Riette Walton

her animal magnetism that alone makes me glassy-eyed and pygmy-oystered she takes me to wuthering heights then drops me into empowering spasms of the personal empirical always has me feelin pickled with delight she shines a floodlight on where I can step outa my plight and do what i might i feel her might and i can feel encircled, surrounded, all wrapped up in her love

ha-ha! Get outta here! We cowgirls aren't babes - we're homespun short arses!

"Even cowgirls get the babes," said Tim Robbins. I think it's their homespun short arses that does it. Anyone else feel that way? Babes say that cowgirls are more babe than they themselves are. Cowgirls say they been babes since before babes were babies. Willie says, "Don't let your babies grow up to be cowgirls." I say, "My willy is willy willy doin' willy all better now." Here's what I did: I swabbed me willy in hydrogen peroxide. Just the very tip end of it where it was hoitin' so baaad. Then I took my little tube of Neosporin (an antibiotic pain relieving ointment), just like nurse Riette suggested I do ("Use ointment on yer painful pecker, Tex!") ....and i took the nipple of the tube and inserted it a good half inch into the slit there on the tip of my willy... ...and as i withdrew it, i squeezed out a goodly amount of da ointment The results were almost instantaneous.....it fell off... No, no, it spelled relief for me in the moment i started squeezin'. There were no lapses, either. I believe it's a miracle. I called the Catholic Church and told them I'd witnessed a miracle. They asked me if an image of the Virgin Mary or any other virgin was involved. I said, "Does the virgin Jim count?" They hung up on me.

ha-ha!! Glad willy's better though. Thanks for the detailed discriptions, Tex. We all know exactly what he looks like now. He's upright with a slit at the top, and covered in something greasy and white . . .

Wer, what does "dela, dela, niangadela" mean?

Elakwabani?! It means, 'Content, content, I am content!' Why? You dela? (Though 'niangadela' might be spelled incorrectly - that's how the word sounds, but I'm not sure about the spelling at all. I have a better ear than eye for languages.)

Oops, sorry, Autumn, didn't see the question was meant for Wer!

Whatever! Thanks for the translation.

Any time. What are you going to do with it? I normally say it to myself when my tum is stuffed with strawberries and orange juice!

elakwabani?! means: don't buy the whole house, Autumn, just buy the bathrooms?!

Wrong. It means: Who's child is this? Like in - gee, that person is acting weirdly . . . Khuzani!!

Let me guess: God bless you! (like when you sneeze)

HA-ha!!! That's brilliant! I was just admonishing Jim, but I think for once an American came up with a better use for a Zulu word than the Zulus themselves!!!

Please pick Jim up off the floor Riette, he's liable to hurt his willy again. It's okay, we know you had no idea he'd react to admonishment so severely... I think it was the Zulu...

ha-ha . . . Jim . . .JIm? . . . JIM!! $hit, Stacey, I think he's having a severe mind strike, or is it pain? Perhaps I should have waited with that admonishment until receiving a detailed description of the state his willy's in now . . .

keeping screaming his name like that and I think his willy will be just fine! *laugh* *giggle* *snort* ahem!

ha-ha! And I thought willies were deaf . . .

oh, no...say the right things and/or in the right way, and they will pay attention to you all day...

All day? Talk about eager Willy Billy! See, it's something I could never understand - I mean how do Willies DO that? The Willy I'm aquainted with always seems to jump to attention at such totally weird moments - like when I'm furious with it's owner. And once in an art course we were doing acts, and I sat right in front of the model, feeling wicked. The guy dared look into my eyes, so I looked at his jewels, and pulled up a highly amused eyebrow, and woop! There Willy went, and the whole class was in stitches. I mean, don't you guys have any kind of control down there? Or does it just have a one tracked mind of its own? Weird!!! I shall have to do some more research, I suppose . . .

both...

Both? That sounds awfully philosophical - whether to act upon instinct or thought or free will(y).

free willy?

Didn't you read the other responses? We were talking about willies, their actions, reactions and erections . . . .!! I was just saying about how guys don't seem to have a hell of alot of control over that particular part of their anatomy. And I thought it may have something to do with instinct, thought and free will(y).

Riette... Free Willy is also a movie released in the US about freeing a killer whale (named willy) in captivity... the comparisons, innuendos and suggestions are indeed endless with a phrase like that... I LOVE IT! *laugh*

Me too! And I know about the movie. Laughed myself to bits over the shorts, and the deep voice or the presenter/narrator/whatever going on about a boy and his Free Willy. Gee, how are kids supposed to grow up with unpolluted minds if they're going to n ame a sop story Free Willy!!?

ok, i gotta ask, riette where in the heck are you? (country wise) and Jim, i'm glad your willy is better now.....i don't want to know anything else about it, although, i was quite curious the way you went on with your, uh, medical description, as to what exactly happened to it!

I'm in Switzerland, Wolf. Jim should be in the next Willy movie . . . 'Cure Willy'!!

and does this not bring new meaning to the movie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? *laugh*

ha-ha!!!!! And they expect people to watch it with a straight face!!!!! That's just about expecting the impossible.

or a children's story-Little Willy's BooBoo....

At least he had two Boo Boo's, not just one . . .

I hear the Riette babe has a scanner now . . .

Sure do. Pity I don't know how to scan through images . . . it's high time I prove to you guys that I'm no babe!

can you sit on a scanner for a picture like you can on a copy machine?

Coming soon to a theatre near you: "Free Jane Austen" "Jane Austen and the Chocolate Factory"

ha-ha!!!! to both of you! Well, Wer, your sitting on a scanner will certainly provide us with some interesting, and intricate background! My sitting down will only do one thing - ruin a brand-new piece of equipment!

i've seen riette. she's a *babe* :-))))) i've no idea about the rest of our spring-ladies, but if you're half as gorgeous as riette, you're mega-babes! :-)

How did you get to see her?

He used a telescope, and saw somebody else, I think!

riette posted me a picture of herself, to check whether her scanner was working. it is working. she's a chick :)

I'm still retraining myself to pronounce her name, ree 'head. ree 'head.

Oh, Terry, don't worry about that so much - you'll probably never have to pronounce it out loud. Names like these are better left unspoken!

No, it's a great name. Such an interesting pronounciation.

Am I allowed to post your picture yet, Riette? :) (it's still "Ree-ettah" to me, although I'm trying to change. It just doesn't look like "Ree-head" :-)

I'm sure there's some subtle variance that makes it just a wee bit different than a literal pronounciation of ree 'head.

yeah. i was thinking maybe "ree-hea'dah"

SURE you can post the pic, Mike, I don't really mind. It's not like one sees much of my face anyway. I'm no babe, but I'm not ashamed of it, and at least it will give the more ordinary looking women of this world someone to identify with after that picture of that Alicia Silverstone female person. Where do they FIND people who look like that?! Perhaps it'll also help you make up your minds on which pronunciation you'd like to use? I'm used to ree-head, but, hey, after seeing my picture, you might think the right pronunciation to bee ree-head-duh!, Terry. I leave it up to you. Please just don't expect some beautiful woman to pop up on your screen, because you WILL be dissapointed.

oh my love, you are sooooo wrong. and to prove it: The Wonderful Riette Walton

or, of course, I could always just provide the link to my own web site, which I actually know how to work :-) The Wonderful Riette Walton

hey, it's Stacey with short hair!!! it's odd finally seeing a face to go with the conversations... and I've done this several times now! okay, when do we get the full body shot sans izingubo? (or would that be sans okwokwembatha?)

ha-ha!!! Don't insult Stacey like that! No, you can ask her and Autumn for full body pics - don't have those of me! Chris would kill me! (For inflicting that on others!!!!) Ngiwakwa next door! The zulu gives you a kick, doesn't it?! But I am curious to see all of you too. And the good part is that I'm the UNbabe, so nobody has to be shy. Mike, can we open an album topic? For anyone who wants to show us what they look like. (Well, I know which one of you I would like to see there - you know, that one where you have those really groovy sideburns. That was really sexy!) And you can put yours in first to encourage the others. I think it will be nice to see who the people we talk to here.

why yes it does...I just wish it had a Zulu to English half... I can't look up what you're saying :-(

Wow, Riette, you look gorgeous! No question you belong in babes.

�big beaming smile� Thank God for men with strange taste in women!

thank God for tasty strange women, also...

too true, wer!

�smile� And what strange and mysterious creatures men are.

and what a sexy voice you have :-) a perfect mix of teutonic and african.

ha-ha! But seriously, do you know, people always think I come from Wales(!!!!!??) of all places. I've never heard the way people speak there - do they also speak a perfect mix of teutonic and Efrican?

Y draig groich will love that one...

Oh God, is THAT how I sound?!! 'Cos if I do I'm going to commit suicide by holding my breath until I die. Can't even make out what Y draig groich is supposed to mean - something vulger about groins?

VulgAr, that is. Damn.

you sound perfick, riette:)

It's the name of the dragon on the Welsch flag...

ha-ha!! A dragon called Groin!! Now that sounds VERY perfuck . . . . I mean perfick to me.

The only Welsh accent I've ever heard is from the film "How Green Was My Valley."

i had a welsh classmate when i was doing my A-levels. she was fanatically welsh, and was forever going on about how much better Wales was, and how much older Welsh was etc. She was a complete nightmare, and bloody annoying. That's the main memory I have of the Welsh. Although I have a Welsh tutor, who is a decent geezer. I guess that balances things out.

So that means if someone asks me if I'm Welsh, I should be offended?

depends whether you like welsh people, which on the whole, i don't. except when i do :)

Well, I don't know any Welsh people. Except for myself - when people think me Welsh. So on the whole it's a bad thing. Pirheps I sjould just speak wif the boer eksent from now on.

will it compliment my boor accent?

I'm not sure. Going to have to see a more concrete sample of your boor accent to be able to judge. Like Ugha-Ugha-ooma-rooma-tchitchi-booma or whatever.

i love the boer accent - it makes me grin :))

So you admit it - I DO have a horrible boer accent. Yuk! Never going to open my mouth again!

Now, we're going to need a recording to go with the picture! I must hear this accent!

No, plies, Sir, I do n�t want to bie �mb�rressed laaik th�t.

you only have a hint of it, and it mixes with the teutonic well :)

Now you see why I enjoy putting myself down!

Riette...you're beautiful!

Thanks, Kristen. It really is only the photo that must be flattering - I'm not at all beautiful in real life. I'm 24, and look 44.

The pic of you, Riette, in the photo machine with your sister and the one above show very different sides of you! In both of them, you look very nice.

You're beautiful, baby! And you don't look a day over 24.

Then I must have actually slept the night before that party!!! ha-ha!

Sonja here: Isn't she the most annoying person you've ever met??? She always makes those awful jokes about herself - utterly irritating when one has to live with her. And here is something I seriously don't understand. On Wednesday we were in some shopping mall, trying out perfumes and stuff, when some woman came up to us - said she was editor of some hair magazine. Then she asked Ri�tte if she'd be interested in modelling work for the mag, since she has a great face and gorgeous hair (when she bothers to comb it, that is). Take a guess at the answer Ri�tte gave.

lol!!!! I bet she turned her down flat saying "I'm ugly, I'm ugly!" when all of the chaps here (and now a model scout) say otherwise. Riette: One day you'll wake up and old age will have taken its toll; you won't be gorgeous any more and you'll have wasted all of those beautiful years. D.O.N.'T - it's an insult to those of us who aren't fortunate enough to be wonderful looking!!

riette approached by a model scout! what a great thing to have happen to someone. she has beautiful eyes framed by a beautiful face, perfect for modeling!

She said "You must be joking!"

I cannot believe this. I cannot believe you told them this, you blurter! Has the family not trashed me enough by now??? If only you could've kept quiet LIKE I ASKED YOU. �snort� And I didn't say any of those things - I said, 'Thank you, but no, I don't do that.', that's all. (God, am I THAT predictable??) Plus I said I'd pose if they'd leave out the face and only take shots of the hair - not that unreasonable if you take into account the fact that it's supposed to be a HAIR magazine, not a FACE magazine. And don't worry, Mikey, I'm not wasting any gorgeous years - I just CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME see myself in that role, that's all - covered in disgusting, sticky make-up on so e silly, glossy paper that makes one look like something one isn't; the very thought of it makes it difficult to breathe.

(If I'm not back by 12:00 tomorrow, please inform the police that my sister has killed me.) Two years ago my brother in-law sent her and Isa's picture in for a Mother and Baby competition; it was the only non-pro pic - and they won!

LOL!!! i dunno, not doubting riette as model material, but there's a thing going on in the malls here where people say you'd be perfect for a modelling job-let's go to my van and take some trial photos---AND the women go!!! what happens next is not a pretty site at all. they are kidnapped and...... so riette, you were just being careful (i'll stand up for you, even though i've told you you're beautiful)!! on the other hand--what about the real women modelling agency we were talking about? (riette?????)

Thank you, Wolf, thank you! I knew I could count on you! And yes, in our REAL WOMEN modelling agency there will be no make-up, and no fancy hair!

No models either; I mean how many women do you know (apart from yourself) who'd be willing to model without make-up on??? I sure wouldn't!

Well, that's why Wolf and I DON'T have a Real Women modelling agency, isn't it???

My point exactly. Why worry about whether you want to wear make-up or not when you can earn a load of money for little work in two hours??

You're too weird to argue with.

You're too kind.

Don't mention it.

Make up or none, you're both gorgeous :)

Awe, you're so sweet! Thank you, Mike.

Gee, are you alright, girl? Remember, you're supposed to say: No we're not, we're fat and ugly!

ha-ha!

we're not fat and ugly, we're voluptuous and stunning!

Tell me more about myself! *wink*

I vote with Wolf in response #102 :-) (see the new topic, btw)

That's cool, but not for real. I mean how many men think about short and fat as voluptuous and stunning. For myself I can count them on one hand: my husband (thank God!), George, Ray. That makes exactly THREE!! Know what I mean???

And don't forget the vicar boy!!!

Baah!

Hello neighbour! How are you? Just wanted to stop by and see how things are. Gotta go now, talk to you perhaps later?

Sure. Exactly how neigh are you - which city? And does this mean you're still talking to me?

Who, me? Always did. Though I get usually, huh, INTERESTING replies.

honest, you mean ...

...perhaps that, too. Now, would I know? (Noticed that this is the longest exchange we two had in ANY topic in which you didn't call me stuff or ridiculed me WITHIN 2 replies?)

Don't be so impatient - I'm just getting to that part! NO, sorry - I really am. I ridiculed you and called you stuff? WHEN???? Apart from the italian thing, when you patronized me?

Hoh! Hold it, Fury! You wouldn't guess it, but I had to look up that word. Well, I guess that it is what you read into it. I was trying to be friendly and help a fellow Springizen... (and for once not getting a log pulled over my head, which made me a bit, uh, CAREFUL and - one wouldn't guess - shy. For sure I got clobbered again...). You read so much into my mutterings - and you are so generous with the findings -, I was sometimes very much amazed about how things turned. Yeah. Don't know, I think we got off from a bad start.

But, Alexander, I do want you to know that I was just playing. Maybe I play too rough - I am sorry if I've hurt you by it. It really WAS just playing, not headgames. I just meant to tease you. You see, you do that thing, well, yes, you have a great sense of humour, but at the same time you are incredibly polite and careful, and then I thought ... well, then I just felt like teasing you. I'm sorry. Do you think maybe, instead of a BAD start, we could call it a 'frictious' start? Because friction is a misunderstood sort of thing. People think it's bad, when it's actually good. Because it creates warmth in the end, doesn't it?

Uh, heat, too... Right, I got extremely polite and careful, especially around certain Swiss residents, after I found out how mad I could get... and how easy... AND HOW HOT DAMMIT......!!!! AAAHHHH, a bucket o' water!!! Quickkkkkk!!!! Ahhhh! Yea, that's better. Sorry, my head was on fire. Happens sometimes (looks nice, smells bad). So you somehow do NOT see me as some genetically challenged, cyste-brained ogre from Outer Space come to bore the earth to death? Because that is how I felt you had me tagged...

I think if boils down to a difference in temperament perhaps. I live in Switzerland, but am African - and six years haven't taken the bush out yet; I have not grace, not elegance, not sophistication - I don't know how to do that. And I DO have you tagged already, so it's too late! But not the way you think at all!

I am doomed! It's even worse than I feared...

Fear what you will. All I know is that I invited you to come to Inner once - why do you think that was? Not that you'll believe the obvious answer, since you've now firmly established the notion in that head sitting on your shoulders, that we do and must despise one another. Such a pity - we could've lit a bonfire together!

Uh, watch that torch, willya, what do you think this bottle of spiritus is? Oh. You weren't teasing about that? Plus you remembered... Hmh.

I remembered. Maybe we should try again tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

Yes, I'm very tired, too. Sweet dreams to you, too. It'll be good for me to withdraw and cycle through some emotional states and see what comes out. Perhaps not tomorrow, but I'll be back, promised. But for now - the moon is up, and I'll be gone. Thank you...

and your all's start was nothing like Ree's and mine down in philosophy, huh, Miss Topic??

Oh, no! We two got on like a blazing house right from the start, didn't we? Flames of sweetness and light .....Right,, Mr. Roland - - - RIGHT???

Why, of course! You know I would NEVER disagree with you!!!

[thinks...] "KITCHEN-MAN"

Awe, but that was an AFFECTIONATE term, Mike! He was a guy, he worked in a kitchen, he called himself Kitchen Manager. I just did an abbreviation .... I could've called him Kitchen Hunka-Man - but that would be interpreted as being arrogant too. See? NO?

He's the man, the natural born kitchen man . . . (sung to BB King music).

YEAH! Just like that! Except he doesn't work in a kitchen anymore. Now we have to call him Cyber Man!

Does someone know something I do not know? He worked long hot killer hours in LI's kitchens last I heard...please let me know...!

I thought he quit months ago, and wanted to something to do with computers. Did he go back to LI?

a little 8-bar blues please... He got out of the kitchen Don't know how he stood the heat Steam from kettles a-boilin' Oven roastin' his meat... Went to work in an office Got a cursor that blips No more Kitchen Man toilin' Now that he's in the chips... No more slavin' over a smokin' stove Wer's a new man, praise the Lord He's the cookin' chef of cyberspace The Chairman of the Motherboard!

�hummin' along� Damn, if only I could reach C below middle C!

Then at least I'd be a tenor, and not merely a bad singer....

Great song, John! Surely becomes a number one hit - who's gone play with you?

We're all playing with him! This is the Spring - everybody's a player here! (Or did I get this wrong? Great lyrics, John! As refers to W., I'm afraid he's still at LI - at least I haven't heard of anything else...)

I don't know either...I just wrote the lyrics based on the posts I read...thanks!

The better the job you did, mate! I think he would feel honored.

No no, Wer is NOT at LI anymore! He quit, then had a jobless bit, then got a temporary computer-related job. Am I hallucinating all this??

No, you're right. Reread your line, says temporary there... I don't think something new came along since then (not that he hadn't tried).

WHAT??? Wer went BACK to that place? I thought he was still at the computer-job, and that he'd then be appointed on a permanent basis - like that trial period thing. How appalling that he is back at LI! He was miserable there!

He works 14 hours double shifts 2 days a week I read somewhere. Plus regular ones on the other days. He also works extra hours there when he can...as I understand it. Killer stuff!!!

That would make me miserable.

It makes me miserable just knowing someone has to do that... My empathy knows no bounds!

Lilitaly ain't that bad, it's good a nice mood and feel. I enjoy my sometimes repasts there.

But, whatzit like in Lilitaly's Kitchen?!

Probably hot and steamy.

You NEVER investigated?

Hot and steamy doesn't sound THAT bad....�smile�

She knows!

Yep! So, how would you describe YOUR work, Terry? Mine has adjectives like 'dirty' and 'sticky' - sounds remarkably like .... no, I won't be rude today.

Challenging and fascinating.

Give me challenging and fascinating over hot and sweaty or dirty and sticky any day...or night, for that matter...!

How do you describe yours, ree ree?

I already told you: dirty and sticky!! That's how I LIKE it. But challenging and fascinating sounds the healthier type of job to me. One that involves something a little cooler than co-ordination.

Where's ma neighboer these days?

Wondering the same thing myself... why don't ya run across the street(s) and knock on her door??

Uh, not sure that'll be smart... Loads of snow down yonder! Traffic jams on motorways inna post-christmas wonderland... Getting stuck fer HOURS... Thought askin' y'all be easier + faster.

HEy, but Terry shoulda kinda know! Terry?

I hear they're having extreme heavy weather in Switzerland and Europe, wave after wave. Hope our lil' Ree is ok. What did y'all want me to do now?

Investigate! Inquire! Report! Huh, what'd YOU think we'd say?

I'm a little worried, too! She's never been non-responsive for so long; I figured it was just college and Xmas keeping her busy, but now I'm not so sure.

Is this a mission for Miracle Terry, or what? I say: Yea!

On top of all that, we're having a nameserver crisis that makes y2k pale by comparison in our little world.

He rises to the occasion!!! Yea...Terry!!!

Yea Marci, she's back, and beautiful!

Yea Telnet! Thanks for the welcome. it is a lonely life outside of Spring. Thanks for the hoops you jumped through to get me in this far. Lots of Hugs and Kisses for that!

Now the next task, Mr Walhus... First find Miss R., then fix my post-Y2K-crashed notebook...

No joke, Ms. Ree Ree, come back little Ree Ree.

My dear Ree...Your gracious invite got me into the best conference here and we stumbled around under the same towel (while someone stood on the corner and caused a double exposure!)...I miss you! Bring that cute little self back here and let us fall all over ourselves welcoming you back - Pulllllease?!!!!

Just what I were about to say...

...minus the towel thing, of course. I don't know about any towels, but all the other stuff. You snowed in, Riette, and phone lines don't work?

Shall we string up tin can telephones? Send the St Bernards Squad complete with Brandy kegs to dig you out? Just send the word and we are on our way!!!