And you can't stop singing this?

Uhg, no I'm trying my best to forget it!!! It's absolutely horrible. I mean these girls have about five silly little buns on their heads (God knows how they achieve it with their hair being about 3 cm long), they wear these strange camouflage pants (which CAN look good on a person if they actually fit), which sag down to just below their arses with their ten year old knickers displayed all over the place, they sway like a couple of drunks, and that's how they hope to get the audience as horny as they are?!?!? No, thank you! It was a good laugh, but Sovory makes me alot hornier; I'd like to think of myself as less of a slut than I used to be!

drat

What the fu�k?!?!

French again?

Absolutely! Did I mention that French is my favourite language? I mean, it's just so musical on the ear, isn't it? Especially when spoken, not written . . . Wat zuh fok! Beautiful, ain't it?

*lol*

And here's one of the most moronic song lyrics I've heard in a long time. It's by DJ bobo - fun to listen to, until you figure out the words, which are sung with a heavy Swiss accent. Planet earth, that's the name of my place I'm born in this world, in the entire space (how fat can a person possibly be?!) Planet earth is my home, is my face (uh, imagine that for a moment . . .) Follow your trace, embrace this human race (sounds like anal sex!) I'm talking about respect, this is my destiny (not with lyrics like these, pal!) Feel free and stop running away From the doubt in your mind - never fade to grey (what the fu�k??) Planet earth, gentle and blue Then cold as a rock, or ice without a hue (ag shame!) Planet earth made out of dust A big ball of metal, condemned to rust (like, WHY, and since when?!) Pray, let your soul be free (trying to sound like the english chap in Batman?!) Find out how to heal a bleading (his spelling) wound (ever tried putting on a plaster?) don't stand around Life could be paradise (yeah, right!) Peace on earth is what I found (not difficult if one lives on a few million a year in a country like Switzerland!!!!!!) All around in a magic world from the air to the ground (WHAT THA FU�K?!?!?!?! I mean, what in the he�� is supposed to connect those last two phrases?!?!?!) �sitting on my chair, shuddering my arse off, eyebrow touching the ceiling!�

Raise the roof. Or at least the ceiling. Anyway most of my favorite silly song lyrics are in songs by Jerry Reed. ( I don't Know if I spelled his name right. It might be Reid)

Incidentally, I haven't heard the expression, "What the Fuck", used since I was in the army. Whenever things were really FUBAR, someone would call in on the radio with,"What the Fuck....over?".

FUBAR? Jerry Reed? What the fuck...?

Now, don't tell me that you've never heard of Jerry Reed. FUBAR is the worst of three designations for messed up, used by the military. They are: SNAFU= situation normal all fouled up. TARFU= things are really fouled up FUBAR= fouled up beyond all recognition.

You don't swear?

I try not to swear, sometimes it's unavoidable, but usually there is a way around it.

Very interesting, Tim! Never heard of those last two military designations (and I worked for the Army for 3 years--my husband still does). About Jerry Reed, I am clueless. Is he a friend of Funky Bob's by any chance?

Jerry Reed is a country western singer who makes mostly comedy songs.

He is NOT a friend of Funky Bob's then! Funky Bob's a hip hop artist. Stinks, but I love him.

Riette, bring some of his music when you come! I'd love to hear it.

I shall indeed! I hope I'm not going to make you crazy - you must just say, enough when I get out of hand, will you? Because I don't want to be rude and stuff.

Riette, I'm sure that you won't get out of hand. You are not a rude person. And besides, I like all music.

Well, I'll try not to anyway. And I'm looking forward to hearing the kind of music you listen to over there.

Riette, I can Hardly wait.

Yes, HARDly!!! ha-ha!!! Couldn't resist!

I hope Not, Riette! (I could not just let that one slide by)

ha-ha!!! If you carry on like this, I shall refuse to come! �wink�

Riette, That is something that I would definitely have to see to believe.

Me too!

Jerry Reed was also in the Smokey and the Bandit movies... and at least one episonde of Scooby Doo...

I enjoy his lyrics.

MacArthur�s Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down... Someone left the cake out in the rain I don�t think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I�ll never have that recipe again Ho, no ! (Donna Summer: MacArthur Park, 1978; from http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Club/2249/song_map.html ) Hello? Could anybody please explain these lyrics for me? Why did she leave the cake in the rain, if it took her so long to make it? Where did she loose the recipe? Why does it rain at all? And: Who was supposed to eat that cake? This is a mystery that has occupied my mind for many years...

I can't explain the cake mystery, but MacArthur Park was originally performed by Richard Harris (great actor, not much of a singer) in 1967. Disc jockeys loved his version, because back then, in the day of the 2 minute 30 second single (45 rpm vinyl, no less), it was nearly 7 minutes long, allowing the announcer to go to the bathroom.

Jerry Reed played truck driver Cletus "The Snowman" Snow (Burt Reynold's sidekick) in the Smokey and the Bandit movie series. Here's an example of one of his lyrics: Amos Moses was a Cajun, he lived by himself in a swamp. He hunted alligators for a livin', he'd just knock 'em in the head with a stump. The Loosiana law's gonna gitcha, Amos... It ain't legal huntin' alligators down in the swamp, boy Now, everybody cursed his old man for makin' him as mean as a snake. When Amos Moses was a boy his daddy would use him for alligator bait. Tie a rope aroun' his waist and throw him in the swamp... an alligator man in the Loosiana bayou About 45 minutes northeast of Thibodeaux, Loosiana Lived a man name Doc Roy South and his pretty wife, Hannah They raised them a son who could eat up his weight in groceries... Named him after a man of the cloth, called him Amos Moses copyright 1969, Jerry Reed

"Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah!" ("Drive My Car"/Beatles, written by George Harrison) "Who put the bop in the bop de bop? Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?" (Barry Weil) "Polk salad Annie, the gator's got yer granny (chomp, chomp, chomp) Everybody said it was a shame, cause yo' mama was workin' on a chain gang" (Tony Joe White) "Hey Moe, Hey Moe, well-a, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk" ("The Curley Shuffle"/Jump in the Saddle) "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo Cuz tonite I'm a gonna see my ma cher ami-oh Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be gay-oh Son of a gun, we're gonna have big fun on the bayou" (Hank Williams, Sr.) "California tumbles into the sea, that'll be the day I go back to Annandale Tried to warn her about Gino and Daddy G, but I can't seem to get to you in the county jail, Well I heard the whistle and I must go, I'm gonna take it down to Mexico She said oh, no, Guadalajara won't do now! Well I did not think the girl could be so cruel And I'm never goin' back to my old school." (Steely Dan/written by Donald Fagan and Walter Becker)

Hey Moe, Hey Moe, well-a nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!!!! ha-ha!!! Sounds like Beavis and Butthead pick-up line!

I think Elmer Fudd is Butthead's long-lost daddy. They have the same laugh.

�uncontrollable giggles� PLUS his face looks like a hairless bum - a sure sign ....

LOL!

"Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase, Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing phase, Means 'no worries' for the rest of your days, It's a problem free philosophy Hakuna Matata" (Jimmy Cliff, sung by Nathan Lane in The Lion King "She's got electric boots, a mohair suit, you know I read it in a magazine, Oh, oh B-B-B-B-Bennie and the Jetsssss" (Sir Elton John) "I saw the news today, oh boy. about a lucky man who made the grade. And though the news was rather said, well, I just had to laugh... I saw the photograph. He blew his mind out in a car, he didn't notice that the lights had changed A crowd of people stood and stared, they'd seen his face before (nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords). I'd love to turn you on.... Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head Found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up, I noticed I was late Grabbed my boots and got my hat, I made the bus in seconds flat... Found my way upstairs and had a smoke and somebody spoke and I went into a dream AAAAAAAHHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHH AAAAAHHHH ah ah, AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAHHHHH" (The Beatles "A Day in the Life" Lennon/McCartney 1968)

With Hakuna Matata I love the bit where the pig says it's there motto. And Simba asks what a motto is. And the meercat says, 'Nothing. What's the motto with you?' My kids fall over with laughter every time - me too! I LUUUUV those knock-knock type jokes.

Great film, period. "Oh-bla-di, oh-bla-da, life goes on, tra la la how the life goes on" (Lennon/Mc Cartney, 1968) "Outside, inside out, livin' la vida loca!" (Ricky Martin, 1999) "Ooh eee, ooh ah ah, ting tang walla-walla bing bang!" ("Witch Doctor," David Seville & the Chipmunks, 1959) "Solar prestige a gammon, kool kar kyrie kay salmon" (Sir Elton John, 1975)

PINHEAD Gabba gabba We accept you We accept you One of us. I don't wanna be a pinhead no more I just met a nurse that I could go for. D-U-M-B Everyone's accusing me. Gabba gabba hey (The Ramones, Leave Home, 1977) TEENAGE LOBOTOMY Lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy! DDT did a job on me Now I am a real sickie Guess I'll have to break the news That I got no mind to lose. All the girls are in love with me I'm a teenage lobotomy. Slugs and snails are after me DDT keeps me happy Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em That I got no cerebellum. Gonna get my Ph.D. I'm a teenage lobotomy. (The Ramones, Rocket to Russia, 1977) I luv' their lyrics! They're a bit mean, but funny! Heyho, let's go!

Yeah! R'n'R! (jumping up and down, singing silly crap, like the whole "Pleasant Dreams" album...)

Geez!

I told you I'm not much into, uh, SERIOUS music...

Sure. Does that mean that, when you take your girlfriend out, and the teenage lobotomy song comes on, Alexander says in deep, erotic voice, 'Oh, listen, honey, they're playing our song!' ?

"Suck on my chocolate salty balls...put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em" (Isaac Hayes as South Park's "The Chef")

mongoloid mongoloid he was a mongoloid happier than you and me mongoloid he was a mongoloid and it determined what he could see mongoloid he was a mongoloid one chromosome too many mongoloid he was a mongoloid and it determined what he could see and he wore a hat and he had a job and he brought home the bacon so that no one knew mongoloid he was a mongoloid his friends were unaware mongoloid he was a mongoloid nobody even cared (Classic Devo-Song, "Q: Are we not men? A: We are Devo!" Their first 7'' 1978)

And She Was (Talking Heads-lyrics by David Byrne) And she was lying in the grass And she could hear the highway breathing And she could see a nearby factory She's making sure she is not dreaming See the lights of a neighbor's house Now she's starting to rise Take a minute to concentrate And she opens up her eyes CHORUS: The world was moving and she was right there with it (and she was) The world was moving she was floating above it (and she was) and she was And she was drifting through the backyard And she was taking off her dress And she was moving very slowly Rising up above the earth Moving into the universe Not touching ground at all Up above the yard CHORUS She was glad about it... no doubt about it She isn't sure where she's gone No time to think about what to tell them No time to think about what she's done And she was And she was looking at herself And things were looking like a movie She had a pleasant elevation She's moving out in all directions CHORUS Joining the world of missing persons (and she was) Missing enough to feel alright (and she was)

I think that's rather deep, don't you? I love it.

I love the song. I won't pretend to understand the lyrics.

O.K. I don't want to you think that I'm a complete sicky! I DO KNOW NORMAL SILLY SONG LYRICS, TOO! Here's one: ARTIST: Manfred Mann TITLE: Do Wah Diddy Diddy There she was just a-walking down the street Singing do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do Snapping her fingers and shuffling her feet Singing do wah diddy... She looked good, looked good She looked fine, looked fine She looked good, she looked fine And I nearly lost my mind Before I knew it she was walking next to me / Singing... Holdin' my hand just as natural as can be / Singing... We walked on, walked on To my door, my door We walked on to my door Then we kissed a little more {Refrain} Wo-o-o-oh, I knew we was falling in love Yes I did, and so I told her all the things I'd been dreaming of Now we're together nearly every single day / Singing... We're so happy and that how we're gonna stay / Singing... Well I'm hers, I'm hers She's mine, she's mine I'm hers, she's mine Wedding bells are gonna chime {Refrain} Now we're together nearly every single day / Singing... We're so happy and that's how we're gonna stay / Singing... Well I'm hers, I'm hers She's mine, she's mine I'm hers, she's mine Wedding bells are gonna chime Wo-o-o-o-o-o, oh yeah Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do Isn't that a silly one? Alexander: Ever been to a Ramones-Concert? I've been at their "Goodbye-Tour" Great Show! John: That's what it's all about and why I posted the MacArthurPark-thing. By the way, have you ever understood the lyrics of Procol Harums "Whiter Shade of Pale"? Do you have the lyrics? I love that song, but I really don't know what it's all about!

I used to LOVE that song when I was a teenager, and all the seventies hits hit Namibia. My sister and I even used to do the little dance, and sometimes we'd translate it into Afrikaans (and most of ABBA's songs!!), and perform them for my mother. Used to have us making lemonade in our pants!

Riette - Whiter Shade of Pale, or Doo-Wah-Diddy ? I guess the latter, no?

Doo-Wah-Diddy. I remember those girls with their little white tennis skirts doing that dance, and the balloons and glitter that spurted from the roof at the end of the song. And there was another one - I don't know the group, but the song was called 'Fantasy Island'. Also with the glitter and balloon; we thought it was SOOOOO cool. I hope my kids never ever find out about it.

Isabel, will get back to you with "Whiter Shade..." lyrics...have them somewhere. Sometime when I'm not nodding out at keyboard. BTW, Robin Trower was the guitarist for Procul Harum. Quit the band because they were more keyboard/vocal oriented. Caught a lot of flak for Hendrix "knock off" style in 70s, but still think Trower was great guitarist. As for "Doo Wah Diddy"--how the hell did I overlook that. Love the drill they did to it in movie Stripes.

"A Whiter Shade of Pale" (Procul Harum, music: Gary Brooker, lyrics: Keith Reid) We skipped the light fandango And turned cartwheels across the floor I was feeling kind of seasick But the crowd called out for more The room was humming harder As the ceiling flew away When we called out for another drink The waiter brought a tray And so it was that later As the miller told his tale That her face at first just ghostly Turned a whiter shade of pale She said "There is no reason, And the truth is plain to see" But I wandered through my playing cards And would not let her be One of sixteen vestal virgins Who were leaving for the coast And although my eyes were open They might just as well have been closed And so it was that later As the miller told his tale That her face at first just ghostly Turned a whiter shade of pale The only reference I remotely get is to "The Miller's Tale." It is the bawdiest of the many tales in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales.

Here are the silly lyrics to one of my all-time faves, Sir Elton's "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding" (music by Elton John/lyrics by Bernie Taupin) The roses in the window box Have tilted to one side Everything about this house Was born to grow and die Oh it doesn't seem a year ago To this very day You said, "I'm sorry, honey If I don't change the pace I can't face another day." And love lies bleeding in my hand Oh it kills me to think of you with another man I was playing rock and roll and you were just a fan But my guitar couldn't hold you So I split the band Love lies bleeding in my hands I wonder if those changes Have left a scar on you Like all the burning hoops of fire That you and I passed through You're a bluebird on a telegraph line I hope you're happy now Well if the wind of change comes down your way girl You'll make it back somehow And love lies bleeding in my hand Oh it kills me to think of you with another man I was playing rock and roll and you were just a fan But my guitar couldn't hold you So I split the band Love lies bleeding in my hands

Hey, just when I found the "Whiter Shade Of Pale" lyrics in the net and wanted to post them, they where already there. Thank you, John! I heard that there's an explanation for these cryptic lyrics, maybe I'll find more about them in the net. Surf On!...and soon being back!

I'd like to know myself. Some of it sounds like the Titanic...some like the Canterbury Tales...some even like the Rime of the Ancient Mariner (Coleridge).

Or the Madness of King George, for that matter ..,

Or Jane Austen: Pet Detective... (hi, Ree!!) Remember this from summer of '83(?): "A...E...I...O...U...Sometimes...Y"

I don't remember that one. Sing it, maybe I'll recognize it.

Jane Austen: Pet Detective????? HA-HA!!!!

and who could forget this seemingly endless stream of non-sequiturs? We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel Copyrighted Maritime Music (1989 ) Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye" Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new Queen Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye CHORUS: We didn't start the fire It was always burning Since the world's been turning We didn't start the fire No we didn't light it But we tried to fight it Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock" Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev Princess Grace, "Peyton Place", trouble in the Suez CHORUS Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai" Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball Starkweather homicide, children of thalidomide Buddy Holly, "Ben Hur", space monkey, Mafia Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo CHORUS Hemingway, Eichmann, "Stranger in a Strange Land" Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion "Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say CHORUS Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan "Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law Rock and roller, cola wars, I can't take it anymore CHORUS We didn't start the fire But when we are gone Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

Isabel, the following is excerpted from Mike Butler's book Lives of the Great Songs: 'I never understand when people say they don't understand it,' said (Procul lyricist Keith) Reid. '"We skipped the light fandango"'. That's traightforward. "Turned cartwheels across the floor." It seems very clear to me.' Nervously, I hazarded my own reading, the summation of my voluntary immersion in the world of A Whiter Shade of Pale, and much pondering on its significance. Is it about getting pissed and fancying the person opposite you? 'It's a story, a journey, seen from the point of view of a man ch racter.' The song explores what it means to be wrecked, in more than one sense of the word. A nervous seducer sustains his courage with alcohol. As he becomes more drunk, his impressions of his unfamiliar partner become confused by stray thoughts, fragments of childhood reading and his own faint-hearted aspirations. The song's recurring metaphor is of maritime disaster, and a parallel is drawn between romantic conquest and the allure and peril of the sea. The hero is a callow juvenile, far happier with a book than risking the emotional bruising of relationships. This ambivalence is underscored by frequent allusions to nausea. As befits a night of excess, there are gaps in the telling. The evasive 'And so it was that later ...' is given weight by repetition and its positioning just before the hook ('Her face at first just ghostly / Turned a whiter shade of pale'). The listener is invited to fill the gaps with his or her own (prurient) imagination. An entire verse was dropped early in the song's gestation. Another is optional ('She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,' / Though in truth we were at sea') and was excised from the recor ed version at the insistence of producer Denny Cordell, to make the record conform to standard single length. For a pop song, A Whiter Shade of Pale carries an unprecedented amount of literary baggage. Although, Reid reveals, the reference to Chaucer is a red herring. 'One thing people always get wrong is that line about the Miller's Tale. I've never read Chaucer in my life. They're right off the track there.' Why did he put it in then? (In mild dismay at the peremptory demolition of this intellectual prop.) 'I can't remember now.' The analogy with Canterbury Tales, whether welcomed by Reid or not, holds good. Bo h are quintessentially English works, the one established in the canon of literature, and the other a pop standard. Both have associations of piety and decorum. (The song has become a regular fixture of the wedding ritual, supplanting Handel's Wedding March as the tune to walk down the aisle to after the ceremony: it was played, indeed, at the wedding of Gary Brooker and Fran�oise, known as Frankie, with Procol Harum's Matthew Fisher in the organ loft.) Both, beneath their respectable surface, are puerile and sex-obsessed works. [sic!] Even discounting the Chaucer reference � the Miller's Tale is the usual mediaeval bawdiness, involving cuckoldry, bared buttocks, flatulence and a sadistic rear-end attack � the conviction remains that A Whiter Shade of Pale is all about sex, and juvenile sex at that. The following memorable couplet is the giveaway: [I] would not let her be One of sixteen Vestal Virgins Vestal Virgins were handmaidens of the Roman half-goddess Vesta (meaning hearth), whose job was to maintain a sacred and perpetual fire. The number of them is significant, invoking the biblical parable of the five wise and five foolish virgins, and, less edifyingly, the barrack-room ballad of '... four-and-twenty virgins ... down from Inverness'. Why Reid's lot should amount to 16 is one of the song's more imponderable details. Maybe it has something to do with 16 being the youngest a girl can be lusted a ter by a rock'n'roller with impunity (You're Sixteen, Sweet Little Sixteen, etc). The passing allusion to Lewis Carroll in the preceding couplet � 'I wandered through my playing cards' � suggests that some of the obscurity of A Whiter Shade, as in Alice, may be due to the broaching of taboo. The hesitant lover in the song is caught midway between the chivalry of When a Man Loves a Woman and the carnality of Jane Birkin in Je t'aime (a smash hit of the following year, blatantly modelled on the Procol Harum song). END OF QUOTED TEXT--rest is paraphrased by me (John Burnett) Reid says the title "Whiter Shade of Pale" came from a friend, having watched another friend smitten by a woman at a wedding reception, saying to the guy "Man, you just turned a whiter shade of pale." He realized he had a line for a song lyric then and had to go to putting the rest of the pieces of the puzzle together. When asked about Willie Nelson's version of the song, where he changed the line about the miller to "and the mirror told it's tale" Reid replied, 'I like it. It's better. You can see why he's such a great songwriter.' (I don't know if this actually tells you what the song means, but it should shed some light on how the lyrics came together. Hope this helps.)

...and it sounds soo harmonious like another love-song ( my cousin chose it for her wedding, too, I don't believe I would...

Das dritte Auge King Rocko Schamoni - Jeans und Elektronik Ich hab das dritte Auge, doch leider haengen Haare drueber Und an meinen Haenden habe ich innen offene Wunden Ich trage eine Dornenkrone und die Wuerfel in der Hand Alles was ich tue, richtet sich nach ihnen nur Und tief im Dunkeln dreh ich einsam in der Feuchte meine Kreise Je schneller ich mich drehe, desto heller wird es hier Gefangen, viel zu eng ist mir der Kerker meines Schaedels Und mein Horizont, er reicht vom linken bis zum rechten Ohr Ich habe sieben Beine, doch leider gehn nur zwei davon Und in meinen Fuessen stecken lange Naegel Ich fluestere meine S�nden zuhause ins Klosett hinein Und spuele sie zusammen mit dem, was ich nicht brauche weg (2. Verse repeated) Hope I got all the 'umlauts' out! Now, isn't that a real silly one?

hysterical! (actually it'll take me a week to translate I'm sure!) Hey... is this topic hidden... it doesn't come up as having any new posts... I only realized new stuff was being entered when I came in through a browser and saw it in the 'last five posts' section...

Mmmh, don't know why it doesn't show on your main page, but it's not "members only", post your silliest song lyrics, too! It would take me a week to translate this silly stuff into decent english, but I may try...coming soon!

Sorry, I forgot to close the HTML italics tag. Did so now, before Marcia does another of her mock-annoyed but secretly gleeful production of doing so. If I ever get married again, I might choose "Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band, but somehow, I doubt I'll find the woman who will go along with that choice.

Gosh, so many letters - be glad you people don't work for a mag - you'd use up all letters on the Spring, and have only some Umlaute and consonants left for the job... *Response 45 of 70: Riette *Sure. Does that mean that, when you take your girlfriend out, *and the teenage lobotomy song comes on, Alexander says in deep, *erotic voice, 'Oh, listen, honey, they're playing our song!' ? Riette, make that an excited, over-eager high voice, pitching over from even more excitement! Besides that - what's missing... AH, right - dumb, jerking moves (looks shit, feels good!), the same I'm involuntarily urged to by certain (most) Devo tunes. JERKIN' BACK 'n' FORTH! Those two bands saved my sanity, but nobody noticed... The Ramones are not only funny. They are, as Isabell said, mean. Good songwriting, where fun stuff creates non-fun imagery, or bad things are ridiculed to bring them down to size. They have done some very nice love songs and no-more-love-songs, too, and drug songs, and depressed songs. Stuff like Dee Dee's Sitting In My Room from the Pleasant Dreams album... The difference between Lou Reed on one side and Joey and Dee Dee Ramone is, the Ramones were fun, while he is always so serious about everything. Great artist, that Lou, but always in a bad mood. Bored, annoyed - read interviews or watch documentaions on him, he never has fun, never smiles. Look at Dee Dee. Read Poison Heart, his autobiography. What a life. You wouldn't wish that on an enemy! And yet he wrote so nice songs, that so many people loved all around the world! Not the old farts Mick and Keith, no, the Ramones were the greatest and most loved band of the world! Even when Joey seemed so weak, and Dee Dee had quit, people loved them. The Ramones were ROCK N ROLLS most reliable institution.- *Response 51 of 70: Isabel (Isabel) *Alexander: Ever been to a Ramones-Concert? *I've been at their "Goodbye-Tour". Great Show! Isabell, I have, though not as often as John saw the Grateful Dead. I would never call me a fan - like I don't have all their albums, etc., but I dearly love their work and respected this band. I first saw them in mid-eighties (rather late... a friend even saw the Sex Pistols on their Germany tour in 1977, but I never had the money for "real" concerts). That was in Munich, in the club Schlachthof, which is long since history, too. I went with the flow and somehow lost one of my shoes... IN THE MIDDLE OF T E SLAMMING CROWD! I tried to follow it, but all those folks slamming around, legs and arms milling about, it was migrating all thor the club... Had some good time to catch up with it! Anyhow, I think that was the only concert i saw with Dee Dee on bass. Second time was an Open Air, the fourth or so Bizarre Festival - then still above the Rhine, on the stage near the Lorelei-cliff. Next time was in Frankfurt, where they were on a bill with Monster Magnet (who were great then!), Sisters Of Mercy, and Type-O-Negative, who were cancelled. I saw them last on their farewell-tour, too. Had to pay them their dues, say thanks for the music. And what a sad moment! Opener were Rammstein - then unknown, but they sucked SO super-bad... The Ramones had deserved better! And then they played, with the last "new" Ramone, C.J. instead of Dee Dee on bass. Joey looked very pale - as usual -, and weak, too. He left the stage several times, in which they played new songs that CJ sung. Every time Joey went off stage, I was very worried... And it was the loudest concert I've been to! Isabell, how was your experience of that tour? Rocko Schamoni - Stacey, translate it, it's worth it! Wonderfully esoteric, absurd and full of absurdities. Possibly a critique, factually a story well told (and what it's about, it does not matter...) Rocko is the MASTER of LOVE in music, as far as German lingo, L.O.V.E., soul, caring and mysteriousness concerned. He is a soul-loving pragmatic playing the mystic, or a mystic playing the fool. It doesn't matter, it's all very good! superstar 3/99 features an exchange between Rock Schamoni and Bernd Hartwich from Munich band Merricks.- Isabell - where'd you get that one? Huh? Stacey - Speechless?

Und I thought Dieter of "Sprockets" fame (Mike Myers) was the ubermeister of love! Either him or Mozart. BTW, Myers is in the process of writing a Sprockets movie.

Alex, you're right about Lou being serious. Hard not to be with a 30 year heroin habit. But I never took "Take a Walk on the Wild Side" seriously. It's too damn funny, even if the lyrics sound depresssing.

For those of you who likely won't make it over to my "Screwed" site, remember the song "Diana" by Paul Anka? Earlier this year, I wrote some new lyrics for it and recorded it. It became kind of a cult item locally when I played it on the radio--even though my boss hated it and told me to cease and desist after a couple of weeks. He did say, though, that he liked my singing voice and was surprised by that. I still get requests. Here are the lyrics. Viagra (tune "Diana" by Paul Anka, lyrics by John Burnett (STANZA I) When I'm down and want some love, there's an angel from above Just ten dollars, a blue pill, and it gives me such a thrill... Pretty soon I'm feelin' up, makes me frisky like a pup Oh, please, stay with me, Viagra (STANZA II) Some who've tried it, they have died, but their joy they could not hide and the smile upon their face, undertakers could not erase And their caskets could not close, rigor mortis had arose Oh, Please stay with me Viagra CHORUS Oh, Viagra, it's for sure You're the miracle impotence cure You make me feel so secure Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh REPEAT STANZA I (repeat final line three times and fade)... lyrics, copyright 1999 John Burnett

ha-ha! I still love one of those very first viagra jokes which goes: why do they give old men viagra before they go to sleep at night? And the answer is: so they won't roll out of bed. Apparently women have been taking it as well. Wonder what THAT looks like....

Hey, Alexanderr , who do think you are writing my name with double "ll" at the end? *grin* I'm not offended, but one "l" is good enough for me! O.K.? Did you ever get that shoe back, or was it lost forever? I loved this last Ramones-Concert, except Rammstein. They weren't famous then and nobody in the audience understood, what this was all about. It was sooo awful, I can't understand how they got that famous! But you could see that the Ramones, esp. Joey had gotten very old (or sick?). Hey, I was at the Super-Bang (was this the right name of this concert, don't really remmember), too! We could have met! The Rocko Schamoni-LP? A friend recorded it on a tape for me...and I still love it most from all the LP's I know from him. I saw that superstar-topic. Where do I get that mag? Is it german? John , I love that song! Can't we hear it somewhere? Like on the internet, Real Audio, You know? I know what you mean with "Lou" and "depressing". Can't listen to his "Heroin"-Song no more. Makes me depressive, too. No, I wasn't a drug-addict, but I knew some...

Isabellllll, give me a break. I've known Isas, Izas, Isabells, Isabelles, Ysabels and what have you not! But an Isabel NEVER crossed my path until now... I think. So, please excuse mmmmmmmmmme. ;=} Lou Reeeeeeeed - Don't get me wrong folks, love this guy's work, too. Well, most of it. SET THE TWILIGHT REELING disappointed me a bit. There's the best sound and fattest guitar he had in ages, and he writes so wonderful pieces with so unmoving lyrics. Perhaps the lyrics he does when in love (here: with Laurie Anderson) are not as strong as these when he hates... He always seems so hard and serious, and that's nothing to do with 30 years of Heroine (btw, the version on the ROCK 'N' ROLL ANIMAL album - recorded somewhere live in Texas?- is great and so opulent I'd call it barock...). Look at Dee Dee, or Iggy. They have humour, he doesn't. Even when they are cynic or ironic, he has nothing to match that. Perhaps he controls his public image so good, perhaps he never is happy. But trust me, it's not the dope. Most dope fiends have at least sarcasm. Look at Bowie - HE s always laughing! Never stopped! superstar: German mag, available at any trainstation or around Berlin. End of sales plug.- Sprockets: Saw that on MTV. Wish it still were on... The show: I slammed along on one foot, following it, and eventually recovered it. It was a nice shoe with steel cap, so it was worth it...

"Heroin, it's my life and it's my wife" (can't laugh at that one) Wish I could put it on the net. It's doing me absolutely no good right now. My boss won't allow me to play it anymore and I don't have my own website. He even erased the song out of the station's computer bank. I have the master, but it's a 24-track studio tape. When I played it, I didn't tell people it was me unless they called to ask. Some thought that it was Paul Anka.

I don't know, Just where I'm going. But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, If I can... The important thing is not this song, it's the music. My best friend through many years told me, the whole thing was the best rendition of the feeling when the smack hits he ever found (Especially in the Rock 'n' Roll Animal-Version...). Of course the lyrics are important, but more as means for another instrument, Lou's voice. And I'm rushing on my run And I feel just like Jesus' son And I guess I just don't know Oh and I guess that I just don't know. - and here the music explodes, bombastically, a high for every listener. Doubtlessly Lou's masterwork. Stefan and I shared this opinion.

Well, I guess feeling like Jesus' son must indeed be a ball-crushing experience...

I guess I just don't know Ah, and I guess that I just don't know...

"I've opened up my veins too many times Now the poison's in my soul and in my mind Poison's in my bloodstream poison's in my eyes I'm after rebellion I'll settle for lies..." Blue Oyster Cult (can't remember song title...Help?)

Wow, what paradoxical lyrics! No wonder counter-culture never remains 'counter'!

Don't know the song... Anybody read Dee Dee Ramones autobiography around here? "Poison Heart". Heavy stuff... Gives one a new perspective on the "cool" rock bands, and the musicians. And made me appreciate this artist even more...

I haven't read it. I love reading auto-/biographies, but haven't read any recently. How did it give you a new perspective?

You look at the Ramones, and what do you see? Punk rock's eternal boy group, and if you don't pay attention, you'd bet they sing all happy and silly tunes and are all good friends. Well, they don't and they weren't. Dee Dee writes about where he's from - an Army brat, born in Berlin by his German mother, son after the war. Parents alcoholics, violent environment. Move to US, being to far out to fit in. Enter drugs and more violence... If you have a bit of an idea about things that are connected together, how neuritcal behaviors come about, etc., you'll see some fascinating stuff here... A tortured soul, perhaps only calmed by music or silenced by dope. Music biz exploiting the artists. Also gives much insight into the NYC scene of 1976ff. But the most fascinating is the behavioristic mechanisms. How patterns - even hated ones - rematerialize in oneself's acts. How creativity and pain can interact and relate to each other in cases (but in my mind, you don't have to be pained to be creative). superstar 3/99 runs a little talk Sonny Vincent had with NY producer Daniel Rey, and Sonny asks about some NY-people. About Dee Dee, Daniel say, he's "painfully artistic".

Sounds really interesting - and hellish! Isn't it amazing how many stars come from backgrounds like that? I sometimes wonder how much of it is real and how much of it is Cinderella syndrome - some of it certainly seem to be flaunting it like some sort of accessory on talk shows and stuff. On the other hand, who knows? Perhaps growing up like that gives them a very strong will to achieve something better for themselves. 'Painfully artistic' - I find that rather poignant.

it is, and I don't think Dee Dee felt like Cinderella... But that book is good! Give it as present to somebody into punk, and borrow it...

I wish I were painfully artistic! I'm sick and damn tired of being broke and in debt.

ha-ha! And HEAR HEAR!

John, it wouldn't help you. Dee Dee was sick and tired, too . probabply still is. And his cash situation has - per his own accounts - never been great, courtesy of habits. He even wrote songs that were released by the Ramones after he quit to get some money...

BTW, Saturday Sep. 18 Dee Dee Ramone (born Douglas Colvin) is 47 years old (one year older than me). And I don't have habits, just debts. Kerry Livgren (Kansas) is 50. Carry on my wayward son There'll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Dont you cry no more. Decidedly unsilly and classic lyrics.

So, it's your birthday today, too? Or did I get that wrong?

No it's not my birthday, but I do see how you got that impression. Didn't mean to be misleading. Dee Dee is a little more than a year my senior, not one year exactly. But thanks for the thought!

Oh, John, you're such a YOUTH!

I'm glad SOMEONE is older than I am. My students tell me I'm ancient. They tell me the only reason I'm cool is I know a (co-worker) disc jockey they love who's 22. They tell me "My parents listen to you--sometimes"

Perhaps you should play some house or other current flavors?

I absolutely detest most rap and hip hop (our station plays it only at night--the jock the kids like, actually I have more listeners than he does, mine are just older). I do like some alternative rock, but would get fired for playing it on the air. Another station in town services that market--and I do tune them in myself. Love Matchbox 20, The Offspring, Blink 182, Fastball, Goo Goo Dolls, Soundgarden, Green Day...