What would you do if the world was going to end tomorrow?
Topic 23 · 49 responses · archived october 2000
~ratthing
Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (15:45)
seed
I would:
1. have lots of consensual unprotected sex with lots of women
2. eat powdered doughnuts, bear claws, bacon, mexican food
3. chain smoke
4. spend the last few hours praying
~CotC
Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (15:59)
#1
I'd probably tell you about it and then accept your gratitude.
The World Will End Tomorrow. You're Welcome.
~stacey
Fri, Aug 21, 1998 (19:14)
#2
Thanks.
~cfadm
Sat, Aug 22, 1998 (01:00)
#3
keep screwing up would be my guess
~riette
Sat, Aug 22, 1998 (01:38)
#4
I'd do nothing, because I wouldn't know about it. It would come over me like a big $hit.
~stacey
Wed, Aug 26, 1998 (12:26)
#5
no need to freshen up pre-apocalypse then...
~TIM
Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (22:27)
#6
Freshening up prior to death is kind of funny, considering what your body does last when you die.
~KitchenManager
Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (23:16)
#7
assuming, of course, one isn't reanimated...
~TIM
Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (23:33)
#8
When I said last, I meant immediately after death, before rigor mortis.
~riette
Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:20)
#9
What DOES it do? Should I even ask?
~TIM
Mon, Nov 16, 1998 (05:59)
#10
All muscles relax, including the ones controling the bladder and bowels.
~riette
Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (01:52)
#11
Oh my goodness. Like with a sheep!
~TIM
Tue, Nov 17, 1998 (03:17)
#12
I don't know about that. I've never done a sheep.
~riette
Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (02:16)
#13
No? Funny - you don't seem the kind of guy.....KIDDING! Really!!
My brother told me this one: What does an elephant use for a tampon? A sheep. What do you think of that?
~TIM
Wed, Nov 18, 1998 (02:54)
#14
HA HA HA HA HA HA NEARLY FELL OUT OF THE CHAIR!!! I'm going to have to call that one in to the local radio station. joke of the day. I wonder if the sheep likes it?
~riette
Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (02:27)
#15
I found it rather hysterical too. For him it must have been pants-fillingly funny, because he says the thought hit him when he was driving to a friend's farm, and saw sheep along the road; they were marked with red dye.... To see that would've killed me, I swear!
~TIM
Thu, Nov 19, 1998 (02:55)
#16
It took me a while to answer this one. I literally fell out of the chair!
That's really good!!
~TIM
Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (16:08)
#17
In the conference on virtual communities we were talking about the symbolism of
sheep and grass. The upshot was that sheep existed for non vegetarians to eat.
I guess that we"ll be eating Elephant tampons. Maybe that's why mutton tastes
so different.
~riette
Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (02:03)
#18
That's it, now I'm hysterical!!!! I've always wondered what that WILLLD taste was in mutton - elephant period, of course! It all makes sense to me now!
~TIM
Sat, Nov 21, 1998 (02:03)
#19
O. K. We've explained the slightly gamey flavor of mutton, rather satisfactorily
I think. However where do we get white wool from? Real fast sheep? Or perhaps
from sheep that are too big to fit. I was told that virgin wool comes from sheep that are faster than the shepherd.
~TIM
Sun, Nov 22, 1998 (05:36)
#20
Where does all the red wool go?
~riette
Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (02:13)
#21
THAT'S why there's always so many red sweaters on any shelf. Look out the next time you go into a shop - there's ALWAYS more red sweaters than other colours. That's because they don't have to dye the wool!
And white wool comes from when Mrs Ellie expects her period to come any day, but it doesn't, because Mr. Ellie has been up to all sorts of things. And so the sheep is discarded after a few weeks, and remains an unused tampon, of course.
~TIM
Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (02:26)
#22
I'm beginning to worry about this, It's all beginning to make sense.
JUST KIDDING!!
~riette
Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (08:02)
#23
About what?? It makes perfect sense to me! Especially since I'm wearing a red sweater today. Ha-ha!!!
~TIM
Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (08:33)
#24
Red wool must be more common over there than it is here. It's my favorite
color and it's hard to find clothes that color. Must be, not enough elephants.
~riette
Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (07:38)
#25
That will be it! Perhaps you should go shopping for sweaters at the zoo? There are bound to be elephants there!
~TIM
Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (07:58)
#26
Yes, Riette, they have elephants at the zoo. However they have no sheep. Poor
Elephants!!!
~riette
Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (13:00)
#27
They have lamas....
~TIM
Tue, Nov 24, 1998 (13:17)
#28
Yes, Indeed Riette. However they have long legs. Might have a tendency to get
stuck.
~riette
Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (02:10)
#29
I think it would be an advantage! Longer strings to pull them out easier.
STOP!
I'm getting crass, and that's disgusting. But what do you think the elephant would do if the world WAS going to end tomorrow?
~TIM
Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (10:00)
#30
Riette, I always thought of the tail as the string.
If the elephant thought the world was going to end tomorrow, it'd probably round
up a herd of sheep.
~TIM
Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (10:00)
#31
After all, when you leave, you gotta pack!!
~riette
Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (11:28)
#32
ha-ha!! Love it! You are excruciatingly funny!
~TIM
Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (12:54)
#33
Thanks Riette. I try and occasionally I succeed. But the question is what would the sheep do?
~riette
Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (01:34)
#34
Put on high heel shoes.
~TIM
Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (02:15)
#35
HA HAA HO HEE HEE Riette, the Idea!!! Can you imagine a flock of sheep in heels?
~riette
Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (06:54)
#36
Absolutely! You wouldn't want to go to heaven looking like a tampon, would you? There are dino's up there!
~TIM
Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (17:12)
#37
Good point, Riette. However, a sheep would be just a mite small for a dino.
~riette
Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:37)
#38
What? You want the dino to use a grizzly bear? OUCH!
~TIM
Fri, Nov 27, 1998 (01:43)
#39
Riette, did you ever think that that is the reason that there are no white
grizzlys?
~riette
Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (01:13)
#40
HA-HA!!!!! You're impossible!!
~TIM
Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (01:19)
#41
Riette, I do try. and occasionally succeed beyond my expecataions.
~riette
Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:16)
#42
Occassionally??? You're the most incorrigible character I have ever met!!!
(that's a compliment)
~TIM
Sat, Nov 28, 1998 (15:19)
#43
Thank you Riette, Thanks very much
~riette
Sun, Nov 29, 1998 (13:13)
#44
You're terribly welcome. If the world was going to end tomorrow, and you knew about it - what would you be doing tonight?
~TIM
Sun, Nov 29, 1998 (13:20)
#45
Early this evening, I'd be getting off the concorde at Orly. (I know that they
changed the name, I just don't know what to) I think You can fill in the rest.
~riette
Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (02:06)
#46
You'd go sight seeing?
~TIM
Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (02:21)
#47
Uh, Yeah Riette, that would part of it. And what a sight too.
~riette
Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (02:21)
#48
Nice hillocks?
~TIM
Mon, Nov 30, 1998 (02:21)
#49
Very nice, Riette! and well shaped hollows also.