Brainy Babes

I seldom read celebrity interviews, but when I do the star often comes off as either vapid or self-centered.

like me I'm both but the pooparrazzi made me who i am today the public is only too willing to shell out i'm only too willing to sell out in my next movie, nobody will wear clothes the producers don't care that that will reveal my true gender no one in the know is willing to predict what effect it'll have on my celery status, i mean celebrity.... i really wanna be normal and i just don't know how one fan told me to grow a brain and just see what happens i called my obstetrician about that today but it turned into phone tag

ha-ha!!! If only there were more celebrities like you! At least they would be more interesting. But it's true, Autumn, I find that too. The worst interview I've seen lately was with that girl from Deep Impact. She was appalling! Comparing her silly multi-million dollar farce with it's foul Hollywoody sentimentality to World War II. I was throwing strawberries at the screen!!

what a waste of strawberries!

Oh, not really. I don't mind eating my food from the ground. Licking it from the TV screen is no different really, except it makes you a bit dizzy.

I especially like licking strawberries from the TV screen when it is Sir Anthony Hopkins moving around on it. Sexiest man alive!

you shouldn't get so close to the tv... waves doing bad things to your body (of course there is a plus to that I suppose)

Oh, who cares - it's not like I'm planning to have anymore children or anything . . . though Mr. C. has been whispering 'boy' in his sleep, while groping in my direction lately . . .

*laugh* actually it was a joke in reference to my mother and father's protesting... "don't sit too close to the television, you'll ruin your eyes!" Riette... just say NO!

Oh, I don't have to - I just say YES as sweetly as I can, because I know I'm on the pill, and when and whether I have more babies is entirely up to me! Oh, the joys of living in the age of the woman!

Zoe was conceived on the pill... as were my twin sisters...

. . . as was my brother!! But if that happens to me, then I know it was destiny - free will can only be carried out SO far. There's no way I'm going to be celibate just to avoid having another baby, and I hate the idea of making love to an object inside a baloon. And spirals and caps border on the ridiculous if you think about it - I mean especially considering the discomfort in view of the fact that the pill is still the surest way. And, hell, what would Life be without risks anyway - certainly not my thing. I can take surprises like a man . . . uh . . . scratch . . . burp . . . fart.

Oh, and I wanted to ask whether your little sperms swim around in regiments, the first armed with little Cupid's arrows . . . I bet you blow on a whistle every time you make love to your wife to give the order for the next ambush . . .

???

I was told by my OB/Gyn (I know the guys will be leaving now, my husband is already running out of the room afraid that the next word will be "episiotomy", or something like it) that I've used up all my "quality" eggs and it's obvious by my cycle that I'm down to the mediocre ones. I'm so glad my children came from the good stock!

yeah, right, told you I have my own speculum, and have studied Dead Ringers quite rigorously...

Dead Ringers? Please explain! (I forgot about your little objet d'art!)

Movie about twin gynecologists played by Jeremy Irons...

Oh, I've seen parts of that! You have quite a stomach for all things...er...gynecological.

and various other body parts, as well...

Autumn, that's a good answer, which I shall remember. Mr. C. mentions the word 'boy' again, I'll just say that I'm nearly a quarter of a century old, and my eggs have passed their sell-by date, so there!

is there anyone out there?

sure - but it depends on WHERE you mean . . .

yep, some of us are really out there...

and some of us, well, aren't to be found at all at the moment . . .

tis true, tis true...

Maybe you're not looking under a small enough rock...?

or maybe you should look between said rock and the old pelvical hard place...

oops, meant proverbial...

ha-ha!! You realize that not a single brainy babe has found her way into this topic yet? My opinion of Hollywood is sinking deeper by the minute . . .

are we just too intelligent and babelicious to be counted Riette?!?!

*sigh*

You, Autumn and Wolf are simply beyond intellicence and babeliciousness, Stacey! As for me, I meet neither standard, so the topic's still open.

You, Autumn and Wolf are simply beyond intelligence and babeliciousness, Stacey! As for me, I meet neither standard, so the topic's still open.

See what I mean? Can't even press the submit button properly!

I thought you were one of the beautiful people, Riette...

OK, a brainy babe, david duchovny. course, he dropped out of school to become a, gulp, actor, but, does he fit this topic, oh, and he married the deep impact female type person who died her hair black, ok, maybe he doesn't. sorry..... yeah, reitte, you fit in a topic all your own. we should start a beautiful people topic and it'd probably rival People magazine and their so-called choices!

Oh, I'm sure. That is if you're talking about the kind of 'beautiful people' as portrayed in the lovely film with the same title by Jamie Uys . . . about animals of Africa, that is . . . ha-ha!!

would you say, then you most closely resemble the giraffe or the eleplant or the lioness or the hyena?

After the incident in the porch I think porcupine would be the most accurate discription. We used to keep one as a pet on my granddad's farm when I was little - that's where I must have picked up this tendency to stab . . .

it just takes some people longer to figure out which direction to rub you in is all...

Suppose so, but it shouldn't be neccessary for people to have to figure me out - I find myself so totally boringly straight forward. So where did you acquire your talent for rubbing porcupines, muffin?

practice, practice, practice... trial and continuing error... here and there, but mostly here... uh, I dunno...

Or perhaps it comes from all that kneading you do?

another typo... I think you meant either needing or pleading...

And what do you need so badly that you'd plead for it?!?! Surely it isn't necessary with a two feet spatula . . .

Sonja here: I agree with Wolf - David Duchovny is defenitely a brainy BABE. That guy is simply beautiful.

A brainy porn star? :-)

At a party the other night at Jim O'Briens someone was saying you could find your porn star name by taking your middle name and adding to it the name of the street you remember living on as a child, for example, mine is Terry Fieldcrest. What is your porn star name based on these criteria?

Ri�tte Barbette!!!!

LOL!!! It rhymes! As supposed to Sonja Barbette....

what if you lived on tons of streets as a child? ok, so mine would be wolf lorraine circle (only one i can remember right now)

Hey, that's not too bad!

Do you realize our other name would be: Sonja Rugby and Ri�tte Rugby? Rugby Ri�tte - remember, like in school????

Don't remind me.

Why not? Is your butt still hurting?

Y'all were rugby players?

Only she. Or rather she took a bet with a boy over who could kick a rugby ball furthest (we were 7). He kicked it pretty far. She kicked it through the window on the one side of the headmaster's office, and it didn't manage to come out on the opposite side, but it did crack up that window too. It earned her six of the best, great admiration from the other kids, and the nickname, 'Rugby Ri�tte'.

And may I ask what that has to do with 'brainy babes'??

Nothing - it amuses me to mention these things....

Naughty bugger!

Joyce Tydings. (Hey, come to think of it, I still live on Tydings Road!)

That's quite pretty though.

Blah! I always hated Joyce, and couldn't wait to drop it when I got married and take my maiden name for my middle name. What are yours & Riette's middle names?

We don't have any. Which is a good thing, because it's anybody's guess what Mom would've come up with next! I think Joyce is a beautiful name.

Terry, I don't think this middle-name/childhood street thing works. Not for me anyway. Does this mean I can't be a porn star and the world will never know my talents? Ed Major. Ed Race. Ed Monitor. Ed Dolphin. See, they don't work. If I had to pick my own it would be Randy Wood.

oh, it was middle name? well then, that would make a difference now wouldn't it? then mine would be Ann Lorraine Circle.... george, use your first name--- george major (oooo, now that has some authority to it) george race george monitor (????) george dolphin well, stick to the first one anyway (is ed short for edward? edwin?)

Hey, Ed Dolphin works, think of all the connotations?

ha-ha!

no no no, i don't want to go there, leave my little innocent dolphins alone please! *grin*

LOL! With Ri�tte my mom had trouble making her mind up between calling her 'Ri�tte' or 'Eli' - personally I wouldn't want either name!

I think mine would be Mike Pilgrim :-)

Terry, Flipper jokes?

ha-ha!

LOL, George, Randy Wood is a keeper!! Sonja, are Riette and Eli Dutch or African names? Of course Sonja is not uncommon, but I've never heard of the others. This would be a good time for Joyce to make a comeback, because there sure aren't any left (at least not under the age of 40).

Joyce is a lovely name - don't know what you've got against it. Or was it just over popular for a while? God only knows what kind of names Ri�tte and Eli are, Autumn. I don't think Mum knew either - she was probably feeling the need to call me something strange to make me look more exotic, since I was such an astonishingly ugly baby.

Alright where are the baby pictures? Let us decide.

Ha-ha! What is your brother's name? Hans? Eggbert? Floyd? Joyce just sounds so "fifties" to me, like Dorothy and Sharon. Ugh.

Fifties is cool, Autumn! Those are all great names! Our poor brother is called Douw Gerbrandt!!! ha-ha! Mom defenitely got worse with naming us!

i for one am getting sick of kirsten, brandy, brandon, hunter, brianna, and all those other 90's names. everytime i turn around another baby is getting one of those names. not gonna be able to tell them apart when they get to school. and, of course, please do not take offense if one of these names happens to be yours. i'm glad my parents decided not to call me henrietta (which they said was one of the choices)....

(from 'henrietta' to 'elke'... like hoot would say, 'that's a fur piece') joyce is kind of a frumpy name i guess for a girl... good name for a guy though (preceded with 'james', of course)...

LOL!

Henrietta??? $hit, that must be the origin of my name, you realize!!! Henrietta could've become rietta, and rietta could've become Riette, which then became Ri�tte to help with pronunciation! WHAAAAAAA!!!!! My name is Henrietta!!! �retching visciously�

no no no! i like your name, couldn't possibly come from henrietta. am glad my parents gave me a name that is/was original. i've only run into a handful of others. and i'll bet you can say the same thing too, huh? ree-head?? *grin* and i love your sister's name too-sonya: tell me, is it pronounced sawn-ya or sown-ya?

Wolf, my mother likes to say that someday the nursing home is going to be full of Ambers and Kaitlins.

ha-ha! Sonja is sawn-ya, Wolfie.

thanks, riette! and yes, i have to agree with your mother, autumn.

Amber is a horrible name.

i only knew one person named amber and that was back in high school.

When my kids were smaller, I used to take them to a playgroup for mothers and kiddies. And there was a woman with daughters named Flora and Fauna. Disgusting!

what? she watched too many episodes of the munsters!

one of my cousin's name is Amber Storm Desurne...

I know 2 Stormys.

flora and fauna? oh, god how horrible! lets hope she doesnt have any boys, she might name them Frick and Frack, Heckle and Jeckle, Chip n Dale....

(TOO MANY episodes of 'the munsters'???) (bite your tongue)

Stormy. Now THERE'S a name for porn.

That was the other topic, the porn star name topic, remember ... Your first name, plus the name of the street you live on as a child . . .

Ok to enter this response? y Warning: 4 comments slipped in ahead of yours at 93-96!

we have a special topic for our porn star names?

We've been talking about that somewhere. Maybe not in its own topic though.

I do not know whether I disturb you for my words. I am a new-comer and I want to talk something with you. I am interested in everything. I come from P.R.China. Welcome travel in China, I could be your guider. Thank your for time.

We would love it if you would be our guide and I'm very glad you're joining us, what are your main interests and what part of China are you from? Please feel right at home!

welcome to the spring!

are the celebrity nipples onerous only by silicon or they win value in the fan's eyes and opened mouthes

can you add a little more infor to your statement? I am finding it difficult to respond...

I don't believe silicon is implanted into the actual nipple, Don Juan.

I'm glad you understood him!!! I was trying to mind a working model so as to attempt to make sense...

mind=find, btw... so distracted I can't even type...

No, actually didn't understand a word of it, you see. Thought I was the only raving mad moronic lunatic around here, but whose gonna admit to THAT, I ask you?? So I went for the old wise-arse defensive act. Think it worked?

fooled me again...

wait, i wanna go back to silicon and where's it's implanted? can they take butt fat and move it to the front and up a bit (lot)???

How about a "Brainy Babes" Top Five?: 5. Jane Pauley 4. Meredith Vieira 3. Marcia Clark 2. Jodie Foster 1. OPRAH!

No Helen Gurley Brown in there?

I interviewed her once over the phone at KPOI in Honolulu. But the real HGB doesn't set my fantasies going as much as Natalie Wood's portrayal of her in "Sex and the Single Girl" did. But there's no "dead babes" category. Historical babes...yes. Somehow I don't see Natalie in that category--I haven't seen a bio of her on The History Channel. Marilyn, yes, but she was my Dad's fantasy, not mine. Oprah, I love. Fat, thin, whatever. And Jodie Foster gets my nod for covering a paper trail in a manner hat Richard Nixon could not. The press still can't figure out who's the father of her child. (Damn! It isn't me!) Back to HGB, I think maybe she's a "woman's babe." I do admire her brains, but in her current venerable state, she may be too intimidating to be labelled a "Babe." Just as Claire Booth Luce was an attractive woman in her day...but I don't think anyone would have dared give her the babe label. I thought about Gloria Steinem, but she might consider the babe label libel!

My Dear John, I put Olivier on my all time male babes list. It is permitted.