Physical Unattractiveness: who is the ugliest muthafucka here?

No, dammit...ME ME ME!!!

oh puh-leeeeez. i am so ugly my mama used to stick my face in cookie dough to make gorilla cookies!

hahaha!! sorry ray, but that was a good one. you know, i gots da botes of you's beat-broke every branch on the ugly tree fer sure dude!

since you two aren't completely informed... shave off all this hair, and prepared to face the full force of RADIANT GOD GIVEN UGLY!

well, if God gave it to you it can't be all that bad.....you're not going to shave it all off are you? but, we like big tall hairy men! it's just the hairy babes that are pretty scary (esp when we haven't shaved *yikes*) btw: hi wer!

hiya, hairy wolfsie! (gotta admit, I wouldn't want to play with a bald wolf...)

hahaha!! ooooooouuuuuuuueeewwwwwww!

Can't believe you've created yet another topic to mock me, Ray!

Umly dumly Award?

You mean I get it? Why, thank you, how very kind!

I deserve it--my teeth are so crooked, even a zillion dollars worth of dental work when I was a kid couldn't keep them straight!

Teeth are there for eating, not to put on display. These models you see on magazine covers sometimes, with the huge smiles, I always wonder if they're trying to cool off their teeth or something. I mean, it doesn't look like a smile, ya know the kind one gives when being genuinely friendly or amused. So what else could it be? I suppose I'd be hot inside my mouth too after a ten hour make-up session.

think about it though, if we sat through a ten hour makeup session we'd look' just like them, ugh! they don't look any better than we do, really. heck, even the magazines fess up to fixing these gals through computer technology. see, that's it, why can't people just accept women in all the shapes and sizes we come in? why don't they put REAL women on the covers of magazines? we're the majority who shop for clothing, not the 5 or 6 gals who wear a size 2! get this, i was passing by one of my fav places (though i don't shop there often) and they had this big sign outside that said we now carry size 2! i'm thinking, well that's great, but do you have this in 10-12-14????? one of each please for the different times of the month! maybe some of us real women should put our heads together and design fashion for regular women and regular women would model it, and yes, we'll get their faces and hair done. wouldn't that be cool??? damn, wish i had some monies and a head for business!

Quite!!! I'm a size 10, and wouldn't get this ar$e of mine into a 2 if I stopped eating for a year! I was probably size 2 the day I was BORN, know what I mean? I wouldn't even WANT to be a 2 - my husband (and previous boyfriends, I may add!) calls my five sizes over that 'soft and curvy'; now, I'd rather be fat and called 'soft and curvy', than be a model, and feel like a skeleton. And anyway, how would one sleep on one's stomach with pelvis bones like a pair of rhino horns???? Some men do like the keleton look/feel, but I've never been with one of those, so they must be about as scarce as that sort of figure. If you were a designer, what sort of clothes would you design for women like us, hey? I suppose we could always go to a photographer and have fancy photos taken to make our mugs look more bearable at least, but the one time my mum dragged me to one, I ended up laughing my butt off at myself. All that hair doing, and unwearable clothes, and the fan blowing one's hair like the 'wind' - ha-ha!!!!! In the end I said, nah, this is not for me, and Mum never got her fancy photos.

the fancy photo shops around here makes these gals look like sluts, sorry to say. they get to pick out their costumes so maybe that's part of the problem! i'd design clothes for the different shapes we come in, you know, i'm short-waisted so i can't wear hip hugger pants because i feel totally naked, and petit clothes don't help women with short waists and longer legs..so i'd concentrate on those areas-long torso/short torso etc. for example, because i carry my weight in my arse and hips, the pants i wear look humongous compared to my tiny top half so i look way out of proportion because if i tuck my shirts in, my upper half looks even shorter than it is.....oh, riette, i know you understand what i'm saying even if i can't get it out right!

Say no more, sister, I understand! At least you can identify your problem. Not so here. I'm not short waisted or short legged or long legged, I have no stomach, my breasts aren't particularly small, and they aren't particularly big - I can't quite figure out which parts exactly are badly arranged. And that's BAD. I can wear everything - I just don't look good in any of it. When other girls wear bootlegged pants, they look cool. When I wear bootlegged pants, I look like a cake tin. How bloody come, I ask thee??? Personally I would design clothes that cover the whole head too; that way nobody would know who the bad shape belongs to.

ok, let's dress like mummies only with big baggy bags on! i don't like how i look in a lot of things. sometimes i do feel good about myself and don't worry about what other people think. but others, i feel like they're looking at me because they can't believe how ugly i am!! isn't this sad? and then when i break out (do we ever outgrow that?) i feel like the wicked witch. the only part of me that i actually like are my breastages. (funny, i've never told that to anybody before). *cough* maybe we should move this conversation to the inner sanctum where we can start our own topic!

oh, i have the perfect visual--have you seen the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs? well, i'm the short, stocky, dark-haired one. people like me because i'm clever with words, not because i'm nice to look at. and that's ok, at least i know i have a personality.

Sing it, sisters! This is the story of my life...

At least you stand head and shoulders ABOVE life!

yeah you tallll thing Autumn! at least when you bloat no one notices but when we short gals bloat, it's like "what happened to you?" someone actually asked me if i was pregnant one time, can you believe that??? i'm glad to know i'm not the only one who feels this way at times, thanks, Autumn and Riette!! *hugs*

We three seem to have taken over this topic! Ugly muthafuckas! ha-ha!!! I actually managed to find some really good photos of Sonja and me, which Wer will hopefully post at some point. Never thought I could look so pretty on a photo....

I wish my sister and I had a picture done together. You have any sisters, wolf?

no, have a brother though...my daughter and i are practically sisters!

Except you always win the make-up fight!

haha!! believe it or not, we've been there, done that! (she used to play with my lipstick!!)

My two use any chance they can get to go into mine - luckily I ONLY have lipstick, so there's not much they can ruin!

halloween is the only time i'll put color of any type on my child's face. she likes her nails done too, so that's something we do all the time. (fingers and toes). once, when she got up too early, she proceeded to manicure all her babies! yup. all her baby dolls have pink nails now.....

HA-HA!!!!

Zoe dyed Robin's hair for her once when she was asleep...

What colour???? HOW??? Didn't Robin wake up at some point???!!

the one she had bought...she opened the box, got out the dye and put it on, not for a long time (after the carpet and a few towels had been dyed as well)

hahahaha!! just keep the scissors away from her, ok?

OH, boy!!! From now on I'm sleeping with a swimming cap over my head - don't want my hairs cut off or dyed. I might wake up with a perm one morning! �shiver�

what's scary about that is it'll probably come out really good!!! Sophia touched her head with scissors once (cut off about 6 inches of just little section of hair. fortunately for her it wasn't a big chunck that couldn't be made to blend in!)

When we were 11 years old, my sister and I once had a huge row over who really was the bionic woman. The only way to reach a fair outcome, was to measure our hair - the one with the longest hair got to be the bionic woman. And her's turned out to be 2 cm longer than mine, and she was GLOATING over it all day, running around in slow motion, jumping in slow motion, throwing back the hair, the works! So I waited until she was asleep, cut a piece off each of her pony tails, and waited until the next mornin . Same argument, same solution - she never figured out how I managed to win it!

*rotflmao* i remember the bionic woman!! i used to have the action figure!!!! and did she make the super bionic sound everytime she did those things? *dananana dananana*

Yes! It annoyed my Mum beyond utterance. But she had some really cool outfits from her seventies wardrobe, and let us wear these, so we always had the proper bionic woman outfits to wear! And the ear, remember - �bleep bleep bleep�. PLUS: we made ourselves huge platform shoes, using four bricks tied together, and tied to our feet - to be as tall as the bionic woman, you see. But it also helped a great deal with the slow motion running. Very tiring! The funniest thing was that it was all in AFrikaans!! We taped almost all the episodes, so every time I go home, my brother gets out the tapes, and we are like CRAWLING around with laughter.

Oops - not finished yet. I wanted to say about how shocked I was when I discovered, aged 16 or so, that Lindsay Wagner and Lee Majors weren't Afrikaners.

I bet! With their voices dubbed over. The funniest thing I ever saw was watching the show Dallas (remember that?) when visiting my grandparents in Germany. It was hilarious watching the lips moving but the voices not matching at all! On The Bionic Woman, I never did the platform shoes stuff (bricks?) but did pretend with my brother, who, of course, was the Bionic Man! Another role game we played was Star Wars and Battlestar Gallactica! God did we have fun!!

Same here! And my brother made a viscious little Darth Vadar with a little plastic sword that Mum bought for him once! And when we played Buck Rogers we used to force him into a paper bin so that he'd make a more convincing Twiggy. He payed us back a few years later when he ended up being twice our size....

haha!! we had this running episode of star wars when i was in the fourth grade--every day at recess we'd pick up where we left off the day before! oh, and my brother and i would ride our bikes and pretend to be truck drivers. remember when you had to pretend everything and didn't have all the accessories they have nowadays? we'd be talking on the CB through our hands!! *come in, charlie, do you read, kirrrrschtttt* what a sight we must have been to other people....

hilarious!!!!!!!! How soothing to know we weren't the only crazy childers to walk the earth! I feel so old when I think that Isa and Elza will probably find these persons I so looked up to when I was young, old fashioned squares! Do your kids like any particular movie stars/cartoon characters?