusual places. Anyway, we were in a day park, 150M up a steep slope, at the base of a 30M cliff, having sex, early one sunday morning. The park was closed on Sundays til noon. Suddenly, I hear this voice telling me to back away from the woman. There was a Sherriffs Deputy standing on the cliff. We just rolled down the hill about 5M into some brush and continued. I knew he could not get down, and It'd be a while before he could get someone up there, and he would not shoot into the bush for fear of hitting her. So we finished up, got dressed, Evaded the sherriffs department and left. We waited until the park was open and rode our bicycles out the main entrance. the woman in the control booth smiled and waved as we went by. She knew that we were the subjects of the search, and thought it funny. Even if the cop had been able to get to us, It would have been Two against one, with both of us trained in hand-to-hand, we'd have made short work of him."}, {"response": 24, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (00:53)", "body": "ha-ha, that's hilarious!! NOTHING stops a horney man, does it?? Good for you!!"}, {"response": 25, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:05)", "body": "There is such a thing as irresistable force. I was in the army, dating a female Marine! The male Marines have this slight dislike of the situation. You think a County mountie had me worried?"}, {"response": 26, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "I don't know, do I? I mean, I don't know what it takes to get you worried. But I'll have to find out some time."}, {"response": 27, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (08:00)", "body": "Sounds like that might be some REAL fun, Riette."}, {"response": 28, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (10:59)", "body": "We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"}, {"response": 29, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:40)", "body": "Yes Riette, we'll see, we'll see."}, {"response": 30, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (23:23)", "body": "Shouldn't that be, \"...we'll tease, we'll tease.\"?"}, {"response": 31, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:12)", "body": "You think that's the furthest I can go? Oh boy!"}, {"response": 32, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (16:14)", "body": "Go Riette Go!!!"}, {"response": 33, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:12)", "body": "Come Tim Come!"}, {"response": 34, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "That's what I like Riette, Keep them guessing."}, {"response": 35, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:26)", "body": "ha-ha! I hate it when people guess right."}, {"response": 36, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:41)", "body": "Riette, that only makes the game more interesting!"}, {"response": 37, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:49)", "body": "Who said anything about games? This is the real thing! ha-ha!"}, {"response": 38, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:57)", "body": "And, Riette, who says that the real thing can't be a game?"}, {"response": 39, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:53)", "body": "Cheeky! Okay, okay - I give in. Checkmate!"}, {"response": 40, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:58)", "body": "AW Riette! that was too easy. or are things not what they seem?"}, {"response": 41, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:22)", "body": "Only on the surface. You are yet far from conquering me, young man! But I'm willing to consider all efforts great and small!"}, {"response": 42, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "Well That's Encouraging, Riette."}, {"response": 43, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "Indeed, indeed! Is one allowed to ask here how old people were when they lost their virginity? If I asked you, would you answer me?"}, {"response": 44, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "Riette, I imagine, you could ask anything here. And yes if you asked..."}, {"response": 45, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:12)", "body": "How old were you when you lost your virginity, Tim? And how did it happen? And how WAS it?"}, {"response": 46, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "OK, Riette, here goes. I was 16, Working in a bar. Got together with one of the waitresses. It was very good."}, {"response": 47, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:12)", "body": "Oh, one of those encounters with 'older' women that men so treasure! ha-ha! My first time was when I was 17, and it was absolutely awful! ha-ha!! I clearly remember crying out: 'OUCH! What the hell did you have to do THAT for?!!'"}, {"response": 48, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (20:36)", "body": "I never thought of it as an encounter with an older woman. And, because I worked in the bar, she thought that I was at least two years older than I was. Of course, afterward, girls my own age seemed awfully petty."}, {"response": 49, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (00:58)", "body": "I bet! And nowadays too? Do you go for girls your own age mostly? Is your girlfriend older or younger than you?"}, {"response": 50, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:12)", "body": "Actually, I started dating girls my own age In college. And started dating women younger than myself after I got out of the army. I haven't dated a woman older than myself for 12 years now. and I haven't dated anyone my own age since 1978."}, {"response": 51, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:18)", "body": "Interesting! And what made you date women younger than yourself?"}, {"response": 52, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:57)", "body": "Endurance, Riette, Most women my age cannot function 20+ hours a day like I do."}, {"response": 53, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:23)", "body": "How do you MANAGE that? I sometimes get insomnia - though I've been sleeping remarkably well lately - and after a week or so, I look like Droopy's great grandmother."}, {"response": 54, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:30)", "body": "Riette, I have had a lot of practice."}, {"response": 55, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (10:51)", "body": "In my opinion, oral sex is an important part of sex. If you leave it out you are cheating your partner."}, {"response": 56, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Dec 10, 1998 (23:32)", "body": "I have a tendency to enjoy performing way more than some of my partners have enjoyed receiving..."}, {"response": 57, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Dec 11, 1998 (11:03)", "body": "silly bitches!"}, {"response": 58, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Dec 11, 1998 (11:12)", "body": "To each her own, I guess."}, {"response": 59, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Dec 31, 1998 (03:32)", "body": "nope gotta agree with Ree-head... silly bitches!"}, {"response": 60, "author": "PT", "date": "Thu, Jan  7, 1999 (03:56)", "body": "Ok, I bow to the greater wisdom."}, {"response": 61, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (04:00)", "body": "That's alright, you don't have to bow. You can crawl."}, {"response": 62, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (09:17)", "body": "Why is it you always want me on my knees?"}, {"response": 63, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (10:53)", "body": "Wasn't talking about you. I prefer you upright and er-r-r-r-rect."}, {"response": 64, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (10:56)", "body": "...silly bitches... (just reflecting on previous conversations)"}, {"response": 65, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (12:01)", "body": "aren't we all?"}, {"response": 66, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (12:02)", "body": "three more responses for #69 in the oral sex topic..."}, {"response": 67, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (16:35)", "body": "Sometimes I have to crawl to get down low enough."}, {"response": 68, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (16:35)", "body": "Or maybe...."}, {"response": 69, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (16:36)", "body": "Lay down."}, {"response": 70, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (06:17)", "body": "(picking up on Stacey's reflection...) Yes, those silly bitches!"}, {"response": 71, "author": "PT", "date": "Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (12:41)", "body": "Actually, you were the first to make that observation. Stacey was just repeating it."}, {"response": 72, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (14:35)", "body": "I did not fail to remember, I assure you. I made the observation, Stacey agreed, Stacey reflected upon it, and I picked up on her reflection. You with me?"}, {"response": 73, "author": "stacey", "date": "Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (15:40)", "body": "I'm with ya! (perhaps it's just a female train of thought that makes no sense to that other gender)"}, {"response": 74, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (23:20)", "body": "Oh, that's gotta be it!!!"}, {"response": 75, "author": "stacey", "date": "Sun, Jan 17, 1999 (00:26)", "body": "(but you're in touch with your feminine side aren't you WER? or is that my feminine side?)"}, {"response": 76, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jan 17, 1999 (01:24)", "body": "yours, mine, what's the diff, since we be 'mates and all, right?"}, {"response": 77, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Jan 18, 1999 (02:00)", "body": "That should read: yours, mine, what's the diff, since we'd mate and all, right?"}, {"response": 78, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Jan 18, 1999 (22:23)", "body": "no, no, no... entirely wrong connotations! (practicing to mate, maybe...but then again...)"}, {"response": 79, "author": "PT", "date": "Wed, Jan 20, 1999 (20:14)", "body": "I have to admit that the female thought process completely baffles me sometimes."}, {"response": 80, "author": "stacey", "date": "Sun, Jan 24, 1999 (20:00)", "body": "tis the very nature of the beast"}, {"response": 81, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Mar 25, 2000 (18:01)", "body": ""}, {"response": 82, "author": "scream", "date": "Mon, Jan 15, 2001 (22:05)", "body": "is their any girls out thier who want to talk"}, {"response": 83, "author": "scream", "date": "Mon, Jan 15, 2001 (22:06)", "body": "hello"}, {"response": 84, "author": "scream", "date": "Mon, Jan 15, 2001 (22:06)", "body": "is their any girls out thier who want to talk"}, {"response": 85, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jan 15, 2001 (22:41)", "body": "depends on your subject matter, most likely (she said smiling at the topic involved...) you may just get a nibbble - hang in there! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 16, "subject": "Anal sex", "response_count": 58, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (00:59)", "body": "No, never. What if I farted?"}, {"response": 2, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:08)", "body": "excellent point :)"}, {"response": 3, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (09:58)", "body": "Thank you. And how about you? You like having things stuck up your exhaust?"}, {"response": 4, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Tue, Nov 10, 1998 (16:38)", "body": "It was an interesting experiment between two conseting adults :)"}, {"response": 5, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (01:46)", "body": "??? Banana? Potato? Watermelon? Plastic Willy? REAL willy?"}, {"response": 6, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (16:04)", "body": "two consenting adults of opposite gender :-)"}, {"response": 7, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (03:43)", "body": "ha-ha!!! You mean you had a girl's finger up your ar$e!"}, {"response": 8, "author": "autumn", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (22:26)", "body": "Anal sex? Ewwwwww, don't even go there!!"}, {"response": 9, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:37)", "body": "Says me too. I mean, I'm all for ar$e kissing, but anal sex would hurt like hell, I'm sure."}, {"response": 10, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (21:35)", "body": "so what you're saying is, size does matter..."}, {"response": 11, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (21:52)", "body": "I think its more a matter of depth perception."}, {"response": 12, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "ha-ha!! I think it's a bit of both! I mean, it's not like any moisturising fluids flow in that region, so yes, I think size would matter HORRIBLY! Plus: how do I know how deep that hole is???"}, {"response": 13, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "It is considerably deep, but it narrows out rapidly."}, {"response": 14, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "Oh, you know do you? Would you like to elaborate on any experiennce you might have had with this?"}, {"response": 15, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:43)", "body": "I spent 6 years as an EMT. Anatomy is a required subject."}, {"response": 16, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (08:20)", "body": "where were you an EMT? i was one for 10 years in san antonio and small towns to the west of san antonio!"}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (10:40)", "body": "I was a member of the Burnet City squad, did my clinicals in Lampasas on the Lampasas county squad, and while several of their members were on vacation, I filled in on weekends with the Briggs squad. All of my vehicle extraction training was with the Marble Falls squad. My schooling was conducted by the Lampasas and Cassie fire departments."}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:05)", "body": "Oh, yeah right, you two! I read somewhere that every man goes through a homosexual stage at some point in their lives.... So don't come to me with this EMT fancy talk! EMT just means Eat My Tail!"}, {"response": 19, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (11:56)", "body": "you know, i've read that for years, and also the supposed fact that every man is supposed to have had at least one homo-encounter in his life, but i can honestly say that i never have. and i will gladly eat your tail!"}, {"response": 20, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (12:27)", "body": "EMT= Emergency Medical Technician Riette, there is only one answer to a challenge like that. BARE IT AND LET'S GO!!"}, {"response": 21, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:42)", "body": "ha-ha!!! But since I've got only one tail, one of you will have to be content with my titties(less). NO!!!! Just kidding!!! I've always made a point of not showing strange men my tail or my titties(less) - just like Mama taught me."}, {"response": 22, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:42)", "body": "So, you think I'm strange, Huh! Well of all the antisocial attitudes. I mean, really! Oh well, I gues that means I'll just have to get to know you better."}, {"response": 23, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (23:59)", "body": "and it seems that I will never get to see them..."}, {"response": 24, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:10)", "body": "Anyway Riette, we are all looking forward to seeing you when you get here."}, {"response": 25, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:10)", "body": "What do you mean, Wer??? Wasn't it enough that I helped you whip your cream??? Besides, you've been all quiet for so many weeks - working very hard again? I'm looking forward to seeing you all too. It's going to be hellish fun!"}, {"response": 26, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:22)", "body": "Absolutely."}, {"response": 27, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:17)", "body": "Though I daresay this is hardly the topic to discuss the hellish fun we're going to have in...."}, {"response": 28, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:49)", "body": "True,Riette, true. Considering that neither of us is a fan of the genre."}, {"response": 29, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (00:57)", "body": "You're not? I thought you were - since you like bottom bits so much."}, {"response": 30, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:07)", "body": "Ah I'll clarify that. There is a difference between bottom and backside."}, {"response": 31, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:28)", "body": "Which would be?? Oh, I know! The hole, right??"}, {"response": 32, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (08:03)", "body": "Among other things, RIette, among other things."}, {"response": 33, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:00)", "body": "Like what other things? And which one qualifies as bottom? The goodie or the baddie?"}, {"response": 34, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:42)", "body": "They both are, it's just that one is anterior and one is posterior, and the anterior is the good one."}, {"response": 35, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:14)", "body": "What a learned man you are! May I book a lecture on posterior and anterior bottoms and backsides - to help me make up my mind?"}, {"response": 36, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (16:16)", "body": "Absoultely, Riette!! That is the kind of lecture I like to do In Braille."}, {"response": 37, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:14)", "body": "ha-ha! Like that saying: in the land of one hole, the Braille reader is king! Or something like that anyway...."}, {"response": 38, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:21)", "body": "Never heard that, Riette! But it does present interesting possibilities."}, {"response": 39, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:27)", "body": "New things always do, don't they?"}, {"response": 40, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:43)", "body": "Yes, of course, Riette. And that is what makes life so varied."}, {"response": 41, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:50)", "body": "Laaaik a Bux a' chuclit - ya nevvu know whut ya' gunna geit!"}, {"response": 42, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:58)", "body": "Yes Riette, That is true, but i've a pretty good idea."}, {"response": 43, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:54)", "body": "Ha-ha! YEAH??? You've met my secret admirer?? Do you know him? What does he look like?"}, {"response": 44, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:00)", "body": "Riette, I did not say that I've met him, however I know what he looks like."}, {"response": 45, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:23)", "body": "Then you DO know him! Is he my type, do you think?"}, {"response": 46, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:30)", "body": "I Would say so, Riette, yes."}, {"response": 47, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:30)", "body": "Good - 'cos I don't want some nerd fiddling with my chastity belt!"}, {"response": 48, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:30)", "body": "We'll take care of that , Riette."}, {"response": 49, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:13)", "body": "With a can opener?"}, {"response": 50, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "A K bar T, opens anything, Riette."}, {"response": 51, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:12)", "body": "You sound prepared!"}, {"response": 52, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (20:39)", "body": "You know me, Riette, semper paratis!"}, {"response": 53, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (00:59)", "body": "ha-ha! English translation: Ever Erect!"}, {"response": 54, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:13)", "body": "Riette, the coast guard is going to love that one!!!!"}, {"response": 55, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:20)", "body": "I'm sure they LIVE that one with all the boobs in bikinis they see every day!"}, {"response": 56, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:59)", "body": "Riette, in this country most of the coast guard operates further out to sea than most of the boobs in bikinis go."}, {"response": 57, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:24)", "body": "Okay, sharks in bikinis then...."}, {"response": 58, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (10:55)", "body": "while sharks in bikini's is an interesting picture, I would hate to be the one that put the bikini on the shark. Unless you are talking about a two legged shark. sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 17, "subject": "Shaving your partner's rude bits", "response_count": 52, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, Nov  7, 1998 (22:24)", "body": "I've got to say that I prefer a girl to be shaved - not entirely, but enough to keep it out of my teeth!"}, {"response": 2, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (01:01)", "body": "I prefer my man not to be shaved. A man should have all the hairs that God intended for him to have!"}, {"response": 3, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (04:03)", "body": "I definitely prefer that the area nearest to the labia be shaved."}, {"response": 4, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (13:59)", "body": "Hmm, good point. Where it comes to oral sex, I must admit I'm rather glad to be a woman! I can't imagine it being nice to do the thing men do."}, {"response": 5, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (16:04)", "body": "It's nice, but it can be made nicer !"}, {"response": 6, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (03:44)", "body": "Okay, I'll sit in a bowl of ice-cream next time...."}, {"response": 7, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (09:48)", "body": "Rocky Road or Tin Roof?"}, {"response": 8, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (11:07)", "body": "Satin dreams...."}, {"response": 9, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (14:23)", "body": "Actually, Cool Whip is a better idea. It's not as sticky as ice cream and it compliments the flavor of just about anything. Back to shaving: I really prefer that a woman not shave completely, because, in other places the hair adds to the experience. I actually prefer that a woman not shave her legs and armpits some of the time."}, {"response": 10, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (18:07)", "body": "eeek Tim! As for the ice-cream: cookies and cream:)"}, {"response": 11, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (18:46)", "body": "To each his own, I guess."}, {"response": 12, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:39)", "body": "Girls, to be safe, I think we should shave the right armpit, the right leg, and the right labia...."}, {"response": 13, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:11)", "body": "Now, there's a decision worthy of Solomon."}, {"response": 14, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:56)", "body": "'Tis true I always felt I might be his reincarnation - thanks for the confirmation! BOOH!"}, {"response": 15, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:12)", "body": "Solomon is reputed to have had a thousand wives, Does this mean that you intend to get a thousand husbands?"}, {"response": 16, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:13)", "body": "ABSOLUTELY NOT. If this marriage should run out on me (for natural or other reasons), I shall pack my things, and never live in one place again."}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:24)", "body": "I meant, all at one time!!! That is how Solomon did it. Actually I don't Know how he did it!!!"}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:19)", "body": "ALL AT ONE TIME?!?! No wonder he was so clever - he had a thousand wives to teach him! No, one husband is sometimes MORE than I can take already. Why waste this great wisdom on 999 more?"}, {"response": 19, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:52)", "body": "Indeed, not to mention the demands on your time. You've barely time to talk now. Just Kidding, Riette."}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (00:59)", "body": "ha-ha! I'm not too worried about that! Out of the thousand three will probably WANT to sleep with me! The others will be there to plant trees."}, {"response": 21, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:10)", "body": "I have no doubt,that you could find a thousand that wanted to sleep with you."}, {"response": 22, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "Only when blindfolded, and never having seen me!"}, {"response": 23, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (08:06)", "body": "Riette, again you underestimate your self. And you forget that I've seen your picture. Believe me, Helen of Troy had nothing on you!! Oh yeah, I've seen her picture too."}, {"response": 24, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:05)", "body": "How many times must I tell you that people don't look like they do on photos in real life??? My video will prove it to you - you're going to go, 'DAMN, how COULD I have been such a fool!' At least that's one thing it'll be good for! I can honestly say that it's never crossed another soul's mind to compare me to Helen of Troy - that's because they don't have reason to! But I'm not going to discuss this any more - you'll just have to see for yourself. ha-ha!"}, {"response": 25, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:44)", "body": "OK, Riette, we'll see!!"}, {"response": 26, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:16)", "body": "You will! If nobody shows up for a few days, I'll now that I busted their computer screens!"}, {"response": 27, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (16:18)", "body": "Riette, that's not likely and you know it."}, {"response": 28, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "I will not even go there again! You have a warped idea of me!"}, {"response": 29, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:23)", "body": "Actually, Riette, I have a warped idea of your idea of you."}, {"response": 30, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:29)", "body": "This is getting complicated. You have a warped idea of my warped idea about my warped self? Sounds good!"}, {"response": 31, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:44)", "body": "Now, Riette, if we could get all these warps to cancel each other out everything would be clear."}, {"response": 32, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:51)", "body": "No, it would be warped!!!!!!!"}, {"response": 33, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:59)", "body": "True, Riette, but it'd be warped straight."}, {"response": 34, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:55)", "body": "That sounds mighty dangerous to me! GO FOR IT! For WHAT?"}, {"response": 35, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:01)", "body": "The squared circle ,Riette!"}, {"response": 36, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:30)", "body": "That's it, we're WAY gone now! Have you ever met a woman who wanted you to shave your rude bits, Tim? The only reason why I ask, is because I think it will be the most hilarious sight imaginable!"}, {"response": 37, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "Actually, no. Riette, At least I don't think so."}, {"response": 38, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "Then you've not done too badly at all, have you?!"}, {"response": 39, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "No Riette, I have actually done extremely well."}, {"response": 40, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:14)", "body": "Many times?"}, {"response": 41, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:20)", "body": "Well Riette, definitely this once!!"}, {"response": 42, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:13)", "body": "Oh, she's that good is she? And do you think she likes you too?"}, {"response": 43, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (20:41)", "body": "Riette, I think that the Potential is OUTSTANDING!!!"}, {"response": 44, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:01)", "body": "Wow! You really LIKE her, Tim! That's great! I'm sure she likes you even more - you seem such a sweet guy."}, {"response": 45, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "Thank you Riette, It was good of you to say that."}, {"response": 46, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:21)", "body": "Not really. You just are! That's not my fault!"}, {"response": 47, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (12:02)", "body": "It is, partially, Riette, you are an inspiration."}, {"response": 48, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:25)", "body": "OOOOHH! I am?? You're so smmmmoooooooth today, Tim!"}, {"response": 49, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:32)", "body": "Thank you, Riette."}, {"response": 50, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (10:59)", "body": "I think that shaving your partner could be incredibly erotic, but nicking your partner during the process could be a definite turn-off."}, {"response": 51, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Dec 11, 1998 (14:26)", "body": "ranks right up there with accidental biting..."}, {"response": 52, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Dec 11, 1998 (15:06)", "body": "Yes, I'd say so. Not pleasant, any way you look at it. sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 18, "subject": "Sex fantasies", "response_count": 59, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (01:02)", "body": "No way!"}, {"response": 2, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (04:21)", "body": "I would have to say that it would have to be achieving charter membership in the two mile high club. The mile high club was fun, but not much of a challenge. At two miles, the lack of oxygen, causes me to pass out prior to completion. There is also the problem of what happens if the FAA finds out what you are doing. There is less and less uncontrolled airspace every day, and freefalling several thousand feet while regaining consciousness is very noticeable on a controller's radar."}, {"response": 3, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (14:01)", "body": "?????? You did it it while parachuting??? HOW?"}, {"response": 4, "author": "autumn", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (22:18)", "body": "God no, Riette, I fear he's a pilot....."}, {"response": 5, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (14:46)", "body": "I am a pilot. To become a member of the mile high club, you have to have sex while you are pilot in control of an aircraft. The sex must occur while the aircraft is at least 6000' above ground level. Use of cabin pressurization, supplemental oxygen, or autopilot disqualifies the attempt. The two mile high club requires the same thing at 12000' AGL. In spite of the fact that this kind of sex requires nowhere near the exertion that sex on the ground does, the air is thin at 12000', and every tim I've tried it, I've passed out. By the way, you really owe it to yourself to try the mile high sex. the aircraft supplies most of the motion. With practice, you can be weightless at the point of orgasm."}, {"response": 6, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (14:51)", "body": "I have to admit, that your idea of sex while parachuting sounds really interesting. It would have to be done in free fall..... It's really cold up there..... Maybe a tandem harness and a cargo chute?? I'm going to have to think this out."}, {"response": 7, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:42)", "body": "But won't you be 5 mm cold? But sex while flying sounds stunning. I'd love to do it while doing rolls and dives. A friend of mine flies these small planes, and he does those dives, and falls and rolls - I absolutely ADORE it."}, {"response": 8, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:15)", "body": "You will definitely have to try it."}, {"response": 9, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:57)", "body": "Absolutely - except that my husband gets airsick from getting up on a morning, and the friend is not my type...."}, {"response": 10, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (13:20)", "body": "Dramamine is wonderful for airsickness, and there are a couple of million pilots in the world. It doesn't have to be now, just sometime."}, {"response": 11, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (13:23)", "body": "Interesting point: Most people that get airsick riding in a plane don't get airsick when they are pilot in command. Huge amounts of adrenaline can overcome anything."}, {"response": 12, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:09)", "body": "Not with my husband, I don't think. Once we were in a restaurant on the beach in Africa - very romantic and all. Except that we had to leave after ten minutes - after he had to run to the loo to be sick! And friends of ours had a waterbed in their spare room; he ended up sleeping on the floor, because it made him sick! And he comes from a Scottish family of sea farers! But if I don't get to do it in a plane, it's not the end of the world - he more than makes up for it on the ground."}, {"response": 13, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:46)", "body": "Of course it's not the end of the world. Just a wonderful experience. Are you trying to tell me that your husband got seasick on the beach? The waterbed, I can understand. I don't like them. if I move suddenly, it tends to throw my partner out of bed."}, {"response": 14, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "Yep, my husband cannot even look at moving water! He also can't stand merry-go-around rides. Says it frightens him to death - which I find hard to believe! Anyway, I won't lose hope for the airplane experience...after all, I can do it on my own!"}, {"response": 15, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "Close, closer than you could get without the airplane, but not quite the same."}, {"response": 16, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:35)", "body": "Are you suggesting I buy myself a vibrator??? Or perhaps a Safety Man?"}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:49)", "body": "Perhaps a vibrator and a bungee cord. get a vibrator that you can conceal inside. Turn it on, insert and jump. That ought to be REAL CLOSE."}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:05)", "body": "\ufffdblushing, but just this once\ufffd"}, {"response": 19, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "Just once?"}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:43)", "body": "Assuming you're not going to make me feel shy again...."}, {"response": 21, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:43)", "body": "Well, I shall attempt to keep you in the bold and beautiful mode. We'll try to leave the shyness behind. Or to quote Admiral Farragut at the battle for Mobile Bay, \"Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead\". (Sounds heroic and all that, but, I'm glad I wasn't on his ship.) (That's the kind of thinking that got Custer siouxed)"}, {"response": 22, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:16)", "body": "A bit of explanation is in order here. At the time of the battle, what they referred to as torpedos, we now call MINES."}, {"response": 23, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "I know, darling, I've got all these terms under my belt! Reading a book on 2nd world war tactics. I cannot believe the technology that went into it even back then! Like the German Enigma codes, and the magnetic mines they used to blow up ships - it's so cool!"}, {"response": 24, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:29)", "body": "The war I'm referring to took place 1861-1865. You like WWII tech, you ought to see what they got now!! They can program the sound signature of a particular ship into a torpedo, and that torpedo will hunt down that one ship and blow it up. The torpedo will avoid every other ship. and that is just the tip of the iceburg."}, {"response": 25, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:25)", "body": "Well, I KNEW what a torpedo mine thing was, so there! And, yes I read about that torpedo too! But it's not so surprising, I suppose, because I perceive of THIS as the very modern years. But when I read about some of the stuff they came up with during the 1930's, I just go, WOW! Because that's like the 'dark ages', it's so long ago. Like that one German bomb mine with the photo-electric cells that exploded the bomb if light got inside it to kill the bomb team who got to see how it worked. And how, when they sank 24 feet deep they functioned as magnetic m nes, and self-destruct on soft mud or in shallow water. Like a big booby trap. I don't like the Germans, but that's cool!"}, {"response": 26, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (09:56)", "body": "They were very advanced scientifically. Now, i'll make your blood run cold. When Germany surrendered, they were within two weeks of having a workable atomic bomb"}, {"response": 27, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (10:03)", "body": "I don't doubt that you knew what a torpedo mine was. What I was trying to illustrate was the technological advance at such an early date. By the way, did you know that the first ship sunk successfully by a submarine, was sunk in this war? The ship was the Housatonic and the submarine was the Hunley. They are working on recovering the Hunley now. She was inadvertantly rammed and sunk by a rescue ship going to the aid of the Housatonic."}, {"response": 28, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:04)", "body": "What a frightening thought! I think the Germans could have easily won the war, if they were less fixated upon Jewish people. But them having an atomic bomb - that's really scary. No, I haven't read about the Housatonic - but it's amazing. It's amazing that they could have a functioning u-boat back then, let alone one that could sink a ship! That's amazing!"}, {"response": 29, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:12)", "body": "The sub was powered by eleven men manually turning a crankshaft that powered the prop."}, {"response": 30, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:31)", "body": "Oh my goodness!! How did they survive it?! Because it would probably not even be a hundred percent water tight."}, {"response": 31, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (08:11)", "body": "Riette, it was totally airtight. Up until it was rammed, anyway. By the way, the crew didn't survive. The remains were still inside when the sub was found. 120 years after she went down."}, {"response": 32, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:06)", "body": "That's so sad. Did they build a memorial for them somewhere?"}, {"response": 33, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:45)", "body": "They are in the process of building the memorial. They are going to build it on shore near where the men died."}, {"response": 34, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:18)", "body": "I must go and see it. Do you realize what new people who come here will think of this? U-boats and explosions in a topic on sex fantasies!!! Wew!"}, {"response": 35, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (16:20)", "body": "Well, Riette. After all, what is long, hard, shaped like a cigar, and full of seamen?"}, {"response": 36, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "\ufffdchoking with laughter!!!\ufffd A very lucky woman!"}, {"response": 37, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:24)", "body": "SEAMEN RIETTE SEAMEN!!!!!! Not SEMEN."}, {"response": 38, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:29)", "body": "And we both know now who got who, don't we??? \ufffdTONGUE TIME BIG TIME\ufffd"}, {"response": 39, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:46)", "body": "Got me again!! Riette! Good one. It seems that you never do things half way."}, {"response": 40, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:52)", "body": "To get half the kick? No way!"}, {"response": 41, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (01:00)", "body": "Way to go Riette. Pedal down, toes in the carbs!!!!"}, {"response": 42, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:56)", "body": "I can think of better places to put my toes...."}, {"response": 43, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:02)", "body": "HMMM so can I Riette, so can I."}, {"response": 44, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "The where-do-the-toes-go sex fantasy!"}, {"response": 45, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:33)", "body": "Yes, Riette, Where do they go?"}, {"response": 46, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:33)", "body": "\ufffdblush\ufffd warm, cosy places?"}, {"response": 47, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:33)", "body": "Well that sounds good to me, Riette."}, {"response": 48, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:16)", "body": "Thank goodness! I thought you were going to ask me to be more specific!"}, {"response": 49, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:21)", "body": "Well Riette, now that you mention it, Could you?"}, {"response": 50, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:15)", "body": "Oh, if I must! Now, let's see: a warm and cosy place for one's foot? hmmmmm.... Inside a piece of clothing? Like, say.....a sock?"}, {"response": 51, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:16)", "body": "Is that what you had in mind too?"}, {"response": 52, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (20:42)", "body": "NO, Riette, not even close."}, {"response": 53, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:01)", "body": "Then, speak your mind - I'm listening."}, {"response": 54, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "Well To be truely comfortable it would have to be in contact with skin on all sides."}, {"response": 55, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:22)", "body": "ha-ha!!!! NAUGHTY TIM!!! But how will ANY girl EVER be able to take your whole size 14 foot in her mouth????"}, {"response": 56, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (12:05)", "body": "Riette, any girl that could put a whole size 14 foot in her mouth, would have to chase me! Because I'd be running the other way."}, {"response": 57, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:26)", "body": "But I thought that was where you wanted it. No?"}, {"response": 58, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:33)", "body": "Not exactly, Riette!"}, {"response": 59, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (11:12)", "body": "Let's try another one. The crow's nest restaraunt just north of Monterey on the bay, a foggy summer evening, after dark, at high tide. And on the beach just north of the restaraunt, far enough away that the building has faded into the fog. sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 19, "subject": "Sex Food", "response_count": 66, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (01:02)", "body": "Coke, defenitely."}, {"response": 2, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:01)", "body": "As in Cola? DP works too."}, {"response": 3, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:05)", "body": "Coca Cola. It doesn't do anything sexy, but tastes better than sperm. What's DP?"}, {"response": 4, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:09)", "body": "Doctor Pepper. Great Southern carbonated prune juice drink. High caff!"}, {"response": 5, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (10:19)", "body": "Sounds good! I'll try it when we come to the Spring party next year. Any foods that turn you on? Rhino horn pepper or someting like that?"}, {"response": 6, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (11:08)", "body": "Cheeses. With melba toast."}, {"response": 7, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov  9, 1998 (00:42)", "body": "Yeah??? You live in the wrong country, sir!"}, {"response": 8, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (04:40)", "body": "I would venture to say that you have never been to Wisconsin if you think that this is not the country for cheese."}, {"response": 9, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (04:42)", "body": "I try not to eat right before sex. Digestion tends to reduce the available blood flow."}, {"response": 10, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (09:34)", "body": "i cant eat right before sex either. i always attributed it to the fact that my brainstem can only engage in one consummatory behavior at a time."}, {"response": 11, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (14:03)", "body": "ha-ha! I don't know if I do or not - I eat more or less constantly. But I love finishing a liter of coke and 3 oranges after sex to calm down. Tim, in Switzerland we even have holes in our cheese for men who find it a turn-on...."}, {"response": 12, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (14:59)", "body": "So, Does the holey cheese cum first?"}, {"response": 13, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:45)", "body": "HA-HA-HA!!!! For that you'll have to say three Hail Marys, you devil!"}, {"response": 14, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:02)", "body": "Good Morning Riette, And who might this mary be?"}, {"response": 15, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:08)", "body": "Don't you ever sleep, Tim? Good EARLY morning to you too. Mary? I'm not sure. But my husband is anglican, but thinks he's catholic, and goes to confession. He knows all about this Mary - should I be worried about what he does in the confession booth???"}, {"response": 16, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:22)", "body": "That depends, How accessible is the priest?"}, {"response": 17, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:44)", "body": "ha-ha! I don't know - I don't do that booth thing. I don't go to church."}, {"response": 18, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:44)", "body": "Hmm, Well, if the confessional is big enough, and it's got one of those sliding partitions, Mary could be hiding out in the corner of the confessional, and the priest would be none the wiser. I hope you realize: this is a joke!!"}, {"response": 19, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "Hello Mary. Come out , Come out , Wherever you are."}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:16)", "body": "ha-ha! The bitch, I'll kill her! ONLY JOKING!"}, {"response": 21, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:31)", "body": "I think she believed you, I don't see her anywhere."}, {"response": 22, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:27)", "body": "Oh good. And what are you doing around confession booths? You can hold my hand while I go confess, but you must close your ears though...."}, {"response": 23, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (10:08)", "body": "It's a deal, Riette. Although It's doubtful that you will come up with anything I haven't heard. In the church I currently attend, confession is done in front of the entire congregation at Sunday service. The idea being so that everyone can help you to avoid that pitfall again."}, {"response": 24, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:06)", "body": "OH, how embarrassing! Hope you don't mind if I skip! Have you ever confessed in front of the whole congregation? What did you confess, and did they go, gasp!, what a naughty person?"}, {"response": 25, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:15)", "body": "Yes I have confessed in front of the congregation. And what they do is come up after service and give you a hug. There is something pretty powerful about being hugged by 600 people."}, {"response": 26, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "And some probably offer to commit the sin WITH you!"}, {"response": 27, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (08:15)", "body": "Riette, they would not say something like that. Perhaps they are thinking that, but they'd never say it."}, {"response": 28, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:07)", "body": "I would."}, {"response": 29, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:47)", "body": "That is because you are such an honest person."}, {"response": 30, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:19)", "body": "Or rude!"}, {"response": 31, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (16:21)", "body": "Riette, you are not rude. refreshingly honest, yes, blunt at times, yes, rude, NO!"}, {"response": 32, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "I swear you're the only person on this planet who calls me honest instead of rude! But after all the stories I heard about you last night it doesn't come as that much of a surprise any longer!! ha-ha!"}, {"response": 33, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:26)", "body": "What is this? turnabout is fair play? Good one Riette!"}, {"response": 34, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:31)", "body": "Not only fair, but good! Different positions always make it more interesting."}, {"response": 35, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:47)", "body": "Oh yes, Riette! and add variety too."}, {"response": 36, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:53)", "body": "I was going to say it prevents stiffness too, but it doesn't, does it! ha-ha!"}, {"response": 37, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (01:01)", "body": "It does both, Riette!!"}, {"response": 38, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:57)", "body": "A work out that works you up! ha-ha!"}, {"response": 39, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:03)", "body": "Handy, wouldn't you say?"}, {"response": 40, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:32)", "body": "HANDLED, I'd say!"}, {"response": 41, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "Of course, for some, Riette, that is the best way."}, {"response": 42, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "And for some it's the ONLY way!"}, {"response": 43, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "Well yes , Riette I suppose it could be."}, {"response": 44, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "Like if Lucy the blow-up doll got a headache or something."}, {"response": 45, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:23)", "body": "Well, Riette, nothing lasts forever!! Nothing mechanical anyway."}, {"response": 46, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:17)", "body": "ha-ha! Mechanical things can be oiled...."}, {"response": 47, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (20:44)", "body": "Yes, Riette, Lubrication tends to make anything hold up longer."}, {"response": 48, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:02)", "body": "Or go in better!"}, {"response": 49, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:18)", "body": "Slides in all directions."}, {"response": 50, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:24)", "body": "Ooh. The only difference between one kind of oiled machine and the other, is that the one starts producing a squeak when it does its job, and the other goes completely quiet!"}, {"response": 51, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (12:08)", "body": "Well Riette, If it's squeaking, it must need attention!!"}, {"response": 52, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:27)", "body": "No! If it's squeaking, it IS getting alot of attention! That's how my machine works anyway!"}, {"response": 53, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (00:34)", "body": "OK Riette, then maybe It needs more attention."}, {"response": 54, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (11:25)", "body": "Take a large tray, fill it with cheese, cut into one centimeter cubes, grapes individual grapes, honeydew melon cut in one centimeter cubes, green olives, black olives, croutons. With the following rule: you cannot put anything into your own mouth, and you cannot speak."}, {"response": 55, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Dec  9, 1998 (22:46)", "body": "definitely need to add strawberries and/or raspberries and/or blackberries, and add the restriction of not being able to use your hands, either..."}, {"response": 56, "author": "PT", "date": "Thu, Dec 10, 1998 (01:18)", "body": "This sounds really interesting."}, {"response": 57, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Dec 10, 1998 (23:30)", "body": "oh, yeah, and add some chocolate chips to the plate, as well..."}, {"response": 58, "author": "PT", "date": "Fri, Dec 11, 1998 (11:13)", "body": "Yes, I think so and some marzipan."}, {"response": 59, "author": "playcboe", "date": "Sat, Mar 13, 1999 (18:32)", "body": "Peaches ..... yummy .... sticky .... drippy .... So sweet ...."}, {"response": 60, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, Mar 13, 1999 (23:42)", "body": "so, Stacey, who's your friend?"}, {"response": 61, "author": "stacey", "date": "Sat, Apr 10, 1999 (23:37)", "body": "???? perviously occupied it appears to me!"}, {"response": 62, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Apr 11, 1999 (00:10)", "body": "yeah, well..."}, {"response": 63, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:50)", "body": "hmmmm, so nobody eats anymore or god forbid, no one's having sex... This topic has been dead for a year, how sad! O.K.let's see if the resident gay girl can kickstart this puppy! **Mandarin orange slices dipped in chocolate mousse**"}, {"response": 64, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:56)", "body": "Do both actually in equal proportions if I can get what I want *grin* I like feeding little juicy things and licking off the rest..."}, {"response": 65, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, Dec  3, 2000 (10:04)", "body": "fruit's always fun... strawberries, bananas...."}, {"response": 66, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Dec  3, 2000 (19:21)", "body": "cherry halves can make nice arrangements... Pitted of course! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 2, "subject": "adult stories", "response_count": 1, "posts": [{"response": 2, "author": "sysop", "date": "Wed, Nov 20, 1996 (10:00)", "body": "If you're new, to post a comment you need to sign-up first. If you're already signed up, you need to login in order to post a comment. What material would you like to see on http://www.adultstory.com ? What material do you have to offer? What can we do that would captivate folks on the Internet? sex conference | Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 20, "subject": "Your biggest turn on", "response_count": 56, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Sun, Nov  8, 1998 (01:09)", "body": "Voice and eyes. He has the most stunning, hypnotic pair of eyes above his black beard. And a lovely voice. And when we're at formal dinners he'll often towards the end of the evening stare at me with those eyes across the table, and casually tell me what we're going to do when we get home - that really turns me on."}, {"response": 2, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (15:14)", "body": "I would have to say that attitude is the most important. I have been around some stunningly beautiful women that had a negative attude, and it was a complete turn-off. On the other hand, I have been with relatively plain women with a fantastic attitude, and it drove me to heights I never would have reached otherwise."}, {"response": 3, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (00:10)", "body": "I think mine would probably be obvious desire for me in the eyes of the other person"}, {"response": 4, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:47)", "body": "Aah, the last two responses mean there is hope for a woman like me yet!"}, {"response": 5, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:23)", "body": "From what I've seen on these conferences, you have nothing to worry about."}, {"response": 6, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (10:59)", "body": "ha-ha! From what I see in the mirror, you're right - too boring for guys even to go in that direction!"}, {"response": 7, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (13:29)", "body": "Next time you look inthe mirror, you ought to turn on the light. Seriously though, I've seen your picture posted in one of these conferences, and you are nothing like a boring person. Actually you look quite animated and lively."}, {"response": 8, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (13:30)", "body": ""}, {"response": 9, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "You can say that without the personal experience? And when do we get to see your photo?"}, {"response": 10, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:49)", "body": "I will have to have one made soon and ask terry how to post it on the net."}, {"response": 11, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:20)", "body": "Good! We'll create a topic in babes..."}, {"response": 12, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (01:35)", "body": "HA HA HA HEEHEE HEE... I think maybe someplace else might be more appropos, I'll ask terry after I get the picture made."}, {"response": 13, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:36)", "body": "Well, that could be fixed! Just wear a dress..."}, {"response": 14, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (01:54)", "body": "HAA HA HA HA!!!! It would have to be a very concealing dress. But someone has beaten you to making a place for a picture. Take a look at the last category under screwed."}, {"response": 15, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:09)", "body": "Yes, I saw! And what an honour to have one's picture in a conference about screwing! So, when will we see it?"}, {"response": 16, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (01:26)", "body": "Getting a picture taken is next on the agenda. I ordered the chocolate covered cherries today. I'll call tomorrow to make sure that they are being shipped properly. Hopefully you should have them next week. I also had them send a box of pecan pralines,"}, {"response": 17, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:47)", "body": "Oh, that's so sweet of you! I thought you were sort of joking! But I know which chocolate and holey cheese I'm going to send you too - I can send it to Terry's place when I send him the video, right? But I promise to pack everything seperately, so the video won't smell of cheese the whole time!"}, {"response": 18, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (00:47)", "body": "Yes, you can send it to terry's place with the video. And please do make sure that it is clearly marked for me. You see, terry has this thing about cheese. If you don't mark the cheese for me. I'll probably never see it. Come to think of it, maybe you should send terry some cheese too, so he doesn't feel left out."}, {"response": 19, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (01:23)", "body": "You know, come to think about it, I don't think that any of us would mind if the video smelled. Kind of a scratch and sniff thing, you know."}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:18)", "body": "Yeah, with any luck you'll eat the damn thing before you can watch it! I promise to send Terry some cheese too, but I'll mark yours CLEARLY. I'll try to use my nice handwriting too...."}, {"response": 21, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "Thank you very much, I apprecaite the care. and I'm really looking forward to the arrival of the package. Although the holiday coming Thursday will probably slow things down a bit."}, {"response": 22, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (07:28)", "body": "Then you'll just have to be patient, and not drool all over the place, won't you?"}, {"response": 23, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (10:13)", "body": "I'll try, But it's going to be REAL hard. By the way, Riette FED-EX called me, and they need your Phone number. You can e-mail it to me if you like."}, {"response": 24, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:08)", "body": "Yeah right! You just want to phone me in the middle of the night, and have my neighbours phone the foreigner police, don't ya?! No, just kidding. I'll send it right away."}, {"response": 25, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:17)", "body": "We'll really confuse them. I'll get us a couple of shortwave sets. We'll get the freq hoppers the spies use!!"}, {"response": 26, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:19)", "body": "Okay, it's on its way."}, {"response": 27, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:21)", "body": "Hey, how did you do that?! My response was supposed to go in there! Pushy!"}, {"response": 28, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (01:56)", "body": "I got the number and sent mine. Feel free to call anytime, I keep my portable right with me all the time."}, {"response": 29, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "Okay, but I won't tell you when."}, {"response": 30, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (08:27)", "body": "OK, Riette. I just hope that you did not try before I got home today. I've only been here 45 min now. You could page me first. Of course that'd spoil the surprise. I think that I'd rather be surprised."}, {"response": 31, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:08)", "body": "Okay, I'll page and say, 'Tim, I'm defenitelly NOT going to phone you 5 minutes from now. Defenitely not!' Will it still be a surprise then?"}, {"response": 32, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:48)", "body": "Riette, I can be kind of dense sometimes, but not that dense."}, {"response": 33, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:21)", "body": "ha-ha! Okay, I am absolutely NOT going to phone you today. I mean, forget it, okay? Just forget it. No way! Get that idea out of your head right now! And stay as far away from your phone as you can, because it's NOT going to ring!"}, {"response": 34, "author": "TIM", "date": "Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (16:24)", "body": "Riette, when I got your message, I was 20 miles from the phone. I can't get much farther away. I enjoyed our conversation."}, {"response": 35, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:21)", "body": "That's what those bursts of laughter were for???? I've never heard anyone laugh like that! It was quite amazing!"}, {"response": 36, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:27)", "body": "Riette, you can be quite amusing when you are embarrassed."}, {"response": 37, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:32)", "body": "I would not know!"}, {"response": 38, "author": "TIM", "date": "Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (15:49)", "body": "Riette, that is because you are concentrating on pretending that you did not do what you just did."}, {"response": 39, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (00:54)", "body": "You SAW that?? Oh, how embarrassing!"}, {"response": 40, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (01:02)", "body": "I Try, Riette, and occasionally I succeed."}, {"response": 41, "author": "riette", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (14:58)", "body": "Oh dear! I'll have to close the bathroom door from now on then, won't I?"}, {"response": 42, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:04)", "body": "That won't help you, Riette."}, {"response": 43, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:33)", "body": "Is that a promise?"}, {"response": 44, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:36)", "body": "Yes Riette , That is a promise. Now what was it I just promised to do?"}, {"response": 45, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:36)", "body": "Shave my head bold, and tatoo dragons all over my arms, I believe. I mean, gee, Tim, whatever it is that gets you off!"}, {"response": 46, "author": "TIM", "date": "Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (01:36)", "body": "Whatever you want, Riette, anytime, anywhere."}, {"response": 47, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:34)", "body": "To hear you confess in church while standing next to the priest?"}, {"response": 48, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:39)", "body": "Kinky, Riette, however I'm up for it if you are!! First, though you'll have to find a church that uses that kind of confession and has priests. There are no priests in my religion."}, {"response": 49, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (22:08)", "body": "There's priests in Christianity... there just may not be any in your denomination..."}, {"response": 50, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (00:39)", "body": "Somebody totally missed the boat here!!!!!!! I Believe we were talking about the church where i worship. What difference does it make if the church next door has a priest, unless they have the same belief in confession??????"}, {"response": 51, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:07)", "body": "Tim, stop that! I know you and Wer don't like each other; he didn't like me either when I first came, and at this point doesn't like me too well either, but come on, sweety. Try and be nice - if you give him a reason not to come anymore, then my argument will not be valid anymore. See? Now, get over here. \ufffdbiggest biggest kiss ever\ufffd"}, {"response": 52, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:08)", "body": "Please don't be angry. But if you are, I'll understand."}, {"response": 53, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:24)", "body": "Riette, I hate it when I do that. The man is performing within his abilities and I'm Holding it against him."}, {"response": 54, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:26)", "body": "As long as you don't get angry - it will sort itself out at some point, I'm sure."}, {"response": 55, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (12:09)", "body": "Yes, Riette, that's the point exactly."}, {"response": 56, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (11:47)", "body": "All kinds of things are turn ons for me, green eyes, an infectious laugh, and a positive attitude, in combination. That is the ultimate. sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 21, "subject": "tantric yoga", "response_count": 21, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Nov 10, 1998 (15:04)", "body": "From Sungja: The basis of trantric sex that I learned was that it is possible to achieve \"enlightenment\" (or whatever your favorite term is) by practicing special ways of fucking. The Rajneesh version had it that the teacher of (it's always the teacher of) bagwan shree Rajneesh reached the highest level of consciousness possible minus one. He achieved this state through the practice of yoga sutras and meditation. Once he attained this state he understood that no individual human could get to the next (and final) level of consciousness alone, you need to have a partner. That was why the teacher devised many ways of meditating and so on, so that lots of people (including women) could reach this next to top level of consciousness. Then they could use tantra to get the final boost (as it were). Although there are variations on tantric sex, the basic idea is for both partners to get right to the edge of orgasm and then hold that mental state until you enter that field of pure consciousness. And what the hell, if it doesn't work, it sure is fun to try again the next day! For my money, this beats all other methods of getting enlightened hands down. I tried them all, and this one, *take my word for it*, is numero uno. No,...damn it,....don't take my word for it, go and try it out. ;)"}, {"response": 2, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (01:48)", "body": "Terry! You used the F-word!!!! I'm so proud of you!"}, {"response": 3, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (04:26)", "body": "Tantric yoga sounds like it could be the basis for one of the greatest pick-up lines of all time. We used recombinant genetics when I was in school. (as a pick-up line basis)"}, {"response": 4, "author": "terry", "date": "Wed, Nov 11, 1998 (06:23)", "body": "Actually I quoted someone who used the f word. So comments on tantric sex, Ree and wolf (since y'all are so feisty about this)."}, {"response": 5, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (14:09)", "body": "I would if I had a clue what it was about, Ter! I mean, I read through it, but I don't get it. Let's see which part I misinterpret here. Okay, so you sit opposite your partner, cross-legged, naked, thumbs and middle-fingers pressed together. You meditate until you get in the mood. And then together you meditate till you reach orgasm? The problem with that kind of sex, I find, is this: you sit naked opposite a naked man, and don't even get to touch him so much as with the tip of a finger??? You only get to think about all the things he could do to you, and vice versa? What's the point? I mean, he's naked, he's in the mood, I'm in the mood - why the waste of time? JUST DO IT, I always say!"}, {"response": 6, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (19:52)", "body": "That's not it. You *do it* in tantric sex, but you do it for a very long time and you feel in touch with your whole body."}, {"response": 7, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (19:56)", "body": "David Gray has this to say about tantric yoga: No. to think full \"body\" orgasm is to misunderstand Tantra (at least as I understand it) pretty totally. It's about integrating what is corporeal and what is beyond the corporeal. In this sense Tantra and Kundalini yoga are cousins. Disclaimer: I am not expert, or even particularly knowledgeable about Tantra, but I am a long time reader of Akit Mukerjee (who is expert) 's books on Tantric Thankas (images, often mandalas and always \"art\") useful for meditation) and a once-upon-a-time student of it. I think Tantra is about energy, not specifically sex - it's about consciousness and channeling energy, sex is a powerful component. The idea of orgasm without ejaculation is not about the body, but about the consciousness - which Tantra, unlike many other branches, derivatives and/or neighbors of Buddhism, does not disassociate from the corporeal. So the practice of Tantric yoga, which can include but is not exclusive to sexual activity, should lead to directing energy through all seven chakras, which should make one a fully conscious, charged being, able to consciously direct huge flows of energy. My understanding of \"tantric sex\", which I have practiced but never achieved is the energy of orgasm should be a flow of energy to the seventh chakra, which is pictured in Thankas floating above one's corporeal head, instead of the second, and rather base chakra. (\"Chakra\" can be defined as \"energy terminal\" - I think it is cognate with the primary energy, or Chi, termina as taught in Chinese medicine."}, {"response": 8, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (20:01)", "body": "I found a website with all kinds of tantric lore: http://www.tantra.org/ Tantricks use the principle of the ritual sublimation of natural impulses to attain altered states of consciousness. Tantrik adepts are trained to direct all their energies toward the conquest of the Eternal. The ritual satisfaction of lust and the consumption of consecrated meat or liquor are esoterically significant means of realizing the unity of flesh and spirit, of the human and the divine. They are not considered sinful acts but, on the contrary, effective means of salvation. Most westerners use the word \"Tantra\" to cover sacred and enhanced sexuality. Tantra, as practised in the West, referred to as \"neo-Tantra\", borrows from many traditions including Taoism, Hindu Tantra, Native American Quodoshka, African, Polynesian, Wiccan, Christian Gnosticism, etc. Real \"Tantra\" is a rigorous spiritual discipline and vast field of study -- the sexual aspect is a small but important part of it. Mystical experiences and altered states of consciousness result from many of the processes, especially the ones dealing with sexual energy. Ritual copulation is, for both partners, a form of sacralization, tke act being a participation in cosmic and divine processes. The experience of transcending space and time, of surpassing the phenomenal duality of spirit and matter, of recovering the primeval unity, the realization of the identity of God and his Sakti, and of the manifested and unmanifested aspects of the All, these constitute the very mystery of the Tantra. Contents: Tantra Sacred Orgasms Lesbian Sacred Sexuality American Tantra Tantric Sex: A Spiritual Path of Ecstasy The Basis of Tantra Common Questions About Tantra Answered An Overview of Tantra Breath Control Fantasy Tibetan Buddism and Tantric Yoga Yoni Massage, Lingam Massage, Karezza The Will in Tantra The Tantric Path Psychic Protection The Polarity Process Left Hand Path of Tantra The Love Teachings of the Kama Sutra Join the Church of Tantra Sex Magick Sex Magic Primer, The Sex Magic process, Resources: Tantra Events Tantra Resources Tantra Giftshop Books, New Items, Aphrodisiacs,"}, {"response": 9, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (20:13)", "body": ""}, {"response": 10, "author": "wolf", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (20:33)", "body": "so this is some kind of hindu thing? so what happens once you reach this state? do you just fall over?"}, {"response": 11, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Nov 12, 1998 (22:35)", "body": "well, fall over and take a nap..."}, {"response": 12, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (03:49)", "body": "Oh, cool! However - I cannot imagine having a willy in me for many hours on end to be all that much of a turn-on. I blame it on an invention callled the tampon."}, {"response": 13, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (08:03)", "body": "Do women generally like to be on top."}, {"response": 14, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (11:11)", "body": "I like being on top, but sometimes I also like it when he has the 'control'. But we normally switch around while we're doing it, so I guess it's 50/50 - I don't really care whether I'm on top or not during orgasm. Do men like for women to be on top generally?"}, {"response": 15, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (13:49)", "body": "Yes, in this case. What's the usual duration, Ree?"}, {"response": 16, "author": "terry", "date": "Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (19:53)", "body": "Hello, Thanks for your interest in my writings on the subject of sacred sex, karezza, and tantra. If you have read my essays at tantra.org or some other mirror-site, you may be interested to know that my own site, Sacred Sex, contains many more essays. Topics not mirrored elsewhere include lengthy descriptive pages on male control of orgasm, the function of the clitoris, and more. The URL is http://www.luckymojo.com/sacredsex.html I hereby give my permission for you to excerpt the text and graphics at the following URL http://www.luckymojo.com/ for one-time, non-commercial use only. Please be sure that the copyright information is included in your off-print. I am not a teacher of these practices and i do not maintain a list of such teachers in the USA or other countries. You may, however, find links to some teachers via my web page \"Links to Other Web Sites about Tantra, Karezza, and Sacred Sex\" at http://www.luckymojo.com/tkwebsites.html I believe that if you study from books, you will have good results...unless you belive in a literal hierarchy of \"lineage,\" in which case, you will not be satisfied until you meet a guru. Personally, i believe that what we call \"tantra\" has in some form existed since the neolithic era. Therefore i believe that any human being can have access to its benefits, wihout the need for a guru or teacher. The Indian form of sacred sex practice, called tantra yoga, is only one path, in my opinion. You may be able to find a copy of \"Tantra: The Cult of the Feminine\" by Andre van Lysebeth and it will indicate to you some of the traditional Indian practices as well as non-Indian forms of sacred sexuality such as Karezza (Magnetation) as propounded by Alice Bunker Stockham and John William Lloyd. Unfortunately, due to the duties of my regular work and the sheer number of requests i receive for personal correspondence, i cannot engage in e-mail dialogue at this time. However, for ongoing world-wide discussions on the subject of sacred sex, in which i am a regular participant, you might enjoy subscribing to the usenet newsgroup alt.magick.tantra If your isp does not carry it; just ask. Good luck, catherine yronwode Sacred Sex: http://www.luckymojo.com/sacredsex.html Cordially, catherine yronwode Lucky Mojo Curio Co: http://www.luckymojo.com/luckymojocatalogue.html The Lucky W Amulet Archive: http://www.luckymojo.com/luckyw.html Sacred Sex: http://www.luckymojo.com/sacredsex.html The Sacred Landscape: http://www.luckymojo.com/sacredland.html Freemasonry for Women: http://www.luckymojo.com/comasonry.html Comics Warehouse: http://www.luckymojo.com/comicswarehouse.html check out news:alt.lucky.w for discussions on folk magic and luck"}, {"response": 17, "author": "TIM", "date": "Sun, Nov 15, 1998 (00:25)", "body": "I don't believe in using witchcraft for sex. On the website quoted, there a re books of spells available. this is witchcraft. I am also not into satan worship. The freemasons are a satan-worshipping cult. Don't believe me. Read the handbook given to 32nd degree masons."}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (03:50)", "body": "Careful, my husband is a freemason, and sure as hell not a satan worshipper. Or if he is, then I'd like to go to hell with all the other normal people some day! ha-ha! To come back to your question about duration, Terry. I don't know, really. I guess it varies alot. You?"}, {"response": 19, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (08:04)", "body": "Yep, I do. But variety is good too. I'm not attached to one particular method."}, {"response": 20, "author": "riette", "date": "Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (11:00)", "body": "Yeah. Any favourite methods?"}, {"response": 21, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Feb 12, 1999 (18:57)", "body": "Hey, here's a fasincating tantric web page that I stumbled across searching something else. I was search for \"austin\" and \"wired\" in Yahoo and found this tonight: http://www.luckymojo.com/tknorthaustin.html Men often ask me what i think of various techniques for the control of male orgasm, specifically those advocated by Mantak Chia and his peers. Stripping away the spiritual veneer from their teachings and getting down to biological basics, these authors promote what i call the \"mechanical tantra\" school of training. Basically, they either recommend manual pressure on the base of the penis or perineum to prevent ejaculation or the development of internal muscular control of the penile sphincters to produce retrograde ejaculation -- backing the sperm up into the urinary bladder. They cite as sources for their teachings early writers, including some yogic adepts. There is no doubt that some of these \"secret teachings of tantra\" are ancient, but that doesn't make them attractive. Hindu yoga is filled with adepts who promote oddball practices, including drinking urine and running cloth through one's alimentary canal from one end to the other. I certainly find these tantra techniques physiologically interesting. But if i were a man i would not feel as if i had accomplished anything very useful, not to mention spiritual, if i had to manually squeeze myself every time i wanted to stop from coming. And as for retrograde ejaculation, well, the idea makes me cringe. I would most definitely not want to practice something so counter-biological, nor can i see how snuffling semen up into one's bladder could conceivably be expected to produce the psychological and metaphysical benefits its adherents claim for it. (I never was much for quaffing pee or stuffing towels down my esophagus, either.) Okay, you say, so if i don't like these particular techniques, what advice can i, a woman, give to a man about control of the male orgasm? That's a difficult question to answer. I could make the assumption that our neural systems are similar despite gender differences in circulatory hydraulics and tell you what some women do...or i could tell you what some of my male friends tell me they do. I guess i shall opt for the latter. This is a little slice of life i call: THE TRIP TO TEXAS or: REVELATION IN NORTH AUSTIN In the mid 1970s i met my first tantra lover. I had read about karezza and tantra since i was a teenager; he had read about tantra and other forms of yoga, including raja yoga, kundalini yoga, and so forth. We had been friends for about four years when it happened that both our marriages fell apart at the same time. We were all hippies living on rural subsistence farm communes in the Missouri Ozarks. His commune and mine were about 60 miles apart. Both of our partners were soon repartnered, and both of us continued to live on the communes with our ex-spouses and our children. Eventually, he and i decided to start up an affair. In the course of flirting (he'd come over to help our group plant potatoes), we got to talking about tantra -- and he said that his fondest wish was to try it. I said i felt the same way. For whatever reason of luck, grace, spiritual blessings from on high, or you name it, we were able to experience that form of union with no prior practice and having never even kissed each other prior to our first experiment. Perhaps we were just naturally lucky. I don't know. Well, he and i rocked on for quite a while, visiting each other regularly and exploring the heights of bliss (when we weren't quarreling over something or other). In 1976, about a year after we got together, we decided to hitchhike down to Austin, Texas, to visit my best friend Barry Carroll, a man i'd known back in my home state of California. He was married and had a child. My tantra lover and i hung out with his family for almost a week. While we were there, Barry said that he wanted to take us around North Austin, up by the lake, so we could view the terrain. As we were driving along the cliffs, admiring the fancy homes and interesting landscape, we got to talking about a magazine article my lover and i were co-writing about Alice Bunker Stockham, the originator of karezza. (It was eventually published in the New Age Journal.) Barry, who was a student of the occult, said he had read about some of this stuff in old books, but he wanted to know how one could really do it -- how a man could control his orgasms. I kinda shrugged and threw up my hands, but my lover said, \"Aw, all you do is relax your abdominal muscles and slow down your breathing. And you have to remain conscious, of course. That's all there is to it.\" I can still remember exactly where we were when this happened. We were rounding a curve. I looked at Barry and he just nodded. \"I get it,\" he said. And that was the end of the conversation. A day or two later, the three of us drove to the town of Fredricksburg, from whence we were to set off hitchhiking to visit my lover's cousin"}]}, {"num": 22, "subject": "Did you hear?", "response_count": 221, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Jan  6, 1999 (13:07)", "body": "\"The spirit is often most free when the body is satiated with pleasure; indeed, sometimes the stars shine more brightly from the gutter than from the hilltop.\" --W. Somerset Maugham"}, {"response": 2, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Jan  6, 1999 (17:45)", "body": "\"There will be sex after death; we just won't be able to feel it.\" --Lily Tomlin"}, {"response": 3, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Jan  8, 1999 (11:57)", "body": "\"Sex is an emotion in motion.\" --Mae West"}, {"response": 4, "author": "riette", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (04:02)", "body": "The Lily Tomlin one is hilarious! ha-ha! Where do you find these things?"}, {"response": 5, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (09:18)", "body": "oh, here and there..."}, {"response": 6, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (23:36)", "body": "\"Sex will outlive us all.\" --Samuel Goldwyn"}, {"response": 7, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (23:37)", "body": ""}, {"response": 8, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (23:39)", "body": "\"Lord, I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing!\" --Jonathan Swift"}, {"response": 9, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (23:41)", "body": "\"The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.\" --Havelock Ellis"}, {"response": 10, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Feb  9, 1999 (07:23)", "body": "The end of the male species as we know it. US5501650: Automated masturbatory device A variable speed motor powering a crankshaft driven sealed transducer producing pneumatically induced reciprocating motion of a receiver when a male organ is inserted. The present invention employs a hermetic system to prevent loss of synchronization. The receiver is designed with an inner liner compliant enough to accommodate a plurality of sizes and shapes of male penises. The present invention produces a stroke of approximately 3 inches at a frequency of up to 350 per minute."}, {"response": 11, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Feb  9, 1999 (17:28)", "body": "Thanks Paul for pulling me out of workmode today! I read that whole damn thing and didn't get it until the end! And at that I realized I was just 'a little' too focused on the job at hand (EXCUSE the pun!) took a lunch time walk and feel much better!"}, {"response": 12, "author": "wer", "date": "Sat, Mar  6, 1999 (14:23)", "body": "It was really fun and enjoyable. I want to do it again and again. Thanks!"}, {"response": 13, "author": "playcboe", "date": "Sat, Mar 13, 1999 (18:28)", "body": "In the early part of the century, medical doctors often manipulated the female genitals to orgasm as a standard cure for many problems. This lead to the creation of the vibratror, supposedly so the doctor wouldn't have to use his fingers."}, {"response": 14, "author": "playcboe", "date": "Sat, Mar 13, 1999 (18:29)", "body": "Ooops, I mis-spelled vibrator."}, {"response": 15, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, Mar 13, 1999 (23:44)", "body": "just as long as you don't mis-use one... Welcome, Robert!"}, {"response": 16, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Oct  7, 1999 (21:40)", "body": "OK, what happened to this topic? Did everyone give up talking about it for actually doing 'it'...?!"}, {"response": 17, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Mar 18, 2000 (19:26)", "body": "Suddenly, everything in this conference is off limits and I am still learning. Guess I have to learn about it on the streets 'cause I'm not hearing much in here. But, on topic: Big Haul of Contraband Condoms TIRANA (Reuters) - Police in southern Albania made a record haul of five million contraband condoms from Greece with a street value of $700,000, a daily reported Friday. The truck driver told police his cargo was exempt from customs duty as they were a gift from humanitarian groups to encourage safe sex among the impoverished Balkan nation's 3.3 million people, the Gazeta Shqiptare said. The condoms are being guarded by police while authorities decide what to do with them. Albania is trying to crack down on smuggling especially of fuel, cigarettes and coffee since customs duties account for some 60 percent of budget revenues."}, {"response": 18, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Mar 18, 2000 (19:32)", "body": "I was quoting Reuters...but I see i should be quoting someone notable and delicious to read...*grin*"}, {"response": 19, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Sun, Mar 19, 2000 (04:52)", "body": "17TH CENTURY CONDOMS AT MUSEUM Condoms made in the 17th century were on display at the British Museum in London for National Science Week. The sheaths, made of animal intestine, had to be softened in warm milk overnight before use. The condoms were found at Dudley Castle in the West Midlands in a keep latrine which was sealed when the Royalist castle was attacked by Roundheads."}, {"response": 20, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Mar 19, 2000 (12:33)", "body": "Amazing stuff our ancestors left behind thinking it would be gone forever. Wonder if they are gonna check them for DNA...! Thanks, Maggie! Fancy meeting you in this conference *grin*"}, {"response": 21, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Mar 19, 2000 (12:36)", "body": "Soak them over night? That took some planning unless the guys planned ahead?!"}, {"response": 22, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Sun, Mar 19, 2000 (13:32)", "body": "Wellll I thought that if you were here it shouldn't be too bad. Anyway I wanted to see what you were up to *grin* I bet the guys didn't soak em! guess who did. I'm off before i get caught!"}, {"response": 23, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Mar 19, 2000 (14:06)", "body": "Yup! The ones who stood the greatest risk, no doubt about it! No one shall ever know we were in here...much...*smile* I'm gonna sneak out unobserved, as well. See you in another topic!"}, {"response": 24, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Apr  6, 2000 (18:23)", "body": "Oh, what lies there are in kisses. ---Heinrich Heine Wanton kisses are the keys of sin. ---Nicholas Breton I spent five years in the air force, and if it wasn't for sexual harassment no one would have talked to me at all. An officer accused me of being a lesbian. I would have denied it, but I was lying naked on top of her at the time. ---Lynda Montgomery"}, {"response": 25, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Apr  8, 2000 (13:55)", "body": "This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. ---Vyvyan, The Young Ones"}, {"response": 26, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Apr 10, 2000 (14:55)", "body": "\"The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.\" --Tom Robbins"}, {"response": 27, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (11:57)", "body": "The Ramses brand condom is named after the great Pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children."}, {"response": 28, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (14:17)", "body": "sort of didn't work did it?"}, {"response": 29, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Apr 11, 2000 (23:03)", "body": "Maybe they named them W A Y after him ( and not just after him...too late to be of help in his case. But he sure was not a good advert! What are you doing up at this hour? I am just about to shut down. I have been naughty as you will no double see =?"}, {"response": 30, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (03:28)", "body": "(i posted it last night! it's now 9.30am and i've just got up) after his virility perhaps?"}, {"response": 31, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (10:46)", "body": "I think it is a good option...for example, if you don't use these you just might end up with 160 kids?! That oughta sell them if nothing else does!"}, {"response": 32, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (11:52)", "body": "do you know the old one about the bastards revenge - he works in a condom factory. (think about it) there were chocolate flavoured ones in the student union shop together with the other choccy shaped things."}, {"response": 33, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (13:40)", "body": "Well, for some ladies chocolate works almost as well as ...well, the other, but as much as I like chocolate, it does nothing like that for me. My problem perhaps or my good fortune?! This reminds me of a joke, but I think I will not mention it unless I can find it easily..."}, {"response": 34, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (13:41)", "body": "At the Student Union shop? Gives new meaning to Student Union, doesn't it?!"}, {"response": 35, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Wed, Apr 12, 2000 (14:46)", "body": "(even T. is chuckling!)"}, {"response": 36, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Apr 14, 2000 (20:57)", "body": "\"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.\" Helena in Shakespeare's A Midsummer-Night's Dream [I.i.234-235]"}, {"response": 37, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Apr 17, 2000 (14:58)", "body": "\"Come out of the circle of time / And into the circle of love.\" --Jalal ud-Din Rumi (1207-73)Persian poet, one of greatest Sufi poets"}, {"response": 38, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Apr 17, 2000 (22:28)", "body": "\"Lechry lechery! Still wars and lechry. Nothing else holds fashion.\" --Thersites in Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida [V.iii.231-3]"}, {"response": 39, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Apr 23, 2000 (21:07)", "body": "A professor was asked to give a talk on \"Sex\". When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, \"Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure . . .\" And he sat back down."}, {"response": 40, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Apr 23, 2000 (21:09)", "body": "Two old men were comparing their sex lives. First Guy - \"I can still do it twice!\" Second Guy - \"Impressive, which time is best?\" First Guy - \"I think the winter.\""}, {"response": 41, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Apr 23, 2000 (22:58)", "body": "\"Is there no military policy how virgins might blow up men?\" Helena in Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well (I.i.123-4)"}, {"response": 42, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Apr 23, 2000 (22:59)", "body": "He said that I would look more attractive if I were shaved. He said I would love the nakedness of it all. He said it was stylish. He said I would feel cleaner. He said it wouldn't hurt. He said he had been thinking about this for a long time. He said he would do it himself. He said he would be careful. He said he would go slow. He said was ready to begin. He said to lay down. He said that he would help me relax. He said he loved me. He said he felt like an artist. He said he was done. He said he adored the way it looked. He said he was pleased with his work. He said he wanted to show me off. He said he needed to take me out like this. He said that he wanted people to see me like this. He said we would have a most exciting day. He said he would be right back. He said he had to get his shoes on. * * * * I said... Well I didn't say anything. Poodles don't talk."}, {"response": 43, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, May  1, 2000 (22:06)", "body": "\"Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.\" --Steven Wright"}, {"response": 44, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May  3, 2000 (16:36)", "body": "Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex. --Karl Marx"}, {"response": 45, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May  7, 2000 (13:14)", "body": "Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... Wedding cake"}, {"response": 46, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May  9, 2000 (14:41)", "body": "Seduction School Trains Lonely Hearts PARIS (Reuters) - As spring blossoms in the world's most romantic city, the loneliest of hearts are paying for lessons in love. Frustrated Parisians are turning to classes at the city's School of Seduction where instructors promise to teach even the most timid men and homeliest women to approach the opposite sex with Casanova-like confidence. ``We teach men to dare,'' said Veronique Jullien, 42, the flamboyant founder and head of the school. After a psychological profile to identify potential weak points, candidates move on to one-on-one lessons or role-playing exercises with one of the school's several seduction coaches."}, {"response": 47, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May 10, 2000 (15:34)", "body": "Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. --Woody Allen"}, {"response": 48, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May 17, 2000 (21:07)", "body": "GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT The Student Assembly at New York's Binghamton State University has voted 23-7 in favor of a resolution that the campus video store stock more adult videos for students to rent. A school spokeswoman told the New York Post that university officials will consider the matter over the summer, but university president Lois DeFleur told the paper that if students want to rent porn videos they can go off-campus to get what they want. DeFleur told the paper the university is \"strongly opposed to censorship,\" but at the same time she does \"not feel that the university is obligated to make available all kinds of materials to students.\" The video store is run by students and uses no public funds, according to a university spokeswoman."}, {"response": 49, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (00:19)", "body": "\"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?\" - Lily Tomlin *** \"There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children and children love hamsters.\" - Alice Thomas Ellis *** \"I'm afraid I was very much the traditionalist. I went down on one knee and dictated a proposal which my secretary faxed over straight away.\" - Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie"}, {"response": 50, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (01:14)", "body": "OK, guys, the old man has gone to bed in the back bedroom with the door closed. I am alone here. Anyone wish to talk?"}, {"response": 51, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (02:20)", "body": ""}, {"response": 52, "author": "lance8", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (15:40)", "body": "Hey Springtail! Is the new name something for me to look forward too?"}, {"response": 53, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (15:53)", "body": "Indeed! I have missed you!"}, {"response": 54, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (15:53)", "body": "Btw, I am alone - wanna talk?"}, {"response": 55, "author": "lance8", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (15:58)", "body": "Yes. Where?"}, {"response": 56, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (16:02)", "body": "Either place - your choice. Both of mine are active."}, {"response": 57, "author": "lance8", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (16:04)", "body": "Should other eyes see? Or should we get off spring?"}, {"response": 58, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (16:07)", "body": "Probably off spring for personal stuff..."}, {"response": 59, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (16:09)", "body": "but multitask so we can check out your relative on History 8 and the Indigo pearls on Geo 18...."}, {"response": 60, "author": "lance8", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (16:14)", "body": "Marcia- Just got in a call on my IAM. Important enough that I need to call them back. I'll get back on line later. Bye for now."}, {"response": 61, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (16:16)", "body": "Bye, Sweetie!"}, {"response": 62, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 18, 2000 (18:27)", "body": "..sure wish I knew what an IAM is... I guess it means I AM not going to hear from him again very soon..."}, {"response": 63, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 21, 2000 (21:03)", "body": "Nope! It is Internet Answering Service - I just figured it out - duh! It lets you know if someone is trying to get through to you when your only house line is connected to your modem. Takes voice messages. Good idea! *** The clerk showed the guy the store's most expensive perfume. \"This is called 'Perhaps',\" said the sales clerk. \"It's $285 per ounce.\" \"Listen,\" the guy shot back, \"for $285 an ounce, I don't want something called 'Perhaps'; I want something called, \"You Can Bet Your Happy ASS You'll Get Some!\""}, {"response": 64, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Mon, May 22, 2000 (04:13)", "body": "He needed some pherenomes."}, {"response": 65, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, May 22, 2000 (23:04)", "body": "...for sure! 6 Presidents on a sinking boat......... Ford says: -What do we do? Bush says: -Man the lifeboats! Reagan says: -What lifeboats? Carter says: -Women first! Nixon says: -Screw the women! Clinton says: -You think we have time?"}, {"response": 66, "author": "Ruperbear", "date": "Mon, May 22, 2000 (23:48)", "body": "I love it!"}, {"response": 67, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 23, 2000 (00:31)", "body": "*grin* So did I..."}, {"response": 68, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 23, 2000 (15:59)", "body": "New Tax....on sex ! I think we could balance the Federal Budget if we taxed sex. Everyone would pay their share. Young people would pay more taxes and your tax liability would decrease as you got older. (some of us) It would also promote family values. How would you like to come home to your wife and have her ask, Honey, why is your tax bill larger than mine? Or be a teenager and come home to your dad standing there with your tax bill in his hand. We wouldn't have to pay people to work for the IRS, they would be paying to work there just so they could review peoples returns. Locker room conversations would change... Get a load of this tax bill! The forms would change a little also. We would now have a 1040Quickee. And it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase.. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. --Kramer Wetzel, home of the Texas Shakespeare Massacre http://www.astrofish.net"}, {"response": 69, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 23, 2000 (16:27)", "body": "I don't know where to put this, but in here seems safe - no one comes in here to see what I am posting... If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy!) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males' head off. (\"Honey, I'm home. What the....\") Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be pig...quality over quantity!) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez! I really didn't need to know that) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing...) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I really didn't need to know that either) An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too!) Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew? Who cares!)? Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about the pig?)"}, {"response": 70, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 23, 2000 (16:31)", "body": "*What has three teeth and sixty feet? The front row at a Willy Nelson concert."}, {"response": 71, "author": "wolf", "date": "Tue, May 23, 2000 (20:14)", "body": "*LOL* and apes also have sex for pleasure. too much discovery channel, what can i say?"}, {"response": 72, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 23, 2000 (20:16)", "body": "Yup!"}, {"response": 73, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May 24, 2000 (17:53)", "body": "Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker's Soul \"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.' \" -Jack Handy \"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.\" -Jack Handy \"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?\" -Stephen Wright \"He was a wise man who invented beer.\" -Plato \"Work is the curse of the drinking class.\" -Oscar Wilde \"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.\" -W.C. Fields \"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?\" -W.C. Fields \"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.\" -Frank Sinatra \"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.\" -William Butler Yeats \"People who drink light \"beer\" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.\" -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI \"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.\" -Homer Simpson \"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.\" -Ernest Hemingway \"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.\" -Ernest Hemingway \"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!\" -Brian O'Rourke \"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.\" -Kaiser Wilhelm \"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.\" -Dave Barry \"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.\" -Frank Zappa \"I drink to make other people interesting.\" -George Jean Nathan \"They who drink beer will think beer.\" -Washington Irving \"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.\" -Dave Barry \"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.\" -Mark Twain \"You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.\" -Edward Flaherty \"Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing.\" -Engineer's Motto \"Look alive. Here comes a buzzard.\" -Pogo, character in \"Pogo\", comic strip by Walt Kelly"}, {"response": 74, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 25, 2000 (12:48)", "body": "Let's see how many I can offend with this... What do you get when you cross a Chinese person and a hooker? Someone who'll suck your laundry clean."}, {"response": 75, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 25, 2000 (16:11)", "body": "In case you missed this little item I posted elsewhere on Spring... WHERE WAS THE FIRST HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION? The first such house on record may have been Ka-Kum, located in the city of Erech (or Uruk) in Sumer and dating back to about 300 B.C. The first brothels in Europe were located in Athens about 600 B.C. These nonprofit operations sanctioned by the leader Solon charged men 1 cent per visit."}, {"response": 76, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 26, 2000 (20:24)", "body": "\" When forced to choose between two evils, try the new one. \" --Unknown"}, {"response": 77, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 26, 2000 (23:36)", "body": "* Memorial Day Beer Troubleshooting * SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar."}, {"response": 78, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, May 27, 2000 (12:23)", "body": "Here are some pick-up lines that work every time!!!! (that's what they said...never been subjected to a pick-up line, actually!) 1. Baby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast. 2. Can I have fries with that shake! 3. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen. 4.When does your centerfold come out. 5. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. 6. Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope. 7. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. 8. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get."}, {"response": 79, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 28, 2000 (01:50)", "body": "Q: What is the difference between men and women:.... A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need... A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one."}, {"response": 80, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 28, 2000 (23:16)", "body": "Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearin one and got hit by a bus. ---Bob Rubin"}, {"response": 81, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 28, 2000 (23:36)", "body": "Never Merry woman with big hands, it makes your dick look smaller. ---Unknown"}, {"response": 82, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 28, 2000 (23:37)", "body": "The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor. \"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?\" The sperm nodded affirmatively. Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball. When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, \"Hi, I'm a sperm!\" The red sticky ball smiles and says, \"Hi. I'm a tonsil.\""}, {"response": 83, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 28, 2000 (23:42)", "body": "Q: What is the definition of \"Endless Love.\" A: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis."}, {"response": 84, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 30, 2000 (00:02)", "body": "\"President Clinton of the USA\" Anagram: \"To copulate he finds interns.\""}, {"response": 85, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, May 31, 2000 (01:10)", "body": "Warning signs that your lover is bored: 1. Passionate kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address. ---Matt Groening"}, {"response": 86, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Jun  4, 2000 (22:42)", "body": "\"The world wants to be cheated. So cheat.\" -- Xaviera Hollander"}, {"response": 87, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun  7, 2000 (18:22)", "body": "\"The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.\" -- Sloan Wilson"}, {"response": 88, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 10, 2000 (00:50)", "body": "* A group of athletes and administrators of the traditional Turkish sport of oil wrestling (grappling contests made more interesting by heavy applications of olive oil) protested to the government in April when they discovered that an organization of gay men was planning to attend a major tournament in July near the city of Edirne to ogle. (According to a Reuters news service reporter, \"Putting a hand down the opponent's trousers to get a better grip is a common tactic.\")"}, {"response": 89, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 10, 2000 (01:00)", "body": "Thought for the day : \" Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice. \""}, {"response": 90, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 10, 2000 (01:20)", "body": "In January, a Philadelphia city-funded community organization published a pamphlet on health and safety tips for prostitutes, which recommended always getting on top, negotiating price before getting into a car, and getting the money in advance. Also in January, a member of the Canadian Parliament released a list of recent pamphlets directly funded by the government, including \"How to Communicate With the Dead,\" \"How to Stimulate the G-spot,\" and \"How to Understand and Enjoy an Orgasm.\""}, {"response": 91, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Jun 11, 2000 (23:17)", "body": "Jewish foreplay is three hours of begging. Italian foreplay is \"Maria, I'm home.\" ---Milton Berle"}, {"response": 92, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jun 12, 2000 (19:22)", "body": "Oops! Two insurance salesmen who were lifelong friends were jumping up and down on their hotel bed in the Ramada Renaissance Hotel in Manchester after having a few drinks, pretending to be gay for a laugh from the two women they had brought to their room. Unfortunately, one of the men stumbled and both men bounced off the bed and through the nearby window, falling 100 feet to their deaths."}, {"response": 93, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jun 12, 2000 (19:25)", "body": "Chinese Proverbs 1. Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone. 2. Man who run in front of car get tired. 3. Man who run behind car get exhausted. 4. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. 5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. 6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 7. Man with one chopstick go hungry. 8. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. 9. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. 10. Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk. 11. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth. 12. War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left. 13. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. 14. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. 15. It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it. 16. Man who drive like hell bound to get there. 17. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. 18. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. 19. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. 20. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. 21. Crowded elevator smell different to midget."}, {"response": 94, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jun 14, 2000 (18:14)", "body": "Sorry - no good quotes lately....hope you enjoy this little story... A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for travelling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he was in a good mood that day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. \"Fred\" he replies. \"Fred what?\" the officer asks. \"Just Fred\" the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. \"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?\" The man replies... \"It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred.\" The officer let him go without even a warning."}, {"response": 95, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 17, 2000 (15:53)", "body": "The first recorded uses of condoms date back to 13th century BC in Egypt. They used oiled, animal bladders and intestines. There are some cave drawings in France dating back to 100 AD. Why the artist would memorialize condoms on cave walls is still a mystery."}, {"response": 96, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 17, 2000 (15:54)", "body": "+----------------- Bizarre Sexual Trivia ------------------+ Kellogg's Corn Flakes were invented by a Dr. Kellogg in hopes that they would reduce masturbation. Middle Eastern cave paintings reveal that men used to have sex with female crocodiles because they believed that it would make them rich and important. Erect giraffe penises are four feet long. Extra breasts - a condition called \"polymastia\" - are rare, but not entirely unheard of. In 1886 there were two women who each had ten breasts, all of which secreted milk. In eighteenth-century France, a woman named Madame Ventre, who lived in Marseilles, had a fully functioning, lactating breast that stuck out of her left thigh just below the waist. In April 1970, Gloria Sykes won a $50,000 judgment against San Francisco's transportation system for her injuries sustained in a cable car accident. The main crux of her argument revolved around the fact that she was now a nymphomaniac: she once had sex fifty times within a five day period."}, {"response": 97, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jun 19, 2000 (17:30)", "body": "\"A woman talks to one man, looks at a second, and thinks of a third.\" - Bhartrihari (ca. 625)"}, {"response": 98, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun 22, 2000 (19:02)", "body": "Recurring Themes One of the widely reported stories of 1993 was the Vinton, La., crash of a car containing 20 naked Pentecostals from Floydada, Texas, who had received word from God that they should discard all their worldly possessions to make it more difficult for Satan to catch up to them. In April 2000, in the Houston suburb of Sugar Land, a state trooper stopped a car containing three women and a 3-year-old girl, all of whom were naked and who told the officer that God had told them to burn their clothes, drive to Wal-Mart, and buy new clothes. Said the trooper, \"It's always something. No two days are the same in this job.\""}, {"response": 99, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun 22, 2000 (23:25)", "body": "Murder is a crime. Describing murder is not. Sex is not a crime. Describing sex is. ---Gershon Legman (b. 1917) American writer"}, {"response": 100, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 24, 2000 (21:23)", "body": "\"Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex.\" \"Okay sweetheart,\" the groom replied. \"Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter.\""}, {"response": 101, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jun 24, 2000 (22:11)", "body": "The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. --Lynn Lavner"}, {"response": 102, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun 29, 2000 (18:11)", "body": "Dutch researchers writing in an April British Medical Journal advocated that Viagra be dispensed for free in the Netherlands because, even though costly, Viagra enhances the quality of its users' lives even more, for example, than kidney transplants. In fact, according to the researchers' Quality-Adjusted Life Year measure, a dollar spent on Viagra brings twice as much benefit as a dollar spent on breast cancer screening."}, {"response": 103, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Jun 30, 2000 (15:13)", "body": "What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? \"OOOOOOH, I hope it's mine!\""}, {"response": 104, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jul  1, 2000 (19:14)", "body": "\"Get in good physical condition before submitting to bondage. You should be fit to be tied.\" - Robert Byrne \"Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.\" - R.A. Dickson"}, {"response": 105, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Jul  4, 2000 (16:03)", "body": "She was so wild that when she made French toast she got her tongue caught in the toaster. ---Rodney Dangerfield"}, {"response": 106, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Jul  4, 2000 (16:33)", "body": "--------------------- Fish and Chicks ---------------------- NEW YORK, NY - This sushi bar has more than raw fish to smell, as one of the hottest eateries in the Big Apple is a nude dining establishment. They feature the \"tushi\" roll and other delicacies. The establishment actually is also a swinging dance club where you can get table dances with your food. -------------- They'll Plump Your Pillows Too -------------- BUCHAREST, Romania - In order to increase business due to the economic depression, a group of Romanian prostitutes is trying to lure clients by offering to do household chores. So not only will they perform sexual favors for the clients, but they will make the bed afterwards and serve them breakfast. \"We had to invent something because people don't have money and clients are rare. After solving the sexual problem, the girls clean and cook for free. All on the house,\" said a \"sexual agent\" in Bucharest. It was not mentioned if the chores are performed in the nude or if the prostitutes do windows."}, {"response": 107, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Jul  4, 2000 (16:43)", "body": "---- Iran Transsexual Unhappy With Experience As Woman ----- TEHRAN - An Iranian man who recently had a sex change to become a woman wants to reverse the operation because she finds life as a woman insufferable in Iran, a newspaper said on Monday. The 25-year-old Maryam, formerly Mehran, underwent a sex change last year, despite strong parental opposition. But she soon regretted the decision, finding it difficult to cope with \"restrictions\" surrounding a woman's life in the conservative Islamic society. While almost everything else in Iran is illegal, sex change operations are, but there are no provisions for would-be transsexuals to test out their new identity first."}, {"response": 108, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jul  5, 2000 (14:56)", "body": "What is the difference between semen and mayonnaise? Mayo doesn't hit the back of your throat at 40 miles an hour."}, {"response": 109, "author": "CherylB", "date": "Thu, Jul  6, 2000 (18:02)", "body": "Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. \"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't,\" he stated in a phone interview from the Lawrenceville jail. Lawrence went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged \"need\". \"I guess I was just really into it, you know?\" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice the Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. \"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,\" said officer Taylor. \"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin.\" Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. \"I just went up and said, \"Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are making love to a pumpkin?\" He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, \"A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?\""}, {"response": 110, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jul  6, 2000 (18:24)", "body": "LOL Cheryl!!! This is THE place to post that!!!"}, {"response": 111, "author": "CherylB", "date": "Thu, Jul  6, 2000 (18:32)", "body": "Well he was drunk at the time. I love his response, \"A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?\" Most people would have been at a loss for words."}, {"response": 112, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Jul  7, 2000 (17:00)", "body": "That was a great comment to make...Inspired, actually! BOSTON, Massachusetts - In keeping with today's column, researchers have discovered that wearing tight fitting pants can actually act as an aphrodisiac. The science behind this claim seems to be that tight fitting pants increases blood flow to the loins and results in heightened sexuality."}, {"response": 113, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Jul  7, 2000 (17:10)", "body": "-- New Facts About British Sexuality: Apparently It Exists -- London - Britons need no longer hang their heads in shame, they're good at sex, and have a lot of it. This study, due out July 3, has exploded the myths surrounding British sexuality and destroyed the reputations of some other nations in the process. Here's the details: The average Brit has sex 2,580 times in his or her life with five different people, and some 42 percent of Britons manage a bit of sexual infidelity. Italians, long regarded as sex legends, are the least sexually active people in Europe... less than 100 times a year. And when they have sex it lasts less time than anywhere in Europe (14 minutes). Brazilians have the greatest endurance, with sex lasting an average of 30 minutes. Thailand produces sprinters who have sex the quickest (10 minutes on average)."}, {"response": 114, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jul  8, 2000 (00:17)", "body": "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, \"I know what I'm doing, just show me some naked women.\" ---Jerry Seinfeld"}, {"response": 115, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jul 12, 2000 (00:58)", "body": "Q: What's the difference between a 'Spice Girls' video and a porn video? A: The porn video has better music!"}, {"response": 116, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jul 12, 2000 (17:50)", "body": "WASHINGTON, DC - The Center For UFO Studies (CUFOS) has compiled a list of 13,528 US women who believe that they have been abducted by aliens. Of this amount, 1,501 women reported that their panties had been kept by the aliens. It has not been revealed for what sinister purpose these aliens are hording underwear."}, {"response": 117, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jul 12, 2000 (23:30)", "body": "Recurring Themes More Sex Crimes You'd Rather Not Know About: James Donald Ray, 39, convicted of molesting sheep (San Diego, May); Daniel Bruce House, 54, arrested for molesting a horse (Malibu, Calif., February); Jason Carl McRoberts, 19, arrested for molesting a lamb (Stewartstown, Pa., April); Roger Powell, 59, arrested for molesting a pig (Enfield, N.C., May), which he explained by pointing out that sex with his human girlfriend is undesirable because she is a \"crack whore.\""}, {"response": 118, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jul 26, 2000 (16:14)", "body": "Old\" is when your wife says \"let's go upstairs and make love,\" and youR answer, \"honey, I can't do both!\""}, {"response": 119, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Aug  2, 2000 (17:17)", "body": "New York, NY Maxim magazine reported recently that a new dining establishment is open in Manhattan called La Maison de Sade. They serve traditional French cuisine with not so traditional side \"dishes.\" For $20 a throw, you can have hot wax melted on your nipples, or order \"Spanking of a Slave\", \"Foot Worship\", and the ever popular, \"Public Humiliation.\""}, {"response": 120, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Aug  8, 2000 (12:53)", "body": "From the Sydney Morning Herald Australia comes this story of a couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have it breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head."}, {"response": 121, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Aug 16, 2000 (21:45)", "body": "Troy, NY - What do you do when you are drunk and want to hear someone talk dirty to you? Ask Harold Reinke. It seems that after a hard night of partying, he called a European 900 sex line that charged $9.95 per minute. There was only one problem. The inebriated Reinke fell asleep while getting an ear full and woke up hours later still connected. The bill? Only $7164."}, {"response": 122, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Aug 27, 2000 (14:48)", "body": "\"The five worst infirmities that afflict the female are indocility, discontent, slander, jealousy and silliness.\" -Confucian marriage manual"}, {"response": 123, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Aug 30, 2000 (15:21)", "body": "\"Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.\" --Carrie, Sex and the City on HBO"}, {"response": 124, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Sep  1, 2000 (01:05)", "body": "Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? A: Spit, swallow and blowing bubbles"}, {"response": 125, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Sep  3, 2000 (22:05)", "body": "Coffee Bar Sparks Caffeine-Condom Rush ROME (Reuters) - Italian espresso is supposed to give the drinker a lift, but it seems to be making some decidedly frisky. A coffee bar in the Italian beach resort of Sperlonga has taken to handing out free condoms with every cup it sells. ``It's a bit of fun, but also to make sure people protect themselves,'' the owner of the bar, The Pirate, told the newspaper Corriere della Sera, adding that a lot more young people had started drinking his coffee. More than 150 people a day have been whisking the condoms into their back pockets or handbags, according to the owner, but Sunday is apparently the busiest day of all. ``Who knows what they get up to,'' he said."}, {"response": 126, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Mon, Sep 11, 2000 (14:26)", "body": "The natural look is back! Just look around, from your favorite magazine divas, to the stars on television, women are showing-off their breasts with pride! bodyperks is the latest fashion accessory for your breasts. They make you look and feel wonderfully sassy. Give bodyperks a try - you'll be amazed at the reaction. What are bodyperks? They are lightweight, natural colored, silicon nipples that you insert into your bra and place directly on your own nipple. You can create your own look and wear them with tight t-shirts, sexy halters, dresses, twin sets, swimsuits and more. One size fits all as bodyperks were crafted to produce just the right amount of perkiness, regardless of breast size or shape. They will enhance the beauty of your breasts with the illusion of natural, erect nipples. The possibilities for fun are endless! Whether you're out on the town or playing volleyball, bodyperks comfortably stay in place and give you the added attraction of playful, fun breasts. You'll feel and look sexy! http://www.bodyperks.com/index-product.html check out 'perky encounters'!"}, {"response": 127, "author": "Carys", "date": "Mon, Sep 11, 2000 (17:35)", "body": "Would this be the female analogy to men stuffing socks in their briefs?"}, {"response": 128, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Sep 11, 2000 (21:30)", "body": "I think so!!! *lol*"}, {"response": 129, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Sep 11, 2000 (22:39)", "body": "To think I spent my childhood being told how to avoid this \"look\" on all occasions. Talk about mispent youths..."}, {"response": 130, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Tue, Sep 12, 2000 (03:18)", "body": "(why do you think I posted it!!!!! *grin*)"}, {"response": 131, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Sep 13, 2000 (15:32)", "body": "(yeahyeahyeah....) +----------------- Bizarre Sexual Trivia -----------------+ According to unsubstantiated sources: 55 percent of women say they've faked an orgasm at one time or another. 33 percent of women admit they moan in bed, 7 percent shriek and 13 percent laugh. The most popular sexual position is missionary, followed by the woman on top and \"doggie style.\" 58 percent of women cuddle after sex, but 8 percent just \"lie there silently.\" Only 4 percent think bicyclists have \"attractive physiques.\" 30 percent say swimmers have the sexiest bodies. 28 percent have the hots for gymnasts. 22 percent like volleyball players. But only 14 percent say sprinters get their hearts racing."}, {"response": 132, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Sep 20, 2000 (16:26)", "body": "SALEM TOWNSHIP, Pennsylvania - For the person that is always on the go, the Climax Gentleman's Club in Salem Township, near Pittsburgh, has been providing a drive thru peep show service since April. Drivers can pull up to a window at the back of the club and show proof that they are 18 or older and pay $5 per minute. Then they pull up to a second window and watch a nude dancer for the amount of time they paid for. According to Barbie, a stripper at the club, most customers pay for two to three minutes, but one man paid $100 for 20 minutes. Township supervisor Ed Gieselman helped write a 1998 ordinance to regulate strip clubs. He called the drive-through an advertising gimmick designed to generate publicity."}, {"response": 133, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Sep 22, 2000 (00:16)", "body": "\"Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.\" --Carrie, Sex and the City on HBO"}, {"response": 134, "author": "Carys", "date": "Sat, Sep 23, 2000 (12:51)", "body": "I can't disagree with that."}, {"response": 135, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Sep 23, 2000 (14:49)", "body": "*licking her singed fingers* I hear you! But, it is sooooooo enticing...!"}, {"response": 136, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Sat, Sep 23, 2000 (15:39)", "body": "Well, anyone tried the nipple falsies??? My girls convulsed with laughter over that one ..... Sig Other looked disapprovingly!!!"}, {"response": 137, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Sep 23, 2000 (22:05)", "body": "*shudder* Not in THIS lifetime!"}, {"response": 138, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Sun, Sep 24, 2000 (07:49)", "body": "Just teasing dear!!!"}, {"response": 139, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Sun, Sep 24, 2000 (07:57)", "body": "How to Relax on Your Wedding Night From your Honeymoons/Romantic Getaways Guide http://honeymoons.about.com/travel/honeymoons/c/ht/00/07/How_Relax_Wedding_Night0962934287.htm Your first night as a married couple may be different from the way you imagine it. Difficulty Level: Hard Time Required: all night -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here's How: 1. Accept the fact that wedding nights are perfect only in the movies. In most cases, you're either going to be exhausted from the event or totally wired. Neither is the best state of mind for the best sex of your life. So take the pressure off yourselves. 2. Shower and change into comfortable clothes. 3. If it feels right to you, and you still have out-of-town friends around, invite them to your honeymoon suite. 4. If that's the craziest advice you every heard, ignore it. 5. Order room service. 6. After the food and drink arrive, slip the \"do not disturb\" sign on your door. 7. Share with each other the high points of the wedding, and what you remember most. 8. Present a small gift to each other (see below for ideas). 9. Arrange a wake-up call if you need to catch a flight. 10. Don't rush things. Start with a massage, perhaps. And if the sex isn't the greatest thing you ever experienced, don't fret. You've got a lifetime to perfect it. Tips: 1. No children. Anywhere. 2. You'll remember this night for the rest of your life, so make the effort to make it special. 3. Unless you met on \"Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire,\" it will NOT all be over in the morning."}, {"response": 140, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Sep 25, 2000 (00:49)", "body": "OooH, Maggie! How I wish this had been around for me to tape to the bridge of someone's nose long ago. How remarkable and how wise at the same time. I'm going to send it to my newly-engaged son!"}, {"response": 141, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct  1, 2000 (00:08)", "body": "A 41-year-old German woman, who was arrested for shoplifting, told a judge that she only did it for sexual kicks. \"I have an orgasm whenever a department store detective discovers me stealing and grabs my shoulder from behind,\" the woman named only as Baerbel B. told a court in Neustadt am Ruebenberge. The arousal was so addictive that she would steal dog food, shoes, anything that would get her caught. She was allowed to walk three years ago for a similar offense, but this time Judge Harald Zimbehl decided enough was enough and sentenced her to 14 months. She was caught stealing a hammer drill worth around $120. [You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to cuddle-time. You have the right to sleep on the wet spot...]"}, {"response": 142, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct  1, 2000 (00:13)", "body": "Women will now have the choice of wearing the pant(ie)s in the family. It's a new female panty condom, called Janesway. The panties have a soft latex center that covers the exposed area and goes up inside. All a man has to do is slip into the latex part of Janesway that's inside the vagina. The Janesway company promotes that couples can look forward to uninterrupted lovemaking without having to stop to put on the condom, or worry about STDs. The Janesway will come in a variety of styles."}, {"response": 143, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct  1, 2000 (00:18)", "body": "MADRID, Spain - It was an embarrassing ordeal as one man's desire for safe sex got him stuck for four hours. After a long night on the town with his girlfriend, a 23-year old man put some coins into a condom machine outside a pharmacy. When nothing came out, the man pounded impatiently on the machine, then stuck his hand in the opening to try to pull the condom package out. Two of his fingers became caught inside. For the next few hours he was the brunt of humiliating comments from passers-by while he and his girlfriend tried unsuccessfully to pry his hand loose."}, {"response": 144, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct  1, 2000 (22:43)", "body": "Love is like the measles, all the worse when it comes late in life."}, {"response": 145, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct  8, 2000 (00:57)", "body": "It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities. In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, \"Oops, gotta run!\""}, {"response": 146, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Oct 17, 2000 (18:05)", "body": "French Scientists Map Sexual Arousal Area in Brain LONDON (Reuters) - French scientists have found a region of the brain that is strongly linked with sexual arousal in men, they said on Monday. By using a sophisticated scanning technique that monitors the flow of blood in the brain they discovered that an area called the claustrum is the most activated when men are aroused by photographs or short films. The claustrum is not the only area of the brain involved in sexual arousal but Jerome Redoute and his colleagues said it is an important one that could improve understanding of human sexual desire and lead to better treatment for people with sexual problems. ``The aim of the study was to show the brain region directly linked with visual sexual stimulation. We found that the activity of the claustrum was directly linked with the intensity of the sexual arousal,'' Redoute, of the Centre for Medical Research of Positron Emission Tomography (CERMEP) in Lyon, said in a telephone interview. The claustrum is a poorly understood area in the temporal lobe of the brain. Redoute's research, which is published in the journal Human Brain Mapping, is among the first to link it to sexual arousal. Redoute and his team used Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scans to map the blood flow in the brains of nine healthy heterosexual men while they looked at a series of photographs and short films ranging from tame to sexually explicit. They also monitored the men's blood pressure, heart rate and testosterone levels as they viewed the images. After each scan the men were also asked to assess the perceived sexual arousal and humour of what they had just seen. Other areas of the brain also reacted to the stimuli but the activity of the claustrum was most closely associated with the level of arousal. ``The claustrum, a region whose function has been unclear, displayed one of the highest activations,'' the researches said in the journal. ``There is now accumulating evidence of the involvement of the claustrum in motivational processes.'' Until now there have been very few, if any, studies concentrating on the role of visual imagery and sexual stimulation of the brain using sophisticated imaging techniques. ``It's important to know how the brain functions in healthy people to understand what happens when men have sexual problems,'' Redoute added."}, {"response": 147, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Oct 19, 2000 (19:05)", "body": "\"Is there no military policy how virgins might blow up men?\" Helena in Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well (I.i.123-4)"}, {"response": 148, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Oct 31, 2000 (19:18)", "body": "I had no idea where to put his so here it is: +---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+ ENGLAND Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated. It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store. Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin. Anal sex is prohibited. It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. In Chester, you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight."}, {"response": 149, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Nov  4, 2000 (23:16)", "body": "--------- Police Bust World's Most Gullible Hooker --------- KENT, Washington - This sounds like a beginning of a good blond joke. A woman was arrested for the 44th time after willingly climbing into a marked police car and admitting she was a prostitute. The officer pulled over to talk to the woman who was dressed in \"in a very short dress, stockings and high heels,\" and asked her for a price. She allegedly admitted to being a prostitute and said she'd take $40. The officer suggested the back of the patrol car and the woman told him she had a lifelong fantasy about uniformed police- men. When she hopped in, the deputy slammed the door, locking her in. She has reportedly been release on bail."}, {"response": 150, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Nov  9, 2000 (20:46)", "body": "\"My fianc\ufffde told me the rule of thumb on how much to spend on an engagement ring was two months' salary. So I moved to Haiti for a couple months, made a buck eighty. Nice plywood ring - no knots. I sanded it myself.\" ~ Barry Kennedy"}, {"response": 151, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Nov 23, 2000 (12:36)", "body": "Happy Thanksgiving, guys! Tavern Serves Up Turkey Testicles HUNTLEY, Ill. (Reuters) - A delicacy unlikely to grace Thanksgiving tables -- turkey testicles -- were gobbled up by the dozen at an Illinois tavern on Wednesday as part of the pub's pre-holiday tradition. Patrons of the Parkside Pub in Huntley feasted on more than 800 pounds of the nuggets that had been deep fried in a secret batter created by proprietor Mark McDonald, who began serving testicles the day before Thanksgiving nearly two decades ago. \"They taste something like a mushroom,\" bartender Martha Kagel said amid the noontime hubbub. \"I've had a couple already. They're good.\" Hoping to satisfy an expected crowd of 3,000, McDonald purchased more around 30,000 of the high-fat testicles from an Iowa turkey farm, which normally removes them from inside the birds for export."}, {"response": 152, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Nov 24, 2000 (11:37)", "body": "Herro, this is velly important: News Flash!! Japan sends U.S. 50,000,000 cases of Viagra!!! They heard that our country can't get have a good election."}, {"response": 153, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Nov 24, 2000 (12:12)", "body": "Rapidly gaining viewers in the competitive Moscow TV market is a program called \"The Naked Truth,\" on an obscure channel, which features straight news delivered by a 26-year-old female anchor, but who appears from time to time topless, or while undressing, or while being fondled on-camera. According to an October New York Times report, however, the station's policy is that any news of President Putin or other leading officials must be delivered while fully clothed."}, {"response": 154, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Dec  5, 2000 (22:08)", "body": "A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, \"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!!"}, {"response": 155, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Dec 12, 2000 (20:13)", "body": "Three men die in a car accident Christmas eve.They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something Christmassy. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a Christmas card, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture , St. Peter asks \"how do these represent Christmas?\" He answered, \"they're Carol's.\""}, {"response": 156, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Dec 15, 2000 (18:27)", "body": "\"Bill Clinton's legacy has come to pass as the only President sandwiched between two Bushes\" --John Burnett"}, {"response": 157, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Dec 26, 2000 (21:36)", "body": "--------- Over-sexed Seniors Romp At Nursing Home ---------- LONDON, England All of London was abuzz recently when nine residents of the Edith Scarborough Nursing Home were told that they must find a new place to live after they attempted a late-night orgy. That's right, they were caught in the recreation room attempting to have a sex party to the exotic sounds of the rumba music. Their ages ranged from 78 to 95. [At least they discovered additional uses for baby oil.]"}, {"response": 158, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Wed, Dec 27, 2000 (04:11)", "body": "They should get medals of honor, was this after a showing of Cocoon (the movie)?"}, {"response": 159, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Dec 28, 2000 (13:20)", "body": "Really!!! Here is the flip side: Police say that a 24 year old shoplifter was leaving a Bristol, England supermarket when he removed two lobsters from their tank and shoved them in his trousers. The man sprinted pass the stunned checkout girls, but came to a screeching halt when he felt the lobsters clutching his manhood. The thorney creatures were finally removed when emergency medics pried them loose with pliers. Doctors say the thief will fully recover from his frightening tangle with the lobsters, but he will never be a daddy. \"Basically it was a do it yourself vasectomy,\" said the doctor. \"The patient will be restored in time but will not be able to father children.\" The thief's painful prank landed him in the hospital where he is expected to remain for three or four weeks. But thanks to a kindhearted supermarket manager he will not be charged.\"The guy's gone through enough pain,\" said the manager. \"I think he's learned his lesson, I don't think he will steal again."}, {"response": 160, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Dec 28, 2000 (17:35)", "body": "--- Romanian Man Lends Support to Fight Against Impotency --- ROMANIA - A Romanian man has lent his \"support\" to the fight against impotency. Ioan Dumitru, from Ploiesti County, Prahova, has made a wooden scaffolding that holds the penis up in a specially designed pair of underpants. According to Dumitru, he has personally tested it and the penis remains erect even after the pants are taken off. He is keeping the price low because poor people also suffer from impotency. Dumitru concluded by stating, \"This is a revolution for the sex industry.\""}, {"response": 161, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Dec 31, 2000 (18:04)", "body": "The Bunny Died Sorry to bring you this tragic news! Today, the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 842 last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going, and going. \"Pinkie,\" as he was known to his friends and family, was alone at the time of his death. An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had put the bunny's batteries in backwards and he kep coming, and coming, and coming..."}, {"response": 162, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Jan  3, 2001 (17:10)", "body": "Real Condom Brands: 1. Billy Boy (Germany) 2. Enormex (U.K.) 3. Euroglider (Netherlands) 4. Happy Face (New Zealand) 5. Honeymoon Super Stimulation (Germany) 6. Jiffi Exciter (U.K.) 7. Licks (U.S.A.) 8. Mamba (Sweden) 9. Power Play (U.S.A.) 10. Skin Less Skin (Japan)"}, {"response": 163, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Jan  6, 2001 (21:41)", "body": "A female salamander inseminates herself. At mating time, the male deposits a jellylike substance containing the sperm. The female draws the jelly into herself. Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions. A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex."}, {"response": 164, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Jan 16, 2001 (16:26)", "body": "\"Insurance Companies\" 1st Insurance man - sleeps with own wife That's \"Home Insurance\" 2nd Insurance man - sleeps with girl friend That's \"Mutual Benefit' 3rd Insurance man - sleeps with chorus girl That's \"New York Life\" 4th Insurance man - sleeps with secretary That's \"Employees Mutual Benefit\" 5th - Insurance man - sleeps with hotel maid That's \"Travelers aid\" 6th - Insurance man - sleep with woman next door That's \"Royal Neighbors\" 7th - Insurance man - sleeps with old maid That's \"Prudential\" 8th - Insurance man - sleeps with grandma That's \"Old Age Assistance\" 9th - Insurance man - sleeps with nobody That's \"John Hancock\" 10th - Insurance man - sleeps with anybody That's \"Metropolitan\" 11th - Insurance man - sleep with boyfriend That's \"Odd Fellow\" 12th - Insurance man - sleeps with Charlie McCarthy That's \"Lumberman's Mutual\" In case anyone gets pregnant from all of this, That's \"Industrial Accident\""}, {"response": 165, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Feb  7, 2001 (15:29)", "body": "+----------------- Bizarre Sexual Trivia ------------------+ In many cultures, an unmarried woman is considered a virgin, even if she's a prostitute. It's only after marriage that she loses her virginity. According to the Kinsey Report, half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal. The name of Wyoming's Grand Tetons mountain range literally means \"Big Tits\". White women and those women with a college degree in partic- ular are the most receptive to anal sex. 55 percent of women say they've faked an orgasm at one time or another. 33 percent of women admit they moan in bed, 7 percent shriek and 13 percent laugh. The most popular sexual position is missionary, followed by the woman on top and \"doggie style.\" Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions."}, {"response": 166, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Feb 26, 2001 (19:48)", "body": "Israeli Guido, an intelligence officer from Isreal, is out picking up chicks in Tel Aviv. While at his favourite bar, he manages to attract one rather nordic looking blonde woman. So they're back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. Proud of his rugged background and years in the IDF, he forces himself to last as long as possible. He climaxes loudly. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, \"So .... you finish?\" After a slight pause she replies, \"No.\" Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, and has his way with her again, this time lasting even longer than the last... and this time completing the deed with even louder shouts. Again he rolls over, lights a cigarette, and asks, \"So ..... you finish?\" And again, after a short pause, she simply says \"No.\" Stunned, but still acting reflexively on his macho pride, he once again puts out the cigarette, and mounts his companion du jour. This time, with all the strength he could muster up, he barely manages to end the task, but he does, after quite some time and energy is spent. Barely able to roll over, he reaches for his cigarette ... lights it again, and then asks, \"So ... you finish?\" To which her pleasured reply is, \"No. I'm Swedish.\""}, {"response": 167, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Tue, Feb 27, 2001 (07:07)", "body": "She's from Sveeeeeden."}, {"response": 168, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Feb 27, 2001 (15:57)", "body": "uh huh!!! Disclaimer: The poster of the following does not espouse the thoughts the men are expressing! When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy. When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him. But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he's unzipped."}, {"response": 169, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Apr 15, 2001 (23:23)", "body": "Great News Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day: The first worm -- dead Second worm -- dead Third worm -- dead Fourth worm -- alive Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms."}, {"response": 170, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 10, 2001 (16:28)", "body": "shakespearean Pick-up lines Shakespeare's pickup lines - \"Of course, 'Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady.\" \"Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?\" \"If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?\" \"Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?\" \"My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent.\" \"Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean.\" \"Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?\" \"Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast eyes upon thy beauty!\" \"Wouldst thou away to yon Motel 6 with me?\" \"Do me, or not do me. THAT is the question.\""}, {"response": 171, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, May 10, 2001 (16:32)", "body": "sorry - it was all I could find and this place is dead at the moment. *sigh*"}, {"response": 172, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, May 10, 2001 (23:34)", "body": "Keep plugging."}, {"response": 173, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (10:52)", "body": ":-) very good!"}, {"response": 174, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (11:52)", "body": "Ahhhh, it's nice to know there are discerning browsers out there! \"Organizers of the first 'National Orgasm Week' held this year were very disappointed with the results obtained. It seems at least three-quarters of the women polled just pretended to celebrate it.\" ---Unknown"}, {"response": 175, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (11:55)", "body": "Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? ---Unknown"}, {"response": 176, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (11:59)", "body": "Where else on earth but in Texas where everything has to be BIGGER?! HOUSTON, Texas - A new non-surgical breast enlargement gadget will be available in the United States this month. The Brava system focuses mainly on a computerized bra that the woman must wear ten hours a day for ten weeks. The two plastic cups, which reportedly induce cell growth, are linked to a computer. The cups pull the breast tissue like the suction of a vacuum. The system will cost form $2000 to $2500, and according to a doctor overseeing the testing, each participant experienced an increase in cup size."}, {"response": 177, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:06)", "body": "I can pull breast tissue like the suction of a vacuum, and I can do it for a hell of a lot less than $2000 per cup ;-)"}, {"response": 178, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:07)", "body": "Hmmm...since I have a texan and an Englishman reading this efidying stuff: An Englishman, an American and a Texan are called upon to take a lie detector test. The Englishman says: \"I think I can empty 20 bottles of wine\". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. \"Ok\", he says, \"10 bottles\". And the machine is silent. The American says: \"I think I can eat 15 hamburgers\". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. \"Allright, 8 hamburgers\". And the machine's silent. The Texan says: \"I think...\", BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ goes the machine."}, {"response": 179, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:08)", "body": "I was just thinking along those lines. Much more satifying, one would think with that personal \"touch\"... Way to go, Mike!"}, {"response": 180, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:14)", "body": "I like to give my breast-enhancement clients a very, very personal service :-) Although, I have to say, the object of my trip to Paris last weekend required no breast-enlargment / -enhancement whatsoever ;-)))"}, {"response": 181, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:20)", "body": "Paris? In the spring? Surely you could *Squeeze* in a little cross-channel personal contact...*sigh* Sounds sooooo romantic!"}, {"response": 182, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:42)", "body": "In a recent FDA study, identical doses of Viagra were administered weekly to an equal number of doctors and lawyers. While the majority of the doctors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, the lawyers simply grew taller."}, {"response": 183, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, May 11, 2001 (12:58)", "body": "Hormone Hostage Guide The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other. DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you! DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe."}, {"response": 184, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, May 12, 2001 (07:08)", "body": "-- New Facts About British Sexuality: Apparently It Exists -- London - Britons need no longer hang their heads in shame, they're good at sex, and have a lot of it. This study, due out July 3, has exploded the myths surrounding British sexuality and destroyed the reputations of some other nations in the process. Here's the details: The average Brit has sex 2,580 times in his or her life with five different people, and some 42 percent of Britons manage a bit of sexual infidelity. Italians, long regarded as sex legends, are the least sexually active people in Europe... less than 100 times a year. And when they have sex it lasts less time than anywhere in Europe (14 minutes). Brazilians have the greatest endurance, with sex lasting an average of 30 minutes. Thailand produces sprinters who have sex the quickest (10 minutes on average)."}, {"response": 185, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, May 13, 2001 (11:23)", "body": "That's an interesting set of stats regarding British sexuality. I would have to say, having had sex with both American girls and English ones, the English ones were far more open-minded, enthusiastic and generally talented. It seems to me that, deep-down, American girls have a very puritanical opinion about sex. I've just discovered that French girls aren't too bad either ;-)"}, {"response": 186, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, May 13, 2001 (21:44)", "body": "Oh Mike - don't tar us all with the same brush. I heard Englishmen were lousy lovers but I know that cannot be all of them! Neither is it for American women. Trust me on this - I can name names! Congrats on your international addition!"}, {"response": 187, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, May 13, 2001 (23:09)", "body": "I guess I don't have a completely representative example...I'll just have to go out and find more victims. I mean, willing partners ;-)"}, {"response": 188, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, May 14, 2001 (15:43)", "body": "A man doing market research knocking on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small chirldren running around at her feet. He said, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?\" She said,\" Yes. My husband and iuse it all the time.\" \"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?\" \"We use it for sex\" The researcher was a little taken aback. He said,\"Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, i know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?\" The woman said, \"I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and i put it on the door knob, and it keeps the kids out."}, {"response": 189, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, May 14, 2001 (15:44)", "body": "Receptivity always enhances the expereice. Don't forget the vaseline for the door knobs!"}, {"response": 190, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, May 14, 2001 (22:49)", "body": "Good one."}, {"response": 191, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, May 15, 2001 (14:27)", "body": "Why E-mail Is Like a Penis 1. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. 2. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior. 3. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it. 4. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call \"Email Envy.\" 5. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done. 6. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun. 7. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses. 8. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently. 9. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. 10. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble. And the last reason is.... 11. If you play with it too much, you go blind."}, {"response": 192, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Tue, May 15, 2001 (16:53)", "body": "very good :-)) enjoyed that one"}, {"response": 193, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jun 21, 2001 (03:25)", "body": "I suspect there were more than a few lurkers who did, as well. I am enough of a lady to know better but could not resist sharing that one! Glad you enjoyed!"}, {"response": 194, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Jul 19, 2001 (20:51)", "body": "THE MOST DANGEROUS SNAKE IN THE WORLD NAME: \"Expecteria Trouserius\" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION: Throughout the entire world DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly dangerous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) * Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species. SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen! HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow. SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM : 1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. 2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. 3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. 4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. 5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes. CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet..."}, {"response": 195, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Tue, Jul 31, 2001 (06:52)", "body": ":-)"}, {"response": 196, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Aug  5, 2001 (22:38)", "body": "It's nice to be appreciated! *;)"}, {"response": 197, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Aug 18, 2001 (21:00)", "body": "Q: Did you here about the great VIAGRA robbery. Three men are being sought for stealing a truckload of the new wonder drug! A: Police are searching for three hardened criminals!"}, {"response": 198, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Aug 23, 2001 (15:55)", "body": "CUCKOO CLOCK The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... \"promise!\" Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought! Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, \"Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'oh f**k,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more.... then threw up.\""}, {"response": 199, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Aug 25, 2001 (14:50)", "body": "A newlywed couple are in their hotel room getting ready to have sex again, when the guy says to his bride, \"Honey, this time I want to have anal sex.\" \"Can you get pregnant doing that?\" she asked. \"Of course you can,\" he replied, \"where do you think lawyers come from?\""}, {"response": 200, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, Aug 25, 2001 (22:38)", "body": "hehehehe...that one made me laugh out loud :-)"}, {"response": 201, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Aug 29, 2001 (16:17)", "body": "Delighted you appreciate lawyers as much as the rest of us do! A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared; and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand; and boom, she had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, \"Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than I.\" The fairy picked up her wand; and boom, he was 90."}, {"response": 202, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Aug 29, 2001 (17:46)", "body": "RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES OF THE WORLD IN A NUTSHELL Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it. Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me? Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit? Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage. Hinduism: This shit happened before. Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit."}, {"response": 203, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Aug 30, 2001 (13:17)", "body": "SEX!!!!! What do I know about sex? I'm a married man.\" Tom Clancy \"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.\" Steve Martin \"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good.\" Woody Allen \"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,you'd better have a good hand.\" Unknown \"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.\" Rodney Dangerfield \"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.\" Bill Kelly \"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen.\" Rev. Sydney Smith \"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.\" Woody Allen \"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.\" George Burns \"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.\" Matt Barry \"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.\" Drew Carey \"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.\" Camille Paglia \"Life is a sexually transmitted disease.\" Unknown \"My kid had sex with your honor student.\" Bumper Sticker \"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.\" Woody Allen \"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.\" George Burns \"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.\" Henry Miller \"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.\" Lynn Lavner \"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 600SL convertible.\" P. J. O'Rourke"}, {"response": 204, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Aug 31, 2001 (16:34)", "body": "Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. \"Oh, my,\" said the bunny, \"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am.\" \"It's quite okay,\" replied the snake. \"Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you.\" \"Oh, that would be wonderful,\" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, \"Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny.\" \"Oh, thank you! Thank you,\" cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, \"Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me.\" So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, \"Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, a lawyer, or possibly someone in upper management.\""}, {"response": 205, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Sep  2, 2001 (13:57)", "body": "Bumper Stickers -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- 1. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an ass. 2. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! 3. Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date! 4. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 7. Hang up and drive. 8. Impotence: Nature's way of saying \"No hard feelings\" 9. Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends 10. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted. 11. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself. 12. The proctologist called, they found your head. 13. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. 14. Some people just don't know how to drive. I call these people \"Everybody But Me.\" 15. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me. 16. Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one."}, {"response": 206, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Sep  3, 2001 (19:47)", "body": "A man is driving down the road and sees a sign saying... SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES He thinks it was a figment of his imagination - and drives on. Soon, he sees another sign which says... SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES Realizing these signs are for real, he drives on, and sure enough, there is a third... SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - NEXT RIGHT His curiosity gets the best of him, and he pulls into the driveway. On the far side of the parking lot, is a somber stone building with a sign on the door that reads... SISTERS OF MERCY He climbs the steps, rings the bell, and the door is answered by a nun in a long black habit, who asks... \"What may we do for you my son?\" \"I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing some business,\" he answers. \"Very well, my son. Please follow me,\" says the nun. He is led through many winding passages, and soon he is very disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, \"Please, knock on this door\" and leaves. The man does as he is told, and this door is opened by another nun in a long black habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs: Please place $50.00 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway.\" He places the money in this nun's tin cup. He trots eagerly down the hallway, and slips through the door, which slams shut. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: \"Go in Peace. You have just been fornicated by the Sisters of Mercy.\""}, {"response": 207, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Sep  8, 2001 (16:36)", "body": "Did you ever wonder where the saying \"you gotta' be shittin'me!\" came from? Well, in a contemporary account from the Revolutionary War comes the answer. When George Washington and his troops were crossing the Delaware River, they were packed tightly into their boats. It was extremely dark and storming furiously as they were tossed back and forth with little visibility. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters and stationed him in the prow of the boat with a lantern. He ordered Peters to swing it back and forth so they could see where they were going. Corporal Peters stood up braving the wind and driving rain, swinging the lantern back and forth. After a while, a big gust of wind hit the boat and knocked Corporal Peters and his lantern over the side and into the cold waters of the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for almost an hour for Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible for Peters had been one of the favorite non-coms of the ragged force. When Washington and his troops landed on the far shore sometime later, they were wet, sad and totally exhausted. However, the General rallied the troops and told them they must go on. Finally, when Washington and his troops began to feel there was no way they could go any further, one of his men cried out, \"General, I see lights ahead!\" They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge brightly lit house in the middle of the woods. What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in the forest to serve all who came. General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The door swung open and the proprietress looked out to see Washington and all his men standing there. A huge smile spread across her face to see so many potential customers standing there. Washington spoke up, \"Madam, I am General George Washington of the Continental Army and these are my men. We are tired and exhausted and desperately in need of warmth and comfort for a while.\" Again the madam looked out at all the men standing there and with a broad smile on her face said, \"Well, General, you have come to the right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?\" Washington responded, \"Well, Madam, there are thirty-two of us without Peters.\" The proprietress in a tone of total disbelief cried out, \"You gotta' be shittin' me!\""}, {"response": 208, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Sep 10, 2001 (23:26)", "body": "Social Security... A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for his benefits. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. \"I will have to go home and comeback later.\" The woman says, \"Unbutton your shirt.\" So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, \"That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,\" and she processed his social security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She said, \"You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability too.\" (Thanks to DB for this one!)"}, {"response": 209, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Sep 13, 2001 (21:18)", "body": "Jsk, thanks for this one. WHY MEN ARE NOT SECRETARIES Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: Someone from the Guyna College called. They said Pabst beer is normal."}, {"response": 210, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Sep 18, 2001 (17:07)", "body": "Jsk strikes again. This bit of intelligence is from him with thanks from me: STRANGE SEX LAWS 1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. 2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. 3. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. 4. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. 5. There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside ! and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. 6. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. 7. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. 8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. 9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. 10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only \"in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.\""}, {"response": 211, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Sep 24, 2001 (13:30)", "body": "Observations on Sex... * \"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man.\" Tom Clancy * \"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.\" Steve Martin * \"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.\" Drew Carey * \"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good.\" Woody Allen * \"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.\" Unknown * \"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.\" Rodney Dangerfield * \"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.\" Bill Kelly * \"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen.\" Rev. Sydney Smith * \"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.\" Woody Allen * \"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children.\" Sam Austin * \"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.\" George Burns * \"I can remember when riding motorcycles was dangerous and sex was safe.\" Unknown * \"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.\" Matt Barry * \"Life is a sexually transmitted disease.\" Unknown * \"My kid had sex with your honor student.\" Bumper Sticker [I think this was my pick of the bunch!] * \"My sexual preference is not you.\" T-shirt * \"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.\" Michael Sinz * \"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.\" Woody Allen * \"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.\" George Burns * \"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.\" Henry Miller * \"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.\" Lynn Lavner * \"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.\" P. J. ORourke"}, {"response": 212, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Sep 25, 2001 (19:14)", "body": "Old Rafferty married a young lady 30 years his junior and soon afterward died of a heart attack -- leaving the poor girl penniless. Rafferty's friends and neighbors decided to hold a raffle to raise money for the young widow. McCarran, the chairman, met Calhoon coming out of a saloon. \"We're having a big raffle for the widow Rafferty,\" said McCarran. \"How about buying a ticket?\" \"I'd sure like to, but I couldn't,\" said Calhoon. \"My wife wouldn't let me keep her even if I won her!\""}, {"response": 213, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Oct  9, 2001 (18:46)", "body": "THE FARMER One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, \"Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?\" \"Hey, thanks!\" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, \"Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?\" The farmer said, \"Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.\" The little old lady said, \"I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?\" The farmer said, \"Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?\" The lady said, \"Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.\""}, {"response": 214, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Oct 23, 2001 (20:30)", "body": "my non-PC offering for the season.. Why are the Arab terrorists so quick to commit suicide? Let's see now: No premarital sex. No oral sex ever. No booze. No titty bars. No playboy channel. No organized sports of any kind to speak of. Hooters. \"What is this Hooters of which you speak!\" Damned sand everywhere. Ever fish at an oasis? Rags for clothes and hats. Eating with your right hand only cause you wipe your ass with your left. Constant wailing from the asshole next door, no wait, is that music? Shit can't tell. Bar-B-Q cooked over camel dung. Prayer five times a day. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veil's. Oh, and by the way when you die it all gets better! No wonder suicide is a blessing to them !!!!!!!"}, {"response": 215, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Nov 24, 2001 (19:24)", "body": "From my favorite poubelle (guess what they say about Texas is true!) A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of \"WOW\"! were heard. A woman faints due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, \"Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?\" The proud father answers, \"Seventeen pounds.\" The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. \"What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth.\" The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, \"Had him circumcised\""}, {"response": 216, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Dec  9, 2001 (18:50)", "body": "IMPORTANT NOTICE Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be more alert and cautious when accepting a drink offer from a woman. There is a date rape drug going around called \"beer\" and it appears in liquid form. The drug is being used by female sexual predators at parties to persuade male victims to have sex with them. \"Beer\" is available virtually anywhere. All a woman has to do is persuade a guy to consume a few units of \"beer\" and simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against such attacks. After several \"beers\" men will often succumb to performing sex acts on horrific looking women who they would never normally be attracted to. Men often wake up after having \"beer\" with only hazy memories of what happened to them the night before - just a vague feeling something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men might be conned into a familiar scam known as \"a relationship\" - apparently men are easier victims for this scam after the \"beer\" has been administered and they have already been sexually attacked. Forward this alert to every male you know..........However, if you fall victim to this insidious drug and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open manner with a bunch of similarly affected victims. For your nearest support group, look up \"Taverns\" in the yellow pages."}, {"response": 217, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Dec 13, 2001 (17:55)", "body": "From jsk with thanks for assisting in my corruption... Rubber thingy An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, \"If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip.\" The old man snaps back, \"Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today.\""}, {"response": 218, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Dec 23, 2001 (20:27)", "body": "Merry Christmas from a gentleman who will remain anonymous... WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN MEN 1. A Christmas tree is always erect. 2. Even small ones give satisfaction. 3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights. 4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even when it's lit. 5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size. 6. A Christmas tree has cute balls. 7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls. 8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out. 9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year 10. You only have to feed/water it once a week. 11. It's always there to light up your life. 12. It gets turned on only when you want it turned on. 13. It always smells nice and doesn't pass gas. 14. If it needles you, you can toss it out. 15. It doesn't ask you to have little Christmas trees."}, {"response": 219, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Jan 28, 2002 (16:10)", "body": "An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life they should cut out sex. He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation. One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, \"I was coming up to die.\" She laughed and replied, \"I was coming down to kill you!\""}, {"response": 220, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Feb 21, 2002 (20:17)", "body": "A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, \"Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day.\" Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, \"I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy.\" The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. \"What are you doing here?\" the captain asked. \"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,\" she explained. \"I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me.\" \"He certainly is,\" the captain said. \"This is the Staten Island Ferry.\""}, {"response": 221, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Mar 26, 2003 (20:46)", "body": "Here goes my sterling reputation, but these were too good to leave to cyber anonymity: Tatu say they have sex three times a day Lesbian pop duo Tatu claim they have sex with each other three times a day. 08:37 Tuesday 25th March 2003 Swede lost temper after finding girlfriend in bed with three men A Swedish man lost his temper when he came home to find his 51-year-old girlfriend in bed with three other men. 14:08 Monday 24th March 2003 Drivers 'put sexual thrills ahead of safety' Drivers are said to be putting behind-the-wheel sexual thrills above safety, according to a study. 11:57 Monday 24th March 2003 Kama Sutra manual to go on stage Two actors are to perform every position in the Kama Sutra in a controversial new play inspired by the sex guide. 11:11 Monday 24th March 2003 'Kidnapped' wife found in bed with another man An Italian who reported his wife had been kidnapped was shocked when police found her in a hotel bedroom with another man. 14:18 Thursday 20th March 2003 Women jeer strippers hidden by tiny stage Hundreds of Belgian women jeered a group of Canadian male strippers because they could only see their heads. 12:09 Thursday 20th March 2003 German man's embarrassing vacuum dilemma A German man had to call the emergency services after an embarrassing incident involving a vacuum cleaner. 10:28 Thursday 20th March 2003 Prostitute board game hits the streets A new Italian board game lets players take on the role of immigrant prostitutes enslaved by the mafia. 09:23 Wednesday 19th March 2003 Police seize Love Bus in Uruguay A Love Bus that offered young couples a cheap place to have sex in Uruguay has been seized by the police. 13:35 Tuesday 18th March 2003 New Thai police uniform 'too sexy' Policemen in Thailand are being sexually harassed by women and gay men because of their tight uniforms. 12:00 Wednesday 12th March 2003 Plenty more at the bottom of page http://www.ananova.com/news/index.html?keywords=Sex+life&menu=news.weirdworld.sexlife sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 3, "subject": "Who do you have the hots for?", "response_count": 24, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "Mixu", "date": "Mon, Dec 16, 1996 (09:11)", "body": "To women with just the right kind of carrot-read hair. And no artificial one, please. There are some other shades of red I practically hate."}, {"response": 2, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Dec 17, 1996 (20:55)", "body": "You don't like it if it's too bright?"}, {"response": 3, "author": "yairl", "date": "Tue, Dec 24, 1996 (19:46)", "body": "TO A GROWN UP WOMAN WITH A BODY OF A SEXY GIRL"}, {"response": 4, "author": "smartalec", "date": "Thu, Dec 26, 1996 (09:58)", "body": "For someone who oozws sexyness"}, {"response": 5, "author": "Jurilian", "date": "Fri, Dec 27, 1996 (08:30)", "body": "It is very good"}, {"response": 6, "author": "pelles", "date": "Sat, Jun 21, 1997 (12:55)", "body": "Woopy Goldburg, Great personality and beutiful shine in her eyes."}, {"response": 7, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (15:16)", "body": "Men with lots and lots of grey stuff!"}, {"response": 8, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (15:16)", "body": "Men with lots and lots of grey stuff between their ears. Intellect really turns me on!"}, {"response": 9, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (21:41)", "body": "doh....another topic to do the Claire thing in? Shall I? Shan't I? No...I think i'll save you all from it :-)"}, {"response": 10, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sun, May 10, 1998 (02:13)", "body": "You puzzle me . . ."}, {"response": 11, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (13:49)", "body": "It's okay Riette... Mike puzzles us all! *smile* Welcome to the Spring!"}, {"response": 12, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (18:58)", "body": "click here to find out about the Claire thing, Riette :)"}, {"response": 13, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (01:14)", "body": "Hi, Stacey! I find the interaction between you and the Kitchen Man very funny. Glad to make your aquaintance. Mike, my computer does not WANT me to find out about Claire . . . its covering for you. No, it says I need some sort of authorization - does that mean I have to go ask my dad?"}, {"response": 14, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, May 15, 1998 (17:15)", "body": "*laugh* Riette, thanks for the comic relief... WER and I get tired of carrying the load! (just kidding everyone!)"}, {"response": 15, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sat, May 16, 1998 (16:18)", "body": "hearty Ha-HA!"}, {"response": 16, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, May 27, 1998 (06:04)", "body": "So, what sort of men do you go for, Stacey?"}, {"response": 17, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, May 27, 1998 (06:04)", "body": "odd question. I don't know that there is a sort but typically the men I date have certain similar qualities: humor intelligence (not only the ability to compute but the ability to apply) creativity (in thought, word, action or *gasp* downright artistic talent) manic/depressive (hey! as long as I'm being candid!) broad shouldered warm aloof active \u001b[1~It's hard to say... after 3 1/2 years, Mr. B's traits are so inherently... there. I sometimes have to really think about correlations between past and present. umm... lest I sound too cliche... sensitive. Sometimes this is indeed more irritating than not (as I often hurt feelings then) but I like the deep/personal side."}, {"response": 18, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, May 28, 1998 (00:41)", "body": "Hmm . . . I like that too. Mr. C. is also quite protective; though I don't need it, and though at times it drives me nuts, I love him for it. And he's got a really neat bum."}, {"response": 19, "author": "jertman92", "date": "Sun, Oct  8, 2000 (14:15)", "body": "I like girls with just the perfect dirty blond hair falling to the shoulders. Hazel eyes and beautiful lips and a nose. A girl with long smooth legs and breasts the size of watermelons. I also like girls who aren't afraid to wear a skirt with a slit a little to high and a girl who isn't afraid to wear no bra. A girl with a good personaility with that appearance is perfect."}, {"response": 20, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct  8, 2000 (21:34)", "body": "Aloha Kevin! What do you have to offer this incredibly endowed lady who dresses just so for you??"}, {"response": 21, "author": "Carys", "date": "Sat, Oct 14, 2000 (10:40)", "body": "I love a man who can cook."}, {"response": 22, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Oct 14, 2000 (12:49)", "body": "Me too...and one who will, also! Know a few, actually - gentlemen all."}, {"response": 23, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Sat, Oct 14, 2000 (16:28)", "body": "I love a man who can laugh at himself ..and make me laugh too ...at myself ..and just for fun."}, {"response": 24, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Oct 15, 2000 (14:21)", "body": "Yes, but so very few are (former)members of the US Marine Corps! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 4, "subject": "Best music for making love", "response_count": 45, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "CrazedLoc", "date": "Mon, Dec 23, 1996 (01:21)", "body": "In making love I prefer listening to Classics as in Beetohoven, Back etc. In plain ol Hard SEX I like RAP or heavy metal. What do YOU like?"}, {"response": 2, "author": "Love", "date": "Thu, Dec 26, 1996 (09:04)", "body": "I think that a more seductive voice would suit the moment. Like Celine Dion or someone on that level."}, {"response": 3, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Dec 26, 1996 (21:31)", "body": "Do you have a particular Celine Dion album or song in mind?"}, {"response": 4, "author": "Kaellie", "date": "Fri, Feb  6, 1998 (15:41)", "body": "Enigma or Pure Moods..without a doubt"}, {"response": 6, "author": "sewanee88", "date": "Mon, Apr 27, 1998 (14:18)", "body": "Enigma, absolutely. Best sex music ever, bar none. Although, however cliched it is, Ravel's Bolero really is quite good. Quite."}, {"response": 7, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, May  5, 1998 (09:09)", "body": "Deep Forest. But sometimes you don't need third party music!"}, {"response": 8, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May  7, 1998 (12:17)", "body": "you know dat's right!"}, {"response": 9, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (15:18)", "body": "I need no more than my lover's moans!"}, {"response": 10, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (21:42)", "body": ""}, {"response": 11, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, May  9, 1998 (23:16)", "body": "Riette, you got any of those on tape?"}, {"response": 12, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sun, May 10, 1998 (02:15)", "body": "I never get around to recording it, but it goes something like . . . No, don't want to make you blush - you might be under 18 for all I know!"}, {"response": 13, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (13:51)", "body": "Riette... it takes a LOT to make WER blush 'round here but audio/visual just might do it! Mike, I see you've been left speechless! *laugh*"}, {"response": 14, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (19:02)", "body": "yeah...brief moment of madness meant that i pressed the Submit button instead of the \"Next Topic\" button. doh."}, {"response": 15, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (01:23)", "body": "HEy, here's a joke I'm bursting to share: A guy and a girl get married - as guys and girls do sometimes. Anyway, it's their first night of marital bliss and the old cursory action, and the girl takes her man's socks and shoes off. But something's wrong - some sort of foot disease. SHE: What's wrong with your feet, Honey? HE: Oh that - I had Tolio as a child. SHE: You mean Polio? HE: No, Tolio - it really IS and illness. The takes off his pants - this time it's the knees that offend. SHE: And your knees? WHat happened here? HE: Kneasles - I had Kneasles as a child. SHE: You mean Measles? HE: No, Kneasles. Fine. She takes off his underpants. SHE: Don't tell me . . . Smallcox?"}, {"response": 16, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (21:57)", "body": "*smile*"}, {"response": 17, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (04:47)", "body": "By the way, I think the love scenes in movies would be much more real, far more touching if they were to leave out the music alltogether. I mean, in real life, it just doesn't work like that. Not in mine anyway - but then again, I'm a relativist. No, I mean, when I get the urge I don't go to the CD player, find a Mozart or whatever CD, put it in, start it, and adjust the volume. No, I go mount my man, right? That's how it comes naturally. I mean, imagine if hafways through you discover - oh, you don t like that particular to make love to after all. Then you have to get up, go over to the CD player, choose another CD etc. etc. No, by that time I could have come and gone!"}, {"response": 18, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, May 15, 1998 (17:17)", "body": "that quickly eh?"}, {"response": 19, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sat, May 16, 1998 (16:21)", "body": "Yeah, none of this beating about the bush nonsense - so to speak!!!! You?"}, {"response": 20, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (15:44)", "body": "depends... always depends. been having pretty randy dreams lately. waking him up a couple of times a night. He's good for it though."}, {"response": 21, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Thu, May 21, 1998 (02:18)", "body": "ha-ha! I don't give him a choice."}, {"response": 22, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (03:46)", "body": "Brahms third Symphony, followed by the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky, followed by Claire de Lune."}, {"response": 23, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Wed, Apr 26, 2000 (17:09)", "body": "Eric Clapton \"RUSH\" almost the entire CD... can't abide last cut \"Tears in Heaven\" due to the overplay it received on the airways. But the rest of it, especially the first 4 tracks.... mmmmm-mmm"}, {"response": 24, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 26, 2000 (17:11)", "body": "I can do just about anything to Billy Joel... or no music at all, depending on the inspiration there with me. I am mostly a classical music fan and Bolero is great if your timing matches Ravel's. Gotta check out the rest of RUSH..."}, {"response": 25, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Wed, Apr 26, 2000 (18:51)", "body": "The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys, Steve Winwood and Traffic."}, {"response": 26, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 26, 2000 (18:54)", "body": "Hmmm...Hafta check that out. Actually never did it to music... I guess we just make our own *grin*"}, {"response": 27, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Apr 26, 2000 (18:58)", "body": "Actually, I think the much maligned Tim has the right idea for me, at least. I like the way he thinks!"}, {"response": 28, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Wed, Apr 26, 2000 (20:12)", "body": "Much maligned and deserving of the malignment, he nearly blew Ree Away."}, {"response": 29, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Apr 27, 2000 (12:58)", "body": "I thought I'd ask John what he considered the best music for the this topic. His comment plus a bit of information for my benefit: Depends on the mood and the partner: Clapton \"461 Ocean Boulevard\", Smokey Robinson \"Quiet Storm\", anything by Joan Armatrading...BTW, Marcia, Steve Winwood was in Traffic...was lead singer on \"Low Spark\"...album, all his music quite sensual"}, {"response": 30, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Apr 27, 2000 (13:04)", "body": "I have many questions on the Tim problem and have no way to ask and it does not belong here."}, {"response": 31, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:45)", "body": "Tim who? And that John has some great taste in music. If boys were my plaything his musical choices alone would put him on my list."}, {"response": 32, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:48)", "body": "Long time ago, long story... I'll do an email if you are really interested. He is on mine and knows it. I'll tell him!"}, {"response": 33, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:50)", "body": "john, that is...He is the intellectual's ultimate Babe."}, {"response": 34, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:51)", "body": "email me... love a good story!"}, {"response": 35, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (20:54)", "body": "Ok, but it might get to you in the morning as I am handling stuff IRL now and posting at the same time. But, I'll definitely let you know..."}, {"response": 36, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (21:07)", "body": "at your leisure m'dam. i'll be hitting ye olde rack soon and tomorrow i'm on the bike (in the rain and cold) training for, well you know why. And Sunday I have to do a work thingy at 6 am, be at a road race to marshall by 8 am, then off to the AIDSRide EXPO."}, {"response": 37, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Apr 28, 2000 (21:10)", "body": "G'night, Gena! I'll look up your website for you and post it ..."}, {"response": 38, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Aug  4, 2000 (23:12)", "body": "Moody Blues \"Question\" anytime...anything...anyone want to join me?"}, {"response": 39, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Aug  4, 2000 (23:12)", "body": "Then put the Eric Clapton back on..."}, {"response": 40, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Sun, Oct 17, 2004 (08:41)", "body": "Let's see... no intro's, no music posts since the year 2000. Oh my god! Must I then make the jump to \"No one's had sex since 2000?\" That Y2K thing had some unpublisized effects. I may have to take another anti-depressant... no sex in 4.8 yrs for my Spring friends... I'm so sad."}, {"response": 41, "author": "terry", "date": "Wed, Oct 20, 2004 (07:24)", "body": "Was y2k that great that it tided everyone over for all these years? \ufffdMore, More, More\ufffd by the Andrea True Connection \ufffdHeart of Glass\ufffd by Blondie \ufffdLove to Love You, Baby\ufffd by Donna Summer"}, {"response": 42, "author": "zx6rider", "date": "Wed, Oct 20, 2004 (18:25)", "body": "Joss Stone - anything she sings Billie Myers - anything she sings and Clapton's RUSH cd still does it for me."}, {"response": 43, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Oct 21, 2004 (06:13)", "body": "Golden Earing \"Radar Love\""}, {"response": 44, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Wed, Nov 17, 2004 (15:48)", "body": "Not familiar with that. Do you guarantee a melt-down with it? No sex is too horrible to contemplate."}, {"response": 45, "author": "visitor", "date": "Wed, Nov 17, 2004 (17:57)", "body": "Yep, 4.8 is about right...it'll be 5 years in December. Wheee!!!"}, {"response": 46, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Nov 19, 2004 (06:17)", "body": "http://www.togethersweb.com/music/valmid1.mid sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 5, "subject": "Sex is great but friendship is better.", "response_count": 59, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "pmurtaug", "date": "Tue, Feb  4, 1997 (23:38)", "body": "Yes, but sex with a friend is BEST!"}, {"response": 2, "author": "Mixu", "date": "Mon, Feb 10, 1997 (07:50)", "body": "Sex with a friend is definitely one of the best things in the world, especially if you stay friends :0)"}, {"response": 3, "author": "Garfield", "date": "Fri, Feb 14, 1997 (23:23)", "body": "Sex requires love; love requires friendship. Both partners should have a mutual feeling. Enough said."}, {"response": 4, "author": "Jerri", "date": "Sun, Mar  2, 1997 (01:34)", "body": "I fully agree with Garfield...."}, {"response": 5, "author": "danny", "date": "Sun, Mar 16, 1997 (05:36)", "body": "I agree that you said"}, {"response": 6, "author": "wink69", "date": "Sat, Mar 29, 1997 (01:04)", "body": "damn bitch wont give me sex"}, {"response": 7, "author": "meia", "date": "Sat, Apr 26, 1997 (12:29)", "body": "great friends have great sex"}, {"response": 8, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Oct 28, 1997 (10:45)", "body": "The only country to have more sex than America is France, but American's take longer (12 minutes avg.). 67% of 16-19 year old girls find Brad Pitt \"desireable\". The latest magazine survey. ... take longer than any other country surveyed. Wow, 12 minutes that's a shock."}, {"response": 9, "author": "ddv", "date": "Fri, Oct 31, 1997 (15:47)", "body": "Just to brag: I can do it for two hours straight! Nanananana :-p"}, {"response": 10, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Oct 31, 1997 (15:57)", "body": "That's all? Amateur. WER"}, {"response": 11, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Nov  3, 1997 (11:37)", "body": "(LOL) Hey, who's standing up for those, \"I'm already late for work, so what the hell?!?!\" quickies?"}, {"response": 12, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Nov  3, 1997 (22:51)", "body": "Something here is... WER"}, {"response": 13, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Nov  4, 1997 (11:56)", "body": "well gooooood morning then."}, {"response": 14, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Nov  4, 1997 (23:04)", "body": "Could you say that a little closer, please? WER"}, {"response": 15, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Nov  5, 1997 (10:42)", "body": "gudth mronig. (excuse me, I had something in my mouth...)"}, {"response": 16, "author": "terry", "date": "Wed, Nov  5, 1997 (11:13)", "body": "Something? Clarify please."}, {"response": 17, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Nov  5, 1997 (12:12)", "body": "C'mon Paul, scroll back... you figure it out."}, {"response": 18, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Nov  5, 1997 (13:23)", "body": "I'm almost laughing too hard to type. Good Morning to you to, stacey. WER"}, {"response": 19, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, Nov  7, 1997 (12:08)", "body": "A late good morning to you too, WER!"}, {"response": 20, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Mar 23, 1998 (17:50)", "body": "sex isn't so great here (topic) by myself but i think I'll amuse myself for awhile and check back later! *smile*"}, {"response": 21, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, Mar 23, 1998 (20:34)", "body": "Can we watch?"}, {"response": 22, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Mar 24, 1998 (09:23)", "body": "HA! there was a great article about this 30 something former receptionist who bought a visual setup, got herself a site, and makes a butt-load of money letting people watch! She insists it's not just sexual, that these men are her 'friends' and they like to watch her go about her daily routine (which usually includes a little self-stim and a lot of nudity). Pretty funny stuff. I guess i should look into the possibilities *grin*"}, {"response": 24, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Mar 24, 1998 (09:36)", "body": "(i don't know how comfortable i'd be with everyone being able to watch me clean the tub, do the laundry, etc. i value my privacy, when i can find it)"}, {"response": 26, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Mar 24, 1998 (09:40)", "body": "yeah, mostly when i get stressed. I forget where i put it. Or sometimes I abuse it and it runs and hides."}, {"response": 28, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Mar 24, 1998 (09:43)", "body": "and you?"}, {"response": 30, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Mar 24, 1998 (09:46)", "body": "the extent of your privacy?"}, {"response": 32, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Mar 24, 1998 (09:53)", "body": "lo siento and that sucks (BTW, on that subject, Brandon mentioned wanting to join a virtual community and I cringed at the thought he would invade my space here. It sounds so juvenille and petty but I want him to find his own place to play. I just don't think I could have as much fun with him reading everything I wrote. I considered asking Paul if he could just not allow him access to a few of my favorite places but decided it was probably best if I just helped him find another place)"}, {"response": 34, "author": "autumn", "date": "Wed, Mar 25, 1998 (23:06)", "body": "A friend of a friend worked for a residential maid service that requires its employees to do their housework in the nude. Can you imagine?? Cleaning the oven would be a b----!"}, {"response": 36, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Mar 26, 1998 (16:00)", "body": "Maybe the bathtub (usually works out this way) but NEVER the oven. YUK! That's why they invented self-cleaning ovens (not that I have one)"}, {"response": 37, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sun, May 10, 1998 (02:19)", "body": "The only reason why friendship is better than sex, is because some people die while having sex, and it can turn out to be a very lonely death locked up in a supermarket loo or something . . ."}, {"response": 38, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (13:52)", "body": "*laugh* Riette, suppose the answer to that problem would be to choose an unoccupied aisle instead of the bathroom!"}, {"response": 39, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (22:17)", "body": "I like that answer..."}, {"response": 40, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (01:41)", "body": "HA-HA!!!! Where did you buy that sense of humour, Stacey?!!"}, {"response": 41, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (21:58)", "body": "she wasn't being humorous, she actually meant it..."}, {"response": 42, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (04:52)", "body": "I can believe that! Pity you won't be caught dead (HA-HA!!!) in a church though, isn't it? Such a beautiful relationship so miserably wasted. Poor Stacey will be lying there, shrivelled up for lack of food and water - and you'll still be ranting on about the evils of churchgoing! Good thing it is a cyber world . . ."}, {"response": 43, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (12:03)", "body": "think I missed something..."}, {"response": 44, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (12:35)", "body": "So do I."}, {"response": 45, "author": "IronMan", "date": "Fri, May 15, 1998 (11:14)", "body": "Sex. What can you say? Its best with someone you love. I can make love with my girlfriend for 1 and a half hours and never get enough."}, {"response": 46, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, May 15, 1998 (11:29)", "body": "Welcome, IronMan! (so why stop at an hour and a half?)"}, {"response": 47, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Fri, May 15, 1998 (15:53)", "body": "What, you need even MORE time than that, Kitchen Man? Phew, and they say that female orgasm is a dubious thing. . . .!"}, {"response": 48, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, May 15, 1998 (23:16)", "body": "need? nope, both my hands work... want more than that, you betcha!"}, {"response": 49, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sat, May 16, 1998 (16:27)", "body": "Good for you, Kitchen Man(iac)! Men are lucky though, aren't they? I mean in the sense that women have three naughty bits and only two hands to defend these with . . ."}, {"response": 50, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sat, May 16, 1998 (23:22)", "body": "It's been my experience that not all bits work on everyone, and some work on people that there not supposed to on, plus things like flexibility and size need to be considered when deciding upon what can be reached by what... (3? I can count a few more...)"}, {"response": 51, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sun, May 17, 1998 (01:04)", "body": "Can you? Name them. ('Cos, while havind my finger or ear or shoulders sucked and fondled is erotic enough, I would not exactly call them 'naughty bits'. Or am I being unromantic?)"}, {"response": 52, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, May 17, 1998 (01:26)", "body": "to verify that mine are, the three of which you spoke were both nipples and clitoris, right?"}, {"response": 53, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sun, May 17, 1998 (04:14)", "body": "No, head, middle section and bottom section . . ."}, {"response": 54, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, May 19, 1998 (23:49)", "body": "*laugh* very good! then, two more would be the inside and the outside... and two more, maybe(?), would be the front and the back..."}, {"response": 55, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (00:43)", "body": "Speechless."}, {"response": 56, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (00:56)", "body": "why?"}, {"response": 57, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (10:02)", "body": "Never can talk much when my head is actively resting in somebody's . . . middle section . . ."}, {"response": 58, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (13:03)", "body": "at least not verbally, huh?"}, {"response": 59, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (13:36)", "body": "Sure I could, but you would not understand a word of it. I only speak Zulu while active in such a manner . . . Dela, Dela, Niangadela!! Do you think it's time we get back to the subject, Kitchen Man?! This conversation is growing more absurd by the minute. Why don't I ask you an embarrassing question, such as . . . How do you ask for it?"}, {"response": 60, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 20, 1998 (14:05)", "body": "Riette, my English to Zulu dictionary only goes from English to Zulu, so I can't look up what you said! :-( think you can teach me to read and write it over the web? I ususally \"ask for it\" by touching, and yourself?"}, {"response": 61, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Thu, May 21, 1998 (02:23)", "body": "Dela, Dela, Niangadela means, 'Contended, contented, I am contented!' I ask for it by stamping my foot. What do you touch? Top, middle or bottom section? Teach me, 'cos for some strange reason men don't find me particularly subtle . . ."}, {"response": 62, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, May 21, 1998 (02:31)", "body": "one touches different people in different manners in different places...if that touch works, they will let you know...and if it doesn't try something else or try again later...subtle is sometimes over rated and at others underappreciated...just always have more than one approach that you are comfortable with and never be afraid to experiment"}, {"response": 63, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, May 27, 1998 (06:09)", "body": "YES, SIR! So what you're saying is: sometimes I should stamp my food, and sometimes I should merely grunt? Experiment? Only with positions, I hope. 'Cos otherwise I'll run out of holes after the first six times . . . !"}, {"response": 64, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, May 27, 1998 (06:10)", "body": "Foot, that is!"}, {"response": 65, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, May 27, 1998 (06:10)", "body": "food was an interesting substitute!"}, {"response": 66, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, May 28, 1998 (00:44)", "body": "Yeah, I'll try that next time. Hell, I'll just throw him with my food! Wer said one should be willing to experiment! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 6, "subject": "make  friend", "response_count": 13, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Jul  2, 1998 (13:10)", "body": "Since no-one ever responded here, I'm going to tell you a funny one in here. Chris was at annual meeting of some kind on Monday evening. One of the guys whom he has known for about nine years now, showed up as usual . . . and as a woman. So after the dinner he tells Chris about how he had wanted to come out for years, etc. etc. (Which is extremely admirable as far as I'm concerned.) But then Chris, in his enthusiasm to get the same message across, made the following blunder. 'Now, THAT takes balls.' !!!!!"}, {"response": 2, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Jul  2, 1998 (14:31)", "body": "lol"}, {"response": 3, "author": "riette", "date": "Thu, Jul  2, 1998 (14:35)", "body": "That's what Nessa Glen didn't do! Even funnier is that her name used to be Richard Steels - his friends called him Steel Dick . . . I mean, it just begs for comment, doesn't it?!?!"}, {"response": 4, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (03:50)", "body": "Obviously Steel dick was a little limp."}, {"response": 5, "author": "nessaglen", "date": "Wed, Mar 17, 1999 (11:59)", "body": "Whoops! Riette - nice story but terribly embarassing for Richard Steele, whoever he might be. Please be careful about putting people's full names on the Net, eh? Say \"Gr\ufffdss Gott\" to Chris for me!"}, {"response": 6, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Mar 17, 1999 (23:30)", "body": "good point, but I bet there is more than one Dick Steele... Welcome, Nessa Glen!"}, {"response": 7, "author": "nessaglen", "date": "Thu, Mar 18, 1999 (04:47)", "body": "I'm debating at the moment whether to request that this Topic be killed - not least because it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with gender. Chris was wonderfully supportative and I was most amused by his remark. Now - 2 years before that, at the IAML International Conference in Perugia, I told three people in strict confidence. One of them outed me & unbeknownst to me, it was the talk of the conference. Once I found out I spent a year debating whether to resign or stay. I decided to 'test the water' at the next year's conference in Geneva by keeping my head down and seeing what happened. As I had thought, there was more than a little objection to the idea of a TG being a member of the Association. I discussed this with close colleagues and finally decided that the best course was to resign - at least as an individual member. I was committed to giving a paper at the '98 Congress in San Sebasti\ufffdn and went there a week after my resignation became effective. I went prepared for either eventuality for the Farewell Dinner. I made no secret of my resignation - or of why I had done so. Reaction was mixed, the paper - and the week - went very well and, by the Friday, I decided that I had nothing (more) to lose. (Incidentally, the final 'plus point' that made up my mind was Chris' telling me about a secondhand music shop in the town, where I purchased some marvellous illustrated covers for my collection - by then I thought, \"If it's going THIS well...\") And so the Farewell Dinner. I'm jolly glad I came out - I felt no qualms or embarassment at any point in the evening - and for those who did, I feel sorry for them. Aside from personal satisfaction and growth, I also resigned AND 'came out' in the hopes that the NEXT transgendered member of IAML would be treated a bit better than I had been. If you want a bit more prespective on this issue there are many serious sites on the Net that deal with the matter. You might also want to take a look at a small site of mine - still under construction: http://www.nessaglen.freeserve.co.uk So how did I find this site? I didn't - one of my colleagues ran a search under my name on Altavista and this was the only reference that came up; he let me know about it. There probably are any number of Richard Steeles out there but I have never met any. Even WERE that my name (and it isn't) none of my friends would have EVER considered me macho enough to warrant the nickname \"Steel Dick\". Sex? Rather boring, don't you know - I'd rather go to a good opera... PS. Context 2 - it's all coming together; I'm having a wonderful time. My first commission actually addressed to Nessa Glen was performed in the Esterh\ufffdzy Landesmuseum during the Haydn-Festspiele last September. Attending the concert was one of the most memorable events of my life - and I LOOKED GOOD, too! PPS. There's a big difference between the literal and philosophical when it comes to 'having balls' - the 'op' is MY business but in the latter case, I still have 'em when I NEED them. That's MS. to you, honey!"}, {"response": 8, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Mar 18, 1999 (23:05)", "body": "AMEN! *applause*"}, {"response": 9, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Mar 18, 1999 (23:08)", "body": "oh, and my own PS. Have you looked around the rest of the Spring? If not, I'd like to invite you to do so..."}, {"response": 10, "author": "stacey", "date": "Sat, Apr 10, 1999 (23:36)", "body": "Welcome to the Spring Nessa Glen and congrats on the commission!"}, {"response": 11, "author": "sooberguy", "date": "Sat, Mar  8, 2003 (08:29)", "body": "wat i do?"}, {"response": 12, "author": "sooberguy", "date": "Sat, Mar  8, 2003 (08:30)", "body": ""}, {"response": 13, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Mar  8, 2003 (13:31)", "body": "Just write in this box at the bottom of the page and hit the submit button. It is good to see life in here again! Aloha and welcome! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 7, "subject": "sex in the future - virtual sex?", "response_count": 24, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, Nov 21, 1997 (11:13)", "body": "Hey naughty boy... where are you?"}, {"response": 4, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Nov 24, 1997 (10:15)", "body": "You mean your going to keep your hands in one place at a time? *frown* I suppose the neck... a little stiff..."}, {"response": 6, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, Nov 24, 1997 (12:51)", "body": "Stacey, would you classify your neck as long?"}, {"response": 7, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Dec  8, 1997 (19:03)", "body": "Not as long as a giraffes but longer than a linebacker's. How's that?"}, {"response": 8, "author": "terry", "date": "Tue, Dec  9, 1997 (00:00)", "body": "And quite a bit thinner too. You have a great neck."}, {"response": 10, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Dec  9, 1997 (18:24)", "body": "Ooooh, WER. That's a super, tickly, touchy feely place for me! And thank you Paul for the compliment!"}, {"response": 12, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Dec 10, 1997 (10:13)", "body": "I'm ready! Oh and happy day off!"}, {"response": 14, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Dec 15, 1997 (18:53)", "body": "just when I thought I had it under control!"}, {"response": 15, "author": "terry", "date": "Mon, Dec 15, 1997 (23:21)", "body": "YOU! Under control? How about out of control?"}, {"response": 16, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Dec 17, 1997 (10:12)", "body": "*sly grin* Me? Paul, did you ever catch up with the MR crew when we went out for Happy Hours? Just how do you know these things about me?!?!"}, {"response": 17, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Dec 19, 1997 (00:46)", "body": "I may need to do some more research."}, {"response": 19, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, Dec 19, 1997 (14:26)", "body": "*laugh*"}, {"response": 20, "author": "amso2017", "date": "Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (14:00)", "body": "that is really good for some earthy biginers this is me the man from the moon i would like to chat with any sexy girl to give her the chanse to know what sex means in real Thanks for all ladies aerround sorry for men, i don't like men in bed"}, {"response": 21, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:06)", "body": "REAL sex.....hmmmm. What would THAT be?"}, {"response": 22, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (01:16)", "body": "Almost sounds as if you want to find out, Riette."}, {"response": 23, "author": "riette", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (13:09)", "body": "Oh I know about REAL sex, don't worry! If this is the place to look for REAL sex, then I would LOVE to know what this person understands under NOT REAL sex. This being a computer screen and all..."}, {"response": 24, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  1, 1998 (20:30)", "body": "Good point, Riette. I wasn't following your logic."}, {"response": 25, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (00:56)", "body": "Does the computer screen have any secret doors I don't know about?"}, {"response": 26, "author": "TIM", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (01:06)", "body": "Riette, you are asking me? I'm flattered. I've only been on one of these for a month."}, {"response": 27, "author": "terry", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (05:57)", "body": "Hey, Ree, you're not supposed to talk about the Spring's virtual body reconstitution, sex machine project. Remember, it's under wraps?"}, {"response": 28, "author": "ratthing", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (10:53)", "body": "i was under the impression that *you* were the Spring Sex Machine, terry."}, {"response": 29, "author": "riette", "date": "Wed, Dec  2, 1998 (11:17)", "body": "ha-ha!!!! What do you mean, Ray? Terry is the Spring Sex Maniac! But I promise to keep quiet, Terry - but I have one more question: will condoms be provided? Because, frankly, I've always found those little cyber baby things boring!"}, {"response": 30, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Dec  3, 1998 (06:29)", "body": "Yeah keep it quiet please. And yes , there will be a condom-matic available for your copious use."}, {"response": 31, "author": "TIM", "date": "Tue, Dec  8, 1998 (03:53)", "body": "Must be a new kind of condom. Every kind I've ever seen was in tended to be worn by the guy. sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 8, "subject": "Innuendo", "response_count": 43, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Oct 29, 1997 (10:13)", "body": "guess I've come to the right place, a sweet spot, if you will."}, {"response": 2, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Oct 29, 1997 (12:14)", "body": "To the right place, or in the right place? WER"}, {"response": 3, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, Oct 29, 1997 (23:03)", "body": "Or sweaty spot, if I do... WER"}, {"response": 4, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Oct 30, 1997 (10:00)", "body": "Sometimes near the right place, can be just as exciting as in the right place... close, but not quite there. Closer, ever closer... a breath away..."}, {"response": 5, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Oct 30, 1997 (11:35)", "body": "And the wrong place can turn into a favorite..."}, {"response": 6, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Oct 30, 1997 (12:17)", "body": "With the right touch, there are no wrong places."}, {"response": 7, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Oct 31, 1997 (00:25)", "body": "You're on top and in control, so which way do we go now?"}, {"response": 8, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Oct 31, 1997 (15:26)", "body": "Uncomfortable? Do I need to change my position? Or go get some finger foods?"}, {"response": 9, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Oct 31, 1997 (15:54)", "body": "Or are you just enjoying the moment and riding this out?"}, {"response": 10, "author": "terry", "date": "Fri, Oct 31, 1997 (18:21)", "body": "waiting"}, {"response": 11, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Sun, Nov  2, 1997 (00:11)", "body": "No need to wait, terry, just find an opening and slide on in..."}, {"response": 12, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov  2, 1997 (09:53)", "body": "rounds third base and does a head first slide for home plate. Heeeee's . . . ."}, {"response": 13, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Nov  3, 1997 (23:04)", "body": "Now stop right there, I need to know right now..."}, {"response": 14, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Nov 13, 1997 (12:47)", "body": "Have you grown tired of me already, stacey?"}, {"response": 15, "author": "terry", "date": "Thu, Nov 13, 1997 (14:58)", "body": "Bulletin The Spring, at this moment, is under heavy mailbombing attack and I am working with reps of both MCI and PSI to quell this assault on our server. If you notice slow performance, that's why. I'm putting up the shields and working behind the scenes to assist in the capture of this hacker. They are most likely in Mission Viejo, CAlif. and they have been logging in and out all day and sending email to the entire mci userbase, trying to pirate the Spring as their staging area. We're on it!"}, {"response": 16, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Thu, Nov 13, 1997 (15:39)", "body": "That would explain alot..."}, {"response": 17, "author": "LADYICE", "date": "Sat, Nov 15, 1997 (00:44)", "body": ""}, {"response": 19, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov 16, 1997 (22:25)", "body": "You have a mistress here now?"}, {"response": 21, "author": "terry", "date": "Sun, Nov 16, 1997 (23:06)", "body": "Jealous? Moi?"}, {"response": 23, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Sun, May 10, 1998 (02:22)", "body": "Now, now, WER, it is not size that matters . . . what matters is whether the tool (screw-driver?) can fix or not."}, {"response": 24, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, May 11, 1998 (22:19)", "body": "I know, it's all in the wrist... (that and/or the grip)"}, {"response": 25, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (01:44)", "body": "HA-Ha! Brag, brag, brag! AS if the object of (no, I shall not say screwing!) does not count at all."}, {"response": 26, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, May 12, 1998 (22:00)", "body": "kinda 50-50... what you're screwing counts as much as what you're screwing it into...that's why sometimes it's just best to hammer away!"}, {"response": 27, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (04:58)", "body": "That's bloody hilarious!!! I take it foreplay is not a word that exists in your vocabulary then?! You just get right down to business, hammering away with the ol' six pounder till your maid says: 'You can stop now, honey, it won't go any further!'"}, {"response": 28, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (12:05)", "body": "didn't say that either, sometimes you have to sand and wax the wood BEFORE you nail it to the wall..."}, {"response": 29, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (12:37)", "body": "HA-HA-HA!!!! You're a disturbed person, aren't you?"}, {"response": 30, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (12:47)", "body": "others claim that alot, yes..."}, {"response": 31, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (13:34)", "body": "Hmm - I kinda had that same far-fetched idea in the old pumpkin. Tell me, how did you come to be like this, or were you born like it? Let me guess at your first words . . . . HMMM, let's see. Ah, it must have been: 'Mummy, Daddy Fuck.' Sound vulgar? Well, actually it was my best friends youngest child's first words, and he too shows the signs . . ."}, {"response": 32, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Wed, May 13, 1998 (16:41)", "body": "I think it's a combination of congenital and environmental (underscored with curiosity...)"}, {"response": 33, "author": "SKAT", "date": "Thu, May 14, 1998 (00:13)", "body": "Oh, right."}, {"response": 34, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Apr 20, 1999 (16:44)", "body": "anyone?"}, {"response": 35, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Tue, Apr 20, 1999 (22:04)", "body": "maybe..."}, {"response": 36, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (13:57)", "body": ""}, {"response": 37, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (14:33)", "body": "Are you absolutely sure? This could be quite damaging and all that. One could read almost anything into that statement ;)"}, {"response": 38, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sat, Mar 25, 2000 (17:26)", "body": "This is a conference which should have put Drool to shame, but I think everyone is out of commission about now...or has lost interest. Must I do it myself or may I bring a friend?!"}, {"response": 39, "author": "sprin5", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (00:09)", "body": "Yep."}, {"response": 40, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (00:26)", "body": "*smile*"}, {"response": 41, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (04:27)", "body": "I'll get in trouble again *grin*"}, {"response": 42, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (16:31)", "body": "You don't even know about this conference, right?!"}, {"response": 43, "author": "sociolingo", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (16:33)", "body": "right! - oops he's just come in *blush*"}, {"response": 44, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Mar 27, 2000 (16:55)", "body": "Quick! Eat your monitor!"}, {"response": 45, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Sun, Dec  3, 2000 (09:27)", "body": "Eat your monitor! The mental image of that made me laugh out loud :-)))"}, {"response": 46, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Sun, Dec  3, 2000 (19:31)", "body": "Me too! I had forgotten I had written that! sex conference Main Menu"}]}, {"num": 9, "subject": "The fine line between Pleasure & Disfigurement", "response_count": 27, "posts": [{"response": 1, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Mon, Dec 22, 1997 (01:17)", "body": "I've gone to my room, Mistress..."}, {"response": 2, "author": "jett2000", "date": "Mon, Dec 22, 1997 (01:17)", "body": "what up to night"}, {"response": 4, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Jan 26, 1998 (17:25)", "body": "or pain (?)/ disfigurement!"}, {"response": 6, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Jan 28, 1998 (16:53)", "body": "not sure if this is the right conference for my state of mind but... I always like to play! (been outta sorts lately -- if you couldn't mobilize your superhuman intuition and figure that one out on your own!)"}, {"response": 8, "author": "stacey", "date": "Wed, Jan 28, 1998 (17:22)", "body": "LOL! There's those machochistic tendencies coming out!"}, {"response": 10, "author": "ssea", "date": "Fri, Feb 20, 1998 (01:59)", "body": "what does a bored person do at 11:45 at night.besides this?"}, {"response": 12, "author": "ginwa", "date": "Fri, Mar 13, 1998 (07:45)", "body": "no I did not"}, {"response": 14, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Mar 16, 1998 (18:15)", "body": "methinks I'm missing all the good stuff!"}, {"response": 16, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Mar 19, 1998 (09:51)", "body": "HAH! (i'm having difficulty with the buttons while laughing hysterically... could you help!)"}, {"response": 18, "author": "mikeg", "date": "Thu, Mar 19, 1998 (11:21)", "body": "oo-er :)"}, {"response": 19, "author": "stacey", "date": "Thu, Mar 19, 1998 (17:39)", "body": "depends... where's your mouth?"}, {"response": 21, "author": "stacey", "date": "Fri, Mar 20, 1998 (10:08)", "body": "how 'bout here... or here... or here... (wanna play follow the finger?)"}, {"response": 23, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Mar 23, 1998 (16:03)", "body": "i'll teach ya"}, {"response": 25, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Mar 23, 1998 (17:25)", "body": "that is NOT my stage name. (only kids and parents get to use it!) you can call me... Bambi *laugh*"}, {"response": 27, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Mar 23, 1998 (17:31)", "body": "you stay right there (don't touch anything!)"}, {"response": 29, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Mar 23, 1998 (17:36)", "body": "it's MINE now!"}, {"response": 31, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Thu, Aug 26, 1999 (17:00)", "body": "Ooops.....sorry I intruded on another private conversation. (slinking out unnoticed, I hope...)"}, {"response": 32, "author": "KitchenManager", "date": "Fri, Aug 27, 1999 (23:52)", "body": "it's been over a year so I doubt it's an intrusion..."}, {"response": 33, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Fri, Aug 27, 1999 (23:59)", "body": "On telnet it is not always easy to see what came before. I see the wisdom of your words. Now I have to think of something good to say here. Pleasure is fleeting. Disfigurment is permanent. Is one worth the other? Who wants a disfigured partner when they are cast aside because they are so?!"}, {"response": 34, "author": "stacey", "date": "Mon, Aug 30, 1999 (15:07)", "body": "...hmmm... Marcia, in all sincerity and due respect... methinks yer taken this here silliness within a sillier topic a mite bit too seriously... lighten up, smile, grab a whip! or whipped cream if you prefer! (just trying to make ya smile!)"}, {"response": 35, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Mon, Aug 30, 1999 (18:03)", "body": "Oh good grief...of course you are right. I should know better than to wander around telnet hitting the r n button when I have just j sex to see what has been posted and finding very old very silly stuff, indeed. Thanks for the sanity check, dear! *grin*"}, {"response": 36, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (13:59)", "body": "man you got a j sex button...??? I'm jealous... I gotta type out all those letter myself! *grin*"}, {"response": 37, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (14:11)", "body": "*lol*Indeed, I also have to type it out, and if I mis-spell something, telnet has no imagination. I get the old bash prompt and work through it again. (Boy, about now I could use a j sex button!!!)"}, {"response": 38, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (14:35)", "body": "me too... or those cookies... b's outta town again..."}, {"response": 39, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (14:46)", "body": "Into the Bath with you, my dear. Lots of chocolate-covered stuff in there today...including a nice hot mocha coffee made with dark chocolate...!"}, {"response": 40, "author": "stacey", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (15:50)", "body": "ahhh... I'm running..."}, {"response": 41, "author": "MarciaH", "date": "Tue, Aug 31, 1999 (19:19)", "body": "I am right behind you...with what has been happening in my life lately, I need all the chocolate I can get (but it never did anything for me...no like *that*) sex conference Main Menu"}]}]}