A Jane Austen Soap Opera

Some plots would be missing : the alien abduction, the spy and some kind of spy agencies, the illegetimate child (although this one is possible), and so many other :)

I finally stopped watching the soap that I was faithful to for 15 years, because they buried a leading character alive, funeral, coffin the whole bit. After she was buried we hear her voice say "Why is it so dark? Where am I?" I was so disgusted, I turned it off in a huff and have never looked back!

Cheryl was that Days of our Lives, by any chance.

Dr. Marlena Evans. I think that is when I stopped watching. Either that or Stefano returning for the 43 time.

Why yes, it was DOOL, and it was Carly who was buried alive. That show is infamous for bring people back from the dead...why, one would think that Salem was the site of the Second Coming!

Anne, that would commercialised Jane Austen's works to an even greater extent.. I hope no one from the network sees this!!

Reminds me of an article I read last year (in Toronto Arts Newspaper?). I can't find it currently on the internet, but I kept a copy (from Feb 15, 1996). ASUTEN-MANIA MELTDOWN: Secret Memo betrays all-Austen cable conspiracy by Tom Lyons. The article purports to be setting up an all-Austen format for a cable tv channel. It includes a possible future schedule. A few examples: 8 p.m. Movie:****Sense and Sensibility 5: The Dashwoods in Moscow (Drama). Julia Ormond, Lisa Kudrow. The Dashwoods lose their tiny Moscow apartment to Communist Party officials. Mrs. Dashwood is tortured to death. Marianne must choose between dull Red Army man and dashing spy. The Simpsons: Bart is sent home from school after insisting that Jane Austen has a bionic eye. 1:30 a.m. Movie: **Pride and Prejudice XXI: Black Wedding (Horror). Margot Kidder, John Saxon. Upset that Elizabeth Bennet has spurned his marriage proposals, Mr. Collins hides in the cellar of Longbourn, killing off her sisters with a rusty axe. CNN Sports Latenight: Highlights of Dallas vs. Pittsburgh lawn bowling championship. MM Rap City: Ice Cube discusses slavery in Mansfield Park. 4 a.m. CNN Drossfire: William F. Buckley ridicules Ice Cube's views on slavery in Mansfield Park.

Johanne - re #1: I don't know.....seems to me that Mr. Collins IS an alien life form. And Anne de Bourgh's perpetual illnesses could be a byproduct of all that alien experimentation. Boy, I hope no one's cloned Lady Catherine, a la the X-files! (Or certain sheep) ;) RE #7 - LOL!

Kathleen -- it's online at http://www.eye.net/Arts/Movies/Features/FF/1996/ff0215.htm

Maybe Fanny Price wakes up in the shower: "It was all a dream!"

No that would be Emma who wakes up in the shower. You see, Harriet really married Mr Elton, Jane Fairfax married Mr Knightley, George Knightley and Frank Churchill became a drug addicted, poor highwayman. Mr Woodhouse died from poisonous gruel and Poor Miss Taylor was arrested for giving it to him. You see he would not listen to anyone when they kept telling him that she was now Mrs Weston. The voices told her to do it. You see, when Emma comes out of the shower she is magically transported to Pember ey where she has now become Mr Darcy and she can switch her personality but she really likes Lizzy but she presumes that because Lizzy has no money and her mother is not tolerable like Mr Woodhouse. Lydia has not run of with Wickham, but is pregnant by Mr Bingley who is also having an incestuous affair with Mrs Hurst and Heather Locklear some how fits into the whole story. whew

Geez! ;-p

H.C. {#() -- thank you for posting the link. I lost last year's links when I switched from MS-Explorer to Netscape, and I couldn't figure out where to look. Laura (#11) -- LOL!

Laura this is why I hate soaps and haven't watched one in 17 years. I think Jane Austen would have like some of the early/now TV sitcoms.

Laura - and how many soaps have you watched recently???? LOL. But you left out a psychologist or two - maybe Caroline Bingley is the psychologist! Anne Eliot is the long suffering nurse at a hospital where Mr. Collins is the gossip/doctor and Lydia is the candystriper! Of course, then everybody has been or is married to someone, which will change in a year to everyone moving one step to the left and marrying or sleeping with the next partner!

Really, Donna? Would she have liked "Three's Company?" I don't think so.

Actually a sort of biography filmed, with some additions made, based on JA letters might work rather well. Some fiction thrown in. Affair with Tom Lefroy. Rumor in the Lefroy family, down the years indicates perhaps bad treatment of JA by Mr Lefroy. Difficulities with her mother's ailment. Tragedies involving some of her family friends. Move to Bath. Criticisms of her family members, her brother, after the death of his wife. That sort of thing. JA visit to the Prince Regent's palace. Might throw in a fictional meeting. That kinda thing. Could work. Maybe BBC is already planning something. Contrast of JA real lifestyle, vs that of those we see in the film versions. Trouble with money, printers, publishers, etc. Just might work.

I was thinking more like "Father Knows Best","Patty Duke Show", "Cheers", "Frazier", and "3rd Rock From the Sun"."Three's Company" never entered my mind. How about some of the dramas that are on now/then. Did anyone happen to see "The Practice" the other night? Loved it! New obession.

Oh come on guys she would have love MELROSE PLACE, like totally cool. man. Actually I haven't watched a soap opera in about 7 years. But they are all the same. Always hopping in one bed and out of the other.

Donna.....I saw the last half and thought it was very good indeed! I will tune in again next week...it's kind of ER in the courtroom. I like the main lawyer too...not too bad to look at. I hope they keep the scripts coming with the same intelligence that the premiere had!

You are right, Donna, I twisted what you said. Sorry.

This is getting disgusting, people. I don't think even Aaron Spelling likes MP anymore, to be perfectly honest.

I saw MELROSE for the first time about a month ago, and thought it was a scream! They may not be playing it as camp, but that's what it is. To add to the JA Bio Soap: that bit with one of her relations being imprisoned for shoplifting! Starring: Robert Shapiro as the Austen Defense Attorney!

Ewwwwwww!!!!! This is making me as nauseous as the disco talk over at Drool!

Cheryl, now don't dis disco:)

Too late Laura! ;-)

I have to agree with my AUntie! Disco and Darcy?! Insupportable!!

Okay guys just for you seeing that it is the weekend and I will not be chatting with you guys until Monday: Here we go: ITS FUN TO BE AT THE YMCA, WHY DON'T YA COME TO THE YMCA. IN THE NAVY ACROSS THE SEVEN SEAS IN THE NAVY Auntie have a wonderful weekend:-0_____ I'm drooling

I am sick! It was terrible when they came out the first time! And, yes, I was there. Been there. Done that. Thought we cured it

] Response 10 of 21: Amy Wolf (amy2) * Thu, Mar 6, 1997 (11:21) ] Maybe Fanny Price wakes up in the shower: "It was all a dream!" Intriguing idea -- but when does she wake up, and how much of it was a dream? Surely not her whole life since she was 10 years old?!

I actually read a very good book a while ago, where the main character is the creator and head writer of a "Regency" soap opera. It was a great read, and it made me wish that such a show existed for real. The book is "Again" by Kathleen Gilles Seidel.

How about any or all of the Austen ladies appearing on Baywatch. I know it isn't a soap but(t) hey, I'd watch it!. Of course Ann Elliot would have to be left out-- she's far to old to appear on a Baywatch beach. David Hasselhoff as Darcy? Could this be a new drool topic?

Or better yet, replace Hasselhoff with CF. This way his fans could see him wet all the time. Also, replace Pamela Anderson with JE. I'd love to see her in an Empire bodice swimsuit. She must be a good swimmer- she's already been given credit for being a good walker.

Brad - LOL. I like your idea! I've never once seen Baywatch, but your recasting might just make me start watching it - especially CF wet all the time and JE in an Empire bodice swimsuit. Great idea!!;-)

What say I to Baywatch & CF always wet -- "I want to go to Brighton! A little sea-bathing would set me up forever!"

Brad, LOL and appreciating your unique male perspective! :)

Brad...you are my kinda guy! With ideas like that....we should take up a collection and send you to Hollywood! Colin on the beach....(where's Joans m-m-m-m-m when we need it?)

Now hold it a minute...No one, except perhaps Candace, enjoys seeing Darcy WET as much as I, but...Baywatch? I'm getting the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it!

yep, Cheryl, I'm starting to think that I might not be upset if I accidentally "Forgot" this topic. Baywatch? Darcy?

I beg of you Mrs. Bennet "no soaps or Baywatch".

Come on guys, won't there be any sports today? Cheryl what harm can a little baywatching do? It is not Darcy! It is our Colin's gonna do it..rescue them damsels and have his hair all curly and wet...be reasonable! And stride through the sand and the waves ..very beneficial for the thighs too! Please!

]David Hasselhoff as Darcy? Could this be a new drool topic? Let me quote Lizzy : Never! Let me see Darcy as anotyher captain for a new Enterprise and then rescue damzels in distress... Holodeck anyone?

very beneficial for the thighs too! Please! Oh well, then count me in!

Holodeck anyone? I wish, I wish, Johanne!(I thought Cecily had something on this line.Where are you, madam?)

I could see the Collins household as a sit-com, with new, daffy suggestions by Lady Catherine to 'improve' their house very week, Charlotte trying to avoid them, and Mr. Collins so eager to implement them; think 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' for a format.

Baywatch? It's almost as bad as making Lizzie as Zenia.

Xena's cool.

I must add my support to the Warrior Princess camp - and it is high camp, indeed!

To My Dear Cassandra: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when two handsome people get together they cannot or will not leave their hands off each other. However small the sphere of the town in which they live, you can be sure that they have made violent love to everyone. I am bespeaking of a well known MELROSE PLACE. Lady Catherine De Burgh would definitely speak ill of all the families. Which to some peculiarity are more then four and Twenty. As the little is becoming quite tiresome I must beg leave. But I do not beg you not to take up with Mr Firth until we have had some further acquaintance with his family, It is not known if he comes from good people and to have our name brought about in a shameful manner would be most seriously displeasing. As our Cousing Fanny Knight has done by becomin engaged and then breaking it off. reminiscent of mine with Mr Biggs Wither whom I could never marry. He had not behaved in a most gentlemanly behavio r. And his teeth, sister. Ah well, please do try to check out that little story that I mentione above. Yours &tc Miss Austen