The Spring explains Alexander

there are things we 'see' in everyone here. They're assumptions based on electronic interaction. Sometimes they have merit and sometimes they do not. Either way, sometimes it's helpful to have a forum where people can speak freely about how they interpret you based on their limited information. I am simply not brave enough to sign up for such an onslaught! *grin*

See, where I come from, they say don't deal any harder than you can take yourself. Well, I stomped around this here virtual garden of Eden of yours, and voiced my opinion, and will continue to do so. But I thought it would be ok for you people to have a place to seriously talk to me. Consider this my soft spot. Also consider it's not at all WHAT people think one is, or HOW one is. One is. That's important.

umm... I can dish it out but I can't take it. is that so wrooooong? *laugh*

And every now and then some of intersect in real time and gain a whole new perspective on the conversation. And via the webcam we can experience each other via vhs tapes that get sent in. Are you taking a camcorder on your trip Stacey. Gee, I wish Ree would let me run the video of her that she sent, but I'm holding off pending her permission. I finally got it converted from that Swiss tv forat (PAL? SECAM?) to good 'ol American tv format (the world's worst).

no video camera... just one of those antiquated 35mm... STILL shots (the shame of it all!)

Haha, here you finally admit it, Terry! NTSC sucks! PAL rulez OK! On the intersect thing - Stacey, Can you guess who you won't meet at the airport tomorrow? I miss the chance in my lifetime, etc. (flatter, flatter). Next time around, maybe...

Oh, how come you can convert RI�TTE's tape, but not one I might send ya, Terry? You better come up with a good one, too! Stacey, if you feel like doing black and white fotography on this trip, try the Ilford XP2 film if you haven't yet. This is a 400 ASA film (quite sensitive, set camera according), that will be developed used C41 process, which is the same as colour film. Yes, with this very very fine grained film you can do really nice pics, and have them developed in any "process-while-U-wait"-lab or any overnight shop. Prints on color paper will have not grayscale tone, but purpleish-bluish (haven't tried THAT yet myself). On b/w paper as usual. This film can also be shot as 800 ASA (or even 1600 ASA), but will get more grainy (might be nice effect/sometimes neccessary in severe no light, no flash situations). The lab will have to "push" develop the film, so tell them about any different than standard settings. The XP2 is my favorite film, available in any good camera-shop. I use it a lot e.g when I go to parties, concerts, bars, everywhere light is bad, and shot what I may without a flash (I don't like that). I've even started to use it as my standard daylight film (at least fall to spring, when it's not soo bright outside) in the camera I alway cary with me at all times.

Oh Jesus, Terry, you KEPT THE TAPE??? God, no wonder you haven't been talking to me a great deal!!! You're embarrassed, aren't you?? ha-ha!! I have a question. I just bought a PAL/NTSC video recorder. So, why is my TV not compatible with the NTSC part??? It's only 4 years old, so what's wrong??=?

I'm not a physics or electronics expert, but may I try?

If you'll ever let us, I'll run it on a secret url.

which we'll only post the url of in inner...

and sure, Alexander, give it a whirl!

I'm not sure... I mean, you guys will laugh yourselves into a coma over that thing, I swear. It'll be so embarrassing. You know how on the spring.cam the picture that comes on the computer is always a still. Now, I know this thing'll catch me every time a bit of drool spurts outta ma ear or something. Or when that one little bit of snot tries to trickle out. And then Mike will kill my topic in Babes, and stick it into a whole new conference called, 'Freak'. Yes, Alex, please tell me about the tv thing. Is there anyway I can MAKE it play NTSC? American tapes are so much cheaper to buy than PAL.

can I just go over to Terry's house with some pizza and popcorn and watch it?

ha-ha! sure. At least it will cure your insomnia for good!

Ok, let's try. But promise not to laugh, Riette, and Terry, pls. help if I go wrong. Riette, that VCR is sold for the European market? Then the signal-out to the TV ought to be PAL, the European TV standard. If you bought it in a country where NTSC is used - the lower-quality, older US-standard -, then the signal-out would be NTSC. NTSC and PAL are different formats/ways to display video information on TVs, which are unfortunately incompatible. If you have a PAL/NTSC-VCR, your machine will - through some fancy juju - play tapes of either format to an attached TV-set. The output will be most likely in that country's typical format PAL *or* NTSC. One of them, mind you, not either of them. Unless, that is - and here you have some investigating to do - the voodoo priest who charmed the device into being was really having a good day. I could imagine somewhere a toggle to exist to change format of the output signal, too. Consult the manual for that.

that you're always thinking, always coming up with new and interesting and sometimes freakishly odd ideas... actually I meant exactly what I said!

don't you hate it when that happens!

Hey, Ree what if I just run it *once*, I really didn't see any drool, maybe we could put a black box over the drool like they do with women's tits on tv. You're great in the video, you give such a great guided tour of your little scene and your artwork, and you worked in some shots of other places. But I'd be glad to have a little private show over her for wer, ratthing, et al.

a stag party? for Ray's wedding?

Naw, Stacey, it's just being accused of "thinking". I'm through with that. Used to do that all the time. Didn't do me much good. Thinking is an evil way to ruining yourself. Don't think, do. Be. One might not look as smart and reflective as the others guys, but maybe you're not as unhappy, either. And what you described is simply the result of my declaring unilateral ceasefire to reasoning and coherence in thought. No mas! Ignorance Is Bliss.

Since I've been around here for a while, and there are questions about Alexander, I have taken the liberty to use this dedicated topic to explain my current acts to the Spring. Or to attempt to. I hope that if I fail (once more and most likely), I do so graciously.- For starters, please reread http://www.spring.net/yapp-bin/public/read/screwed/157.24 (above posting).- Now, there has been extensive discussion somewhere and a while ago on this here Spring, which - if I recollect it properly - fueled itself from the two extremes of my self-made claim of ignorance on one side, and certain topics created by me in the Cultures conference on the other side. Looking back, that discourse seems to have been motivated by several elements - an assumption of my incompetence, disappointment with personal traits of this here author, and most likely hurt feelings from a perceived aggression or transgression on my side. I was also experiencing interesting sensations myself, which I tried to contain, as I did not (and do not) want to cause any grief, especially not over myself. And I don't want to complicate matters unnecessary, since I believe in - who would've guessed - simplicity. I have let this exchange come to a rest. I have found out with this that is is very hard for me to transport certain concepts and perceptions into the English language (which is not my native tongue, remind you). This is true the more I see how I sometimes have problems articulating what I estimate to be ideas as fair as any other fellow's EVEN IN MY OWN LANGUAGE and get away with it unscalded. Call it ignorance or arrogance, if you wish, but I assume this is not my fault or due to any vicious intention or complete inability; neither is it the intended receipient's fault. It is - as far as my best guess gets me - the different interpretation of words assumed to have the same meaning for all parties involved. Difficulties in communication. Different cultural, social and personal images. Difficulties in letting differences be differences and accepting them as given (what people also call tolerance). So, any attempt to explain complex matters around here is a very challenging, romantic and naive task to me. Naive, because I never manage to explain myself to others intelligibl , but still try - especially when I try to explain things I do or feel about while I do not have have the slightest care in the world why I feel or act that way. Not everything need to be understood, just accepted (well, most of it, at least). (This communications disaster gets worse - or more interesting - whenever I happen onto the occasional sociologist who wants to tell me about the true teaching and how everybody else is wrong, because they are stupid. This works on me as sure as an allergy, makes me want to scratch myself and howl and run away. With which I don't want to put down the noble caste of sociologists, nor anybody about this here Spring; it's spectres of my past haunting me. I would like to state for the record - just to mak sure and for good measure - that I appreciate idealism and interest and caring a lot. Or at least as much as my capabilities allow me, since I don't know how much is a lot to you.) Huh. So many words. Gonna get worse. Get out now or stick around. Lately, I have been wondering again about, well, things. Based on my assumption that most of the Springizens are US-residents, and on the tremendous coverage of certain unhappy events in the USA in the last couple of years, I have taken the liberty to keep my eyes open and assimilate impressions. I have compared them against what I found to be general knowledge, personal experience and customs of other places. There are trends and patterns I sense, but I can't really reach them. Other features are rather obvious. Anyway, I have tried some things, put them up for incrimination (if that's the word) and comment. Again, a discourse grew out of this and developed in unexpected ways; there were personal agendas on the sides of all involved, presented in fascinating patterns and behaviors. At one point I realized that I did not deal with the subject I put up for discussion anymore. I experienced reactions that targeted me, questioning - again - my integrity, intention, interests. What I felt was something like, "Does he do that to cause grief?", and "He has no right to say things like that." Now, this all may not have been intended and it may all be just my imagination, which makes no difference at this point - it was was I gathered from it nevertheless, no matter if misreading innocent things or not. It got me thinking. I guess you realize by now that I do not appreciate thinking a lot. The whole concept is questionable. Vain rationalism or rationalistic vanities, doesn't matter. There are other ways to cope with life, and most days of the week, I do not fare ill with the means I prefer. Prefer for myself, mark that! I am not a missionary preaching an only truth, the only path, etc. I am. And that is good enough for me. Where was I? Ah, thinking! The poisonous snake at one's bosom, or rather, in one's mind. So, this little exchange of opinions, factoids and comments got me all wired up, trying to find arguments to demonstrate my intentions, defend myself, parry the perceived aggression-created-by-my-perceived-aggression. Within a few minutes I had hacked a brilliant (well, acceptable) response together, showing "The Truth", and my aims, and how this is not a correct view of me, etc., AND THE WHOLE DUMB BLAB!!! Which got me into a rough spot. Why should I defend myself against an subjectively perceived (possibly imaginary) attack, triggered - if real - by something felt as attack from my side? No way; I'm much for being naive about some things, but I'm not for escalating things just because some misunderstanding or imagined intolerance gives you a chance for some serious mayhem. I don't have to defend an non-existant cause, because I have hurt feelings. Or feel like I should have some, anyways, because somebody aid to me... You get the drift. Also, while I was in the thinking biz, what if these allegations are true? What if they are correct? What if they are unerringly true, as true as the fact that I am an ignorant (which - as you remember - I have defended at another time and will uphold)? Thinking is a vicious curse. Once you're at it, you can't stop it. Plus it accelerates and gets more intense; even the more so, the more creative a person is in coming up with stupid things. It eats at your heart. Or whatever you work with. So, what if these subjectively perceived and most likely unintended allegations are true? Not intended to be true, but like the proverbial shot in the dark... (it was night-time my time by then, by the way). I scrapped my oh-so brilliant response - which was really long by that time, elaborate and perhaps even a bit insightful, but nothing would I gain or benefit from this but fan the fire -, switched the box off, and sat on the loggia for a while, stunned. Hurt, too, but not from outside actions, just from possible insight. As Barry propagates other concepts for steering societies, I progagate for myself anything but thinking. Been there, done that. A lot, by which I mean a major LOT. Nothing really positive ever came out of it. I was happy not to rely on this treacherous tool. However, I'm stuck with it for the moment, with this and the severe insight of my I-Still-Don't-Know-How-To-Spell-It-Is-It-One-Or-Two-G's-In-Bigottry. Been thinking since that moment above, around and below it. No way out. Face the fact, I-Still-Don't-Know-How-To-Spell-It-Is-It-One-Or-Two-G's-But-I-Guess-I-Am-A-Bigott. Perhaps not less or more than the average bloke, but perhaps even worse, too. Who can tell. So, this thinking pained me - in other ways, too - and the whole week, the most fun idea I had was how to live with this by ridiculing it while making the fellow Springizens aware of it. Picket myself (is that the expression for it?). Grow my sense of humour back out of this grotesque absurdity. Repent. Restart. Relogin.- That's all there is. I apologize that it is so pathetic, but that's how things are, most of the time. Pathetic. Simple. Easy. Hard to describe, though. With the finest regards, A.

excellently worded, Alexander! and, possibly unbeknownst to you, your phrase: "Thinking is a vicious curse. Once you're at it, you can't stop it. Plus it accelerates and gets more intense; even the more so, the more creative a person is in coming up with stupid things. It eats at your heart. Or whatever you work with. " very accurately explains wer and thanks for the post!

Passion and deep thought can mix, I actually enjoy the intensity of a passionate arguement (as long as it doesn't jump in my pocket and climb on my back and as long as it has nothing to do with romantic love...) but I appreciate your feelings. Thinking is indeed a vicious curse. I am truly a masochist and continue to call upon its voodoo presence again and again. But I think with my heart and my head in no apparent order with nothing but free verse... I'm sorry if my passion for the topics mentioned in the US Culture topics had anything to do with your hurt feelings or perceived aggression. But please explain to me (because I now perceive aggression and am beginning to feel like a frekin' dolt for not getting the 'joke' about bigot). Did someone call you a bigot (did I??) Did someone imply you were one? I suppose I'm extra curious because I'm taking your 'what I feel are snide' remarks personally and wonder what I did/said to deserve them? (or perhaps I am the one being self-centered and assuming I am the source of your frustration!) Alas... it must be the curse of the thinking woman... Regardless of whether or not I am the bane upon your existence, thanks for posting! (And don't you DARE point out all my spelling errors! *grin*)