Wow, our own Autumn! How did this idea come to you Mike?

Her posting in the "Claire Danes" topic - go visit it :-)

So do you have a centerfold of Autumn?

Not yet :)

ROTFLMAO!!!!! You guys are too much! If I had a scanner I could put an end to this topic right now, but since I don't, you'll just have to use your imaginations! Turn-ons: world peace, recycling, convenience food eaten by candlelight and air conditioning Turn-offs: despotic rulers, bad grammar, crackheads, caffeine and panty hose

Autumn, you forgot to mention men covered in chocolate!

panty hose Does that mean your into stockings, then? *leeer* :) If you want, you could send a photo to a friend with a scanner, and we would really really love you to. Oh yes.

LOL! (look out Autumn... here comes trouble!)

So, statuesque is she?

Ha Ha! Oui, oui, men in chocolate--a definite turn-on; men in "riverdance"--a definite turn-off. And yes, Mike, there are (cough) various reasons why stockings are preferable to panty hose...

and the thigh highs are alot less work.

Not least that they make guys faint. And swoon. And other stuff. Oo-er

and you can pull em up all slinky-like. and then down again, all slinky-like. oh dear, i think i'm going to have to go and lie in a dark room now.

*laugh* (uhoh! he's swooning again!)

user mikeg has been added as all powerful host of this conference.

*watch out!* I'm coming down! Actually, I do have a certain tendency to faint sometimes, which can be highly embarrassing. I was in church a month or so ago, and right at the end I just smashed to the floor. I was totally confused for about two hours afterwards...twasn't much fun :/

oh goodness me....now i can go around abusing you all, pretending i'm in some other conf on the Spring

Like mine?

You actually faint, mike?? I thought that was an 18th century thing that went out of style! What is the cause/remedy?

cause: hitting the floor remedy: unhitting it

lol (very nice, mike)

and damn embarrassing.

had a grandmother that was an accomplished swooner (and she was never embarrassed... though the sincerity of her spells has always rather been questionable, to me... how can one ALWAYS manage to land in a comfortable place?)... anyway, your attitude about it seems quite healthy... is the fainting caused by any particular thing?

nekkid pics of certain females, as we know

noooooooooooooooo...that ain't true :) It tends to happen when I'm very hungry, and/or very tired. The Church thing happened after I'd been up without sleep for about 30 hours, with little food

sounds like prayer was the last thing you needed. more like a quick stop at Denny's for a Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity!

:-)

Sounds like hypoglycemia to me... LOVE the new graphics, Mike!

glad you approve, autumn :-) How about some graphics of yourself in return?? :-)

I AM NOT ABLE TOCONNECT TO NET2PHONE WEBSITE AND DOWNLOAD, SO PLEASE ADVICE WHAT TO DO.

first of all, find your capslock key and press it till the light on your keyboard goes out :-)

second, go to the apps conference at http://www.spring.com/yapp-bin/restricted/apps/all and there should be a topic for ya!

LOL! Too much Mike, the sarcastic banter has incited an unstoppable (at the moment) series of belly laughs! (you two were MOST helpful)

there's a topic for everything in apps. shakesperean interpretation of Netscape Communicator 4? Of course.

Anyway, can we get back on Autumn, now?

Literally? ha ha Guess what my brother unveiled on Easter? A new scanner....

woo hoo!

Why, whatever could that mean?

well...... (btw, got a scanner too *impish grin*)

brill o brill. this is quite the kinkiest conf on the Spring, in my opinion. devoted to those female members of our clan. and with pictures. and, dare i say it, candle wax? ;))

dare, dare!

LOL

Have you noticed that we seem to follow the same line of conversation no matter what conference we're in??

Really? Wow, I never even noticed. You sure? This revelation has caught me totally off-guard. It's gotta be either a coincidence, or misinterpretation of available data... (next thing is, what, you don't think we're being topical either, right?)

lol

I heard 'candle wax'... and rushed right over!

Unfortunately, you rushed over to wrong place...

But while you're here, do you need any ear candling done? I have lots of satisfied customers....

I saw ear candling at the Whole Life Expo. What exactly does this procedure accomplish?

pain.

what the hell is ear candling? (*lol* stacey)

No, no, no! It is very soothing. It wicks away all the gunk that builds up in the ear canal without using an invasive procedure or chemicals. It's always fun to unwrap the candle when you're done and make little wax bunnies out of the resin--kidding! Honestly, you would be surprised at the pollen and other environmental powders that wind up in your ears. An interesting site is: http://www.arden.net/earcandle/

am gonna check that out, cuz i just don't get it. what about an ear wash, with water or saline solution? do they do nose candling too?

trepanation, anyone?

gross!!

Maybe I'll get an ear candle job at the Whole Life Expo coming up. Now, are you sure there's nothing to fear about this procedure? There's no potential downside?

Well, if you try to do it while watching TV your hair might catch on fire. That's why someone always has to do it to you (although I know some idiots who do it to themselves). Nothing to fear and with low lighting and your favorite music, it's relaxing (not as relaxing as say, a massage, but nice nonetheless). Wolf, LOL about the nose candling! About the ears, though, there are plenty of people for whom peroxide on a cotton ball just doesn't cut it. Sorry Mike, trepanning is a little too invasive for my taste! :-)

Autumn: and what to do about that bald spot!! Oh, and the candling sucks stuff out of the ear? I mean, what is the concept here? they stick this candle in your ear, light it, and the vacuum it creates sucks all the crud from inside the ear canal? hey, it could work for sinus problems. just have to figure out how to get the customer to lay upside down comfortably!

and how to clear it with your insurance company.

ha-ha!! Yeah, finally made it here, Mike! Could not find the damn conference - must have been sitting in my blind spot the whole time. Just now I turned my head slightly to the left, and what do you know: BABES! Just popped up out of the blue. Seeing as I'm not really into Sandra Bullocks and Claudia Schiffer, and seeing as I was curious as to what your making fun would look like on screen, II thought I'd come to Autumn. If she's really a 5'9 - wow! - then I'll at least feel safe and protected here with my short arse. Impressed, Mike, really impressed . . .

We'll have to get you your own page so you can tell us all about your short arse!

but....but....but it's not short it's rather voluptuous if i do not say so myself

well, don't say so myself...

oops...sorry...got my wires crossed there not that they're not crossed all the time anyway this time i think they double-crossed me see, i thought i was in another conversation (and thought that Autumn thought I'd said my arse was short --even though NOW I quite distinctly remember Riette saying that about herself in her earlier post) and thought i didn't have to check any earlier responses to see what was really goin' on in the conversation (when I first brought up Autumn's #61) then, after all that, i thought, hmmm, i could let that stand anyway & it'd be funny then i thought, no, i wanna live

and yet another excellent point, Jim...

Ha-ha! You scared, Texas? Now why would that be?

i'm not in the closet....please don't look there....

I'll look under the bed then. And pretend you're dead . . . that's how necrophilliacs like it . . .

ok, just don't look in the closet....i'm not in the closet....

Who said I was looking for you? I'm not looking for a fight, you see, and so I won't look in the closet . . . too scared you'll fight with me until we both end up sulking again. . . But if you promise not to fight with me, I might just go looking for my . . . fur coat . . . in the closet over there. Are you amongst the fur, Texas?

Well, uh, Riette?....turn the light off in the room. I've got the light off in here. Okay, good. I'm opening the door real slow. That's you? Ok, i got yer hand. Groovy, yer in now. Our own closet. See, isn't this fun? Isn't it different? You feel so close....you feel like a guided dream....

Hmm, that's romantic. But I'm not sure it'll work . . . I only go for older men, you know. And you're so young and innocent, I would not want to misguide you, and turn you decadent and wild. But since I can't see you and you can't see me, let's get under the fur and see what happens. Can you feel me? You still think I'm voluptuous? Careful now . . .

is that cheese on your breath? what kinda cheese is that? chumbawumba? no, no, everything's okay. um, pardon me, but could i have your inner thigh? oh wait, can you hang on a sec? there's alotta people out there. a buncha big-breasted nympho cheerleaders just came into the room. yes, i'll close the door. yes, i'll lock it. no, i don't care about them at all. did you know i became a mom this year? ok, i WILL be a mom this year. alright, early next year. my mum's left eyeball always haunted me. oh, sorry....I'll keep that to myself. yes, you ARE right, i shoulda known better....i'm so naive. hey, there's a countertop in here. yeah, there is....no, there really is. let me knock the rest of the shoes off. do you want up? here, i'll help you. ready? upsy-daisy... fun just follows you around, doesn't it.... the sudden closeness of your voluptuous kiss..... mmm-mmm-mmm, i want another....WHAT? that wasn't YOU???!!

oh, just take yourself a damn cheerleader, will you? Wouldn't want you to miss out on their tall, willowy, pom-pommy, chumbawumby, big breasted, silicon implanty, make-uppy voluptuousness, would we? Knew I shouldn't have gone for a youth! Only older guys can appreciate a women with voluptuousless uncurves anyway.

I'm to assume you're being playful, that you're not being antagonistic, right? Am I learning how to learn about you? Does it look like, now, that I'm making progress there with that?

OH, I'm so glad you're here. Just finished a painting (Lovers embracing . . . ), and am so full of adrenaline that my arm is hurting and I can't sleep at all! Of course I'm being playful, silly! Got nothing against cheerleaders, except that they have big . . . pom-poms. You want to learn about me? Now how am I supposed to believe that?

um, he keeps responding to your posts...

in strange and intriguing ways . . . and it was meant as a joke. Gee, American guys are so touchy!! I take it your working day is over then.

maybe just this american guy. i really am touchy....and dense as can be..... i'm a cancer....aren't they supposedly too sensitive or something.... i dunno. um, no, my working day begins when i begin to work on my understanding of your ways. you are helping alot, y'know....i find some solace in that.

Well, I didn't say I didn't like touchy. Touchy is good - it's interesting and provocative (and easily provoked!), and unpredictable, adventurous, sensitive, sweet and infuriating. Just how I like it. Nothing cancerous about that. If there were cancer would have been a good thing instead of a killer. Anyway, glad you're still hanging in there - trying to understand me. I am beginning to think it's better NOT to understand you though. I like the mystery, but I know exactly what you look like in my head. It's the personality that still puzzles, baffles, bewilders, and makes me laugh. Don't want to find all the answers though. But I am beginning to understand you a bit better too. You know we've been in this closet for almost three days now, with a third person who turned out to be Wer, and we still haven't fought. That's got to be a record! Let's celebrate. Damn, we don't have any champaigne. Love you.

Please refrain from using the word "cancer" in my topic! (bad karma, you know)

Jawohl, mein F�hrer!

Danke schoen!

Sehr gut! Wir k�nnten damit vielleicht sogar ein paar Deutscher f�r diese Konferenz gewinnen! Gott, nein!!! Let's speak English again!!

Ich spreche Anglische sehr gut! Nicht Deutsch! Ha ha

Velly goot! By the way, I knew you were a teacher!

did you know her daughters were, too? they taught Autumn everything she knows.... they taught me how to unlearn everything i know... they taught me how to use a defibrillator (they call it a thingamajig or a doohickey) i use mine on my brain...that's how i jumpstart my day every morning, y'see....

And when that jump happens you probably forget to even blink!

i suppose we all have to defib our brains in the a.m. but I prefer coffee, or sex, or... well those are my two favorite ways but sometimes a good run/skate/bike ride works too. Hey Autumn... has anyone told you you're a babe lately?!!? They haven't? Well, you know that's why we're all here! cheers!

yep, need some eye candy for the conversation!

Ha, ha! Working on it!! Stacey, that's a good one for the "sex or..." topic--Sex or Coffee?? I'd have to think about that one!! You're beautiful, baby!

what about coffee flavored massage oil?

oooooh, I like the sound of that! Actually, I always wondered why they don't make coffee-scented air fresheners. The scents they sell at the store always smell like cheap perfume.

they make candles with coffee beans in them...

Yes, you're right, I've seen those!! Have you ever smelled one while it's burning?

yep...yummy-yummy...

I must say, coffee doesn't 'do' it for me like that. My favourite smell in the world is diesel fumes. As a kid I used to stand by the ventilation holes of the generating room on my granddad's farm, and inhale those fumes with all my might. Now I'm more discreet - just have to turn my head towards the road to get that smell.

oh Riette...

oh benzene...

Hope that sort of thing doesn't get classified under 'fettish' . . .