marcia, boot msn!!!

Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that. ---Rhodes Scholar Bill Clinton

I did Sweetie...no one there!!! *sniff*

John Randolph, a vitriolic legislator from Virginia in the early decades of the American nation, was well known to be impotent. Few were the men, however, who dared cross him, and the House held its breath when a member, in the heat of debate, made some slanting reference to Randolph's lack of sexual prowess. Randolph rose to his feet and said coldly, "Sir, you pride yourself on an ability in which any ignorant barbarian is your equal and any jackass immeasurably your superior."

+---------------- Bizarre Political Insults ----------------+ "He makes George Bush seem like a personality" - Jackie Mason on John Major. "He is a sheep in sheep's clothing" - Winston Churchill on Clement Attlee. "Winston, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if I were your husband, I would drink it." - A conversation between Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill. "He could not see a belt without hitting below it." - Margot Asquith on David Lloyd George. "Richard Nixon impeached himself. He gave us Gerald Ford as his revenge." - U.S. politician Bella Abzug on Tricky Dickie. "Nixon's motto was, 'If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." - U.S. writer Norman Cousins. "Gerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the same time." - former U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson. "He is not only a bore, but he bores England." - Malcom Muggeridge on Anthony Eden. "I wouldn't say she is open-minded on the Middle East, so much as empty-headed. She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus." - Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Hatcher. "Harry Truman proves that old adage that any man can become President of the United States." - U.S. politician Norman Thomas. "A shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Harold Wilson on Edward Heath.

(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. (2) Great generals are forewarned. (3) Forewarned is forearmed. (4) Four is an even number. (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. (6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.

"A hangover is the wrath of grapes" ~ Anonymous

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.'" ~ Tommy Cooper "You get a lot of tension? You get a lot of headaches? I do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children" ~ Rosanne

We should be thankful for the good things we have and, also, for the bad things we don't have. -Anon

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. ~ Charles Kuralt It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. ~Muhammad Ali, 1977 quoted in New York Times

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula a postero. [Sieze the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow.] - Horace All hate is self hate. - David O. Mckay New music is old music played twice as fast and half as well. - James Douglass Morrison We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course powerful muscles, but no personality. - Albert Einstein (03/14/1879-1955) "Important if true". - inscription that Kinglake wanted on all churches If more people really pondered how much is enough in their lives, perhaps there would be a lot more truly satisfied folks in this world. - Linda S. Anderson There is one categorical imperative: Act so that every action of yours should be capable of becoming a universal rule of action for all men. - Immanuel Kant

I came--though the child of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents--to a deep religiousness, which, however, reached an abrupt end at the age of twelve. Through the reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic orgy of free thinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression. Mistrust of every kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude toward the convictions that were alive in any specific social environment -- an attitude that has never again left me. - Albert Einstein (03/14/1879-1955)

"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." ~ Katherin Whitehorn

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. -Henry Kissinger

"Life is a joke that has just begun." ~ Unknown "Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time." ~ Steven Wright "I got an "A" in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist." ~ Judy Tenuta

"He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of dogs barking through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abyss of pish and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash." - Henry Mencken, on Warren G. Harding

"Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. THose who think they have reached their goal, have missed it. Those who think they are saints, are demons. An important part of the spiritual life is to keep longing, waiting, hoping, expecting." - Henri Nouwen

Drug Addiction, n. A popular method of dealing with day-to-day living in the United States. ---Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. ---Billy Wilder

I will not wish thee riches nor the glow of greatness, But that wherever thou go Some weary heart shall gladden at thy smile, Or shadowed life know sunshine for a while. And so thy path shall be a track of light, Like angels' footsteps passing through the night. --words on a church wall in Upwaltham, England

"If you would not be forgotten, As soon as you are dead and rotten, Either write things worth the reading, Or do things worth the writing." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. Herbert Henry Asquith (1852 - 1928) Wagner's music is better than it sounds. Bill Nye (1850 - 1896), quoted in Mark Twain's Autobiography, 1924 - More quotations on: [Music] I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents. Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed. Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)