Quote of the day

"I want to find out who this FICA guy is and how come he's taking so much of my money." --Nick Kypreos

oops. I guess I posted my 'thought' in the wrong place... perhaps it shoulda gone here.

it's perfectly swell just where it is...

thank you!

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." --Brooke Shields

did she really say that??? When?? Where??? At what age????

not sure when, but she was attempting to demonstrate why she should become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign

and she didn't get the job, I hope.

don't know that, either...

"A cow may be drained dry; and if the Chancellors of the Exchequer persist in meeting every deficiency that occurs by taxing the brewing and distilling industries, they will inevitably kill the cow that lays the golden milk." --Sir Frederick Milner

"I have a documented case of one boy [traveling] 35 days across Texas with a chicken. Everyone wants to know why the boy came home. The chicken was worn out. A chicken can take only so much travel." --H. Ross Perot

"A Boy's Best Friend!" - Take that, Lassie!

Hmmm...

Alborg, Denmark -- This region is in the midst of a drought so severe that officials are urging everyone to sacrifice their modesty -- by showering with a friend! "We've all seen naked people of both sexes, so let's do the right thing and bathe together -- because every drop of water counts," said conservation boss Ulrik Topgaard.

wonder if their birth rates will jump up in 9 months??

*shrug*

I had forgotten all about this conference! Today!

Hey! I get the quote du jour ...shall I post them when I get them? Your quotes for February 1, 2000 are: "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." -- Martin Luther King Jr. "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." -- Oscar Wilde "Black holes are where God divided by zero." -- Steven Wright

Your quotes for February 2, 2000 are: "We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." -- Vince Lombardi "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -- Arthur Schopenhauer "There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." -- Frank Zappa

From TFTD-L@TAMU.EDU Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. -Dan Zevin

Your quotes for February 3, 2000 are: "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." -- Walt Disney "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." -- Isaac Asimov "It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts." -- G. B. Burgin ======================================================= TFTD-L@TAMU.EDU * In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man." -- Mark Twain

Your quotes for February 4, 2000 are: "I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means." -- Clarence Darrow, Scopes Trial, 1925. "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." -- Henry Ford "The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth." -- Niels Bohr ******************* TFTD-L@TAMU.EDU One of the Ten Commandments for Technicians: (1) Beware the lightening that lurketh in the undischarged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.

Your quotes for February 5, 2000 are: "Wit is educated insolence." -- Aristotle "A narcissist is someone better looking than you are." -- Gore Vidal "The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." -- Plutarch

Your quotes for February 6, 2000 are: "I'll sleep when I'm dead." -- Warren Zevon "There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread." -- Mahatma Gandhi "The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head." --Jean Cocteau

Your quotes for February 7, 2000 are: "Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." -- Sir Winston Churchill "I would have made a good Pope." -- Richard M. Nixon "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation." -- H. H. Munro

Your quotes for February 8, 2000 are: "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them." -- Samuel Palmer "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." -- Jean-Paul Sartre "It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." -- George Bernard Shaw

TFTD-L@TAMU.EDU * His face looked like an ice sculpture. Not one of those pretty ones in the middle of a cruise ship buffet, but the kind they do in a contest with a chainsaw -- and it had been out in the heat too long.

Your quotes for February 9, 2000 are: "Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler." -- Albert Einstein "No one can earn a million dollars honestly." -- William Jennings Bryan "It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating." -- Oscar Wilde

Your quotes for February 10, 2000 are: "When ideas fail, words come in very handy." -- Goethe "He who hesitates is a damned fool." -- Mae West "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -- General George Patton

See my posting on preoccupation - I could do with some words, let alone ideas, although I did find some nice cockney ones when I was looking for something else (see travel/england)

Your wish is my command (thank you, Lucie!): One day at a time is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. Do not be troubled about the future, for it has not come. Live in the present, make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

Your quotes for February 11, 2000 are: "There is no sincerer love than the love of food." -- George Bernard Shaw "I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking." -- Katherine Cebrian "I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it." -- Steven Wright

Reactions: nope nope I like that one

Yup! Agreed. If you see the horses running toward the cliff, you want to disengage the stage coach. -Dean Barkley Commenting on the possibility of leaving the Reform Party along with Jesse 'Whatever' Ventura

Naw, I'm not giving up on the thesis yet!

That's good news. After all, this is the endpoint of your degree, not the beginning. Thou shalt not fail...we want to cry "Huzzah" and good things like that for you!

Thanks, it's been a tough week.

*Hugs* of support and commiseration... Just pop in for a chat anytime you are sagging at the reins. We shall buoy you when you need us to be there!

*hugs* back. I appreciate that.

Quotes for February 12, 2000 are: "The great dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding." -- Justice Louis D. Brandeis "The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty." -- James Madison "Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. " -- Oliver Herford

The last one's certainly true of my professor (and me)!!!

Aren't they all??? *lol* Quotes for February 13, 2000 are: "Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." -- Lily Tomlin "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -- Hanlon's Razor (from Murphy's Laws) "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." --William Jennings Bryan

Yeah, go with the last one. (see my earlier comments somewhere!)

Quotes for February 15, 2000 are: "There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?" -- Dick Cavett "Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid." --George Bernard Shaw "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." --Samuel Butler

Some days you must learn a great deal. But you should also have days when you allow what is already in you to swell up and touch everything. If you never let that happen, then you just accumulate facts, and they begin to rattle around inside of you. -E. L. Konigsburg, Author of books for children from Kevin Eikenberry's Power Quotes as reported on a net bulletin board --------------------------------------------------------- "The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare." -- Michael Crichton, The Lost World "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." -- George Bernard Shaw "We should be agnostic about those things for which there is no evidence. We should not hold beliefs merely because they gratify our desires for afterlife, immortality, heaven, hell, etc." -- Julian Huxley, Religion without Revelation

From an Auschwitz survivor: They say time is a great healer. I am not sure about that. What time does give you is perspective. that I spend much of my time working for better understanding between religious groups, and fighting racism as hard as I can, is partly because I know that you can only be safe and secure in a cosiety that practices tolerance, cherishes harmony and celebrates difference. (from Chasing Shadows by Hugo Gryn with Naomi Gryn)

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." -- Plato "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -- Antoine de Saint Exupery "In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." -- Paul Dirac TFTD-L@TAMU.EDU We must believe in luck. How else can we explain the success of those we don't like? -Jean Cocteau

"He who hesitates is a damned fool." -- Mae West "Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -- Arthur C. Clarke

Your quotes for February 19, 2000 are: "The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. -- Emile Zola "A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies." -- Oscar Wilde "I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." -- Groucho Marx

"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better." -- A. J. Liebling "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." -- H. G. Wells "Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd." -- Voltaire

"Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons." -- Bertrand Russell "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -- Jackie Mason "Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." -- Frank Zappa

"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?" -- Woody Allen "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all." -- Ogden Nash "Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others." -- Jonathan Winters

* "Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." -- Frank Zappa Question: Who said, and where, that "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture!"

Don't know, but it is great...I'll ask John...!

I asked John. It was a trick question, was it not?! He, ever the patient scholar gave me the complete answer. Now, apologize! From a website maintained by Alan P. Scott: The original quote was 'Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.' No one really seems to know who said it first, and when. It has been attributed to Frank Zappa, Steve Martin and a host of others. Here is a listing of attributions of the quote and a common variant, which starts 'Dancing...' instead of 'Talking...': Laurie Anderson. Laurie Anderson is the most frequent attribution. That's where I saw the quote first myself, in her video Home of the Brave (Warner, 1986). She also said "How about a square dance?" as a riposte, which I think is pretty funny. However, that attribution is incorrect. She is not the originator of the quote, nor does she pretend to be. Ponty Lox, an email correspondent, kindly informed me on May 30, 1998 that in Mark Russell's book Out of Character (Bantam, January 1997), Anderson attributes this quote to Steve Martin. This was enough to get me to pull the quote from my section on Laurie Anderson's quotes. Anderson herself is quite clear that Steve Martin said it; Thornley Jobe, another kind correspondent, sent me a link to an online copy of the listeners' mail section of National Public Radio's Morning Edition for January 14, 2000, in which they speak with Anderson herself and she confirms this. And, though not by name, the NPR commentator actually mentions this page! While I have no trouble believing that Anderson heard it from Martin, and also that Martin's certainly capable of coming up with something this witty, I'm still not sure I believe she's correct about its ultimate origin. Other citations insist that this quote has been around longer than Martin's career. I'd like to hear what Martin says about it. Anyway, though it may seem a moot point now, here's the rest of the list I compiled in '96: Frank Zappa - next most common; still too many to count, though. William S. Burroughs, at least twice, plus one maybe ("A certain William" on one Website that I didn't record). Steve Martin - three times, once by Laurie Anderson (see above). Elvis Costello - twice, but tentatively to "Frank Zappa" on one of the same pages. Charles Mingus - twice, but repeated many times on one, a music Web site (http://www.popi.com/). Nick Lowe - once. Thelonius Monk - twice in Usenet posts, but both times without certainty. Martin Mull - once. Miles Davis - once. George Carlin - once. Mark Mothersbaugh (Devo) - once. W.G. "Snuffy" Walden, TV music composer (from Burlingame, Jon, "TV's Biggest Hits...") - once, and probably a real latecomer. John Cage, from a Usenet post archived at http://newalbion.com/artists/cagej/silence/text/silence1003.txt (thanks to Ponty for pointing this one out). One guy attributes the quote to "L. Anderson/S.Martin/F.Zappa/E.Costello?", which at least acknowledges the uncertainty. Then there's a variant version, "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." At one point the Lexmark company maintained a quote server (http://www.lexmark.com/) which attributed this version of the quote to "Anonymous," a big help. Howard Shih "paraphrases" the above variant as being from Laurie Anderson. On the other hand, this variant is attributed to Frank Zappa by this site, several Usenet posts on rec.music.movies, and a site at Carnegie-Mellon which I don't feel like keying in...and to Elvis Costello by the band Gherkin, and by a couple of other Usenet cites. This variant is also attributed to "Thelonious Monk" [sic] by a Usenet .sig belonging to alek@best.com. copyright 1999, Alan P. Scott ______________________________________________________

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -- Steven Wright "Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees." -- David Letterman "The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." -- Napoleon Bonaparte

No great advance has ever been made in science, politics, or religion, without controversy. -Lyman Beecher

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." -- Charles Schultz "The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down." -- Flip Wilson "I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them." -- H. L. Mencken I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton

Oops. Sorry --Marcia

"You always pass failure on the way to success." --Mickey Rooney "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." -- Winston Churchill "Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to." --Mark Twain "Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony." -- Robert Benchley

TAMU.EDU What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. -Will Rogers

"It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it." -- Mark Twain "Living in a vacuum sucks." -- Adrienne E. Gusoff "What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance." -- Henry Havelock Ellis "Out of every fruition of sucess, no matter what, comes forth something to make a new effort necessary." -- Walt Whitman

"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens." -- Dwight David Eisenhower "All the world's a cage." -- Jeanne Phillips "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Former Vice President Dan Quayle

In politics stupidity is not a handicap. --Napolean Bonaparte

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." -- Saint Jerome "How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to." -- Goethe "D'you call life a bad job? Never! We've had our ups and downs, we've had our struggles, we've always been poor, but it's been worth it, ay, worth it a hundred times I say when I look round at my children." -- Somerset Maugham, "Of Human Bondage"

"There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact." -- Mark Twain "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx "Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all." -- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg "I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Benjamin Franklin

"Everything has been figured out, except how to live." -- Jean-Paul Sartre Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." -- H. Jackson Brown Jr. "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -- Robert Frost

"The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost." -- William Carlos Williams "Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance." -- Oscar Wilde " All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second." --Jim Fiebig

"Life is cheap. It's the accessories that kill you." -- Anon. "None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives." -- Kathleen Norris "We aim above the mark to hit the mark." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are." -- Tobias Wolffe

"The very essence of the creative is its novelty, and hence we have no standard by which to judge it." -Carl R. Rogers "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." -Sophocles "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." -Bumper Sticker "Since I've become a celebrity, when I bore people, they assume it's their fault." -Henry Kissinger "The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you." -Lady Astor

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. -- Mark Twain The most predictable thing about the stock market is the number of experts who take credit for predicting it. -- Dave Weinbaum No mind is thoroughly well-organized that is deficient in a sense of humor. -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

As I look in the mirror I see, And my wondering never ceases, How year after year I receive, My cost of living in creases! (Richard Armour)

*lol* When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out. --Otto von Bismarck

Intelligence is like a river: the deeper it is, the less noise it makes. -- Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. -- Elvis Costello Adolescence is like a house on moving day -- a temporary mess. -- Julius Warren

Sign: "Highway of Life -- Prepare to Pay Tolls" -- Bob Thaves (Frank & Ernest) I'm not going to grow old gracefully. I'm going to do it kicking, screaming and complaining!" -- Stephanie Piro (Fair Game) One mosquito to another: "Sure, I believe in reincarnation -- in my previous life I was an IRS agent!" -- Bob Thaves (Frank & Ernest) I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter. --Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662) "A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds." -- Francis Bacon

I'm not going to grow old gracefully. I'm going to do it kicking, screaming and complaining!" -- Stephanie Piro (Fair Game) That's me. I intend to grow old discgracefully and have made my intentions quite clear to my family.

Nothing seems to make children more affectionate than sticky hands! Franklin Jones Children seldom misquote you. In fact they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn�t have said! O.A. Battista

Oh Maggie - those are delicious quotes! I may have to grow up but I refuse to grow old!!! I'm with you!

I really shocked the rector ( an earlier one) I don't think he ever really approved of me. oh dear!

His loss, I am sure. I have found that one cannot be what everyone wants you to be without losing self. Been there and did that. Most destructive!

``I'm afraid there's a few things in this movie that couldn't quite happen. Having people in space take their helmets off is wonderful drama, but ...'' --Former astronaut BUZZ ALDRIN, at the premiere of the space drama``Mission to Mars.'' ``I can't quantify what it is, but it's vibrations that we all feel it reminds us where we came from and where we're going.'' --jazz guitarist PAT METHENY, on what he sees as the universal appeal of music. "It's always been a friend to me, through relationships that haven't always lasted, friendships that have come and gone or business associates, the piano has always been a great source of comfort and friendship.'' --singer-songwriter BILLY JOEL, describing what the piano has meant to his life at the kickoff of a museum exhibit celebrating the instrument's 300th anniversary. "There's no such thing as coulda, shoulda, or woulda. If you shoulda and coulda, you woulda done it." -- Pat Riley TV is chewing gum for the eyes. -- Frank Lloyd Wright

People who need people are people who don't realize just how annoying people can be. -- J Wagner (Crabby Road) Did Mary and Joseph ever get up enough nerve to send Jesus to his room? -- Bil Keand (Family Circus) Just because something's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty. -- Matthew J. Siske Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last. -Charlotte Bronte (from Jane Eyre) One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon -- instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. -Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) American writer and speaker Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life in which you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." --Fran Lebowitz "A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin." --H.L. Mencken "It ain't so much the things you don't know that get you in trouble. It's the things you know that just ain't so." --Artimus Ward

Don't tell me about the phone - I just live here and i'm becoming an automated answering machine.

"You don't manage people; you manage things. You lead people." - Admiral Grace Hooper No time for your health today; no health for your time tomorrow. -Irish Proverb "Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it." - Oprah Winfrey

Capital is the fruit of labor and could have never existed if labor had not first existed. -- Abraham Lincoln "What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print." -- Isadora Duncan For the creator of Geo: "Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night." -- Anon.

"Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours." -- H.L. Mencken "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author." -- G. K. Chesterton "Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine millimeter bullet." -- Dave Barry

May those that love us, love us; and those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping. -Old Irish Toast "Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses." - George Washington Carver

"Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats." -- Howard Aiken "Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell." -- Anon. "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." -- Abbie Hoffman

*---- Quote of the Day ----* I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman If you're going through hell, keep going. -Sir Winston Churchill "History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats." - B.C. Forbes

"May you live every day of your life." -- Jonathan Swift "What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes "Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be." -- Jeremy Schwartz

"There is real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment." - Norman Vincent Peale "We advance on our journey only when we face our goal, when we are confident and believe we are going to win out." - Orsen Swett Marden

"To talk to someone who does not listen is enough to tense the devil." -- Pearl Bailey "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." -- Anon. "Once you get into this great stream of history, you can't get out." -- Richard Nixon The meaning of America is not to be found in a life without toil. Freedom is not only bought with a great price; it is maintained by unremitting effort. --Calvin Coolidge, US President (1924-1928) My Country, right or wrong" is a thing no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, "My mother, drunk or sober." --Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer

"Only in solitude do we find ourselves; and in finding ourselves, we find in ourselves all our brothers in solitude." -- Miguel de Unanimo "If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?" -- Anon. "It's easy to cry 'bug' when the truth is that you've got a complex system and sometimes it takes a while to get all the components to co-exist peacefully." -- Doug Vargas "Your opponent is yourself, your negative internal voices, your level of determination." -- Grace Lichtenstein Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. --Frederick Douglass, (1817-1895) American writer As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight. And it is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air -- however slight -lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. -- Justice William O. Douglas, US Supreme Court (1939-75)

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity. --Eleanor Roosevelt Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) "I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is." -- Donald Trump

"Information Superhighway is really an acronym for 'Interactive Network For Organizing, Retrieving, Manipulating, Accessing And Transferring Information On National Systems, Unleashing Practically Every Rebellious Human Intelligence, Gratifying Hackers, Wiseacres, And Yahoos'." -- Keven Kwaku "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -- Helen Keller "As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand." -- Josh Billings

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. --- Woody Allen "Yesterday is a cancelled check. Today is cash on the line. Tomorrow is a promissory note." -- Hank Stram This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. -- The Dalai Lama (b. 1935) Tibetan spiritual leader

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." -- William Shakespeare "Nothing can so pierce the soul as the uttermost sigh of the body." -- George Santayana "Surely the glory of journalism is its transience." -- Malcolm Muggeridge

You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom. You can only be free if I am. -- Clarence Darrow (1857-1938) American lawyer "The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." - - Norman Schwartzkopf

"The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit." -- Mark Twain

"A country that has sold its soul for cement and petrol, and can only be saved by a series of earthquakes." -- Cyril Connolly, 1903-1974 "If there is a Hell, Rome is built on top of it." --German saying

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything." --Anatole France You don't promote the cause of peace by talking only to people with whom you agree. --Dwight David Eisenhower Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. --unknown

"Conceit is bragging about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done." -- Johnny Unitas

Plans are only good intention unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. -- Peter F. Drucker, German-American business consultant "Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them." -- John Updike Fredrich Wilhelm Nietzsche said, "If ye would go up high, then use your own legs! Do not get yourselves carried aloft; do not seat yourselves on other people's backs and heads!"

"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -- Gandhi "Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't." -- Richard Bach "All life is an experiment." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet

It is easier to suppress the first desire than to satisfy all that follow it. -- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist "In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled." -- Paul Eldridge "Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity." -- Russell Baker "Guns don't kill people. I do." -- Bumper Sticker

Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver. --Barbara De Angelis ,American Relationship Author "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie "Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present." -- Roger Babson "Us sing and dance, make faces and give flower bouquets, trying to be loved. You ever notice that trees do everything to git attention we do, except walk?" -- Alice Walker

"Nothing splendid was ever created in cold blood. Heat is required to forge anything. Every great accomplishment is the story of a flaming heart." -- Arnold H. Glasgow As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil that they set out to destroy. -- Christopher Dawson (1889-1970) English historian Don't join the book burners. Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet

"Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase. That's what wild geese are for." Anonymous "In order for you to profit from your mistakes, you have to get out and make some." Anonymous "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." Plato "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." Tom Robbins, from Still Life with Woodpecker

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. -- Dave Barry =========================================== Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. =========================================== Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats--approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. =========================================== Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

Nature is too thin a screen; the glory of the omnipresent God bursts through everywhere. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet The rapprochement of peoples is only possible when differences of culture and outlook are respected and appreciated rather than feared and condemned, when the common bond of human dignity is recognized as the essential bond for a peaceful world. --William Fulbright, (1905-1995) American politician Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! --Extreme Bumper Stickers "I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time..." -- Charles Dickens

"Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be." -- Kahlil Gibran "Few of us have vitality enough to make any of our instincts imperious." -- George Bernard Shaw "What does not kill me makes me stronger." -- Friedrich Nietzsche What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. --Sigmund Freud, (1856-1939) Psychoanalyst

"I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway." -- Dr. Dwight Van de Vate, Professor of Philosophy, University of Tennessee at Knoxville ...crisis simultaneously loosens the stereotypes and provides incremental data necessary for a fundamental paradigm shift. --Thomas Kuhn, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions "Make voyages. Attempt them. There's nothing else." -- Tennessee Williams

"You cannot hold back a good laugh any more than you can the tide. Both are forces of nature." -- William Rotsler "You can pretend to be serious but you can't pretend to be witty." -- Sacha Guitry "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." --W.H. Auden," The Dyer's Hand

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction." -- General Douglas MacArthur It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. --Max Forrester Eastman (1883-1969) American writer & editor The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous. --Unknown "A difference which makes no difference is not a difference." -- Mr. Spock "Open up my head and let me out!" -- Dave Matthew's Band "There is no happiness for people at the expense of other people." -- Anwar Sadat

Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he has had some fun, some joy, some real satisfaction, that day is a loss. --Dwight David Eisenhower "Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects." -- Lester B. Pearson "Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house." -- James Thurber "All the world's a cage." -- Jeanne Phillips: "Well done is better than well said." -- Benjamin Franklin A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as "you could blow it in" may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to make a travesty of the game. -- Donald A. Metz

No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck. -- Frederick Douglass, (1817-1895) American abolitionist "The empires of the future are the empires of the mind." -- Winston Churchill

"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work." -- Thomas Watson

"Finish with every day and be done with it .... some blunders and absurdities no doubt creep in; but get rid of them and forget them as soon as you can .... You should not waste a moment of today on the rottenness of yesterday." --Dr Paul Faulkner

"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." -- Dale Carnegie Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. --F.J. Raymond He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. --Albert Einstein The mind has power. Many minds of the same though have great power So I say to you that this time of sorrow shall indeed take place. But out of the ashes shall rise the new World of Reason. --Aradia di Toscano "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." -- Cyril Connolly "One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." -- Elbert Hubbard "Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers." -- Edward Shepherd Mead

"Remember, you can't steal second if you don't take your foot off first." --Mike Todd It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. -- Charles Darwin (1809-1882) English naturalist The mind has power. Many minds of the same though have great power So I say to you that this time of sorrow shall indeed take place. But out of the ashes shall rise the new World of Reason. --Aradia di Toscano So long as they don't get violent, I want to let everyone say what they wish, for I myself have always said exactly what pleased me. --Albert Einstein

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." -- Richard Feynman "I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know." -- Garry Shandling "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away." -- Tom Clancy "Fools admire, but men of sense approve." -- Alexander Pope "Truth is generally the best vindication against slander." -- Abraham Lincoln, letter to Secretary of War Edwin Stanton, July 18, 1864 "Never give advice unless asked." -- German Proverb Be glad for life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to look up at the stars. --Henry Van Dyke

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter F. Drucker, German-American business consultant Why does a 'slight tax increase' cost you two hundred dollars and a 'substantial tax cut' save you thirty cents? --Peg Bracken

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." -- Fred Allen "He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him." -- Eddie Cantor

"Doubt whom you will, but never yourself." -- Christine Bovee "Know how to ask. There is nothing more difficult for some people, nor for others, easier." -- Baltasar Gracian "It has all been very interesting." -- Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, last words, 1762 A great revolution of character in just a single man will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and, further, will cause a change in the destiny of all mankind. - Daisaku Ikeda, founder of the Soka Gakai

I feel like I'm in a rut. Every time I go to bed at night, I find myself just getting up again in the morning. ---Brad Stine The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him. -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist and poet He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. --Anwar Sadat "It is reasonable to have perfection in our eye that we may always advance toward it, though we kow it can never be reached." --Samuel Johnson

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." -- Douglas Adams "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying." -- Woody Allen "Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in." -- Evan Davis "I dote on his very absence." -- William Shakespeare "A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11 inch paper cannot be understood." -- Mark Ardis "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." -- Bert Taylor

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. --Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) Scientist and mathematician "Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends." -- Woody Allen "Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering." -- Buckminster Fuller "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance." -- William Shakespeare "Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work." --Bette Davis

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death! --Patrick Henry, (1736-1799) American revolutionary and orator

"If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking." -- Lyndon Baines Johnson "The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!" -- Ashleigh Brilliant "He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike." -- William Shakespeare Rest not! Life is sweeping by; Go and dare before you die. Something mighty and sublime Leave behind to conquer time. --Goethe, 1749-1832) German poet

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice -- that is, until we have stopped saying, "It got lost," and say, "I lost it." -Sydney J. Harris

"Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it." -- Unknown "Efficiency is intelligent laziness." -- David Dunham "There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead." -- Arthur Honegger

"I have nothing against the income tax. It's just that every time my ship comes in, the government unloads it." -- Unknown Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. --Nathaniel Hawthorne, (1804-1864) American writer "I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." -- Woody Allen "Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occured to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths." -- Bertrand Russell "Every crowd has a silver lining." -- Phineas Taylor Barnum

"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities." -- Frank Lloyd Wright "He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes it was three; I attended their funerals." -- Mark Twain "The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get into the office." -- Robert Frost Imagination is more important than knowledge. --Albert Einstein

They copied all they could follow, but they couldn't copy my mind, I left 'em sweating and stealing, a year and a half behind. --Rudyard Kipling from "The Mary Gloster" Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. -- Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English writer English novelist Anthony Trollope said, "Of the needs a book has, the chief need is that it be readable."

"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office." -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" "All marriages are mixed marriages." -- Chantal Saperstein "She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- W. Somerset Maugham "Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown." --Ross Perot You manage things; you lead people. --Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right. --Mahatma Gandhi, (1869-1948) Indian nationalist "When ideas fail, words come in very handy." -- Goethe "I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong." -- Bertrand Russell "What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?" -- Irv Kupcinet "My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso." --Pablo Picasso

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. --John W. Gardner, social commentator "Act as if it were impossible to fail." --Dorothea Brand "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is." -- Chuck Reid "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." -- Isaac Asimov "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." -- Richard P. Feynman

Good plumbing is important.

Yup! The last famous personage to fall victim to poor plumbing (1000 years after the Romans left it to the natives and they did not keep it workable) was Prince Albert who contracted Typhoid Fever from Windsor Castle's primitive sweage system.

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." -- George Bernard Shaw "Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity." -- Albert Camus "Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life." -- Robert Byrne "Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one's aim." --John D. Rockefeller Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying. --Christian Gellert, (1715-1769) German poet

"There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose." --Kin Hubbard

"Real tragedy is never resolved. It goes on hopelessly for ever." Chinua Achebe

*...sigh...* "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." --Beverly Sills

Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight;indecision is a dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind it. --Gordon Graham, American motivational speaker Many a doctrine is like a window pane. We see truth through it but it divides us from truth. --Khalil Gibran, Arab poet "The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television." -- Unknown "I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave." -- E. M. Forster, as a small child "God help those who do not help themselves." -- Wilson Mizner

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." -- Johnny Carson "It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do." -- Jerome K. Jerome "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" -- Steven Wright "Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number." -- James Estes

"There is only one way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it everything." --Vince Lombardi When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them. --John Glenn, US politician

"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." - Unknown *** "Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in." - Evan Davis *** "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance?" - Ronald Reagan

"I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet." -Bruce Sterling "Information Superhighway

"The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it." -William Gibson

My hairy chest pounder would agree with the latter, but I heartily disagree. "To begin to think with purpose is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment." --James Allen When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic. --John Kenneth Galbraith (b. 1908) Economist The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much. --unknown

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion." -- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary "I just need enough to tide me over until I need more." -- Bill Hoest "Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true." -- Solomon Short

"Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve." -- George Bernard Shaw "Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it." -- Elias Schwartz "One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you." -- Larry Gelbart

"No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor." --Andrew Carnegie That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude. --Alexander Haig, (b. 1924) American politician

"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on." -- Oscar Levant "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." -- Voltaire (1694-1778) "It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." -- George Bernard Shaw Religious factions will go on imposing their will on others unless the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no place in public policy. They must learn to make their views known without trying to make their views the only alternative. -Barry Goldwater, US politician (from a speech in 1981) Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. --Lily Tomlin

It's not good to say "thank you" and not mean it, but it's even worse to mean it and not say it. --Cited in BITS & PIECES "No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it." -- Charles Schulz "Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, "The Little Prince" "Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?" -- Woody Allen

Legend - a lie that has attained the dignity of age. -- H. L. Mencken "Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things." -- Woody Allen "An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attornety can delay one even longer." -- Evelle J. Younger "The big thieves hang the little ones." -- Czech proverb

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns. --Jack Handey I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday'. --Steven Wright My girlfriend is weird. She asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, then forget it.'" --Steven Wright

Justice is incidental to law and order. --J. Edgar Hoover (1895-1972) American lawyer and FBI director

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. --Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French writer

"Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chcats pleasantly while he's overcharging you." -- Kin Hubbard "You live and learn. At any rate, you live." -- Douglas Adams "If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style." -- Quentin Crisp

"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it." --Alexander Graham Bell

Today's 'Confused-Us' Saying... "a great idea needs landing gear, not just wings." Random Thought... "Remember, even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat" Another Random Thought... "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn. - Don Herold" And Another Random Thought... "For neatness, always draw the curves first, and afterwards plot the data" Still Another Random Thought... "The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights" Yet Another Random Thought... "Press -- to continue" Murphy's Law of the Day... "If a project requires n components, there will be n-1 units in stock." Computer Tagline... "Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...." Today's Steven Wright Joke... "I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic." Today's 'You Might Be A Redneck If' (tm) Joke... "You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel." Today's Sniglet(tm)... "Mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation of grass on the underside of lawnmowers." Today's Book Hype... "Playing with the Christmas Fire: Yule B. Sari" Today's Actual Headline... "JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING VICTIM"

A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed. --Ibsen (1828-1906) Norwegian poet and playwright "When you've got something to prove, there's nothing greater than a challenge." --Terry Bradshaw "It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." -- Jerome K Jerome "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell "The family is one of nature's masterpieces." -- George Santayana

"Learn not only to find what you like, learn to like what you find." -- Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book "They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're having them." -- Eeyore, Pooh's Little Instruction Book "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." -- Helen Keller

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station... *** Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. *** Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...Teach him how to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

If any many wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. --Goethe, 1749-1832) German poet

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, on Chicago Bulls team chemistry being overrated

Kinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds authority. Kinkler's Second Law: All the easy problems have been solved. "The difference between perseverance and obstinancy is, that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't." --Henry Ward Beecher The basic test of freedom is perhaps less in what we are free to do than in what we are free not to do. -Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) writer, philosopher, longshoreman

"Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?" -- Clarence Darrow "The only thing that's been a worse flop than the organization of non-violence has been the organization of violence." -- Joan Baez "Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!" -- Matt Frewer as Dr. Mike Stratford in "Doctor, Doctor"

"Our real problem, then, is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create that fact. --William James (1842-1910) Psychologist and philosopher "The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit." -- Nelson Henderson "People generally quarrel because they cannot argue." -- Gilbert K. Chesterton "The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." -- Oscar Wilde

"Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?'" -- Unknown "Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying." -- Christian Furchtegott Gellert "The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." -- Doug Larson

"Cosine, secant, tangent, sine, 3.14159" --MIT Cheer for their favorite irrational number as reported in Smithsonian, May 2000 Also reported in the May 2000 Smithsonain- Pi Day is celebrated each March 14 at 1:59pm at the San Francisco's Exploratorium. Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. --David Starr Jordan (1851-1931) American biologist/educator The possession of facts is knowledge, the use of them is wisdom. --Thomas Jefferson

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed. --C.G. Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychologist

"Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait....The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons, and results, and reasons simply don't count." -- Robert Anthony "I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot...when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result." --Michael Jordan

Michaels good enough, shoots well enough, and, gosh darn, people like him.

Who is Michaels? Not Al, surely! "Lawyers, I suppose, were children once." -- Charles Lamb "I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem." -- Ashleigh Brilliant "Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature." -- Tom Robbins "Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless." --Thomas Edison

Oh, Michael's good enough....Yup! He is an phenom and all those other words and he is NICE, too - seriously unusual in that sport - or anywhere! Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one. --Thomas Jefferson

"Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies." -- Ed Howe: "Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it." -- Gordon R. Dickson "Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten" -- B.F. Skinner "Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power." -- Seneca There is no way to truly influence a process except to dive into its dynamics, those forces that give it life and propel it to its present form. --Margaret Wheatley Author

"Power over persons is so dangerous a thing that only those can be trusted with it who do not want it." -Plato "The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools." -Herbert Spencer "The house of delusions is cheap to build, but drafty to live in." -A. E. Houseman "It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise.This is as true of men as of dogs." -Eric Hoffer "It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too." -Josh Billings "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -Martin Luther King "Yesterday is ashes, tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly." -Indian Saying "A leader is best when people barely know he exists, Not so good when people obey and acclaim him, Worse when they despise him, Fail to honor people, They fail to honor you. But of a good leader who talks little, When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, The people will say 'We did this ourselves.' " -Lao Tse (I know of a lot of politicians who need to read, memorize, and employ that one)

"Wisdom begins in wonder." -- Socrates "It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down resistance, sweeps away all obstacles." -- Claude M. Bristol "A crash is when your competitor's program dies. When your program dies, it is an 'idiosyncrasy'. Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like 'ID 02'. 'ID' is an abbreviation for idiosyncrasy and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had." -- Guy Kawasaki

"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances." --Martha Washington "Winning isn't everything. *Wanting* to win is." --Catfish Hunter, baseball pitcher "Humor comes from self-confidence. There's an aggressive element to wit." --Rita Mae Brown

"There is no knowledge that is not power." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

To John, Donn, Wolf, Ratthing, and all of the others who served our country, Thank you! You have my utmost gratitude and admiration. Dulce bellum inexpertis [War is delightful to those who have no experience of it] -Erasmus

Open 24 hrs All summer -Sign at local fast food restaurant. (Did somebody say __________?) Inquiring minds want to know if the 24 hours the restaurant will be open will be all at one time, one hour a day for 24 days, or evenly spread over the summer 1/4 of the year = 91.5 days. 24 hours = 1440 minutes / 91.5 days = 15.74 minutes a day

"Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark." -- Samuel Johnson "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." -- Marcus Aurelius "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." -- Albert Einstein The one who relies on authority during a discussion does not use his mind but his memory. -Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) Italian artist, scientist

No loss of flood and lightning, no destruction of cities and temples by hostile forces of nature, has deprived man of so many noble lives and impulses as those which his intolerance has destroyed. --Helen Keller (1880-1968) American author and lecturer "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." --Thomas Edison

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever." - Herb Caen "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) "Anyone who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot." - Groucho Marx (1895 - 1977)

You must get involved to have an impact. No one is impressed with the won-loss record of the referee. -John H. Holcomb

"Dreams are the touchstones of our character." -- Henry David Thoreau "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -- Eleanor Roosevelt "One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams." -- E. V. Lucas, 365 Days and One More

It is a mistake to believe that Uncle Sam can open his pocketbook and let you keep yours closed. --Los Angeles Times Syndicate (1978)

"It takes a great man to be a good listener." -- Calvin Coolidge "I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." -- Ernest Hemingway "A good listener tries to understand thoroughly what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but before he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with." -- Kenneth A. Wells, Guide to Good Leadership

"He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own." - Aesop "There is someone willing to argue about any point." -- I don't know, but I'll argue any attribution "It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it." -- Jeseph Joubert

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. --H.L.Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -- Mark Twain

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood." -- Louise Beal "The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -- Will Rogers "Fools rush in where fools have been before." -- Unknown

An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones. --William Somerset Maugham

"It is bad luck to be superstitious." - Andrew W. Mathis "A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat." - P. J. O'Rourke "Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks." - Eric Sevareid

"A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it." -- Sir Thomas Beecham "The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off." -- Anonymous "Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." -- Gandhi

"Politeness is one half good nature and the other half good lying." -- Mary Wilson Little "With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying." -- Bette Davis, on being told that her death was rumored "I don't mind being miserable as long as I'm painting well." -- Grace Hartigan

I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. -Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727) English physicist

With the Fourth fast approaching, I can think of no better way to celebrate the anniversary of America's independence than for us to remember what moved a determined band of patriots to lay down all for liberty, and then to promise never to forget. --Senator Joseph Lieberman (D) of Connecticut

"Call on God, but row away from the rocks." -- Indian Proverb "Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur." -- Muriel Spark "Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present." -- M. Somerset Maugham, "Of Human Bondage", 1915

"Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live." -- Margaret Fuller "Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock." -- Pablo Picasso "Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?" -- J. Paul Getty

Every religion is good that teaches man to be good. - The Rights of Man My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - The Rights of Man -Thomas Paine

"Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted." -- Hesketh Pearson "For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news." -- Gloria Borger "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." -- e. e. cummings

Once children learn how to learn, nothing is going to narrow their mind. The essence of teaching is to make learning contagious, to have one idea spark another. -Marva Collins American educator

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." -- Calvin Trillin "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." -- Mark Twain "The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything." -- Goethe (1749-1832)

Only in TEXAS??? Things just don't add up... Forty-six percent of Texas households have money invested in the stock market, compared with 52 percent that don't. -Scripps Howard Texas Poll

"The quickest way to end a war is to lose it." -- George Orwell "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do." -- Dale Carnegie

"An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible." -- Unknown "Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukelele." -- Bagdikian's Observation "The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children." -- Clarence Darrow

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. -Plato

"If you have to swallow a frog, try not to think about it. If you have to swallow two frogs, don't swallow the smaller one first." - Unknown

Higher gasoline prices caused by the shortage of oil. The less oil we have, the higher the price at the pump. There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA. Well, here's the answer: It's simple... nobody bothered to check the oil. We didn't know we were getting low! The reason for that is obviously geographical, all the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.!!! -Submitted by Herr Kemper in honor of 'Dipstick Dan, the Motor Man'

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm. -- Travis McGee

"The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him." - Jim Samuels

If you don't say anything, you want be called on to repeat it. -Calvin Coolidge

Sugar Land .... there is no equal. -Slogan of Sugar Land, Texas Houston is a neighbor of Sugar Land Imperial Sugar company town prior to 1959

"Giving is the highest expression of our power." -- Vivian Greene Only in America can you turn to a Jew for your hail-Mary pass. --William Safire, August 10, 2000, New York Times on the Web

There is something going on right now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling. --Steve Martin I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. --Danny McGoorty (1901-1970)

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." --Albert Einstein "Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks." --Laura Swenson

For Tom "I get out my work and have a show for myself before I have it publicly. I make up my own mind about it - how good or bad or indifferent it is. After that the critics can write what they please. I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free." - Georgia O'Keefe

"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing." --Anonymous

"Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides." - Margaret Thatcher

Jogging just one mile a day enables you, at 85 years of age,to spend an additional 3 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. -DrPhil

"If I feel strongly, I say it. I know I can do more good by being vocal than by staying quiet. I'd have a whole lot more money if I lied, but I wouldn't enjoy spending it." - Martina Navratilova

Happiness isn't something we experience, it's something we remember. -Oscar Levant

Always write a lot more letters than you send. -Dr. Jerry Niebaum TASSCC Conference January 24, 1994 * TASSCC - Texas Association of State Systems for Computing and Communications

"The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice." --Doug Larson "Happy is said to be the family which can eat onions together. They are, for the time being, separate, from the world, and have a harmony of aspiration." --Charles Dudley Warner

"It's when you try to sprint down a ball that everyone thinks is going out of bounds and you think it is too. But you go after it anyway and you get to it. Maybe you don't make a great cross with it to win the game, but you pushed yourself beyond what you thought you could. That's what it will take to win the gold." - Mia Hamm

"Power (n): The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA." --Anonymous "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." �Fred Allen

Hanging onto bitterness and resentment is like eating poison and expecting somebody else to die. -Unknown

"Genius is the gold in the mine, talent is the miner who works and brings it out." - Lady Marguerite Blessington

"If you want to touch the other shore badly enough, barring an impossible situation, you will. If your desire is diluted for any reason, you'll never make it." - Diana Nyad

Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree." -Russell Long

"The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it; when people are saying it can't be done." - Mary Francis Berry

"Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech." --Groucho Marx

===========FRIENDS============= "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."' -- Winnie the Pooh "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." --- Charles Caleb Colton "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend." --- Albert Camus. "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." "Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life." "Friendship is one mind in two bodies." --- Mencius "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." "If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." ---Stone Temple Pilots "I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." -----Dave Matthew's band "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them" "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere" --- Tim McGraw "My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." ---Lee Iacocca "Hold a true friend with both your hands." ---Nigerian Proverb "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." ---unknown

"Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success." - Stephen A. Brennan

If you want to go to Hell for stealing minnows, I'll furnish the minnows. -Miz Tackett (Sign over unattended minnow tank, Red River County, Texas)

"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg." --Unknown

"Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion." - John Welch

"Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does." - Josh Billings Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. -Robert Benchley

"Time has convinced me of one thing: Television is for appearing on--not for looking at." --Noel Coward "I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts." --Orson Wells "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping it's SPEED above fifty, and if it's SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down'." --Homer Simpson "If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me." --Olympia Dukakis, Steel Magnolias "Nothing is over until we decide it is. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!!" --John Belushi, Animal House "Televison is now so desperately hungry for material that they're scraping the top of the barrel." --Gore Vidal

There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I'm not positive I am thinking. -John M. Eades

When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. -Unknown

"Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." - Abraham Lincoln "A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students." --John Ciardi "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me." --Woody Allen "Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on Earth." --Will Rogers "In the hands of a teenager, a seat belt buckle is a lethal weapon." --National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Official on why there are no seatbelts on public school buses "Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening....The average American [should be] content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted to think about any other role." --U.S. Commissioner of Education William Harris, 1889 "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." --Mark Twain

Today's dry quotes... "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." --Mark Twain "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped." --Groucho Marx "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." --Groucho Marx "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs." --Samuel Goldwyn "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." --Bob Hope "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." --P. J. O'Rourke

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What good would that do? -Ronnie Shakes

Re the Groucho quote above, John Burnett adds: Actually, Groucho's quote was "Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped." And those were reportedly his final words. The man was a trouper to the end.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. -Doug Lars

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -Henny Youngman

"I've always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don't do things halfheartedly. Because I know if I do, then I can expect halfhearted results." - Michael Jordan It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. -Darrin Weinberg

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. -- Ambrose Bierce "Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." - John Quincy Adams

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis Team after its tour of Communist China. The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.

A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is visible labor and there is invisible labor. - Victor Hugo It's hard to detect good luck, it looks so much like something you've earned. - Fred A. Clark The truth is, if you asked me to choose between winning the Tour de France and cancer, I would choose cancer. Odd as it sounds, I would rather have the title of cancer survivor than winner of the Tour, because of what it has done for me as a human being, a man, a husband, a son, and a father. - Lance Armstrong (09/18/1971-) "It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life"

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of klnowledge, but rather a lack of will." - Vince Lombardi "The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore." - Dale Carnegie

"Pick battles important enough to fight and small enough to win." ~ Johnathan Kozol "Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think is laughable." ~Johanne Goethe

Lives of great men all remind us, We can make our lives sublime, And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time. ~H.W. Longfellow The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. ~Ann Landers

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste the adversity, prosperity would notbe so welcome." - Anne Bradstreet

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. - Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (02/28/1533-1592) You can only get a true reaction, response or understanding from people when you speak their own language. - E Pringle Monsanto should not have to vouchsafe the safety of biotech foods. Our interest is to sell as much of it as possible. Assuring it's safety is the FDA's job. - Phil Angell, Monsanto's director of corporate communication Q. Should you compare something "to" something else or "with" something else? A. Either is correct but most wordsmiths say you should compare something WITH something similar, while comparing something TO something different. If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. It may mean a giving up of familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in. As Dostoevsky put it, "Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most". - Gail Sheehy Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. - David Lloyd George We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within. - Earl Nightingale (-1989) Let right be done. - "The Winslow Boy" Give the world the best that you have, and the best will come back to you. - Madeline Bridges

Today's Quotes.... "This is not about momentum. It is about substance. I actually think that the best substance in the end is the best politics. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that that's true." ~ Vice President Al Gore If you can't convince them, confuse them. ~ Harry S. Truman

"I think it's probably a good thing to be considered stable, but with a capacity for madness." ~ Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips "Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don't even know if you owe." ~ Mark Twain

A filthy mouth will not utter decent language. -- Chinese Proverb A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. -- Ken Keyes, Jr.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood." -- Stephen Covey "Many people may listen, but few people actually hear." -- Harvey Mackay "It seems rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners." -- Erma Bombeck "If you wish to appear agreeable in society, you must consent to be taught many things which you already know." -- Johann Caspar Lavater "Most of us tend to suffer from 'agenda anxiety', the feeling that what we want to say to others is more important than what we think they might want to say to us." -- Nido Qubein

Let your ears hear what your mouth says. -- Jewish Proverb The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. -- Mark Twain

"There is no going alone on a journey. Whether one explores strange lands or Main Street or one's own backyard, always invisible traveling companions are close by: the giants and pygmies of memory, of belief, pulling you this way and that, not letting you see the world life-size but insisting that you measure it by their own height and weight." - Lillian Smith

"We are the people our parents warned us about." ~ Jimmy Buffett "We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover." ~ Parish Magazine

At a recent fundraiser, a politician was asked if he knew what Roe versus Wade was. He said he reckoned it was the decision that George Washington needed to make when he planned to cross the Delaware.

Many a man has been a wonder to the world, whose wife and valet have seen nothing in him that was even remarkable. - Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (02/28/1533-1592) Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. - Anthony Robbins The rock business has all the moral dignity of drug trafficking. - Allan Blum, "The Closing of the American Mind" Q. Which inventors came up with whole families of inventions? A. There have been two notable instances of inventors devising lots of interlocking inventions rather than one particular thing. Gutenberg didn't just invent the printing press -- he adapted a wine press for better printing impressions, came up with a rust-resistant metal alloy for type and devised an oil-based ink that could be dyed. Edison invented the entire system by which electricity is now distributed. It's a very tough, competitive world but I don't mean you have to cheat or steal to survive. You can change people by selling them the right way, and wind up with their money and their friendship. In fact if you don't get both, you won't be in business very long. - Joe Girard (02/01/28-) "How To Sell Anything To Anybody" You find that you have piece of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, and rest when you know that it was a 100% effort that you gave -- win or lose. - Gordie Howe I am convinced that some political and social activities and practices of the Catholic organizations are detrimental and even dangerous for the community as a whole, here and everywhere. I mention here only the fight against birth control at a time when overpopulation in various countries has become a serious threat to the health of people and a grave obstacle to any attempt to organize peace on this planet. - Albert Einstein, letter, 1954 Easy to do justice. Very hard to do right. - "The Winslow Boy" Commit yourself to a dream. Nobody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why? Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life's most important battle--he defeated the fear of trying.

If you can't bite, don't show your teeth. -- Yiddish Proverb A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head. -- Anon

If you take care of your character, your reputation will take care of itself. -- American Proverb And Then There's... You have two things in this world...your name and your word... no one can take them away from you, but you.

When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing. -Enrique Jardiel Poncela

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Leo Tolstoy When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. - a child's response when asked "What does love mean?" It is said that man's ability to reason is what separates him from the animals, but then again the animal kingdom has no equivalent to "championship wrestling." Q. Why is the person who's made to take the blame for others called a "scapegoat"? A. In Leviticus 16:20, Aaron is instructed by God to do the following: "[H]e shall bring forward the live goat. He shall lay both his hands on its head and confess over it all the iniquities of the Israelites and all their acts of rebellion, that is all their sins; he shall lay them on the head of the goat and send it away into the wilderness." This goat, which bore the sins of the children of Israel, came to be called the "escaping goat," or "scapegoat." Forgiveness is giving up hope for a better past. Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil; our great hope lies in developing what is good. - Calvin Coolidge The crisis of the West is the crisis of philosophy. - Allan Bloom, "The Closing of the American Mind" Everyone is rich that trusts themselves. - Kuldeep Gulati Why do we cry when we see huge accomplishments? We weep for the Secretariat inside all of us. In these poignant moments, we cry because we know for a fact that there is something in us that could be every bit as great as what we are watching. We are, for that moment, the very greatness we are seeing. But we get tears in our eyes because we know the greatness isn't being realized. - Steve Chandler, "100 Ways to Motivate Yourself"

"Vision is the art of seeing the invisible." -- Jonathan Swift "Never let your memories be greater than your dreams." -- Doug Ivester "I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been." -- Wayne Gretzky "Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them." -- Louisa May Alcott "The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it." -- Harry Emerson Fosdick

"Trust in God, but lock your car." ~ Anon "Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics." ~ Fletcher Knebel A man can know nothing of mankind without knowing something of himself. - Benjamin Disraeli To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform. - Theodore H. White Lawyers are like nuclear warheads. I have them because the other guy has them. - "Other People's Money" Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. - Ralph Waldo Emerson The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river. - H. Ross Perot Raphael paints wisdom; Handel sings it, Phidias carves it, Shakespeare writes it, Wren builds it, Columbus sails it, Luther preaches it, Washington arms it, Watt mechanizes it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. - Jack Kinder True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read; and in so living as to make the world happier and better for our living in it. - Pliny the Elder (23-79 A.D.)

The more you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed during war. -- Chinese Proverb It is no longer good enough to cry peace. We must act peace, live peace and live in peace. -- Native America Proverb

We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech. -Kathleen Dixon, Director of the Women's Studies Department, Bowling Green State University, Ohio as reported on Fox News

"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs...one step at a time." - Joe Girard

The Year is: 1800 1 vote gives Thomas Jefferson the presidency over Aaron Burr 1839 1 vote wins the Massachusetts governorship for Marcus Morton 1868 1 vote saves Andrew Johnson's presidency 1941 1 vote strengthens selective service before World War II 1960 1 vote per precinct gives JFK the presidency 2000 1 vote, your vote, can make the difference November 7th In America, as well as the rest of the world, 1 VOTE DOES MATTER. Be the ONE. Make the difference, SEND THIS TO A FRIEND.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use. - Galileo Galilei Virtue is not always amiable. - John Adams (1735-1826) All limitations are self-imposed. - Ernest Holmes All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will, to be rightful, must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal laws must protect, and to violate which would be oppression. - Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) Autumn leaves: Catch nature's finest show before it's too late. - CNN storyline The secret of success in life, is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. - Benjamin Disraeli I find politics the single most uninspiring, unemotional and insensitive activity on this planet. - Adam Ant

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." ~ Katharine Hepburn "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside a dog it's too dark to read." ~ Groucho Marx

A drunk came from a bar at two o'clock in the morning and promptly walked into the nearest light post. Unable to see straight, he felt the post carefully with his hands and proceeded to walk all around it three or four times, examining all sides of the post with his hands. Finally, he slumped down on the curb and buried his head in his hands. "It's no use," he sobbed. "I'm walled in."

From Evelyn *Hugs* Kierkegaard: "To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception. It is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, neither in time or in eternity."

"The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them which we are missing. -Gamel Abdel Nasser

One reason why George Washington Is held in such veneration: He never blamed his problems On the former Administration. -- George O. Ludcke

"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." ~ Robert A. Heinlein "I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt?... The one who wins gets a purse. They do it in gloves. It's the accessory connection I love." ~ John McGovern "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I'd just like to say to the authors of that study, "Duh!" ~ Conan O'Brien

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes, too." ~ Unknown

IMPORTANT VOTING DAY INFORMATION Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than originally expected, the polling facilities may not be able to handle the load all at once. Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on Tuesday, November 7, and Democrats, Independents, Green and Reform Party members, etc on Wednesday, November 8. Please pass this message along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out. -2000 Presidential Election Commission ************ tftd received this notice from many sources. However the 'message was garbled' in the text provided me by two close friends who are DemocRATS. tftd provides the correct version as a public service.

TFTD-L@TAMU.EDU X-UIDL: U[T"!F9J"!`7Y"!1d$"! I pray Heaven to bestow the best of Blessings on this House and all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise Men ever rule under this roof. -John Adams November 2, 1800 His second evening in the new White House 200 years ago this week

"I cannot discover that anyone knows enough to say definitely what is and what is not possible." - Henry Ford

"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers." ~ Woody Allen Sign at a railroad station: "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted."

"If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible." - Anthony Robbins

FAST FACTS: Politicians say the darndest things: "No man is an Ireland." --Chicago Mayor Richard Daley "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Vice President Dan Quayle "Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." --Rhodes Scholar Bill Clinton "The Internet is a great way to get on the Net." --Presidential candidate Bob Dole (Source: THE 267 STUPIDEST THINGS DEMOCRATS / REPUBLICANS EVER SAID)

"If one looks with a cold eye at the mess mankind had made of his history, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that he has been afflicted by some built-in mental disorder which drives him towards self-destruction. Murder within the species on an individual or collective scale is a phenomenon unknown in the whole animal kingdom, except for man, and a few varieties of ants and rats." - Arthur Koestler

marcia, boot msn!!!

Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that. ---Rhodes Scholar Bill Clinton

I did Sweetie...no one there!!! *sniff*

John Randolph, a vitriolic legislator from Virginia in the early decades of the American nation, was well known to be impotent. Few were the men, however, who dared cross him, and the House held its breath when a member, in the heat of debate, made some slanting reference to Randolph's lack of sexual prowess. Randolph rose to his feet and said coldly, "Sir, you pride yourself on an ability in which any ignorant barbarian is your equal and any jackass immeasurably your superior."

+---------------- Bizarre Political Insults ----------------+ "He makes George Bush seem like a personality" - Jackie Mason on John Major. "He is a sheep in sheep's clothing" - Winston Churchill on Clement Attlee. "Winston, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if I were your husband, I would drink it." - A conversation between Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill. "He could not see a belt without hitting below it." - Margot Asquith on David Lloyd George. "Richard Nixon impeached himself. He gave us Gerald Ford as his revenge." - U.S. politician Bella Abzug on Tricky Dickie. "Nixon's motto was, 'If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." - U.S. writer Norman Cousins. "Gerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the same time." - former U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson. "He is not only a bore, but he bores England." - Malcom Muggeridge on Anthony Eden. "I wouldn't say she is open-minded on the Middle East, so much as empty-headed. She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus." - Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Hatcher. "Harry Truman proves that old adage that any man can become President of the United States." - U.S. politician Norman Thomas. "A shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Harold Wilson on Edward Heath.

(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. (2) Great generals are forewarned. (3) Forewarned is forearmed. (4) Four is an even number. (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. (6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.

"A hangover is the wrath of grapes" ~ Anonymous

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.'" ~ Tommy Cooper "You get a lot of tension? You get a lot of headaches? I do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children" ~ Rosanne

We should be thankful for the good things we have and, also, for the bad things we don't have. -Anon

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. ~ Charles Kuralt It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. ~Muhammad Ali, 1977 quoted in New York Times

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula a postero. [Sieze the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow.] - Horace All hate is self hate. - David O. Mckay New music is old music played twice as fast and half as well. - James Douglass Morrison We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course powerful muscles, but no personality. - Albert Einstein (03/14/1879-1955) "Important if true". - inscription that Kinglake wanted on all churches If more people really pondered how much is enough in their lives, perhaps there would be a lot more truly satisfied folks in this world. - Linda S. Anderson There is one categorical imperative: Act so that every action of yours should be capable of becoming a universal rule of action for all men. - Immanuel Kant

I came--though the child of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents--to a deep religiousness, which, however, reached an abrupt end at the age of twelve. Through the reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic orgy of free thinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression. Mistrust of every kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude toward the convictions that were alive in any specific social environment -- an attitude that has never again left me. - Albert Einstein (03/14/1879-1955)

"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." ~ Katherin Whitehorn

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. -Henry Kissinger

"Life is a joke that has just begun." ~ Unknown "Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time." ~ Steven Wright "I got an "A" in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist." ~ Judy Tenuta

"He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of dogs barking through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abyss of pish and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash." - Henry Mencken, on Warren G. Harding

"Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. THose who think they have reached their goal, have missed it. Those who think they are saints, are demons. An important part of the spiritual life is to keep longing, waiting, hoping, expecting." - Henri Nouwen

Drug Addiction, n. A popular method of dealing with day-to-day living in the United States. ---Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. ---Billy Wilder

I will not wish thee riches nor the glow of greatness, But that wherever thou go Some weary heart shall gladden at thy smile, Or shadowed life know sunshine for a while. And so thy path shall be a track of light, Like angels' footsteps passing through the night. --words on a church wall in Upwaltham, England

"If you would not be forgotten, As soon as you are dead and rotten, Either write things worth the reading, Or do things worth the writing." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. Herbert Henry Asquith (1852 - 1928) Wagner's music is better than it sounds. Bill Nye (1850 - 1896), quoted in Mark Twain's Autobiography, 1924 - More quotations on: [Music] I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents. Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed. Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)