screwed&#x27;s first 5-word story &mdash; Screwed &mdash; The Spring BBS Archive

~ratthing Wed, Aug 19, 1998 (10:52) seed

the rules are simple: each response should be 5 words long. and all of the responses should be able to be linked together to form a story!

~ratthing Wed, Aug 19, 1998 (10:53) #1

It was a dark and

~autumn Wed, Aug 19, 1998 (14:44) #2

musty closet they found themselves

~ratthing Wed, Aug 19, 1998 (14:58) #3

eating in. Pizza and rat

~riette Wed, Aug 19, 1998 (15:49) #4

thingies. Tasty thingies, those.

~autumn Thu, Aug 20, 1998 (20:07) #5

So anyway, they decided to

~ratthing Thu, Aug 20, 1998 (21:17) #6

leave the closet and head

~autumn Thu, Aug 20, 1998 (21:39) #7

to the bomb shelter for

~KitchenManager Thu, Aug 20, 1998 (23:14) #8

a quick game of Monopoly.

~riette Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (01:50) #9

But it was boring with

~KitchenManager Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (02:26) #10

no extra bananas or ice

~riette Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (07:22) #11

to mash up inside

~stacey Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (19:05) #12

their panties. So they crawled

~KitchenManager Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (23:02) #13

out of the closet towards

~riette Sat, Aug 22, 1998 (01:28) #14

the bed. Under it they

~ratthing Mon, Aug 24, 1998 (08:55) #15

found what appeared to be

~autumn Mon, Aug 24, 1998 (21:31) #16

funky little pieces of

~riette Tue, Aug 25, 1998 (01:03) #17

baby crap. How these got

~KitchenManager Tue, Aug 25, 1998 (23:41) #18

under the grilled cheese sandwiches

~riette Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (01:49) #19

nobody knew. But hunger is

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (07:39) #20

is an obvious choice for

~autumn Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (11:37) #21

people without food. So they

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (11:40) #22

ate dinner and built a

~autumn Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (11:44) #23

model airplane to hang in

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (11:56) #24

the refrigerator with both of

~autumn Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (12:22) #25

the model Panzer tanks. Next

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (12:23) #26

to the pickled turkey gizzards,

~stacey Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (12:37) #27

sat the Commandant, with four

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (12:43) #28

inches of salami extruding from

~stacey Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (12:53) #29

his left ear. Under the

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (13:11) #30

tattoo of Great Britain he

~autumn Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (15:32) #31

had an extra finger growing

~KitchenManager Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (15:36) #32

there as well. Now, however,

~ratthing Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (21:36) #33

both the finger and tattoo

~riette Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (01:42) #34

popped off in what seemed

~KitchenManager Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (09:15) #35

to be a defensive measure

~riette Thu, Aug 27, 1998 (11:20) #36

against acute bodily disintegration.

~ratthing Fri, Aug 28, 1998 (23:43) #37

Terrified, the homosexual midgets that

~riette Sat, Aug 29, 1998 (01:12) #38

were admiring the tattoo, dashed

~autumn Sun, Aug 30, 1998 (16:24) #39

out to their waiting car.

~riette Mon, Aug 31, 1998 (01:35) #40

The got in, closed the

~ratthing Tue, Sep 1, 1998 (21:27) #41

open festering wound on the

~KitchenManager Tue, Sep 1, 1998 (23:20) #42

Real Doll that came in

~terry Wed, Sep 2, 1998 (15:22) #43

with the extra orifices included

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 2, 1998 (16:34) #44

(at no extra charge) for

~autumn Thu, Sep 3, 1998 (23:19) #45

the FE secretions! What a

~riette Fri, Sep 4, 1998 (05:31) #46

bloody mess. Now somebody would

~ratthing Fri, Sep 4, 1998 (09:32) #47

normally be repulsed by this

~autumn Fri, Sep 4, 1998 (23:30) #48

but we are just amused.

~riette Sat, Sep 5, 1998 (01:53) #49

Rolling on the floor laughing

~stacey Sun, Sep 6, 1998 (03:21) #50

at the five-toed sloth that

~ratthing Sun, Sep 6, 1998 (15:53) #51

looked as if it had

~autumn Sun, Sep 6, 1998 (22:10) #52

just gorged itself on a

~terry Mon, Sep 7, 1998 (07:43) #53

nice, big, fat potato patty

~riette Tue, Sep 8, 1998 (03:56) #54

with some dip to go

~terry Tue, Sep 8, 1998 (08:24) #55

along with it, ya know.

~riette Wed, Sep 9, 1998 (01:52) #56

Then the following thing happened:

~ratthing Wed, Sep 9, 1998 (09:20) #57

Time, as we know it

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 9, 1998 (09:42) #58

backed up a step, turned

~ratthing Wed, Sep 9, 1998 (22:07) #59

back two centuries, then began

~riette Thu, Sep 10, 1998 (05:29) #60

the singing of the famous

~riette Thu, Sep 10, 1998 (05:29) #61

Z�rich gay choir.

~autumn Thu, Sep 10, 1998 (21:36) #62

Then they all went straight

~ratthing Mon, Sep 14, 1998 (11:21) #63

and obsessed over pornographic images

~riette Tue, Sep 15, 1998 (01:03) #64

of naked turtles in Gstaad.

~wolf Tue, Sep 15, 1998 (12:00) #65

Centuries later, the turtles are

~riette Tue, Sep 15, 1998 (13:02) #66

taken to Hollywood, where they

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 16, 1998 (12:43) #67

make money at being naked.

~riette Wed, Sep 16, 1998 (14:25) #68

One of these famous turtles

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 16, 1998 (21:30) #69

sold statuettes of his own

~autumn Wed, Sep 16, 1998 (22:29) #70

Naked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

~riette Thu, Sep 17, 1998 (01:26) #71

The fortune they made from

~autumn Fri, Sep 18, 1998 (17:21) #72

their honey mustard empire was

~riette Mon, Sep 21, 1998 (22:01) #73

handed over to the Swiss

~ratthing Mon, Sep 21, 1998 (22:25) #74

Cheese Authority, which is responsible

~riette Mon, Sep 21, 1998 (22:54) #75

for punching holes in them.

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 23, 1998 (03:27) #76

Never ones to be discouraged,

~terry Wed, Sep 23, 1998 (07:17) #77

they ordered a revolutionary punch

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 23, 1998 (07:21) #78

bowl to use as a

~ratthing Wed, Sep 23, 1998 (10:35) #79

odd sex toy to attempt

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 23, 1998 (11:33) #80

the political coup of the

~riette Thu, Sep 24, 1998 (01:30) #81

White House.

~autumn Fri, Sep 25, 1998 (13:32) #82

Easily accomplished with a cigar,

~KitchenManager Fri, Sep 25, 1998 (14:08) #83

and navigated through the hallways,

~riette Sat, Sep 26, 1998 (00:47) #84

in all SORTS of ways

~autumn Sat, Sep 26, 1998 (22:13) #85

at all SORTS of times

~riette Sun, Sep 27, 1998 (03:51) #86

and sordidly.

~stacey Mon, Sep 28, 1998 (20:25) #87

But on the eve of

~riette Tue, Sep 29, 1998 (01:23) #88

the attacks from Mars, they

~terry Tue, Sep 29, 1998 (20:00) #89

put Monica on the lawn

~stacey Wed, Sep 30, 1998 (03:00) #90

calling out all of the

~riette Wed, Sep 30, 1998 (07:30) #91

cigars that didn't have sex

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 30, 1998 (11:43) #92

but really, really wanted to.

~riette Wed, Sep 30, 1998 (13:29) #93

Now president Clit-on stepped forward....

~KitchenManager Wed, Sep 30, 1998 (20:37) #94

tripping over the old Ford

~riette Thu, Oct 1, 1998 (01:27) #95

advert lying on the pavement.

~autumn Thu, Oct 1, 1998 (15:54) #96

Helping Monica to her knees,

~KitchenManager Sun, Oct 4, 1998 (16:58) #97

thereafter introducing her to the

~riette Mon, Oct 5, 1998 (02:30) #98

Spice Girls, dressed in their

~terry Tue, Oct 6, 1998 (21:10) #99

bras and skimpy panties only.

~KitchenManager Tue, Oct 6, 1998 (23:54) #100

Feeling as overdressed as always,

~riette Wed, Oct 7, 1998 (03:41) #101

pouting like constipated horse backsides,

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 7, 1998 (18:06) #102

and wagging their tails likewise,

~wolf Sat, Oct 10, 1998 (20:15) #103

they strutted the lawn while

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (12:17) #104

having their own patches of

~stacey Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (12:21) #105

insidious-looking welts and lesions that

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (12:35) #106

generally have the ability to

~terry Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (14:49) #107

tend-to heal up rather quickly

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (15:04) #108

especially considering all of the

~autumn Thu, Oct 15, 1998 (20:12) #109

bacteria that thrive in there.

~wolf Thu, Oct 15, 1998 (20:23) #110

CDC is researching their immune

~autumn Thu, Oct 15, 1998 (20:31) #111

enhancing properties, in the hopes

~KitchenManager Fri, Oct 16, 1998 (12:44) #112

that they may enhance our

~sonja Fri, Oct 16, 1998 (13:43) #113

sense of vision? (not very good with this sort a' thing)

~wolf Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (10:31) #114

Sense of vision, yes. Because

~KitchenManager Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (13:12) #115

one cannot truly see until

~sonja Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (13:16) #116

one opens one's eyes.

~KitchenManager Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (13:21) #117

Therefore, taking the CDC's lead,

~jgross Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (00:41) #118

smearing some on my eyes,

~riette Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (01:31) #119

and both my....toe nails

~wolf Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (21:26) #120

I quickly followed the turtles

~terry Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (21:39) #121

down to the raging river

~jgross Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (22:48) #122

and drank it right up

~sonja Mon, Oct 19, 1998 (10:58) #123

before resuming my journey to

~wolf Mon, Oct 19, 1998 (11:05) #124

the flip side. Once there,

~sonja Tue, Oct 20, 1998 (10:11) #125

I felt hungry, so I

~stacey Tue, Oct 20, 1998 (19:52) #126

began carving BitOHoney's out of

~KitchenManager Tue, Oct 20, 1998 (23:17) #127

my dog Sparky, the pride

~sonja Wed, Oct 21, 1998 (11:01) #128

of the neighbourhood. He tasted

~wolf Wed, Oct 21, 1998 (18:21) #129

french fries with mustard and

~jgross Wed, Oct 21, 1998 (23:04) #130

parsley and a pear tree.

~wolf Thu, Oct 22, 1998 (09:59) #131

*laugh* I didn't feel well so

~jgross Thu, Oct 22, 1998 (18:56) #132

I hung with the wolves

~autumn Thu, Oct 22, 1998 (22:58) #133

and retched behind a shrub.

~sonja Fri, Oct 23, 1998 (10:30) #134

(LOL) I got up and yawned.

~autumn Sun, Oct 25, 1998 (23:14) #135

After pouring myself a drink,

~KitchenManager Tue, Oct 27, 1998 (22:54) #136

and buying a round for

~autumn Wed, Oct 28, 1998 (13:40) #137

some of my best friends,

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 28, 1998 (15:49) #138

I looked down only to

~wolf Wed, Oct 28, 1998 (20:15) #139

find my shoelaces tied together.

~KitchenManager Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (20:31) #140

"What a bitch!" I shouted

~KitchenManager Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (20:36) #141

at the midgets and the

~jgross Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (21:54) #142

ducklings they were sheepishly chasing

~KitchenManager Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (22:28) #143

over the hills and through

~jgross Fri, Oct 30, 1998 (16:55) #144

heroic doses of psilocybin mushrooms

~wolf Sat, Oct 31, 1998 (14:01) #145

where they collapsed. I say

~riette Sun, Nov 1, 1998 (00:39) #146

once more, "What a bitch!"

~KitchenManager Wed, Nov 4, 1998 (14:05) #147

"Damned straight and fuckin' a!"

~KitchenManager Wed, Nov 4, 1998 (14:10) #148

responded the ducklings in unison.

~autumn Wed, Nov 4, 1998 (20:13) #149

After finally untying my shoelaces,

~KitchenManager Fri, Nov 6, 1998 (12:22) #150

and publicly adjusting myself, I

~autumn Sat, Nov 7, 1998 (16:22) #151

made my way to the

~wolf Sat, Nov 7, 1998 (19:18) #152

Port-O-John, located conveniently next to

~autumn Mon, Nov 9, 1998 (22:36) #153

the boarded-up snowball stand.

~KitchenManager Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (10:24) #154

Knocking twice before opening the

~autumn Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (21:58) #155

flimsy door, I was surprised

~wolf Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (08:16) #156

to find myself already there.

~TIM Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (21:49) #157

"What are you doing here?"

~wolf Sun, Nov 15, 1998 (11:15) #158

I said to myself. Then

~TIM Sun, Nov 15, 1998 (11:26) #159

I realized that I was

~TIM Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (12:07) #160

looking in a mirror at

~wolf Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (17:49) #161

this beast I didn't recognize.

~TIM Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (17:49) #162

I realized that it wasn't

~riette Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (02:03) #163

a practical thing to be.

~KitchenManager Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (23:16) #164

And even less practical is

~riette Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (01:29) #165

not being that unpractical thing.

~ratthing Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (21:57) #166

Practically speaking, the french elves

~PT Thu, Jan 7, 1999 (03:28) #167

made their dough, and kneaded

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 23, 1999 (00:38) #168

the buttocks of the elf

~riette Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (01:52) #169

pummeling it all the way.

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (02:04) #170

Over the river and through

~terry Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (03:00) #171

the dale and under the

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (12:55) #172

purple mountains majesty, the parade

~riette Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (02:12) #173

followed the road to the

~ratthing Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (14:27) #174

scene of the gruesome butchering

~KitchenManager Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (16:56) #175

of all the king's men

~terry Mon, Feb 1, 1999 (09:19) #176

and all the kings arses

~riette Mon, Apr 26, 1999 (10:07) #177

farted together in perfect harmony.

~KitchenManager Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (01:29) #178

Which of course, meant that

~riette Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (05:41) #179

a great and holy aroma

~terry Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (09:06) #180

wafted from the arena football

~KitchenManager Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (23:23) #181

arena when one of the

~ratthing Fri, Apr 30, 1999 (13:39) #182

group of wer's women suddenly

~KitchenManager Sat, May 1, 1999 (00:11) #183

started liking him the way

~riette Mon, May 3, 1999 (01:11) #184

he would like being liked.

~KitchenManager Mon, May 3, 1999 (22:10) #185

Or was that being licked?

~autumn Sat, Mar 16, 2002 (16:04) #186

Well, as I was saying,

~MarciaH Mon, Mar 18, 2002 (18:33) #187

Autumn, we are all ears!

~autumn Tue, Mar 19, 2002 (18:28) #188

It's been a long time

~MarciaH Tue, Mar 19, 2002 (19:04) #189

No time like the present...

~MarciaH Tue, Mar 19, 2002 (19:05) #190

'Twas Dark and Stormy Night...

~terry Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (06:47) #191

And the creek started to rise up . . .

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (14:18) #192

My boat had a hole...

~autumn Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (17:03) #193

and the paddles floated away.

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (23:04) #194

They were up the creek...

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (23:12) #195

Dispair was quickly setting in

~autumn Fri, Mar 22, 2002 (21:14) #196

when, ahead in the distance,

~MarciaH Fri, Mar 22, 2002 (21:23) #197

was it??? Could it be...?

~SBRobinson Thu, Mar 28, 2002 (18:07) #198

It was! A great big...

~autumn Thu, Mar 28, 2002 (18:38) #199

St. Bernard with a bottle

~MarciaH Thu, Mar 28, 2002 (18:50) #200

We were saved! But...LOOK!!!

~SBRobinson Fri, Mar 29, 2002 (11:02) #201

With the St. Bernard was,

~MarciaH Fri, Mar 29, 2002 (19:39) #202

The Abominable snowman lunging at

~autumn Sat, Mar 30, 2002 (19:07) #203

the Loch Ness monster, visible

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 1, 2002 (12:14) #204

through the telescope, attached to

~autumn Fri, Apr 5, 2002 (13:59) #205

the prow of our boat.

~SBRobinson Fri, Apr 5, 2002 (14:57) #206

The boat was pink and

~MarciaH Fri, Apr 5, 2002 (16:27) #207

sinking rapidly into the sea

~autumn Tue, Apr 9, 2002 (17:57) #208

We swam towards the shore

~MarciaH Tue, Apr 9, 2002 (19:43) #209

chased by an enormous menacing

~wolf Wed, Apr 10, 2002 (16:06) #210

shark, a great big white

~SBRobinson Wed, Apr 10, 2002 (17:43) #211

It raced forward, jaws snapping

~MarciaH Wed, Apr 10, 2002 (18:18) #212

spurring us onward faster still

~autumn Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (11:04) #213

until, panting, we flopped onshore.

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (16:36) #214

Exhausted, we slept till sunrise

~wolf Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (17:15) #215

despite the strange noises from

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (17:28) #216

the wild tropical birds flying

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (20:31) #217

over the erupting volcano

~AotearoaKiwi Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (20:44) #218

as the ground shook the

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (20:46) #219

and the earth opened up.

~wolf Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (21:11) #220

But we were wore-out, nothing

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 15, 2002 (23:21) #221

left to do but pray

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 16, 2002 (09:59) #222

that we would be rescued

~AotearoaKiwi Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (01:54) #223

In the meantime a new

~SBRobinson Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (09:40) #224

problem arose. We were attacked

~autumn Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (14:24) #225

by killer bees swarming us

~MarciaH Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (15:22) #226

but instead of stinging us

~SBRobinson Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (15:30) #227

they burst into song; "Oklahoma..."

~MarciaH Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (15:39) #228

accompanied by their whirring wings

~SBRobinson Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (15:41) #229

& a flock of nearby geese.

~MarciaH Wed, Apr 17, 2002 (15:56) #230

honking and buzzing was deafening

~autumn Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (14:07) #231

so we killed them all.

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (14:09) #232

Stranded on a deserted island,

~wolf Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (17:01) #233

I'm sure glad I had

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (17:03) #234

a sexy Navy Seal to

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (18:06) #235

share the dark of night

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (18:09) #236

and protect me from harm.

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (18:19) #237

which was lurking in the

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 22, 2002 (18:25) #238

dark, creepy night. A breeze

~autumn Tue, Apr 23, 2002 (14:32) #239

stirred over our sweaty, naked

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 23, 2002 (16:14) #240

toes. Luckily, i had painted

~wolf Tue, Apr 23, 2002 (17:07) #241

them neon green so that

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 23, 2002 (18:03) #242

i could find them in

~autumn Wed, Apr 24, 2002 (14:08) #243

the dark. On the island

~wolf Wed, Apr 24, 2002 (18:39) #244

there were many caves and

~MarciaH Wed, Apr 24, 2002 (20:02) #245

bats and other crawly things

~SBRobinson Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (14:20) #246

That SEAL came in handy. (bug killing detail)

~MarciaH Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (14:46) #247

He was the Navy's finest

~SBRobinson Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (14:51) #248

and my personal hero. Unfortunately,

~MarciaH Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (15:35) #249

Because he brought along a

~SBRobinson Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (15:42) #250

Big Bird doll, i thought

~wolf Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (17:33) #251

does he have any friends?

~SBRobinson Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (17:53) #252

Maybe Bert and Ernie? Or

~wolf Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (17:59) #253

someone without a big bird?

~SBRobinson Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (18:28) #254

Like another Navy SEAL? or

~MarciaH Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (19:50) #255

even a geologist with a

~MarciaH Thu, Apr 25, 2002 (19:50) #256

(This is getting hilarious!!!)

~SBRobinson Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (10:02) #257

Blue Tooth named Harold. So,

~MarciaH Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (15:52) #258

taking up my rock hammer

~SBRobinson Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (16:15) #259

i put up the hammick

~MarciaH Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (16:23) #260

Harold motioned to join me

~autumn Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (16:27) #261

but brought Big Bird too.

~SBRobinson Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (16:36) #262

*Laughing* So i brought Bert & Ernie

~wolf Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (16:44) #263

and Oscar the Grouch who

~SBRobinson Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (16:58) #264

sneezed and sprayed cookie crumbs

~MarciaH Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (18:53) #265

all over the jellyfish I

~wolf Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (20:11) #266

had just rescued from the

~MarciaH Fri, Apr 26, 2002 (22:24) #267

clutches of a huge hungry

~wolf Sat, Apr 27, 2002 (12:01) #268

giant turtle who was at

~MarciaH Sat, Apr 27, 2002 (14:44) #269

was basking just off shore

~wolf Sat, Apr 27, 2002 (15:37) #270

but close enough to me

~MarciaH Sat, Apr 27, 2002 (17:45) #271

to bite my finger off

~autumn Sun, Apr 28, 2002 (12:23) #272

We roasted the jellyfish and

~MarciaH Sun, Apr 28, 2002 (15:46) #273

made a sauce from the

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 29, 2002 (09:40) #274

left over cookie crumbs. Next,

~autumn Mon, Apr 29, 2002 (12:12) #275

took a hike to investigate

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 29, 2002 (12:44) #276

the alligator swamp near by.

~wolf Mon, Apr 29, 2002 (17:45) #277

I wish Steve Irwin was

~SBRobinson Mon, Apr 29, 2002 (18:17) #278

here, but alas, he was

~MarciaH Mon, Apr 29, 2002 (20:20) #279

one swamp ahead of us

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 30, 2002 (09:36) #280

wearing Bert & Ernie underwear.

~MarciaH Tue, Apr 30, 2002 (18:00) #281

tucked into his turban which

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 30, 2002 (18:14) #282

gave him a huge wedgie. (*snicker* i couldnt resist) ;-)

~wolf Tue, Apr 30, 2002 (18:55) #283

*LAUGH* So, I continued with my

~MarciaH Tue, Apr 30, 2002 (19:30) #284

*laughing too hard to see my monitor* scavaging for dinner on the

~SBRobinson Wed, May 1, 2002 (09:36) #285

beach. Luckily i found three

~autumn Wed, May 1, 2002 (13:48) #286

crocodile eggs and fried them.

~SBRobinson Wed, May 1, 2002 (15:15) #287

Yum, yum! they were tasty

~wolf Wed, May 1, 2002 (17:37) #288

but mama croc wasn't happy!

~SBRobinson Wed, May 1, 2002 (17:46) #289

So i killed her and

~wolf Wed, May 1, 2002 (21:10) #290

made a nice handbag to

~MarciaH Wed, May 1, 2002 (22:32) #291

coin purses from the kids

~SBRobinson Thu, May 2, 2002 (09:43) #292

& hat with the left overs.

~autumn Thu, May 2, 2002 (19:44) #293

How very chic I looked!

~MarciaH Thu, May 2, 2002 (23:21) #294

and no place to go

~SBRobinson Fri, May 3, 2002 (10:10) #295

but up a tree and

~wolf Fri, May 3, 2002 (17:01) #296

knock down some coconuts and

~SBRobinson Fri, May 3, 2002 (17:38) #297

make a coconut bra. However,

~MarciaH Fri, May 3, 2002 (23:40) #298

looking around for a skirt

~wolf Sat, May 4, 2002 (11:22) #299

I found the most interesting

~MarciaH Sat, May 4, 2002 (20:44) #300

length of snakeskin with the

~wolf Sun, May 5, 2002 (12:18) #301

fangs still attached. I also

~MarciaH Sun, May 5, 2002 (12:25) #302

made earrings out of the

~autumn Sun, May 5, 2002 (13:52) #303

pretty shells I found beachcombing.

~MarciaH Sun, May 5, 2002 (16:29) #304

and made a shark tooth

~wolf Sun, May 5, 2002 (17:43) #305

hatchet so i could easily

~MarciaH Sun, May 5, 2002 (21:38) #306

carve myself an ornament for

~MarciaH Sun, May 5, 2002 (21:39) #307

notching my bedpost each time

~SBRobinson Mon, May 6, 2002 (09:42) #308

the 'caught' the Navy SEAL.

~autumn Mon, May 6, 2002 (18:58) #309

LOL! I was pretty proud of

~MarciaH Tue, May 7, 2002 (00:15) #310

my rapport with marine animals

~SBRobinson Tue, May 7, 2002 (09:54) #311

*giggling* in uniform and out. However,

~MarciaH Tue, May 7, 2002 (14:47) #312

This SEAL brought a friend

~MarciaH Tue, May 7, 2002 (14:48) #313

whose green bean casserole was

~wolf Tue, May 7, 2002 (17:05) #314

topped with those cruncy things

~SBRobinson Tue, May 7, 2002 (17:39) #315

and bacon bits. We ate

~wolf Tue, May 7, 2002 (19:01) #316

until we were stuffed before

~MarciaH Tue, May 7, 2002 (20:53) #317

we noticed lurking in shadows

~autumn Tue, May 7, 2002 (22:48) #318

an elephant seal, who challenged

~SBRobinson Wed, May 8, 2002 (09:55) #319

the Navy Seal to Limbo Contest.

~wolf Wed, May 8, 2002 (18:03) #320

I thought this should be

~SBRobinson Thu, May 9, 2002 (09:47) #321

a fun way to check

~autumn Thu, May 9, 2002 (13:36) #322

out who was more limber.

~SBRobinson Thu, May 9, 2002 (14:54) #323

Not to mention their abs!

~MarciaH Thu, May 9, 2002 (21:32) #324

Seal knees are famous for

~SBRobinson Fri, May 10, 2002 (09:36) #325

their curly, pretty hair, that

~wolf Fri, May 10, 2002 (20:24) #326

can be braided in three

~MarciaH Fri, May 10, 2002 (20:27) #327

corn rows complete with beads

~MarciaH Fri, May 10, 2002 (20:28) #328

that dangle around their ankles

~wolf Fri, May 10, 2002 (20:43) #329

*giggling* and make little jingling sounds.

~MarciaH Fri, May 10, 2002 (22:12) #330

The evny of all who

~wolf Sat, May 11, 2002 (10:16) #331

could hear it over the

~autumn Sat, May 11, 2002 (12:20) #332

dull roar of the surf.

~wolf Sat, May 11, 2002 (17:19) #333

Found an empty turtle shell

~MarciaH Sat, May 11, 2002 (18:17) #334

just the right size for

~autumn Sun, May 12, 2002 (18:03) #335

a cup. I poured some

~MarciaH Sun, May 12, 2002 (22:45) #336

intoxicating liquid for both SEAL

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (09:34) #337

and seal, and then myself.

~autumn Mon, May 13, 2002 (12:57) #338

We quickly became intoxicated and

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (15:11) #339

danced by the light of

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (15:29) #340

a firefly. Until we heard

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (15:34) #341

a Marimaba band coming closer

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (15:35) #342

accompanied by 50 trumpeting elephants

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (15:49) #343

all wearing pink tutus, and

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (15:54) #344

large purple hats with ostrich

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (16:04) #345

feathers dyed green, orange and

~wolf Mon, May 13, 2002 (17:13) #346

yellow. The parade finished out

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (17:42) #347

with a Tucan Sam clutching a

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (17:43) #348

with a resplendant fire engine

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (17:46) #349

lol ROTF kmfita

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (17:54) #350

followed by street sweepers from

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (18:03) #351

London. They magically disappeared when (what is kmfita?) :-)

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (18:06) #352

(kicking my feet in the air) a brigade of Blues and Royals

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (18:08) #353

stopped in to have tea. (ahh... *kicking right back at 'cha*)

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (18:14) #354

with the Queen at the

~SBRobinson Mon, May 13, 2002 (18:41) #355

bea hive, nesseled nearby. We

~wolf Mon, May 13, 2002 (18:45) #356

found bees in our bonnets.

~MarciaH Mon, May 13, 2002 (19:30) #357

and honey in our money

~SBRobinson Tue, May 14, 2002 (09:34) #358

and rocks in our socks

~autumn Tue, May 14, 2002 (14:52) #359

and it was all good.

~SBRobinson Tue, May 14, 2002 (15:04) #360

(espically the Wiskey) Soon we

~wolf Tue, May 14, 2002 (18:41) #361

found ourselves at the foot

~SBRobinson Tue, May 14, 2002 (18:43) #362

of a huge mountain. It

~wolf Tue, May 14, 2002 (18:44) #363

had smoke coming from the

~MarciaH Tue, May 14, 2002 (21:19) #364

the foot and summit caldera

~wolf Wed, May 15, 2002 (19:16) #365

. Seal wanted to know what

~MarciaH Wed, May 15, 2002 (19:21) #366

that gooey stuff felt like

~wolf Wed, May 15, 2002 (19:22) #367

so he climbed up and

~MarciaH Wed, May 15, 2002 (19:26) #368

stuck his tool into the

~SBRobinson Thu, May 16, 2002 (13:12) #369

hot moist center. He hickuped

~MarciaH Thu, May 16, 2002 (16:48) #370

belching flaming fumes dragon-like

~SBRobinson Thu, May 16, 2002 (17:04) #371

in their heat. I saw

~MarciaH Thu, May 16, 2002 (17:11) #372

visions of the lost Atlantis

~SBRobinson Thu, May 16, 2002 (17:28) #373

& Disneyland Paris -which made me

~wolf Thu, May 16, 2002 (19:13) #374

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHA* laugh with girlish delight and

~MarciaH Thu, May 16, 2002 (19:38) #375

grabbing a lollipop I boarded

~SBRobinson Fri, May 17, 2002 (10:01) #376

a nearby camel & set off

~autumn Fri, May 17, 2002 (12:50) #377

for the caldera's hot interior.

~SBRobinson Fri, May 17, 2002 (14:43) #378

The camel's name was

~MarciaH Sat, May 18, 2002 (23:27) #379

Madame Pele and I knew I

~SBRobinson Mon, May 20, 2002 (09:47) #380

was in trouble because she

~MarciaH Mon, May 20, 2002 (21:43) #381

made the ground quake violently

~SBRobinson Tue, May 21, 2002 (09:52) #382

Thankfully, the Navy SEAL was able

~MarciaH Tue, May 21, 2002 (14:42) #383

to offer Pele a virgin

~SBRobinson Tue, May 21, 2002 (14:58) #384

-himself (much to my shock!)

~MarciaH Tue, May 21, 2002 (15:12) #385

Struggling mightily she pulled him

~SBRobinson Tue, May 21, 2002 (15:16) #386

back from the edge, determined

~autumn Tue, May 21, 2002 (16:13) #387

to spare him certain death.

~SBRobinson Tue, May 21, 2002 (16:16) #388

and if i was lucky,

~wolf Tue, May 21, 2002 (17:10) #389

I'd get to him first!

~SBRobinson Tue, May 21, 2002 (17:25) #390

He was quite Hot from

~MarciaH Tue, May 21, 2002 (23:29) #391

struggles with Pele, but hungered

~SBRobinson Wed, May 22, 2002 (12:30) #392

for vegetable soup and perhaps

~autumn Wed, May 22, 2002 (12:55) #393

a goathead floating in it.

~SBRobinson Wed, May 22, 2002 (13:57) #394

Where we'd get the goat

~MarciaH Wed, May 22, 2002 (15:31) #395

He's Greek! He goes nowhere

~wolf Wed, May 22, 2002 (17:06) #396

without wearing his special thermal

~SBRobinson Wed, May 22, 2002 (17:07) #397

mittens. His fingers were so

~MarciaH Wed, May 22, 2002 (18:36) #398

delicate they could discern detail

~MarciaH Wed, May 22, 2002 (18:37) #399

***oops, make that sensitive, not delicate!

~SBRobinson Thu, May 23, 2002 (09:40) #400

invisible to the naked eye.

~autumn Thu, May 23, 2002 (20:16) #401

After chopping off his head,

~wolf Fri, May 24, 2002 (11:14) #402

and watching it run around

~autumn Fri, May 24, 2002 (14:58) #403

we prepared a delicious stew.

~MarciaH Sat, May 25, 2002 (14:57) #404

complete with a large salad

~wolf Sat, May 25, 2002 (18:13) #405

and coconut dressing on the

~MarciaH Sat, May 25, 2002 (19:13) #406

side. French bread was served

~autumn Sat, May 25, 2002 (20:09) #407

with a wheel of Camembert,

~MarciaH Sat, May 25, 2002 (22:13) #408

and luscious sweet ripe mangoes

~SBRobinson Tue, May 28, 2002 (11:19) #409

we picked ourselves. Soon we

~wolf Tue, May 28, 2002 (18:03) #410

found ourselves full and sleepy.

~MarciaH Tue, May 28, 2002 (21:40) #411

and on soft grass under

~SBRobinson Wed, May 29, 2002 (14:32) #412

a mango tree. There were

~MarciaH Wed, May 29, 2002 (17:01) #413

a zillion fruit flies there (Hey, I know these things - we have mango trees along some highways!)

~SBRobinson Wed, May 29, 2002 (17:04) #414

Our fly swatter had a

~MarciaH Wed, May 29, 2002 (17:10) #415

handsome bone handle set with

~SBRobinson Wed, May 29, 2002 (17:12) #416

pretty pink sea shells. It

~wolf Wed, May 29, 2002 (17:22) #417

was at least a foot

~MarciaH Wed, May 29, 2002 (22:34) #418

~MarciaH Wed, May 29, 2002 (22:35) #419

longer than Seal's. It worked

~SBRobinson Thu, May 30, 2002 (09:43) #420

beautifully, despite the big hole.

~MarciaH Thu, May 30, 2002 (20:14) #421

in the back where the

~SBRobinson Fri, May 31, 2002 (09:36) #422

splinters were particularily sharp. We

~wolf Fri, May 31, 2002 (19:08) #423

laid some coconut hulls in

~MarciaH Sat, Jun 1, 2002 (23:17) #424

the pattern of an elaborate

~SBRobinson Mon, Jun 3, 2002 (09:43) #425

Tic Tac Toe board. Next,

~wolf Mon, Jun 3, 2002 (17:09) #426

we had to find the

~SBRobinson Mon, Jun 3, 2002 (17:19) #427

little pink bottle Genie lived

~wolf Mon, Jun 3, 2002 (20:08) #428

in before she moved in

~MarciaH Mon, Jun 3, 2002 (23:43) #429

with the Navy SEAL. Where

~SBRobinson Tue, Jun 4, 2002 (10:24) #430

Major Nelso found her and

~MarciaH Wed, Jun 5, 2002 (03:40) #431

Thinking quickly won her in

~SBRobinson Wed, Jun 5, 2002 (10:18) #432

a minute by kissing her

~MarciaH Wed, Jun 5, 2002 (14:49) #433

Violins played. Dolphins danced. Euphoria

~SBRobinson Wed, Jun 5, 2002 (15:13) #434

filled the night. The AirForce

~wolf Wed, Jun 5, 2002 (18:26) #435

painted the scene on an

~SBRobinson Thu, Jun 6, 2002 (09:54) #436

old canvas left over from

~wolf Thu, Jun 6, 2002 (17:38) #437

a FedX box that washed

~SBRobinson Thu, Jun 6, 2002 (17:45) #438

ashore & was bleached dry by

~wolf Thu, Jun 6, 2002 (20:54) #439

the salt, sun, and wind.

~SBRobinson Fri, Jun 7, 2002 (09:42) #440

CHAPTER FOUR A New Beginning:

~MarciaH Sun, Jun 16, 2002 (00:51) #441

Deep in the woods of

~SBRobinson Mon, Jun 17, 2002 (09:36) #442

100 Acres, there lived a

~MarciaH Tue, Jun 25, 2002 (13:50) #443

Lovely young maiden of wealth

~MarciaH Tue, Jun 25, 2002 (13:51) #444

three eyes and a pet groundhog

~SBRobinson Tue, Jun 25, 2002 (14:31) #445

who wore a yellow ribbon

~SBRobinson Wed, Jul 24, 2002 (11:49) #446

& gold pearl earrings on

~MarciaH Fri, Jul 26, 2002 (14:14) #447

her peachy pink ear lobes.

~SBRobinson Mon, Jul 29, 2002 (11:10) #448

They were stunning. How she

~MarciaH Mon, Jul 29, 2002 (18:35) #449

wished he would return! Long

~SBRobinson Tue, Jul 30, 2002 (16:27) #450

lonely months she had waited

~MarciaH Thu, Aug 1, 2002 (19:52) #451

lamenting her lost knight in

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 2, 2002 (10:58) #452

Sleeping Beauty's Castle. He had

~MarciaH Sun, Aug 4, 2002 (17:21) #453

taken the key to her

~wolf Sun, Aug 4, 2002 (18:31) #454

(ok, i've completely lost track of this tale)

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 5, 2002 (18:50) #455

(we started a new chapter ....location is now a castel rather than island)

~MarciaH Tue, Aug 6, 2002 (18:02) #456

Chastity Belt when he went

~MarciaH Tue, Aug 6, 2002 (18:03) #457

On the Crusades leaving her

~wolf Tue, Aug 6, 2002 (19:10) #458

alone with his disabled valet.

~MarciaH Wed, Aug 7, 2002 (22:02) #459

"Pox!" she cried in vexation.

~wolf Thu, Aug 8, 2002 (18:18) #460

His only disability was his

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 9, 2002 (18:25) #461

inability to quote Shakespeare properly.

~MarciaH Fri, Aug 16, 2002 (22:27) #462

His love was obvious, but

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 23, 2002 (12:05) #463

alas, she loved another. So

~MarciaH Fri, Aug 23, 2002 (21:48) #464

Heart-broken he rode off seeking

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 26, 2002 (12:06) #465

his own true love. He

~MarciaH Thu, Dec 12, 2002 (20:08) #466

was still disguised as a

~wolf Mon, Jan 6, 2003 (09:36) #467

loch ness monstor wearing a

~MarciaH Fri, Mar 7, 2003 (13:38) #468

kilt, Glengary cap and sporran

~SBRobinson Sun, Mar 9, 2003 (16:56) #469

-causing the ladies to swoon (hi Marcia! missed you *blowing kiss*)

~MarciaH Mon, Mar 10, 2003 (10:31) #470

A gentle breeze lifted his (EsBee, I got your messages but was unable to return them.I'll be back! We NEED to do lunch!)

~SBRobinson Tue, Mar 11, 2003 (19:39) #471

kilt, showing off his large *wicked laugh* ;-P

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 12, 2003 (14:55) #472

(you are SO naughty) ego and the reason for

~SBRobinson Wed, Mar 12, 2003 (17:33) #473

so many racing female hearts ;-P

~MarciaH Tue, Mar 18, 2003 (22:38) #474

A surprise breeze caught him

~SBRobinson Fri, Mar 28, 2003 (14:19) #475

unawares, and he shivered in

~MarciaH Tue, Apr 1, 2003 (00:45) #476

anguish as he tried to

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 1, 2003 (12:45) #477

block the cold wind from

~MarciaH Sun, Apr 20, 2003 (21:51) #478

freezing his assets. Suddenly a

~SBRobinson Tue, Apr 22, 2003 (10:55) #479

beautiful young nymph appeared before

~MarciaH Fri, May 2, 2003 (18:25) #480

a pond with a serpent

~SBRobinson Tue, May 6, 2003 (13:20) #481

clasped in her hand. It

~MarciaH Wed, May 7, 2003 (00:03) #482

had a long tail and

~wolf Sat, May 10, 2003 (09:52) #483

*LAUGH* eyes that could steal your

~MarciaH Sun, May 11, 2003 (00:59) #484

soul. Despite the scales on

~SBRobinson Tue, May 20, 2003 (14:10) #485

it's nose, it had a

~MarciaH Fri, May 23, 2003 (16:22) #486

pompon on his impressively huge

~SBRobinson Wed, May 28, 2003 (12:24) #487

wart, which looked remarkably like

~MarciaH Sat, May 31, 2003 (17:39) #488

Queen Victoria in high dugeon

~SBRobinson Mon, Jun 2, 2003 (12:28) #489

after secretly kissing Mr. Brown.

~MarciaH Mon, Jun 9, 2003 (22:17) #490

They were secluded and apart

~MarciaH Mon, Jun 9, 2003 (22:24) #491

wrestling in the undergrowth for

~wolf Wed, Jun 11, 2003 (18:34) #492

the set of keys to

~SBRobinson Thu, Jun 12, 2003 (14:00) #493

the secret meeting room, where

~MarciaH Thu, Jun 12, 2003 (22:56) #494

her lace chamise had fallen

~SBRobinson Mon, Jun 16, 2003 (16:23) #495

to the floor, leaving her

~MarciaH Wed, Jun 18, 2003 (23:15) #496

quite compromised. He offered her

~SBRobinson Wed, Jan 7, 2004 (18:46) #497

Chocolate, roses and love notes

~paula Fri, Jan 9, 2004 (01:51) #498

scrawled in blood. An amputated

~SBRobinson Fri, Jan 9, 2004 (17:57) #499

limb lay beside her on

~paula Sat, Jan 10, 2004 (17:13) #500

her bed of nails. Aghast,

~SBRobinson Fri, Jan 16, 2004 (16:09) #501

she scrambled away towards the

~terry Fri, Jan 16, 2004 (16:15) #502

dusty desert cactus flower patch

~MarciaH Fri, Jan 23, 2004 (19:29) #503

brushing aside the occasional repulsive

~paula Sat, Jan 24, 2004 (15:30) #504

iguanas that swarmed her path.

~MarciaH Wed, Feb 11, 2004 (02:23) #505

Gadzooks! She shouted as a

~paula Sun, Feb 15, 2004 (23:22) #506

particularly hairy creature with terrifying

~terry Wed, Feb 18, 2004 (08:21) #507

dreadlocks and particularly dark skin

~SBRobinson Tue, Mar 16, 2004 (18:27) #508

rushed towards her! In vain

~MarciaH Wed, May 12, 2004 (14:39) #509

she crept as her dress

~SBRobinson Tue, May 25, 2004 (18:39) #510

flowed daintly around her elegant (Hi Marcia!!)

~wolf Sun, Aug 1, 2004 (17:09) #511

toenails. But, wait, she heard

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 2, 2004 (11:40) #512

screaming coming from the yellow

~visitor Mon, Aug 2, 2004 (15:21) #513

banana bird perched on the

~wolf Mon, Aug 2, 2004 (17:29) #514

*laugh* (sorry, the image was just too funny)

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 3, 2004 (08:32) #515

Lotus tree. Suddenly, without warning

~SBRobinson Tue, Aug 3, 2004 (18:15) #516

a purple people eater sprang

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (07:55) #517

up and cried "Never staple

~SBRobinson Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (13:20) #518

when you can glue! She

~visitor Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (14:42) #519

then danced and danced and

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (15:07) #520

danced with her best friend's

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (15:32) #521

pet monkey, Ivan. He was

~visitor Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (16:26) #522

a startling handsome, if somewhat

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (18:20) #523

hairy creature -covered in fleas

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (18:48) #524

and dreamily licking a big }:o)

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (19:28) #525

;-) banana the size of a

~wolf Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (20:25) #526

*LAUGH* submarine. It was the same

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (07:26) #527

size as the one used

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (13:28) #528

by John Lenon in the

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (15:13) #529

bathtub. Meanwhile, back at the

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (17:25) #530

ranch, the monkey was very

~bayouvetty Sat, Aug 7, 2004 (09:06) #531

much in need of a

~visitor Sun, Aug 8, 2004 (17:48) #532

salad. Not the kind where

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (16:09) #533

scary items masqueraded as vegetables,

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (16:41) #534

Rather, the kind where dressing

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (16:57) #535

was abundant and tomatoes were

~wolf Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (18:16) #536

both a fruit and vegetable.

~visitor Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (20:19) #537

The kind of salad other

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 10, 2004 (07:38) #538

folks might enjoy at a

~wolf Tue, Aug 10, 2004 (17:52) #539

Renaissance Festival. But, of course

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 10, 2004 (19:52) #540

no one could have forseen

~wolf Wed, Aug 11, 2004 (21:40) #541

the catastrophic event that was

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 12, 2004 (09:40) #542

to be the monkey's final

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 13, 2004 (21:12) #543

act of betrayal. It was

~bayouvetty Sat, Aug 14, 2004 (10:31) #544

Ivan's brother Ringo, you see

~SBRobinson Tue, Aug 17, 2004 (16:29) #545

who had noticed the great

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 17, 2004 (20:58) #546

grandmother's frustration at the monkey's

~SBRobinson Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (14:17) #547

obbession with purple flowers. He

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (15:30) #548

gave lilacs to everyone he

~wolf Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (17:29) #549

shared bananas with. Grandmother always

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (20:58) #550

felt the need to wear

~visitor Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (22:18) #551

rubber undergarments because of this.

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 19, 2004 (11:24) #552

The monkey, in a drunken

~CherylB Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (06:53) #553

stupor smoked an overripe banana

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (09:49) #554

til his lips were numb.

~wolf Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (17:53) #555

*LAUGH* "That's what you get, Monkey."

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (18:46) #556

replied grandma, AKA Sister Agatha-

~wolf Sat, Aug 21, 2004 (12:12) #557

who went down in history

~terry Sun, Aug 22, 2004 (03:20) #558

101 class after passing his

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (15:08) #559

Kidney stone. Soon after that

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (17:12) #560

the monkey started showing signs

~visitor Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (17:45) #561

to passing motorists as he

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (19:35) #562

hitchhiked to a Phish show.

~CherylB Tue, Aug 24, 2004 (07:43) #563

An icecream truck stopped to

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 24, 2004 (08:18) #564

get directions and was surprised

~wolf Tue, Aug 24, 2004 (19:54) #565

to learn that the monkey

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (08:52) #566

hates Phish food. He prefers

~CherylB Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (10:09) #567

chunky monkey when it's available

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (10:37) #568

*LOL* in Argentina, which is where

~SBRobinson Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (20:16) #569

he lived with his new

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (22:09) #570

speech therapist. She is trying

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (14:27) #571

to teach him to gargle

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (14:39) #572

while humming the theme from

~CherylB Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (15:52) #573

"Peter Gunn" in C major

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (16:16) #574

The monkey was very proficent

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (17:57) #575

at Scrabble. Conversely, he sucked

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (18:03) #576

at Life. Clue was his

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (18:06) #577

Tim Curry film. Miss Scarlet

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (12:18) #578

was the monkey's life long

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (13:46) #579

au pair. They always traveled

~CherylB Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (15:40) #580

incognito during this time of

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (17:07) #581

year. The monkey was very

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (18:18) #582

secretive with his new found

~wolf Sat, Aug 28, 2004 (21:09) #583

fetish. So secretive was he

~bayouvetty Sun, Aug 29, 2004 (06:38) #584

that he soon forgot all

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 1, 2004 (19:47) #585

about his banana. This was

~wolf Wed, Sep 1, 2004 (20:26) #586

completely against everything he knew.

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (08:50) #587

At last he knew what

~CherylB Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (12:36) #588

unadulterated bliss was all about.

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (13:35) #589

Being a Char Monkey. It

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (14:28) #590

*LOL*-you're on a CM roll today :o)

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (14:30) #591

was, of course, his duty (oops...I didn't mean to submit that all by it's self...)

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (16:33) #592

to guard the sacred temple (LOL! it's cause he's such a cute little Char-Monkey) ;-)

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (17:37) #593

from wanton jollyhose throwing strumpets.

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (17:42) #594

The strumpets' jollyhose were very (okay -now we've totally confused everyone who does keep up with the news at Drool) ;-)

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (20:12) #595

stretched out from too much sod 'em ;o}

~CherylB Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (07:01) #596

overindulgence in the sacred places

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (08:04) #597

Being a dutiful char monkey,

~wolf Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (14:35) #598

he carefully replaced those things

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (16:32) #599

with yellow sunflowers and new

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (17:10) #600

riding chaps. Now it's off

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (17:59) #601

to the wine festival where

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (22:10) #602

sampling certain sauternes seems sexy.

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (13:08) #603

However, the wine was not

~CherylB Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (14:52) #604

even a very good vintage

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (15:12) #605

so the char monkey decided

~wolf Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (17:28) #606

to make his own. He

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (19:58) #607

had nubile virgins crushing grapes

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 8, 2004 (12:30) #608

with Lucy Ricardo when suddenly

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 8, 2004 (13:21) #609

Ricky sang "Baba Loo." That's

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 8, 2004 (15:03) #610

when the monkey knew he

~CherylB Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (08:36) #611

was out of his depth

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (11:05) #612

quickly he tugged at his

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (14:15) #613

wet shirt and said "Happy

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (18:23) #614

groundhog day!!" But he didn't

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (18:51) #615

know that it was really

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (18:56) #616

dirty. He thought he should

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 10, 2004 (12:58) #617

drink more wine, so he

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 10, 2004 (13:51) #618

popped his cork and guzzled

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 13, 2004 (14:07) #619

WOW! that wasnt wine -it

~bayouvetty Mon, Sep 13, 2004 (16:14) #620

must have been relly old

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 13, 2004 (17:56) #621

whiskey. The monkey was so

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (08:45) #622

ambivilant to all the happenings

~CherylB Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (08:53) #623

he rolled over to sleep

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (15:11) #624

at last. He awoke feeling

~wolf Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (15:34) #625

refreshed and ready to try

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (16:42) #626

anything! First, he signed up

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (08:43) #627

for bungee (sp?) jumping. After successfully

~CherylB Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (14:04) #628

repelling his way to the

~wolf Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (17:59) #629

bottom of Mt Everest, he

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (19:10) #630

got a tatoo of the

~CherylB Thu, Sep 16, 2004 (11:03) #631

secret society of tea sippers

~wolf Thu, Sep 16, 2004 (14:34) #632

*laugh* which ran the length of

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 17, 2004 (19:50) #633

his very manely and impressive

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 17, 2004 (19:51) #634

ROTF -hello spell check! that would be: His very Manly and Impressive

~bayouvetty Sat, Sep 18, 2004 (08:38) #635

proboscis. He was proud of

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 20, 2004 (21:27) #636

the way it glowed in

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 21, 2004 (10:54) #637

technicolor. He never saw the

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 21, 2004 (20:25) #638

lovely female monkey with the

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (07:34) #639

rockin' caboose. She usually stayed

~CherylB Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (10:55) #640

in the shade to insure

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (19:47) #641

her lily white skin was

~wolf Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (20:24) #642

always wrinkle-free and soft.

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (20:41) #643

She would venture to Karaoke

~CherylB Thu, Sep 23, 2004 (13:14) #644

to sing her favorites only

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 23, 2004 (15:43) #645

when the moon was full.

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (13:12) #646

Today she was so excited

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (13:57) #647

about attending the very first

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (14:31) #648

showing of the EOR movie

~wolf Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (16:26) #649

that she forgot to wear

~bayouvetty Sat, Sep 25, 2004 (07:37) #650

jollyhose. Luckily, she sat beside

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 27, 2004 (20:02) #651

the Char monkey, and he

~wolf Tue, Sep 28, 2004 (18:03) #652

was able to keep her

~visitor Tue, Sep 28, 2004 (18:43) #653

and her jollyhose where they

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 29, 2004 (19:25) #654

would live happily ever after.

~wolf Wed, Sep 29, 2004 (20:21) #655

*laugh* ok, i've got to ask, what is "jollyhose"? is that the end of this story?

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 30, 2004 (19:25) #656

I think "jollyhose" is a term Colin Firth used in an interview referring to undergarments he had recived by mail. (From adoring fans) There once was a taxidermist

~CherylB Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (15:00) #657

who really wanted to be

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (15:36) #658

nominated for a Nobel prize

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (16:03) #659

he dreamed everyday that he

~wolf Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (18:23) #660

would win. He decided to

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (19:23) #661

live in London in a

~bayouvetty Sat, Oct 2, 2004 (07:10) #662

Spotted Dick canning factory. People

~SBRobinson Sun, Oct 3, 2004 (22:03) #663

often wonder why anyone would

~bayouvetty Mon, Oct 4, 2004 (20:15) #664

name a snack food after

~CherylB Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (08:15) #665

a delicately placed dermatological condition

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (13:32) #666

This mystery kept him up

~bayouvetty Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (17:13) #667

but he knew it wasn't

~zx6rider Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (18:47) #668

the prize winner. So he

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (19:31) #669

thought about how the new

~zx6rider Wed, Oct 6, 2004 (09:34) #670

process for preserving a critter

~wolf Wed, Oct 6, 2004 (15:34) #671

might be made possible with

~CherylB Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (07:48) #672

limited expenditure of time involved

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (09:22) #673

He displayed his critters at

~zx6rider Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (10:38) #674

the World Series of Taxidermy

~wolf Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (13:22) #675

Many people came and were

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (20:06) #676

mortified at the positions he

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (14:17) #677

placed the little monkeys in

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (14:55) #678

,but what really encited riot

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (15:32) #679

was the baby seal holding

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (15:34) #680

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (15:35) #681

a club and a shotgun.

~wolf Sat, Oct 9, 2004 (11:11) #682

He called it a statement but

~SBRobinson Sat, Oct 9, 2004 (15:08) #683

it was really a very

~zx6rider Sat, Oct 9, 2004 (16:33) #684

defined look at his psyche.

~bayouvetty Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (12:14) #685

He went to lunch with

~visitor Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (15:10) #686

several anatomically incorrect variants of

~SBRobinson Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (16:01) #687

his extended family, only to

~zx6rider Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (17:31) #688

discover he'd left home without

~bayouvetty Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (17:36) #689

his breeches. He was releived

~wolf Mon, Oct 11, 2004 (09:43) #690

to learn they weren't required.

~SBRobinson Mon, Oct 11, 2004 (18:16) #691

when skinny dippin! It was

~wolf Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (16:13) #692

such a cold day but

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (16:34) #693

he really fancied a swim,

~wolf Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (20:50) #694

so without further adieu (sp), he

~bayouvetty Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (23:37) #695

took a deep breath and

~CherylB Wed, Oct 13, 2004 (11:40) #696

plunged beneath the waves only

~SBRobinson Wed, Oct 13, 2004 (12:31) #697

to discover a beautiful mermaid

~bayouvetty Wed, Oct 13, 2004 (19:46) #698

toying with a sea cucumber.

~SBRobinson Thu, Oct 14, 2004 (12:02) #699

She was very surprised to

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 14, 2004 (13:27) #700

receive a call from Mr.

~CherylB Thu, Oct 14, 2004 (15:27) #701

Bubble on her very own

~SBRobinson Thu, Oct 14, 2004 (16:21) #702

pink barbie phone, espically since

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (00:19) #703

he died last year. Usually

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (13:22) #704

when he met women, they

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (13:51) #705

greeted him with a big

~CherylB Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (14:13) #706

raspberry blown in his face.

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (14:40) #707

Today, as luck would have

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (14:40) #708

Mr. Bubble is survived by

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (14:41) #709

oops... disregard as Gena and I were typing at the same time ;o}

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 15, 2004 (17:36) #710

it, the mermaid was completely

~bayouvetty Sat, Oct 16, 2004 (08:49) #711

fagged. She had been up

~zx6rider Sat, Oct 16, 2004 (12:45) #712

partying with Nemo all night

~bayouvetty Sun, Oct 17, 2004 (13:40) #713

at the Blow Fish Club.

~wolf Mon, Oct 18, 2004 (15:45) #714

That didn't stop her from

~SBRobinson Mon, Oct 18, 2004 (16:00) #715

hitting on the Char Monkey

~bayouvetty Mon, Oct 18, 2004 (16:44) #716

with the cute arse. They

~SBRobinson Mon, Oct 18, 2004 (17:47) #717

danced the night away and

~bayouvetty Mon, Oct 18, 2004 (18:10) #718

ate sushi. Sadly, they were

~CherylB Tue, Oct 19, 2004 (10:51) #719

stricken with seafood poisoning, alas,

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 19, 2004 (13:38) #720

and died. The End. Chapter 15 -

~wolf Tue, Oct 19, 2004 (20:53) #721

*LAUGH* how sad!!! Though Mr. Bubbles was presumably

~SBRobinson Wed, Oct 20, 2004 (17:53) #722

an imaginary character, he had (*Ha Ha Ha* i just couldnt resist ;-) i like the fresh start with Mr. Bubbles though!)

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 22, 2004 (09:18) #723

real life issues. His therapist

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 22, 2004 (12:12) #724

was Mr. Rogers. He warned

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 22, 2004 (13:38) #725

that "the land of Make-believe" (took a little poetic licence w/ the hyphen to keep it a 5 word story)

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 22, 2004 (17:16) #726

was for Bush's campaign managers

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 22, 2004 (19:08) #727

and Kerry's christmas in Cambodia. (Hi zx6rider! let's try to keep this story unpolitical :-) i won't Kerry bash if you won't Bush bash!)

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 22, 2004 (19:15) #728

Mr. Bubble hoped to achieve

~wolf Sun, Oct 24, 2004 (17:45) #729

political peace but, alas, his

~SBRobinson Mon, Oct 25, 2004 (16:36) #730

hopes were in vain. He

~bayouvetty Mon, Oct 25, 2004 (17:19) #731

started a chinchilla ranch in

~zx6rider Mon, Oct 25, 2004 (19:29) #732

Waxahachie Texas, down the road

~bayouvetty Tue, Oct 26, 2004 (15:38) #733

from Renee' Zellewgger's ex boyfriend

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 26, 2004 (16:58) #734

who liked her better blond.

~wolf Tue, Oct 26, 2004 (18:42) #735

Mr. Bubbles did too and

~bayouvetty Wed, Oct 27, 2004 (16:13) #736

told her so. She decided

~wolf Wed, Oct 27, 2004 (17:18) #737

to seek the advice of

~zx6rider Thu, Oct 28, 2004 (07:56) #738

Star Jones and Sandra Bullock

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 28, 2004 (15:27) #739

as they were authorities on

~wolf Thu, Oct 28, 2004 (16:54) #740

this kind of thing. First,

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 29, 2004 (08:36) #741

they went shopping, then they

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 29, 2004 (10:21) #742

had a Botox treatment. Everything

~wolf Fri, Oct 29, 2004 (15:55) #743

was going as planned until

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 29, 2004 (16:57) #744

they ran into Cher at

~wolf Fri, Oct 29, 2004 (22:32) #745

Hills and Dales. She had

~bayouvetty Sat, Oct 30, 2004 (09:10) #746

just finished eating an enormous

~wolf Sat, Oct 30, 2004 (10:06) #747

cheeseburger and 54 beers. They

~bayouvetty Sat, Oct 30, 2004 (10:45) #748

made her feel bloated. She

~wolf Sat, Oct 30, 2004 (21:18) #749

took Gas-X and was fine.

~zx6rider Sun, Oct 31, 2004 (17:22) #750

Afterwards Star, Cher and Sandra

~bayouvetty Sun, Oct 31, 2004 (19:49) #751

went to see Alice Cooper

~wolf Sun, Oct 31, 2004 (20:55) #752

in concert at the local

~zx6rider Mon, Nov 1, 2004 (07:53) #753

piano bar. They drank Cosmopolitans

~bayouvetty Mon, Nov 1, 2004 (16:44) #754

with the Metro Gals as

~SBRobinson Tue, Nov 9, 2004 (21:07) #755

they bemoaned the canceled premier.

~bayouvetty Mon, Nov 15, 2004 (11:39) #756

Something was terribly wrong with

~SBRobinson Tue, Nov 16, 2004 (13:25) #757

the monkey. He was so

~CherylB Thu, Nov 18, 2004 (18:43) #758

clammy to the touch, it

~wolf Thu, Nov 18, 2004 (19:36) #759

reminded the ladies of vacationing

~bayouvetty Fri, Nov 19, 2004 (10:44) #760

in a morgue. They quickly

~SBRobinson Fri, Nov 19, 2004 (15:38) #761

decided to move to a

~bayouvetty Fri, Nov 19, 2004 (16:04) #762

bed and breakfast in Derbyshire.

~SBRobinson Tue, Nov 23, 2004 (20:39) #763

Near the town of Lambton,

~wolf Thu, Nov 25, 2004 (09:37) #764

~wolf Thu, Nov 25, 2004 (09:37) #765

*oops* they met up with a

~SBRobinson Fri, Nov 26, 2004 (15:28) #766

Six fingered Scots man named

~wolf Fri, Nov 26, 2004 (16:35) #767

Six Fingerered B*****d. He was

~bayouvetty Wed, Dec 8, 2004 (09:08) #768

known for always carrying a

~wolf Wed, Dec 8, 2004 (20:17) #769

pair of mittens ready for

~bayouvetty Fri, Dec 10, 2004 (09:05) #770

dinner. He was married to

~CherylB Fri, Dec 10, 2004 (13:11) #771

a woman with three thumbs

~wolf Fri, Dec 10, 2004 (17:56) #772

who was really talented at

~bayouvetty Sat, Dec 11, 2004 (18:10) #773

oragami. She once folded someone's

~wolf Sat, Dec 11, 2004 (18:28) #774

underpants into a sushi plate.

~visitor Wed, Dec 15, 2004 (16:26) #775

Besides having three thumbs, she

~wolf Wed, Dec 15, 2004 (17:15) #776

could contort her ears into

~visitor Thu, Dec 16, 2004 (20:32) #777

various animals, like clowns make

~CherylB Fri, Dec 17, 2004 (12:21) #778

animals from twisted up balloons.

~57loulou Sun, Dec 19, 2004 (03:47) #779

~bayouvetty Sun, Dec 26, 2004 (08:53) #780

They sat down to enjoy

~wolf Sun, Dec 26, 2004 (15:21) #781

a piping hot cup of

~bayouvetty Mon, Dec 27, 2004 (15:33) #782

lobster stew, the specialty of

~visitor Mon, Dec 27, 2004 (20:14) #783

a former zoo where the

~wolf Tue, Dec 28, 2004 (09:54) #784

only beast on display was

~bayouvetty Tue, Dec 28, 2004 (17:26) #785

elusive tri-tongued gecco. Known for

~wolf Wed, Dec 29, 2004 (14:37) #786

its innate ability to sense

~visitor Wed, Dec 29, 2004 (17:51) #787

when something needed to be

~MarciaH Tue, Feb 22, 2005 (20:58) #788

eaten from the wall lingually