the illegitimate father/brother of all screwed topics
Topic 123 · 19 responses · archived october 2000
~wer
Sun, Dec 20, 1998 (03:08)
seed
Responses?
Opinions?
~riette
Sun, Dec 20, 1998 (15:55)
#1
What does it take to get him to sleep with a girl?
~PT
Sun, Dec 20, 1998 (16:44)
#2
Who? And what is an Illegitimate father/brother?
~KitchenManager
Sun, Dec 20, 1998 (22:51)
#3
easier to find than a legitimate father/brother...
~riette
Mon, Dec 21, 1998 (05:31)
#4
ha-ha!
~PT
Mon, Dec 21, 1998 (15:58)
#5
I thought that kind of thing only happened in Arkansas.
~PT
Mon, Dec 21, 1998 (15:59)
#6
That would be where your brother marries your mother. Right?
~KitchenManager
Tue, Dec 22, 1998 (00:09)
#7
or at least conceives you with her...
~PT
Tue, Dec 22, 1998 (10:45)
#8
But how does that make him your illegitimate brother?
~KitchenManager
Fri, Dec 25, 1998 (01:22)
#9
well, it's relative
~riette
Fri, Dec 25, 1998 (07:14)
#10
Or a relative, for that matter.
~PT
Mon, Dec 28, 1998 (11:25)
#11
Related, anyway.
~aschuth
Thu, Nov 18, 1999 (17:38)
#12
I'm no relation.
~MarciaH
Thu, Nov 18, 1999 (17:49)
#13
This is the most abstruse topic on screwed conference (you asked for opinions)
I posted the elsewhere, but it truly belongs here:
Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.
***
This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
***
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
***
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
***
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
***
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
***
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
***
My wife is now my mother's mom
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.
***
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
***
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
~Irishprincess
Thu, Nov 18, 1999 (20:57)
#14
Okay, my head is spinning now!
~MarciaH
Thu, Nov 18, 1999 (23:04)
#15
That is not the state song of Missouri? Must be Arkansas, then...!
~Irishprincess
Fri, Nov 19, 1999 (19:57)
#16
NO!!!! Missouri is NOT like that, contrary to popular belief! It is Arkansas you're talking about, not here!
~MarciaH
Fri, Nov 19, 1999 (20:18)
#17
Guess you are right. Amy cancels out the Ozarks, but there is no mitigating factor as regards the President...yeesh!
~MarciaH
Fri, Nov 19, 1999 (20:20)
#18
West Virginia is not far behind...when David was born they asked how long we had been married (A rather rude question, I thought!) They were amazed when I told them almost 3 years We planned it that way, but they probably thought we were retarded or something!
~terry
Sat, Nov 20, 1999 (08:44)
#19
Missouri's cool, right on Amy.