dodging work by getting screwed

any takers?

here i am!

you gonna be here Monday afternoon?

i would think so...

I would think so, too, however what I think and what goes on in reality usually don't coincide...

but here I am nonetheless!

and/or all the more!

here her!

think I'd rather hear you...here or there... (if given the options and all...)

just kind of an esoteric response to get your mind thinking

esoteric...erotic... hey, I'll take what I can get!

*laugh* great word association!

*simile*

how metaphorical!

at least it's not metamorphical!

but it seems metaphysical

and, as we all know, physical is good

does that make meta bad?

not implicitly, but we could probably make it so if we tried real hard...

...aw, keedz, don't try so hard, y'all only get all cramped up over it. Go eeeeasy, right? Easy does it!

Oops, interrupted another conversation at the wrong time. Aloha, Alexander!

Aloha, Marcia!

...and I am not dodging work, either...! *sigh*

No Work, or no dodging?

Not much reason to dodge...as in this topic...unless I do it solo while O'O is off trying to insure a monument to him is erected in his lifetime...*frown*

hmh.

What does he want a monument for, Marcia? And does he KNOW what birds do to monuments, regardless of how wonderful the people are they're dedicated to???

*sigh* There is not enough applause for this man in the entire world. He keeps needing more. One is never grateful enough. I am always accused of taking him for granted... Anyhow, when I volunteer my services, I am busy looking for what needs to be done and doing it quietly in the background. I think it is unnecessary to make a big show of gratitude...it makes what I did seem somehow purchased rather than given freely by me. On the other hand, he makes a show of doing what he does, does things very w ll, incidentally, but HE decides what someone needs and it might not be what was desired or needed. He built a Hall of Fame Room of Koa Panelling and indirect lighting - all very lovely. He now needs to be a member of it. To gain this end, I am to importune everyone I can collar to vote for him. I have done this before and hated doing it. If one merits something, it should come as a delightful surprise, not as a bribe. So, I am supposed to be collaring the committee again to get him in - for the thi d time. I absolutely HATE this!!! He wants the softball field named after him, too. Originally he wanted an honorary Doctorate (out of the question)... He must not be as secure about himself as I thought he was...or something! I will hire pigeons if they erect a statue and chain the little buggers to his ears!

Our little university doesn't even confer real doctorates, let alone honorary ones. He WILL one day be elected to his Hall of Fame, but the more he electioneers for it, the more people will (silently, because they don't want to lose his work) resist it. But I think the original members of the Boosters will have to get their consideration first before he gets his (BTW, he is worthy of conclusion--but just like anyone who builds a body of work waiting for that lifetime achievement award, he has to wait hi turn until the other worthy ones who came along before are considered).

Dang this YAPP--that is "inclusion"

(I knew!) Of course, what you say is true, and it is humiliating to be dragged into it each year. One of the stipulations when I returned to Hilo with him last year was I was NOT going to do this again. Well, where his ego is concerned, I do not matter. As for the degrees, I told him that too, when he first proposed it. My least favorite people are glory hounds, and he is a prime example. I am embarrassed by his behavior and do not know how to extricate myself from it. I will not alienate myself fr m any more people by doing his bidding. I have HAD it!

Why did you say you were still with him, again? I keep forgetting.

I think she said something about him having the energy of a 15-year-old in bed *SMILE*

Yes, John, there is that, and Ree, I do need some looking after. He is good for that, makes sure I eat regularly even if it is some interesting concoction he has invented just for that meal. He loves me enough to put up with what he calls my "nonsense" online all day and part of the evening. He is always good for a hug when I need one. As long as these factors outweigh the negatives, he will be here with me. Slowly, but surely, they are eroding the good parts. We will see. Taking it slowly enables e to judge my options and to make carefully thought-out decisions. I am not so sure that once my son gets settled with Iris, I will not split from here...but some of that depends upon him.

Despite his insecurity and his ever-growing need for recognition, those of us who know Ray recognize and value his talents, and although he may not be intellectual or understand the need for stimulation in that area, he is a basically decent fellow.

Yes, John. Thank you for pointing that out. At times I lose sight of that fact, but in the end, when all else is pared away, there is a very decent man who loves me more than perhaps I deserve. I shall try harder to understand him.

I would consider myself very lucky if someone loved me in that manner. But you are deserving. I only wish he were a little more secure, as you do.

I would consider myself unlucky. It is unfair to put people on pedestals - there is no way one can live up to such a distorted image.

I'd settle for the pedestal. I'm 46 and no one has never really loved me. For real, for a distorted image, anything. I've had girlfriends--and one wife, but when push came to shove, none who loved me.

Don't get me wrong. I don't feel sorry for myself. But I would like to know what it feels like to have someone worship the ground I walk on (not the "I love you as a friend biz").

It is a double-edged sword, John, to have someone worship you in that manner. They become possessive and are offended if you have any interests whatever that are not their interests. I thought it would be flattering and wonderful. Now, I consider it obsessive and manipulative...I am a means to an end and a trinket to dangle in front of others - "look at the brilliant wife I managed to land and she is all mine!!!" (despite the fact that I am not married to him)...He is also costing me my credibility at UHHilo by requiring me to plead against my wishes for his HoFame deal. How does one balance these things so I do not self-destruct? I have been almost that desperate. He has already cost me all of my friends...!

There IS something between friendly love and worship. If a guy has the guts to put me in my place when I need it, I feel far more loved than if he allows me to grow more and more selfish, which is a big tendency with me. When one person worships another it is not love, it is loving the IDEA of being in love. There's nothing real about that.

I think John would like to experience the sensation, but would find it cloying and stifling in short order. I think we are all selfish creatures when given the chance...I am reminded not to be so every once in a while, and the point is well taken. Good points, Ree!

I've never experienced the in-between either. As for what you said, Marcia, it hasn't cost you ALL your friends. I also think that people are smart enough to know where the real pressure is...just as when O'O cornered me once several years ago and said that something I said or did (I don't remember what it was--it was eons ago) "offended Marcia." I am smart enough to know that he was the one who was offended and if you were offended, you would have told me. BTW, it was him I apologized to, because I k ow if you felt I owed you an apology, you would tell me (wouldn't you?)

Sounds to me like O'O also needs a good bollocking every once in a while .... Hope you DO that, Marcia,

Bollocking? Is that, like, knocking something over his head? 8={}

Oh John, I would have spoken to you directly, and I know what it was with which he was offended on my behalf...those wonderful humor files you send *grin* which never offend me...in fact, I do not think it would be possible for you to offend me because we like each other too much! I would never send someone else to deliver a message to you. I like talking to you too much. I am just sorry he felt it necessary to protect the purity of my mind...or whatever. Thank you for being so perceptive *hugs*

Umm...Ree, dear, could you tell me a little more specifically what I am to do in order to bollock this man...I'd hate to hurt something I enjoy using, by mistake!

As to the friends...John is right that I have not lost them...they all know what the problem is. It is just their conversation which I have lost unless there is an unguarded moment or two that I can steal. I still get benevolent smiles from Alton when I am alone, and such sweet things as that...makes me yearn for the Volleyball game this weekend just to see friends again *happy smile* Get better fast, John...I need to see you at the game!

Thanks. I'll do my best.

A 'bollocking' is putting one's foot down. FIRMLY. As in, 'If you really want to show me that you love me, mind your own goddamn business! Give me space and I'll come to you; otherwise, don't expect ANYTHING from me.' And act accordingly.

I think I am being bollocked myself. I have scarcely had three words from him and it is not getting any better. I like what you say about love and giving space, but this antedeluvian male I am cohabiting with is of the old school - the little woman follows ME...she needs no space! With this stubborn man I must be prepared to live with the consequences of putting that firm foot down.

NO, NO, NO! You HAVE A CHOICE, Marcia. Is the idea of being alone and open to new friendships really more scary than living with a man who sees you as 'the little woman'? You are unhappy, and obviously growing unhappier as time goes on. You say it is love, but I tell you it is not: it is abuse when there is an opresser and an opressed in a relationship. What he feels is not love for you, it is love of power. If he cannot respect you, then TEACH him respect for you; if he cannot be taught, then l t him rot in his ignorance.

You are not the first to tell me this is abuse. I guess I really know that it is, and is the reason I went missing for 4 months last year. Perhaps the men (Hello, John) who see him as decent mean it in a whole different context. He is all sweetness and light to everyone else. He saves the prison for me in the privacy of my OWN home!

I only see his public face. But my dad was a terrible husband (albeit a good father) at home, but highly respected in the community. But Ree is right. If you feel trapped, you do have a choice, but it's you who have to put the foot down. No one else will.

amen..

BTW, being home sick is a type of dodging work by getting screwed...

Hmmm. Defenitely. Damn, now I'm getting homesick as well! And I was already yesterday!

There's a difference between "home sick" and "homesick."

John are you sick AGAIN!?!?!

What is the matter, John?

He had laryngitis and the flu...tis going around and I am knocking on everything wooden in the hope I do not get it. I am off to the doctor's in an hour to find out how to handle what I am going through - to keep me from the depression which is rendering me incabible of action...and to check on my general health. Aloha!

Depression? Everything ok with you Marcia? Makes me worry...

yeah MArcia! Take care of yourself!

I'm praying for you, Marcia

I'm pulling for ya' too, Marcia.

I'm, uh, doing whatever I always do...

Stop picking yer nose Alexander!

NOBODY WAS WATCHING! Damn, this is MY office!

Big Brother is ALWAYS watching

Aw, behave! That guy? On my paylist!

Thanks all...those encouraging words mean a terrific amount to me right about now. My really cool MD took a look at me (know us from Softball) poked and listened and pronounced me fine. Stuck me with a flu shot and laughed sadly about the 174/98 BP - when I told him what was causing it. His advice was to let it blow over and die an natural death then resume normal life as before. I think that merits following - because you all said it one time or another, too. I am still tall, svelte, limber and have a sparkly personality - he said I could not miss with that combo...so I am renewed, got my self-worth in prospective and to he�� with the resident drain cleaner. *grinning happily and smugly*

WAY TO GO, GIRL!!!!

you betcha...working on it!