Screwed Press Conference Room

Sure!

yes, did you have a question?

Heck no! I've gots lot more than that...

Well, what are they?

Well, you know, the first one is: Can any of the posts in here actually be used in a court of law?

haha!!

i am very glad you asked that question. i think the american people are technically in favor of having some of these posts used in a court of law. now, i also feel that we need to examine the issue further from several angles and determine what the best course of action would be in regards to the technical use of postings in a court of law. it could be that this is not a good thing, though i do not want to make is sound like it is bad because it is not. however the simple fact that the american people are concerned about these issues makes it important, and i am glad that you brought the topic up. next question?

wow, ray, where'd you learn to talk like a lawyer? *grin* i think the danger of using these posts in a court of law would be from using them out of context. you know, a lawyer's favorite tactic.

now that is a very good point, young lady. i have strongly been in favor of using and/or not enabling the functionality of such items in the past. i have said before that such items used "out" of "context" might prove to be problematic. technically, this is an issue of grave concern for us here in screwed, and we feel that the american people deserve a fair shake in determining how they want these things dealt with. next?

haha!!

Then, Mr. Lopez, may we take it that you are, in effect, in favor of the aforementioned plan outlining the proposed steps to take in any potential future setting of such circumstances? And, if not, could you elaborate on your postion should such eventualities arise, either directly or indirectly?

exactly. as i have said, the american people are in effect taking a very proactive approach in these manners. John Rockefeller once said, "i beleive that every right implies a responsibility, every opportunity, an obligation, every possession, a duty." i feel that the american people have given us a mandate to continue on as careful a course as possible, given the most caring and humane ways we can think of.

And how do the American people plan to reconcile the concept of 'caring and humane ways' with their Boer neighbours?

i am glad you asked that question young lady. this concept is in dire need of reconciliation, in much the same way that many key and important concepts are. our boer neighbors are very important to us, and the mandate given to us by the american people demonstrates that such a solid and lasting relationship is a key component to developing a kinder and gentler approach to most cases of such magnitude. next question?

When are we gonna roast the goat?

At the next koedoedrolsverspoeg competition.

Speaking of such gatherings, what would you suggest be done to insure the continuance of said festivities for the following generations, and if this isn't feasible, what are your thoughts concerning the loss of such traditions to the recent Boer/American confederation?

I'd just like to know what that word meant. It looked like one of those towns in Wales.

No, it didn't have nearly enought L's to be Welsh.

ha-ha, Autumn!! And NO NO NO! The koedoedrolverspoeg competition is an important annual Boer event. Anybody can take part in seeing who can spit a kudu turt furthest.

that's done with watermelon seeds (pips) and/or tobacco juice here in the states... not to mention, Autumn, there weren't any y's... in Welsh, it would probably look something like kyldyndrollvyrlspoich...

LOL!!! But $hit, I'd rather spit kudu turts than tobacco juice. Foul!

I'd be reluctant to put either one in my mouth.

and I've had much worse in mine...

Like what sort of worse things???

huh? you talking to me?

wer's had in his mouth snake venom, fire ant juice, leftover glandular excretions from old worn out scrubwomen right after the scrubbing, tire iron lickings from the hazardous waste site down the block from wer he lives, chocolate malts that grew hairs on the chest of the glass he drank it out of, small scale babysitter farts that traveled the length of the room and landed in the cereal he was eating.....this is only a 1000th of the worst stuff wer's had in his mouth that I can remember.....Terry and Ray now lots more.....Stacey has seen him merrily suck on and seriously swallow useless lifeforms from other galaxies that when those lifeforms were touched to a diamond (that Stacey's grandmother used to own), that diamond melted into a puddle of naked booze.

�practically falling off my chair with laughter!!!!!� Jim, there is something I would love to know. What is a scrubwoman?????

Female Janitor.

I thought they were women living in the scrub brush of vegitation on the outskirts of Nambia...

No, those are bushwoman - I know, because my husband always says being married to me has taught him one thing: you can drag a bushwoman out of the bush, but you can't drag the bush out of the bushwoman. So, a scrubwoman must be something else. A cleaning lady perhaps?

yes, you are correct... and I thought that you could at least shave the bush off a bushwoman...

You might want to obtain her consent first. Anyone who flourishes in such an environment, is probably pretty handy with a weapon.

It is a figurative bush, my dear.

and I was hoping for a fingerative one...

I thought guys didn't like literal or fingerative bushes....

Variety is the spice of life!!! Vive la Difference!!

that would be lickable or fingerative bushes...

Hey, does this mean that you be shaved smooth, Ree?

�blush� I'm pretty smooth, yeah. But I don't really have a choice in the matter - it is how nature intended it. My sister got my share of the back hair and thick eyebrows, and other exotic hairs when we were made; I got alot of head hair, and practically nothing elsewhere. Like a mutant rat, really!

Like I said," Vive la Difference". Life would be boring if everyone was the same.

I would feel that most of the conversations that take place in those areas of The Spring that do have the conferencing system would in almost their entirety be in existence but the special prosecutor, the court, and, I think, the screwed participants are sufficiently familiar with the conferencing system to know where the conferencing system exists and to know the situation in terms of the conferencing process but I feel, although the process has not been undertaken yet in preparation of the material to abide by the court decision, really, what the answer to that question is.

William, would it be too much trouble to translate that statement into English? (Perhaps it's been messed up by telnet...?!)