(Mari)I've been scooped! No way, Mari, you are my comedic inspiration! (Kathy)No matta how his fans may wisha He no like to do da kissa Droolers think some tongua mora Make de love scenes less a bora I love it! Well done, Kathy! (Kate)He no allowa do da kissa or LD say no do da kissa (Perhaps a sub theme of the party could be a collectively written aria?) I love this too, what a great idea for the party, Kate! Thanks for the link to OM, Mari. Wonder if Hillary and Livia have ever met? ;-)

Droolers think some tongua mora Make de love scenes less a bora LOL, Kathy--great stuff! You ladies have really gotten into the spirit of things.:-) (Lora)Wonder if Hillary and Livia have ever met? ;-) Actually, they have! Hillary came to the NYC premiere of Shakespeare in Love, as did Colin and Livia. According to the press reports, Hillary mingled with the cast at a pre-premiere party at one of the posh midtown hotels. I know we have pics somewhere . . . Anyway, sounds like maybe they compared notes? ;-) ;-)

Oh, gee whiz, Kathy you're killing me! LOL! Ok, here's my first tribute to "Opera Man": (borrowing shamefully from Adam Sandler) Liv con bambino Darce es el dad-doh Con-cep-tionee Itssah bologna!! No Tes-tos-te-rone-oh No Grande Stiff-oh Papa's Gonnad-ohs In Mama's Purse-oh!!!!!!!!! (waving hanky madly) Opera Man.. Bye BYEEEEEEEEeeeeee!!

Papa's Gonnad-ohs In Mama's Purse-oh!! ROTFLOL Jeanie! My face hurts from laughing. Molto bene!

Tears rolling down my cheeks. Boss say Byeeeeeeeee!!

[ to the tune of Dino's "Amore"] Tongua mora ... Make de love scenes.. less a bora ROTF...Lora...Kathy...Better watch out... youse gonna get in trouble with The Apologists. Good thing we're hiding out on #110 ;-))

(Lora) So who needs Italian, when you can do it Opera Man style So funny and clever. How about: (Louder)Puts his careera in a messa!!! Now it needs alot of pepsa. (Kathy) No matta how his fans may wisha He no like to do da kissa Droolers think some tongua mora Make de love scenes less a bora So funny: How about: Fans they like so much more nessy But he want to stay a dressy Da Bossa Lady "you must behave" "Si Cara Mia whatever you say." Good stuff ladies. Il Si Caro: The Yes Dear The Emasculate Conception Il Pussi de Whippa My favorites too.

...And who said, There are no real poets anymore? Thanks, Lora and Kathy. I'm determined to add some lines to this before the weekend is up. How about right now... So now he no do-a the drama Causa the wife says only rom-comma The fans they sure hope-a He no be a dope-a

Should read rom-com-a Sorry, but one must be critical of one's own work.

Phew! Y'all have been busy this weekend while I've been away! Lora, Jeanie, everybody - well, I just woke DH up from his nap because I was up here laughing so hard. I'll tell him it's your fault! So are we moving away from ocean liners and towards Italian songs as our theme? Though I suppose as long as it's an Italian ocean liner we can do both....

as long as it's an Italian ocean liner we can do both.... It works for me! ;-) We should each bring a song as a gift.

Oh no, shades of Dean Martin.

Yup, that's the song that's been going through my mind all evening.

I don't know what came over me! Did I say song?! Heavens, no! I meant poem. Everyone bring a poem. It can be something as silly as: actor tractor crushing roles

*shuddering* (Noooooooooooo!!!)

Let's not and say we didn't ;-)

OK, so I'm outvoted, still. Heehee. There once was an actor named Colin Who didn't like his name to be calling But what's in a name said Will Shakespeare When what really counts is not letting the signora ignora the actor named Colin forevermore. Now I will stop. ;-)

(Howl/Ginsburg) I saw the best minds of my generation turned by breeches, boots knee high, diving head first into a lake in white shirt trying to cool off, levelheaded women hoping for a glimpse of short socked white ankle, running up stairs, ................................feel free to continue

...gasping at long, sensual fingers touching a gloved hand, dark eyes glaring, smoldering in love, anger, frustration

You guys are too much! From Sandler to Ginsburg? Where to we go from here? ;-) Can't wait for the big bash. You ladies are so clever and CF seems to inspire us to recite in many poetic genres. (I was thinking today how Opera Man's hair could work for CF's hair for GWAPE ;-) - it's just like the hair of the Dutch Masters on the top of a cigar box!)

Just checking in to see how the decorating is going for the big day. Only 5 days left now. You all are very creative and it has been good reading.

...eyes sparkling and questionning dimpled cheeks rosely flushed hair wet and curly lips quivering.... tall and stately grace abounding the smile that melts my heart the man of my dreams...

Why is there poetry here? Sorry, but when I read that psychological profilers consider poetry and underwear the two scariest things that can be sent to a person from an admirer or fan, I haven't exactly encouraged that kind of thing here. Now, Opera Man's humorous arias were different IMO.

(Karen)psychological profilers consider poetry and underwear the two scariest things that can be sent to a person from an admirer or fan POETRY? The underwear, I understand. That would be a creepy thing to receive. But poetry? That's a surprise. I hope the Fibbies haven't been monitoring this site. Moon, still laughing over actor/tractor rhyme. Am picturing Colin as Jess, driving his John Deere across the field to pick up Jessica Lange...

LOL, Kate! Just checking in to see how the decorating is going for the big day. Only 5 days left now. The cases of champagne have arrived! Am working on setting up a Martini Bar by the pool. The Costa group have given us a choice of chefs, I have picked one from the Liguria region (hint, hint, Karen), we will have lots of lobsters, focaccia, and trenette al pesto. The freshest sushi will part of the aperitivo. Of course, we will have plenty of flavors of gelato, including mango. Which flavor do you think Colin might prefer? ;-)

(Karen) I read that psychological profilers consider poetry and underwear the two scariest things that can be sent to a person from an admirer or fan, I haven't exactly encouraged that kind of thing here. Gosh, I hope that the wearing of underwear while posting on Drool isn't discouraged as well! 8-D (Though given that I'm at work right now, that would certainly add spice to my day.)

(Rika) I hope that the wearing of underwear while posting on Drool isn't discouraged as well! 8-D Wrong again. Basic attire for Drool reading and writing is no underwear. ;-)

(Rika) I hope that the wearing of underwear while posting on Drool isn't discouraged as well! 8-D (Karen) Wrong again. Basic attire for Drool reading and writing is no underwear. ;-) That goes for *everyone* right, including YKW?

YKM, I'm an equal opportunity employer. ;-)

(Karen) Wrong again. Basic attire for Drool reading and writing is no underwear I am confused. Do I need to take off the rest of my underwear (bra goes as soon as I get home) and then wear something else (robe, sweats, T-shirt), or do I just take off everything??? I don't want to break any Drool rules!

Shouldn't we celebrate his b'day in our birthday suits. Seems only fitting ;-D

Well everyone, much as I hate to consider it, I may not be able to attend the one party for Colin I wouldn't have to attend surreptitiously. Work is calling me to Los Angeles for a weeklong meeting and it will be unlikely that I will have much time to check in. :-( You know how they love to fill *every* minute of your time. Sheesh!...just because they pay for everything they think I'm their slave. :-P My luggage is quite full now, so no room to bring presents with me. I was so looking forward to partying hardy! So please have lots of chardonnay and champagne for me....that way I'll be able to stand up and walk a straight line the next morning this time ;-D.

Mango gelato is fine with me, Moon. Makes you want to pucker up. ;-) Oh no, Dorine!!! It's not fair. Excuse yourself from the meeting, saying you have much more important business to attend to (*air smooch air smooch*) and will have your people get in touch with their people to set something up later. ;-) Am mixing up a batch of mojitos for the big day.

Am mixing up a batch of mojitos for the big day. I'll have one now, TYVM! ;-) Dorine, dear, you must find a solution!!! The boat will not stop over in LA long enough to wait, you must come on board at the right time.

(Dorine)Shouldn't we celebrate his b'day in our birthday suits. Seems only fitting ;-D LOL, and you have the nerve to say I pick out the risque stuff. (Dorine)That goes for *everyone* right, including YKW? It better go for YKW! (Karen)Wrong again. Basic attire for Drool reading and writing is no underwear. ;-) Suppose we're posting from work? Then wot? I start Monday-need advice v. soon. BTW,Moon, I love hazlenut gelato, can we have some of that too? Since DORINE is leaving, Rika and I will bring the coffees and lattes. We'll make sure they are v. frothy and tangy! We'll save you some, Ms.Executive.*snif*

Uh, that should read hazelnut. Still looks wrong. Anyway I still like it

Ok, so in keeping with my ethnic background, I'm gonna bring fried chicken, tea cakes and goo-goo clusters. (grinning) That's about as fancy as it gets here, so hopefully that will suffice. Besides, I don't condone eating anything that I can pronounce. (grinning) (Karen)(Karen)Wrong again. Basic attire for Drool reading and writing is no underwear. ;-) Ok.. but, I can still where YKW's underwear on my head, right?

Attention Firthettes!!! Join us on board the "Si Cara" on Tuesday September 10th for a "Turn the Ship Around" inspired Birthday Party for our dearest loveliest boy wonder, Colin Firth. And remember, all hands on deck. ;-)

The Observer Magazine If it's your birthday this week...(I'm just ignoring the fact that Huge Gnat's picture is below this) Sure, you've had a pasting this year but you've survived the Pluto-Saturn dust storm to tell the tale and, with any luck, passed 'Go' and collected �200. Pluto, the planet that wants power at any price, remains active in your chart for months yet, so issues surrounding autonomy are not going away. Since you are a nice-guy Virgo, you know better than to act like a power-crazed idiot. If you're dealing with one, negotiate. Relocation, if you seek it, is favoured in the next six months.

Beautiful colors Karen!! Thanks for the horoscope, Emma.

(Moon)And remember, all hands on deck. ;-), The whole time? geeze.

In case anybody wants to know, the official celebration starts on 10 Sept at midnight BDT (not GMT). Adjust your clocks accordingly.

And, ladies, the party invites have been sent out: http://www.firth.com Lots of last minute presents to pick up...plus the cake!! Liquor store already made its delivery so am all set up (looking for jar of olives). ;-)

v. clever, Karen! My first CF birthday party.... I'm so excited, no wonder I can't sleep!

Whew! Managed to slip out for a few minutes.... (Moon) And remember, all hands on deck. ;-) Is that the only place hands can go? ;-P Thanks Rika and Linda, my latte buddies, for picking up the slack for me with the coffee and lattes. :) Back to the grind....*sniff, sniff*.....

Hang on Karen! You're going to make me calculate from Aussie time to BDT???? ***Sigh....*** (Moon) And remember, all hands on deck You don't mean Colin's hands too?

Hmmmm... I'm gonna just assume, since I am the ignorant hillbilly of this group, that "BDT" would be London time. If I am wrong in that assumption, please do clear up my confusion as best you can. (grinning) So, let's see, (looking at clock and adding six hours) that it's lunch time in the land of Colin. hmmmm.. (attempting to decide whether or not to take dramamine and risk falling asleep during Linda's naked macarena, or just throw caution, as well as the contents of my stomach, to the wind and attempt to overcome my sea sickness.. hmmm.. very risky)

(Dorine) Thanks Rika and Linda, my latte buddies, for picking up the slack for me with the coffee and lattes. :) Dorine, I assure you, we've been making diligent preparations for the event all weekend. We even made an acquisition to ensure that our coffee service would have the level of professionalism required by the occasion.

Virgo, you know better than to act like a power-crazed idiot. If you're dealing with one, negotiate. Relocation, if you seek it, is favoured in the next six months. ROTFLOL! Si, cara (Moon) And remember, all hands on deck. ;-) (Dorine),Is that the only place hands can go? ;-P (Linda), The whole time? geeze. (Lisa), You don't mean Colin's hands too? Heehee, I get him first. ;-) There is that old story of kissing lessons. ;-) Yeah, Karen! Love the invite! Colin has actually taken over the Bucket. :-D

(Moon) Colin has actually taken over the Bucket. :-D He has always been The Bucket since Day 1 for the cognoscenti ;-)

Karen/Moon - I will plead ignorance of "BDT" and add that like Dorine I am also tied to a grindstone with the proverbial tyrannical master at the wheel, so as as this may be my only chance to send my greetings today and as it is already long past midnight Down here, I will be the first one at the docks/pier to celebrate the "Turn the Ship Around birthday party" Dear Colin I have but a simple bunch of flowers and heartfelt wishes for you. Alas - I will not be able to stay for your party as duty calls for me to be someplace else... but wait! I do have a proxy to help you and my sister firthettes to turn that ship around Happy Birthday, Caro!

3 hours & 40 minutes to go!!! (slathering on sunscreen)

Happy 42nd Birthday, M'DEAR!!! Whooo-hooooo!!!

So very clever Minkee. Karen WONDERFUL Bucket page. You are so very, very talented. HAPPY, HAPPY, BIRTHDAY, MR. WONDERFUL!!!! THANK YOU FOR SO VERY MANY HOURS OF PLEASURE AND ENTERTAINEMENT. PAM

Thanks for the picture, how very yummy! And to Colin, the author of our feast (the main course at our feast?!) Happy Birthday!

It's well past midnight here in the UK, so I'd like to wish ODB a very happy 42nd birthday.:hug

Happy Brithday Colin!

Sorry can't type, one more time, Happy Birthday Colin!

Happy Birthday Mr. Firth!

this is the picture i wanted to use, but it doesn't seem to work! alas. cheers anyway! ttp://www.eeyoreshideaway.com/eeyore/cgi/index.pl?file=display_image&id=6

http://www.eeyoreshideaway.com/eeyore/cgi/index.pl?file=display_image&id=6

OOOPS. My first ODB birthday celebration, and I forget the two most important things. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLIN, dahling. Please don't get too tired with the kissing lessons. There's lots more to come. and to close the tags! am v. excited.

Reposting Linda's from above: (Dorine)Is that the only place hands can go? ;-P See what I mean, Dorine. (Jeanie)or just throw caution, as well as the contents of my stomach, to the wind and attempt to overcome my sea sickness.. hmmm.. very risky) Make sure you throw it to the wind. Who said I'm doing the Macarena nekid? I only do that in Morocco.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!!!!

Happy # 42 Colin! Our lovely boat the "Si Cara" has just picked me up. http://www.charterauction.com/images/GlobalExpress.gif And if I'm here, you know we must be in the tanti baci Heading to the Martini Bar. Your gifts will be delivered much later. Ciao tesoro, a pi� tardi. :-D Auguri di cuore!

This was my port of departure, lucky me!

We're waiting for you, Moon: I've already ordered for you *hic* Colin is going to have to catch up quickly. ;-)

Some day I'll have something half as clever as the rest of you to say here, but for now, I'll just have to settle for Happy Birthday Colin! :)

(Jeanie) or just throw caution, as well as the contents of my stomach, to the wind and attempt to overcome my sea sickness.. hmmm.. very risky You weren't supposed to eat all that food by yourself -- you were supposed to share the fried chicken, tea cakes and goo-goo clusters! I don't think CF is awake yet. Perhaps Lisa should sneak into his bedroom and blow a noisemaker right in his ear. Startled, he'd probably jump right up out of the bed, and who knows what Lisa could report to us?! ;-)

Happy birthday, Colin! Now, dahling, listen to the cruise directors here at Drool. We'll be offering good wishes and a little birthday advice, too. As a veteran of many cruises, I can tell you that arts and crafts time on the Si Cara will be LOTS of fun. So, relax, enjoy the waves, and here's a little something to help you get ready for your role in GWAPE.

Have a great birthday Colin! And stay away from Richard Simmons on the Si Cara And how about some French lessons: Bonjour! Je m'appelle Colin Firth. J'ai quarante-deux ans et aujourd'hui c'est mon anniversaire. :) Come on to the lower deck for costuming and non-verbal French...

Wanted to drop this off while I have a moment, to help ensure the Si Caro makes its turn toward Dramaland.... As I'm unable to stay to navigate myself, I'm leaving my trusted assistant Michelangelo with this sextant in the event the shipboard computers malfunction.

Had time at lunch to run out for a few small decorations

Just before my dinner meeting, I had time to sneak out to get your present. I thought you could use this to help you prepare for any roles as a mute, deaf or otherwise, you may look for that I'd be willing to bet would bring you the big awards and recognition you deserve. When we meet again at your next premiere in NYC, I'll quiz you to see how well you picked up the sign language and tutor you if needed. You appear so good with your hands in other activities, I'd guess you wouldn't have a problem with this. But just in case, I'll bring my teaching assistants, Rika and Linda to help us out. I bet eight hands could be more fun and educational than 4. Happy, Happy 42nd Birthday, Colin! Thank you for the variety of entertainment you've brought to all of us. You just keep getting better and better!

OMG�.!!!!!!!!! I got hungry when I was at work in North London today and could not contain myself. Gasp! I saw this great cake on the counter. Sob! I couldn�t hold back. Blast! I ate over half of Colin�s Birthday cake! (I am a bad bad girl! I deserved to be spanked!) Now, I must replace this before the big "do" tonight. What would Colin prefer????? Strawberries???? Humm, could be fun eating it! A Mocha Ice Cream Cake???? Possibly, he could get his caffeine hit! Oh , but what about chocolate???? Perhaps�.. I�ll run out to the bakery now and see what I can find!!!!!!!!!

Have a Happy Birthday, Colin!!!!

Attenzione!!!!! Reading this parody may cause tea and coffee spewing, coke spraying, or even wine spurting. It may make you choke with laughter, or even want to choke us! It might remind you of certain people whose names you would never want to hear associated with ODB ever again. And you might want to have a bottle of Windex and some paper towels handy before you begin. Go ahead and get them, we will wait.         All set? OK, then. Andiamo! Nightmare in North London: A Trilogy The Nightmare Begins     The fine mist of a salty sea breeze smacked Colin straight in the face. He sat up and looked around in confusion, shouting, "What the hell is going on?" The bed seemed to have turned into a boat, one that was rocking and rolling from an entirely different activity than one might think. The waves lifted up the bow, which was inscribed S.S. Si Caro, then let it crash down with a splash as the crests disappeared. He shook his wife furiously to wake her up. "We�re out on the high seas!" "Si, si, I know! We go out for the Indian food to celebrate il compleanno, your birthday. You know the restaurant, she has the candles on the tables." Why is she dressed in a sea captain's uniform? He looked down and saw that he was dressed in his own Sunday best. "Give me that spyglass," he insisted, and took it from her. "This boat isn�t going to the restaurant! We're setting a course straight home," he yelled. "And now I�m craving some turkey curry!" He wore a decided pout on his handsome face. As the boat docked beside their front door, Mary Elizabeth jumped out from behind the shrubbery with a brightly wrapped package in her hand and shouted, "Happy birthday, old friend, I brought you something patriotic." She saluted him grandly, which looked very silly since she was in a rather odd costume. Oh boy, a fancy dress party! Colin ripped open her gift to discover a Union Jack folded neatly within. The sea seemed to have disappeared, revealing a crew of workmen, who were busily digging a hole in the middle of his front garden. He watched in disbelief as they poured a concrete base and inserted an 8-metre tall flagpole into the hole. He gave the workmen the flag to hoist, and saluted smartly as it was raised. His wife and their unexpected guest laughed as they went into the house arm in arm. He trailed along behind, and noticed his wife had changed from her sailor suit into white go-go boots and a mini skirt. I wonder if those come in my size? His own clothes seemed to have changed, too. Oh lord, not the codpiece. Well, I guess this means we aren�t going out to eat! His front door swung open to reveal an entrance packed with people. "Happy Birthday, Mr. Darcy!" They blinked in surprise when they saw what he was wearing and shouted, "Happy Birthday, Count Wessex!" The room was filled with old friends, all in fancy dress. So touched was he that he sniffled with emotion. The rich aromas of Italian food were coming from the kitchen, and the Chianti and Lambrusco were flowing. Damn! Not Italian food again! Before he could go any further, Mikey fought his way through the crowd, carrying the tail of his rat costume. "Colin buddy! Another year older! I didn�t really know what to get you," he said, wiggling his whiskers in a most ratlike way. Binder put his tail in Colin�s hand, then saw his mistake and quickly exchanged it for a rope. He leaned in and whispered confidentially, "Let�s talk later. I�ve got the hottest project yet! You'll want first crack at this one. It's called �The Story of Coach Muto.� It's about a mute who's so crude he turns all the women off, but winds up with a tall blonde anyway. Your gestures will make the film." He walked away swinging his tail, and Colin looked down at the rope he was holding. It was attached to a goat that was staring at him blandly and chewing on a copy of yesterday�s Mirror. "A goat?" he wondered aloud. His wife came up and said, "Caro! Il capretto! Is perfect gift! We no need the gardener any more. I fire him in the morning." She sashayed on over to welcome Kenneth, who was dressed like a Nazi officer, but talking about the Tuscan countryside. An envelope appeared in his hand, inscribed "Best wishes from Evelyn." Wasn�t she my co-star in Femme Fatale? She was a hottie! Or was she the tea lady on Fever Pitch? Hey, she�s the one who's offered to be my publicist! I really should call her. Inside was a pair of theatre tickets. Great, I love Shakespeare. "Hey Ken, how about going with me to see Hamlet?" Ken nodded and waved, but continued to babble on about Italy. He had a particular passion for olive oil. Colin looked down and noticed that the goat was now chewing on his shoes. Before he could deal with the pesky beast, the phone rang. "Dahling! For you!" his wife sang out as she put the receiver into his hand. "Colin," he heard O�Toole�s distinctive voice crackling through the long-distance connection. "I heard it's your birthday. And I've been meaning to tell you something. You know that bit about �one for show and one for dough�? You did know I was only kidding, didn�t you dear boy?" Colin hung up to the sound of the venerable actor's laughter. Dragging the goat along behind him to keep it away from the furniture, he set out to mingle with his guests. Every time he moved he had to apologize for hitting someone with that damn sword, not to mention pushing the goat away to stop it from nibbling on the hem of his doublet. He tried to make his way over to a trio he saw in the corner, overhearing snippets of his guests' conversation along the way. Andrew was dressed like an Oxbridge professor wielding a megaphone, and Crispin was wearing a frock coat and breeches, looking very much like Mr. Bingley. "Hey, great costumes!" Colin complimented them as he passed. "What costumes?" they answered in puzzled unison. They continued talking; Crispin seemed to be having problems with a scene from his latest project, and Andrew was more than happy to give him some advice. "Simply visualize that you have an erection and go with that motivation. The scene will be perfect." Colin recognized it as wise counsel; Crispin seemed somewhat confused. But when Colin nodded in agreement, so did he. He finally made it across the room to Salman, Nick and Lord Archer. Salman was dressed as a mullah, and Nick looked horribly mismatched; the Red Sox jersey and cap did nothing for the Arsenal shorts and socks. Jeffrey had been let out of Belmarsh just for this occasion, so he didn�t need a costume; he wore his prison uniform and fitted right in. Colin was somewhat in awe of this collection of great authors, and his mind went blank when he approached them. Since he could think of nothing else to say he asked, "Do you know where the loo is?" Thankfully, Salman did, and he hit them all with his sword as he turned away to find it. Then everything faded away to blackness as he fell back asleep.   Fine prima parte

ROTFL!! LOVE the pics, chili!!! Since I don't know how to post with amazing graphics, I'll have to keep it simple: (BIG smooch!!) HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!!! Use your birthday wish well!!

Carissimo Colin, we always use your birthday bash to roast and toast you, and you must know it is all in good fun. Now come by the pool with me, we need to talk. Looking back this year I have learned a few new things about you: 1. You can draw! 2. You can write! 3. Your fav. food is Moulakhie. 4. Your son was saved by Spider-man. 5. You love doing rom/coms! 6. You�re a prude (pending the towel and bed scene in Hope Springs. ;-) 7. You hate your name. 8. The kissing lessons didn�t pay off. 9. You make a funny odd couple with Rupert Everett (but have you seen him in chains? 10. You might move to Rome. We have also been burning lots of candles this year in the hopes of you aggressively pursuing a DRAMATIC ROLE. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind� lalala. As is my tradition, my gift of cd�s starts with Norah Jones. The latest Jonathan Richman and in keeping up your Keith Jarrett collection his latest trio effort. My biggest gift this year is this jet. I have tried it out and you will love it! Now there�s no excuse to miss any audition or screen tests. Location, location, location. Fly baby! Now let�s have some champagne, sushi� Buon Compleanno!

In honor of your special day, Colin, your personal LD's (No, not your wife, your Latte Divas) have decided to take our coffee-service capabilities to a higher level of excellence. We have purchased the La Pavoni Europiccola "Romantica Commedia" espresso machine. We will now be able to meet your needs - um, your coffee-related needs - at any hour of the day or night. And we do mean any hour. Also, to commemorate this special day, we have created a Latte di Giorno just for you: the Si, Cara Latte. This frothy drink is hot, sweet, and just a little tangy-the perfect libation to enjoy with pillow talk. Happy Birthday, Colin, from your LDs Rika and Linda, Dottoressas di Latte

Great party, ladies! Glad to see you managed to sneak away, Dorine, to join in. Loved the book. Let's hope...NOT! Lisa, would you believe I had that same cake saved for another auspicious aussie event?? ;-) chili front!! What a hoot. Good thing you gave us that warning, as I carefully set my coffee down. Wouldn't want to short-circuit anything today. ;-) (PO'T) You know that bit about �one for show and one for dough�? You did know I was only kidding, didn�t you dear boy?" Colin hung up to the sound of the venerable actor's laughter. *snort* Loved the pic of MEM (a treasure, surely, a national treasure) and what can I say about the ratman. *hee hee hee* so very appropriate.

Looking forward to "la seconda parte." ROTF! Hello Peter!

Happy birthday, Colin. We've gotten back together today to give you a very special gift, your very own: A Goldfish Called Colin We avoided the green ones because they're not ripe yet.

I didn't think the party would be complete without Nessie. In honor of your special day, Colin, this elusive sea creature has come all the way from Scotland to board the S.S. Si, Cara. Nessie will keep you company while you play naked in the puddling pool-sipping the Latte di Giorno. Happy Birthday, Colin!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN! This is the best I can manage. Hopefully I can bring some presents next year. What a great party! A big international bash for ODB! Wonderful graphics & stories, everyone. This is sooo cool!!

So, for your birthday, Colin, I'm giving you lessons on How To Turn Around the Si Cara. First, you're going to need a captain's hat. It is an essential item. However, should you prefer to work on this problem in period costume, here's something that might suit you better. But remember, the Si Cara is not only off course, but it is heading backwards, so I'd advise a newer model for your future voyages. Remember, that hat means you're in charge. No one onboard has more authority than you. Next, we're going to familiarize ourselves with bigger boats. Here's my friend Enrico, who will take us into the area where you'll be in command. This is the Bridge, not to be confused with the Bridget. There are lots of complicated dials, buttons and readouts, and so many monitors. But you needn't worry because there are trained professionals who will watch them for you. All you need to do is bark out orders, like turn left, probably a favorite of yours. Now that you're on the bridge, I've enlisted a couple of veterans to give private instruction on commanding large vessels. Again, if you've opted for the period look, here's your man: While his approach might be considered a little brusque and his crewmembers didn't support him 100 percent, you could learn a lot. If not, I suppose you will get used to the native entertainment on any of the islands they leave you on. But if you want to brush up on some more modern equipment, here's your man: Like you, Colin, this man became so totally identified with one television role, so it would seem a natural fit. Besides, I hear Isaac makes a mean martini. In fact, the whole crew has been summoned to help you, as turning the ocean liner around is our first priority: In order to practice all that you've learned today, you'll have some time for simulation in the privacy of your own bath. And, finally, Colin here is the Tugboat Drool, which is standing by to help push you in another direction:

I see we have moved into the dining room. � buona la torta? The Si Cara seems to be set in its way, so here's another tug boat to help it turn.

Nightmare in North London: A Trilogy     The Nightmare Continues Colin awoke to a horrid smell, not to mention a wet cheek. He opened his eyes and screamed. Why is this goat licking my face? Then he remembered he was missing his own birthday party, and grabbed the goat�s rope as he hurried out of the loo to get back to the action. He was stopped along the way by that little Italian tailor, who wanted to remeasure his inseam. The tailor made some notes and muttered "Ha la grillione!" under his breath, which Colin translated into something rather vulgar. He studied the writing on the tailor's notepad. What the hell does 'commissioned by Drool' mean? Then the tailor gave him the measuring tape as a birthday gift. Well, that's good; it seems like someone's always asking for one of these. The doorbell rang, and in walked a messenger with a big box. "Is there a Colin here?" The delivery man laughed. "That's my dog's name." There was nothing for it but to raise his hand and say, "That�s me!" "Hey, you even look like my dachshund, too. Sign here," the courier instructed and handed over the carton. Inside was a gift from someone who he thought sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn�t quite connect the name with a face. Whoever �Rosie� was, she had sent him a brand spanking new laptop computer. "Wow!" He plugged it in and shooed the goat away to keep it from slobbering on the screen. It connected immediately to the Internet, but for some reason he could only get to one particular website, no matter what he typed in. He was soon immersed in reading a rather wild tale about Hong Kong. Why do I have this sudden hankering for mangoes? He was so absorbed in the story that he missed seeing Hugh come stumbling through the door. The man hadn't been invited, and he was quite obviously drunk. He isn�t even in costume! At least he brought his own champagne. Hugh immediately headed to the kitchen and set his sights on Livia�s mother. "Hellooooo, mummy," he began, then started inquiring about her underclothing. Within seconds, Hugh was leading her up the back staircase, champagne and glasses in hand, to the sound of girlish giggles. In the meantime, the trio of notorious authors were pushing him away from his new laptop. They were totally engrossed by the rom-com on the screen, so he left Archer holding the goat and went in search of a glass of vino. As he entered the kitchen, a wave of floodlights outside switched on, illuminating the entire street. The inside of the house was as bright as the lights at a Leicester Square premiere, luring all the guests to the windows. Whatever was coming was clearly a spectacle not to be missed. A golf cart came roaring down the middle of the otherwise deserted pavement, and a disembodied loudspeaker blared out "God Save the Queen." Everyone inside the house clapped furiously as they recognized Judy and Rupert. Judy gathered her skirts and made a regal descent from behind the wheel; Rupert simply jumped off the back and saluted the flag. Their costumes were splendid, elaborate full length gowns complete with sparkling crowns. Rupert wafted a hand in the air and trilled "One can never have too many queens!" "Where is the birthday boy?" Judy inquired imperiously. She indicated he was to kneel before her and she pronounced, "I hereby command you to enjoy your party, my dear boy. And I picked up a little something for you the other day. Now, rise from your semi-recumbant posture, and open your gift." With that she tossed a wrapped package at his feet and moved to stand beside Lord Archer, for despite his recent run in with the law, he was the only member of the peerage in the room. "Get that goat away from my cake," Colin bellowed across the room, realizing that he should never have trusted a politician, even to watch a goat. He struggled to open his gift from the Dame, just as Hugh came down the stairs with his wife�s mother. They were laughing and joking. Cazzo! "What are you doing here?" he insisted. "This party isn�t for you. Your birthday was yesterday. And, what, may I ask, have you been doing upstairs with my mother-in-law?" "Oh, calm down, Pencil Legs," came Hugh's flippant reply. "That�s Signore Pencil Legs to you," Colin snapped back. "And get away from la suocera," he growled. "Or what?" Hugh challenged with that really smug look he always seemed to get. Thankfully, the assembled partygoers burst into "Happy Birthday to You" and insisted that both men join in the song. As the last strains of the festive refrain faded away, he fell back into the black void of dreamless slumber. Fine seconda parte

He studied the writing on the tailor's notepad. What the hell does 'commissioned by Drool' mean? ROTFLMAO!! ;-)))))))) a disembodied loudspeaker blared out "God Save the Queen." Everyone inside the house clapped furiously as they recognized Judy and Rupert. Rupert wafted a hand in the air and trilled "One can never have too many queens!" *coughing* Great story Chili Front! Am on edge of chair, waiting for your next installment.

ROTFL! Great stuff chili front. I can't wait to see the next part!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!!! I had no time to shop or get a card, so all I can give you is a ludicrous amount of my respect and hope that this is enough to turn the boat around.

Love all the stories and pics! LOL about jet, lattes, Captain Stubie (sp?), and trilogy! Here's a little something for Captain Colin on his 42nd birthday! Captain Colin, it's time to turn that ocean liner around! So use your row boat from the BJD mini break as a tug boat (BJD was supposed to be a "vehicle" to other great roles, wasn't it?) and turn the S.S. Si Cara around like the ant who moved that rubber tree plant! You can do it! (picture of Colin in row boat from BJD, which I couldn't find :-( ) Row, row, row your boat Gently out to sea. Use it to turn the S.S. Si Cara A full 180 degrees! Row, row, row your boat And earnestly decide Whatever role is best for you Without Dott.ssa at your side! Row, row, row your boat Gently out to sea Now choose a drama with good karma And Oscar quality! Those are my wishes for you, Colin, on your 42nd birthday! Nothing like a boat ride to help a man clear his mind and help him make decisions. May you make many wise choices this year! We'll be watching ;-)!