Cecily, shall we put in a link to the FoF site for ideas or start this fresh all on our own?

"My dear Charlotte, we shall be late to Rosings for the holiday supper!" cried Mr Collins as he tore his sleeve on the hat rack peg while reaching for his black frisbee/clergyman's hat. If I can just keep this wrist out of sight so one will see the awful gash in my sleeve he thought to himself as they hurried into the lane. To his dismay they were late: Lady Catherine glared like Medusa as they entered but merely sniffed, since her attention was more taken up with the horror of Mr/Mrs Wick am's noisy arrival, uninvited. "Lord, I'm so hungry!" shrieked Lydia, bouncing towards the banquet room and piling ham, pork, and everything good on her plate. The Bennet family had arrived some time earlier, so that Mrs Bennet could have a good look at all the silver, paintings, and rooms of prodigious size so often acclaimed by Mr Collins.

Amy- Link to FoF would be nice. Would you? Now back to my scene, where I inadvertantly hit the Submit Response button midway through...

cont'd. TITLE: P&P2 Revisited, Or Pilgrims' Progress ...Mr Bennet had found his way to the library, where he was quaffing a litre of ale and chuckling to himself over the latest TATLER featuring a very strange article indeed written by his new Pemberley son-in-law, about the hazards of overfishing one's pond by inviting too many Gardiners, Ians, and other rowdy male anglers for a spot of fishing. Mary and Kitty, meanwhile, had located the piano in Mrs Jenkins room where they were engaged in rehearsing a really rousing rendition of "Will you no come back again?", an old Scottish air, in memory of the Meryton regiment. Mrs Bennet passed them on her way down from the attic, where she had counted no less than eleven trunks filled with Lady Catherine's old ballroom finery and a few childish sketches by Anne, and she reminded the girls to go to the banquet room before Lydia demolished everything in sig t. In the hallway she encountered Lizzie and Darcy, Jane and Bingley, Bingley's sisters and Mr. Hurst, all smiling tightly at Lady Catherine's tense greeting. Charlotte rescued Lizzie and Darcy with a tactful request that they follow her into the garden to see the new Christmas tree farm her husband had planted. Mr Collins also took Jane and Bingley under his wing (he was now hiding his torn sleeve by walking about like Napoleon with his hand in his vest) and led them towards the banquet room. A sorry sig t greeted them: Lydia and Wickhanm were seated by the fire, stuffing each other with creampuffs, and their places at the table looked like a Scout troop had just left Macdonalds. As Jane and Bingley hurriedly cleared the mess, Mr Collins sermonized the guilty pair on the dangers of gluttony. The dinner gong rang for everyone to go to the banquet room. Darcy rolled his eyes in irritation as Caroline surged forward to claim one arm and his aunt the other arm. Lizzie merely smirked at the two ladies as they all swept in. (this can be a continuation story, if anyone wants to take it from this point)

OK. "A blessing, please, Mr. Collins," said Lady Catherine imperiously. Forgetting his sleeve, Mr. Collins folded his hands in full view and began. Charlotte, who always had her sewing kit in her pocket, quietly stitched as he prayed, eyes clsed. "The goose looks very well," said Mrs. Bennet heartily with her mouth full of bread. "I don't suppose he looks as well as he used to," murmured Lizzie to Jane, who giggled behind her napkin. Darcy, sighing over his wife's continued teasing habit, stared manfully ahead as Caroline played footsie with him under the table. (God, when will she ever give up? he thought) Bingley tried to affect a diversion by talking about the baby he and Jane were expecting in 6 months. It worked partly since all the Bennet women began cooing about baby clothes and nannies. Mary, however, added her two cents about quality daycare versus Fordyce's sermon #32 about biblical motherhood models. It was enough to drive Mrs. Hurst to another speedy rendition on the grand piano as Lydia egan drunkenly to announce that she'd rather be fat than pregnant anyday. As Lizzie walked with her father towards the dessert table, Caroline seized the moment to ask Darcy how his own marriage was going. "Swimmingly," he replied shortly, deliberately trodding on her foot as he stood up anmd abruptly left. A scream from the hallway sent them all running, only to find that...

{This thread is like a picnic chapter in Little Women where all the picnickers tell the next part of the ongoing story. Sharp detours are permitted in the plot and style there, and I hope here.) ...a lion escaped from a traveling circus was entering the front door and snarling at the housekeeper. The women turned pale and ran back into the banquet room; the men began shouting orders and encouragement to one another. Bingley grabbed a cane from the stand, as did Wickham, and gingerly walked toward the lion, yelling nonsense to scare it out again. Mr. Bennet, coffee cup in hand, quietly quipped, "You'll get a good scalding if you come too close" to the beast. Mr. Collins, perched on the stair b nnister, quoted Daniel in the Lions Den as a supportive measure to the other men. Of course it was Mr. Darcy who saved the day. Having taken the ham shank from the table, he strode by the lion to the door, fixed its eyes in a Crocodile Dundee staredown, then threw the ham onto the lawn with a firm "Go!" The lion naturally obeyed, knowing a superior being when he saw one. Closing the door, Darcy next swiftly got Wickham to ride the backway to get the circus owners with their net. (If he doesn't get himself killed, it will be the one noble thing he's ever done, thought Darcy.) He th n loped back to the admiring gaze of every female in the room (those thighs, thought Caroline; that's my DD- Darcy Delight- thought Lizzie). c'mon it's your turn now; don't be shy...start a new one if you like...;-)

Bingley smiled broadly at Darcy. "Excellent, excellent" he said warmly. "Do I have your blessing then?" asked Darcy. "Do you feel you need it?" asked Bingley. "Yes, my dear Charles. well, maybe I actually need a glass of wine instead." said Darcy. He collapsed into a chair. "This is most vexing, indeed." said Lady C. "You know I do not allow wild animals at Rosings, Darcy. I told you what would happen if you married so far beneath your station. Now dinner is ruined and the carpets are in shreds." "My dear aunt, surely you do not blame Elizabeth for this fiasco." "I most certainly do. Elizabeth is always out-of-doors. Lions are always out-of-doors. And she was born in August. I told you you were thinking with your loins instead of your head." "Loins" repeated Elizabeth and Darcy together with their eyes locked. They left the room together. Lady Catherine fainted. Mr. Bennett ROTFLOL'd.

applause sounds from audience and thanks from the originator to brave participants above! Let's try something new. Fill in as much/little as you want then quit and next person can pick it up. (copy & paste or ...) NEW SCENE #2 TITLE=?... SETTING=?... SITUATION=?... 1st CHARACTER=?...and dialogue line(s)... OTHER CHARACTER(S)... and line(s)... as many as you want

NEW SCENE #2 TITLE=? P&P2 Addicts In Darcyland SETTING=? Netherfield Ball, initially SITUATION=? Addicts mingling gleefully with original inhabitants 1st CHARACTER=?Jake (walking up to greeting line)"I say, Miss Bingley, how good of your brother to invite our tour group to this ball. Delighted to meet you." Caroline: (eyes lighting up) "Oh, how I long to see new men, sorry, friends, of my brother. And you are disposed to dance, I trust?" "Even savages from America can dance, so may I have the honor at the quadrille?" (bowing hastily as I spot Lizzie across the room; I have to reach her before Darcy does; thank God I have my Wickham costume on) (bumping into Mrs. Bennet) Mrs. Bennet: Good evening, sir, may I introduce you to my daughter Mary? Mary, step lively, girl. She is a good sort of girl, but never one to push herself forward in a public situation." "I think that is most commendable, particularly in regard to piano playing and singing at strange houses." (trying to stop her later exhibition) "And how much do you have a year? That is to say, how do you like to spend your money, uh, time?" (seeing Lizzie heading for Charlotte so time is short)"Pray excuse me, madam, there is a pressing matter I must attend to." (observing Katy, Cheryl, Amy, Kim, Candace, Leslie, and other addicts all heading for Darcy, I slow my gait and stroll to Lizzie and Charlotte) OTHER ADDICTS/CHARACTER(S)=?...

Scene: the anti-room at Pemberly. characters: Mrs. Reynolds, Katy, several other ladies from the party who prefer not to be named. Katy: Mrs. Reynolds, we are need of your assistance. Reynolds: How may I be of help, ma'am. Unidentified lady #1: We are thinking that since you and our host and hostess and their friends have not aged in nearly 200 years, that it might be reasonable of us to expect to have a few decades taken off our appearance. Katy: Mr. and Mrs. Darcy are still in their twenties. Cannot we have the same advantage? Reynolds: Ah, ladies. Your tour guide did not explain this to you? That has already been taken care of. If you will look in the mirror, you will see for yourselves. Unidentified lady #3: Ah, my kind of tour! Unidentified lady #2: And clothing? None of my own clothes will fit now. Katy: Yes, what a pity. I was so looking forward to meeting Mr. Darcy in my size 20 jeans. Reynolds: Step this way, ladies. I have a large assortment of gowns for you to chose from. The ladies chatter happily: "Oh have you ever? ..." "I want the blue" "So much cleavage..." "I have a waist again..." Reynolds allows the ladies to enjoy the sensation of feeling young and pretty while getting ready for a ball for a few minutes. Reynolds: Ladies, if you will step this way. The ladies enter the ballroom. Darcy is seen near a fountain chatting with Candace and Cheryl. All the ladies move towards fountain wondering if good manners requires them to prevent Candace from accidentily bumping into Darcy and causing him to fall into the fountain. Katy, however, seems to be moving in a different direction. Katy: I bet Mr. Wickham knows how to show a rich American girl a good time. I must concentrate on looking rich. (exit stage left)

I must applaud you all while I have the chance during this short intermission. No, STANDING OVATION!!!!

Scene: Darcy, Candace and Cheryl at the fountain Cheryl: So Mr. Darcy, I do not recall there being an indoor fountain at Pemberley? Darcy: Yes, it is a recent addition. I much prefer the pond when I feel the need to be wet, but this is winter after all...snow...ice...it can be difficult, you see. Candace: (shakily) Oh yes, I do see! Cheryl: And how often do you partake of a quick dip in the fountain? Candace: (eagerly) Yes, how often?! Darcy: Most every evening, but I shall abstain this evening, due the ball and also since I gave my valet the rest of the evening off and so would have no one to help me change. Candace immediately and "accidently" trips, falling onto Mr. Darcy, causing him to lose his balance, tumbling backwards into the fountain. Candace: Oh Mr. Darcy! I am so sorry, I do not know how that happened... Her voice trails off as Mr. Darcy slowly rises, dripping from the fountain. Kali and Rebecca have acted quickly, closing the doors to the fountain room, in in the hope of being rewarded with a bit of wet clothing. Cheryl: Mr. Darcy, pray, let us be of assistance to you, which is the way to your rooms? Candace: (whispered under her breath) Oh my... Darcy: This is highly irregular, ladies! Cheryl: But sir, the fault was ours and so must the remedy be. Darcy: That is a very convincing argument. Well, if you insist... Candace: (quivering) Oh, yes, we do insist. Cheryl: Indeed! Th eparty exits up the stairs...

I am impatiently waiting for the next installemnt on this page. Meantime I have been surfing around at the Friends of Firth site and looking at the creative writing collection I will tempt you with this excerpt from a contribution titled THE KISS: THE SCENE: It is the the last day of Filming Pride & Prejudice. Simon Langton the Director has been having problems getting the lighting exactly right in "The Kiss Scene" and calls Colin back to the set for a series of retakes. Jennifer Ehle isn't needed for the scene (it's my fantasy and I say she's not needed) so I, her body double will take her place. You will probably also LOL over Pride and Prejudice - The Uncut Tape Number Seven I am having trouble getting Yapp software to accept this note - it does not like my html code at all.

Cheryl, are Rebecca and I included in the "upstairs" party? ;) - K

I've finally caught up - but I didn't have the scenario completely wrong Cheryl! After all, mouth-to-mouth and loosening clothes indicates an emergency - I still say you should have gone for the dry clothes. The scenarios above are much more entertaining than the FoF ones - I enjoyed them.

The authors of the assorted scripts so far thank you for your kind regard, and doubtless are at work on others, which may appear anytime (now that spring.com is "flowing again" --thank you and birthday greetings, Terry, from another Decemberite!) We happily welcome any other "freelance" playwrights at any time here :-)

I do intend another scene (scenette?) at some stage (virtual), but my work invites me elsewhere for the nonce. "Most urgent business," as Darcy would say. (The thought of Elizabeth waiting for me in the wings is very inspiring, though, I must admit.)

As Katy approached Mr. and Mrs. Wickham, Lydia's eyes sparkeld with excitment. "Another rich American woman looking for George." she thought. "Maybe this one will get us out of here into another country where Wickham can make his fortune." The Wickhams were were seldom part of the grand entertainment in the big house, but every month or two an adventerous guest found them out. Lydia tried to appraise the young woman in front of her. "Wonder how rich she is? I have seen the dress before so she obviously did not bring a gown for the occassion. But Americans seem to travel light," she sniffed. No borrowed gowns for her, unless they were Lizzy's. George was busy adjusting his thoughts, trying to decide how much the American was good for and what she wanted from him. "It is a pleasure to meet you," he said slickly. "Not many guests come back to the lower guest lodge below the upper guest lodge below the below the guest castle. How did you find us?" "Oh, they told me just to go a low as I could go, and I would find you both. And here you are." "And to what do we own the honor of this visit?" "The crowd in the big house is so boring and silly. Someone pushed Mr. Darcy into that ridiculous fountain. A group of ladies is in the sitting room arguing about Mrs. Collins and why she married the preacher. Lady Catherine is sleeping on her throne. Mrs. Darcy is reading a book hoping we all go away. She gets more like her father with every visit!" Katy was a little nervous and chatted on and on. "I was really hoping for a little fun. You know, wine out of bottles instead of tiny tiny glasses. And real food instead of those trays of crackers. And real music. Do you have a radio or cd player out here. Could we listen to some rock and roll and get drunk and tell lies together!" she added breathlessly. "My kind of girl," thought Wickham as he put his arm around her narrow waist. "Is that your real waist or did it come with the tour?" he asked. "Does it matter?", Katy asked. "It's mine for the moment." "Of course not," declared Wickham who no longer excepted passage to America for his trouble, and therefore did not really care what this girl would look like when the tour was over. A small loan would suffice - and a little admiration. "Let's dance! Lydia, put on some music for us." "Wickham is a great dancer. He does everything well, if you know what I mean," Lydia said as she rummaged around looking for the cd player and an electric socket. "He is mine, but you can borrow him for a few hours if you like." Wickham handed Katy an open bottle of Thunderbird and they began to dance. Suddenly the door burst open and ..........

.... and Amy marched into the room. "Mom!" exclaimed Katy. "How did you find me?" "That pretty girl is your mother?" asked Wickham, a little confused but sure the mother would have more pin money than the daughter. "Katy, you must rejoin the tour group at once. Mrs. Reynolds told me they would ask us all to leave if you did not. Apparently American girls have gotten the Wickhams all stirred up before. Mrs. Wickham punched one woman's lights out, and she has been known to pull out hair by the handful." "Lydia seems quite cordial to me," replied Katy. "She is not drunk yet, Katy. And it seems that when Mr. Wickham realizes that his rich American girls are really middle-aged woman traveling on maxed out Visa cards, he flies into a rage that lasts longer than the hangover you are going to have if you actually drink that cheap wine. They have been through this so many times they should know better, but some people never learn from experience!" Amy continued to glare at Katy until the wine bottle had given up, the shoes put back on, and the sulky Katy (for apparently emotional maturity had been erased with the physical maturity in Mrs. Reynold's dressing room) seemed ready to to comply. The Wickhams looked disappointed. No matter how it turned out in the end, a party was better than no attention from anyone. "Amy, how come you are still acting wise and mature?" asked Katy as they headed back up the long flight of steps to the main house. "I feel as silly as a school girl." "I was wise and mature when I was a school girl," replied Amy. "Besides I need you help with Candace and Cheryl and Mr. Darcy. Your bit a foolishness has been tried before, but the whole house is stunned by this unique situation. No one is even sure where the indoor fountain came from. And the upstairs maids, when they saw Mr. Darcy soaking wet, all fainted dead away."

As they entered the drawing room, they were amazed at the sight before them. Mr. Darcy was pacing. He moved from the door to the fireplace, from the fireplace to a chair. Sat down, got up. He finally turned quite suddening and with piercing eyes shouted at Elizabeth "How could you have invited them all here? Must the shades of Pemberly be thus poluted with such visitors? They are all such a class beneath us! The married women come without their husbands, the single women will never marry well, and he men they bring with them! Such men who find themselves comfortable with such obstinate headstrong girls! They must all leave at once -- and never return!" Elizabeth rose to her feet quite slowly and meeting his gaze calmly, but with passion exclaimed "In such cases as this, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation to one's husband, but I cannot. Your manners are impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, again." Her voice then softened, "Do you not see, my honey-butt, Since their BB died, their chats have been entailed away. They have nowhere to go. It could have been me." Darcy's eyes were stunned quite like that of a deer caught in someone's headlights. He bowed his head, drew his hand near his mouth and quietly said "You are absolutely right. What have they said that I did not deserve? They have seen me at my best and my worst, dry and wet, left and right, and still they love me. They have analyzed every scene, and still watch ignoring the imperfections and inconsistancies. They discuss the symbolism, the morality, and even the dagginess. They are the true believer of our love. Nothing shall be done that I do not do myself. I will always make the drawing room available to them so that they may chat long into the wee hours of the night. They may go down to the spring near my lake at any time. There they can write essays and dig deeper into our souls. I will have my carpenters consult with Amy, so that they may finally have a home of their own." Mr. Darcy turning 'round exclaimed "Everyone is to stay the night, you may sleep where you like." Everyone found their favorite spot among which Cheryl curled up under the pianoforte, Kali went to the library to lay amonst the law books, and of course Candace retired to the bath tub.

Brava, Candace! Very, very nicely done! I am proud to know you!

I enjoyed.

Candace - I loved it.

Miss Candace: It shows great presence of mind. Congratulations.

I went ROTFLOL over the entire thread! Marvelous!

Very nicely done Candace!

Candace, it was wunderbar! BUT my question is, did you type it extemporare hot on the keyboard? Or was it the product of reflection and offline writing first? Either way, marvelous, (though I foresee my new topic thread due to it: "This little matter of our addiction"...what does it say about each of us?)

"'This little matter of our addiction' ..what does it say about each of us?" It says that we are a very merry party indeed!

Scene: O Tidings of Comfort and Joy It had been one of those days when Darcy wished he'd been born Wickham: his aunt Catherine had sent him a letter of such length and threats about Miss Elizabeth as to stir his indignation and desire. He moodily rose from his favorite green armchair and went to the fireplace to stir the embers and his own feelings into a blaze. If only Elizabeth didn't look so well in her muslin, I might never have noticed her bewitching eyes above, he thought. If my aunt won't approve of a marriage with her, I wish I were George enough to simply steal her away and enjoy her fiery spirit in an elegant little hideaway. The thought shocked him: he, sink as low as devil-may-care Wickham? Never! Still, the scoundrel had a certain slick charm that captivated the ladies, whereas he...well, except for Caroline they seemed to think ill of him. He dragged himself upstairs to his room, disrobed, and stared at the mirror. No sense of adventure or humor, he mulled, and then it hit him--- a risky but game way to prove himself to his love. It was Christmas Eve; he would prepare and then ride to Longbourne, asking to see Lizzie by way of the kitchen help; a little tip to the staff there would suffice. He smiled grimly (as only a man desperately in love can), then set to work. At dusk he rode, humming the Netherfield dance tunes to buck up his courage. At eight he arrived at the back of the Bennet house, quietly dismounted and strode up to the door, knocking. An obliging cook smilingly vowed to get the young lady, and Darcy waited, assuring himself with sheer bluster that Lizzie would like the new Darcy as much as that old Wickham. A moment later, an astonished Lizzie appeared in the doorway. "I had not thought...that is to say," she bit her lip in confusion and secret deli ht at his visit. "I come to bring you tidings of comfort and joy, and a look at the new me," he began. "This is on the recommendation of Misses Cheryl, Cecily, and other brave new world women, as to the perfect gift." Without much ado but much anxiety, he opened his coat. Just then the entire Bennet family came up behind the dumfounded Lizzie. "Oh, a red and a green one!" babbled Mrs. Bennet. "I do love a well-wrapped present." Lizzie, however, merely slammed the door behind her in their faces as she ran to catch up to her now primally screaming lover as he raced to his horse. "I've always wanted to pull a Lydia [stunt]," she murmured in his grateful ear. "Let's wave in the window at Rosings before heading up to Gretna Green." As they drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" Darcy shouted at Jane waving to them from her room.

Dear France, I am shocked! and many will tell you that I do not shock easily. But now that the initial flurry of excitment has worn off, and I have reread your offering, using my well-honed imagination and ability to visual the written word, I am finding your vignette more delightful with each passing moment...

France: yes, a matched pair of red and green watch fobs would dumfound a conservative dresser like Eliza Bennet. Did he attempt the mistletoe as well? "Oh, how I long to see him!" to paraphrase Miss Bingley. Perhaps if I put out a plate of Dundee cake and a glass of port and hid behind my kitchen door wearing my new JA muslin on Dec. 24th, he might...? Let me re-read what happens next. (sound of mouse clicking feverishly back up)

epilogue... A piercing beam of sunlight awakened a most groggy Darcy. He shielded his eyes from the glare, then embraced the tousled bedclothes next to him. "My loveliest Elizabeth," he murmured, sleepily. A sudden realization all he hugged was his kingsized pillow forced him awake. "I hope Bingley never dreams like that," he muttered to himself as he washed his face in the silver basin. "It's enough to drive a man mad." On second thought, Darcy decided that a bouquet and strictly courteous holiday note would n t be disliked by Miss Bennet on this Christmas Day; he would do so and send them by special messenger posthaste. Comforted with this gentlemanly resolve, he went down to breakfast.

Are we now confusing Fitzwilliam Show-Nothing Darcy with Colin Show-It-All Firth?

"Are we now confusing...?" Never unintentionally! Think of these as stream-of-consciousness scenes where anything gets connected with everyman; or to paraphrase Pirandello, Six Colin Firth Characters In Search of a Darcy. Poetic license is granted here.

Elaine: Remember this? Topic 65 of 86 [austen]: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me Response 18 of 22: Cheryl Sneed (Cheryl) * Fri, Dec 6, 1996 (22:39) * 4 lines "Right and left bows were intended, no doubt, for right and left thigh. But where, prey tell, the mistletoe?" Elaine, I shall leave that to your very active imagination! :-) So, I merely recycled "beribboned visitor" images from topic 65 in my vignette for the amusement of those addicts, not to malign Darcy, moral rectitude, etcetera. %-}

Oops! I lost my bows...and evidently my first response. I did not mean to imply that Darcy had been maligned. It simply struck me as odd for one so stuffy to show up beribboned. Of course, it makes much more sense to know that mistletoe was involved. But let's talk basics.

Having nearly killed myself laughing at this topic in the wee small hours, I went to bed, and the following came to me in a dream, in toto. It's a bit big for the topic parameters, but I hope you will indulge me. ABSOLUTELY FARCICAL- the beginnings of a silly story. Imagine, gentle reader ,that it is the eve of a costumed ball, at Netherfield,and that all of Austenshire has been invited.In one of the guest bedrooms is Mr Darcy, who, having resisted all his wife's entreaties to dress up as Edward, the Black Prince, is looking almost normal.Lizzie bounds in,and hands him a quizzing-glass. Pinning a tiny scarlet flower to his lapel, she admonishes him gently:- "Don't forget to laugh and strut around in an imbecilic manner." He decides that she looks ravishing with Marguerites in her hair. "I would not suspend any pleasure of yours,my lovliest!" he whispers in her ear. In another guest room, Lydia is stuffing Mary into the rejected suit of armour. "Just pretend that you are Joan of Arc, or Queen Boadicea!" she hisses. She is feeling a little chilly in her damped down classic Greek robes and her circlet of laurel leaves has come askew again.Wickham, who looked rather alarming dressed as Dick Turpin, has disappeared. Jane and Bingley are overseeing the final touches to the refreshments. Jane , graceful and serene as a Roman Lady, is quietly delighted at the way her husband's skirt of armour and thonged sandals show off his very presentable calves and elegant toes. Mr Hurst as Falstaff, is already stuffing his face. At the Parsonage, Mr Collins is stuffing his gashed sleeve into his coat, and trying to look Napoleonic. Charlotte, in a tiara, is blackening her teeth, and practicing her french accent. At another Parsonage, Henry Crawford has blowdried his hair into the windsept style, and is pinning his sleeve across his chest. He is hoping that his lack of inches will authenticate his impression of Napoleon, and wondering what his angelic Fanny will be wearing. At the big house, Fanny Price, is looking angelic(she finds the wings a bit cumbersome,however.) She is admiring her brother William's Corsair suit. Julia Bertram is stuffing oranges down her Nell Gwynne bodice,and Tom Bertram is getting drunk. Henry Tilney, in yet another Parsonage , having vacillated for a week between Mercutio and Puck, has finally settled for Lord Nelson, and is pinning his sleeve across his chest. His wife, Catherine, her gaze locked on page 204 of "Costumes and Folklore of Transylvania", adjusts the corsage of herbiage that fronts her. "Shall I powder Papa's old wig for you?" She enquires, waving the puff. "That's not the wig, that's my new Terrier Puppy!" he exclaims. Mr and Mrs Edward Ferrars, in the fourth Parsonage, are feeling rather silly as Robin Hood and Maid Marian. Colone Brandon, all in black as the Sherrif of Nottingham, adjusts his wife's wimple and wishes he could cancel Christmas. (That is a terrible joke, sorry!) Margaret Dashwood, waving a pirate hat, bewails the fact that she is not yet "out", so cannot go. She thinks Edward looks heroic. I have absolutely no notion what is happening at Donwell or Hartfield. Perhaps someone with more narrative skill than myself will deign to enlighten me.And I believe that there is a boatload of Wentworths, Benwicks and Harvilles that we have to get to the Ball somehow, too.

I've shown this to some people in the chat room. Here it is for everyone else: http://www.spring.com/~anneh/part1_aa.html

Dear Caroline E. and Ann, after a hiatus of no new scenes, I really enjoyed both your above ones today. Encore!

I love these latest scenes. Ann's is elegant; caroline's is hilarious! Please, may we have some more? Where ever the Bingley sisters are and whatever costumes they are doning, I am sure there are feathers!

Yes, Very good. Do you have more?

Give me time, give me a plotline........

(I am only 9 years old, so my mother is helping me here with spelling, etc.) ...continuing above ball scene... In their room at Netherfield, Caroline Bingley is dressing up like a giant mallard duck and saying "Why did you pick this out for me, sister? These feathers are sooo itchy although the duckbill part fits amazingly." Louisa Hurst gently swirled in her gorgeous peacock costume, but her fanned tail kept swishing out of control and knocking over tiny glass ornaments and perfume bottles. They opened the door to the room to go downstairs but bumped into Kitty, who WAS a tabby kitten in disguise that hissed a them, with a little laugh afterwards. Downstairs, Mr. Bennet (who was the "I-hate-company" Badger fromWind in the Willows) and Mrs. Bennet (who was an "always-squawking&complaining" chicken in a very ruffled feathered costume) were sampling the appetizers...

Oh, yes! I thank you, madam, for your kind contribution!I( I love Badger....)

Very creative, AnneMarie. I foresee an artistic future for you. Enjoy!

ABSOLUTELY FARCICAL part 3 Mr Elliott, masquerading as the Prince of Wales, is assssing the net worth of all the ladies in the room. He focuses on a tall young womwan, dressed a la Hussar, surrounded by a group of Military Officers. She looks rather like Miss Bingley, only much better natured.Wishing for an introduction, he turns to Madam Author. "That's Sophy Rivenhall, " she tells him. "Really! I always thought she was fictitous!"is his reply. "Er, yes, well...... Perhaps I had better send her back to the Library. Sophy is quite capable of organising her own Ball in there." The Hussar and Officers fade from sight. Mr Elliott surveys the room again."Too many Gentlemen and not enough ladies," he remarks."And how are you going to fit all this lot into one plot?" Madam Author feels a tug at her sleeve.She turns to face Mr Crawford." you must give me the leading role in this, " he says.Madam's other sleeve is tugged, and she turns the other way, to face.... the other Napoleon. "What pray ,is this all about, again?" "Hearts, Mr Collins, Hearts!" she snaps. A wave of panic is threatening to engulf her. Ducks and Peacocks, Two Napoleons, and the ship not yet in the harbour..... How was she to manage all this? A Rich Brown Voice, from behind, asks, "What is the matter? Are you unwell?". She turns, again, to face a pair of Rich, Brown Eyes. "You look ill. Is there nothing I can get you for your presesnt relief? A glass of wine- can I get you one?" "Thank you, yes...." He leads her into a quiet corner. "I think I can slip out quietly and see what has happened to the ship," he says, as he hands her a ratafia-and water. "Shall you take Marguerite with you? "I would not have it otherwise." The Brown eyes are beginning to twinkle. As he walks away, a phantom appears, in a plain round gown and mob cap. "Jane!!!" shrieks Mme. Author, "Thank Goodness you have arrived!" "You have been rather sloppy in your writing!" scolds Ms Austen's ghost."Poor Ms Heyer is in the Library, still trying to calm down her little Sophy. And now that scandalous Quick woman is demanding an entrance!" "Oh, what am I to do?" Mme.Author wails. "Look, just get them up and dancing.They'll all feel much better for the excercise, and then we shall consult as to what is to be done!" The band strikes up "The Barley Mow". The Prince walks out on the floor with Nell Gwyn. Mrs Collins is partnered by the other Napoleon. The Greek Nymph stands up with the Roman Soldier.The kitten takes the hand of The Corsair.The Peacock grabs the Badger and drags him to the centre. Sir Percy and Lady Bakeney slip quietly out of the back door. Everyone begins to smile, even Mary Musgoave, dressed as the Queen of Sheba......... Ona lonely turnpke road, Dick Turpin listens for the sound of an approaching carriage. "Halt!" he cries. "Stand and Deliver!" "Is that a Password?" asks Mrs Tilney, untangling her arms from her husbands neck. "I was afraid that you'd miss the turning," explains Turpin." If we are not all there by midnight, scenes might arise that would be uncomfortable to more than myself." "Good thinking, Batman," asserts Lord Nelson. They wheel, and gallop down the turning. At the harbour, The Duke of Wellington, bearing a remarkable resemblance to Captain Wentworth, is assisting Ruth and Naomi, aka Anne and Louisa, to disembark.Captain Benwick, resplendent as a Turkish Sultan, is tying off the anchor to the "Honeymooner Belle" and The Scarlet Pimpernell is manfully handling half a dozen horses. "Only one hour till midnight, but do not make yourselves uneasy. We shall conquer this, together.!"he says, firmly. Lady Blakeney, her eyes brightened by the exercise, gives him a quick kiss on the nose. They set off at a spanking pace, rounding the gates of Netherfield just as Turpin and Nelson arrive, startling a band of cutthroat weasels lurking by the water-gate. Rushing up the steps, they waltz into the Ballroom as the countdown begins...... 10......9.....8.......7......................................2.....1........! "Happy New Year, Everyone!" shouts the Centurion. The Band strikes up "Auld Lang Syne"....... Ms Austen leaves off from waving smelling -salts under the nose of Madam Author. She winks at Mr Darcy. "I knew I could rely on you to save a Lady's Reputation!" she says. "I'll put those weasels back in the Library," he smirks.

Apologies..... The weasels in the spring have NOTHING to do with the lurkers here. They are purely Badger's problem. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

Caroline - it is lovely, as always. Please continue. May I come to your party? I have a lovely zebra costume.

Superbly writ, Caroline!!

My dear Miss Katy!You are always welcome at ANY social occasion that I could organise!But I fear it is a little late,and Madam Author's nerves are shattered. Perhaps, if you could persuade Mrs Knightly to take over from here, things could get moving again. But ON NO ACCOUNT must you let her into the Library! If Emma and Sophy were ever to meet, Romantic entanglements would be beyond the capabilities of ANY author!

Apologies..... The weasels in the spring have NOTHING to do with the lurkers here. They are purely Badger's problem. Hope I didn't offend anyone. On the contrary, Caroline. I was convinced that they were somehow related to my nemesis, Weasel Woman.

ABSOLUTELY FARCICAL was absolutely ripping, C.!

In the works, a new script that connects P&P in a timewarp to original Star Trek voyage era & crew (available in digitally remastered virtual headgear with karaoke script plugins, lifesized dolls, and soma medication to ward off the afterburn of Earth re-entry at scene's end)... "Coming to a topic near you soon!" "Starts playing this week" etc.

What fun Caroline! I await your next contribution with great anticipation! (can we manage to get Darcy wet in the next scenario? For Candace! ;-))

I, too, would like to include here a very romanticized new scene of P&P2 soon.

Loved your masquerade ball, Caroline. And am looking forward to all the other entries promised above! Wish I could write as well as all of you, but if the muse ever hits, I'll promise to enter it here.

Hmm.... Men are fom Mars, women are from Venus,right? Rwoxana Troi could stand-in for Mrs Bennet..... WE'll have Darcy on Waterworld- I thought Mr Costner was a bit wet in that role....... Cecily, I can't wait! Wendy, yes! Please, some real romance!

ROMANCE UNDER THE ELMS Part One Lizzie reached uncertainly for the letter Mr. Darcy thrust into her hand. His passionate eyes belied the cool civility of his voice as he asked her to do him the honor of reading his missive. She walked a few paces, then seated herself and opened the letter. Its contents startled her usually assured perspective; she found herself uttering expressions of dismay and denial. Unbeknownst to her, Darcy hovered nearby in a small grove, watching anxiously her reactions. The strain of yesterday's interview, coupled with his night of letterwriting, had taken its toll. Propriety bade him cease looking at her and go to the parsonage to bid farewell, as planned, but he could not tear himself away yet. The woman he loved, whose image tormented his mind and whose repartee wounded his pride, needed to be made to understand how completely taken he was with her. Indeed, his thoughts ere on little else these days, he realized with embarrassment. What had happened to the hauteur with which he formerly met the world, to fend off the Miss Bingleys and Wickhams, to show his ability as master, albeit a young one, of Pemberley? I wonder to which Shakespearean end my love story is heading, LOVE'S LABOR LOST ? A MIDSUMMER NIGHT's DREAM? he ruminated, still peering out at Lizzie who now jumped up and trounced off, reading and muttering "Insufferable man!" Mr. Darcy decided, upon heari g that remark, that it was high time to pay his visit to the Collinses... Part Two At Hunsford, he found his cousin already present, lamenting that Miss Bennet was still not back despite his stay of half an hour. Mr. Darcy, while issuing his own terse farewell, noted Col. Fitzwilliam's concerned gaze upon him. I was terribly obvious to him, if not Aunt, yesterday; at some point soon I must tell him what happened. Perhaps he can recommend some ways in which I can conquer this! Mr. Darcy considered, as he smiled wanly back, then took his leave. At Rosings he momentarily was to tempted to accept Lady Catherine's insistent invitation to stay longer. But he knew it would too frightfully difficult to see her again under that roof, playing the piano or trying to speak as if nothing had happened between them. As he packed, and for once curtly silenced and dismissed his aunt on the subject of proper arrangement of clothing in trunks by saying sharply "What?", however, the old longing returned. He closed the door to his room; wrenching off hi coat and cravat, he splashed water on his flushed cheeks, his openthroated shirt. Groaning in misery, he went to the window, hoping to see her, knowing full well he would not, the image of a lovelorn man. This will not do he reminded himself sternly. Go to London, seek relief in friends and fencing, put her out of your mind until time and chance again place her before you. With this resolve, he ignored his restless soul and straining breeches and prepared to leave an hour thence...

Ooh..........More , please!

Capital, Wendy, capital!

Part Three, etc., in a day or two when I return.

Sorry, guys, but we have a place near a flooding area we're going up to check today. But the scene will continue, I promise :-)

Wendy! You great tease! You are gong to abandon us with Darcy wet, trying to ignore his "restless soul and straining breeches"?...Wait a minute...on the other hand (right or left, I'm not sure)...perhaps this is the perfect place to leave us...it is a delightful posture to contemplate for a couple of days...yes,indeed...

Oh, Wendy, you are indeed baad! Cheryl, I just knew where your mind would focus (left and right, I should say) after Wendy's last sentence.

Kathleen: "Cheryl, I just knew where your mind would focus (left and right, I should say) after Wendy's last sentence." Oh Kathleen, am I that transparent? ;-)

Caroline and Wendy, absolutly love it. What else but : More, more, more and encore.

Part Three In London the diversions he sought helped slightly: the colonel on the ride there had listened with a sympathetic ear and had assured him of his support- "Darcy, you canot go on like this. Do not punish yourself incessantly over a wrongly worded proposal. You wrote her the letter; now give it time to sink in. From what I saw, Miss Eliza is a warmhearted young lady who cannot fail to see that your phrasing was due to your hopeless feelings for her; in time, she may respond more favorably. I think it likely, and how could she not? If she were to ever see you at Pemberley, as I have, she would be delighted by your ease of manner and generous propensities with all your acquaintance and staff. Rosings was the last place to put a man in good temper before his proposal, Aunt is so vexing! Come, we'll talk no more about it, but a good round of visits with Charles and fencing workouts should indeed put you right again." Mr. Darcy nodded, from habit and gratitiude, in agreement, then turned to stare out the carriage window at the passing scenes (and Lizzie's remembered face and touch at the Netherfield ball). The Bingleys were of course happy to see him again: Charles, despite his sunny demeanor, had the wit to surmise his friend's moroseness and determinedly tried to divert him; Darcy never ceased to admire the goodness of his friend and to regret his part in separating him from Jane. Caroline was another matter: urged on by Louisa, she put herself in the path of the man she pursued at every possible moment; it took all of his courtesy to speak civilly and when he could not, he remained silent or excused h mself from the room. After days spent in this manner, he decided it was high time to return to Pemberley. He spoke with Georgiana on the matter, invited the Bingleys, and went for one last fencing lesson. It was not that he required teaching in the art, for he had learned it much earlier, but the fine old instructor put him on his guard better and made him focus on the match instead of Miss Bennet. This day, though, he felt particularly oppressed by his unrequited yearning for her. His opponent showed some surprise at the nearly violent thrusts of the foil by his usually gentler pupil, even though he complimented Mr. Darcy's skill. As he wiped his sweating brow and walked down the steps to put away his gear, Darcy commented grittily I shall conquer this, I shall! While this reforming fit was upon him, he immediately left London to prepare his estate for visitors. Little did he know which visitors there would be... Part Four "How Fate loves a jest!" mumbled Lizzie to herself as the Gardiners and she rolled on their unexpected ride towards Pemberley. But she noted how serene Derbyshire and the company of her aunt and uncle were, and found herself wishing she might always stay in such a place with such good people. Unwillingly, she privately admitted to herself the accuracy of Mr. Darcy's remarks about her own chaotic family, unhandsomely worded though they had been by her suitor. And such a suitor! It was difficult with er uncle seated directly across from her, but managing to keep her face vaguely pleasant, her mind raced back again to Hunsford. How angry she had been at his interference with Jane and his stated objections to her family! But oh, how her heart had lurched when she saw his frenzied pacing, sitting, staring as though his eyes were about to will her into submission, and then coming to stand only a few feet away to speak. She had felt amazed, then cornered, by the boldness of his approach. She had bristl d with the urge to bolt from such passionate intensity before he had said much, then with the urge to strike him when he berated her connections. The scene's memory again upset her, only to be replaced by the subsequent memory of his letter. How odd that after some days and talking with Jane she would now actually long to see him again! Lizzie realized with humiliation that those many times at Netherfield, Rosings, and Hunsford when she had caught Mr. Darcy gazing at her, she had of course also been lo king at him! Like a moth to a candle, his fire pulls me she thought ironically, but now it's too late. At Pemberley, they were most kindly treated by the housekeeper and given many an insight on the family. Lizzie and her aunt admitted that the new impressions of Wickham, the young master, and the estate were undergoing a great deal of thought...

Part Five On the approach to Pemberley, Darcy paused, then veered towards a pond. His mind was fairly clear from the bracing ride; all that was wanting was a dip, like in boyhood, to show his newly resolved mastery over his body and life. He found the old spot, dismounted, flung off coat and hat, sat a moment, then began removing his cravat and vest. Strange thoughts of Miss Eliza staring up at him earnestly crossed his mind, but he dismissed them with a shake. No more haunting by you, Elizabeth! He stoo up, resolutely measured the distance and coldness of the swim, and dove in. He felt himself strongly push past waving fronds underwater, water coursing along his fevered body. Moments later, he was heading with his groomsman to the house. The man taking his horse down the stable path, Darcy himself strode on another way. Paradisical meadow flowers all about him, a refreshed mood and damp shirt clinging to him, he paced buoyantly downhill. Rounding some trees, he was dumbfounded by the inexplicable sight of Miss Eliza herself, walking in his direction. His jaw dropped, his eyes gaped at the vision before him. My god, Elizabeth, it's really you at last! How long I have w ited to see you, and how desperate my nights have been! He merely said, "Miss Bennet!" as his heart thudded back into rhythm. He noticed, with what little presence of mind he was able to muster, that her gaze was fixed upon him equally with startlement and not a little interest. The two began to babble with the usual amenities, though he was horrified at the conflict going on between his spoken words and hidden wishes, and so began to repeat himself before making his excuses and abruptly leaving. Darcy knew his visitor well enough to believe that she was about to flee his vicinity. Little bird, you shall not fly away so soon! he said to her image as he ran to his room, flung on fresh garments, and sped down the front steps, pulling on his coat like a hurricane. Not a moment too soon! There she goes, into the carriage- talk to her, man! But oh, take care not to frighten her with your desire! The new Darcy succeeded where the former had not. Lizzie, (whose shock at seeing him loom like a greek god after his swim had been matched by her dismay at the warmth stirring inside her body as her look had plunged down his manly form), had indeed attempted to escape her fate by heading for the vehicle with the Gardiners, but Darcy overtook her. Once she became used to his new softened behavior, she responded with a gentleness in kind. The Gardiners, seeing their niece in love and Mr. Darcy as well, efrained from comment and quietly awaited the courtship's next phase with great delicacy. When some time later they took their leave, Lizzie felt the lingering pressure of his fingers on her hand as he helped her into the seat. Their eyes locked as she turned and sought him out, she half-curiously smiling and he determinedly standing firm, host and loverlike, at the edge of his private road, gazing back...

Wendy, is your property okay?

This scene is becoming another DARCY'S STORY in length, I'm afraid. Probably I should skip to just a bit or two more, then quit. (Luckily, our place was not flooded, though we saw many roadslides and high water areas along the way.)

Wendy, please no, don't rein yourself in.

Well, Mother Amy, and this coming from you?! I'm trying very hard to keep this PG-13 (17?). If this next bit horrifies you, let me know. My internal censor is is unpredictable at best.

Part Six That night he had the most intoxicating dream. He was in his music room downstairs on a moonlit night, staring at the pianoforte, when he heard someone enter the room behind his sofa. A pair of soft hands covered his eyes, then lips brushed his forehead as he heard Lizzie whisper "Mr. Darcy" in silvery tones. "Miss Bennet!" he began, then stopped as the hands lifted and she came 'round to sit next to him. ""What is it ?" she asked teasingly, as he sat frozen in disbelief. "Nnnothing," he stammered, b ginning to thaw as he felt her softness near him. Her fingers traced his face from temple to dimple in the eerie light, then fluttered to his shoulders as pent-up ardor swept him and he pulled her to him in an embrace. "My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!" he murmured before his mouth found hers. The passion that flamed up in him made him lose his senses. His head swirled as her closeness enveloped him. The ecstasy was overwhelming him--- Darcy woke with a start as he fell off the bed, knocking over the nightstand and wakening his dogs on the rug nearby. A quick glance out the window showed moonlight still. I must see her in the morning at Lambton! But I'd better be with Georgiana and Charles or I won't be answerable for my actions he thought worriedly. Then he settled back for sleep and the heated recollection of his dream...

Wendy, by no means should you stop now! More installments, I beg you.

We're not worthy, we're not worthy (on bended knees and bowing to the flutters of delight your prose inspires)

My thanks to those who have expressed their interest in my little tale. You're a very tolerant audience (of my mistakes and sheer lapses of memory and time to do this). Family matters call me away, but I'll continue when possible. ;-)

But don't you dare get flooded over our sakes! We love you alive and well.

P&P as it may have been written by Barbara Cartland! Wendy, Wendy, Wendy...(bemused head shaking...) I am enjoying this much more than I know I should! I have always been rather disdainful of pure romance novels, but this does not bother me for some reason...I wonder why that it could be? ;-)

a certain something in her air and manner of writing, her romantic and yet not trashy address and expressions :)

I am eagerly awaiting the denouement, Wendy. You do, indeed, write beautifully. I, for one, love the romance and the ideas you have put in my mind and imagination. Thank you so much, and do please continue whenever you have time and the flood waters have receded.

As my granny used to say, "We must possess our souls in patience"I probably sound like Mary Bennet.But I feel like Lydia. Great stuff Wendy!Will be thinking of you.

Part Seven Returning from a walk through Lambton the next day, Lizzie was happily surprised by the trio of visitors. Miss Georgiana was a shy, pretty girl to whom she took an instant liking. Mr. Bingley was effusive in his delight and inquiry about "all" her sisters. And Mr. Darcy? Lizzie found it a trifle disconcerting to see the newly awakened look on his face as his glance leapt darkly from her eyes to her mouth and back again. She composed her mind enough, however, to accept the dinner invitation of ered, and in fact spent so much time on dressing that evening as to cause a Collins-like remark about the time from her normally placid uncle. During the musical interlude provided by Miss Bennet accompanied by his sister, Darcy entered such bliss as he had never known. Her sweet soprano voice singing of love rocked his soul gently; he felt her warmth float towards him. An unaccustomed joy soothed his lonely spirit . The piece done and his sister's starting, he was appalled moments later by Miss Bingley's rude remarks about the Bennet girls and Wickham, and he feared for Georgiana's peace of mind. But Lizzie's deft handling of the situation nd subsequent gaze brought back his former mood. Indeed, he could scarcely believe the steadiness with which she looked at him, and he found himself reponding with complete fervor and openness. I love you, you beautiful woman! I want to take you to come over here and caress me like last night. I want to take you in my arms and carry you out into the garden and make love to you in the soft grass. I want this connection I feel in our eyes to never end. In front of all these people I want to declare my love for you, Elizabeth. Neither of them said a word. Some time later, Darcy re-enterd the darkened music room. The rush of emotion he had experienced all evening convinced him Miss Bennet did not abhor him as formerly. The Gardiners whom he genuinely liked had shown their pleasure with his sister and himself, he was comforted to note, and they were likely allies if he renewed his addresses soon. If only there were some way he could be sure of her feelings toward him, some way in which he could really prove himself to her as a well-meaning man to whom she could finally give herself in marriage! Chance may again provide a way he acknowledged as he headed to bed...

Part Eight Lizzie felt a new contentment and lightness of being the next morning, which she told herself she could not account for. When letters arrived from Jane, she begged to be excused from the walking tour planned, and her relatives kindly left her alone to read. To her great discomfort, Lizzie learned of Lydia's scandalous behavior; indeed, she was on her way to fetch her aunt and uncle, in tears, when the door burst open and the serving girl announced Mr. Darcy. She could not bear that he should see her in such wretchedness after their lovely evening together, but it could not be helped. She heard the sincere concern in his rich voice and felt his hands firmly guide her to a seat where she might compose herself. Dimly through her grief she sensed and admired his protective care of herself, a sensation quite different from any even her own dear father, with his tendency to ironic banter, had given her in times of distress. Darcy for his part was greatly shocked at the dregs to which Wickham had lowered himself, especially with a sister of his beloved. He, at least, recognized that a girl of 15 or 16 was too vulnerable to leave unprotected or meddle with, and he was quite sorry that Lydia and her family had not been forewarned by himself when he had first seen Wickham in Meryton. As these and similar thoughts ran through his head, he also listened to Lizzie's broken words and tried to fight an urge to kiss her shaki g hands. When he felt he might lose that fight, he stood with his back to her, then turned and crossed the room, enquiring what had been done to find the pair. Upon hearing her tearful reply, he attempted to bring them both back to some semblance of standard social intercourse by mentioning the defaulted supper plans. To his relief she replied with the customary manner; he then felt capable of taking his leave without throwing caution to the wind and making an advance towards her, which he knew would end awkwardly. Instead, he fixed her with what he hoped was a proper but commiserating look, and then left...

oooooh Wendy You are terrific!!! Please, please continue.

Wendy, I shall be dreaming all day...........Thank you! It's wonderful!

Part Nine Not wanting to dwell on the sudden loss of his lovely Miss Bennet, nor be continually badgered by the unbearable Miss Bingley, Mr. Darcy took himself off to London. Bent on discovering the whereabouts of the missing couple, he made inquiries at every likely location. Knowing Wickham's inclination to repeat previous actions, the owner of Pemberley particularly sought out the lodgings of a Mrs. Young, whom he knew to be in Wickham's confidence and likely to have aided him in his recent escapade, as she h d in his own poor sister's case. He successfully located her in the seedier side of town, learned after some little pressure the address of Wickham, and went thither. The preliminary meeting with the pair was not very satisfactory, to his irritation as a man who abominated the immorality their condition suggested. After the removal of Lydia to the Gardiners', considerable remonstrances on his part, and at last the generous offer of clearing all George Wickham's debts and providing a sum to start life ogether on a proper footing, Darcy succeeeded in making his old nemesis accede to marriage with Lydia. The Gardiners, for their part, were astonished and appreciative of all his efforts, though there was a brief but cordial skirmish on the matter of financing the newlyweds. Unlike perhaps other branches of the Bennet family, the Gardiners had the wit to sense the chivalric motivations of Mr. Darcy, the friendly feelings he had toward themselves and another at Longbourne, and his hope of yet closer ties..

Part Ten After many worrisome days, (including the nervous state of Mrs. Bennet, the "condoling" visits of such persons as Aunt Phillips, Lady Lucas, and the galling Mr. Collins, and the return of a defeated Mr. Bennet), the family were somewhat relieved to learn of the wedding arranged in London. Their concern over the money presumed lent by the Gardiners, however, was mollified for Lizzie at least when a chance remark by the new Mrs. Wickham let slip news of Mr. Darcy's involvement in the London wedding. Letters exchanged with her aunt told Lizzie what her heart had half-surmised, that the new Mr. Darcy (new to her, at any rate) was still somehow in connexion with her life and not a man to be thwarted. This realization caused her some excitement and not a little anxiety, as she attempted to go about her daily routine. Indeed, it was not many days hence when they heard that Netherfield's owner was again come to stay, with a party of gentlemen. The flurry in the Bennet household was a delight to behold when, soon after, two gentlemen were seen to ride up to their residence: Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy. Jane looked prettily modest under the enraptured gaze of Charles; Lizzie tingled under the more swiftly covert glances shot her way by Darcy before the discourteous remarks by her ridiculous mother drove him to stand by he window, there to better control his temper. Lizzie wished with all her heart to silence her mother, but manners forbade it. She imagined herself going up to him, touching his arm, stroking his hair, standing quite close to him, whispering his name until he turned to look into her eyes the way he had that night at Pemberley, his dark fire piercing every corner of her being, until she should cry out in abandonment her love for this man who had so taken her in thrall... She came to herself with a start as she found his eyes fixed on her indeed, his lips parted in a tender half-smile. How fortunate the rest of the group was so concentrated on what was passing between dear Jane and Charles instead! Lizzie blushed furiously and bent to her sewing, making every possible error in her flower pattern; Mr. Darcy made for the door, walking with some difficulty and care. Charles, equally delighted with the effects of his visit, stumbled out after repeated farewells, and the two rode off at a cautious walking pace. ..

Wendy, hurry up and finish, I can hardly wait for the next installment. You write with such feeling and emotion that is so engaging. Please, please dear Wendy include a piece on their wedding and honeymoon.

Part Eleven Never in his life had Mr. Darcy been so forthright with a friend as when he admitted to Mr. Bingley his wrongful part in separating Charles from Miss Jane Bennet. He regretted the look of hurt and reproof in his friend's face, and he apologized for his prior mistaken appraisal of the depth of affection Charles and Jane felt for each other. Charles, forgiving Darcy as one man might an older brother, immediately saw a happy prospect opening before him, and seizing the instant, asked for and banteringly ot Darcy's blessing on his proposing to Jane. As his friend left for town, Bingley rode on horseback to Longbourne and within the hour was the happiest man on earth. The Bennets were content with their prospective son-in-law; he was, as Mr. Bennet commented, one of the few genuinely happy men he had ever met. Jane's glowing features easily told how happy she had become with the long awaited conclusion to her little drama. Her only wish, she confessed to Lizzie, was that her dear sister find such a husband, at which Lizzie outwardly demurred and joked, but inwardly recalled a certain face and hoped for its imminent return. She had not long to wait. On a briskly fine day, Mr. Bingley rode up with Mr. Darcy. The gentlemen accompanied the Bennet girls on a walk, with Kitty, Lizzie and Mr. Darcy in the rear until Kitty went off to visit Maria Lucas at her home nearby. After a moment's awkward quiet, Lizzie attempted to express her family's thanks for his generous efforts to save her sister Lydia from permanent disgrace. Darcy listened gravely, then replied that his good deed had been entirely for her, at which she colored silently, to his encourageme t. Your thoughts have become like mine, my love, full of a passion that cannot be hidden and may not be suppressible much longer. Taking the opportunity, he faced her squarely and asked if her feelings were unchanged. When she managed to admit aloud that they were quite the reverse, his heart felt near to bursting, so deep was his joy. The rest of their party having gone on ahead, Darcy and Lizzie found themselves walking alone under majestic old trees. As the two at first gingerly, then rapidly, disclosed the changes each had undergone during the past months, often due to something the other had said in pride or prejudice, they walked ever closer side by side, lightly bumping into each other, until solitude and desire worked their spell on reason's grasp. Perhaps it was something in her eyes that made him stop discoursing so eloquent y; perhaps it was the power surging through his fingers on hers that made her suddenly tremble as a sapling before the oncoming storm. Her body turned aside in maidenly half-protest, then turned back as his brown eyes beckoned and his arms reached for her. With a sigh she buried herself against him, feeling the pounding of his heart answered by her own. He lifted her chin gently, his lips descending on hers in a long, exploring kiss. Her response during it startled her: she found her hands reaching u , first 'round his neck, then twining through his curls, then clutching his back as they pressed each other closer in a dizzying, fullbody embrace. When at last they pulled apart, both scant of breath, her wide-eyed and him nearly beside himself with need of her, he shook his head slowly and said with the ruefullest of smiles, (version one, "Madam, do you not know we are on a BB rated PG13? ) (version two, "Madam, I think it best we get married as speedily as possible? I know Charles is eager to also! )... And so they married. As to what happened on their wedding night, I'd probably have to start another BB or make it available by private mail. (My husband suggested I could complete the tale,( including the missing first chapters/3 tapes, other scenes, and a more completely fulfilling ending), in booklet form and mail it out at little over the cost of copying, a cover and postage to any fellow addict interested in time for Valentine's Day or May Day!) It was enlightening to do this project, and quite filled my thoughts as I p eced it together over the past days while driving, cooking, even visiting relatives. It is excessively simplistic, this "romancification" of an Austen gem, I know, yet most enjoyable. I should like to try Sense and Sensibility some day. Thank you for your kind indulgence, my dears.

] "When at last they pulled apart, . . . he shook his head slowly and said with the ruefullest of smiles, . . . . 'Madam, do you not know we are on a BB rated PG13?' . . . !" Oh, Wendy -- ROTFLOL!!! What an ending to this romantic set of episodes. Much applause along w/ the laughter. I thank you on behalf of all our family (of fellow addicts).

Wendy - thank you, thank you, thank you. Darcy thanks you also from the bottom of his heart. Words do not come easily to him. You have given him a voice.

Well done Wendy! I would be vastly happy if you would put me on your mailing list!

Wendy - it's absolutely beautiful. I think you have the makings of a romance writer. Darcy thanks you, Lizzie thanks you, Jane Austen thanks you, and I thank you. ;-)

Wendy - it's absolutely beautiful. I think you have the makings of a romance writer. Darcy thanks you, Lizzie thanks you, Jane Austen thanks you, and I thank you. ;-)

Must have clicked twice - quite unintentional, I assure you. But Wendy, add me to your mailing list too - I'd love to get the rest of the story, whether it's for Valentines, Memorial Day, Labor Day or next Christmas (although it would be very hard to wait that long!)

Pray, do consider a new career, success often come from what we enjoy the most. Put me on your mailing list as well. Wunderbar Wendy!

I've just tuned in - now, I really know I'm with the right group "I'm all astonishment! But...Pray....continue!"

Wendy, like the other Wendy in Peter Pan, you tell great stories! Add me to the mailing list, please.....

I still have such flutterings from the romantic version you have provided Wendy and I want to thank you.Bravo, bravo.This was a song worth listening to, to paraphrase Anne Eliott. Would be happy to buy any copy of this if you find a way of distribution. I'll send you my e-mail adress.