screwed's first 5-word story

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (17:59) #601

to the wine festival where

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (22:10) #602

sampling certain sauternes seems sexy.

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (13:08) #603

However, the wine was not

~CherylB Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (14:52) #604

even a very good vintage

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (15:12) #605

so the char monkey decided

~wolf Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (17:28) #606

to make his own. He

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 7, 2004 (19:58) #607

had nubile virgins crushing grapes

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 8, 2004 (12:30) #608

with Lucy Ricardo when suddenly

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 8, 2004 (13:21) #609

Ricky sang "Baba Loo." That's

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 8, 2004 (15:03) #610

when the monkey knew he

~CherylB Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (08:36) #611

was out of his depth

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (11:05) #612

quickly he tugged at his

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (14:15) #613

wet shirt and said "Happy

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (18:23) #614

groundhog day!!" But he didn't

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (18:51) #615

know that it was really

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 9, 2004 (18:56) #616

dirty. He thought he should

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 10, 2004 (12:58) #617

drink more wine, so he

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 10, 2004 (13:51) #618

popped his cork and guzzled

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 13, 2004 (14:07) #619

WOW! that wasnt wine -it

~bayouvetty Mon, Sep 13, 2004 (16:14) #620

must have been relly old

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 13, 2004 (17:56) #621

whiskey. The monkey was so

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (08:45) #622

ambivilant to all the happenings

~CherylB Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (08:53) #623

he rolled over to sleep

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (15:11) #624

at last. He awoke feeling

~wolf Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (15:34) #625

refreshed and ready to try

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 14, 2004 (16:42) #626

anything! First, he signed up

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (08:43) #627

for bungee (sp?) jumping. After successfully

~CherylB Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (14:04) #628

repelling his way to the

~wolf Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (17:59) #629

bottom of Mt Everest, he

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 15, 2004 (19:10) #630

got a tatoo of the

~CherylB Thu, Sep 16, 2004 (11:03) #631

secret society of tea sippers

~wolf Thu, Sep 16, 2004 (14:34) #632

*laugh* which ran the length of

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 17, 2004 (19:50) #633

his very manely and impressive

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 17, 2004 (19:51) #634

ROTF -hello spell check! that would be: His very Manly and Impressive

~bayouvetty Sat, Sep 18, 2004 (08:38) #635

proboscis. He was proud of

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 20, 2004 (21:27) #636

the way it glowed in

~bayouvetty Tue, Sep 21, 2004 (10:54) #637

technicolor. He never saw the

~SBRobinson Tue, Sep 21, 2004 (20:25) #638

lovely female monkey with the

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (07:34) #639

rockin' caboose. She usually stayed

~CherylB Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (10:55) #640

in the shade to insure

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (19:47) #641

her lily white skin was

~wolf Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (20:24) #642

always wrinkle-free and soft.

~bayouvetty Wed, Sep 22, 2004 (20:41) #643

She would venture to Karaoke

~CherylB Thu, Sep 23, 2004 (13:14) #644

to sing her favorites only

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 23, 2004 (15:43) #645

when the moon was full.

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (13:12) #646

Today she was so excited

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (13:57) #647

about attending the very first

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (14:31) #648

showing of the EOR movie

~wolf Fri, Sep 24, 2004 (16:26) #649

that she forgot to wear

~bayouvetty Sat, Sep 25, 2004 (07:37) #650

jollyhose. Luckily, she sat beside

~SBRobinson Mon, Sep 27, 2004 (20:02) #651

the Char monkey, and he

~wolf Tue, Sep 28, 2004 (18:03) #652

was able to keep her

~visitor Tue, Sep 28, 2004 (18:43) #653

and her jollyhose where they

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 29, 2004 (19:25) #654

would live happily ever after.

~wolf Wed, Sep 29, 2004 (20:21) #655

*laugh* ok, i've got to ask, what is "jollyhose"? is that the end of this story?

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 30, 2004 (19:25) #656

I think "jollyhose" is a term Colin Firth used in an interview referring to undergarments he had recived by mail. (From adoring fans) There once was a taxidermist

~CherylB Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (15:00) #657

who really wanted to be

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (15:36) #658

nominated for a Nobel prize

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (16:03) #659

he dreamed everyday that he

~wolf Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (18:23) #660

would win. He decided to

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 1, 2004 (19:23) #661

live in London in a

~bayouvetty Sat, Oct 2, 2004 (07:10) #662

Spotted Dick canning factory. People

~SBRobinson Sun, Oct 3, 2004 (22:03) #663

often wonder why anyone would

~bayouvetty Mon, Oct 4, 2004 (20:15) #664

name a snack food after

~CherylB Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (08:15) #665

a delicately placed dermatological condition

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (13:32) #666

This mystery kept him up

~bayouvetty Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (17:13) #667

but he knew it wasn't

~zx6rider Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (18:47) #668

the prize winner. So he

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 5, 2004 (19:31) #669

thought about how the new

~zx6rider Wed, Oct 6, 2004 (09:34) #670

process for preserving a critter

~wolf Wed, Oct 6, 2004 (15:34) #671

might be made possible with

~CherylB Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (07:48) #672

limited expenditure of time involved

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (09:22) #673

He displayed his critters at

~zx6rider Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (10:38) #674

the World Series of Taxidermy

~wolf Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (13:22) #675

Many people came and were

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 7, 2004 (20:06) #676

mortified at the positions he

~SBRobinson Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (14:17) #677

placed the little monkeys in

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (14:55) #678

,but what really encited riot

~bayouvetty Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (15:32) #679

was the baby seal holding

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (15:34) #680

~zx6rider Fri, Oct 8, 2004 (15:35) #681

a club and a shotgun.

~wolf Sat, Oct 9, 2004 (11:11) #682

He called it a statement but

~SBRobinson Sat, Oct 9, 2004 (15:08) #683

it was really a very

~zx6rider Sat, Oct 9, 2004 (16:33) #684

defined look at his psyche.

~bayouvetty Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (12:14) #685

He went to lunch with

~visitor Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (15:10) #686

several anatomically incorrect variants of

~SBRobinson Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (16:01) #687

his extended family, only to

~zx6rider Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (17:31) #688

discover he'd left home without

~bayouvetty Sun, Oct 10, 2004 (17:36) #689

his breeches. He was releived

~wolf Mon, Oct 11, 2004 (09:43) #690

to learn they weren't required.

~SBRobinson Mon, Oct 11, 2004 (18:16) #691

when skinny dippin! It was

~wolf Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (16:13) #692

such a cold day but

~SBRobinson Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (16:34) #693

he really fancied a swim,

~wolf Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (20:50) #694

so without further adieu (sp), he

~bayouvetty Tue, Oct 12, 2004 (23:37) #695

took a deep breath and

~CherylB Wed, Oct 13, 2004 (11:40) #696

plunged beneath the waves only

~SBRobinson Wed, Oct 13, 2004 (12:31) #697

to discover a beautiful mermaid

~bayouvetty Wed, Oct 13, 2004 (19:46) #698

toying with a sea cucumber.

~SBRobinson Thu, Oct 14, 2004 (12:02) #699

She was very surprised to

~bayouvetty Thu, Oct 14, 2004 (13:27) #700

receive a call from Mr.