her animal magnetism that alone makes me glassy-eyed and pygmy-oystered she takes me to wuthering heights then drops me into empowering spasms of the personal empirical always has me feelin pickled with delight she shines a floodlight on where I can step outa my plight and do what i might i feel her might and i can feel encircled, surrounded, all wrapped up in her love

ha-ha! Get outta here! We cowgirls aren't babes - we're homespun short arses!

"Even cowgirls get the babes," said Tim Robbins. I think it's their homespun short arses that does it. Anyone else feel that way? Babes say that cowgirls are more babe than they themselves are. Cowgirls say they been babes since before babes were babies. Willie says, "Don't let your babies grow up to be cowgirls." I say, "My willy is willy willy doin' willy all better now." Here's what I did: I swabbed me willy in hydrogen peroxide. Just the very tip end of it where it was hoitin' so baaad. Then I took my little tube of Neosporin (an antibiotic pain relieving ointment), just like nurse Riette suggested I do ("Use ointment on yer painful pecker, Tex!") ....and i took the nipple of the tube and inserted it a good half inch into the slit there on the tip of my willy... ...and as i withdrew it, i squeezed out a goodly amount of da ointment The results were almost instantaneous.....it fell off... No, no, it spelled relief for me in the moment i started squeezin'. There were no lapses, either. I believe it's a miracle. I called the Catholic Church and told them I'd witnessed a miracle. They asked me if an image of the Virgin Mary or any other virgin was involved. I said, "Does the virgin Jim count?" They hung up on me.

ha-ha!! Glad willy's better though. Thanks for the detailed discriptions, Tex. We all know exactly what he looks like now. He's upright with a slit at the top, and covered in something greasy and white . . .

Wer, what does "dela, dela, niangadela" mean?

Elakwabani?! It means, 'Content, content, I am content!' Why? You dela? (Though 'niangadela' might be spelled incorrectly - that's how the word sounds, but I'm not sure about the spelling at all. I have a better ear than eye for languages.)

Oops, sorry, Autumn, didn't see the question was meant for Wer!

Whatever! Thanks for the translation.

Any time. What are you going to do with it? I normally say it to myself when my tum is stuffed with strawberries and orange juice!

elakwabani?! means: don't buy the whole house, Autumn, just buy the bathrooms?!

Wrong. It means: Who's child is this? Like in - gee, that person is acting weirdly . . . Khuzani!!

Let me guess: God bless you! (like when you sneeze)

HA-ha!!! That's brilliant! I was just admonishing Jim, but I think for once an American came up with a better use for a Zulu word than the Zulus themselves!!!

Please pick Jim up off the floor Riette, he's liable to hurt his willy again. It's okay, we know you had no idea he'd react to admonishment so severely... I think it was the Zulu...

ha-ha . . . Jim . . .JIm? . . . JIM!! $hit, Stacey, I think he's having a severe mind strike, or is it pain? Perhaps I should have waited with that admonishment until receiving a detailed description of the state his willy's in now . . .

keeping screaming his name like that and I think his willy will be just fine! *laugh* *giggle* *snort* ahem!

ha-ha! And I thought willies were deaf . . .

oh, no...say the right things and/or in the right way, and they will pay attention to you all day...

All day? Talk about eager Willy Billy! See, it's something I could never understand - I mean how do Willies DO that? The Willy I'm aquainted with always seems to jump to attention at such totally weird moments - like when I'm furious with it's owner. And once in an art course we were doing acts, and I sat right in front of the model, feeling wicked. The guy dared look into my eyes, so I looked at his jewels, and pulled up a highly amused eyebrow, and woop! There Willy went, and the whole class was in stitches. I mean, don't you guys have any kind of control down there? Or does it just have a one tracked mind of its own? Weird!!! I shall have to do some more research, I suppose . . .

both...

Both? That sounds awfully philosophical - whether to act upon instinct or thought or free will(y).

free willy?

Didn't you read the other responses? We were talking about willies, their actions, reactions and erections . . . .!! I was just saying about how guys don't seem to have a hell of alot of control over that particular part of their anatomy. And I thought it may have something to do with instinct, thought and free will(y).

Riette... Free Willy is also a movie released in the US about freeing a killer whale (named willy) in captivity... the comparisons, innuendos and suggestions are indeed endless with a phrase like that... I LOVE IT! *laugh*

Me too! And I know about the movie. Laughed myself to bits over the shorts, and the deep voice or the presenter/narrator/whatever going on about a boy and his Free Willy. Gee, how are kids supposed to grow up with unpolluted minds if they're going to n ame a sop story Free Willy!!?

ok, i gotta ask, riette where in the heck are you? (country wise) and Jim, i'm glad your willy is better now.....i don't want to know anything else about it, although, i was quite curious the way you went on with your, uh, medical description, as to what exactly happened to it!

I'm in Switzerland, Wolf. Jim should be in the next Willy movie . . . 'Cure Willy'!!

and does this not bring new meaning to the movie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? *laugh*

ha-ha!!!!! And they expect people to watch it with a straight face!!!!! That's just about expecting the impossible.

or a children's story-Little Willy's BooBoo....

At least he had two Boo Boo's, not just one . . .

I hear the Riette babe has a scanner now . . .

Sure do. Pity I don't know how to scan through images . . . it's high time I prove to you guys that I'm no babe!

can you sit on a scanner for a picture like you can on a copy machine?

Coming soon to a theatre near you: "Free Jane Austen" "Jane Austen and the Chocolate Factory"

ha-ha!!!! to both of you! Well, Wer, your sitting on a scanner will certainly provide us with some interesting, and intricate background! My sitting down will only do one thing - ruin a brand-new piece of equipment!

i've seen riette. she's a *babe* :-))))) i've no idea about the rest of our spring-ladies, but if you're half as gorgeous as riette, you're mega-babes! :-)

How did you get to see her?

He used a telescope, and saw somebody else, I think!

riette posted me a picture of herself, to check whether her scanner was working. it is working. she's a chick :)

I'm still retraining myself to pronounce her name, ree 'head. ree 'head.

Oh, Terry, don't worry about that so much - you'll probably never have to pronounce it out loud. Names like these are better left unspoken!

No, it's a great name. Such an interesting pronounciation.

Am I allowed to post your picture yet, Riette? :) (it's still "Ree-ettah" to me, although I'm trying to change. It just doesn't look like "Ree-head" :-)

I'm sure there's some subtle variance that makes it just a wee bit different than a literal pronounciation of ree 'head.

yeah. i was thinking maybe "ree-hea'dah"

SURE you can post the pic, Mike, I don't really mind. It's not like one sees much of my face anyway. I'm no babe, but I'm not ashamed of it, and at least it will give the more ordinary looking women of this world someone to identify with after that picture of that Alicia Silverstone female person. Where do they FIND people who look like that?! Perhaps it'll also help you make up your minds on which pronunciation you'd like to use? I'm used to ree-head, but, hey, after seeing my picture, you might think the right pronunciation to bee ree-head-duh!, Terry. I leave it up to you. Please just don't expect some beautiful woman to pop up on your screen, because you WILL be dissapointed.

oh my love, you are sooooo wrong. and to prove it: The Wonderful Riette Walton

or, of course, I could always just provide the link to my own web site, which I actually know how to work :-) The Wonderful Riette Walton

hey, it's Stacey with short hair!!! it's odd finally seeing a face to go with the conversations... and I've done this several times now! okay, when do we get the full body shot sans izingubo? (or would that be sans okwokwembatha?)

ha-ha!!! Don't insult Stacey like that! No, you can ask her and Autumn for full body pics - don't have those of me! Chris would kill me! (For inflicting that on others!!!!) Ngiwakwa next door! The zulu gives you a kick, doesn't it?! But I am curious to see all of you too. And the good part is that I'm the UNbabe, so nobody has to be shy. Mike, can we open an album topic? For anyone who wants to show us what they look like. (Well, I know which one of you I would like to see there - you know, that one where you have those really groovy sideburns. That was really sexy!) And you can put yours in first to encourage the others. I think it will be nice to see who the people we talk to here.

why yes it does...I just wish it had a Zulu to English half... I can't look up what you're saying :-(

Wow, Riette, you look gorgeous! No question you belong in babes.

�big beaming smile� Thank God for men with strange taste in women!

thank God for tasty strange women, also...

too true, wer!

�smile� And what strange and mysterious creatures men are.

and what a sexy voice you have :-) a perfect mix of teutonic and african.

ha-ha! But seriously, do you know, people always think I come from Wales(!!!!!??) of all places. I've never heard the way people speak there - do they also speak a perfect mix of teutonic and Efrican?

Y draig groich will love that one...

Oh God, is THAT how I sound?!! 'Cos if I do I'm going to commit suicide by holding my breath until I die. Can't even make out what Y draig groich is supposed to mean - something vulger about groins?

VulgAr, that is. Damn.

you sound perfick, riette:)

It's the name of the dragon on the Welsch flag...

ha-ha!! A dragon called Groin!! Now that sounds VERY perfuck . . . . I mean perfick to me.

The only Welsh accent I've ever heard is from the film "How Green Was My Valley."

i had a welsh classmate when i was doing my A-levels. she was fanatically welsh, and was forever going on about how much better Wales was, and how much older Welsh was etc. She was a complete nightmare, and bloody annoying. That's the main memory I have of the Welsh. Although I have a Welsh tutor, who is a decent geezer. I guess that balances things out.

So that means if someone asks me if I'm Welsh, I should be offended?

depends whether you like welsh people, which on the whole, i don't. except when i do :)

Well, I don't know any Welsh people. Except for myself - when people think me Welsh. So on the whole it's a bad thing. Pirheps I sjould just speak wif the boer eksent from now on.

will it compliment my boor accent?

I'm not sure. Going to have to see a more concrete sample of your boor accent to be able to judge. Like Ugha-Ugha-ooma-rooma-tchitchi-booma or whatever.

i love the boer accent - it makes me grin :))

So you admit it - I DO have a horrible boer accent. Yuk! Never going to open my mouth again!

Now, we're going to need a recording to go with the picture! I must hear this accent!

No, plies, Sir, I do n�t want to bie �mb�rressed laaik th�t.

you only have a hint of it, and it mixes with the teutonic well :)

Now you see why I enjoy putting myself down!

Riette...you're beautiful!

Thanks, Kristen. It really is only the photo that must be flattering - I'm not at all beautiful in real life. I'm 24, and look 44.

The pic of you, Riette, in the photo machine with your sister and the one above show very different sides of you! In both of them, you look very nice.

You're beautiful, baby! And you don't look a day over 24.

Then I must have actually slept the night before that party!!! ha-ha!

Sonja here: Isn't she the most annoying person you've ever met??? She always makes those awful jokes about herself - utterly irritating when one has to live with her. And here is something I seriously don't understand. On Wednesday we were in some shopping mall, trying out perfumes and stuff, when some woman came up to us - said she was editor of some hair magazine. Then she asked Ri�tte if she'd be interested in modelling work for the mag, since she has a great face and gorgeous hair (when she bothers to comb it, that is). Take a guess at the answer Ri�tte gave.

lol!!!! I bet she turned her down flat saying "I'm ugly, I'm ugly!" when all of the chaps here (and now a model scout) say otherwise. Riette: One day you'll wake up and old age will have taken its toll; you won't be gorgeous any more and you'll have wasted all of those beautiful years. D.O.N.'T - it's an insult to those of us who aren't fortunate enough to be wonderful looking!!

riette approached by a model scout! what a great thing to have happen to someone. she has beautiful eyes framed by a beautiful face, perfect for modeling!

She said "You must be joking!"

I cannot believe this. I cannot believe you told them this, you blurter! Has the family not trashed me enough by now??? If only you could've kept quiet LIKE I ASKED YOU. �snort� And I didn't say any of those things - I said, 'Thank you, but no, I don't do that.', that's all. (God, am I THAT predictable??) Plus I said I'd pose if they'd leave out the face and only take shots of the hair - not that unreasonable if you take into account the fact that it's supposed to be a HAIR magazine, not a FACE magazine. And don't worry, Mikey, I'm not wasting any gorgeous years - I just CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME see myself in that role, that's all - covered in disgusting, sticky make-up on so e silly, glossy paper that makes one look like something one isn't; the very thought of it makes it difficult to breathe.

(If I'm not back by 12:00 tomorrow, please inform the police that my sister has killed me.) Two years ago my brother in-law sent her and Isa's picture in for a Mother and Baby competition; it was the only non-pro pic - and they won!

LOL!!! i dunno, not doubting riette as model material, but there's a thing going on in the malls here where people say you'd be perfect for a modelling job-let's go to my van and take some trial photos---AND the women go!!! what happens next is not a pretty site at all. they are kidnapped and...... so riette, you were just being careful (i'll stand up for you, even though i've told you you're beautiful)!! on the other hand--what about the real women modelling agency we were talking about? (riette?????)

Thank you, Wolf, thank you! I knew I could count on you! And yes, in our REAL WOMEN modelling agency there will be no make-up, and no fancy hair!

No models either; I mean how many women do you know (apart from yourself) who'd be willing to model without make-up on??? I sure wouldn't!

Well, that's why Wolf and I DON'T have a Real Women modelling agency, isn't it???

My point exactly. Why worry about whether you want to wear make-up or not when you can earn a load of money for little work in two hours??

You're too weird to argue with.

You're too kind.

Don't mention it.

Make up or none, you're both gorgeous :)

Awe, you're so sweet! Thank you, Mike.

Gee, are you alright, girl? Remember, you're supposed to say: No we're not, we're fat and ugly!