Wolfie is our special person who is facing the passing of a cherished pet. How does one know when it is time to let them go? Please share your experience and wisdom with us. I am almost too close to Wolfie to do this right and she needs every *HUG* you can spare.

Hi Wolfie. I am so sorry about your dog. I am going through the exact same thing as you are. In fact, I have gone thru this again and again and it is so very hard. I know exactly what you are going through. For some reason my dog Terry has a very strong will to live. She never wants to give up, even when the vet says she probably won't make it through the night. My family and I have had a rough ride with Terry from the begining. We bought her when she was only a few months old. She was a beautiful tan and black terrier. At the age of 3 she collapsed having a moderate size seizure. We rushed her to the vet and they began to run all kinds of tests. The bill must of been 3 or 4 thousand that first time. The vet finally got the results back and said that she had a liver shunt or liver disfunction (can't remember the specific medical name). She had been born with this birth defect, but it had not shown up until now. The vet said even with medications she probably won't last past age 5. So we took t ings day by day. We had to give her about 5 pills down her throat 2 times a day. Sometimes she would still have seizures though, but unlike a human you can't talk her through it, so we would just be there to make sure she didn't bump into things and just pat her and calm her down. It was very hard watching her go through this and we had considered many times to put her down, but it seemed when ever we talked about it she would perk up and go back to her normal doggie life. We have nearly lost her 10 times if not more throughout the years. Terry is now 12 years old and just this past weekend we almost lost her again. She now has kidney failure. Her kidneys are probably only funtioning about 25%, which the vet says is okay for now, as long as she gets lot of fluids every day. My brother Sean who is a pharmacist and works in the hospital is going to be giving Terry fluids interveinously at home from now on. So now I think we have all gone to the extreme to keep Terry alive. Is it worth it? I don't kno . Terry doesn't want to give up and we have had her so long that we are willing to go the extra mile to keep her alive. She may only have another few months or maybe a year left. Dad tells me when Terry is ready she will look at you differently as if to say "its time" This is when you will know when the right time is to let your dog go. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. Just remember what a good life you were able to give you dog and all the fun things you did with her/him. You will never forget those things and you will treasure them in your heart for as long as you live. And remember, there is a doggie heaven. There was this story I read once about the Rainbow Bridge. One side of the rainbow there were trees, grass, waterfalls, and fire hydrants. On the other side was a simalar place except it was for humans. Once the dog gets to heaven it will wait patiently near the rainbow bridge until its owner eventually passes on and then they will both be reunited once again, fo eternity. Julie

Wolfie, Honey, here's the site for Rainbow Birdge. it's a wonderful place to go when you have to go through this. It's http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm Now this may sound silly to some but fi you've ever watched "Crossing Over" and I know there are peoplw who don't believe but I for one do. He has on many occassions mentioned pets who are there with family members waiting for you. with all the ones I have waiting for me, and I know they are, I'm going to have a wonderous and very LOUD reunion. I've cried over many and each is as specail as the next. I've been with them holding them for that last breath never letting them cross with out being held by me and telling them one last time that i love them. Do that for her and even tho it will be hard on you,it will give her comffort to know you were there for her. Hugs and much love, Bj

Thanks BJ. Julie has the same problem with her dog Terry. She told me about the rainbow bridge but lacked the url for it. Big Hugs for finding it for all of us.

thank you for finding the link. you guys are so sweet to comfort me. Bro is a fighter too. he was the runt and the only one to live so long. a couple of his siblings died during puppyhood and the others lived just a little while longer. Bro gives me this gentle look (like he always has) that says he loves me. today, he has really perked up (i think just from being home). my husband says this dog is in love with me *laugh* i am a firm christian but have felt my heart lurch to think that my guy and the other dogs i've loved wouldn't be waiting for me-made me not even want to go there then. it is so comforting to know that there are others who have a link--i've had it since i was little-animals are part of my soul. there are people people and animal people and i know you guys know what i'm talking about!! i know Bro will tell me when he's ready, i just hope i'm paying attention. my hope is, too, that he will go quietly in his sleep. to spare me the stress and him the stress. he deserves to go peacefull -he has been a loyal and good friend to me. and truly my first child! he's also the AM (alpha male)'s first dog ever. i'm so glad he got to have a good experience! we are taking it day by day. i've already had a talk with Bro and told him to make sure he's loud and clear when he's ready. i know he understood me. thanks you guys! *HUGS*

I think Terry is slipping away from us very slowly. She went to the vets yesturday to get fluids again. I went to visit her today. They brought Terry and her IV into one of the little rooms. It was almost too much for me to bear. She was shaking and she looked so frail. I held her for a bit and told her how much I loved her. She stopped shaking and relaxed in my arms. It was hard for me to leave her. The vet said she can go home tomorrow, but this is it. She will not being going to the vets again. Its costing too much to keep her in the hospital. If she gets worse again, Mom, Dad, and Sean all said that will be it, and we will have to let her go. I don't know why I keep denying everything. Its just too painful for me I guess. I start yelling at Mom and Dad if they try to talk about it with me because I can't handle it. I don't know what I am going to do. Why can't I just accept things? *sigh*

*HUGS* julie, i completely am here for you. if you read the dogs topic, you'll know that we had to put bro down on thursday. it was very hard but the greiving i've already done helped me through it. everyone has their own way to handle the grieving process and you have already begun it sweetheart. (and i wanted to thank you for your email awhile back too) thank you for trusting us with your grief--to be able to talk about it here is a wonderful step.

I can't handle this! I just got back from the vets a few minutes ago. Terry's kidneys have had enough and so we decided after careful thought to let Terry go. But this seemed to have come at a rather bad time for me. We are going to have her put to sleep at the end of the weekend, so probably Monday. But the problem is I am having ankle surgery on Tuesday and since I will be laying around for weeks I will have nothing to do but be depressed and think about Terry. I can't go out and get my mind off it like Mom, Dad, and Sean will be able to do. And if I have to go through that, I won't last one week until I finally lose it for sure. *sigh* I'm not even sure how to say goodbye. Our old dog was taken away from us instantly when she was hit by a car so none of us got to say goodbye and I was way to young to understand much anyway. Now I have some time left, but I don't know what to say or do. Terry has been with me my entire childhood. I don't remember my old dog much because I was too little, so Te ry is all I know. I'm very thankful we took so many pictures of her. I will be looking back on those for years to come. It was wonderful growing up with a special friend by my side who comforted me when I was sad and played with me when I was bored. For some reason I feel like I am letting go more than just Terry. I feel like I am letting go part of myself too. Even though Terry is not allowed to sleep in anyone's room, Mom has allowed me to have Terry sleep with me tonight. *sigh* I wonder what Terry is thinking. Terry is a very sweet and lovable dog. So Wolfie, it looks like Bro is going to have a new playmate, so don't worry about him being lonely. Terry will take care of him. We are going up to L.A on Monday to take Terry to the pet cemetery. Mom had a few of her dogs buried there when she was younger. So we will always get to visit her. *sigh* This is so difficult, I don't even know what else to say.

Hi all Come to Rob for a hug. I know this is hurting you Julie. Rob

Julie!!! We love you enough to hurt for and with you. Please let us share your grief! *HUGS*

Sorry to hear about this Julie.

HUGS! Thanks guys for all your support. I really appriciate it and need it way more than I am willing to admit. I never had this when my old dog passed away. In fact people were very cruel to me. It made me feel better to have Terry sleep next to me last night. I thought I would get another day with her, but we have decided to put her to sleep tomorrow morning and go into L.A in the afternoon. *sigh* You know, looking at the Rainbows Bridge website really helped. Mom and I have decided to write a memorial for her there. I wish Terry could have made it for 4th of July. We go on a picnic every year to this park next to a lake. Terry loved running through the grass, eating hotdogs and chips, chasing chimpmunks up the trees, and taking the train ride through the woods. *sigh* These memories seem like only yesturday. This has turned out to be the worst summer of my life so far and it has barely began. I wish I could just go back to school right now instead of staying here and drowning in my own tears.

Julie, one thing about dogs is that they know our hearts. no words need be said. allow yourself to grieve, sweetie, it's the best thing. *HUGS*

Today was truly the most painful and hardest day of my life. I have never felt so much pain before. Terry on the other hand felt none and she left this world quite peacefully. I held her the whole car trip to the vets and even in her last moments. It was so so difficult, but I didn't want to put her down. I didn't want to go in the room with her, but I knew Terry needed me so I did it anyway. Once the vet gave her the injection she went limp in my arms. After that, I lost control and handed Terry over to Dad who helped the vet put her in a box. Then the next 2 hours we drove to Calabases. It was the hardest longest drive I have ever taken in my life. I was exhausted from crying so I fell asleep part of the way right next to the the box. When we got to the cemetery though, I felt a little bit better. It was so beautiful, even more so than human cemeteries. There were flowers, pinwheels, pictures, and toys scattered all over the area. When we parked we even saw a chimpmunk and a yellow bird. We kn w Terry would be very happy here. I keep looking in the backyard thinking she will come if I call her name. I miss her so much already. Now I have realized that the hardest thing you will ever have to do in life is learn how to say goodbye.

*HUGS*

Julie, Terry will be with you always,hon. Never doubt that for one moment. love, Brenda

Hi all Hugs Julie. I know this is hard, which is why I wrote this song for you - sung to the tune of John Denver's This old Guitar (take a hint. I will sing this at some opportune moment): Terry This old dog threw me a lifeline, She stayed with me through the hardtimes, Showed me how to laugh, how to cry, Made friends with me in my time. This old dog was faithful until death, She made us breathe with wonder, And she stole our thunder, With her calm resilient way, Oh what a dog, what a friend, what a companion, Terry

How sweet!

Thanks, Rob. That was very very sweet of you. All these things help me so much. It has been quite hard coping with this and it hasn't even been a week yet since she left me. I keep playing those last moments over and over again in my head. *sigh* Thanks everyone for being so sopportive during this tough time for me. I fully appriciate it. Hugs!

the sad memories will be replaced with the good ones in time!! and keep thinking about rainbow bridge--i know that has helped me. *HUGS*

guys, remember how i said i would post pictures of bro? well, i just developed a roll of film yesterday that had pictures of bro on it taken the day before we set him free. i could really see how sad and tired he looked. and it broke my heart all over again. the good thing is that i am remembering more things about his better days. i can almost feel him around me. and if you've read my posts about dreams in paraspring--you'll remember that i've been visited by my lost pets and friends. well, bro has only stopped by twice and it was so brief that i don't remember much of it. i am saddened that he hasn't visited me like the others have. julie, you sound so pepped in geo, how you hanging in there sweetie? *HUGS* thank you guys very much for being here for us.

*HUGS* I'm hanging in there Wolfie, thanks for asking. I know what you mean about sseing Bro and feeling him around you. I've been feeling the same way about Terry. Every time I go past the living room, I always turn my head to look at her bed still sitting on the floor by the fire place. I always think she's just laying there because the bed was bigger than her and sometimes we could barely see her in it unless we walked right up to it. I keep seeing ghosts of her walking trhough the halls like she used to do while we were sleeping. I wanted to go back and see her but I couldn't because on my ankle, but since its better now I will make a trip up to see her again sometime in the next few weeks. Since the day Terry left me I have been in the Pet Loss Chatroom at the Rainbows Bridge Website. It has helped so much. You should stop in there and you will see what I am talking about. It helps to share to others about your wonderful dog and it also helps to listen to other people talk about their cherished fu babies as well. Everyone is very sweet on there. Some of the people on there are acually pet loss counsolers and they help you get through things. They helped me out so much. But some days I still start crying for no reason at all. I really do feel lost without her and I am still figuring out what to do about this huge hole in my heart as well as my life that will never be completly filled again. But deep in my heart, I know she is standing right beside me, running when I take Allie for a walk, and snuggling next to me when I go to bed. Her spirit will always stay with me and Bro's will always stay with you too. Remember those memories that you had together and treasure them in your heart forever.

(((Wolfie)))Sorry I haven't been around Julie, I haven't met you before ... but you are in my thoughts now.

Don's cat of 20 years died today. I cleaned and put away her dishes while he buried her. She was a grey on grey tabby with slanted blue eyes. I am sorry I did not get a photo of her - but she looked pretty terrible while I knew her. I sent him a card and was here for him to hug when he wanted me to be. I guess that is all I can be! Suggestions?

Julie and Wolfie, My computer chose a really bad time to break down. I see you were in good hands with Brenda and Maggie and eachother. You know you have my love and concern always - and Hugs!

just to have patience (which you're full of) and to be there while he grieves and to remind him that he is allowed to. she lived to be a ripe old age too--never heard of cats living to be 20! *HUGS*

We're doing ok. Thanks, Wolfie. I have been sweeping and cleaning up evidences of her presence (masses of cat hair on the cellar steps and spilled kitty litter) so he will not have to do it. I worry about him being without her when I leave a week from today. *sigh* and I am going back to a very hostile HM. I am more than a little afraid.

Sometimes nature takes cruelty to the maximum in allowing a critter to live as long as Kitty Girl did. She had long since stopped grooming herself and her hair was matted thickly. She was mostly skin and bones and her knees did not bend so when she lay down, she just did a soft fall sideways. I had discussed with Don the possibility of humane death for her and he said when she stopped appearing for supper, he would do so. She stopped late last week. He told me Saturday night that he thought she was dying. I agreed softly. Nothing else was said until he told me he was going to the basement yesterday. We both knew unspoken. He has plenty of hugs whenever he needs them! Thanks for being so understanding. This is a great topic, guys! Support at a time like this is all-important!

I thought I was getting better, but I am not. I keep having nightmares about Terry. I have them almost every night now. I keep seeing her every where I go. I still cry about it too. Like last night, I just started crying for no reason at all. I don't know what to do. I tried talking to people about it but its not helping. I still spend a lot of time with Allie. I hold her and play with her, but then I accidently call Terry's name instead without thinking. Then I start crying again. I don't think my friends or even my parents understand how much I am hurting inside. I think I have come to the conclusion that my heart is completly broken and it will not ever mend again.

It will mend, honey, but those scars will always remind you of the pain of Terry's loss. Terry was your child - it makes sense to me! I am having pre-departing grief and I do not leave until Monday. I get hostile email from home and I am just about sick thinking of leaving here. I also worry that KittyGirl will not be here to keep him company. *SIGH*

*HUGS*

I'm sorry about KittyGirl, Marcia. Its so very hard. *sigh* Maybe you should show Don the rainbow bridge website. It may help him. It did help me a little. http://www.rainbowsbridge.com I hope every thing goes okay when you leave. I am keeping my fingers crossed. We are all here for you.

Thanks Julie! I will seek refuge in my PC when not packing. I think Rainbow Bridge is for females. The male of the species does not admit to being so moved. Don seems like the sort who pushes that stuff out of his mind as much as possible, but I will leave notes to remind him. Thanks Guys! I know I will make it with all your hugs and concern.

Why do scents fade away? I was cleaning the corner of my room today and I found the clothes I had worn on that aweful day. I had held Terry for so long in those clothes. I remember coming home and seeing haris and dirt all over my shirt and shorts. I decided I just counld't wash them so I folded them up that night and put them in a corner in my room. I took them out today and they don't smell like her scent anymore and I can't see any hairs anymore either. I suppose there is no point in not washing them anymore either.

Memories never fade. It was something I learned all too well yesturday. We stopped by at the vets office to pick up Allie's Heartgaurd. It was my first time going in the office since that hard day back in June. I was in there for 5 seconds and then I had to run out tears streaming down my face. I just couldn't handle it. Today though we went up to Calabases to the L.A Pet Park to see Terry. I had forgotten how beautiful and peaceful it was up there. We had a hard time finding Terry cause her marker was covered up with grass. Sean and I have decided that we will pitch in and get her a stone so it will be easier to find her amoung the hundreds of other pets in the memorail park there. While we were there, 8 other familes came to see their beloved pets. One guy even brought his dog. 7 months and still I feel like Terry has been gone a lifetime. How are you doing Wolfie?

I miss Bro every single day and still feel guilty for leaving him before the vet gave him the final shot. It was hard just to be in the room knowing he wasn't leaving with me. He has since visited a couple of times in my dreams and has forgiven me. But I still swear I hear him in the house. I don't even say his name around KoKo because I'm afraid she'll be sad too. And when I go to the vet for her, they still have Bro's name on our file with the word "deceased" next to it. I hate seeing that. *HUGS*

the guilt has returned. of course, it could be part of PMS, since i am feeling vulnerable right now. I MISS BRO!!! i feel selfish for walking out on him and for also letting him suffer as long as i did. i want him back really bad, maybe so i can tell him i'm sorry. i know i'm on the verge of losing kokomo too (she's 13 now). she doesn't act like she's in any pain but i know it's hard for her to get up. what am i going to do with her gone too? it's a rhetorical question, i know the answer.