screwed's first 5-word story

~SBRobinson Fri, Jan 16, 2004 (16:09) #501

she scrambled away towards the

~terry Fri, Jan 16, 2004 (16:15) #502

dusty desert cactus flower patch

~MarciaH Fri, Jan 23, 2004 (19:29) #503

brushing aside the occasional repulsive

~paula Sat, Jan 24, 2004 (15:30) #504

iguanas that swarmed her path.

~MarciaH Wed, Feb 11, 2004 (02:23) #505

Gadzooks! She shouted as a

~paula Sun, Feb 15, 2004 (23:22) #506

particularly hairy creature with terrifying

~terry Wed, Feb 18, 2004 (08:21) #507

dreadlocks and particularly dark skin

~SBRobinson Tue, Mar 16, 2004 (18:27) #508

rushed towards her! In vain

~MarciaH Wed, May 12, 2004 (14:39) #509

she crept as her dress

~SBRobinson Tue, May 25, 2004 (18:39) #510

flowed daintly around her elegant (Hi Marcia!!)

~wolf Sun, Aug 1, 2004 (17:09) #511

toenails. But, wait, she heard

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 2, 2004 (11:40) #512

screaming coming from the yellow

~visitor Mon, Aug 2, 2004 (15:21) #513

banana bird perched on the

~wolf Mon, Aug 2, 2004 (17:29) #514

*laugh* (sorry, the image was just too funny)

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 3, 2004 (08:32) #515

Lotus tree. Suddenly, without warning

~SBRobinson Tue, Aug 3, 2004 (18:15) #516

a purple people eater sprang

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (07:55) #517

up and cried "Never staple

~SBRobinson Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (13:20) #518

when you can glue! She

~visitor Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (14:42) #519

then danced and danced and

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 4, 2004 (15:07) #520

danced with her best friend's

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (15:32) #521

pet monkey, Ivan. He was

~visitor Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (16:26) #522

a startling handsome, if somewhat

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (18:20) #523

hairy creature -covered in fleas

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (18:48) #524

and dreamily licking a big }:o)

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (19:28) #525

;-) banana the size of a

~wolf Thu, Aug 5, 2004 (20:25) #526

*LAUGH* submarine. It was the same

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (07:26) #527

size as the one used

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (13:28) #528

by John Lenon in the

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (15:13) #529

bathtub. Meanwhile, back at the

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 6, 2004 (17:25) #530

ranch, the monkey was very

~bayouvetty Sat, Aug 7, 2004 (09:06) #531

much in need of a

~visitor Sun, Aug 8, 2004 (17:48) #532

salad. Not the kind where

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (16:09) #533

scary items masqueraded as vegetables,

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (16:41) #534

Rather, the kind where dressing

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (16:57) #535

was abundant and tomatoes were

~wolf Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (18:16) #536

both a fruit and vegetable.

~visitor Mon, Aug 9, 2004 (20:19) #537

The kind of salad other

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 10, 2004 (07:38) #538

folks might enjoy at a

~wolf Tue, Aug 10, 2004 (17:52) #539

Renaissance Festival. But, of course

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 10, 2004 (19:52) #540

no one could have forseen

~wolf Wed, Aug 11, 2004 (21:40) #541

the catastrophic event that was

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 12, 2004 (09:40) #542

to be the monkey's final

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 13, 2004 (21:12) #543

act of betrayal. It was

~bayouvetty Sat, Aug 14, 2004 (10:31) #544

Ivan's brother Ringo, you see

~SBRobinson Tue, Aug 17, 2004 (16:29) #545

who had noticed the great

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 17, 2004 (20:58) #546

grandmother's frustration at the monkey's

~SBRobinson Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (14:17) #547

obbession with purple flowers. He

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (15:30) #548

gave lilacs to everyone he

~wolf Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (17:29) #549

shared bananas with. Grandmother always

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (20:58) #550

felt the need to wear

~visitor Wed, Aug 18, 2004 (22:18) #551

rubber undergarments because of this.

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 19, 2004 (11:24) #552

The monkey, in a drunken

~CherylB Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (06:53) #553

stupor smoked an overripe banana

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (09:49) #554

til his lips were numb.

~wolf Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (17:53) #555

*LAUGH* "That's what you get, Monkey."

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 20, 2004 (18:46) #556

replied grandma, AKA Sister Agatha-

~wolf Sat, Aug 21, 2004 (12:12) #557

who went down in history

~terry Sun, Aug 22, 2004 (03:20) #558

101 class after passing his

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (15:08) #559

Kidney stone. Soon after that

~SBRobinson Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (17:12) #560

the monkey started showing signs

~visitor Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (17:45) #561

to passing motorists as he

~bayouvetty Mon, Aug 23, 2004 (19:35) #562

hitchhiked to a Phish show.

~CherylB Tue, Aug 24, 2004 (07:43) #563

An icecream truck stopped to

~bayouvetty Tue, Aug 24, 2004 (08:18) #564

get directions and was surprised

~wolf Tue, Aug 24, 2004 (19:54) #565

to learn that the monkey

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (08:52) #566

hates Phish food. He prefers

~CherylB Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (10:09) #567

chunky monkey when it's available

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (10:37) #568

*LOL* in Argentina, which is where

~SBRobinson Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (20:16) #569

he lived with his new

~bayouvetty Wed, Aug 25, 2004 (22:09) #570

speech therapist. She is trying

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (14:27) #571

to teach him to gargle

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (14:39) #572

while humming the theme from

~CherylB Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (15:52) #573

"Peter Gunn" in C major

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (16:16) #574

The monkey was very proficent

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (17:57) #575

at Scrabble. Conversely, he sucked

~SBRobinson Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (18:03) #576

at Life. Clue was his

~bayouvetty Thu, Aug 26, 2004 (18:06) #577

Tim Curry film. Miss Scarlet

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (12:18) #578

was the monkey's life long

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (13:46) #579

au pair. They always traveled

~CherylB Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (15:40) #580

incognito during this time of

~SBRobinson Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (17:07) #581

year. The monkey was very

~bayouvetty Fri, Aug 27, 2004 (18:18) #582

secretive with his new found

~wolf Sat, Aug 28, 2004 (21:09) #583

fetish. So secretive was he

~bayouvetty Sun, Aug 29, 2004 (06:38) #584

that he soon forgot all

~SBRobinson Wed, Sep 1, 2004 (19:47) #585

about his banana. This was

~wolf Wed, Sep 1, 2004 (20:26) #586

completely against everything he knew.

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (08:50) #587

At last he knew what

~CherylB Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (12:36) #588

unadulterated bliss was all about.

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (13:35) #589

Being a Char Monkey. It

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (14:28) #590

*LOL*-you're on a CM roll today :o)

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (14:30) #591

was, of course, his duty (oops...I didn't mean to submit that all by it's self...)

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (16:33) #592

to guard the sacred temple (LOL! it's cause he's such a cute little Char-Monkey) ;-)

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (17:37) #593

from wanton jollyhose throwing strumpets.

~SBRobinson Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (17:42) #594

The strumpets' jollyhose were very (okay -now we've totally confused everyone who does keep up with the news at Drool) ;-)

~bayouvetty Thu, Sep 2, 2004 (20:12) #595

stretched out from too much sod 'em ;o}

~CherylB Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (07:01) #596

overindulgence in the sacred places

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (08:04) #597

Being a dutiful char monkey,

~wolf Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (14:35) #598

he carefully replaced those things

~SBRobinson Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (16:32) #599

with yellow sunflowers and new

~bayouvetty Fri, Sep 3, 2004 (17:10) #600

riding chaps. Now it's off