cake was invented

to make icing easier to eat without utensils

to make a woman's behind look like two pigs in a knapsack

because the peasants were out of bread

because they knew i would be born and look mighty fine with two pigs bouncing around the backside!

LOL!!!!

to break the ice between neighbors

I thought that was beer and nudity...

Beer and nudity is to break the ice between presidents and interns, not neighbours!

LOL

Wouldn't ice between presidents and interns simply melt, thus obviating the need to break it?

And how do you think some presidents and some interns would deal with sweet, melting ice between them, all over them?

A bigger orgy in the white house than already exists today.

If I were them, I'd just EAT it! Silly people! I MUST go now - even though I'd just like to sit here talking to you all day. Expecting my partner in about 5 minutes, and I'm not dressed or washed or anything yet. Looking forward to coming back!

I am looking forward to having you back, too Riette

I believe the eat it solution has already been tried and look where they are now Actually, Riette if you sat here all day, I'd sit here all day, and then I'd be a bit tired tomorrow, because I go to work about the time you go to bed.

Yes, quite - and I hope you're in bed as I'm writing this. Anyway, if I sat here all day, and you sat here all night, you could call in sick, and we could sit another day and night, writing silly responses to each other!

Now, that is an Idea!! So, Riette, when do you want to do this?

I can't, I simply can't!! Though I'd love to. But when I come to America, we can stay up talking EVERY night, for all I care. 'Cos then I'll have nobody to take care of - except you! In another sense, of course. ha-ha!

Riette, that will be wonderful too. Too bad that you don't want to do the other, Wednesday would be the perfect day for it, because Thursday is a holiday, and so is Friday.

Not here, I'm afraid - the Swiss don't do that! But I could phone you on Thursday. Oh damn!!! I didn't want to tell you when! Then again, I might be teasing...

Anytime is fine, Riette. I'll look forward to it.

Or phoneward! I must warn you though, that my accent is bad. And I sometimes stumble over words like a drunk - but be assured I don't. Bad speech, that's all.

Riette, phoneward is forward. The phone is in front of me. I Won't mind your accent, I promise.

But you might giggle, and I'd be very embarrassed. Do you have anything that I can giggle back at?

If you don't, Tim, I'm sure I have something that you can borrow...

Like what???

Riette, I enjoy it when you giggle, and when you make me laugh.

And I enjoy the way you laugh - like a lion!

Riette, I've never been told that before.

They were probably just too scared of your ROOO-AAAA-RRR!!! But seeing as I grew up where there are other lions, I'm not quite so afraid. Only a little....

Why are you afraid, Riette?

because some people carry the paranoia bit a little too far...

I'm not afraid of paranoia, Wer!! And if you were as used to seeing the creature from the black lagoon in your mirror every day as I am, you'd be quite comfortable with it too! Good to see you! Not afraid, Tim, just a LITTLE little afraid. Nice afraid.

Ok Riette, I thought something was bothering you.

By the way Riette, what kind of neighborhood do you live in, that you see the creature from the black lagoon every morning?

I was talking about myself! ha-ha! Creature from the black lagoon - that's how I look when I wake up!

Riette, That's Impossible without makeup or special effects!!

Let me put it this way: be glad you're not the one has to see me first thing in the morning! We're talking major trauma here!

Now I know you need new glasses, Riette!

I don't HAVE glasses, Tim. My eyes are good - I think!

Well,Riette you seem to have a problem seeing your own good qualities.

Maybe. But one can't very well go around saying, gee, you're right, Tim. I'm the most wonderful creature, ain't I? Words like that would trigger some throwing up mechanism in my stomach, and I won't be able to get to the loo soon enough!

OK Riette, But if you were to do this, you could always stand over the commode prior to the utterance.

Or I'll tie a sickbag around my neck all the time.

I guess that would work too, Riette.

So, Tim. Why was cake invented?

Personally, Riette, I think it was invented by someone who got tired of plain bread.