screwed's first 5-word story

~riette Wed, Oct 7, 1998 (03:41) #101

pouting like constipated horse backsides,

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 7, 1998 (18:06) #102

and wagging their tails likewise,

~wolf Sat, Oct 10, 1998 (20:15) #103

they strutted the lawn while

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (12:17) #104

having their own patches of

~stacey Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (12:21) #105

insidious-looking welts and lesions that

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (12:35) #106

generally have the ability to

~terry Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (14:49) #107

tend-to heal up rather quickly

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 14, 1998 (15:04) #108

especially considering all of the

~autumn Thu, Oct 15, 1998 (20:12) #109

bacteria that thrive in there.

~wolf Thu, Oct 15, 1998 (20:23) #110

CDC is researching their immune

~autumn Thu, Oct 15, 1998 (20:31) #111

enhancing properties, in the hopes

~KitchenManager Fri, Oct 16, 1998 (12:44) #112

that they may enhance our

~sonja Fri, Oct 16, 1998 (13:43) #113

sense of vision? (not very good with this sort a' thing)

~wolf Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (10:31) #114

Sense of vision, yes. Because

~KitchenManager Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (13:12) #115

one cannot truly see until

~sonja Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (13:16) #116

one opens one's eyes.

~KitchenManager Sat, Oct 17, 1998 (13:21) #117

Therefore, taking the CDC's lead,

~jgross Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (00:41) #118

smearing some on my eyes,

~riette Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (01:31) #119

and both my....toe nails

~wolf Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (21:26) #120

I quickly followed the turtles

~terry Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (21:39) #121

down to the raging river

~jgross Sun, Oct 18, 1998 (22:48) #122

and drank it right up

~sonja Mon, Oct 19, 1998 (10:58) #123

before resuming my journey to

~wolf Mon, Oct 19, 1998 (11:05) #124

the flip side. Once there,

~sonja Tue, Oct 20, 1998 (10:11) #125

I felt hungry, so I

~stacey Tue, Oct 20, 1998 (19:52) #126

began carving BitOHoney's out of

~KitchenManager Tue, Oct 20, 1998 (23:17) #127

my dog Sparky, the pride

~sonja Wed, Oct 21, 1998 (11:01) #128

of the neighbourhood. He tasted

~wolf Wed, Oct 21, 1998 (18:21) #129

french fries with mustard and

~jgross Wed, Oct 21, 1998 (23:04) #130

parsley and a pear tree.

~wolf Thu, Oct 22, 1998 (09:59) #131

*laugh* I didn't feel well so

~jgross Thu, Oct 22, 1998 (18:56) #132

I hung with the wolves

~autumn Thu, Oct 22, 1998 (22:58) #133

and retched behind a shrub.

~sonja Fri, Oct 23, 1998 (10:30) #134

(LOL) I got up and yawned.

~autumn Sun, Oct 25, 1998 (23:14) #135

After pouring myself a drink,

~KitchenManager Tue, Oct 27, 1998 (22:54) #136

and buying a round for

~autumn Wed, Oct 28, 1998 (13:40) #137

some of my best friends,

~KitchenManager Wed, Oct 28, 1998 (15:49) #138

I looked down only to

~wolf Wed, Oct 28, 1998 (20:15) #139

find my shoelaces tied together.

~KitchenManager Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (20:31) #140

"What a bitch!" I shouted

~KitchenManager Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (20:36) #141

at the midgets and the

~jgross Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (21:54) #142

ducklings they were sheepishly chasing

~KitchenManager Thu, Oct 29, 1998 (22:28) #143

over the hills and through

~jgross Fri, Oct 30, 1998 (16:55) #144

heroic doses of psilocybin mushrooms

~wolf Sat, Oct 31, 1998 (14:01) #145

where they collapsed. I say

~riette Sun, Nov 1, 1998 (00:39) #146

once more, "What a bitch!"

~KitchenManager Wed, Nov 4, 1998 (14:05) #147

"Damned straight and fuckin' a!"

~KitchenManager Wed, Nov 4, 1998 (14:10) #148

responded the ducklings in unison.

~autumn Wed, Nov 4, 1998 (20:13) #149

After finally untying my shoelaces,

~KitchenManager Fri, Nov 6, 1998 (12:22) #150

and publicly adjusting myself, I

~autumn Sat, Nov 7, 1998 (16:22) #151

made my way to the

~wolf Sat, Nov 7, 1998 (19:18) #152

Port-O-John, located conveniently next to

~autumn Mon, Nov 9, 1998 (22:36) #153

the boarded-up snowball stand.

~KitchenManager Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (10:24) #154

Knocking twice before opening the

~autumn Fri, Nov 13, 1998 (21:58) #155

flimsy door, I was surprised

~wolf Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (08:16) #156

to find myself already there.

~TIM Sat, Nov 14, 1998 (21:49) #157

"What are you doing here?"

~wolf Sun, Nov 15, 1998 (11:15) #158

I said to myself. Then

~TIM Sun, Nov 15, 1998 (11:26) #159

I realized that I was

~TIM Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (12:07) #160

looking in a mirror at

~wolf Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (17:49) #161

this beast I didn't recognize.

~TIM Fri, Nov 20, 1998 (17:49) #162

I realized that it wasn't

~riette Mon, Nov 23, 1998 (02:03) #163

a practical thing to be.

~KitchenManager Wed, Nov 25, 1998 (23:16) #164

And even less practical is

~riette Thu, Nov 26, 1998 (01:29) #165

not being that unpractical thing.

~ratthing Wed, Jan 6, 1999 (21:57) #166

Practically speaking, the french elves

~PT Thu, Jan 7, 1999 (03:28) #167

made their dough, and kneaded

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 23, 1999 (00:38) #168

the buttocks of the elf

~riette Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (01:52) #169

pummeling it all the way.

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (02:04) #170

Over the river and through

~terry Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (03:00) #171

the dale and under the

~KitchenManager Sat, Jan 30, 1999 (12:55) #172

purple mountains majesty, the parade

~riette Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (02:12) #173

followed the road to the

~ratthing Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (14:27) #174

scene of the gruesome butchering

~KitchenManager Sun, Jan 31, 1999 (16:56) #175

of all the king's men

~terry Mon, Feb 1, 1999 (09:19) #176

and all the kings arses

~riette Mon, Apr 26, 1999 (10:07) #177

farted together in perfect harmony.

~KitchenManager Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (01:29) #178

Which of course, meant that

~riette Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (05:41) #179

a great and holy aroma

~terry Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (09:06) #180

wafted from the arena football

~KitchenManager Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (23:23) #181

arena when one of the

~ratthing Fri, Apr 30, 1999 (13:39) #182

group of wer's women suddenly

~KitchenManager Sat, May 1, 1999 (00:11) #183

started liking him the way

~riette Mon, May 3, 1999 (01:11) #184

he would like being liked.

~KitchenManager Mon, May 3, 1999 (22:10) #185

Or was that being licked?

~autumn Sat, Mar 16, 2002 (16:04) #186

Well, as I was saying,

~MarciaH Mon, Mar 18, 2002 (18:33) #187

Autumn, we are all ears!

~autumn Tue, Mar 19, 2002 (18:28) #188

It's been a long time

~MarciaH Tue, Mar 19, 2002 (19:04) #189

No time like the present...

~MarciaH Tue, Mar 19, 2002 (19:05) #190

'Twas Dark and Stormy Night...

~terry Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (06:47) #191

And the creek started to rise up . . .

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (14:18) #192

My boat had a hole...

~autumn Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (17:03) #193

and the paddles floated away.

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (23:04) #194

They were up the creek...

~MarciaH Wed, Mar 20, 2002 (23:12) #195

Dispair was quickly setting in

~autumn Fri, Mar 22, 2002 (21:14) #196

when, ahead in the distance,

~MarciaH Fri, Mar 22, 2002 (21:23) #197

was it??? Could it be...?

~SBRobinson Thu, Mar 28, 2002 (18:07) #198

It was! A great big...

~autumn Thu, Mar 28, 2002 (18:38) #199

St. Bernard with a bottle

~MarciaH Thu, Mar 28, 2002 (18:50) #200

We were saved! But...LOOK!!!