~terry
Thu, Jan 17, 2002 (22:21)
seed
APPLETON, WI�The non-macho game of table tennis, popularly known as "ping-pong" for the bouncy little sound the ball makes, has somehow elicited tough-guy posturing and braggadocio from Appleton resident Tim Bergkamp, sources close to the 27-year-old revealed Monday.
Above: Self-described "ping-pong ninja" Tim Bergkamp taunts his opponent during a match at Appleton-area fun center B.Z. Bonkers.
"I don't know what the deal is," said Marty Zielke, a coworker of Bergkamp's at an Appleton-area Target, "but ever since we got that ping-pong table in the break room, Tim's been acting like he's Macho Man Randy Savage or something."
The table, brought in by fellow Target sales associate Jason Hersh after he decided to remove it from his basement rec room, has "brought out the competitive animal" in the mild-mannered Bergkamp.
"You should see him when he gets going. You'd think ping-pong was some kind of ESPN2 extreme sport," Hersh said. "He's all like, 'Time for a serious ass-kicking, Jason. Think you can take it when I bring the hammer down on you? Think you can handle the humiliation of another devastating defeat at the hands of the master?' Then, whenever he scores a point, he shouts, 'Boo-Ya!' and does this gloating victory dance, strutting back and forth and waving his arms in the air. I mean, it's ping-pong, for Christ's sake."
~terry
Thu, Jan 17, 2002 (22:28)
#1
Last week, Bergkamp also began construction on "Solo Pong Station 3000," a makeshift half-table placed against a rebounding wall in his garage. When completed, the structure will enable him to play ping-pong even when alone.
"When I'm mano a mano on Pong Station 3000, that's when I'll face my worthiest adversary of all: me," Bergkamp said. "It's the proverbial irresistible force going head-to-head with the immovable object."
Though sometimes irritated, coworkers say Bergkamp's ping-pong-fueled bravado is mostly harmless.
"I'd never get that excited about ping-pong, but if that's what gets his rocks off, more power to him, I guess," said Karl Hiestand, Bergkamp's immediate supervisor. "I'll play him every now and again, usually when he asks if I'm 'recovered enough from [my] last beatdown for a rematch.' In a way, it's kind of cute how he talks all tough about it. It doesn't make sense, but it's sort of funny, I suppose."
When told of his supervisor's remarks, Bergkamp lifted his ping-pong paddle over his head in a two-fisted stance and said, "None, not even the Karl-Tron himself, can withstand the terrifying fury unleashed by Tim Bergkamp, a.k.a. King Pong."
Added Bergkamp: "There can be only one."
http://www.theonion.com/onion3646/ping_pong_playing_man.html
~terry
Thu, Jan 17, 2002 (22:29)
#2
1. The Table
1.1 The table shall be in surface rectangular, 274 cm. (9 ft.) in length, 152.5 cm. (5 ft.) in width. It shall be supported so that its upper surface, termed the playing surface, shall lie in a horizontal plane 76 cm. (2 ft. 6 in.) above the floor.
1.2 It shall be made of any material and shall yield a uniform bounce of about 23 cm. (8 3/4 in.) when a standard ball is dropped from a height of 30 cm. (12 in.) above the surface.
1.3 The playing surface shall be dark colored and matt, with a white line 2 cm. (3/4 inch) wide along each edge.
1.3.1 The lines along the 152.5 cm. (5 ft.) edges or ends shall be termed end lines, and they shall be regarded as extending indefinitely in both directions.
1.3.2 The lines along the 274 cm. (9 ft.) edges or sides shall be termed side lines.
1.4 For doubles, the playing surface shall be divided into halves by a white line 3 mm. (1/8 in.) wide, running parallel with the side lines, termed the center line. Permanent marking of the center line shall not invalidate the table for singles play. The center line shall be regarded as part of each right half court.
1.5 The playing surface shall be considered to include the top edges of the table, but not the sides of the table top below the edge.
http://www.usatt.org/rules/index.shtml