And the complete blow by blow from
film.com
The Big Night
It's a wrap at the Shrine Auditorium, and we give the show -- well, a
solid B for effort. Things moved along snappily (although we're still not
sure what Peter Coyote, giving his best impersonation of a headwaiter,
was doing at that little desk), and the awards were spread out over a
nice variety of films, reflecting the depth of movie offerings this year.
American Beauty, as expected, won the big awards, but also
well-represented were Boys Don't Cry, Topsy-Turvy, and The Matrix (which
had a perfect four-for-four night). And Billy Crystal was at his relaxed
best. But -- if you're going to remove the dance numbers, why replace
them with interminable musical numbers and endless montages? And why
bring out Isaac Hayes only to immediately cover him in smoke? On the
fashion front, we liked Samuel L. Jackson's blue velvet jacket, Hilary
Swank's goldish gown, and Cher's fabulously understated (for Cher) black
velvet dress with a cross dangling at crotch level -- for which she
apologized, saying that she had "dressed like a grownup" this year. Ah,
well -- maybe next year. And, when last spotted, Annette Bening had still
not gone into labour.
All in all, a professional yet fairly uneventful evening without too many
big surprises. (Blame it on the Wall Street Journal poll, which gave all
the right answers.) And our favorite moment took place in the pre-show,
at which Matt Stone and Trey Parker (of South Park, as if we have to tell
you) unveiled their Oscar attire -- a Gwyneth Paltrow-ish pink
spaghetti-strapped gown, and a Jennifer Lopez-y sheer green dress
(accessorized by chest hair). Blame Canada, indeed.
Just in case you missed it, here's the play-by-play as we called it; or
click here for a complete list of winners.
Complete List of Winners
The Tally
American Beauty: 5
The Matrix: 4
The Cider House Rules: 2
Topsy-Turvy: 2
All About My Mother: 1
Boys Don't Cry: 1
Girl, Interrupted: 1
Tarzan: 1
9:31: Clint Eastwood gives the Best Picture award to American Beauty.
9:27: Steven Spielberg gives the Best Director award to Sam Mendes for
American Beauty. Here comes the semi-sweep?
9:20: Gwyneth Paltrow, with a bad case of bed head, gives the Best Actor
award to Kevin Spacey, while Denzel Washington gallantly applauds. In his
speech, he acknowledges the "real beauty" of American Beauty, and says
he's proud to be an actor. And, for the record, says he's speechless and
that he loves his mother.
9:07: Roberto Benigni runs around the stage for a while and says he'd
like to be a dog, and then calms down sufficiently to present the Best
Actress award to Hilary Swank for Boys Don't Cry. After smooching with
hubby Chad Lowe, she gives a poised speech.
9:00: Mel Gibson presents the Best Original Screenplay award to Alan
Ball, for American Beauty. He thanks, among other things, a plastic bag.
8:55: Kevin Spacey turns up to present the Best Adapted Screenplay award
to John Irving for The Cider House Rules, providing us with the rare
spectacle of seeing a bestselling novelist at the podium. He provides the
first political moment so far, acknowledging the National Abortion Rights
Action League. Go John!
8:51: Brad Pitt presents the Best Cinematography award to Conrad L. Hall
for American Beauty. So, will this kick off the American Beauty sweep we
kept hearing so much about?
8:32: Jack Nicholson, sporting a brush cut and a grim little mustache,
gives a rambling intro to Warren Beatty, the recipient of this year's
Irving G. Thalberg award. We're pleased to note that Warren's wife,
Annette Bening, is still in the auditorium and not in the maternity ward.
A nice standing O for Warren, who gives an equally rambling -- but very
sweet -- acceptance speech.
8:28: Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd, bringing back unpleasant memories
of Double Jeopardy, present the Film Editing award to Zach Staenberg of
The Matrix, which is pulling off a nice little technical sweep. He reads
his speech from a piece of paper, and is not particularly compelling.
8:22: Julianne Moore and Russell Crowe stroll out to present the Art
Direction award to Rich Heinrichs and Peter Young for Sleepy Hollow.
8:15: Edward Norton shows a remarkable lack of enthusiasm for introducing
the annual "In Memorium" tribute to those who have died, which includes
Jim Varney, Robert Bresson, Hedy Lamarr, Garson Kanin, Madeline Kahn, and
George C. Scott.
8:10: Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves present the Best Original Score
Oscar to John Corigliano for The Red Violin. He says he's speechless, and
then makes a gracious speech.
8:05: Antonio Banderas and Penelope Cruz (who, coincidentally, have both
starred in Pedro Almodovar films) turn up to present the Best Foreign
Film award to . . . Pedro Almodovar, for All About My Mother. Cruz gets
really excited and jumps around, then the three have a group hug.
Almodovar whips out a big piece of paper and thanks a lot of people until
the music starts playing.
7:45: A rather emotional Burt Bacharach leads a medley of songs nominated
for Oscars past, including "Everybody's Talkin'," "Over the Rainbow,"
"The Man That Got Away," "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head," and more,
performed by the likes of Ray Charles, Faith Hill, Garth Brooks, Dionne
Warwick, and Queen Latifah -- sometimes, alas, inviting unfortunate
comparison with the originals. Really, nobody but Judy should sing "Over
the Rainbow." The exception is Isaac Hayes, who turns up to croon
"Shaft," and sounds as cool as ever -- until he gets enveloped by a smoke
machine. And, in the obligatory standing O, Annette stands up again!
Somebody stop her!
7:33: Arnold "I've been a visual effect" Schwarzenegger shows up to
present the Visual Effects award to the guys from The Matrix. A guy
wearing a really cool black outfit does all of the talking; the others,
who look less cool, stand behind him. He goes on too long and gets cut
off by music, but not before he can plug
www.whatisthematrix.com.
7:31: The "exciting and talented" Salma Hayek summarizes the Scientific
and Technical Awards. She is mercifully brief. So is her dress.
7:28: Chow Yun-Fat saunters out to present the award for Sound Effects
Editing to Dane A. Davis for The Matrix.
7:21: Jane Fonda is welcomed back to Hollywood, and graciously introduces
Polish director Andrzej Wajda, who is this year's recipient of an
honorary Oscar. (Although we have no idea why Jane mysteriously crossed
the entire stage during her intro -- perhaps to show off her Vera Wang
gown.) A grinning Wajda gets a nice standing O, and gives a nice speech
in Polish (thankfully, there are subtitles).
7:10: Dame Judi Dench and her impeccable diction present the Best
Supporting Actor award to Michael Caine for The Cider House Rules. He
gets a kind of half-baked standing ovation (including the elegantly
gowned and extremely pregnant Annette Bening, who should stay seated),
and graciously acknowledges his fellow nominees (telling Tom Cruise,
"Have you any idea how much supporting actors get paid?").
7:05: Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke, also very cute, present the
Documentary Feature award to -- surprise! -- One Day in September,
directed by Kevin MacDonald.
7:02: Wes Bentley, Mena Suvari, and Thora Birch of American Beauty, all
looking cute as can be, present the award for Documentary Short Subject
to King Gimp, directed by William A. Whiteford, who has been seated in
the last possible row of the auditorium (because he's not famous) and
takes a really long time to get to the podium.
6:55: Cher enters, apologizes for her sedate and un-Cher-like dress (hey,
we think it's pretty), and presents the Best Song award to Phil Collins
for "You'll Be in My Heart" from Tarzan.
6:41: LL Cool J and Vanessa Williams introduce the Best Song nominees,
performed by a strapless Sarah McLachlan, a wispy-voiced Aimee Mann, a
follically challenged Phil Collins, the pretty boys of N'Sync with a
strapless Gloria Estefan, and a rather hoarse Robin Williams, who did
indeed manage to use the words "fart" and "bitch" in his rendition of
"Blame Canada," and gamely participated in a final kickline.
6:33: Woody, Buzz, and the Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robots (yep, pretty darn cute)
present the Best Animated Short Film award to The Old Man and the Sea,
directed by Aleksander Petrov, who apologizes for not being able to speak
English, but gives a speech anyway.
6:28: A very elegant Cate Blanchett and Jude Law present the award for
Best Live-Action Short Film to My Mother Dreams the Satan's Disciples in
New York, directed by Barbara Schock and Tammy Tiekel, one of whom is
quite Annette Bening-esque (pregnant, that is).
6:20: Morgan Freeman talks quite vaguely about the past century,
mysteriously using the phrase "global village", and introduces the
obligatory Chuck Workman montage.
6:10: James Coburn strolls in to present the Best Supporting Actress
award to . . . Angelina Jolie (Girl, Interrupted), who's wearing some
sort of Elvira getup with major hair extensions. Contrary to her behavior
at the Golden Globes, she does not bring her brother to the podium,
although he is her date for the evening. She thanks everyone she knows.
6:05: Tobey Maguire and a high-headwrapped Erykah Badu present the Best
Makeup award to Topsy-Turvy. A Topsy-Turvy sweep tonight? A write-in for
Best Picture? Go, Mike Leigh!
6:02: Mike Myers, Heather Graham, and Heather's cleavage present the
award for Best Sound to those guys from The Matrix.
5:58: Haley Joel Osment introduces an uninspired montage of performances
by young actors. Gee, wonder why they picked him?
5:50: The Charlie's Angels girls (Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz)
present the Best Costume award to Lindy Hemming for Topsy-Turvy. An
upset!
5:30: Billy Crystal kicks things off with a 20-minute opening number
featuring -- surprise -- a lot of song and dance. Not bad. A funny Kevin
Spacey cameo.
~sage what would you speculate has become of all these people like Riette and everyone?