Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars Acura NSX - I am impotent Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well Dodge 600 - Will that be paper or plastic? Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them Ford Pickup - I watch professional wrestling. Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall. Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above) Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler Mazda RX-7 - I couldn't afford a Toyota Supra. Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List Porsche - I have more money than brains. Porshce Turbo Carrera - I think it would be really cool to die in a wreck. Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena Range Rover - I am a rich yuppie pretending I'm driving across the Serengeti Chevy Blazer - I am a rich yuppie pretending I'm driving a Patton tank Suburban - I am a rich yuppie in a real tank. Get out of my way or die. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a liberal Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife

My daughter is giving me concerned looks because of how I'm cackling at the computer screen!! Those are hysterical! I'll have to email them to a bunch of friends. But--no Jeep or Audi? Waaaah! I'll never know the subconscious statement I'm trying to make.

*CACKLE* (and what about a Subaru???)

Definitely Subaru. Specifically a Forester...?