ask the ALMIGHTY PASQUINA!

Topic 138 · 83 responses · archived october 2000

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~ratthing Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (13:45) seed

almighty Pasquina, tell me you secrets!

~stacey Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (15:42) #1

*sigh* you, little man... little man of curious brain... you are growing tiresome for me... I shall think I grant you explanation for one of life's greatest enigmas ... because I said so .... there you have all you need to go forth and absorb the wisdom of the Almighty Pasquina.

~jgross Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (16:12) #2

I tiresome little man too. And I curious....sorta.... You got any extra mule feed, Almighty Pasquina, layin' around the store? So hungry.

~wolf Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (16:16) #3

who are you almighty pasquina? i've never heard of you before....

~stacey Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (16:45) #4

comida de la MULO is the comida for mi however, the 'store' of knowledge does not feed the body, oly the soul, which in turn feeds the mind that makes enough sense of the situation to feed the body so... because I SAID so! ah, lonesome wolfie... almighty pasquina existed eons before the realm of the federal government, perhaps that is why you know not of me... but, my dear soul, you never would 'hear' of me, only feel my power... BECAUSE I said so!

~ratthing Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (16:48) #5

~riette Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (16:55) #6

You've got ONE hypnotized, oh great lady!

~jgross Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (17:05) #7

Ray goes under so easy, though. Wer hypnotized him over the phone to drive up from San Antonio, clean up Little Italy right after closing, and drive back to San Antonio, with the post-hypnotic suggestion being, "Man, that felt great, I can't wait to do it again!"

~stacey Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (17:23) #8

*enigmatic holier-than-thou giggle*

~jgross Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (18:52) #9

Even I noticed, as I read the words of the Almighty Pasquina, my left eyelid always comes down and closes shut with a thump (and stays shut), while my right hand goes up in the air and starts waving at people. I can't do a thing about it. It's learnin' me to read her words in a room where I am the only one in it, unlike right now. 6 people here at work are lookin' at my right-hand-left-eye uncoordination and I believe they're asking me if I've already been a brain donor. Oh no, there it is again: this uncontrollable urge to feed the hogs from the window of a Winnebago wit Basquiat at my side. Whoa, I just got a long-distance call from JR's Bar and Grill in Idaho. Our Pasquina is mighty almighty. She almighty be able to makey anything happen.....if'n she does that thing with her "BECAUSE I said so!" phwewww....she for real...

~ratthing Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (20:31) #10

hey! watch it jim! i *wanted* to clean little italy. and to be told i am a bad, bad boy.

~jgross Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (21:57) #11

oh wise Almighty funny holy enigmatic Pasquina has Ray been a bad bad boy? (sorry for the tiresome little question) why has he been so bad bad? why was he given the name Ray? how many questions do you do? you say you're eons older than the federal government, but are you older'n Ray? (I sorry for being such a sorry tiresome little man again) I go ahead and submit response now, AP

~ratthing Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (22:25) #12

i thought i was the tiresome little man?

~jgross Wed, Dec 30, 1998 (23:33) #13

you are, Ray. you're so tiresome and little, it rubbed off on me. since it rubbed off, check yourself out: you might not be tiresome and little anymore. I wonder if I'm stuck with it, or if I can rub it off on someone like you did. Riette? hullo....ullo, where are you?.....Riette? umm, Riette, how would you like to be a tiresome little man? no? Rayyyyyy, I'm in a predicament. And if AP gets wind of it, I mighty be in a worse predicament. I'm afraid of her. her powers are awesome. her mind is unknowable. just anything can happen......and does..... cuz she says so

~riette Thu, Dec 31, 1998 (01:30) #14

I am pretty tiresome at this particular moment, so sure. Give me a plastic willy, and let's go.

~stacey Thu, Dec 31, 1998 (03:28) #15

(roflmao!!) (brief hitatus to recover!)

~KitchenManager Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (03:42) #16

Oh, ALMIGHTY P, what is my major malfunction?

~stacey Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (06:54) #17

fear. (and it's not really a malfunction, it just prevents you from being as happy as you could really be)

~KitchenManager Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (02:50) #18

ALMIGHTY P, what is it that I am most afraid of?

~stacey Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (03:04) #19

your instincts, your dreams, your desires (get your head outta the gutter... more than just those kinds of desires) WER, you're most afraid of being happy, because from there (in your mind) the only place to go is down. There ya have it! BECAUSE I SAID SO...

~KitchenManager Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (03:16) #20

But, and I hate to question the ALMIGHTY P, isn't personal happiness predominately unimportant in the overall scheme of things?

~stacey Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (03:18) #21

what use is the "overall scheme of things" matter if you're not happy?

~KitchenManager Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (12:53) #22

ALMIGHTY P, is a question really an answer?

~jgross Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (17:36) #23

watch her closely now.... she gonna go back back back in time right 'fore ya very eyes

~KitchenManager Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (17:59) #24

and with me on my back and going going going in time...

~stacey Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (18:05) #25

(perhaps WERs problems extend beyond fear...) A question is really an answer if it makes you go "huh?" like all true answers should. BECAUSE I SAID SO!

~wer Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (21:20) #26

O ALMIGHTY P, what would those extended problems be?

~ratthing Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (21:55) #27

excuse me, oh great, royal high majestiness, permit this lowly pimple of a subject to interject one impossibly small comment to the brave wer... wer, self-happines is where its AT! you have got to love yourself and be happy with yourself to get anything done in this world!!!!!!!

~stacey Thu, Jan 7, 1999 (02:32) #28

woo woo! Because he and I said so!!!

~PT Thu, Jan 7, 1999 (03:47) #29

He who?

~riette Sat, Jan 9, 1999 (13:35) #30

Priscilla, queen of the dessert.

~stacey Sat, Jan 9, 1999 (17:51) #31

(a fan-damn-tastic movie!)

~PT Tue, Jan 12, 1999 (18:24) #32

Sounds like an interesting movie if Priscilla is a he.

~stacey Wed, Jan 13, 1999 (09:50) #33

have you seen it??

~PT Wed, Jan 13, 1999 (14:39) #34

No, I have never heard of it before now.

~KitchenManager Wed, Jan 13, 1999 (15:07) #35

Should watch the Drew Carey show...

~PT Wed, Jan 13, 1999 (15:37) #36

I watch very little TV.

~wer Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (13:50) #37

(stay tuned for a rare picture of the ALLMIGHTY PASQUINA on the screwed couch)

~stacey Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (16:35) #38

really?

~PT Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (16:43) #39

Waiting....

~KitchenManager Fri, Jan 15, 1999 (23:09) #40

~stacey Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (01:17) #41

woo woo! she's HOT! *grin*

~PT Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (12:45) #42

That's great. Keep it up. I'd still like to see a picture though.

~stacey Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (13:01) #43

did you not look at post 40???

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (14:00) #44

tis true, I did say picture and not photograph...

~riette Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (14:48) #45

May I have a grape, Almighty Pasquina?

~stacey Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (15:38) #46

you may take it off the tip of my almighty tongue... because I SAID SO!!!!

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (23:29) #47

(remember, Guys, you got to see that here first!)

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 16, 1999 (23:34) #48

Oh, ALMIGHTY PASQUINA, which is more important in our conversations on the Spring: what we say or what we do not say?

~stacey Sun, Jan 17, 1999 (00:24) #49

when we do not say, we say more than when we use our words when we say, we are also not saying. because I SAID SO!

~KitchenManager Sun, Jan 17, 1999 (01:18) #50

yes, Zen mistress, I stand beside now...

~riette Sun, Jan 17, 1999 (01:37) #51

Then you can pick up that grape for me, can't you?

~KitchenManager Sun, Jan 17, 1999 (01:41) #52

off of her tongue? are you kidding? it'll be a raisin before I manage to give it to you!

~riette Mon, Jan 18, 1999 (01:41) #53

I'll just have to rip it savagely from yours.... BTW, how do you seperate the men from the boys in England? With a crowbar...

~KitchenManager Mon, Jan 18, 1999 (22:12) #54

Oh, ALMIGHTY PASQUINA, will this be a good thing?

~riette Tue, Jan 19, 1999 (01:08) #55

Fergive me, almaaaity Pascina! A'hm a Boer - A'h know no better!

~PT Wed, Jan 20, 1999 (20:33) #56

No better than what?

~stacey Sun, Jan 24, 1999 (19:42) #57

(the madcap hilarity never ceases to amaze me!) wuull, thombody thake this guape off mui thongue!!

~KitchenManager Mon, Jan 25, 1999 (00:22) #58

*sslurp!*

~stacey Mon, Jan 25, 1999 (16:30) #59

THANK you!

~KitchenManager Mon, Jan 25, 1999 (22:14) #60

yeah, yeah...

~riette Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (01:28) #61

And now you're going to keel over and die. Don't ya know the woman is holy??? PLLLLEEEEZE, almaaaaity Pascina, spare him!!! He didn't know! (And in my head she answers: 'Well, he fu�king knows NOW, doesn't he???'

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (02:19) #62

too easy, it'd never happen... she'd punish me with immortality...

~riette Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (01:52) #63

Or even worse: ABSTINANCE! You're going to have to ward her off with a condom and a can opener held out in the sign of the underpants!

~KitchenManager Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (13:01) #64

or just smear myself with raw meat, perhaps... (tell me again why I'm trying to keep her away)

~riette Mon, Feb 1, 1999 (01:27) #65

'Cos she wants to punish you in less pleasurable ways than spanking and a rod up yer ar$e.

~stacey Thu, Feb 7, 2036 (00:43) #66

Because I SAID so!

~KitchenManager Thu, Feb 11, 1999 (16:07) #67

Well, that settles that then, doesn't it?

~aschuth Fri, Apr 9, 1999 (08:55) #68

Ahem, hello?

~stacey Fri, Apr 9, 1999 (12:55) #69

YEEEESSSSSSSSS?

~aschuth Sat, Apr 10, 1999 (13:11) #70

Ahem, somebody mentioned your name lately to me, so I thought...

~KitchenManager Sat, Apr 10, 1999 (13:14) #71

(naughty, naughty)

~stacey Sat, Apr 10, 1999 (23:19) #72

I'm waiting...

~KitchenManager Sun, Apr 11, 1999 (00:37) #73

...but not for much longer!

~aschuth Mon, Apr 12, 1999 (04:02) #74

Ahem, sorry, but it was weekend, and I... (*cowered in FEAR*)

~KitchenManager Mon, Apr 12, 1999 (23:36) #75

(psst...hey, buddy, that's not gonna get you anywhere with her...)

~aschuth Tue, Apr 13, 1999 (10:49) #76

(Huh! - Oh, it's you. My, did you scare me... Well, I don't really know what I'm doing here. Somebody mentioned this name, and schwupp!, there I was...)

~KitchenManager Tue, Apr 13, 1999 (19:38) #77

Oh, ALMIGHTY PASQUINA, your humble Schuth, Alexander, request that you answer his most inmost inquiry! (hurry up and ask, Alexander!)

~aschuth Thu, Apr 15, 1999 (10:17) #78

(Oh, that's how it works! Thanks, mate!) Ahem, Pasquina, erh, Almighty, ahem - why am I here? I mean, why have I been willed here?

~stacey Thu, Apr 15, 1999 (10:31) #79

AHEM. Alexander, your will is indeed your own. You have willed yourself here and must look within the boundries of your heart and mind to discover why you remain. I, of course, already know but the sheer shock of externally forced reality might loosen your already tenuous grip... Because I SAID so!

~aschuth Fri, Apr 16, 1999 (13:53) #80

Oh. That, well, yes, thank you... (Mr. Roland, whazzis woman talking about?)

~KitchenManager Fri, Apr 16, 1999 (14:37) #81

(life, the universe, and free will, I believe...)

~aschuth Sat, Apr 17, 1999 (05:59) #82

(So you DO believe? But then this must be Paraspring... Let me sit down, everything turns around me...)

~KitchenManager Sat, Apr 17, 1999 (13:39) #83

(...as the sands through the hourglass...)

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