To talk or not to talk?

Topic 9 · 53 responses · archived october 2000

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~yeshe Fri, Nov 28, 1997 (15:00) seed

Talking is a great way to express one self. A question to ponder. Do we need that form of communication when we are in the bright? Is that communication which then when in the bright needed for are own benefit or for others own benefit?

~americ Fri, Nov 28, 1997 (16:33) #1

Tell me more about this phrase "in the bright".

~yeshe Fri, Nov 28, 1997 (17:08) #2

At the moment I am getting ready for work. A quick explanation of what I feel "in the bright" means is total contentment and complete happiness with one self at all times.

~KitchenManager Sat, Nov 29, 1997 (01:29) #3

Ok, Yeshe, here is my statement in response to yours from the intros topic: Why does it have to only benefit one? Why not both, especially when in the bright benefitting another would be benefitting ourself?

~yeshe Sat, Nov 29, 1997 (05:46) #4

I completely agree with you, kicthen manager. You can not be an enlightened soul by yourself. That is not possible. A hermit is not a happy man.

~americ Sat, Nov 29, 1997 (12:43) #5

it does seem to me that in becoming happy one's self we make a contribution to the happiness of all and, yet, as we do that we have greater compassion for all the souls that are in suffering yeshe -- you must be a bodisattva

~Estaben Sat, Nov 29, 1997 (13:28) #6

Speak from the heart (soul), and the whole world listens and wonders. Speak from the ego, and you can be very popular.

~yeshe Mon, Dec 1, 1997 (19:52) #7

Being in the bright is a beautiful cycle....... Brightness rubs from one to another, creating love amougst us all. And coming to a completion when we are all as one... I was told those who give love, recieve love.....

~americ Mon, Dec 1, 1997 (19:58) #8

Yes, such a blessing! Somedays, when I am down. I find the greatest blessing is someone in the Bright. They may be someone just passing by on the street. Their state of mind passes over to me. And, I feel blessed and reminded of the joy-bliss that was already inside of me.

~Estaben Tue, Dec 2, 1997 (22:46) #9

Yeshe, Who's to say a hermit is really alone. Isn't that the time when we can really get in touch???

~yeshe Wed, Dec 3, 1997 (22:57) #10

But to much time alone, leaves a man withdrawn from others.

~Estaben Thu, Dec 4, 1997 (11:31) #11

Are you saying twenty years in the desert is not (ultimately) a good thing?

~americ Thu, Dec 4, 1997 (15:15) #12

We are social animals.

~Estaben Thu, Dec 4, 1997 (17:07) #13

I agree that outwardly we are social. But inwardly, in (apparent) solitude there can be a different connection. Some people enjoy solitude to uncover that connection.

~stacey Fri, Dec 5, 1997 (19:21) #14

we are social animals but every so often I have to be alone to remember who I am.

~pmnh Fri, Dec 5, 1997 (19:56) #15

yeah, I think solitude can be vastly undervalued...

~stacey Fri, Dec 5, 1997 (20:40) #16

not today as I sit in my empty classroom at 5:30pm!!!

~Estaben Sat, Dec 6, 1997 (00:31) #17

Hey Stacey, Are you not who you are... all of the time? Maybe you need to be alone to remember who you were. To see that you have changed and grown.

~pmnh Sat, Dec 6, 1997 (23:02) #18

how very...profound. (and Stacey- do you, like, remember you're Stacey today, or what?:))

~KitchenManager Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (01:00) #19

I'll bite... I am very rarely able to be who I am, and even less of the time who I prefer to be.

~pmnh Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (01:02) #20

who is it you prefer to be, wer?

~KitchenManager Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (01:07) #21

My fingers would cramp before I was half done, nick...

~americ Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (13:57) #22

In the SILANCE we are really all the same. Personal identity is mostly the accidents of history. But what is below THAT which is found in silance is not any of the things we do or think. So I think to say this morning.

~Estaben Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (18:29) #23

In the silence is the unjudged experience

~KitchenManager Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (21:22) #24

In the silence, all of the voices can be heard more easisly...

~pmnh Sun, Dec 7, 1997 (21:33) #25

which can be either good, or bad...

~Estaben Mon, Dec 8, 1997 (15:27) #26

Wer I've only heard one voice in there... Do you hear more than one, or do you speak of voices from outside?

~KitchenManager Mon, Dec 8, 1997 (16:47) #27

More than one...

~stacey Mon, Dec 8, 1997 (18:57) #28

I am many people, all of them me, all of the time. But, in truth, I am different person with different people and really enjoy finding the woman who I am alone in her own solitide. Make sense?

~Wolf Mon, Dec 8, 1997 (22:50) #29

Yes, that does make sense. We all have our different sides and depending the situation we are in and/or the people involved, helps us decide which side to put forth. Maybe it has to do with self-protection and the need to feel safe.

~pmnh Mon, Dec 8, 1997 (22:53) #30

yeah, very much (sense, i mean)...

~pmnh Mon, Dec 8, 1997 (22:55) #31

hey... you again... did you spam me?

~TIM Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (22:15) #32

All of this talk of different sides, and different people makes me wonder, which is the truth. Or is there a true side. Or are they all just masks.

~stacey Mon, Dec 7, 1998 (20:09) #33

Everybody's got a mask, not just here, in cyberspace, but everywhere. Masks are people's defenses, people's self-images, people's egos... Tim, you have a mask like all the rest of us. And I'm sure you have a true side as well.

~TIM Mon, Dec 7, 1998 (21:48) #34

You are right Stacey. The mask is a shield. Used to keep enemies out.

~stacey Thu, Dec 10, 1998 (14:33) #35

or at least those perceived as enemies

~PT Thu, Dec 10, 1998 (16:57) #36

That is the trouble with using a mask. It often distorts the vision. Both ways.

~stacey Mon, Apr 19, 1999 (13:54) #37

~aschuth Mon, Apr 19, 1999 (14:24) #38

~KitchenManager Thu, Apr 22, 1999 (14:14) #39

How does one talk in such a way that it is not taken as an attack?

~ratthing Thu, Apr 22, 1999 (16:43) #40

the short answer: very carefully ;) the long answer: there are actually entire works that are devoted to that topic. it is an interesting mix of body language, facial expression, voice inflections, choice of words, present situation, and past history. any specific examples/situations you'd like to talk about william?

~KitchenManager Thu, Apr 22, 1999 (17:13) #41

no...you pretty much covered it...

~aschuth Thu, Apr 22, 1999 (17:22) #42

Wer and Ray - if you find the all-working answer on that, be sure to get the rights and sell it to the UN. It depends on the talkers abilities, and the talked-to person's set of perceptions. As the first varies from person to person, and also in one person according to different influences (tiredness, bloodsugar level, intoxication, neurological and psychiatric limitations, etc.) and the other depends on the given, plus social influences (the set of communication forms trainined in the environment the person was raised in), all is constantly in a kind of free fall. You tumble, see unwanted impact, withdraw, evade undesired contexts,... Basically, fair communication is a thing that is only possible in a philosophical way. But there is something more to this, something one can learn.

~KitchenManager Thu, Apr 22, 1999 (17:25) #43

or at least someone should learn...

~aschuth Sat, Apr 24, 1999 (10:15) #44

Sometimes I hate this &%$��$"!??'*!�-crap! I wrote a really useful note, and it wouldn't submit, and I didn't cut & paste it to save it with e.g. the Notepad for Pete's sake, and then the whole box STOPPED! In short: stop conversation. Freeze topic. Do NOT continue this path, side-step and start a discussion on the former discussion (not on the topic, but on the exchange of arguments, possible misunderstandings and wrong assumptions). Do what's called a *Meta-conversation*. It's not about you. It's not about the other person. Not about the issue you were originally talking about. It's all about the manner in which you conversed, and how to resolve communicational and emotional roadblocks. Mistakes and low-blows you dealt or felt served by the other party. Try to strip the former discussion from offenses and offended feelings. Rationalize your and the other person's feelings. Get possible "hurt issues" resolved. Note: In most cases, it may be more in your own interest to keep social and emotional ties to the other party intact, than to win an argument. (Disclaimer: I do not guarantee anybody that this works. Don't hold me responsible if things don't work out. It's your life, and your free choice of steps. More or less, anyway.)

~mikeg Sat, Apr 24, 1999 (11:36) #45

Alexander, why don't you ask terry to set you up a telnet account? It's faster than using the web interface and also you don't have the horrible problem of losing everything after you press "Submit" (something that used to plague me a lot!) you could probably email wer as well and ask him to set it up

~ratthing Sat, Apr 24, 1999 (12:26) #46

i could set it up for you if you want, alexander.

~KitchenManager Sat, Apr 24, 1999 (13:10) #47

it's set-up now, your password is in the mail...

~aschuth Sat, Apr 24, 1999 (16:38) #48

No, I want Ray to do something for me! He just screwed me up once, and you do that all the time! Give the young folk a chance!

~KitchenManager Sun, Apr 25, 1999 (00:32) #49

too late...(what happened to teaching old dogs new tricks?)

~aschuth Sun, Apr 25, 1999 (04:45) #50

(From what I heard, the trainer got shot, and the dog retired. Lives in Florida now. Guess that figures.)

~KitchenManager Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (23:14) #51

(yep)

~MarciaH Wed, Aug 25, 1999 (21:03) #52

Two schools of thought: If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. and You can keep silent and make them wonder if you are stupid, or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt. Sounds like we need a third school!

~cfadm Fri, Jun 18, 2004 (06:31) #53

http://www.deadmedia.org/notes/45/459-comment.html

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