(Lora) picture of Colin in row boat from BJD, which I couldn't find :-( *Slaps side of head* Forgot to add that to Colin's nautical CV above. (BTW, you should've emailed me. Have lots of them.)

Chili...whoever you are...you've been lurking out there a long time and know us v. well...Hilarious. "Pencil legs."ROTF

Great stuff, ladies! The best parties on are 110.;-) Chili, do you clean houses in North London, by any chance?:-) Bring it on!

Stop Everything... a parcel just arrived : ...Your spectacles are in HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLIN FIRTH, 000-245-6895 The National Health Service

My warmest greetings to Chili. I hope there is a Terza parte. Cazzo! I can't believe he said that! LOL! I have just managed to get te Incredible Hulk to jump on the tug boat to help turn the "Si Cara" around. ;-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLIN Greetings from.... THE TONGUE BRIGADE We can hope, can't we;-)

Some other things I learned this year. 11. You sing like a Beatle. 12. You�ve embraced the bourgeoisie. 13. You�ve learned to live with Mr. Darcy. 14. You�re chilling with the Travolta crowd. 15. You helped discover Minnie Driver. 16. Co-starring in a smash such as BJD did not help much. 17. You don't belong to the tongue brigade. :-( 18. You drive a VW. 19. You drive me nuts. ;-) 20. Loro drive you nuts. ;-))))) Caro Colin, can�t party with you today because it�s also my guy Ritchie�s birthday. Ciao, ciao. And remember, we must do a movie together, darling. Sorry Col, but today is also my Ryan�s birthday. Sheesh! What a coincidence. Blowing air kisses. Catch them if you can. Heehee.

(Mari)Chili, do you clean houses in North London, by any chance?:-) Bring it on! I wondered the same thing. LOL, ladies. I love this party. Now, I'm off to the bar. Moon, when you're finished with the lessons-can I be second to try him out? I want to respectfully put the boss first-unless she's too busy with the martinis.

NEWSFLASH: The Si Cara has dropped anchor due to an emergency onshore shopping expedition for script-reading supplies . . . In the confusion of the disembarking process, Mr. Firth was instead hustled aboard this ship. . . . . . which is headed in the right direction. Onboard entertainment featured this woman . . . . . . singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. FIRTH

OK, who on this ship snapped The Captain seabathing on his birthday?

Reposting Pam's message from above (today, I delete any messages with unclosed tags...) Response 712 of 712: FanPam (FanPam) * Tue, Sep 10, 2002 (13:52) * 6 lines COLIN, HAPPY, HAPPY, BIRTHDAY. YOU ARE TRULY BLESSED TO HAVE SO MANY WONDERFULLY TALENTED WELL-WISHERS. ALL THE BEST. LOVE, PAM

LOL! Loved the birthday message from the NHS! And the script-reading supplies, Mari! *hee hee hee* Having a great time here, today! We're nowhere near done. [one little admin note: please try to select images of manageable sizes, i.e., under 100K] The sheer quantity of images used today is enough to send most of our computers to nursing homes.]

Happy Birthday Colin Firth Please don't take this ship, it is the Titanic Take this new ship to go to wherever your birthday wish might be. Do you remember your American pal? Turn your ship around, go to TEoR !!! She's desperate, "Colin, I beg you!!!" I hope this works

Yo, Colin.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY From the gang at the Earlham Street Pub

Try the last part again. cross my fingers Turn your ship around, go to TEoR !!! She's desperate, "Colin, I beg you!!!"

This is fantastic! Can't wait for the third story installment. Brain fried by day at work does not allow much creativity, but I must say at least something. As I thought about the big day today, I realized that although I feel I hold values of equality, anti-oppression, etc., and although I love Colin's acting and characterizations, his politics, his story-writing -- ultimately...mmmm...those eyes...that voice...that walk up all those stairs...I can go on...but I won't!...yumma yum... Happy birthday to the object of my objectification! (v. shameful! but can not be helped)

(Karen), Having a great time here, today! We're nowhere near done. That's right, We're working on our 6th Martini. Here's another stop.

Geez, I kept messing up with my post. Take this new ship to go to DRAMALAND(I like this word;-)) Got to go back to the meeting my boss is calling

GO COLIN!!! BIRTHDAY GREETINGS. Shame your favourite newspaper could only list your name and not your face today in its birthday column! Here's to your role as a gorgeous red head. I can't wait! Ladies, a fantastic party , love all the fabulous graphics. LOL Evelyn! Chili, waiting with bated breath for the next instalment, great stuff. And last but not least to our gracious hostess for making it all possible, Cheers Karen, (if you are still standing;-)

This morning, Katie meets with Colin Firth to discuss new developments with an organization that has been exerting substantial and ongoing personal pressure on the actor for the past several months. Katie (face flushed but attempting to remain cool): Thank you for coming into our studio this morning, Colin. Colin: It is very nice to be here, Katie. Katie: I'm very grateful you could make it in, since I know what a busy schedule you have and that you barely have the time to promote your own films, especially in England. Colin: Yes, that's true. I have never been out of work since drama school. In fact, I've just finished one film and must jet back this evening to start work on another. Katie: I'd really like to hear more about those films, but first we need to talk about the current situation relative to The Tongue Brigade or TTB, who first laid siege to your home in June. According to my monthly newsletter, sorry, our sources, there were to be candlelight vigils throughout the entire month of September. Are you aware of that? Colin: Yes, these women mass on the sidewalk every night at about ten o'clock with their candles. Katie: Has this been a major inconvenience? Colin: Thus far, they've maintained order but the local constabulary are expecting a far larger gathering this evening. Katie: Luckily for you, you're here in New York. But why this evening? Is there anything significant about the date? The way the stars are aligned? A full moon? What? Colin: We've concluded that the larger rally may be due to my birthday. Katie: (gasp) How would they know that fact, such a personal detail? (slides PDA away) Colin: (shaking head) Honestly, I have no idea and have asked several fans that question myself, when it has arisen in conversation. Katie: And their answer... Colin: They typically have none. In actuality, most women have a difficult time speaking to me and I have no idea why. I seem to get an almost ludicrous amount of respect. Kate: (hand making fanning motions toward face) Surely, Colin, you are being modest. You are a handsome, leading man. Heads must turn when you enter the room? Colin: Never. I'm really just an ordinary person and I lead a very quiet and normal life with my family, which is very important to me. Katie: I admire that in a man and am very happy that you have your priorities....but, now, we have some footage from recent protests in North London. (their heads turn toward the monitors) Here you see a large number of women marching behind a banner. Can you tell us, Colin, what the message is? Colin: I speak Italian but can make out a bit of the Spanish... Katie: (pressing hand to ear) I've been told it says, "Long live kissing with the tongue." Colin: That seems fairly accurate. Katie: Does this mean the TTB's message is becoming more widespread, in concert with its international membership? Colin: So I've been told by the authorities. Katie: Do you have any conception of TTB's global reach? How many countries? Colin: Initially it was limited to only those countries in which Pride and Prejudice had been broadcast, but then grew tremendously in the aftermath of Bridget Jones's Diary. I'm afraid it has spread to all corners of the world as a result of our computer age. Katie: That internet is something, isn't it. Have you taken a look at some of the websites dedicated to you? (starts twirling a strand of hair) Colin: (practiced disingenuous look) I didn't know there were any. Katie: (eyebrow shoots up) Hmmm, alright. And here's another recent shot of a group of women draped in paper chains. Isn't that a unique and peaceful approach? Colin: I believe it has been done before. Katie: Really, by whom? Colin: (mumbling, fairly inaudibly) By a large number of concerned citizens, myself included, who were protesting the government's treatment of asylum seekers in the UK. Katie: So your fans are following your example. (winks) Colin: Possibly, although my actions are not and should not be the public's concern. Katie: (looking off to the side) Do we have any B roll of Colin at that protest? Hmmm, they're looking and think they might. Colin: Let me reiterate, Katie, that there is a fine delineation between the public and my personal life. I seek the input of my family, my wife in particular, for career decisions. She is highly intelligent and a grounding influence on me. Katie: A very good point, Colin, but perhaps these fans are attempting to show their support for certain statements you've made about the direction of your career. Colin: I've said many things in the past. Which statements? Katie: Ones in which you've expressed regret over not getting or being considered for certain dramatic roles. I believe you've mentioned on several occasions how The End of the Affair was such a film. Colin: Yes, I had been interested in Graham Greene's novels with their complex characters but was never offered the film. Katie: This is purely hypothetical. That film had several very sexy scenes between Ralph Fiennes and Julianne Moore. If it had been offered to you, would you have done them? (pulls earpiece out of ear) Colin: (major effort not to stammer) As an actor, one does what is appropriate for the character within the context of the plot. Katie: Then, I take it the answer would be yes. You haven't completely ruled out R-rated love scenes in future films. Colin: No, but I am getting older and the likelihood of being offered those types of parts is declining. This will be where I segue into character parts, allow myself to get fat and do really challenging work. [an unidentified arm appears to Katie's right, trying to get her attention; she ignores it] Katie: (horrified look upon her face) Colin, I was initially getting the impression that you were trying to turn your career around and would be leaving the lightweight comedies behind. But this doesn't sound like an improvement, at least from the standpoint of my sisters, I mean, the membership of the TTB. Colin: I'm at a loss for words. Katie: Words (with a raised voice)!! That's not what we...I mean, they want. Colin: Hmmm, reminds me of an old Rolling Stones song. But seriously, Katie, this group's objectives are unrealistic within the context of my life and the choices I've made. I have a wife and two children and an extended family in Italy and, frankly, I don't feel at all comfortable being shown on the screen in those sorts of scenes anymore, which is fine since the only scripts that seem to come my way are light comedies. Katie: (drained of spirit) I'm sorry to hear that, Colin. Could you tell us about your next film? Colin: There is not a great deal I'm allowed to reveal, other than Love Actually is an ensemble piece by Richard Curtis, one of England's best screenwriters, with many wonderful actors including Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson and Laura Linney. Oh yes, and Hugh Grant is in it too. Katie: Will you have a fight scene with Hugh again? Colin: No, we are in separate storylines. Besides, he had it written into his contract that we're never to be in the same scenes again. Katie: How will that affect plans for a Bridget Jones sequel? Colin: Again, planning for the sequel is still in the wind at present. It is very difficult to get all the main players together with a good script. It will have to be an even better script to tempt us to reprise our characters. Katie: Does it bother you that the part of Daniel Cleaver is virtually nonexistent in the second book and that it will have to expanded for the movie? Colin: Having not seen a script yet, I really cannot comment. Katie: So you can't tell us if they've kept in the extremely important scene where Mark strides in barrister mode around the bedroom in a towel after witnessing Bridget snogging the Whippersnapper? Colin: No. Katie: Are there any towel scenes in Love Actually? Colin: None. My character's wife has been cheating on him, so he takes off for Paris and hooks up with another woman who doesn't speak English and he doesn't speak French. However, they do find other ways of communicating. Katie: Sign language? (lackluster tone) Colin: No, other ways. Katie: (perking up) Really? This sounds like it might have some promise for your fans, especially those in the TTB. Do you have any other projects coming up? Colin: I will be playing Vermeer in an adaptation of Girl with a Pearl Earring after that. Katie: From what I recall of the novel, Vermeer had about six kids and a domineering wife. Colin: Yes. Katie: On what do you plan to draw your inspiration for that role? Colin: I've traveled widely and should be able to incorporate much personal experience into this role. Katie: We need to wrap this segment up now, but I want to leave everyone with a picture of Colin, taken during one of his own protest rallies. Thank you, Colin.

Whew! I finally got my row boat out of the mini break pond (it took me awhile since Hugh wouldn't help me - he was still hung over from celebrating his own birthday) and into the open seas in order to find the S.S. Si Cara and turn her around. I'm determined, but I'm going to need some help from you, ladies. I'll need something to energize me. Any rhythmic songs or dances out there to inspire me? Isn't it time for a conga line on this cruise ship?

Guess, I'll have to take Natasha with me (whoops) ;-). Maybe we can busy her with some of that nail polish and put her on the Miss New Jersey and put me back on course towards the Si Cara ;-).

(Lora) Any rhythmic songs or dances out there to inspire me? Isn't it time for a conga line on this cruise ship? The main act doesn't come on until after dinner. Have you booked a table? ;-)

Cabaret for Colin? Or is he the Cabaret? I know you'll keep us in suspense. Ho hum , nothing to do but order another martini and wait expectantly for a tantalising finale;-)

ROTFLOL, Karen! (K/K) Have you taken a look at some of the websites dedicated to you? (starts twirling a strand of hair) Colin: (practiced disingenuous look) I didn't know there were any. So, so funny! You've got her nailing him on every issue! Colin: (mumbling, fairly inaudibly) By a large number of concerned citizens, myself included, who were protesting the government's treatment of asylum seekers in the UK. Katie: So your fans are following your example. (winks) ROTF! Like Elizabeth's conversation with Mr. Darcy at the Rosings piano, using his own words/actions to justify an admirer's ;-)

*hee hee hee* Oh yes, this act was brought in at great expense just to appear one night only on the S.S. Si Cara. (then later, we'll have something for the Playgirls After Dark crowd, which is against Evelyn's better judgment. She of the Pennis Award!] ;-) Admin Note: If anybody out there wants to post a birthday message to Colin and can't figure out how, you need to register at the site (hit "Join In"] then contact me at nomdedrool@yahoo.com for the final step. Your Cruise Director

Clap*, Clap* Katie, er, I mean Karen. Colin: Hmmm, reminds me of an old Rolling Stones song. Tata tarara, tatarara, tata... You've got it babe! LOL! (Lora) Any rhythmic songs or dances out there to inspire me? How's that song for inspiration? ;-) (Karen), She of the Pennis Award! Cherie, you must pronounce it � la francaise. Which reminds me of that song, Tu ma promis, et je t'est cru, tu est fou... ;-) tuo...tutututututu. ;-) Ladies, the bartender is suggesting a chocolate Martini, to go with the cake anyone else? :-D

(Moon) Tata tarara, tatarara, tata... Could be ;-) Maybe he'll join our headliner later on the main stage. Dessert? Now? Did you get stuck on the early seating, Moon? I haven't even dressed for dinner yet. The purser is bringing up my jewels in a bit. But a chocolate martini would be lovely. *smacking lips* you must pronounce it � la francaise Isn't it typed that way? ;-)

Karen...OMG how can I follow that hilarious interview...A winner. GWAPE:Six kids and a domineering wife: On what do you plan to draw your inspiration for that role? ROTF.... LA: Sign language? (lackluster tone) Here you see a large number of women marching behind a banner. I'm the third white babushka from the left;-)

Karen....excellent interview....now I know what you've been doing all week!!

OK, I went to the bakery to find a new cake. I wanted to get a big one. (Do you have any idea how expensive bakeries are these days????) Never mind. Money is no object when it comes to ODB. Now, the Blue Angels know how to say it with big cakes�.. And so do the ladies on a street close to ODB�� Too big???? Yep, I agree. How would I carry it or fit it on the bus? (I�m afraid LD doesn�t pay me enough to own a car!) So then I thought�.A BOAT CAKE!!!!!!! I can sail it over to Islington. Perfect, I�m getting them to write S.S. Si Caro on it���Will cruise over shortly.

Here's a greeting that just came in.... From Mario(I need your help in packing. And your amicos at ICI

D*** Karen, That pic of the Blue Angels (and the others too) looked so very small until it popped up here. I don't want to melt any computers! I know just enough to make trouble.

Great interview, Karen! Chili, when do we get part 3? Do we have to wait for the late-night in-cabin movie? Love all the boat motifs. No chocolate martinis for me, thank you. I'm saving my calories for birthday cake!!!

This is indeed a truly auspicious day. Not only is it Colin's 42nd Birthday, but it is also the day when a very important Hall of Fame announces its annual inductees. Take it away, Fred and Robert! Colin, ever since that remarkable day when you appeared in My Life So Far as the hare-brained inventor father of six precocious children, you made a lasting impression on our Board of Governors' Selection Committee. You did this at such a young age. Then you followed as a surrogate father in that classic Secret Laughter of Women. Our hearts melted at the way you reached out to that boy and provided him with the father figure he needed. You set a fine example, even though you were legally married to another at the time. Then, we saw you in Donovan Quick, playing a father figure to the mentally handicapped Sandy Pannick. Our Selection Committee did have to go to great lengths to see this performance, but it was worth it, as it caused you rise up through the ranks of potential candidates and to make it to the all-important short list. Then, more recently, you appeared in The Importance of Being Earnest, with a part which required you to take care of your ward Cecily. Not only did you have to fend off the advances of a man old enough to be her father, but you had to stand up to the formidible midget, Dame Judi. Our admiration continued to grow. Now we've been told that you're playing a father again in American Girl and will have six more children in the film Girl with the Pearl Earring. Our hats are off to you, Colin. You've already played father to more than we ever did in our careers (three each), and you are miles ahead of both Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson, who never seem to be parents in any of their films. Therefore, it is our honor and privilege to present you with this plaque: In addition, we have a few other gifts for you. All TV/Movie Dads need to wear authentic 50s'-style cardigan sweaters: And at the end of hard day at the studio or on location, a man just wants to have his slippers: Congratulations and Good Luck!

Wow - I've been offline most of the day and it took quite a while to catch up! Lots of great stuff! Especially love the interview, Karen! I am a little worried with all of us trying to get the boat to turn around that we could wind up with a confused little boat.....

Is it time for cocktail hour yet? I'm Kate, and I'll be your server, this evening, Mr. Firth. (Glad to serve you any time!) May I suggest these?

First, let me say how sorry Linda and I are that our compatriot Dorine is only able to pop in now and then for the party. We miss her. But in the spirit of carrying on no matter what, we present..... Dramatic roles are blowing far Across the North Atlantic Sea. While Daniel Craig is Gwynnie's star, The rom-coms pile up all 'round me. Oh Roman captain, tell me true, Why must I do this comedy? Is that the script I want to do? It's "Gidget Goes to Tuscany"! Turn 'round, Lady, turn me around.  She will not budge, I know her well. For kissing scenes she doth not care, And little change may I compel Of one so lacquered and so fair. My love scenes are my woman's toy; She'll never know the actor's pain. And on film I'm chaste as a boy - I'll never bare my arse again! Turn 'round, Lady, turn me around. from Linda and Rika

This just in from the Psychic Network: the "SS Si Cara" appears to be turning around slowly, very slowly. And it seems that the ghost of Orson Wells is trying to warn Colin that other actors are in hot pursuit of the OW role in Fade to Black. Orson would be pleased to have Colin play him because he's an actor that would gain the weight and settle into his character very well. Karen), Dessert? Now? Did you get stuck on the early seating, Moon? What about all that cake that Lisa brought? You mean you didn't bite? I can resist everything but temptation. ;-) And, congratulazione Colin for you excellent award. ;-)

Linda and Rika! LOL! That bit of music was great.

This is the signal for turning the ship around. Just in time, as we are entering, Venezia!

Oh my, love the TV/Movie Dad Hall of Fame. LOL! (L&R)My love scenes are my woman's toy; She'll never know the actor's pain. And on film I'm chaste as a boy - I'll never bare my arse again! I love this part. I can just hear CF saying "pain" as his voice changes ranges a little and he hits his chest in angst. Linda and Rika, the song is great. How positively delightful!

(Karen)Playgirls After Dark crowd I'm a card carrying member. Love the interview, Karen. I could almost see Katie's ankle doing that little dance. Chili, Chili, Chili must have part three before I get too sloshed to read it. Yep, one more choclate martini for me, please, Forget the cake-unless of course it's rum-filled. I hate first seating. Moon, get out of there and get up to the bar! Rika, have you saved any latte for Dorine? Poor girl.

Moon, so we are already in Venezia? My, how time flies when you're having fun!

Yup, it's not wise to leave your computer for too long today, as the catchup can be agonizing. Great job, Latte Divas Rika and Linda! Dorine is sorely missed, but your tuneful rendition of that pop classic is brilliant, as well as all the pains you've taken with your presentation. Gidget Goes to Tuscany! LOL!! (only if YKW plays Moondoggie and not the father!) Kate, we've started out here with a dish representing Colin's cultural heritage: pizza, but your appetizers look scrumptious. (Moon) the ghost of Orson Wells is trying to warn Colin that other actors are in hot pursuit of the OW role in Fade to Black It may be time for old Hans and Franz to come in "pump you up" ;-) BTW, Colin is shown on Entertainment Tonight's website for having a birthday today. Pretty soon, the show will be on here, but there's no guarantee he'll be listed at the end. *crossing fingers* The pic is one I don't recognize. Could be from an old junket (note edge of lamp in corner). Need to see more of clothing to tell for sure:

Nightmare in North London A Trilogy The Nightmare That Keeps on Giving   His wife stood before him, holding a birthday cake. The candles were lit and shining brightly. As soon as the song was over and he blew them out, he grabbed the cake from her hands and threw it in Hugh�s face. They immediately began to sissy fight, rolling on the ground in the smashed cake, as the goat tried to grab pieces in between their thrashing bodies. This was right up Queen Rupert�s alley; he immediately began offering suggestions to both men to improve their fighting prowess. Archer began furiously scribbling notes for his next book, and Andrew was heard to say rather predictably to Ken that it would look more realistic if they would imagine... Finally, both men agreed to call it enough. But Hugh, never one to keep his word, began to throw bits of the cake at Colin. Colin then commanded the goat to, "Attack! Get�em boy!" When the goat just stared at him, chewing cake, he tried again. "Attaca!! Aizzare!" The goat took off after the troublesome guest. Hmm, this goat understands Italian! Hugh decided a hasty exit was in his best interest. He saluted the flag as he passed the flagpole, and stumbled straight into a group of girl guides selling cookies. When they discovered whose birthday it was, the girl guides burst into song, making it through "Happy Birthday" twice. Hugh couldn't help but inquire about their boarding school antics; they shrieked, dropped their cookies on the lawn and ran towards home, calling out "It's past our bedtime." Suddenly the loadspeakers outside began to play "Mustang Sally" and a strange sound could be heard coming from the front walk. It sounded as though a pig was outside, rooting through the cookie boxes. His ears pricked up. I'd know that voice anywhere. "Sally! Sally's here." He rushed o the door to let her in; she grunted in acknowledgement, then headed straight for the cake that was strewn around the room. He just looked at her with a big smile. The party's made now! My favourite co-star has arrived. By now, Queen Judy had had enough of this shindig. She dragged her royal counterpart out the door and Colin walked them to their golf cart. A heated argument broke out between the queens over who was going to drive. Judy won, of course, and took off like a bat out of hell. A huge lorry cut right in front of her and she executed a sharp turn, swerving onto two wheels to avoid hitting it. The driver cursed and then laughed at the sight of two queens in a golf cart as it disappeared into the darkened streets of North London. Rupert could be heard clearly, imploring "Slow down! My skirt's caught in the wheel." Then the lorry backed up to the front garden and dumped a load of overripe ripe tomatoes on what was left of the lawn. The goat rushed over to the pile and began to frolic amongst the fruit, eating to its heart's content. The teamsters got down from the truck and began to unload an enormous birthday cake. They handed him a receipt to sign. "Coffee wenches? Who are the coffee wenches?" he wondered aloud as the truck roared off into the night. His darling wife came out onto the steps. "Cara mio, how lovely, we can have leftovers." They jumped back in surprise as the blast of a big brass band issued forth, then the top flew off the cake. An all-American guest, holding shimmering sparklers in each hand, popped out. "Katie! What a great surprise. All the way from New York." She waved the sparklers, gave him her perkiest smile and said "Yes, when I heard it was your birthday, well, I just had to come." She eyed him adoringly and shuffled her feet against his. He looked down and exclaimed, "Hey, I love your shoes! Darling, look! " he called to his wife. "Look at Katie's shoes! Aren't they attractive? You�ll have to find out where she shops." "Oh, si si, my love," his cara spouso said between clenched teeth. She smiled and waved as Joe and Ralph came out of the house and approached her with wicked grins. "Oh no you don't!" Colin shouted. "You may get the parts, but you won't get my wife! At least not in this dream!" "Have you been on that 'Interneto' again, where all those women say you need the kissing lessons?" He seized her and murmured, "Per te," as he kissed her soundly, and she smiled. "What's so funny?" He furrowed his brow at this thought just before they were nearly knocked off their feet by Sally the pig grunting madly as she rushed out to get at the tomatoes. His mother in law followed, swatting at its rump with the empty champagne bottle. She pointed to the garden. "Look, look! Il pomodori! We can make the sauce, enough to last a year with them." She began to fill up plastic bags, fighting over the best tomatoes with the goat and the pig. The guests began to leave; ever the charming host, Colin politely thanked each one for coming with a handshake and a gift bag. After surveying the wreckage in his front garden, he tethered the goat to the flagpole for the night; the pig had already cleaned up the residue from the cake fight inside. He grabbed a quick shower, then went looking for his wife. She was down at the end of the hallway inside a closet, sorting through piles of manuscripts. "What are you doing, dearest?" "My love, it is il capretto. They are always hungry. The grass, she isn�t enough food. All the tomatoes are squashed. We give it some of these." She handed him a heavy stack of screenplays, evidently no longer needed. "Goats, they will eat any kind of garbage." He read through the titles as he made his way downstairs. Why, these are some of my best scripts! Granted, I didn�t get parts in the films, but still, it�s like feeding part of my soul to this rotten goat! He sighed as he fed the goat "Oscar and Lucinda." Damn those Fiennes brothers! A little tear formed as he watched it eat "High Fidelity." I wish Nick had offered me this one! Then he watched it chew up and swallow "Gosford Park." Of course! Everybody liked that movie. I can�t believe I wasn�t in it! When the goat got to "Armadillo" it was too much and he went inside and crawled into bed. It seemed like only a few minutes later that he woke up with a start. A fine mist of a salty sea breeze smacked Colin straight in the face. He sat up and looked around and shouted, "Good God, we�re sailing on the S.S. Si Caro again!" The bed had once again turned into a boat. "Wake up, wake up!" he roused his wife. "Si, si, I know, we go out for the Indian food to celebrate your birthday. You know the restaurant, she has the candles on the tables." She was dressed in an Indian sari. Oh, that's much more attractive! He looked down and saw that he was wearing his favourite vintage shirt. I look pretty hot in this! "Hand me that spyglass," he directed. "This time around I want to be certain I get my turkey curry."   Fine PS. Colin, believe it or not, we love you...just as you are. Buon compleanno! And thanks for the inspiration... Chili Front and Frolic Thin, Partners in Crime The Anagram Twins

APPLAUSE!!!!! Fabulous, dahlings!

Turn, turn, turn your ship Toward some decent roles. Tongues and tasteful nudity; These are Droolers' goals! I wish I had something more impressive to offer, like all you talented Droolers! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLIN!! You just keep getting better and better!

Thanks so much to the Anagram Twins!! The best laugh was Huge's picture, what a hoot!

(Chili)"Coffee wenches? Who are the coffee wenches?" he wondered aloud as the truck roared off into the night Rika, Rika, OMG, we're famous. We made it into Colin's nightmare. Thank you, Chili. I could almost hear him say "coffe wenches". Gave me the chills just thinking about it. Thank you, Chili. My sides hurt from laughing so much. I wish you could put all three parts together-I want to save it. Fabuloso. But Hugh, never one to keep his word, began to throw bits of the cake at Colin. Colin then commanded the goat to, "Attack! Get�em boy!" Can't you just see it? Hilarious!

I know it's getting late in the evening, but I figure the night is young and I�ve not yet seen the song list for the evening�s entertainment. Being a female of a certain age, remakes of some 70s classics come to mind: Turn The Ship Around Baby, Do It My Way Walk On The Wilde Side The Things You Do For Love We Ain�t Seen Nothin� Yet One Tongue Over The Line Stuck In The Rom Com With You Ride Colin Ride (No one looks better on a horse!) Hot Rod Nessie It�s Not Too Late Mama Told Me Not To Tongue (Just preparing this list was fun�I of course skipped The Happiest Girl In The Whole USA, Night Moves, and Stairway To Heaven and any number of other (totally in-)appropriate possibilities!) What a fun day! Thanks for making the trip on the S.S. Si Cara so much fun!

I wish you could put all three parts together-I want to save it. Fabuloso. Is this a candidate for the fanfic archive?! Surely this is not lost to posterity!

Thanks to everyone here for making my day with all this great Birthday fun. You all have done a fablulous job of it and I hope that, possibly, someone special will pop in to see all the efforts. And, now more about the cake fiasco! On my way back to Islington, I ran into the Queen on the bus. (Circumstances have led her to travel by a more economical mode of transport lately.) When she discovered whom my boat cake was for, she insisted upon coming back with me to wish ODB a Happy Birthday in person. It seems she�s long been a fan and especially enjoyed Relative Values. As she said to me, �Lisa, Colin�s character reminds one very much of someone one knows!� (????) Anyways, she had to go back to the palace and change�.. ��and insisted that this guy come along with us. ***Sigh*** They couldn�t wait to get out to the S.S. Si Caro�� ���but there wasn�t enough room for the entire entourage and they had to make their own way on board. Prince Phillip brought some fine German wine along for the celebration! Now, we are all set to party. Just everyone be careful you don�t knock the Queen�s crown off!!!!!

He looked down and saw that he was wearing his favourite vintage shirt. I look pretty hot in this! The look that started it all! Grazie di cuore a le gemelle Anagram. (Linda), I hate first seating. Moon, get out of there and get up to the bar! I've had first seating at the bar, ladies. Ready for another round. :-) Now, who wants to go to Capri? Next stop, la Grotta Azzura.

"Richard, look at wot those twins have done to your famous fight scene from BJD. Can't you direct them to behave? Even though I know they do it out of love, actually . . .

(Lisa), everyone be careful you don�t knock the Queen�s crown off!!!!! Who would have thought we'd have so many Queens in attendance? ;-) Lisa, you are the official cake girl! *smooch*

Ah, well, mebbe da Boss can help me out.:-)

Kathy and Barb, you've got it down. ;-) LOL!

If you can manage to open this, there are 3 party favors for all crew memebers, cortesy of Meluchie:-) http://194.68.33.51/fotoweb/Grid.fwx?columns=5&rows=2&folderid=5003&SF_GROUP1_BOOLEAN=and&SF_FIELD1_GROUP=1&SF_LASTSEARCH=Sean+Bean&Stemming=&Synonym

Oh, hell, just put Colin Firth in the search engine. Si Caro has sailed into French waters.:-)

It just took me 1-1/2 hours to read all the posts that had been added since this morning, and my face hurts from grinning and laughing! Loved the graphics, interviews, stories and songs. What a lovely party!! So many talented Droolers out there! Now I'm going to go mix up a little something with which to toast the birthday boy. :-)

Magnifico!! Anagram Twins. And multo grazie for coming out of lurkdom with your epic masterpiece. Brava!! *whistling*

So I've got the TV on in the background while I'm reading the latest posts. Suddenly, as I'm looking at Lisa's photo of the Queen in her launch, I hear some dialogue from a promo for a Star Trek episode: "Turn this ship around!"

Mari, thank you, for those pictures. Too bad they don't have any from the party in Morocco. More on that tomorrow. It will help our hangovers

WOW! This is some party -what with the Anagram Twins' offerings and Karen's interview! :-) Great work ladies!! (Kathy)1-1/2 hours to read all the posts - i've been trying to keep up at work all day and kept getting further and further behind! I dont have anything fancy to offer, but will extend my heart felt wishes for a very happy happy birthday to Our Dear Boy- *smooch* HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!

Grazie, Mari and Meluchie! Colin looks vvg. Here is a map of where he is filming now. Vidauban, France, en Provence.

Lol Barb....... Walk On The Wilde Side Very good! We Ain�t Seen Nothin� Yet And the prospects just get slimmer and slimmer!!!! Mama Told Me Not To Tongue Sad, but quite possibly true. Don't worry Mari, you efforts are commendable. Kathy....Tongues and tasteful nudity; These are Droolers' goals! Tasteful?? Tasteful?? Who said that was a requirement?? ;) la Grotta Azzura. Excellent stop and still in boat mode.

Next stop, St. Tropez. I bet we're all getting off here. ;-)

Click Now Turn the boat around Want to see the passion Turn it upside down Want to see the passion Need to see it Turn it on, turn it on, turn it round Turn it on, turn it on, turn it round Turn it on, turn it on, turn it round Turn it on, turn it on, turn it round Actor man do your thing 'cause I know that you want to get your thing off But you see I've made up my mind about it It's got to be a drama, no doubt about it, woah woah 'Cause when the camera starts to roll And those eyes smoulder with desire, with the motion of the lips, lips, lips Makes me wanna move my body yeah, yeah, yeah And when the bum starts thrusting to that beat It nails that beat with the groaning rhythm With a bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce on the springs, hey Turn the boat around Want to see the passion Turn it upside down Want to see the passion Need to see it My apologies to everyone. I know my lyrics suck, but so do the original's. ;-)

(karen), My apologies to everyone here. Not only do my lyrics suck, so do the real ones. ;-) LOL! I'll just say you shocked me. ;-) But what really matters is the dancing.

Karen..ROFLMAO...I thought about it, I really did (see my earlier post) but I could not do it. You are the master...I am not worthy! With a bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce on the springs, hey LOL

For Karen and those in later time zones, Colin is shown as one of the birthday boys on ET tonight. Pic is slightly different than what Karen posted above. What a bash! So many goodies . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLIN FIRTH, 000-245-6895 LOL, Evelyn! Innit cute, he has his own personal NHS number.;-) OK, who on this ship snapped The Captain seabathing on his birthday? An all-time fave pic of mine, Murph! But what's that white stuff at the bototm of the pic--waves?;-) According to my monthly newsletter, sorry, our sources, there were to be candlelight vigils throughout the entire month of September ROTFLMAO! Oh, Karen, you've outdone yourself with this latest dispatch on The Tongue Brigade! And the Dad Hall Of Fame--too funny, girl! Is that the script I want to do? It's "Gidget Goes to Tuscany"! Turn 'round, Lady, turn me around. Ok, now I'm on the floor! LOL! Cheers to our latte divas, Rika and Linda! Prince Phillip brought some fine German wine along for the celebration! Oh, Freulein Lisa, you sly devil! Mama Told Me Not To Tongue "That ain't the way to have fun, son!" Good ones, Barb! And many thanks to the Anagram twins for the Trilogy--brava, ladies!

And for some after dinner entertainment (totally tasteless, so I'll apologize in advance, and I plan to remove this posting after a while but it was too funny)... "You don't like me? You don't like my government? You think I care if you and your Commie friends hang out at the Instituto, drinking espresso and reciting poetry? You think I care what you write to some crummy English newspaper? "You think I can't fire Mario, the little culatone, and put whomever I want to run the Instituto in London? Well, think again. If I wanted my cleaning woman to run the instituto, she'd be there faster than you can say, tortellini en brodo. So, big shot, you want a piece of me? I'm here and I'm waiting."

ROTFLOL!!! Brilliant, Karen! Che ridere! Devo farlo vedere al mio marito. Questo � troppo bello.

I can't stop laughing, Karen. I didn't know Berlusca was so well endowed. ;-) You know, he is still the president of my soccer team, AC Milan. Ma come hai fatto?

BWAH I need to send that to my brother posthaste, Karen; he'll want to pass it back to Parma. Fabulous work, ladies, simply fabulous. I may or may not be able to stop laughing long enough to find something of my own to contribute...

That photo kinda renders the "Right vs. left" question unnecessary, eh?

That photo comes in S M L and XL. I posted the S version. ;-) But you really have to thank Evelyn who found it.

That photo comes in S M L and XL. I posted the S version. ;-) Really? It boggles the mind! (Thanks Evelyn!)

Well, my first comments were, to borrow words from Karen, totally tasteless. Scrambling for some phrase that does not contain an expletive, I can only shuffle off to the corner and utter "Appeso come un cavallo!"

LOL, Lisa! I can hear a Wagnerian score in the background. ;-)

LOL! I think I can figure that one out. ;-) Giddyup!

Off to do some dancing. See you all in Barcelona for "churros and chocolate" in the wee hours. :-)

WOW. Good thing you didn't post that XL version. I can't afford a new monitor.

And that's what *I* call...A BODY OF WORK Salut Colin....Buon Cumpleano

As a very wise woman once said, "Waste not. Want not."

(Lisa) Tasteful?? Tasteful?? Who said that was a requirement?? I have anticipated your question. "Full frontal" and "gratuitous" didn't scan, and I really didn't think we wanted "tasteless." Well, maybe a little tasteless. Are we going for an R, or do we want X? Do we want something that will be critically acclaimed, or are we going for pure sex? Okay, maybe a stupid question... ;-)

I can't afford a new monitor. :::wiping spit off trusty old 17" monitor...:::

(KathyF)Are we going for an R, or do we want X? I know what I want. I think the prototype was just posted.

Since it�s getting late, I thought I would make one last post before we all went to sleep�nice images to dream about! I hope eight is not too many. And, I just realized I never wished Colin a Happy Birthday in any of my posts today. Happy 42nd!!!!!! Best wishes to you for a great year!

To Moon...The Great Party Organizer.... To our ever-faithful Boss and Everyone who contributed to this great day....

Lisa, eight is enough...and I especially like #7 (sucker for dimples.) And it is late. DH says it is time for bed. I say Si Caro. And for those who remain to party on, I say "go for it." And thanks all for making my first birthday cruise with you all so memorable. Sweet dreams!

I have been trying to leave for the last hour. But the party gets better and better. Oh, Lisa, those are great pictures. How about eight more?:-) Such pleasant images to take to bed. What a fantastic day. Thank you, everyone. Colin, Happy Birthday.

(kathy) Are we going for an R, or do we want X? I wasn't trying to escalate this. Really I wasn't. But there was something (I don't know what) about Silvio that just spoke to me. OK, to Colin through me. ;-) Those eight worked for me, Lisa. What a fantastic parties, ladies. I've had a great time toasting and roasting our fabulous boy, who is responsible for bringing us all together. Three Cheers for On his Birthday! *smooch*

This came in the mail for all of us:

Ah, Colin darling, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, the ship's band, "Je Suis un Rock Star" has arrived...late as usual, and complaining about the absence of beer, no doubt. Some teenage kicks are better left in front of the mirror... Dennis, darling, we loved you in that bedroom scene, but heartbreak is a poor excuse... Ah yes, Keanu, living proof that anyone can learn to play electric bass and chew gum at the same time... Hey Robert? That stuff you're doing? Can't be good for the pipes...Put the guitar down slowly, Russell, and back away from the barbecue...Six degrees of something, if we could only figure out what...Giving it to charity yet, Rupert? Aren't you glad you kept your day job, even if it requires an occasional kissing lesson? Buon compleanno Colin!