This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day: BREAKFAST: Grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz skim milk LUNCH: 4oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 c steamed spinach 1 c herb tea 1 oreo cookie MID-AFTERNOON SNACK: The rest of the Oreos in the package 2 pts rocky road ice cream, nuts, cherries, and whipped cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce DINNER: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or 1 large pitcher of coke 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 snickers bars LATE EVENING NEWS: entire frozen Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) RULES FOR THIS DIET: 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do. 4. Food used for medicianl purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheesecake. 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner. 6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and are not part of one's personal fuel. E.G. Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, & Tootsie Rolls. 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage. 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. E.G. Spinach & Pistachio Ice Cream; Mushrooms and Mashed Potatoes.... 10. Chocolate is a universal color and my be substituted for any other food color. 11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass. 12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We all know how calories like to cling!!) :-) REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS! :-)

(oops, forgot about news making it's own links...)

I think I could eat an entire Sara Lee cheesecake at one sitting.

Same here! The whole day's ration pretty much equals my breakfeast. And I can't get rid of what I gained in Africa this year. Damn my mother! And I have summer school in exactly 3 weeks from now, people? I CAN'T go there clever and well-prepared if I'm not GORGEOUS as well! What'll I doo????? Oh, bugger it, I'll just sit at the back of the class, and wear my camouflage pants so no-one will see me....

What dya mean, you're already gorgeous.

As if you'd know. And especially not with the double chin forming on my ar$e!

(that's a great visual, btw)

Ree, honey, whoever is putting their double chins on your backside, tell them to quit it!!! The're ruining the view!

But I don't LIKE to criticize myself! I simply don't have the heart!

and if the double chin is there, where does that put the... nevermind...

where the bookmark is, of course

Of course!

In Netscape??! (hmmm...never noticed...)

A DIET PRAYER Lord, My soul is ripped with riot incited by my wicked diet. "We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man! and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain! but at my present weight, I'll need a crane. So grant me strength, that I may not fall into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated, that my soul may be poly unsaturated And show me the light, that I may bear witness to the President's Council on Physical Fitness. And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter, for the road to Hell is spread with butter. And cream is cursed; and cake is awful; and Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone; the Devil is in each slice of baloney, Beelzebub is a chocolate drop, and Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice but, cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees, deliver me from jujubees. And when my days of trial are done, and my war with malted milk is won, Let me stand with Heavenly throng, In a shining robe--size 30 long. I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me, the virtues of lettuce and celery. If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, of pasta a la Milannaise potatoes a la Lyonnaise and crisp-fried chicken from the South. Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.

*laugh*

LOL!!! Great stuff, Marcia!

My appetite is my shepherd My appetite is my shepherd, I always want. It maketh me sit down and stuff myself. It leadeth me to my refrigerator repeatedly, Sometimes during the night. It leadeth me in the path of Burger King for a Whopper. It destroyeth my shape. Yea, though I knoweth I gaineth, I will not stop eating, For the food tasteth so good. The ice cream and the cookies, they comfort me. When the table is spread before me, it exciteth me. For I knoweth that I sooneth shall dig in. As I filleth my plate continuously, My clothes runneth smaller. Surely bulges and pudgies shall follow me All the days of my life. And I shall be "pleasingly plump" forever.

New Cancer Report Removes Saccharin, Adds Alcohol WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The latest U.S. government report on what causes cancer, issued on Monday, removed saccharin from the list of suspected carcinogens, but added 14 substances, including second-hand tobacco smoke and alcohol, as known causes. It also added sunshine and sunlamps, silica dust and the breast-cancer drug tamoxifen although the report noted that while cancer drugs may increase the incidence of other cancers, the benefits often outweigh the risks. The National Institute for Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS), which issued the bi-annual report, said it removed saccharin as a potential cancer-causing agent because tests that showed it caused tumors in rats did not apply to humans. It had been listed since 1981. ``Two decades ago, when saccharin was shown to produce bladder tumors in rats, it was a prudent, protective step to consider the sweetener to be a likely human carcinogen,'' NIEHS director Dr. Kenneth Olden said in a statement. ``Studies now indicate that the rat bladder tumors arise from mechanisms that are not relevant to the human situation.'' He also said humans had used saccharin for decades without increasing rates of cancer. Saccharin, sold since 1900, is the oldest sugar substitute on the market. But the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) tried to ban it in 1977 when it was found to cause cancer in rats. The U.S. public, faced with the loss of diet sodas, rebelled and Congress blocked the action. Products containing saccharin now carry a warning label instead. When aspartame became available in 1981, it quickly dominated the artificial sweetener market, in part because of superior flavor and in part because of the cancer worries. The NIEHS also removed ethyl acrylate, a substance used in making latex paints and textiles, from the list. Both were removed at the request of industry groups. The report listed 218 substances known or suspected to cause cancer in people. The NIEHS said 14 had either been upgraded to the ``known'' category or added to the list. Second-hand smoke topped the upgraded list. The report, published on the Internet at http://ehis.niehs.nih.gov/roc/toc9.html, cited reports that showed second-hand smoke can cause lung cancer, as well as studies showing that nonsmoking wives and co-workers of smokers have higher rates of lung cancer. Tobacco smoke was also listed as a known cause. ``Separate chemicals identified in tobacco smoke were already listed as carcinogens in the report,'' it said. The new listing came after 1996 revisions in the review process. Smokeless tobacco, including chewing tobacco and snuff, were listed, as well as consumption of alcohol, too much sun and the use of tanning beds or sun lamps. Alcohol has long been associated with cancers of the mouth, pharynx, larynx, and esophagus, and there may be a link with liver and breast cancer. Chewing tobacco and snuff can cause cancer wherever they contact the mouth or nose. Other substances listed included: Crystalline silica dust small enough to breathe, a byproduct of mining Strong inorganic acid mists containing sulfuric acid, produced in the manufacture of alcohol, lead batteries, phosphate fertilizers, soap and detergents, synthetic ethanol, and in pickling and other acid treatments of metals Dyes metabolized to benzidine 1,3-Butadiene, used to make synthetic rubber Cadmium, used in batteries, coating and plating, plastic and synthetic products and alloy Ethylene oxide, used to make other chemicals and to sterilize medical devices Tamoxifen ``There has been concern expressed that the listing of tamoxifen ... could raise concerns among patients regarding its use for cancer treatment or prevention,'' the report said. It pointed out that benefits can outweigh the risks. Tamoxifen, made under the name Nolvadex by AstraZeneca, can increase the risk of endometrial, or uterine, cancer. But endometrial cancer is so rare that doctors say the higher risk is small. Tamoxifen is the first drug to be shown to prevent breast cancer in some women at high risk. Substances added to the ``reasonably anticipated to be human carcinogens'' list include diesel exhaust particulates, isoprene one of the components of rubber which is also naturally emitted by plants chloroprene, phenolphthalein -- used in some laxatives tetrafluoroethylene and trichloroethylene.

Small Changes Mean a Lot Do you classify yourself as a "junk food junkie?" For health or weight reasons do you now think you're ready or you need to make some dietary changes? If you do, then it might be important for you to start slowly and gradually shift into a healthier lifestyle. Fast food may have been your main menu. Try to find a fruit or juice you like and add it to your scaled down combo meal. Experiment with vegetables and maybe start opting for Chef or Chicken salads. Go easy on the dressings. Take each day one at a time so you can still enjoy your food, but make it healthy, too. Go to the food pyramid. Have fun creating your new lifestyle eating patterns by using guidelines from the pyramid. It may take a while, but you can go from "junk food" to "great food" and a better, healthier you.

Very good advice.

Indeed! I posted an interesting recipe in British Cooking which would suit the vegitarian topic just as well. You might want to check it out...

Online Help For Dieters There are several new Web sites that are available to dieters and anyone interested in healthy cooking and eating. The Cook's Thesaurus provides a thesaurus of cooking terms and hints. You'll find information on all types of foods, including low-fat and low-calorie alternatives. From this site, you can link to another site offered by Ohio State University. The topic is "Preparing Healthy Foods: How to modify a recipe." You can find ways to enjoy your favorite recipes with simple modifications and substitutions. Click here to visit The Cook's Thesaurus http://www.switcheroo.com

Orange Gelatin Delite Here is a low-cal dessert that's great to serve anytime. 2 small pkgs. sugar-free orange Jell-O 2 cups boiling water, mix well till Jell-O is dissolved 6 oz. can of frozen orange juice concentrate 1 small can of mandarin oranges 1 small can of crushed pineapple Combine all ingredients and chill until set. Topping (apply after Jell-O mixture is set) 1 pkg. lemon instant pudding (sugar-free if you can find) 1 pkg. Dream Whip 2 cups skim milk Whip until fluffy and spread over cold Jell-O before serving.

WHAT IS THE BRAT DIET? A diet of bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast that's often prescribed for infants with diarrhea.

Varying Your Diet It's important to eat a variety of foods every day. Fad diets fail because no one food or group of foods can provide all the nutrients you need. For example, cheese has vitamin B6 while oranges have vitamin C. Your body needs both. Supplements can help if you really need them, but they are not as good as the real food, and it can be dangerous to self-prescribe even vitamins. Let your doctor tell you what you need. To get a daily balance of foods that provide most of your nutritional needs, go to the food pyramid and let it be your guide.

Spaghetti Sauce Without Fat A new way to get the creamy taste of homemade pasta sauce without the fat is to make it with chicken broth in place of oil. Start with tomato paste and cook in a skillet over medium heat until some of the liquid cooks down and it turns dark red. Next, add a can of chicken broth in a slow stream while constantly whisking until it boils. Simmer until mixture is reduced to about half. This will take five to ten minutes. At the simmering stage, you can add your favorite Italian seasonings such as garlic, onions, herbs, etc. Serve over pastas, meats, salads, and vegetables.

Back on to high protein, low carbohydrate diet again. Lost 4lbs this week. Feel much better for it and blood sugar behaves.

Excellent news! I'm on a see-food diet - we all know abut that one...!

Grin