I confess I haven't seen East is East yet, but Bradford is almost certain to be the town you mention, as it has the highest percentage Asian population of any town in the UK.

The No. 1 boxoffice British movie of last year, sort of, and you haven't seen it? Bad! ;-) Thanks, I knew it sounded familiar.

Colin mention in an Independent article about the influence of actors, called "Are Thespians the Rulers of the Modern World?" Not worth reproducing in its entirety, but here's the paragraph (hardly worth doing): There are, presumably, a few bright actors, but, on the evidence of television chat shows, most of them are fearfully second-rate when required to talk without the help of a writer. According to a recent book, Fame: The Psychology of Stardom, by Glenn Wilson and Andy Evans, some of them are even so vulnerable that they fall victim to what is known as "possession syndrome". So Charlton Heston found that he became rather odd while playing the mad Captain Queeg in The Caine Mutiny. Daniel Day-Lewis confused the ghost and his real father in Hamlet. And ever since Fever Pitch, Colin Firth has been an avid Arsenal fan.

There are, presumably, a few bright actors, Darn, I thought they were going to use Colin as an example of one of those few. Instead he gets branded as an Arsenal supporter which somehow seems to mean having a lesser IQ. Am amazed they didn't trot out the old Mr. Darcy connection but then Colin's never confused himself with a Regency buck. That's only for film reviewers and a fair number of tunnel vision fans. ;-)

MLSF Premieres tonight in UK All those phone calls to Miramax really paid off,Bethan. Buena Vista put it within your proximity. http://www.nmpft.org.uk/whatson/bradfilmfest/america/life.asp ~~~~~~~~ That Museum looks interesting too. Pity it's so for tourists. Wonder if they have any of CF productions in their holdings. The Museum for Film and TV in New York City has LE.

(KarenR)And ever since Fever Pitch, Colin Firth has been an avid Arsenal fan. Wot? You tellin' me I missed my chance to go to the Donmar in full Arsenal regalia, as I meant to but thought better (worse) of? Gaaah!

(Bethan) SLOW is in Blockbusters - no problem. I like it! Me too..I couldn't believe it I went in and asked and .......the tape was handed over. *faint* I have to say that from the reviews and sundry other comments I was sure that I wouldn't like it. But I was glad to be proved wrong. I suppose the story was a little thin but it was positively obese in comparison with some of the other stuff that CF has done. There were some good scenes between Sammy and Matthew, the rapport here was wonderful, I particularly enjoyed the fact that Matthew was speaking to Sammy as an equal ..all lads together. Those scenes had some great lines: "a bad sign, Clarks sandals - always followed by a father with a shotgun" and "rabbits" (!?). Of course Colin was fab in it but then he always is, NL's performance was OK but her accent did wander a bit. The only sad thing is, I've got to hand it back tomorrow ;-(

He's now an Arsenal fan. Everybody needs a hobby.

Hey, gang, we're in the big time now: Colin was an answer on Jeopardy (U.S. game show) tonight. Clue was: Actor Colin, or a narrow body of water, something, something . . . The contestant (male) got it right--$500 and on a Daily Double, no less! (Tracy) I suppose the story was a little thin but it was positively obese in comparison . . . LOL! Tracy, I love how you turn a phrase.

The contestant (male) got it right--$500 and on a Daily Double, no less! Now that's a new standard for greatness if I ever heard one... Being famous means... you're a Daily Double answer on Jeopardy! LOL! And why shouldn't he be?! ;-)

Tracy, ask your Blockbusters if you can buy a "frequent renters" ticket for SLOW? Let's hear some of your favorite scenes, lines, clothes, scalp shots, whatever. ;-) (Mari) Colin was an answer on Jeopardy (U.S. game show) tonight...$500 and on a Daily Double, no less! Grrr!! What was the name of the category? *Breech* that Geographical Gap?

Grrr!! What was the name of the category? *Breech* that Geographical Gap? LOL, Karen! I bet Colin prefers to be in the geographical category to the Austen one. ;-) (Tracy) I suppose the story was a little thin but it was positively obese in comparison . . . (Mari),LOL! Tracy, I love how you turn a phrase. Quite true, Tracy. We have been denied long enough! That is one reason I look forward to SLOW. :-)

I have just remembered! Anything from Bradford? Did no one go? Any news in the local papers?

Karen and All: Alberta from the FOF list sent this today. "I have just arrived home after the seeing MLSF at the Bradford Film Festival, What a wonderful film. The Film festival really was fantastic, films from far and wide all shown in one city and a Northern city at that. Bradford is set among the Yorkshire Moors, a far cry from London. We battled a severe gale to get over the moors, but it was really worth the effort. Colin was wonderful and even my husband who is not a CF fan laughed all the way through it. Now for the video. Best wishes. Alberta." I wonder if they saw Stephen W in their scary trip over the moors? Murph

...Anything from Bradford? Did no one go? Any news in the local papers? I could not find a Bradford newspaper on line.Would Bradford have a Chamber of Commerce? I'm about to call American Airlines....they sponsored the FF;-)

Three Cheers for Alberta!Wonder how far she had to go to brave the gales over the moors. Now there's a fan...right up there with Susan! Pl ask her Murph, what the audience reaction was.I'm banking on UK on making this a big hit.

I wonder if they saw Stephen W in their scary trip over the moors? Wrong moor, I think, Murph. SW was in the west country so it would have been Dartmoor or Exmoor. .(Evelyn)I'm banking on UK on making this a big hit. Don't hold your breath! I have not heard a word about it in the press. (Karen).I'm banking on UK on making this a big hit. The only paper I know anything about (I am an ignorant southerner, sorry Bethan;-))is the Yorkshire Post. I shall go and check if that is online.

Ooops! What went wrong there? That should have been: Something from Karen about Bradford newspapers The only paper I know anything about (I am an ignorant southerner, sorry Bethan;-))is the Yorkshire Post. I shall go and check if that is online.

Thanks Allison...see if you can find out anything of a review...we're all eager to hear. I have not heard a word about it in the press I have great faith in Lord Puttnam;-)

Just to add to Murph's report. More from our FoF on the scene: The theater was less than half full (BUT that may have been due to the weather--will ask). They handed out audience rating cards and of course she wrote "wonderful" all over it. The guy collecting them said that was the reaction from all the cards he had seen. (Evelyn) I have great faith in Lord Puttnam;-) I do too. The guy was over here giving interviews and promoting it as best he could. You have to support your own work; the squeaky hinge gets the grease these days.

she wrote "wonderful" all over it Pfft! Unprepared ;-)

The Yorkshire Post is "sort of" online. Nothing about cultural activities or reviews. Have read interesting article about a liposuction malpractice case though! ;-)

Thanks Murph and Mari for relating MLSF report from Bradford FF.. Mari...pl.ask Alberta about the demographics of the audience.Impt. for young people to like this. They go to the movies in UK.Did they all laugh at the right places?

re MLSF at The Bradford Film Festival - Apparently Colin's name was hardly mentioned in the publicity just a small mention in the programme. RH was the main star. Hope this isn't how it is going to be when it goes on general release. BTW please remember that it was Bethan who alerted us to the fact that MLSF was showing at the Bradford F.F. in the first place and that not everyone is a free agent, thankyou Bethan for alerting us to the fact that MLSF was showing at the Festival and please let us know if you read any reviews from the Festival for MLSF.

Apparently Colin's name was hardly mentioned in the publicity just a small mention in the programme. RH was the main star WOT?Is this the way it is going to be publicized in the UK? With Malcolm Mc Dowell probably getting second billing? Those of us who viewed it in the US clearly saw "starring Colin Firth" in the opening credits.(With an accompanying rush!)What's going on here? Are you just going to stand by and watch them publicize it that way? Steal the film right under him? Hang the reviews! Get moving on reversing that publicity.

How do you suggest it be done, Evelyn?

Call Buena Vista International (they are the distributors) and ask them who is handling the MLSF publicity. Then talk to the Marketing director and tell them what you heard re: the cast billing of MLSF at the Bradford FF. (Of course, it is all hearsay, since we do not know anything concrete!)

David Puttnam is a minister in the Blair Government - Colin is not considered to be politically reliable!! Could be you know - but it is pretty stupid not to name him the star which he was. Also he is so popular with so many women in the U.K. that they would flock to see them. It'll be interesting to see what Buena Vista have to say.

I believe Bethan has already been in touch with the Bradford Film Festival people and pointed out the error of their ways, we shall see. I

Okay, some facts about the FF and MLSF, as it's in my neck of the woods. One. CF, MM and IJ were were all omitted from the cast list in the main programme, which was sent out to all enqurers and also included free in the Yorkshire Post and Bradford Telegraph and Argus. I phoned up the FF Programme organisers to complain, and they said it was a typographic error..the cast list took up two lines and they'd "lost" one line. But it did mean that the casting of MLSF was de-emphasised, but promoted for most other movies. Two. The Pictureville at Bradford has a seating capacity of over 300 (unlike the two other venues used in the FF which only seat 100). If it was half full, this was a good turnout for a badly promoted film (I've been there with an audience of about 20!). It was a very cold and blustery evening, and mid-week. Three. I phoned yesterday to ask whether MLSF will be screened again at the Pictureville, and it will, when MLSF opens officially in May. I asked if it had a good audience reaction and was told "Yes, very good indeed!" Four. I wouldn't call opening at the Bradford FF a "premiere"...more a preview. The Pictureville is not the Curzon in London. The Curzon has the second largest seating capacity after the mega Odeon Leicester Square. It's currently showing "Topsy Turvy" and has shown "Onegin" and "The Winslow BOy". All of these were heavily promoted in the UK, especially "Onegin", and included talk show appearances by cast members, clips on TV, and interviews with directors, plus the usual magazine coverage. If MLSF's opening was put back to secure an opening at the Curzon, I would expect them to promote it. And David Puttnam really does promote! I can't see CF doing "Parkinson", but he'll *have* to do press interviews. Five. The main paper for Bradford is the Telegraph and Argus, which is sort of online, (search thru Yahoo). Six. The screening of MLSF was on the same night as an important Parents' Evening re my son's GCSE progress and A level choices (both landmark exams in the UK education system). My husbabd actually agreed that if we got away in time we'd go straight to Bradford as he didn't mind seeing MLSF with me (we usually try to catch a movie at the local FFs). But we didn't finish til well after eight, and even I couldn't justify going to see the second half of a film!! Sorry, for once, it seemed as though there was "no problem"! But we will go in May. Seven. Got a refund on SLOW as it janmed my VCR (Now thankfully working again) and have rented a copy from Blockbusters. Will post at 98 over the weekend, butthe more I see of SLOW the more I like it. I missed a lot at the screening. I like the performances and (would you believe!) most of the dialogue, especially between Nimi and her mother, and, surprisingly, Matthew and his wife.

Thanks for all the above, Bethan.

Eight. Thank you, Bethan, for all the additional information. Shame that everything associated with the film's promotion got screwed up and that you weren't able to see it. (AnneH) Also he is so popular with so many women in the U.K. that they would flock to see them. Unfortunatley, that remains to be seen. Back to something Allison mentioned yesterday, was Master of the Moor really supposed to be set in the West Country? I assumed it was Yorkshire as well.

Also he is so popular with so many women in the U.K. that they would flock to see them. They sure didn't flock to see him in SLOW.....which bombed at the box office.

. I wouldn't call opening at the Bradford FF a "premiere"...more a preview. My dictionary says "Premiere= First public performance".(It does not mention Pictureville excluded). Preview would have been at Mr. Young's.....IMO

Mention of Colin in the Guardian's section on World Book Day and an article on Britain's Top 50 Authors: But the most remarkable coup was by Jane Austen as the only classic writer to reach the top 10. She came eighth, ahead of Dick Francis, the world's bestselling horror writer Stephen King, Danielle Steele, Tolkien, Wilbur Smith and John Grisham. The poll was carried out at 4,000 bookshops and libraries, in schools and on the web. Its results were heavily slewed towards parental and children's book purchases and the book-buying tastes of young people. If only adult votes had been counted, Austen - helped by television adaptations including a shot of Colin Firth in wet, semi-transparent underclothes - would have come fourth.

Back to something Allison mentioned yesterday, was Master of the Moor really supposed to be set in the West Country? I assumed it was Yorkshire as well. They (not Colin) had, what sounded to me like west counrty accents eg his wife and his old childhood friend (forgot his name, the one who roams on the moor).

Austen - helped by television adaptations including a shot of Colin Firth in wet, semi-transparent underclothes Aargh, here we go again. Thanks to all for the MLSF updates. What a shame about the billing. Too bad you couldn't get there, Bethan, since CF's so rarely in your backyard.

Naulls was the friend. Tried researching any clues from the story but got very nowhere. Couldn't find Vangmoor (even in a database of Dartmoor locations), anything to do with "foin," Knamber, Whalby, etc. Only thing was Naulls family references in Grimsby. No Cornish names or place names.

Thank you all for the reports. (Evelyn) I have great faith in Lord Puttnam;-) (Mari) I do too. The guy was over here giving interviews and promoting it as best he could. Why do I seem to recall him not doing that? At some point were we not complaining that, when he said he was giving up his career in the movies, he did not think of mentioning MLSF, and all everybody was connecting him with was Chariots of Fire? Mind you, it may be my memory failing. But where Colin is concerned, I almost believe in conspiracy theories.

(Gi) Why do I seem to recall him not doing that? Hmm, that's what I was thinking also. I recall at least one article in which Puttnam went on (and on and on) about politics, with a teensy-weensie little mention of MLSF. (Gi) I almost believe in conspiracy theories Hee hee! Sideways reference to your *other* favorite movie star... ;-D

Most of Puttnam's interviews talk about "horrible Hollywood" (get over it) and politics and education. Usually MLSF is tossed in as "his last film." I think he likes to use the opportunity to promote this film to discuss *his* favorite topics.

Well, Puttnam did give some interviews to the papers here; a couple of them ran "sidebars" featuring him with the film's review. I also remember a brief one in Parade (nationwide Sunday newspaper supplement). He was also featured in a Roger Ebert column when the film screened at Cannes. True, they were often about his pet subjects, but at least the film's name was still getting out there. Ok, I give up, he's an opportunist.;-)

One more thought on Puttnam: producers are not generally the ones expected to be out there beating the bushes for their films. That falls to the directors/stars.;-)

Absolutely, it's not a producer's job. MEM and McDowell were the only ones to do any promoting here in the flesh or in print. Aside from Puttnam using this opportunity--his Last Hurrah--there was probably a little "if you liked Chariots of Fire, give this a shot" mentality given the Puttnam/Hudson pairing. And who didn't like Chariots of Fire?

Colin is not considered to be politically reliable!! Excuse me - utter nonsense. they said it was a typographic error..the cast list took up two lines and they'd "lost" one line Sack the stupid illiterate typist/printer/proofreader! seriously, the standard of printed media in this country makes me wanna weep. My dictionary says "Premiere= First public performance"... Preview would have been at Mr. Young's.....IMO And IMO, at Mr Young's it was a private screening; preview is an unofficial first public performance; and premiere is an official first public performance.

On Box Office success....I think, with rare exceptions, the only movies that make it here are those that appeal to the 14-23 age group. Films are often much more successful through video rentals, Sky movie channels, and screenings on terrestial TV. And this sort of success is recognised..alomg with critical success. Box office returns aren't the only measure. BTW I noticed in the opening credits to SLOW that it's a BSkyB co-production. Does this mean it will be shown on Sky? I managed to watch SLOW again ( thank goodness we have a VCR upstairs!) before returning it tomorrow. Again, I have to say I really do like it very much. It's made for video watching (and re-winding!) and infact I appreciate it more on the small than Big screen. CF has never looked more handsome...it's so nice to see him with his natural colouring. The love scenes are played with great tenderness. And there are some lovely performances from all the cast. The women are great! Good photography as well. And now I understand all the dialogue, I like the screenplay. Am I the only one to enthuse about this? I hope everyone gets a chance to see it on video soon. One little thing I noticed...he wears a wedding ring in the opening scene, but never again.

Karen (and all): Right next to the article on World Book day (and thanks for the tip) there is one on Rupert Brooke, and a new tell all book just discovered written by a former lover. It is interesting, and for those who have heard "One Before Last," that pool is mentioned in the story! Does everyone know that CF did an audio tape in 1987 where he played Brooke? I have a link on my news page. NEWS Murph

The link does not seem to work, but if you follow Karen's, you will get to the Brooke article, or try the revised one below. Murph - again I typed the wrong URL. Here is the right one: News

I am sorry to have to disagree with you - why I will not discuss on an open line. E-mail at ommin@icenet.com.au.

(Bethan) Am I the only one to enthuse about this? Perhaps enthuse is not the word, but I did thoroughly enjoy SLOW. The photography is great and the setting, simply gorgeous - that house, the view...wonderful!! The other items on view weren't half bad either? I was a little surprised (as it has a 12 rating over here) that a single F word was kept in, not that I'm prudish or anything, but I suppose apart from that there was nothing else in the film to warrant a higher rating. I don't recall ever hearing the word in films I watched at the cinema when I was 12 and no I'm not that old! Necessary? Not totally, although it did illustrate Matt's frustration with the Nimi-Fola situation and struck a chord with Nimi's brother(?) who vehemently agreed with Matthew's "f*** Fola!" outburst. The colourful supporting cast were well drawn I thought and I had no problem with the dialogue. Rev Fola's mother - LOL! There was one scene between the two mothers which was so polite and deliberate but deep down you just knew that wanted nothing else than to slap the living daylights out of each other. Brilliant! I've just seen it the once ... I'm just going to have to rent it again, and agin most probably.

ODB gets a brief mention on the Editors comment on the Letters page of this weeks Radio Times (11-17 Mar)..(that's two weeks running guys - steady). Blink and you'd miss it: "For RT readers Pride and Prejudice (the Colin Firth wet shirt version) is the yardstick by which all dramas are measured." - and it goes on about another drama of no consequence. But hey, it was a mention!

Does this perhaps explain why DQ is to be shown in the "summer months - from today's TIMES Culture TV pages about a series starting today:- "Dirty Work. BBC1 9.30pm. The low ratings achieved last year by both Life Support and Jack of Hearts has increased the pressure on the drama departments of BBC Scotland and BBC Wales, already accused of only getting high-profile commissions because the corporation feels obliged to broadcast a quota of non-English work on BBC1. So this new Welsh series is a key test of Celtic credibility: if even a show starring Neil Pearson and written by Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran flops, future series from the so-called "national regions" face the likelihood of being banished to the summer months. ....."

future series from the so-called "national regions" face the likelihood of being banished to the summer months. ....." Argh! To make all decisions on the basis on two programs' ratings? Puh-leez! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Speaking of BBC, here's its review of the SLOW video: Strapline: 'How to find the right man, at the right price' Writer Matthew Field (Colin Firth) retreats to the South of France where he's befriended by seven-year-old Sammy. Confusing the new arrival with his comic book hero Saracen, Sammy sets out to get Matthew partnered-up with his unmarried mother Nimi (Nia Long). Nimi isn't entirely unreceptive to the gruff Matthew but neither of them has reckoned to the desires of Nimi's Nigerian community that wish for her to marry the local priest. This sets the scene for some vague comic moments amongst some feather-light drama. Shot in stunning French locations with some beautiful costumes this film does have considerable charm. The young Sammy adds to the warm glow with an enthusiastic performance that won't cause tooth decay unlike some other child actors. The one niggling problem is Colin Firth who plays essentially a rather miserable old grump. Granted he's a good-looking grump but why the feisty Nimi should be drawn to him takes some persuading. This is a light and enjoyable confection that could do with a tighter scr pt but is nonetheless quite good. *** Best line: 'A Beautiful girl is like a banana leaf'

That review must have been written by a man. Hey, we feisty women are always drawn to good looking grumps . But I always wondered why Matthew was initially drawn to Nimi. That part of the story was unconvincing to me, unless he was just looking for a place to park his salami. With Lizzie, he saw someone intelligent and spunky. With Heloise, he saw someone gorgeous and talented. With Nimi, she wasn't shown in a particularly good scene when he first saw her. So I didn't see that initial attraction.

So girls, was Matthew a miserable old(!) grump? Would it make a whit of difference? (Tracy) "For RT readers Pride and Prejudice (the Colin Firth wet shirt version).. Bad, bad. ..is the yardstick by which all dramas are measured." Good, good. I'll never fault Radio Times for their promotion of P&P - love those photos they published - but this is always fodder for the Janeites when they grumble about this production. As if the whole thing was about that white shirt. I mean we did get to see him get out of the bathtub too. ;-)

It probably started off as "trying to get what you can't have."

hmm, maybe I should try that :-)

Your study materials should be old Doris Day movies. SLOW is nothing more than a rehash of that old classic Pillow Talk. ;-)

The one niggling problem is Colin Firth who plays essentially a rather miserable old grump. Granted he's a good-looking grump but why the feisty Nimi should be drawn to him takes some persuading. I cannot believe this!! "Miserable old grump"...excuse me, please, but are we watching the same video? One of Colin's major problems (and it is a problem) is that most reviews are written by men, who just can't/won't understand why he appeals to women! SLOW has really grown on me (I returned the video, reluctantly, yesterday). I liked it when I saw it in London but thought perhaps I wasn't looking at it critically enough. I mean, the Gurdian thought it was a "mess"! But the more I looked at it, the more I liked it. I love the scene when Matthew tells Nimi that he is frightened because he needs her (stammering, tears in his eyes...he does this so well) No "miserable grump" here! And the scene when Matt and Sami are playing at "being men" and Sami "shoots" Matthew and he falls backwards off the wall (just look at the look of pure delight on Sami's face!) The film has great charm, the dialogue is frequently amusing ( I liked Matt's line to Sami "Stop looking like an Oxfam poster", also the exhange when Matt asks Sami what his mother is like "She likes you to keep your room tidy" "Oh, it's that bad is it" "And to wear a uniform" "Hmmm, that'll come later". Anyway, at least the reviewer acknowledges that CF is good looking. To be honest, he is so outstandingly good looking in this, that he could be as miserable as sin and still be attractive! future series from the so-called "national regions" face the likelihood of being banished to the summer months. Reinforces my disbelief that the BBC were even thinking of showing DQ in the summer..it truly is the dumping ground for programming. So if Neil Pearson flops in the ratings, a film starring the actor voted the most popular on the history of the BBC, scripted by a BAFTA winner and directed by a two-time BAFTA winner, and already shown in Australia to good reviews will be shown in July, when everyone is on holiday or in the pub! The logic of this defeats me!!! There's a lot about DQ I don't understand...the BBC must know it's a surefire winner...why aren't they treating it as such? I'm almost subscribing to Gi's Conspiracy Theory (Bury this movie!!) :-)

Lottery movies: 9 hits, 121 misses Vanessa Thorpe and Antony Barnett examine why lottery-funded films have become a byword for mediocrity Film Unlimited Sunday March 12, 2000 The Observer It sounded promising. Colin Firth was on board. The screenplay had a glamorous location in the south of France and the central plot had all the right credentials, concerning, as it did, an imperilled and steamy love affair across the racial divide. But if you have not yet seen the feature film The Secret Laughter of Women , if you have not even heard of it, then you are not alone. Although the film won a lottery grant of just under �1m, its box-office takings last year came to only �2,832 in this country. The critics were not ecstatic either. A typical review in the British magazine Total Film commented: 'The fairytale relationship follows a disappointingly predictable trajectory, with Firth giving an anaemic performance in a poorly written role.' Government figures released to The Observer this weekend reveal that this unpleasant twist to the end of what should have been a lovely story is not an isolated incident. A lottery grant is starting to look more like a blight on a film's chances of audience popularity than a boost. Of around 130 feature films that have received backing since lottery money came on stream in 1996, only nine could be counted as any sort of success. Many have faltered at the final hurdle and are still awaiting distribution deals, others are permanently on hold. Perhaps the most painful figures to read, though, are the large sums that went into films that have won big cinema releases and which were far from enjoyable to watch: this year's critically panned Fanny and Elvis , for example, with a grant of more than �1m, or the upcoming Kevin Spacey film, Ordinary Decent Criminal , which also had a �1m grant. For many within the industry the sad roll call of silver screen turkeys is directly attributable to the cosy clique of producers and financiers who are in charge of handing out the grant money in Britain. They may well have been keen to support the constantly threatened, home grown production business with a windfall of lottery money, but in doing this, it sometimes seems large amounts have gone to projects on little more than the recommendation of a friend. Rupert Preston of the independent film distributor Metrodome sees lottery funding as a force for mediocrity, not excellence. He also thinks it is ultimately a business irrelevance. 'Good films, like our own Human Traffic , for example, tend to emerge anyway, without any lottery help. We did ask for a grant for that one but we were told, no, because it was all about nasty drugs.' Even the more obviously commercial bets, such as last spring's romantic comedy This Year's Love , can make it through without calling upon public funds. 'It is a scandal, to be frank. Many of the lottery-funded films don't even get a distributor,' says Preston. 'All this money is spent and then no one actually sees them, whether they are any good or not. A vast amount of money has been spent; I would say around �30m for each of the three big film franchises that were set up to hand out production cash, and then another �70m at least which has gone direct into production itself.' Most lottery money was granted through the film panel at the Arts Council, a now disbanded collection of appointed producers and film finance experts who inevitably had connections with several of the production deals that they funded. Colin Levanthal of Hal Productions, for example, was a member of the Arts Council panel and his film Mansfield Park , a joint BBC Films venture with US giant Miramax, was one of those to benefit. It received a �1m grant and, while it has been welcomed by some critics, it is hard to see why a commercial project with such big backers should receive public funds. Premila Hoon, the doyenne of British film finance, was also an Arts Council panelist at the time she was orchestrating the film investments made by Guinness Mahon. This company put money into two fairly successful recent projects, Wilde and Shooting Fish , which had also received big lottery grants. Both Leventhal and Hoon declared their financial interests at the time. The producer of the Oscar-nominated documentary film One Day in September , John Battsek, is critical of the funding structure. He believes it is helping from the wrong end. 'It is first-time, independent producers who have the hardest time breaking through. These are the people that would like to keep the British business going and who are prepared to risk money on a good script. The scripts themselves, to be honest, will always come through if they are good enough - although it might also be worth making grants to young screenwriters,' he said. Battsek, whose brother Daniel runs British distribution for Disney, believes the common complaint about distribution is a red herring. The wider deals, he argues, will come to the best movies. 'On the other hand, it is hellish becoming a producer unless you already have a private income. If you are in the established producers' loop you can just continue to make films without any of them being any good. I don't actually like to think about that.' Yet it may all be about to change. The British public film funding bureaucracy is on the brink of the biggest reshuffle ever. Following the report of the government advisory committee, The Bigger Picture, the various commercial and public funding routes for films are to be combined in the Film Council. Rather less radically, many of the personnel will remain the same. The body will be chaired by Alan Parker, the film director who chaired the government advisory panel, and Stewart Till, his vice chair and former business associate, will be a council member. Other council members, including Colin Leventhal, will transfer directly from the dissolved Arts Council film panel. Tina MacFarling of the Film Council emphasises that many of the strategies for organising funding may be changed, but she defended the history of the lottery awards. 'When this money was given to the industry it was not thought it should be given direct to film projects, it was just for capital projects. This was because they wanted to create some sort of continuity, so that producers did not have to keep starting afresh,' MacFarling says. The industry analyst, Mark Smith of Film Digest , sees the problem with inter-connecting deals as intractable. 'It is a very, very small industry in this country,' he says. 'The companies making these films employ four or five people only, so everyone always knows everyone else. Having said that, there is no shortage of people who want to break into it and can't.' The low takings in British cinemas for many of these films do not reflect the total income since, as Smith points out, recently British films have made more in France than they have here. The sums also exclude eventual returns for TV screenings and video and DVD sales. The low taking figures simply show that British audiences did not come to see these lottery-funded films. Why? Well, Smith suspects that the old industry rule of thumb that if you made 10 films, one of them would pay for the other nine has now been distorted. Public money has brought dodgy projects forward and lengthened the odds still further in a risky business. Smith's colleague, David Hancock, adds that across Europe, public film funding is being withdrawn. 'I would like to see the method of repaying public investors improved here, too. The problem is that they are often the last in the chain to recoup when a film goes into profit.' And of course there have been relative box-office successes. The acclaimed Mike Leigh film Topsy Turvy had a grant, so did The Ideal Husband , Hilary and Jackie , Hideous Kinky , The Land Girls and Plunkett and Macleane. There have been true critical successes too. Films like Sara Sugarman's Ratcatcher of last year, which would not have been made without the lottery. But Ratcatcher is the exception. It might have been better if The Secret Laughter of Women had remained a secret -and the same can be said for many others on the lottery funding list. Remember these? The Lost Son Starring Daniel Auteuil and Katrin Cartlidge, 1999 Summary: A French detective (Daniel Auteuil) working in London is hired to find the missing 30-year-old son of a wealthy couple. The film was based on Eric Leclere's 1995 original screenplay written in collaboration with his wife, Margaret.Directed by: Chris Menges, Scala Productions. Review: The Observer Peter Preston: 'This, in essence, is a stylish French film noir translated to NW5.' The Guardian Peter Bradshaw: 'It ends with absurd violence and melodrama, and the paedophilia motif looks tacky and dubious.' Lottery grant: �2,300,000 UK takings: �49,302 Downtime Starring Paul McGann, 1998 Summary: A thriller set in a lift shaft in rain-lashed tower block in Newcastle. While the cops and crowds congregate below, former police psychologist Rob tries to coax a potential suicide in from the ledge. Directed by Bharat Nalluri, in his second feature Review: Variety 'If the script had remained centred on the apartment block through to the end -- and developed loose ends like the roaming gang members, the character of Kevin and the poorly written Jimmy (which squanders Georgeson's talents) -- the movie could have laid claim to being a successful genre-bender. As it is, it's a game try...' Lottery grant: �768, 898 UK takings: �28,135 Amy Foster Starring Rachel Weisz and Ian McKellen, 1998 Summary: Set amid the craggy cliffs of nineteenth-century Cornwall, Amy Foster charts the passionate affair of a young servant girl (Rachel Weisz) and her immigrant lover, Yanko (Vincent Perez), the sole survivor of a capsized ship bound for America. Based on the powerful short story by Joseph Conrad, the film is an epic, passionate and tragic tale about courage, individuality and the resiliency of the human heart. Director Beeban Kidron. Writers Tim Willocks. Review: On the net 'As a love story it has all the ingredients of a girls' dorm fantasy.' Lottery grant: �2,000,000 UK takings: �48,711 Beautiful people Starring Charlotte Coleman, 1998 Summary: A manic comedy set in 1993 London as the Bosnian war rages, the film features the entwined lives of a motley assembly of Brits and Bosnian refugees. Trimark Pictures. Directed by Jasmin Dizdar, first-time director and screenwriter Review: The Observer Philip French: 'Most of the characters (particularly a Tory backbencher and a band of skinheads) border on caricature, but the picture is cleverly patterned and fairly amusing.' Lottery grant: �553,823 UK takings: �116,966 � Copyright Guardian Media Group plc. 2000

Hmmm! Shame, just when I think SLOW has a chance, it gets kicked in the teeth again. And just when it's out on video release. And how typical that they have to pick a review calling CF's performance "anaemic"...which it emphatically wasn't. Why not pick "charismatic" or "charming?" The video cover quotes a favourable comment from "Sight and Sound" magazine, which is a serious movie magazine, and should outweigh the rather crass "Total Film". Also, from what I recall, (and I do read about movie distribution) most of the films listed above had a select nationwide release, which means that they would open in 40 plus cinemas, not 2. But quoting the Box Office figures don't help SLOW, or Colin for that matter, especially in a world where bankablity matters. Doesn't enhance his leading romantic man credentials. Anyway hardly anyone reads The Observer!

Speaking of BBC, here's its review of the SLOW video: Where and when exactly was it published (broadcast?), please?

miserable old grump Miserable Old Grump...what are they talking about? The character was dismissive on occasions but never a grump.. And even if he were a little out of sorts I put it down to the fact that the hair-wranglers were not doing their job properly ;-)! That performance was anaemic was it? Mmm, heaven knows what wonders the man could do with a few iron tablets in him then.

It was published here...exactly...although it's difficult to determine a date. My guess is March 8 or 2 ;-) http://www.bbc.co.uk/movies/stayingin/top5-video.shtml

Not terribly keen that the Observer's reporter chose to make Colin the poster boy for loser Lottery-funded films. :-( its box-office takings last year came to only �2,832 That's gross? Argh, how could anything only take in that much if it played for several weeks in London and Peckham, then two weeks in Manchester and sort of one week in Bristol?

its box-office takings last year came to only �2,832 It was a full house at the BFI on Friday and even the dumpy Ritzy on Saturday night had most of the seats taken. Ya think they factored in the 300UKP Spring paid to see it at Mr. Young's?

Hardly, and they wouldn't count the London FF either.

I'm very dubious about those figures...my maths isn't very strong, but with four/five screenings daily at each of those venues, that works out at an average of one person per screening. ABC Panton Street seats about 150 for each screen, and when I saw SLOW I certainly wasn't the only one there!!! I think SLOW and Colin are the whipping boys for the Lottery Fund inadequacies, and it makes for better reading if the facts are wrong! As a matter of interest, "An Ideal Husband" and "Plunket and Macleane" each took about �1million at the Box Office, mainly over 2 weeks, before being withdrawn. But they showed at 300 screens, which works out at about �1600 per screen per week. Not an impressive average. (�3000-ish in 2weeks) They also got big ads in the press, interviews with the leading actors in glossy magazines, trailers on Sky TV and (I presume) trailers in the theatres. Unfair to compare with SLOW, which got nothing!! BTW, the secret of major movie success....look like Matthew Field, speak like Matthew Field, dress like Matthew Field....but in a Universal backed Hollywood movie that automatically shows in multiplexes worldwide and gets vigorously promoted (ie Mark Darcy in BJD!) And, bite the bullet, and do just one chat show! Can't fail! :-)

(Ann) from today's TIMES Culture TV pages about a series starting today... So this new Welsh series is a key test of Celtic credibility: if even a show starring Neil Pearson and written by Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran flops, future series from the so-called "national regions" face the likelihood of being banished to the summer months. ....." Though according to what Bethan's been told, DQ has *already* been banished to the summer months--so much for the article's reference to 'future.' Perhaps if this series does well, DQ will be moved to a more amenable time? (Bethan) And how typical that they have to pick a review calling CF's performance "anaemic" Aargh, that was my reaction as well. But I suppose the author couldn't have pushed his point (movie was a waste of money) if he praised CF's performance. Ha! We know better. It is disappointing to read about the BO take, however, accurate or not. BTW, how did TTOTS fare in the ratings? The reviews were mixed; I'm wondering if the CF-focused advertising campaign made any difference.

To All: I just checked the RV site, and there is less info there now than before, plus a new kind of boring look. Just the words. Nothing else to click on for more info. http://www.relative-values.com/ Murph

How bizarre! For about a week now, I was getting: Not Found The requested URL /rv.css was not found on this server. But I just tried to go there with IE and it went through. How very bizarre that Netscape hasn't been able to open it. See what you mean about just a title page. Could be soon.

Karen: You are right. I just tried in Netscape too, and got your message. Bad web design on the part of the company doing it. Hope you are right about the "soon" part. Murph

It looks like they're in the process of overhauling the RV site. Here's a note I got from them today (and I wonder what the "competition" prizes will be;-) ****** The waiting is nearly over! The Official Relative Values website will be launched shortly. Features of the website will include: - In-depth information on the film, the story, cast and crew. - Trailer and Video Interviews with cast and crew. - The chance to get your own @relative-values.net email address. - A Relative Values Community area. - Competitions, News and lots, lots more. You will be among the first to be informed of the launch of the Relative Values website - we hope you enjoy visiting what we have created for you! Till the launch, The Relative Values design-team.

I'll see your email and raise you one!! They wanted to know where I got my images and the trailer. Nah nah nah nah ;-)

You are one up on them, Karen. The chance to get your own @relative-values.net email address. How about: the-martini-set@relative-values.net

I didn't get one! I must be in RV limbo. Murph

Hoorah!! Videoflicks, a Canadian videoseller, will have Fever Pitch at a sell-through price ($29.99), beginning April 4. This is down from the $90 price it came out at last year and is NTSC. Does not say anything about DVD. Here's the site: http://www.videoflicks.com/VF2/9996/9996141.ihtml

Thank you very much, Karen. I found Hostages over that that site!!!

Thanks Karen and Ming, it was helpful for me too! Big grin.

Thanks for the video flicks info on FP, Karen. Time to replace my conversion. Do you or anyone else know where to order the SLOW video? I know it's still high priced, but if split among enough people . . .

SLOW can be ordered from blackstar.co.uk or choicesdirect.co.uk. There's free shipping anywhere in the world for both.

I've enthused a lot about SLOW...I guess it won't be available in the US, and so I would definitely say "Go for it" and order. It's made to watch on video....I appreciated it far more, and liked it more. CF is, IMHO, better looking in this than in anything he's done (though haven't seen DQ or MLSF). And, remembering our discussion, re kissing, he kisses his wife (CG) ve-r-y enthusiastically...heads for the chin as usual, and then actually changes direction... :-)

heads for the chin as usual, and then actually changes direction... :-) Ah, that's an improvement in his acting technique: makes you believe (and not just imagine) he actually does it... :-) As he's getting older, he's also more relaxed about these things.

(Bethan) he kisses his wife (CG) ve-r-y enthusiastically I noticed that too...very encouraging this change of style :-)

Meaning perhaps that he may one day play an old lecher convincingly? ;-)

Meaning that he's definitely showing signs of loosening up in the osculation department ;-P I don't think he could ever play the old lech convincingly, marvellous actor though he is..far too handsome, you don't see many handsome lechers about these parts :-D

Romance Classics will show Camille again, Wednesday, March 22, at 5:30pm. *cough cough*

News? I'm afraid I'm a bit of a movie anorak, which means that I actually like reading what's on where type listings, epecially independent cinemas. Anyway, I spooted that SLOW will be screened again at the Ritzy Cinema in Coldharbour Lane EC2 (I'm sure you remember it well, Evelyn!) at 3.45pm this Sunday 19 March, followed by a Q&A session(presumably with the director/producer).(Phone 0171-737 2121) But it may be the last opportunity for anyone to see it on the Big Screen...interesting that they're re-screening it...to promote the video? If you've got a moment Murph, perhaps you could put it on your news page, just incase anyone is interested? Chance for a fairly intimate chat with the producer/to ask if it will be shown anywhere else? :-)

I wouldn't be adverse to seeing CF play a moderately young lecher now. Okay, so there aren't really any handsome lechers, this would be the movies -- not reality. About CF's improved film kissing technique, maybe coasting into 40 is making him more relaxed. You're as young as you feel. Maybe he feels younger now than he did 15 years ago. Since I don't get Romance Classics, I can't get choked up "Camille" being shown.

coasting into 40 is making him more relaxed. You're as young as you feel. Well, I can only judge from personal experience... Hands up those who feel almost as young as you were 40 years ago - but not quite so silly! ;-)

(Arami) Hands up those who feel almost as young as you were 40 years ago - but not quite so silly!;-) Hey, Arami, 40 years ago I was still in my crib. But, I'm happy to report that I'm no longer incontinent, can now chew solid foods, and as this very note indicates . . .am still a *very* silly girl!;-) ;-)

LOL! (Or should that be no comment...? ;-P ;-))

Ritzy Cinema in Coldharbour Lane EC2 (I'm sure you remember it well, Evelyn!) at 3.45pm this Sunday 19 March, followed by a Q&A session(presumably with the director/producer) A Ritzy Experience is not to be missed esp with those two clowns! Awwww...wish I could make it;-)

If you've got a moment Murph, perhaps you could put it on your news page. (The SLOW screening) ******************** Thanks for the scoop, Bethan. It is on the page now. I pray this is OK to go here ---I also have the interview on my new BJD page where Fielding talks about Zellweger's casting. It is not as negative as the media made it sound. You can read it here: http://www.geocities.com/firthfan/jones/bjjones.html Murph Murph

Sorry - too many "js" in the URL. Here is the right one. http://www.geocities.com/firthfan/jones/bjones.html Murph

If you've got a moment Murph, perhaps you could put it on your news page. (The SLOW screening) ******************** Thanks for the scoop, Bethan. It is on the page now. Psst, Murph...tell 'em to bring paper for the loo

Murph, if you'll check the Bridget topic (#80), you'll see that the negative comments came from an online chat and were taken out of context. The link and all the other articles are posted there.

The BBC has announced its spring/summer programming. No Donovan Quick mentioned.On the drama front, former Ballykissangel star Dervla Kirwan heads a strong ensemble cast in Hearts and Bones - the story of a group of friends from the Midlands who are trying to make lives for themselves in London. The investigative genre is given several new twists as Robert Lindsay, last seen as Fagin in ITV's Oliver Twist, stars as a lecturer with a double life in Hawk. Ex-EastEnder Patsy Palmer lights some family fireworks in McCready and Daughter, while Paul McGann stars as Fish, a civil rights lawyer trying to balance life and work.You can read the rest of the "highlights" at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/newsid_683000/683763.stm

Thanks for this Karen! So it's not the summer (which is good in a way), but I shall defintely phone again about this. I've been told that we'd "definitely" see DQ in the summer, that it's "still being edited", and that they only have details of schedules about two weeks before transmission. Infact, the BBC schedules its programmes on a seasonal basis, and whilst they may not be able to give an exact date, they would normally be able to reliably indicate which season. DQ hasn't even been given an approximate scheduling...it's just listed as "not scheduled". I shall pursue this!! Seriously, I don't like being fobbed off with obvious lies!! I want to know why it has not been scheduled nearly six months after completion. Shall assert my rights as a tax payer (we pay for the BBC!)

nearly six months after completion More than.