Is 'holding the bag' the equivalent of 'getting stiffed'???

What fun! LOL, Leslie! Holding the bag more like spanking the monkey. Didn't we do that one? ;-)

I leave for a while and all this baggage shows up! GAWD! LOL! Anyway, I've been gone for donkey's years so don't have much of a vote on the theme, but I do believe that a baggage check is in order (and I'm more than happy to help with that...of course all bags have to be weighed to see if they fall into the allowed weight limit...if not there will be an extra charge and the dogs will be brought in) (Ada) a bag in hand is worth two in the bush ROTFL...oh....MY! Really? I dunno about that.... naughty naughty....:-P

Welcome back, Tress. My, how I've missed the spice you added to this place! I'm happy to inspect the bags but not sure if I want to be doing any sniffing ;-))

(Leslie) I'm happy to inspect the bags but not sure if I want to be doing any sniffing :-) LOL! And I was thinking the sniffing might just be the best part! Perhaps you would like to do the strip search and check any cavities that need....well....checking.... Here...you may need these! :-D I love that Colin now comes with extra baggage (he's learning to accessorize and that is soooo important!).

Tress! You're Back! Yippee! If Leslie gets to inspect, can I volunteer for baggage handling? ;-)

Delurking to say "Welcome back, Tress!" I (oui oui) ;-) have missed you.

(Tress) Here...you may need these! :-D Do they come in ribbed for added pleasure? ;-) Welcome back, Tress! Subject matter like this is bound to bring the bag ladies out of the woodwork.

I like that one... the extra baggage. ;-) Such as LD, being known THE Mr. Darcy, making kid's movies, bad directors, pounds of free trade coffee...

Welcome back, Tress! A little dip into the blue zone and you're right back in the swing of things. LOL!

(Tress)I love that Colin now comes with extra baggage (he's learning to accessorize and that is soooo important!). I am new since you've been away but wanted to say Hi Tress and welcome back :-) I'm just wondering if Colin will exceed his Baggage weight limit? could be "tricky, verrryyyyy tricky" ;-)

Good timing, Tress...welcome back!! Somehow I think this theme may be a forte of yours? ;-D

(Moon)...making kid's movies... For some reason, nursery rhymes keep popping into my head.......... "Yes sir, yes sir! THREE bags FULL" (admittedly, emphasis is mine) And in this instance, I wouldn't mind being the one left holding the bag. In fact, I volunteer! OK - I know!- get in line! ;-))) Welcome back, Tress! You were missed!

As Dave Letterman says every Friday (?) night, "It's time to close up the CBS mailbag." ;-) I'd the theme is pretty well set, but I don't want you guys to use up everything beforehand. Save it for the 10th. If there are any suggestions on wordind/rewording the theme from "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag"--or maybe it should be "Colin's Got a Brand New Bag"--let's hear them. Otherwise, save your material. They're gems.

"Colin's Got a Brand New Bag" New bag, new view (ours really) on sex scenes in his films, new type of film (sword and sandal/action).... this party could really be hoppin' full of ideas and fun. Excellent everyone!

(Dorine) "Colin's Got a Brand New Bag" Was the final decision for the party theme?

The party will begin at midnight British Daylight Time (not GMT), on Saturday, Sapt 10. Set your clocks or consult the chronometric gurus. ;-)

Here's a link to know what time it is around the world (including London): http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/

ooohhhhh, lisa, i can't wait ! i can't wait !

Just in case anybody feels the itch to jump the gun, I will cut off the offending hand. ;-) I've got the opener and will post when the party starts.

Well, ladies, the gauntlet is thrown and there is no recourse! Can't wait, Boss.

I knew that I would, now, because I�m here to get this party jumping! The self-proclaimed Miserable Old Bastard is 45 today so it�s a cause for celebration and for getting down. And I hear the Ladies of Drool (or the Fellowship of the Firth) know how to get down. So grab your keyboard (if nothing better is within reach) and send the youngins away for the day. This place could easily get slapped with an NC-17 today. Say it loud, you�re adult and proud. *hey hey hey hey* Come here, sister! Colin�s in the swing. You know he ain�t too hip now But he ain�t no drag cause... Colin�s Got a Brand New Bag! Hey look, ladies, he's doing the Jerk.... He's doing the Fly Don't play him cheap 'cause you know he ain't shy He's doing the Monkey, the Mashed Potatoes, the Bacon. See you later alligator.

Peggy, you've got some font issues (color, type and size). Am deleting though is terribly funny.

"THAT AIN'T NO DOGGY BAG!" (or How Bag Idioms Develop) Colin, a self-proclaimed miserable old b*****d, felt idleness was no longer his bag and decided to put his family jewels in an honest-to- goodness goodie bag and seek work. On the road, he met a woman from Drool, who was bagging (keepsake) game. Colin greeted her and said, "I see you've brown bagged it. Can I look inside your mixed bag?" The woman replied, "Sure, but don't let the cat out of the bag." "Now," grinned the woman, "it's only fair for you to pull something out of the bag you have," and she reached quickly toward his bag. "Hey, that's not a grab bag, lady!" said Colin, laughing. "Well, Colin, I'm just curious since it definitely looks like a three bagger to me! Is it a bag of tricks or treats?" quipped the woman. "Bag it, lady. I don't have to, but, just to be polite, I'll show you what's in the bag." And, so saying, Colin removed his family jewels and handed the now empty bag to the woman. "Oh, my!" gasped the woman. "No need to pack your bag ever again, as far as I'm concerned! Can I have the bag, boy, as a keepsake?" "Well, why not?" replied Colin as he went off to finally find some work. MORAL: SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO BE LEFT HOLDING THE BAG THAN NOT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLIN! MAY ALL YOUR HOPES AND WISHES BEIN THE BAG! Thanks to firth.com., firthissimo, friends of firth, et.al.

Colin,there are many many bags in this world;pink bags material bags and his and hers bags but there's only one bag that I would like to delve into and thats YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday Colin

You're the best :-)) Hey!! Colin, lets see in your 'Goody bag'!! Noooooo,not that bag Colin! stop messing around and 'acting' the innocent OK, I can see you need a visual aid to help jog your memory **cough, cough** 'THE BAG' which I'm referring to looks a little like this!!

Whoops meant to say thanks to Firthissimo and Karen what a wonderful start...have a great party ladies!!

(Karen)I will cut off the offending hand. Oh, whew, as long as you don't cut off the offending member;-)

(Linda) Oh, whew, as long as you don't cut off the offending member;-) And since hands and members can be raised, please keep a clear head and keen eyes. ;-) {all puns intended :-)]

Meant to say Thanks to Firth.com and underwear site (the name of which quite escapes me now ;-)) Great Party love all the posts, have wine beside me and can stay a while longer :-)) Karen those lips on Colin are AFG, can they stay there after the party ;-)

Oooh, Lisa!! That's brilliant. I have a drawer full of Ziplocs. To think...

Excellent so far, and I should be in bed however I couldn't wait to give Colin his present. It's not very big,but it was very hard to come by.I only hope he can see it.

The cat's out of the bag! Time for another birthday, Colin. But first....for the bag lady wannabes 1. Colin's Got a Brand New Bag, but I don't want any confusion about who's your 'Papa' (any similarities are purely intentional). 2. In this case Colin can be distinguished by the earring. 3. Ladies, no special equipment is necessary- for the fastidious or for the more casual observers 4. I'm not talking about bags like these: 5. The need for a bag is obvious: 6. Not Santa's bag, though the Santa with the bag is the birthday boy. 7. Hold On! This party may be a hair-raising experience. Happy 45th Birthday, Colin

OK not as pretty, but the 'thought' is still there!

Wow Lisa,Amm loving that AFG naked vision of Colin, Yowza ;-) great ziploc WTTL pic too.Being from the UK have never seen or heard of ziploc, are they that colour or have you colour in to retain Colins modesty ;-)

Much better, Peggy. That hair-raising one is great. Scary, but great! Sandwich sized Ziplocs. *snort* I missed it the first time.

Need to decenter and end those font tags (still blue and still big. Am deleting today and won't put up a message for each. Careful with your tags, ladies.

Damn and blast, I think I forgot to close the font color...

closing all tags first A silky new bag in your favorite color with complementary measuring tape Or A lock box for the family jewels

...and better late than never, here is the lock box It's actually called a locking rubber penis prison

ROTF lisa ! but come on, **ziplok** ??? nononono ! it would have a fatty suit effect on the poor guy's anatomy ! we don't want him to lose wheight in this department now do we ?

Eeeeuuuuuwww! That's just too....words fail me. Who come's up with these inventions?

Happy 45th Colin! No need to worry that you are losing your youthful physique. There's no extra flab on those bones! Some might say though that you are too thin, almost a bag of bones. Speaking of bones ..... You should know there will be ladies eagerly watching WTTL just to see if there is a bone in a certain bag ;-)) Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, enjoy your day! With thanks to Colin Firth Online

LOL, Linda--what kind of site did you have to visit to find that last pic? I hope you deleted your cookies and have good spyware. ;-) (Linda) It's actually called a locking rubber penis prison The NC-17 version of rubber baby buggy bumppers! ;-) BTW, it's a shame Hefty doesn't make sandwich bags. ;-)

Leeenda...how can anyone top that!!!.....LOL.

(Lisa) BTW, it's a shame Hefty doesn't make sandwich bags. ;-) If reports are true, shouldn't Colin be checking into the gallon sized? ;-)

an infomercial brought to you by CRYPTIC QUOTATIONS Inc. delighting drooleuses since 2003 hello hello hello,my sweet ladies of drool. remember us ? too bad, but you know what ? we almost forgot about you just as well. last year, our animators got themselves lost in a swamp in south america: we found most of them running around insanely with mud in their hair, smoking strange exotic ciggies and shouting 'the char monkey got me!' or some other nonsense... Youngsters today, pah! they really need a good war, korea style, i'm telling you. anyway, enough about me. You will probably enjoy the fact that we went back to our basics, that is creative graphic designing for outstanding commercial output (that's infomercials for the thickest of you). And well, we had quite an interesting request for Mr. F's birthday, who seems to develop an interesting tendency these days to utter the word "vomit" one or twice in any normal piece of conversation... hmmm.... this, plus the "bag your face (or some other parts), colin" theme going on here at drool, well, we found a fine way to make a quick buck and wish the man a happy 45th birthday with a few sensible prezzies (but the profits go first, i'm sorry Mr. F). We've decided to design barf bags!!!!! think about it: they always come in handy for a frequent traveler like you Mr. F., and they can always double-up as a private parts pouch (still unused ones, that is). brilliant, innit ? ok, here's a nice patchwork of our latest production : as you can see, tasty as hell. we are particularly proud of the puking deer motif (but that's another story and another client). anyway, back to Mr. F : we would like to present you with our first model, aware as we are of the furious waters you've been floating on this year : and how about this one: we tested it in london for the premiere of a movie you might not want to remember : but then, these bags can also double up as a means of reaffirming your territory, you know, telling other actors that this area is well covered already by your Broad Highness. Check out this one : Yeah. but there's been a lot of false starts this year, things expected that did not happen, a sort of dead wait if you want... Here's a company you won't fly soon, so we had to cancel this model unfortunately: But the future holds much in store, and there's one company you are sure to fly these days where this little model will be much much needed: Well, that's all for now. we'll be back after a short beer break, thank yew, thank yew, and don't forget : "you can puke in style with cryptic" (we accept visa & mastercard)

Brava, Sophie! LOL!!! Red Finger Nails Airlines....*snort*

LOL! Loved the Working Title barf bag. Can I buy them by the gross? ;-) Air Turkey and Air Rom-Com too. But you saved the best for last: Red Finger Nails Airlines. So glad Cryptic is back from the jungles but hasn't stopped smoking those strange ciggies.

Happy Birthday, Colin! Hoping that your next year is filled with good health and happiness! Also, make MORE movies that require a "bag", please!

LOLOLOL, ladies! Here I was shopping for the perfect bag... I will have to take all of mine back. Linda, until today I never knew you. ;-) Am I the only one dipping huevos in the Mojitos? Vince sure knows how to spike the punch. :-) I'm ready to get naked...

LOL, Sophie, love Red Finger Nails Airline's bag, too. And the WT bag. Will come in handy for the new P&P!

Lisa, my favorite pirate showed up for the party! Thank you. :-) Sophie, if one flies Red Finger Nails, does one have to actually wear nail polish? ;-)

*tum-dee-da-da-dee-tum!* and CRYPTIC is back after its beer break Hello, hello again, back to our wonderful world of sick bags! No, please, no hugs. And make sure those credit cards are valid, thank you. Well, we left you with a model from red fingernails airlines, but you might also need one of those, because some people are questioning you ability to make such erratic carreer changes within the same year ! It looks like you change your mind faster than you can spell "hemorroids", my boy, so you'd better chill out, pop a tuinal and clutch one of these bags here in case of an emergency: Also this year, you've experienced yet again a barrage of nasty comments in the british press. Tskkk, it seems these guys are forever jealous. I'm sorry ? Did you say "just bored with me"? Now come on, you sound like someone on the verge of depression, oh well that certainly explains that terrible, terrible interview you gave to NOW recently... No, no, nothing, nothing. Get yourself another drink buddy. Here's a way to get even, my dear friend, and at no extra charge, we can even give you the ribbon to tie this little thing with: But then, maybe you think you definitely need a career move. Can't blame you here, my friend. Then it's time to switch companies, that's the best way to do it: look what good it did to your dear dear friend hugh's stomach & complexion (it didn't show much on his mugshots though): There's also a long time favorite of yours: escapism to exotic locales. But oh no ! look at the commercial we printed at the bottom of the bag: don't take it too seriously, you still need to work to feed the charmonkey (so to speak) ! : Also, be careful not to take a look at the commercial printed at the bottom after you've used the bag. Oops. Well, there goes my good suit. And finally, our best design for last, if you choose virtual escapism from all this movie mayhem, please, please remember to pack one of these: With all our hearts here at Cryptic, we wish you, M. F, a very happy birthday and, that goes without saying, a quick recovery.

Sophie, Loved all the bags, but what a nice Drool surprise at the end! Having a great time so far Ladies, am looking forward to a fun 24 hours here.

Wonderful, Sophie!

Oooooh! good gratious! lisa, your psyche cocktails are getting to my head time to hit the bag... errrr, the sack, sorry... it's 4H30 already and i need my beauty sleep: i'll catch up with you later for more goodies and will have time to read all the posts then hopefully ! keep going !

I'VE GOT A BRAND NEW BAG YES, I DO ACTUALLY. I'M NOT ESPECIALLY VAIN THOUGH....THERE'S AN INEVITABILITY TO THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF - YOU ARE YOUR OWN RAW MATERIAL AND I CONSIDER IT TO BE A HUGE PART OF MYSELF. BUT I CAN WALK PAST A MIRROR WITHOUT LOOKING AT MYSELF. COLIN ON YOUR 45TH! THANKS TO FIRTH.COM

Well, Colin, another birthday has rolled around, and I must say you certainly are aging very well, indeed. No one could ever call YOU a saggy baggy! So, in honor of your very special day, I shall pour you a glass of champagne And send you a great big Birthday Kiss Plus, as an extra birthday treat, I have baked a very "special" cake, created just for the man who's got it ALL in the bag! So tell me, Colin - what do you think of your cake?

Hollywood Airlines, an Equal Opportunity Employer (sort of) ROTF!! But I really love the one for the UK critics. Brilliant! Get your beauty sleep, Sophie, and I'm looking forward to more fodder from the Cryptic Clan. [BTW, no need to thank firth.com]

Happy 45th Birthday, Colin! What is all this talk about your new bag? Is it Bacon related? Because... I don't usually do breakfast, but I've made an exception this morning for you and cooked up your latest favourite (ain't that the Truth) Now if you're hungry for just a little more fun, well, I'm ready to drop my bag and don't even think about a m�nage � trois! :-D T'is true I have never been this naughty at your past bashes, but where does the truth lie? Am I naughty or nice? So I had my fortune told by and she set me on the path of no return in the firth place. Enjoy your day!

Oh my! What a great start Moon. Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring!

Interesting what brings Beedee out of the woodwork. ;-)

Yowsa, Moon, I see the white gloves came off! ;-) Sophie, LOL at the next installment from Cryptic. And the snoozing Colin is wonderful, too. BTW, Peggy, loved your separated at birth segment with James B. and YKNW. And Kathryn, I enjoyed your illustrated discourse on bags. :-)

Kathryn - I just love a good story! Sue - nice "bag"! Lovely neutral color - goes with everything or "nothing"! Lisa - Ziploc sandwich bags - priceless! (LisaJH) Look for our coupon in Sunday's paper. LOL! Nice touch! ;-) Peggy - you outdid yourself with the "hair-raising experience"! Too funny ;-) (lindak)It's actually called a locking rubber penis prison And for some odd reason, it vaguely reminds me of a miniature boxing glove!

(Karen) Interesting what brings Beedee out of the woodwork. ;-) Don't you mean woodywork? ;-P

Just checking in to the party after a nights sleep. (Linda)It's actually called a locking rubber penis prison OMG Linda! What can i say??? I trust you were behind a locked door when sorting that picture out. Will never be able to look at a padlock or black bin bag again in the same way! Great! Moon- was going to have a cooked breakfast in Colin's honour instead of the usual cornflakes but somehow the appeal has gone out of the window. Love the size of the sausage though much better than my chipolatas! Sophie - Just love that animated snoring Colin. Hate snoring normally but for Colin I would make a rather large exception(especially if 'the bag' was under the sheets!) and to all the other ladies and their works of art....ROLFLOL..!!!!!!!

(lindak)It's actually called a locking rubber penis prison (maureen)And for some odd reason, it vaguely reminds me of a miniature boxing glove! thought of a punching ball (ouch!) myself, but the boxing glove is more like it ! Hey Moon ! is that a picture of you in your post ? do you perform that stunt on a daaily basis ? Is that why they call you moon then ? what was bee's 1272 post about ? i can't see it on my mac...

Good Morning/Afternoon Birthday Boy "What alot of cards", you are a popular guy after your tumbledown night, didn't think you would be wanting a 'bacon sandwich' this morning so have brought you some Fair Trade coffee and some Fair Trade Chocolate.In this day and age 'one' is encouraged to recycle so I went to great lengths to find you some Chocolate neatly 'bagged' in a handy sized pouch! Enjoy your day Colin and thank you for all the great films and fun you bring to my world!!

Ladies, this is wonderful Sophie, I'm loving those barf bags- (Moon)Linda, until today I never knew you. ;-) LOL, you can imagine the junk mail I'm getting this morning;-) What? You guys don't regularly google penis prisons? Sheesh.

Am loving all the fantastic Birthday posts. Ribs are aching from laughing :-)) Jenny - LOL,The pink bag you posted. I presume that 'size matters' ;-) Felicity - LOL, 'Red Hot' is right ;-) Kathryn - LOL, Your statue is a real bust ;-) Linda - ROFLOLOMA at the tape measure mag ;-) and the other 'bag of modesty' is scary, talk about packing a punch ;-) Maureen - Obviously you have great skills with the 'pipping bag'. Great AFG pic of Colin,dimples and all :-) Moon - Not sure that I will ever keep a straight face again when sitting down to a cooked breakfast;-) Peggy - I have a question, the pic of Colin with the hooped earing in his left ear - do you know what year that pic was taken? Love that pic :-) the binnoculars are waay too funny, LOLOL Soph - Love the snoring pic. One of my Fav pix ;-) Lisa - Love the graphic of Vince.

(Sophie) what was bee's 1272 post about ? i can't see it on my mac... Nothing. She must have hit submit inadvertently. People do it all the time. I swear *standing on collection of Firth tapes* that I didn't delete it. Am only deleting posts with broken tags today...at least thus far.

Had a beautiful presentation planned, but am on a mini-break with the DH's laptop - on which I can't find my presentation. ;-( So... Happy Birthday Colin. As a baby, I understood that Jack was placed in a bag (a handbag!) am hoping that the size of the bag hasn't changed for Vince. ;-)

Come on Colin, I'll show you mine if you show me yours

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN From : ....Happy little coffee beans.... And.... ....Happy little hemorrhoids.... (am sparing you the image..:-)))

Is that one of the happy coffee bean farmers, Ev?

Lisa, I want a party favor. :-) Please save me one! (You're doing some fantatic things with all your images.)

fantabulous lisa ! ! ! i'm so happy with your fake newsbite i could throw up right now. can you counterfeit good money as well ???

Too funny Lisa! To lose a bid to Katie, who could keep up with such a high bid? (sophie),Hey Moon ! is that a picture of you in your post ? do you perform that stunt on a daaily basis ? Is that why they call you moon then ? Ma ch�re Sophie, of course a French girl would ask. ;-D But it was de rigueur that summer I did at La Sorbonne. ;-)

I�m back with the music, tonight I have flown in the best chill dance DJ�s in the free world. So feel the love, feel the beat and get up on your feet.

Yet another installment of CRYPTIC Inc. (you can't get rid of us so easily, you know) Okey-dokey ladies. Well, it seems our barf bags became quite popular on the drool board, but Mr. F wasn't very happy with his present: as a matter of fact, he showed up at Cryptic, threw a tantrum, mumbled a few curses with regards to some mysterious "boss" (don't know who that can be, mind you) threatened to sue "disney-style" and tore off all the barf bags... Oh well, this business stank anyway. So, we at Cryptic force fed him a couple martinis, sunshine pills and TV-dinners and tucked him to bed. While he was snoring back at post 1266, we conceived yet a brilliant scheme to get rich, and woke him up : what comes in a bag and is hugely popular, even amongst sour-puss british thespians ??? Yes, you in the back ? Correct ! Christmas prezzies ! we thought we could conceive some fab dolls for you drooleuses, i'm sure you'll be thrilled when you see our TOY BOYS FOR GIFTED GIRLS� line (easy down-payments and major credit cards accepted). Let me just call Santa's little helper here : Yes, very, errrr. festive. Thank you, rudolph, that'll do. OK, our first model is actually a left over from 2003. Better hurry, stocks will not last forever. Note the manly attitude, the tilt of the hat and the bulge in the trousers. And he can talk as well, with a funny accent maybe, but it's a design flaw that we just could'nt catch while proof testing the model: Second model, which is sure to become very very popular amongst some drooleuses, has silver lining but doesn't weigh much on the authenticity side: it's actually a total fake, but who cares, it will have the rumor mill grinding away: Third on our list, a brand new model, very very impressive because of its accessories, comes fully dressed but is quite anxious to get rid of that beautiful sturdy jacket of his: And finally, the last model in the main stream collection, a more sensible one, hitting on the acquired ethnic side of our good friend Mr. F. And it's damn practical as well; the man has, after all, a family to feed: Now girls, aren't they cute ? don't you want to adopt one ? Go tell mom, she'll sure want one too, and you'd better hurry, while offers last ! *****Cryptic will be back much much later with the French PG-13 line (i.e. american NC-17)*****

OMG, Sophie. I'm LMAO. Pizza Pappa, indeed! But I must say, Little Col is my AFF...Absolutely F--king Favorite!

LOL, great, Sophie! I want the cowboy, "Little Col". How much?

LOL, Sophie! I love little Col, too.

Great goody bags, sophie! But give Santa a rest now

Great offers Soph,How's about Santa's little helper??;-))is he available as a 'living doll'? Didn't hear that Soph! did you say he's no longer available? **snapping fingers** darn.OK, well then I guess my second choice has to be Little Col complete with authentic accessories. Am now joining the ever lengthening queue!

(Sophie) what was bee's 1272 post about ? i can't see it on my mac... (Karen)Nothing. She must have hit submit inadvertently. People do it all the time. I swear *standing on collection of Firth tapes* that I didn't delete it. Am only deleting posts with broken tags today...at least thus far. Won't play with italics, just sorry after so long a sorry absence to have come back to make a silly mistake. Carry on you queens of HTML, it's been a blast so far:-))

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa! That newspaper item was a hoot. Colin_Hot_4U No keeeeding! ;-) And Sophie, those dolls are amazing. I'd bet most of them show up on other Firth websites soon. Note the manly attitude, the tilt of the hat and the bulge in the trousers. The bulge in the trousers. *snort* He sure does look the part as 007, even though he should keep himself a bargepole away from such roles. But the big question is: Can Houdini Col escape the Rom-Com Torture Chamber. Are there handcuffs included? Unfortunately, your post is missing the necessary ending font tags and the screen is really messed up. Yet I can't bring myself to delete...without you reposting it again. Maybe I'll do it for you...